Day 231 Imagination Dimension : Despair Character

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Peter Pan, kuva 1 (Photo credit: Ryhmäteatteri)

Day 230
Imagination Dimension

“To remember here, is that the Imagination Dimension – one will see a “Play Out”, like a “Scene” in one’s Mind. The Thought Dimension is only ONE IMAGE, ONE MEMORY, like a picture, whereas the Imagination Dimension one will see an entire play out of a scene/scenario.”


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself standing having to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself standing and being told that I am to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be within confusion within the face of being told that I am to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself as being overwhelmed within responding to the words that as a child I am to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have used this, “to be seen and not heard” in the face of standing before a teacher, or a parent, to avoid any self responsibility, and self honesty, through allowing the “ heard” to be “ heard” so that I could get it over with.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have believed that I was to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I was something to be seen and not something to be heard.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as something to be seen only, and to hear these words many times, would teach a child, that the adult world was a stage of conversation, separate from the physical, that the adult world was something separate and secret, and as a child I did not have the ‘codes” to get into this separate and secret society.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have been intrigued by this secret adult society, where i would sit on the stairs and listen, secretly listening for the code words to gain access to this secret society.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory of myself as a child, in early elementary school, where I am running and stop and look at this tree, which has come up so many times, as though I am in the story of Peter Pan, or The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, where there seems to be two worlds, the world of the adults and another world that seems distant.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created two worlds in and as my imagination where, there is the world to be seen, to aspire to, and a world heard and not seen, one world left for another, thereby creating an idea of two worlds, the world of the child and the world of the adult, where I create aspirations to move from one world to the other.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding how an idea of “being seen but not heard” is in and of itself, when heard again and again, separates myself from myself as life, through division into an idea of one world versing another, one verse taking over another.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understand that in creating one verse taking over another, I accept and allow the idea of inequality, of separation.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that to believe there is the world of the child, not yet acclimated/conditioned/ tried/ baptized/converted into the secretsociety of the adult that I have accepted a division and separation from what is real and constant in all within and as the physical world, made from the same substance, which is equal and one and what supports all life, as it is life, the value.
I commit myself to no longer seeing, understanding, accepting this world of belief as division into and as a process of moving from one world to another, and to remain here, with and as breath, to equalize myself to what is real here, the physical.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to move from one verse to another in and as believing I am to learn the secret words to allow myself to move from one level to another.
When and as I see myself in the face of “to be seen and not heard” within believing I do not have the secret language to enter a division, as a level, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that the separation is from what is real, this actual physical world, and thus into limitation as ideas and beliefs and opinions, where the actual physical world is seen yet unheard.
When and as I face a division where i am told I do not have the correct verse, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that the only verse is of common sense of this actual physical world.
When and as I face division, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself back, equal and one, through breath, to what is real, this actual physical world, to realize, see and understand that I am a neophyte of life, as a human, given the gift of life, as the physical, to equalize myself to and as life, here.

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

Free Eqafe Interviews

Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

Day 208 Fluctuating vertigo

Ladder, Vertigo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was up on a ladder today and suddenly had vertigo whereas one moment before I did not, and had no qualms about being up high on a ladder.
I had had this the days before, and had spoken some SF on the point, and a memory from high school where I experienced a man falling onto his head onto cement. Today I remembered a story about a relative that died falling off a ladder. It was cool, because when I started this project the vertigo was much more intense, and though it returned today, I “caught it”, and the duration of the experience, as mind, was not as overwhelming.
So I will walk some more self forgiveness on this point, and tomorrow see what happens. I have to say, I am not sure what triggered this, but perhaps it will come up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suddenly get nervous about being up on a ladder, and within this losing all sense of the physical space I am in.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had the thought that I wished i had someone there to help me with this one corner of the house.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it was at this moment of “wishing” that the vertigo suddenly appeared.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I also had the thought that I was close to the edge of the house, and the end of the deck and the ground below the deck i judged as being far away, despite the fact that I had taken careful steps to secure the ladder, and had even been up to this corner of the house before, and everything had been fine and secure, thus there was no call to worry about distances and then to go into self pity about “having to take care of this ‘ all by myself.”
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that at this point images came up of a story I had been told about a relative that had died from falling off a ladder.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have imagined myself falling off the ladder, where within this image I hear the sound of the head of this man I saw falling off a ladder as it thumped onto the ground with a cracking sound, thus the story and the sound of a cracking skull came up as i began to fear my own death through falling off of a ladder.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory of myself, just having gotten off the subway, as I travelled home from school, and began the two block walk home, to have come upon a man falling through the air and landing on his head on the cement sidewalk, where it all happened so fast, and that sound was so loud I gasped for air and was shocked that this man had somehow just fallen off this ladder.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have felt some guilt about this, believing this to be my fault, as i have another memory of a friend suddenly falling while i was walking along a sidewalk with her, holding her hand when she suddenly fell and hit her head on the sidewalk, and had to go and have stitches and her parents blamed me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had this physical sinking feeling as I was moving into vertigo, much like the sinking feeling I had when I experienced the man falling off the ladder onto the sidewalk on my way home from school.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I had this same sinking feeling when my friend’s parents blamed me for their daughter having fallen on the sidewalk.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself into and as fear of falling off a ladder based on memories from my past in and as my mind, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I was on a ladder that I had carefully secured myself, and climbed up many times in the last days, and had no problems being up on the ladder, thus to suddenly have vertigo was a clear indication that I had gone into my mind, as I confused the situation with ideas, opinions and beliefs, in and asemotions , feelings and thoughts, instead of remaining physically present in common sense of what was real within that moment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the ground being far away as scary, especially since I have to legs and two arms, that are perfectly capable of climbing a ladder, and two eyes with which to see what I am doing.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I notice this pattern of clenching my inner thighs, as my legs together whenever I become tense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I found myself doing this very same thing tonight driving home in my car, which is something I will have to look into.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this reaction, in and as my mind, as a seemingly distant “back chat” where i begin to pity myself, as in wanting someone there to help, or assist, even when doing this ‘job” needs only myself, as I have had others help and found this unnecessary.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I become uncertain about what I am doing, I begin to wish for help, then go into self pity about not having help, and separate myself from what I am physically doing and lose my own practical physical, here, sense of space.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tense up the moment i become uncertain, especially through my legs, where, within this, I become heavy in how i experience myself, and actually dealing with what I am doing physically becomes harder.

The moment I become uncertain, be it within what I am doing as in making a decision, or an evaluation within possibility based on the physical situation and within both go into fear, and thus separation, diminishing my common sense of reality, I stop and I breath and I bring myself back to physicality.
I commit myself to, when I have to make a decision, and become uncertain, to stop and to breath, and to go over what I have physically decided to walk in detail to stabilize myself here instead of allowing myself to separate into and as uncertainty where I sidestep into self judgement based on societal values of myself as a womanforgetting my self awareness equal and one to this actual physical world, which is to say, I remove myself from “here’ into and as belief, opinion and idea and the ensuing emotions composed of such thoughts as judgements done over a period of many years of training to believe such self definitions lacking a self honest development of myself in totality in common sense of what is real, this actual physical world.

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

Free Eqafe Interviews

Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

Documentaries  Investigate.

Day 45 Advertising consumerism is the Pied Piper

Day 45 Advertising consumerism is the Pied Piper

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize, understand that what is advertised in the media, product and  behaviors is the Pied Piper, taking children and focusing their attention onto products that do not support their health, where these children have no understanding of how these products are developed and do not understand the indoctrination through the use of emotional indoctrination through coupling fantastic super hero abilities with toys - used to pretend performance as an act of being - instead of actually developing, in common sense, the ability of the child to physically be involved with themselves and this earth and within this, to not even disclose the effects of sugar and processed foods on their health and the environment of the earth as a whole, where the parents have not even taken to the time to question what is happening to a human physical body that replaces its cells every seven years and thus asked what is it that creates the wear and tear on the human physical body.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow my children to blindly accept what is proposed within a system of profit, when I my self as the adult see people dying of cancer and other diseases and not realizing that what has been promoted ONLY is promises of cures of cancer with huge charities collecting money “for the cure” yet a cure has not come forth, where even the government states that chemo therapy does not work, where it is known that tunors are filled with pesticides, and where it is known that like cancels like, and thus the cancer cells can be treated in destroying the cell wall and thus eliminating the cancer cell with non invasive methods that do not cause harm to the healthy parts of the human physical body.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the medical industry has been built by men, where many depend on the present system to make money, and thus fear speaking up in fear of losing their income, where loss of income means loss of ability to maintain a home, and thus in order for practices that are detrimental to human development to stop, and an end put to the pyramids of hospitals on the landscape to be what is made huge instead of a landscape where ease exists, as presently - as in Boston, for instance, there are huge complexes of medical facilities as what we the human have on this earth- money must be used to support life instead of profit, as a profit based system locks people into serving what profits those in control of the interest of profits.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to  stand back and take a look at what is presented in mainstream media, the very foods that are known to not promote health, the pharmaceutical products that have not in fact cured disease, as many cities have huge hospital complexes indicating that the medical industry is enormous as it covers our cities and braodcasts itself endlessly through television ads and magazine ads where the ads cover whole pages, of which there are always quite a few in every magazine, and as who advertises pays the bills/salaries of the journalists and thus it is not in the best interest of the journalist to continue with his means of survival should questions be asked as to the efficacy of what is being advertised within the very pages/channels discourse about the world is shared.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the promotion of free will is in favor of a profit based system because not only does it give me hope in believing I have the freedom to achieve whatever I desire, it also gives a profit based system of industry the excuse to use free will to promote what is known to not support life, saying “ I can develop whatever I want , I can promote and develop detrimental products that are addictive so that I can survive in this competitive system of profit where money determines who lives and who dies and it is the free will of the people who chose to buy detrimental products that are to blame” when obviously a system of profit can control the flow of money through subsidies to make the poisonous products all that is available through affordability, where what is healthy and supportive of life is not subsidized and thus difficult for many to purchase.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that the tax money I pay supports these subsidies and thus I support detrimental products and practices indirectly even if I have salary that allows me to purchase health sustaining foods.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize and understand that a child that exists on sugar, processed sugars, is being poisoned and as long as I am a tax paying citizen, I am supporting this as these very same sweeteners are made cheap through subsidies, where the abuse extends to the environment, as it takes a lot of water to grow corn, and even the corn grown is using petrochemicals that are being flushed into the Gulf of Mexico where there are areas presently absent of sea life, a clear indication that a lack of best practice in favor of profit, a system of monoculture,  is not in fact supporting life, as what is being supported is profit, where profit must create a hierarchy to survive, a scenario of more than and less than, a scenario of followers and leaders, where the follower is no longer a follower if what is of this earth is fully disclosed, were the full development of the human would equalize men, and thus put an end to leaders and followers, and that all that has been promoted with the idea of human nature being a nature of limitation, which is in contradiction of the ability of young children to rapidly learn languages with ease, learn to play musical instruments with ease, learn to use computers - when the computers where placed in slums in India the children learned to discover and understand seemingly complex relationships in science without having a college education, clearly indicating the capacity within a young child no matter their education, thus in every way, our present system of profit where money determines who lives and who dies, is not supporting the inherent ability of our children to reach their full potential, and it is only a belief, that human nature cannot change, when our children show us what we are in fact capable of.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see, understand and realize that what is promoted in media, be it television or journalism, is promoting what supports profit and creates bling/blind followers and is thus, not the will of life, as life would not suppress the abilities clearly visible in the human child, and in fact, this system - evident in the promotion of sugar cloaked in the tantalizing idea of “free will” - uses poison, as sugar, to cause disease within the human instead of supporting best practices in health, as health is not a structure supporting profit, as health is a state of ease, as it is war that creates profit/discord/competition/division/fear.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that the friction of a survival based system is what is accepted and allowed and created by the human in separation from life,  in separation from best practices that consider what is best for all and that for detrimental practices to be what is promoted, best practices must be known and if I take the time to look within I will know where I have not been self honest as life as that which I am and within this realize that my physical self is here supporting my self, this physical that I have no awareness of, a lack promoted by this system, is greater than myself, as the physical determines the death of me and not myself.

I commit my self to realizing that the physical is greater than myself.

I commit my self to realizing that I exist because of the physical.

I commit my self to researching this physical world and understanding why best practices are not employed.

I commit my self to understanding why a poison is being promoted on television, to understand that advertising pays the salaries of the media, that the politicians can be enticed - mafia style- through the discovery of weaknesses as desires- as politicians are men brought up in a system that promotes suppression of potential, where any man, wanting to survive and suppressing self honesty within a system of competition where money determines who lives and who dies, will easily be manipulated as he is a product of suppressed potential needing outlet, where the outlets promoted are plastered all over this earth, as sex, power, money creating want, need, desire, instead of self as what self is, support by this physical world, as life able to understand from a very young age this physical world, that which is lost by the demands of a competitive, waring system of profit, here the aging and disease of our human physical bodies is showing to us our very suppressions as self as life.

I commit my self to waking up self as life through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, to bring my self back, to equalize myself with, the physical, my  human physical body, the gift of life as the physical is life, as I cannot and have never transcended death.

I  realize that advertising and consumerism is the Pied Piper taking my children away from themselves as life and into an alternate reality leading to a death  where life has never been lived and potential never fulfilled as a system of profit is a song of death disallowing transfiguration of my self into and as life, here.

Speak Self forgiveness for 21 days.