What is the truth? What is truth? Day 766

The process of what one does and moves as and focuses on is the process of self forgiveness. It means to realize how we move within ourselves and what effects that movement of the part as the person and what forms that person, does in this physical reality. As all parts effect the whole. The sum of the parts composes the whole. One must consider the whole and the effects one has on the whole when making a choice.

if our children are placed in a box for 13 years, on average and are told to memorize a story, is there any real practice on the whole? No, there is  a practice on a story told by observers about something, which can never be the real thing and becomes a picture about something because that is, no matter how close, never the real thing.  It is a design that is not working and because of the simplicity of the creation of practicing a non- real relationship with the whole that one is a naturally a part of, a separation from reality is the outcome. We see this in the growing ill-ness or dis-ease through the label we lend to the problem as cognitive disorders and processing disorders. Thus we have the capacity to see, we see the default and yet are so self involved from the same background, that we have no real spatial ability to see the movement of all the parts and what our effects as the choices we make, create. 

Inherent in the accepted design of our schools is the inherent separation from reality in the adults. I saw a video yesterday where a child was talking to cat, and what heard the child saying is something like, we are looking here, seeing here, we are not looking at the pictures. In walking time lines of and as how I created my own separation from reality, a memory comes up that astounds me, it was so buried and yet a part of that memory remains with me, even though I could not remember the exact memory. I was in a moment as a child, where i had realized that I had created something that was with me, that would have to process through me. I was upset about it and did not want to move through it. A pattern that has remained with me. That one thought of not wanting this to happen again, in a way developed an avoidance of interacting in ways that created the same scenario. It is a root movement into indignation, as indignation is not wanting to dig into something. Being in such a state is a constant protection, which becomes a distraction, or a lack of focus on this reality, causing a separation as so much of what is here is missed. The consequences of such a separation can only grow insecurity as so much of what is real is missed. It is a math, it is visible.

We see this on the world stage, where there is so much conflict between nations and between many factions, even down to the municipal level. We have a war for resources to reform them in the guise of good and yet the earth has become so polluted that cancer in the last decade kills more children than what was the previous number one killer of children which was by accident. In the law of compounding effects, all those supposed ‘ no significant differences’ as the choices made to practice, have accumulated and are now effecting the most innocent, destroying their life before it is even begun. 

We are using resources to form some idea about how life should be instead of realizing how life is. What did we expect when we followed stories instead of practical reality as the physical? Did it start with forcing agricultural practices that did not move in tandem with the physical? Is the whole permaculture movement about moving back to working with nature instead of forcing her into some monopolistic model, which is telling of the problem in the first place? Is monoculture the model of efficiency that we have been told, as storied information accepted and allowed to be sold to is that it is? 

If our public schools by design are a narrowing of focus into a limited narrative, then what is religion overall but a distraction of a story of information separate from the physical and practical reality. When a nation believes that some god said a land was their people’s land even thought the obvious is right in front of those people that they are all the same, they eat and defecate just like all the animals, why do we not see the delusion if information before reality?  We believe the story of information told to us, as we become the program of the information told to us, as story that is a distraction from reality, that we have made the story larger than life, even to the detriment of our children, those that have no story within them and when the resonance of the past as what was generated and accepted and allowed before them, comes up, do they understand how to recognize it, and does it too compound causing cancer coming from that past as mis-information that is a story line separate from this practical and physical reality? It is a much better and more sound explanation that any of the corpus of information sold via stories told in a box away from practical reality. 

All the conflict on this earth is the battle for the mind via mis-information, via false stories that ignore the practical and physical reality that is the means of life, that is life information. And it is right here in front of us. 

What is a truth? Try holding your breath, and see what happens. Thus the physical reality, the one thing we are allowing ourselves to be distracted from, is what is real. We are all the same. 

Day 254 Americans will not stop playing the game.

Today, while riding a ferry, I had a conversation with a man and his wife. The outcome was that Americans know that the “ game” as the system is rigged, and it is not in their favor. But, the problem is that they will not stop playing the game.

When this man said this to me, I stopped. I have had conversations with others, strangers, before, with the same outcome. We know, we just don’t do anything about is, and continue on our way.

But, if we keep playing a game we know is rigged, then we don’t really know, we don’t really understand. We don’t react until the limitations that are the outcome of our present monopoly game really affect us. Then we start to scream, when in reality, the moment we see a neighbor or a child struggling or not being developed, this is when we need to do something, because by the time we realize the consequences physically, meaning by the time the consequences of economic inequality and ecological abuse are staring us in the face, it is more than likely too late, and we no longer have the power to change the situation because the situation consumes our time and effort. 

In all common sense, the amount of money spent on military efforts in America makes no sense. This money could just as well be used to develop the countries we are attacking and ourselves, creating a situation where life on this earth is cared for and sustained within maintaining life and removing so much of the problem, which is a problem of being lost in survival instead of understanding how to take practical care of a physical world that can make sense when it is looked at as a structure that moves and functions in visible understandable ways.

First, there was the word - a structure and then there was “ god” a hierarchy, a game that one thing was more than another, that each of us was less or more than another, when in reality, we are all a form of life and that as this, humans are the same. This present game through lack, creates one human appearing to be more or less than another. We know that a human is determined by their environment, the lives of feral children reveal this, which tells us how capable we are at learning to use our sensibility to understand the world around us when given the chance. Oh, but then someone could not play the game of god, the game of being superior if others were not placed in situations where they had no opportunity at development. Thus, all lack of development in a human is the fault of all of us, because we keep playing the game. The problem with playing the game is that we as the game players become limited within maintaining this game, we do not develop to our full potential. And we have been doing this for so long that we no longer have any idea what this might mean. And, this game has been going on for so long that it is systemically moving into automatic. Unfortunately, the outcome is going to be automatic destruction, because this game ignores life.  Life came before judgement. It is judgement that is the game that we play that is a state of ignorance. We are playing a game of measure of ideas about things, instead of realizing that the joy is enjoying the being of ourselves as life in form and function, where when we realize this we become creators working together and being what is the real value, which is life.

Living Income Guarantee The acceptance of life as the value.

Day 416 Imagining Outcomes

So, all this stuff is going through my head, my consciousness, my selected values, for survival, my separation from my own common sense as life. I am constantly organizing, and then imagining outcomes, what I will say, how it will end, and meanwhile I am not here. I miss because I am not listenting with my natural ability to learn, my common sense, this that is the gift given to become one and equal to and as life here. It is humble, it does not fear loss, because it is life, it enjoys interaction, to give as one would like to receive, and I have allowed a picture in and as my mind to be a clutter of judgement, of what is more and what is less, constantly weighing through limited knowledge and information that is what serves an idol, a lesser god, an imagined god no one has ever seen because it does not really exist, only in the paranoia of the unknown as what the mind is, only in the voices in and as the mind, our judgements, constantly seeking self validation, telling stories to substantiate the story of survival, that is the separation, as limited ideas, opinions and beliefs. False idols, and we were told that this had to be brought back to earth, the malinged aligned with physical reality, with earth, as the physical world is what is real, it is here,  the biggest commodity created has been religion, relying on an image and not what is real. Thus what is real is taken, while we prey to a false god. And now we pray, to an idea of a more than, a consumerist more than, while men have to work in conditions where they must wear diapers to maximize efficiency. If we don’t want this to happen to us, then it is unacceptable, especially for a few having excessive “ more than” others, there, in all common sense, is no greater crime, it is a logic of insanity, there really is no other name for it. I have said this to people, and they get really reactive, it is astounding to watch, either this or  the “ I know, it is really sad.”   This would be a consciousness response, as this is lack of all spatial ability, the ability to see the form and function of this earth and the accepted and allowed systems, that can, when looked at with common sense, change. It is only the idea that something is far away, or not real because it is not on my street that it does not exist. This is a lack of being aware of this world, this is a lack of common sense. The interaction between people, as relationships, and getting ahead, within money determining life, create the interaction between men and woman for sex and for money a huge thing, a distraction to occupy so that what is happening on this planet is not realized. Each of us are to blame for accepting this. We are the evil of self interest, the allowance of the inner rest of us to be on blowing reality out of proportion. 

I have to slow myself down to get out of the bling of excitement taught and walk in common sense here, realizing I can only be in one place at a time, bringing back the habits of character in self interest into and as what is best for all, as this is the only choice, this is how heaven is brought to earth, this is the point where life can begin, equalizing self to everything, not just a picture show in and as the mind. Of course the only choice is to equalize everything as being the value, as respecting everything that is here, and realizing that what we have put out as mind has influenced the physical, as the physical is the manifestation of life, we warp reality when we believe that one thing is more than another, as we separate ourselves from the very substance of life, this that is common sense, how else can creation really exist? Creation would have to be common sense, the ability to sense what is here, otherwise there would be no creation. Thus the false god of good and bad, of more than and less than would, in common sense measure substance into a working form, with care, without harm, as the very substance is the value, thus any abuse on earth is a separation from common sense and a maligned sound, discordant with life. 

Greed is the discord, it is “ gain read” of the physical, instead of common sense of the physical. Greed is a dis-ease with life, it is not human nature, as human nature in children is not burdened with the measure to justify greed, they have no religion, they have no words, they have no gender bias, this is all placed into them, instead of themselves developing their common sense as life. What the highest abilities that men have achieved exist as is what humans are capable of, and thus to deny development is a crime, we cannot blame those in lack, because their lack is locked in place through absence of development. This system of inequality to common sense, to the rights of life to have what is needed to be the full potential as life, has been going on for so long that those who are extreme behaviors of survival are such because they were denied their right as life, as a physical being that requires certain basic needs to reach understanding and responsibility. Can’t expect a starving dog to be a dog, they cannot do it, because the physical does not have the support, and that dog cannot be blamed or called stupid, it is the human calling the dog stupid that is the problem, this is human lacking all common sense. Blame and spite lead no where, it is more of the same behavior of separation. This must be realized to the extent that every breath is directed towards changing this system to one that supports all life, as the physical being what is life, until it is done, this means supporting a Living Income Guarantee until it is done. This means putting an end to war, and the games of war, creating terrorist atrocities and building a story of blame on factions, a smoke and mirrors show in greed, done by those with the money, as who else has the means to create the machines of terror? If the governments have the means to survey everything, and they are placing heads of corporations into government office, then they are all in on the terror, it is not the common man doing this, the common man wanting to enjoy his children, does not have the means, it is this present system that is the terror and we all participate when we continue to support it!  he minions must realize that this has gone too far, and that inequality does not function as a supportive system. A new structure must be placed on earth, and the power is in the many. I mean, why do you thing that the fairy tales in childhood, told in various forms again and again, over and over, are about heros, a singular hero coming and saving the day: Because this builds a belief that ONE is going to come and save us, so we don’t have to do anything. The perfect illusion to enslave the common sense of the human, the understanding that it is the common sense of the collective that is the real power. And yet each of us followed this because it was an ego within us, we lit the fire that now burns as the system. The power is us, each of us, as life to use our innate common sense! We can only be in one place at a time, but our ability to be everywhere in every moment is through an understanding of physical reality, which requires us to use the very substance of ourselves as our common sense, the very building block material as what we in essence are Can’t imagine this, have to be it. In this we are all equal, in this we are life, in this we can choose to stand and be the creators that we are as this, and the fun would be in doing this together, as a collective of beautiful machines, with individual signatures, moving together as life, here, where what is best for all would be the choice, because it would be common sensed. The real god is the very substance of the physical, coming from nothing, into expression as life, thus all of the physical is life. To abuse any life is to abuse self. 

I mean really. Common sense is alignment with life. It is the natural learning ability of each of us. Common sense would always direct within what is best for all, as what is best for all is understanding the physical, being equal and one to and as physical existence.

Day 407 Existential Emotional Soup

I have had this real huge , as my perception goes,  this heavy emotion come up that I have had all my life. I remember walking into this house sale one time, the woman had died and the house was open to sell everything in the house. A yard sale that was everything. I walked in the front door with the person I was with and they immediately turned around and walked out, excused themselves. I was hit with this sense of such chaos, such despair. The house was a mess. Navigating through the house meant walking through tunnels. I was so shocked, even by the gloom, I had to walk through the whole thing. I just stood there in this house , and “ went into it” so to speak, because I wanted to know how such a thing could happen. Like I was trying to read how something, a human, got to this point of such despair and such squalor. The house was in a really nice area, and was, from the exterior, in good shape. At this time I had this reaction of wanting to get away, but also going against this feeling and walking into this. I just kept telling myself the person was dead, so whatever I was sensing ( at that time)  was so extreme I had to investigate.

It was like that after my husband’s death. I was not supposed to go back,but when alone, I did, I had to go into this. In this case, when I went back, there was nothing there, just an attic . In 1999, I was walking down the street in Zurich. I stopped and looked up at the sky. I suddenly felt like the whole fabric of existence changed somehow, in one moment, that everything would be lighter somehow. So, when I went back to the attic, I knew there was not going to be anything there, I had to move against the belief, I could not let the superstition remain, I had to walk into it, and there was nothing there.  Knowing is a like a state of being where there is a sense but no real structure, evident in not being able to place the experience in detail into words.

 Through my life, I have woken up in the morning with this huge heavy weight like thing in me, as me. For years I was terrified of this, and then I began to go into it, only to find that there was nothing there. Is this unclarity, my separation, that comes in measure of sometimes being a concentrated presence and sometimes my action of fear, depending on  how I ‘ wear it” , perceive it, place this as perspective, where this exists because there is a lack of clear definition, meaning perspective?

So, I was up in Boston yesterday, driving around, because I was lost ( thank fully I had Wazs on my iphone!) and I noticed that I was having this same sense of  heaviness which I registered into an idea of ( I am trying to describe it )  existential gloom, meaning existential weight. I have had these dreams where I can’t move, where it is like I am in a thick soup and can’t move because of the soup I am in, sometimes this comes up as a “ web”, but within this “ state of being” personification, it is like a soup, a ubiquitous soup. All kinds of thoughts come up, the closeness of the houses together, the lack of nature, the varying degree of decay of the homes, the ultra polish of some, the overlapping styles of the homes, where the architectural landscape tells a story of the decades through style change where the “ new” style is superimposed in patches around the old. The story from nature, to farms to the Victorian, to the twentieth century beginnings of modernism, and then from each period modifications, additions, creating hodge podge homes and stores. I stop and I look at the whole of this, with all the people walking around, and I get this sense of existential soup, and it is so hard to move in this, it is so heavy. And then, I walk, and buried under a bridge, under pavement, is a stream, so buried, and with the noise of the city, that sound of that water tricking cannot be heard. And yet, still it moves. 

I have always needed to have some nature around, even if it is a tree, because this is like the only escape from this. I actually have had a hard time breathing sometimes in just getting up and facing the world, a world that has to be faced, that has to be walked through. 

Yesterday, as well I had to talk with some costumers, and there was a lot of talk, the woman asked millions of questions, interrupting me. I had to stop and say things again and again, and try not to say things the same way. It began to dawn on me, how the layers of belief, opinion and idea, as the past, as the person, exist, where the nature of the person is as buried as that stream. And, what is layered is as many ideas as styles that have been expressed on the landscape of earth, some in decay, some changed and morphed into something else, some all polished and taken care of. As within so without. And always this sense of knowing without any real structure. So much mirage, this so thin yet determining so much of what we allow ourselves to be.

What is cool about writing things out is I start to see what I am telling myself. lol

Within this day, yesterday I saw more clearly what i am doing, as in pushing this “ bad” away as the judgements as the gloom, and the soup of ideological play based on ideas, beliefs and opinions, the infinite loop of a cult ( occult )soup that is ideological play, where the parts are not good or bad, and where some of the technology aids us in our separation from the physical to the point where to get through this maze, because nature is so buried, life is so buried, what actually sustains us,  we have to rely on  an external tracking device to find our way. I mean,  some dogs  can find their way without any external machine, across thousands of miles. It is that we have become our own lab rats, and we can no longer navigate the self created human maze, we have to rely on as external device to direct us. Somehow, this is really a waste of life, so obvious if we take the time to look. This world is a mess of self accepted and allowed limitations as in lack of accepting life, and plastering this cult, this soup all over this earth, having ideas become bigger than nature, becoming a mirage of shifting ideas, and not actually working with this earth in best practice, thereby not only respecting earth, but working with earth, this being prevention os the best cure. In the end, I would rather be like a dog, and be able to navigate with all of me, no external device needed, because I could sense here, I could sense nature. I mean , we must ask ourselves how this can exist in physical form, this means this can be done! Would this not be a lighter existence? Would this not remove the heaviness of ideological play, so dense in some places that the streams are buried. What must be realized within this, is that we humans, as personalities and characters, are a composition of generational ideologies, built on top of one another, without any real consideration for life. And this to the point where we now have a system that will “ hodge-podge” your past, and build what is needed in the self interest of what controls money, which is all of us as we accept and allow this, as we are the anonymous holding this form of separation, we are the creators of the NSA which does exactly what we do within. This is a structure of separation, as a hierarchy in place through allowance, through conjecture as opinion, belief and idea being more than, and thus not including reality in totality, we are our own occult that through ignorance has become destructive our ourselves as life and this planet.

Hard to believe that this soup of separation is energy, is our own fear of self, is actually a system inferior to life, is as how we compose this soup, this mirage, as the landscape mirrors of idol playing that we were warned against, and that the way out was to bring this back to ourselves, equalize ourselves to the physical, and to do this we had to bring heaven to earth. Hard to fathom, from our state of separation, that we must become like a dog, and stop trying to be god. We have become, in essence, less than a dog ( and yes I am playing with accepted and allowed values) It appears to me that that dog is a much more efficient and sustainable system.

Eqafe.com - Interviews to understand how we got to where we are, and what we are as life. Many are FREE.

Equal Life Guarantee - to begin to get this life in order of equality and oneness with and as the physical as what is real.

Desteni I Process Lite - To begin to realize the emotional storm created through accepted and allowed separation from life.

Day 384 Free Choice = Paranoia of the Unknown

Free Choice = Paranoia of the unknown

What is here on earth that supports us is known, thus there is no choice as to what is here that supports us, as to what sustains us, as to how we function - I’m sure that thorough-bred horse’s diet and exercise is very carefully directed and structured to produce that horse’s full potential. Human’s are no different - some enjoy moving the forms of dirt around, and some like moving the forms of digits and words around on paper, one is not more than another, they are simply different mediums, different perspectives of the physical where all are a part of the orchestra of the physical creation of life known as earth. The full potential of life in development means that one can HEAR/here this orchestra of life.

What is it that we hear at present? Dissonance manifest as starvation, poverty, sexual abuse, soil degradation, desertification, pollution, animal abuse, spirituality, prayer, hope, statements of no meaning, promises never kept, the same lies revealed with every changing politician ( The Pentagon Papers about the fabrication of Vietnam and the fabrication of Iraq - same story- same characters- different skin color and generation). And all so a few can live in a little bubble of luxury. This is insanity and treason. This is the result of living with our heads in the sand choosing to exist as a paranoia of the unknown, choosing not to look, not to self realize, not to follow through with understanding the systemic structures and the cognitive dissonance of emotions and feelings, of wanting to be seen as a “ good person” who will someday go to some cognitively dissonant make believe fantasy land called heaven where some old man sits on a chair and explains the world believing this to be more than actually being and living and experiencing the physical, the world, life, directly, being one and equal to the substance and sound and creation of life. I mean really. Wake up.

We are accepting and allowing systemic lack of development based on ideas that hide our own fears of being self responsible in common sense of a life all around us that reveals how it functions in dignity when physical needs are met, eliminating/preventing the behaviors of conflict and destruction from and of life. Thus our accepted and allowed governments are simply a manifestation of our own accepted  and allowed paranoia of the unknown as what we have created as consciousness, as our separation from self hONEsty as life, here.

This dissonance, this discord, has to be cleaned up. Governments that are not doing what is best for all, and presenting politicians that only give vague statements to pull on emotional strings are a sign of deceit and discord , and if we do not see through this and demand detailed solutions that respect life and order life systemically in detail, educating the life that is here to be and become itself as life, then what is being given is a dishonesty from life. This earth is a gift given to realize how to exist within absolute support of life, to become a fully functioning planet orchestrating life. Thus, the only choice is to do what is best for all, and the answers are all here, the only thing blocking them is a dissonance of separation into idea, opinion and belief that has no common sense of life.

Check out the latest Equal Life Foundation blogs on the systemic design and how it can be realigned to create a functioning world that lives the value being life, where all can hear/here themselves as what they are, which is life.

Related articles

• Day 378 Self Forgiveness of the unknown.
• Day 383 The Paranoia of the Unknown: The illusion of ONE hand before our Eyes
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• Day 381 Ignorance is bliss NOT: Paranoia of the UNKNOWN
• Day 384 Journey to Life Facing my Paranoia in a Live Situation

Day 264 Fear of speaking; thought dimension

crying baby (Photo credit: azfar ahmad | thepatahtumbuh)

A memory  of a story told often by my parents about me as a newborn baby.
Now I remember that there was another story from my first days here on earth. My parents had moved from California to the midwest. When my parents arrived in the midwest, my twin sister and I were born. In the process they had lived for a couple of months with my mother’s parents. The story is that I drove my grandfather crazy because I cried all night. I just cried and cried. I was evidently not a comfortable baby. I can remember this story being told, where my father would say that my grandfather would scream, “ Shut that baby up!”
So already, with my first days of birth I was hearing the words screamed through the house, “ shut that baby up! lol
So, as a baby something was very uncomfortable or shocking to me. And I wonder if it had something to do with things moving around in my intestines, for which as a tiny new born I had no understanding, and may be simply that the milk I was feeding on was not sitting well with me. I cannot remember this, perhaps this will come up from the depths.
Here I will forgive myself for these words, that are only a story told from my childhood about myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory, as a story, told by my father, about living in my grandparent’s house, where I evidently cried all night and drove my grandfather to scream out, “ Shut that baby up!”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have felt that i had caused problems because I had cried all night when I was first born and caused a memory for my parents where they told this story of how difficult it had been while staying at my grandparent’s house because I had cried all night and drove everyone crazy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe when I heard this story that I was a problem from the get go.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this story explains nothing about what was really going on, only about the emotions of one person and the demands made on another, not addressing or explaining why a baby would cry all night.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that perhaps this was when I began to find comfort from whatever was bothering me, from what was only a new sensation within my tiny human baby body, through being picked up and comforted so my grandfather could sleep, as he was known to go to sleep very early at night and wake up very early in the morning.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not have looked at this story in common sense , where all I heard was the retelling of the words ‘ shut that baby up” and how awful it had been because I had cried all night as a new born.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the retelling of this story, makes big how uncomfortable the people involved were and explains nothing about what was physically going on that would cause a baby to cry, or perhaps what was causing me to cry, left alone, and not paid so much attention to, ( although monitored somewhat because one never knows until one knows for sure) that what I was experiencing was just getting used to this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this emotion, when this story was told, of being embarrassed.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I had already, done something wrong when I was newly born, when I heard this story.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as causing problems based on a story, where within this story there was never any reflection on why I was crying, never any story about what might have been causing this, or if within any moment of surprise within myself as a new born baby encountering a physical world outside the womb, simply been picked up the moment i started crying, and comforted, thus I associated any reaction of surprise with being comforted and thus did not learn to face surprise within the unknown.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have judged myself as being inferior, within myself feeling embarrassed about a story told describing the early days of myself here on earth as a baby, where I had felt when this story was told that I was a problem the moment I was born.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that as a new born, I was either uncomfortable physiologically and whatever it was it was not addressed, or I was simply crying within becoming aware of things happening within my human physical body, and developed a response of crying until I was picked up and comforted, where i was picked up and comforted to be quieted so my grandfather could sleep and thus did not learn to address what might have been simply needing to get used to being here, as a baby.
I commit myself to realizing , within slowing myself down and breathing, when and as I feel that somehow there is something wrong with me, that my judgement is based on the way I perceived a story told by my parents, that described me as being a problem already at birth, a story that does not address what was going on physically and only expressed a memory of a past event as being a “difficult time” for my parents, as what was remembered was the grandfather yelling out.
I commit myself to, when and as a memory comes up from the past, to see, realize and understand where I placed a value of inferiority and to see, realize and understand the context within common sense of how the physical world functions, where i as a human organic robot operate in a certain way, and thus there really is no more than and less than, there is only the physical which follows functioning that is able to be understood, and this needs no ambiguous values placed onto what it is within being judged, and can therefor be addressed and understood.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that a crying baby means the baby is uncomfortable physically , or is reacting in surprise and if cared for, can be given an opportunity to self discover and learn to look and discover itself, here, where comforting as an immediate response, is not necessarily the best option, as a child can stop and realize it is not really hurt and self discover what is happening thus learning to face what is here in common sense instead of as a reaction that is met with comfort without diagnosis.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that memories with emotional attachments of self judgement, and or blame and spite, are a reaction of fear, where the behavior is a self interested justification without looking at what is happening within and as the physical world in common sense, where how the physical moves can be understood, as no real parent/supposed god, would not want awareness of life for their children, in all common sense. Period.

Day 217 Values in separation from life affect the physical

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to constrict within my human physical body as an act of ignorance of what is actually physically here, having accepted and allowed myself to be guided by an invisible hand and an invisible god as what was taught through family, education, society, acts of self interest, in the perpetuation of self interest within a system or survival as the manifestation of self interest where the question is what came first, the word and then the invisible god, and in order for this to come there must be what is life as a platform, where life was freely given, and thus the division into more than and less than came through the word as the words of the present system beginning in childhood through parents of same system for generations as the parents are the generators of the word of more than and less than, the consequence of separation from the substance with which the word was formed - so to speak.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any and all physical reactions within my self are myself in fear, anger, embarrassment, humiliation, all movements within and as myself as emotions and feelings as reactions indicating myself in separation in judgement as a directive in competition as fear of loss within the present system of money determining life, a systemic form of abusive to life as this is what is manifest as the fear of men standing within an illusion of loss of life, not seeing realizing and understanding that being here, is what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to physically constrict in and as my back, my lower back in fear of being seen as nothing in relation to siblings and parents and society.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look at the physical consequences within and without as to how this world function at present.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have made the desire for attention, as an idea ignorant of what I am, so huge within the immediate threat as a belief in a need for attention where attention came from imitating what was said as the words spoken by parents to survive and avoid punishment, where the fear of punishment was the incentive to comply as a child is too small and either struggles within a unvoiced and understood sense that something does not fit within life, or complies to avoid the alternative of non-compliance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have allowed myself to become excited within mystery, as the mystery of a supposed heaven, where excitement was generated, even at holiday seasons where there was always both the thrill of the season and the usual emotional storms of parents, the good and the bad, not seeing realizing that this was the face of the polarities caused by the separation from self as life, as these patterns of emotional reaction and feeling excitement were a part of every holiday event within my family, the good and the bad, both were there, like an emotional roller coaster, where I did not stand back and look at the movement within the altering emotions and feelings of anticipation of company in both emotional fear and the compounding of this into excitement.
I forgive myself for not having allowed and accepted myself to see, realize and understand this pattern, as this was seen on some level and is seen by all, as there is an ever present dread of the holiday season, coupled with memories as belief of what is good as being judgements of how one is supposed to be within interactions with others where there are warm fuzzy feelings of sharing and caring, yet what is shared and what is cared for, giving to the self interests of those within our worlds, without any consideration of all life, as ideas and opinions and beliefs service the storm of emotion and feelings as drives of self interest within survival, made so huge, a connection with self as life, as what is best for all is forgotten for the image and likeness of having a pretty picture consumerist holiday.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within all this, to stop and to breath, and to realize that through breath and self forgiveness all that can be done is to remain stable as self within this, realizing the consequences of continuing this ignorance of the consequence of what is accepted and allowed by the hands of men as what has created what is here on earth, when the idea of the invisible hand and the invisible god are realized for what they are, the diversions of attention away from what is real this actual physical world, that is the gift of life, the opportunity to birth self as life through equality and oneness with and as the actual real physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the constrictions within and as my human physical body are the suppressions of myself into and as emotions, thoughts and feelings based on limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, in separation from what is actually real this physical world, as I have participated in the game of illusion shaking the hand of an invisible hand and invisible god as the supposed spiritual and economic systems presented and believed, accepted and allowed, where the actual consequence as the products, as the outflows, of the invisible have become the directive, the invisible made larger than life, made idol, that the consequences of this are not looked at, as this would destroy the illusion and what has been accepted and allowed as the abuse of ignoring this actual physical world would mean that everything needs to stop and this earth reorganized to support all life, as life is the value, the real, as the physical as what is here, where there is no other choice but to do this if life is to continue, and this can be done through standing up and voting in a system of equality, starting with supporting a basic income grant and an equal money system, to begin the walk as life, equal and one to what is real, the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that physical constriction is self in fear of self expression standing equal and one as life in common sense of this actual physical world, in favor of serving an invisible hand and an invisible god.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the limited values that support an invisible hand and an invisible god to be what validates myself as life not stopping and seeing the deception of this idol worship of what is invisible as the allowance of abuse and ignorance of this actual, real, tangible physical world that exists because of the structures and systems built by the hands of men, thus it is the beliefs of men and not the actual physical actions of men than have directed what is here on this planet, as all the abuse existent is a product of men being directed by illusions, where the real, as the building by the hands of men can become directed by what is best for all as the physical becoming one and equal to the physical, which in common sense will not be difficult once realized, all that need be done is to remove the invisible idols made huge in ignorance of what is one and equal in all that is here as the substance of life.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

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Day 102 The sigh of avoidance character

Day 102 The sigh of avoidance character

My mother was here the other day. Religion came up. She stood up, sighed and turned to walk away. This one movement of standing, sighing and turning away, my twin sister has been here and done the same, and so have I. Like peas in a pod, the same action again and again. How many generations?

This is “giving up,” this is believing things are impossible, in-passable, that my shit is holier than yours, that “I know”. Yet, all of this is an avoidance character. I avoid becoming involved so that I do not have to deal with the “shit.”  I sigh and walk away. As though I am above, and within this supposed “abovness” I become the “holier than thou” salvation character, where I “save” no one, I just end up stewing in my own self pity, for having wanted to save and thinking I tried.

What I am avoiding is life, is myself, is realizing that all actions as dramatic events on this earth are the outflow of what is accepted and allowed that is the image and likeness of myself as I am all as one as equal. The resolution of this emotion and feeling is in separation from what is physically here, the pixels are not aligned with this physical world.

And this physical world, is ignored  as the movement of the care actor is deemed of  import. A storm on what is actually here, where I as life am here, this physical world - as myself as a physical being - need not seek attention and acknowledgement through incessant peek-a-boo validation as the only real validation is being physical, one and equal with and as the physical world.

My care acting is for emotions and feelings and thoughts, composed of wants , needs and desires, to ensure survival in a system of for-gotten values as we fear “picking up the violin” meaning this physical world and playing with and as the physical world. Where all it takes is realizing the form and structure of the physical and learning how to place our fingers on the strings. Something each and every one of us can do. What is here is known, we know how to take care of this physical world, yet we have allowed a system, where those that fear playing the violin have grabbed what appears to be an easy sustenance that is not of real full self development as life, and build a battle field of war to protect their own fear of being and becoming life, of picking up this physical world, meaning becoming one and equal to this physical world, and standing up in full interplay with and as this physical world. Where this is only existent when earth becomes heaven on earth, as this is interaction with the “violin” in full matched per form as all that is here “stance.” No parent/real “god” would have it any other way. As this is the opportunity to be and become life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of avoidance, where in standing up and sighing, I stand on a soap box, pick up a self pity rag to hold my tears - that tare at my flesh, and within my character of superiority I become the character of the rejected savior, believing that I know and am mis-understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that standing up and sighing, is myself in separation from life, as I am not here, one and equal to this physical world, and am imposing ideas and beliefs and opinions that are a story of belief in and as my mind, in separation from what is actually physically here, as I believe there is some god and holy place just waiting to realize how special I am, thus can I stand up and walk away, avoid what is here, avoid facing the limited view point of selected pixels of belief , opinion and idea, that ignore what is physically here, what is tangible with my human physical hands.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the desire for sex, in and as needing an image in and as my mind, to stimulate my human physical body, is no different than needing an image of a god surrounded with angels ( an even this image is limited as who the hell wants to go and sit with a supposed “god” surrounded by angels - how fucking boring), as both are seeking a limited means of self expression, and if one would look it becomes obvious that what one believes is an escape to a “better place” has no real substance beyond the image, and just as with sex, the image and action with image is never satisfying and must be perpetually sought, an action mimicked in the drugs sold for health were health is never achieved or the drugs would no longer be necessary.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when I stand up and I sigh and I turn to move away, I am existing in and as my mind, in judgement, fixed in stone, engraving my own tombstone, and not here, in and as breath, equalizing myself as one and equal to what is physically real, here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this character of “giving up” is avoiding being here, facing what is here, which is to say NOT facing the separations accepted and allowed as emotions, thoughts and feelings, desires, wants and needs, as what is being accepted and allowed, instead of realizing what is physically here as what is real, a constant that moves and does not move.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the energetic rushes as emotions and feelings are the separations of myself from life, the outplay of ideas and opinions and beliefs, within a bubble that turns me into a human light bulb and consumes my flesh, where I am really like a firefly on earth in separation from earth, and not here one and equal to what is real, the support of myself here, this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all emotions and feelings are different densities of energy, one is perceived as a negative feeling and the more dense, the positive emotion , yet the two within their spectrum of intensity are the separation of myself into and as wants, desires and needs, based on beliefs , opinions and ideas, within a system of inequality, known as capitalism, presented as democracy,  where my energetic movements in and as myself are based in fear of survival, and thus myself ignoring this physical sustaining world as the physical as life, where it is known how to sustain what is here on this planet, yet the storm of survival/fear and thus the creation of competition is the separation, as the human is at war with himself and not existing in the principle of equality, the giving as you would like to receive, the answer that has been given and is known by each and every one of us.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that emotions and feelings are based on thoughts, as ideas, opinions, and beliefs that are what has been taught by parents, which was taught by their parents etc. within a society that reflects inequality and thus all that has been conveyed through time, a conveyor belt of separation from what is real, this physical world, is causing the destruction of this earth as the human is ignoring understanding of how the present systems work, where if it were understood how this system works, the only choice is to stand and organize a system of support for all life and then to vote in this system, as protest of just an act of blame, where an act of blame is not an actual physical act of reorganization, where this will take all of us, and if we expect another to stand then earth will end, where we fear losing our jobs within a system that will be the death of us, so the challenge is to stand, the one thing feared is the one thing needed to be done, as this is common sense, because it is the fear that is the illusion, thus the thing feared is the only way through to be faced to reach heaven on earth. There is no other choice.

No one is coming to save anyone, as the gift of life is being given, to realize fear is the illusion and that there is only one way to realize this and that is to walk through it, and that each and every one of us must do this all by ourselves, thus there is not one to do this for you and me but ourselves. alone to become all one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear emotions and reactions within others, to fear looking, where myself imposing my own beliefs and opinions and ideas, is one and the same as myself fearing to look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have the tools of self forgiveness, writing,  corrective application and breath, within and as the principle of oneness in equality as what is best for all is best for self, here

I commit myself to no longer standing up and allowing myself to sigh and turn away, in and as the avoidance character, in and as a belief that I know and am not accepted or not understood, which is my self just wanting to be right, where I have separated myself from myself as life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to realizing that every moment where an interaction is not resolved to a point of equality is an act of the mind wanting to win something, wanting to survive, existing in more than and less than, where myself as equality is wanting to be more and not myself moving into and as, one and equal to, life, as life is all as one as equal here, as this is the only choice.

I commit myself to breathing, to forgiving myself to and as what I am, to stop the movement within and as myself as energy, as emotions and feelings and thoughts, to bring the pieces of myself back together again as all as one as equal here for the children to come, so that they may become one and equal as life, here.

I commit myself to realizing that the present system, accepted and allowed on earth must change to a system of oneness and equality, where all life is supported, where all forms are dignified as the life that they are.

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