Thinking Big, Acting Small Day 795

Think big act small

This is a phrase, that I find myself repeating at the moment. I ask myself what does this mean? 

It is to utilize the what, where, why, when, and how.  All of these a basic math, as one recognizes the present, this moment, as such lends attention to the small act that is what one can do in any given moment. Such an equation of recognizing qualities of and as the things that are here as the physical, that substance one uses to move oneself as what one is here, as a physical state of being. These are the means to looking at the small as a sum of parts to then make a choice that respects what is here, as the very means of being, and to realize a focus of consideration with presence of more than only self, towards that which enables the self to exist.  I mean, why not master moving here, why not learn to move here, in this physical reality with ease? 

It is the same as mastering a musical instrument.  One must be aware of what is moving within the self, and the effects of what is created on the environment around one. If I did not maintain a balance, meaning myself moving with ease, the imbalance, as a tension, would accumulate and attention would have to leave focus on the greater whole, and attend to what was not attended to in the onset within the self, and rebalance and correct. That which accumulated and took attention away from being in awareness of more than only the self, as one cannot perform with a group if one is not listening to all parts. 

One’s language , as what one speaks as sounds, representing thoughts, reflective of the values one chooses to place on one’s tongue are never the real thing, and always about what is here, as one’e experiences. When we only listen to what one says, without placing it into the physical and practical context , do we separate ourselves from what is real, and take the picture show  ABOUT what is here, to be more than what is here? I mean, a baby is not born with language, with the ability to manipulate a tongue into words, this they learn from their environment. As is made clear in all reading research, as research in reading skills development, those who have a larger  effective vocabulary, simply have greater success. An effective vocabulary is what one tongues, having a direct relationship to the sum of the parts, as the integrity of this practical - because it is physical - reality, around us.

This would mean that we often focus more on the equations as the words people speak, than we do on the reality. Thus, words are a great means of self definition and also a great means of manipulation. Words from a distance, meaning words dictating what should be done in a moment in a given place, on this earth,  cannot possibly be in consideration of all the things that are in that place, because the presence of the parts of one given place is not possible from a distance within a consciousness locked in value judgements misusing the imagination. Such is a human being who has lost all sentiment, or sentience, because listening to the words of another, and building pictures in one’s head based on a starting point of a set of words, is a state of not being focused in reality. This is what, in all common sense, has been done with children placed in a box, away from reality, to then learn about reality, in a closed room, practicing making pictures in imagination ONLY, over and over and over again. When we repeat an action, we become that action, as this is how one learns about things, to look and to attempt to interact until one realizes the parts. Thus, to say we learn by repetition, is a lie, because we try and try again until we see, until that absorbent ability senses the parts and then practices moving them accordingly, within proper function. This is what we did without  manuals, as we learned to sense our arms and our legs and our tongue; we in essence,  sensed the parts and learned of their relationships to the whole. In this, we acted small, to think big, we acted small to become aware of the environment around us, that bigger extension of ourselves, the reality we were in a relationship with. 

The fewer words a person effectively knows, the greater the tendency towards degrees of violence and frustration. These are actions of force, which means that one does not have the vocabulary to direct one’s self effectively. One has not integrated the necessary small acts that are required to get something done effectively. In order to increase vocabulary, one must not only practice the language, as place correct sounds on the tongue, utilizing the human physical instrument effectively, one must also build considerate relationships of and towards the reality that is what enables that tongue to accept a sound to use to communicate. 

One example, from my perspective that reveals how great is the separation from considering reality, a physical reality, are the social warriors, who believe that the personality, which is a composition of values used to define a person is greater than the real story of creation as the real symbols as the physical reality that is all around us, that is here. Acts of resistance towards anything that does not perpetually substantiate that self definition which is of shadow as ideas about one’s potential is in fact, in measure, a state of resonant separation from reality.  Realize from a subtle shift in perspective, it is threatening to realize a personification of values used to define the self are potentially limited on a physical planet, if the planet should be considered before in-culturated/repeatedly practiced as absorbed from parents of the same movements , as a series of value judgements/self embraced definitions are an act in lieu of respect for what is the same as the self, as the physical. This means a shift out of reality, into self inner ideas about who and what self is and does. Here, imagination is mis-used because one is using thought in a small way, instead of thinking big, as respecting all of what one is on a physical planet, AND respecting that before creating a shadow of personification of ideas, as which qualities are potentially generating a more, which creates a system of survival as competition to constantly compare qualities as values composing a combination of ideas about the self rather than who and what the self as a physical state of being really in practical fact is. Recognizing the small , as all things, moving as always being in a relationship to the physical reality, with respect, as focus here, is acting small, and yet considering the whole. It is to act small, and to think big. 

This is why, those who have an effective vocabulary, have more effective action in this reality. An effective vocabulary, is really having mastered a larger number of words, where the words have a direct relationship to this practical reality. Personalities fighting for their justification, are a series of words that have a relationship to a busyness in self definition without regard for who and what they really, practically, physically exist within and as. It is a mis use of the imagination, it is acting in self interest, as taking what one has inflamed into what one is as a singular value, and expecting everyone to make one’s self projected value judgement larger than the real and physical creation surrounding the self as a physical state of being. Most of us fear facing that ghost in the machine, because we are products of this separation from reality, so well defined in a box, for 13 years or so, in total separation from reality. What a beautiful design to cause whole generations of people to completely lose touch with what is real, the physical. I believe it is a post script to our churches. Or even a post-script-spell to a scare-crow type of figure when the crops failed as agriculture moved into more monopolized designs. Was our initial worship that figure to scare away the crows? Was that a small movement, or force, against nature? Was that the first personification made idol with the stuff of the physical?  What was that small movement that started a time-line of events that built a tree of less dimension, as a picture show lacking focus on working with the practical living physical reality all around us? When did we forget who and what we really are? When did we forget that we are the sum of all parts, as the big, where respecting the small was the means to realizing the whole. I mean, have a look, why do we start with the abc’s and end with the SAT’s? 

It is all a math, and it is time to form in the image and likeness of what is the means of being here, which is the physical reality. This is to think big and to open up effective practice, as to act small. It is so simple- that personification of hyper inflated values as the character of personification, is the ghost in the machine that is composed of value judgements that misuse the body, creating electrical currents to perpetuate the picture show in the head, that burn up the physical body because one is not in real presence with the life that is here, that is physical. One has no real integrity. One must become like a Sherman tank tongue, and speak up about this, again and again, and again, until it is heard, until one sees this, because as human beings, that are haptic entities, we are most happy when we are aware, we are most happy when we are thinking big and acting small. 

Reading the patterns within me with hindsight Day 778

I remember patterns being recognized in my life, in terms of my behavior, over time, like a current moving through me.

One was that every month, the day or so before my period, I would lose my temper, and react to the slightest of movements in my world,  with a tempest of anger. I started to recognize this in my thirties. Once this happened, I could refine the movement of the pattern, meaning I slowly became more adept at recognizing it. I did get to the point where as it came up, I would stop it before it expressed itself in a harmful way, meaning before the tirade was leased onto someone in my world. This took time. Had I recognized such things earlier, they probably could have been addressed, and investigations into other areas where I was being the same, would have been more readily recognized. Interesting choice of words, ‘ readily’ as this means reading the patterns of my own expressions as how I move in this world, this physical world.

Another pattern is when I became sick. Meaning, it would most likely start with congested sinus and move down into my throat and into my chest, as though it had a sequence within how it moved through my body. I started to recognize this pattern too. I knew, roughly how long something would last, as I started to realize the ‘ stages’ of being of key, as being sick, in my body. 

This beings me to a realization I have had in walking the writing out of patterns of my own behavior, via the dialogues - the dia/god logues , or sequences, or patterns, of thought, as the constructs of belief, as words and pictures moving through my imagination. My imagination showing me the storied information, I composed within myself, to define myself, as direct myself, within and as me, as myself believing that I am separate from what is all around me, as the physical world, as including all that is here, as me. In walking the patterns of my story, or persona, as imaginations projected, I found a past movement that realized that same as that of which I speak. Meaning, I realized at some point in my childhood, that what I did, as how I behaved, could leave a residual ‘ resonance’ that followed me, that stayed with me, that ‘ staid’ me.  In one of the memories I brought up in writing myself out, I ran outside to sit under a tree, being aware that something was ‘ following me’ that was of ‘ shadow’ and that had a presence. I sat there under the tree, and was in frustration, and/or fear, and/or self realization, that I had created a residual imprint of my past actions/choices/movements.  AND, that this that I had been, had to MOVE THROUGH ME. Meaning, what i had chosen would move through my body. I understood in this moment, for a moment, that the information that I had stood as, as expressed, was going to move through my body. it is like a precursor, that I buried, of what would later become that reaction that was a pattern that was my own distemper within the cycle of my monthly periods. 

In process at the moment, patterns remain, some named, and yet residual, and though recognized to greater extent, as I begin to realize, as write out my patterns, some of these patterns I allow to determine what state of being I am accepting. Though smaller, and though more recognized, never less intense, yet more able to be defined with increasing clarity, just as I did with the pattern of behavior around having my period. Within this, just as memories of the past come forward, memories come forward where I realize that I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING! This means, as the very nature of myself, that the capacity to understand the forms of things and how they express and move, is right there, as me, which means that anyone can do this. 

When I want to resist, moving through this, as recognizing this, I am that which does not want to realize this, I am being that which hides the recognition of this, I am that which denies that nature than can realize the patterns as SEE FORM AND FUNCTION AND MOVEMENT AND EXPRESSION.  I am that self, within this, as my capacity, that is the stuff of and as the sensibility of myself as life, as the infamous “ eye of the needle.” That is a really cool realization. That is what and who we are, in our capacity. Everyone has this, and is this. No matter how deep or huge the wall of separation, as beliefs, ideas, opinions, in a false morality construct that ignores who and what we are as physical expressions of life, as what life would be. 

We all learn the same way, we place our presence into forms, as our bodies when we learned to walk and to talk and we sense that expression in all its dimensions, unless we construct a resonant set of value judgements, as a shield of separation from who and what we really are as life. This ‘ set of values, that I accept as embrace, is a false construct that is a math and that has no real longevity, and that ‘ moves through me’ is not myself in synch with being present and equal to the math of existence which is physical. I am not moving in synch with life. I have banked in on a false morality. And I/we know it. There is no excuse for my acceptance and allowance of and as this. None. Even within my memory, I could see that I understood that this was unacceptable. That presence as life, is in all of us, or we would not exist. 

When I first taught in a school, I remember working with this one student and moving to have her realize a form, as what I was required to impart to her, as a form of information.  I explained it, formed that form with words, one on one, with her. I remember looking at here and thinking, “ it is like she cannot take it in, or it is like she has no response- ability. Visible, she was looking right at me, and visibly she was wide-eyed and silent.  For a moment, I was there in the space looking at what was, within realizing my expectations were not what was actually happening. The movement in this child, was so slow, as for her to take in what i was saying, and to make a connection with her own experience, as her own beliefs as that same shadow world was there, caused what  have come to realize is called an interference theory.  Meaning, that her processing was very very slow. She was actually processing, which means she was ‘ learning’ yet it was at the speed of her own point of development, one that was slowed down by that which I experienced as the information that I allowed myself to be, as I ran to sit outside, next to a tree, realizing that I am created a shadow of information, that I was going to have to process because  I allowed it, and that I understood to not be in synch with that towards which I ran, as that physical tree. I was not generating in synch with life, and as an adult I was with a child, who was the same.  What is interesting here, is that parents cannot expect the schools to sort this out, as the parents are the one’s creating this, accepting this.  And, it is not the responsibility of the schools to do such, as they are, as they are in their current form, that same thing, as form perpetuating the separation.  

I find myself, once again, and yet of a different ‘ math’, ‘ composition,’  the sides of my mouth sinking down, as though I expect resistance to what I am attempting to explain. I realize that sometimes I say what needs to be said, yet I have an expectation that is not in accord with the separation, as I am not realizing the extent of the separation, as I could see and realize with this student, and with which I became overwhelmed, as there were too many layers of an emotional onion that was a wall that divided from being what was more effective, as I call it in the moment, becoming a real tree of understanding as the ability to reciprocate reality, as this living breathing, life in expression, physical reality. 

I believe I have to pay homage to the resonant separation, yet this in itself as a belief, is a distraction. All there is is to call this out by name, and it is a form, though seemingly invisible, it is here, right in front of me as the behaviors of the separation.  The power in calling things out by name, frames them into the physical living reality, which is a process of making them small and bringing forward the life that is here that is all around us. It is the process of bring life here, and managing a inflamed value system small, as down sizing a projection, or moving in a valley of smoke and mirrors, realizing the entities of separation are there, and yet do not define reality, and they only have the power we give to them, and that this reality is always right here, visible, breathing , moving, singing life. 

It is like experiences we have in watching sporting events. We realize a team is moving as a pattern, as the information practiced and hence programmed into them as a form of information.  The opposing team is getting the better of the patterned as informed team.  The informed team ( and I am using names to separate the too- because both are patterned) cannot get outside of its pattern. The viewer becomes more anymore agitated, as it recognizes that the ‘ patterned team ‘ is not seeing itself and moving into a new form, or mode.  Sometimes, a team will change up its pattern. They will change up the math of themselves and move forward in outwitting the opposing team. These moments we find exciting. Yet, this overall experience reveals ourselves to ourselves.   And, even allowing this entertainment, is revelatory of how much we live vicariously through others because we fear facing this same thing within ourselves. It is visible, in every move we make.  Thus, for parents, because we are so able to read the space of here, and we mirror that space of here, as our parents, any processing dis-orders in the child are YOU.  And yes, I see it in my own children. No reactions, as the same as I was being once a month , just before my period, are going to be what is the necessary change, to become like that sport team that manages to sense its own patterns, as reading the movements of the teams, the players, the space and design of the field as a platform, and collectively changing the very form of what is being the information driving the movements. Paying someone to help the child realize that, in a system that is a structure as a consequence of not being self responsible, is very very very expensive. Not realizing this, wanting it to go away, is also very very very expensive. Ignorance is not bliss. Hope without action is meaningless.  Faith without command is pointless. Respect for all things lends the grace of effective expression, like a mastery of a skill set.  Wanting it to magically happen is illusion, where the magic is always in the doing. And yet, this overall is very self empowering! 

One must rebuild. It means deconstruction and reconstruction. It means recognizing one’s accepted and allowed limited value system, as false morality. That one we protect, manifest as reacting to what one believes is a threat to one’s self definition, as my reactions are a protection of my false construct, towards which I imagine all manner of doom and gloom scenarios, in fear of being discovered for being less than who I really am. My reactions are the flight and fight mode, a form of resistance to myself, and as such self hate is one gets out of one's projection and makes the choice to stand here, in this living reality, that is physical. I react to threats of my limited value system as being a threat of death, so deep is my own accepted and allowed de-ception of reality. 

I am here. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understood my own deception against myself as life.

When and as I find myself becoming confused, anxious, tired, resistant, I see realize and understand that I am here, and that I am responsible for what I allow within and as myself, and as such, I slow myself down and I breath, and I forgive my separation from life, and I stand here, practicing realizing who and what I am as life here, to move equal and one with and as the physical that is me, here. 

The pressure of thin-king on the heart Day 774

What does it mean to stand as a word that is grounded and aware of itself, in relation to considering all things?

How does on have  a command as a faith in who and what one is as a starting point as what is constant and here, in all ways?

At present, I feel like I am perpetually on the verge of getting sick. As though there is a war within me, where I move into fear, as a belief that things are impossible, and yet, sense that going there is not the place to go. I look at what I am allowing and remember the practical, having more of a command in who and what I am, as a respect of the practical as a real relationship and respect of the physical being real faith.

Somehow, bringing segmented things here, as parts of realization within the patterns of forms around me, is a way to make what is seemingly metaphysical more a reality of and as how the physical works, and how separation into ego is reflected in the segments of processes and things around me. It is like bringing a story here, and making it practical and obvious, making it acceptable.

It is making what is ignored big and making the means of ignorance small. A kind of reversal, a reversing.  And it means remaining steady within this.

It is changing the image of perception, reducing what is inflamed, and deflating it, via bringing segments of recognition together as creating a ordinariness as a sequence of steps that show the illusion of conscious projections resisting the practical, and how an absence of realizing the practical is the problem that reveals the solution.

I am , in real time, procrastinating within and as my annual spring task of washing all the windows of my house. It is a simple thing. It takes a persistence as a measure that is annual, nothing more , nothing less. And yet, I find myself hesitating. In some ways this is happening in my world at the moment. 

It is a reflection as a hesitation of being and living and moving as the process of de-segmenting what is fractionalized that is the hyperbolized values that must be segmented into a practice that grounds in being focused in this reality- seeing with clear eyes, how a separation consciousness is something that can be grounded into actions and expressions that realize an intimacy that is self empowering in creating real and effective awareness of and as self direction that is sustainable and constant. 

To use parables, the residual dust on my windows, need not be made larger than life, just as I self realize the segments of recognition need not be made as separate as they may seem, as they can be brought together to make the imaginary less a separation from the practical and more in-line with an awareness of what it means to create stable and present focus on what is real, as this physical reality.  

It is really a matter of remaining in the practical, recognizing my own projections into value judgements. What appears to easy and so habituated to move into, is a separation from the practical consciousness that only the self, as me, accepted and allowed, and not what is here and what I would really want, as the tension as the focus onto a form of blame, that is myself hating myself for not having remained within who and what I am as life, which is realizing the substance of life, that is me, that is all around me here. 

That spin, of limited values - it is like it creates this vortex of and as another plain of existence, that is an inversion of myself away from being here, being present. It is, also, that I realize when I am doing this. We all realize we are doing this. Meanwhile what is real is right here, to be discovered as being equal to what creates, here.

Somehow, this all moves around as the heart, which would fit within what we have been told, as to realize what when we are present here, taking in what is here, without judgement, and with realizing presence in form and function, and resolving it, as being living solutions that move in ways that allow no harm, as taking what is good and transforming it into a change that is best for all. It is like there is an author as a dictate, pressing down from my mind, composed of a limited morality that is built of polarized values, instead of giving as I would receive, which is what is best for myself. Reminds me of hearing a really clear performance, where the presence in the notes as the space was so ‘ fulfilled’ that every relationship as connection was solid, making a sound that was really clear and tight- as I wold say it. And, with no ‘ manner’ attached. I have probably heard that once in my life - to that degree anyway! 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into resistance, to move into not seeing realizing and understanding that resistance is rejection, is denial, is protection and self defense, within and as an idea of a loss as who and what I have allowed myself to be in separation from the reality of who and what I am which is physical, as the physical is what withstands the test of time, and what is therefor creation manifest, in expression of and as life. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that that which is desired to be owned, done with slight-of-hand as paper castles of legal manpulations, that mirror the same as what I have accepted and allowed within in and as me, and which reveal that what is moved to grab as physical resources, makes plain that what is real is the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not look here, to not realize the depth of the dearth of my own accepted and allowed rejection of myself as life here, and the degree of separation into polarized values as judgements as dogma as belief, creating imaginations metaphysical, and the implications thereof that have caused harm towards life, must be reversed with awareness and practical application as that which respects all things here, to birth life on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not take back the joy of being life, meaning to be present in consideration of all things here, and to within this practice recognizing my own cognitive dissonance - self accepted and created- as I was the child that was not born with religion and political dogma, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how much the very movements of and as me, reveal to me, my own ignorance of this reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand one and equal to what is in plain sight, and what is the means of life as the physical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become in recognition of the movements within and as me, as tension and conflict, confusion and fear, to see realize and under this stand as myself moving in self interest, instead of remaining grounded within and as the fullness of life all around me that is physical and present and always in plain sight here.

When and as I find myself tensing up, within and as me, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I see realize and cross reference, in practical step by step application to realize the beliefs, ideas, and opinions as thought, pushing down on my heart, where I create a kind of vortex, of blame and spite, protection and defense, in fear of punishment as a belief in survival, to reverse this, through self forgiveness and practical application of and as real focus on what is here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself tensing up, as pressure of and as thoughts, onto my chest area, leading to and manifest as the down turning of the sides of my mouth, I stop, I breath, I assess, as investigate what I am accepting and allowing within and as me, to reform, to focus here, and reverse, as verse, within and as me as a focus, with practical applications, what is best for all, as this is what is best for life.

When and as I find myself tensing up, as creating an entity of separation, a fragment of reality, as a value judgement, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I ground myself in calm, to asses, in breath to realize in practice a con-science of and as the tech of who and what I am, an awareness of all things, to realize what is a movement of and as what is best for all, to listen to the physical, here.

When and as I find myself looking within and as me, as the ideas, beliefs and opinions I have allowed to habituate within and as me as an imagined dogma, creating by design a limitation, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand the practice of presence in this reality, as respecting all things, opening my heart to here, to become steady in expressing myself as life, as who and what I am here.

Romanticizing a relationship Day 761

It is interesting how I am drawn to look at certain things, while at the same time not seeing what is right in front of me that I am telling myself. 

What I have been focused on is processing speeds, as being able to do the math, within the patterns as words, that describe, lol de-scribe , the focus of myself.  I can’t see what is in plain sight, as I am so focused on the pictures and the story that there is not reflection within the whole, as this living reality.

I am a series of relationships, as values, that I hold, to project an idea, which is how the mind works as a web of separation from this practical and physical reality. That is just it. This point that the relationship of values, is the composition of who and what I am as a persona, just as creation is a relationship of values, and just as another as the same, is a relationship of values. Just as I have focused on the constructs of words, and just a s a soap opera is built, so is this the same in what is here, whether in division or in equality to what is real, as the physical. Therefor, I am focusing on an innate understanding of this, taking it apart, and yet not seeing the forest through the trees. On one level, what I am drawn to, is exposing what I am realizing, yet I have gotten so caught up in the idea only. This causes anxiety, as though I am juggling and the balls are getting ahead of me, because I have not remained grounded. 

I also realize that listening to others is very important, to see the patterns, as a math, as a series of relationships that build what I call a scream that is ultimately a longing to be whole. I remember being 12 and being obsessed with this. I wanted to understand the scream, so it is a theme I carry with me, that can also become a distraction, as it is a relationship between values that I have allowed myself to hold. I believe this is probably true of everyone, if they make the choice to look, as the means of separation from being focused and present in the practical is the same. In the stories of information as a series of relationships is both the longing for self and the sequences that separate the self from the real presence of self in awareness, as a focused respect of life, as the physical. 

To jump here, to remembering the death of my husband, I relive the sadness of this, remembering that a part of me thought that a great beauty was lost in his death. And, at the same time the impossibility of realizing why this was not lived. How could this come to  be extinguished? Since this was what I was projecting, this was really myself. What I projected outward was what I was seeing within myself. And to note, that the support of the people around me, after his death, were, to me, these words that did not describe the whole picture. I got to the point where I did not want any pity, and I dd not want to hear supportive statements of regret because they were in no way solving the problem. 

When I allow only the thoughts of and as ‘ there being a great beauty’ and ‘ it is impossible’ to realize this, to sort this out, there is also the voice within me, for as long as I can remember as ‘ NO, this cannot be so.”  My family made fun of this part of me, that person that did not have the answer yet often said in frustration, that what was accepted simply could not be so. I, after all these years on this planet, simply will not give up. 

I can focus on these inner billboard signs as idea, and use them like a life jacket, in a moment, yet the motivation of and as “ this cannot be so’ as the positive, and the negative sense as a form that this is impossible, and that a beauty has been lost as a superiority of and as a good, are forms that can take my focus, and distract me from being simple and normal and present in this reality. This is what and how a mind consciousness works. It is a math, as a sequence of forms as beliefs, opinions and ideas that can become a thing, better known as an idol, that distract from being present and in equality to life. Meaning, one is so present, one has no value judgements, one is practical and in focus on the life. One is in a relationship with all things, understanding their expression in form and function. It is really very simple. The mind exists within stories of good and bad, right and wrong, rise and fall, protagonist and antagonist, antecedent and consequence. Limited, narrowly framed, bound. Nothing to do with balance of sound in form and function. This demands seeing towards creation.  Look at ordering something, it is merely placing things into an order. 

In all, this persona of and as these things, is myself focusing on a lack, and not being here - really listening to this reality. To accept the physical as reality, this life, in expression, would mean I would have no fear of death, because in essence, being here, with this reality as life in expression would mean that there really is no death. It just means listening to here, moving with and as here, as the physical.

Day 721 Never Telling a Lie. Brutal Self Honesty

 Never telling a lie and smiling. Brutal Self Honesty.

This summer I asked myself what it meant to really smile. I started to pay attention to when I really smiled and when I did not.

I realized that when I could smile with ease, I could hold it, meaning I was more at ease within what I spoke, what I spelled out, what I wrapped my mouth around as words that built ideas, beliefs, and opinions, reflections, transposition of imaginations, reflections of reality etc.

I could use this to realize when I was not able to smile in such a deep way, as when I could not hold onto what I said in such a way that what i said could withstand time, or could stand eternally. I could also see more of when I was not clear within myself.  I could acknowledge when I had not done enough investigation or assessment- leading me to be okay with saying that I needed to investigate more in a given context. 

It also demanded that I listen to my own reactions within myself to a greater degree. Speaking became more of listening to myself and others, and taking care with what I said. 

Last night I was at a Toastmasters meeting. There is a section in the meeting called ‘ table topics.’ I was called up to speak and received a prompt that asked me about laughter. It asked if I laughed enough. I stopped. What i had been working on came back. I looked out at the audience and said, “ this is the perfect prompt for me!”

Standing there before a group of people, I could relive what I had placed on the side and forgotten and bring this back, remembering that I had worked on using my physical body to help me focus on what I could stand within that had a more eternal quality; that was the difference between a real smile and an automated smile.

When I speak in a way that lends an easy smile, what I am saying is more grounded and something that I need not fear proving or remembering. It is the same as never telling a lie. 

What does it mean to never tell a lie? It means to be clear, to check one’s self to see if one is not being honest. It means disclosing one’s fears, if need be. It means checking to see if I am acting in self interest, realizing that self interest in terms of ideas I have about myself as a personality, are being protected or related to what is best for myself as what and who I am as a physical being that is in human form before the cultural values I have accepted and allowed to program who and what I am - that did not direct from a starting point of considering all things as me on what is in living a form a physical reality, a physical expression of form. Never telling a lie means, stepping outside of a mis-use of my imagination into limited ideas of role play, realizing that what my first role/ ‘ measuring rule’ is towards the very form that is me, a human being on a physical plan-it. This means that whatever plans I accept and allow must respect all things here in this community of life called earth, so to realize no harm and ONLY that which supports all life.

What does this mean on a world stage? This means that any practice that does harm is unacceptable. This means that any plan that suppresses existent LIVING FORMS by any means, be it economic, or political and religious, is a dogma in separation from reality and therefor unacceptable. This means that actions that pollute water are unacceptable. This means that spaces that separate one from nature and this living reality are unacceptable and must transform in peaceable ways to and towards what respects what we are here on this earth; physical living potentialities that are life and therefor the capacity to live what is best for all. Why would we have a media that by design and nature constantly pushes and forces and drives and touts measured set bodied forms of information with musical drama and emotional rants over and over and over again? And why do we accept this ? It is all a lie, and that lie is not birthing happy and healthy people FOCUSED HERE- where one need never ever tell a lie. Thus, our degree of real joy in expression is equal to the degree of respect we give to what we are, manifest in acts that rather than deny and punish, support and direct into an understanding that gives each the opportunity to stand  in such a way that one can make decisions that do no harm to self and others. This is being focused here, on this physical world. 

It is so simple, yet in the chaos of separation, this simple state that is natural, is forgotten. The solution is to realize one’s self accepted and allowed limited math/constructs/formUla’s of gloom and doom, blame and spite, resistance and rejection as a inner construction that one projects from the living flesh of self out onto this world, allowing this to determine habits that lead to actions that are not what is self in self expression as life. What is the practice of ‘ mindfulness’ actually telling us? If we are not out thoughts than what are thoughts? Is a child born with thoughts? No. They are created. What we create, we pass down into the genes of our children. Is this why there are more and more cognitively dissonant children  one could call having attention deficits? Why is the simple so hard to realize? Because that valley of good and evil, is being projected by men, by the self!

Why are we placed into enclosed spaces to learn to express knowledge and information without practical application? Why do we have so many problems in communication with one another?  Why do we have little patience to learn something new? Why do we find it so difficult to MASTER something? Could it be that the consequence of abdicating who and what we are has lead to a fictional self imposed on the physical, and automated because just as a master automates a perfect practice, so does an imperfect practice! 

 It works the same BOTH ways! 

I can no longer fear standing up and saying this in the most practical of terms. I can no longer fear calling this out. IN calling this out, it will lose all power it has, this fictional inequality to this living reality that is the gift of life. As has been said so many times, and for many centuries, where better to hide what is real than in plain sight. What is HERE and is visible, is that proverbial eye of the needle. 

If you cannot really really smile an eternal smile, you are not being honest, you are in essence telling a lie. No one can become what is eternal within you for you. Only you can do that.

Join Desteni, deconstruct your construction of separation from reality, become living words. Save yourself, accept your SELF as life. The way to never ever have to lie again is to see the consequences of having lost the smile, to understand what imbalances lead to the loss. This is the gift of life, the opportunity to stand one and equal to and as self as life, here. 

Day 680 The process of what I allow within and as me.

In the process of self forgiveness, in begin to realize how much I determine who and what I am in a moment. Before, I would be so lost in ideas, beliefs and opinions, finding one to define who and what I am. It is like using myself within to form a measure that defines me.  I was not accepting myself as what I am here. It is in effect, following an entity of measure that has no real grounding in the physical practical reality.

Two things I have noticed in relation to this is the movement of myself within, and how this can fixate on a form through the inability of myself to use my will to take in a different measure about something. Specifically in doing number problems! In order to hold a number value within me, and multiply or subtract without the aid of a machine, took a lot of effort. With practice of holding values and doing calculations, it became easier and easier to do. I realized that I was changing what I held as me within me. I asked myself why this was so difficult in the beginning? Why did it appear to be so difficult? What was I holding onto that made the move away from that into reforming what the focus of myself was within me onto the math? I had to use all the will power I had. With practice, things began to change.

This brought up the realization that I, and only me, determines what I am within and as myself. I can allow my scattered focus on ideas, beliefs and opinions to determine what and who I am, or I can slow down and reflect what is around me as a form of information, or an object in my immediate environment, or both! Within this, I can sense what resistances are there in opposition to the willing of myself to focus on what is here. 

No one can do this or us, but ourselves. And, the information about what is practical, is always around us, as this is a physical world. When I sense an inability to focus, I can slow down, assess the resistance, and bring myself here to understand what is here, be it a belief as this action in another or a belief I hold within  myself, or in the physical components of this world here around me. I can do this with words and numbers. And it means, overall, since I am the one who controls this, that nothing can define and determine who and what I am. In the end, I am change, I am capacity, and I am here. 

The point of the destini i process is to slow down, to breath, to script out the measure of what one has accepted within, and to then self correct into what would not only gift one’s self, self direction, but also, practice realizing what actions enable self to become present in reality where it is that one gets things done. This overall, is very self empowering.

This week I attended two gatherings. In one, I heard the statement “ why was I never told this?”  If we are directing ourselves in this world, and we come across information that we react to with such a statement, can we ask ourselves what we focused on that denied us awareness of such information, and then begin to assess how we missed what was always right in front of us? What did we accept as who and what we believed ourselves to be? Where were we?

In the second gathering I described a picture of what behaviors of belief lead us to and towards, in an indirect way, based on my own experience of having lived in my own self interests without consideration towards what I was allowing and accepting as what informed/defined who and what  I am as where my focus rested.  The silence was there, more in a self assessment than a reaction. In this moment it was more of what I was within myself that I want to review openly.  Normally, I would move into fear, into uncertainty in such a silence, because of what I believed was not being validated.  I, instead, breathed, slowed way down, and looked at what I had said, to cross reference my own clarity. My goal was to make something evident as a movement and that was all. I told my story.  I asked myself, could I stand by this and give greater detail if asked. Yes. Thus, I stood within what I had said, grounded, without worrying about reactions around me.  I did not need to build a protection and defense shield, I could remain fluid and present.  

Overall, it is really cool to realize that I determine what I am within me. I can stand here, practically and decide how I am within what I express, and change. If anything, emotions and feelings are gifts to show me where I am inferior to being stable and grounded, and where I separate from being present in what can stand through a scattered self lost in a limited measure in relation to practical reality.  That shield of protection and self defense within me, is my resistance to change. I can as who and what I am, unfold myself within to accept what opens all channels of belief, and reforms into a presence that can be more constant. It is the choice to step off the roller coaster of emotional storms and to process a scattered self into a more stable expression. 

The irony is that the scattered self is a weight that lingers in its accumulation. The self that changes and assesses, reflects and self realizes, moves with more ease, the resistance being the accumulated weight of a lack of real self responsibility. One can become aware of this in the physical body, if one chooses to look. Walking the destini i process, is the means of self realization, and that self realization is the means to open that weight, reform it, and accept a self expression that moves with solutions that empower the self to be more present and self directed in this life, here. 

Day 678 Who am I Within How I Focus Myself Here?

I notice I have something accumulating in my solar plexus. I woke after clicking on a tarot card notice that brought up the card ‘ comparison.’

And I have been worried about money. 

It is this idea that I am limited in my movements based on the amount of money I have at present. And yet, when I look at this, I am moving in many ways, setting up appointments and following through, which is the way and the means of building movement that leads to an outcome.

I notice that when I begin to self doubt, I begin to compare. Then I am caught up in weighing and measuring within limited values, in fear of failure. I can look at this word and change it to be defined in supportive ways.  I see the word ‘ ail’ within this word and the word ‘ur’ , as meaning the ailment of the starting point, which is moving within limitations; limitations being value judgements as my ur-sprung point!. I am comparing myself to another form, and believing that perhaps because my form does not meet that form, there is something wrong. I must tell myself there is never one way. Being creative means finding new and/or other ways.  As it is all about building relationships that are stable. If I look at chemistry, there are many different shapes and sizes that can come together, like a puzzle and create a form that functions with ease in this world. There are many ways to fill in the gaps.  This gap filling can meet in the middle, one supporting the other, being of the same nature yet with different means. Thus I cannot really compare myself to another form and yet I can learn from another form.This really is a perfect design.

If money represents the energy I accept and allow as the division of myself within the act of comparison in a narrow focus of beliefs, I move into survival and lose attention to a starting point of inferiority within my own natural ability to assess and evaluate and investigate and create.  And, I allow a whole chain reaction of values about myself based on ideas that become a seemingly endless cycle of comparison. My relationships of trust, can be created with individuals and with small groups, where the energy/support flows in manageable ways, extending my presence through another vein of the form of the structures on this physical world. 

Within music, as within performing, there is this point where I realized that I form the sound, I take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and form the sound, realizing I can decide the ending and the starting of the notes, and how the volume of the form as the sound can express itself. I notice that my attention within making this decision,  can accelerate when I make the decision to attend to what it is that I am doing in a moment. I have the ability to be aware of what I sound in every moment. And it is the decision to do this, that then opens up that ability to assess and balance. Starting from a point of insecurity and worrying about what another has or does or thinks, does not allow myself to focus on every nuance of what it is that I myself am doing! Also, within making the decision to focus on what I am doing within the very measure of what I am creating, has a sudden nature of being able to not only assess my measure but also, the measure of another as the values they are creating. It is that this decision to focus removes the judgement and opens up discernment. There is a kind of irony here, within this, because in so many ways this is the opposite of following only!  This opens up real participation, and real participation is the means of expansion in self discovery of the qualities of being present and using a natural ability to discern and self direct in substantive ways.

When I allow myself to participate, in the manner of being self responsible, I realize my natural ability to change, that I can assess what is here, practicing myself back into what is a natural ability to change, and realizing that remaining focused here, is what allows that natural ability to change, to move. It is to say the answer is in being what I fear the most, which is being self responsible here, naming the game and changing the game within common sense of what I would want, which is what is best for me, and as a consequence in considering here, what is best for all.

In all, being here is natural, allowing comparison within an idea of one-size-fits-all is unnatural. This means that I need not hold onto any imagined values only, because in focusing on the values of what is here as the physical as a starting point,  I need not hold onto anything, and realize that within this, I have a greater discernment and a natural compassion that is gentle because it realizes that being present and assessing what is here as the physical world, is where solutions are formed and lived and this natural ability to do so is found within being present and focused, placing my creative ability within reality.

Day 613 Presence as mind only or presence as Equality to life? Which is the choice of freedom?

When I am playing in a Chamber group, I have to listen to all the parts, and the whole, like I am the parts and thew whole. Depending on where I sit, I also have to pay attention to the movement of the bow of the section leader and/or person in front of me, because the bow can also tell/show me the measure of what is being played in relation to the whole, kind of like the bow can be another metronome ( nominal meter/measure) of space and time within the context of playing. 

In so many ways, this is the same action as learning how to walk; it is sensing this world, the physical space of this actual real physical world. Our ability to see this directly informs the very ‘ measure of us, here. In all common sense, because of this, we can really only be here because this is where we are - mental simulations or not, -we can, because we are here, only be here. In the end this is us living life, respecting it.

I was at a meeting last night, and I found myself getting tense. My left leg and my chest were tensing up. It all started to hurt, as I sat in a chair and talked/interacted with the people present in body/mind in the space. 

A lot of the talk was about health.  In tandem with this talk about what we eat, was talk about being positive. One woman said that since she has taken more care of what she eats, she notices that she is more aware of her environment. I am not in her head, so I cannot know what experiences she had to justify this are true or not true. What I noticed more, was that she never really said anything, everything was about being positive, and such statements about how much she noticed her environment, without any real explanation as to what precisely that meant in any intimate detailed way. Making a statement that one is noticing their world more, only, reveals nothing about what that means. Collectively the group becomes this kind of stagnate awe, and I start to get tense, because I feel that I am having to accept something, to agree, without really knowing what is meant because it is not made clear with any sense of detail. I mean, some general statement of “ being more aware of the environment” really is not saying anything when only these words are presented. If I accept this, then what I am accepted is an idea without any real practical defining/clarification in detail. I move more into assumption or embarrassment because I have not had this experience. And yet, how do I know if i have had this or not if it is not clarified and only accepted as a statement? This is acceptance without investigation, without practice, it is a conceptual end game/name.

I notice the quiet in the group, evident in that no one asks for clarification as to what that meant in detail. Some just remain silent, some smile and place an expression of awe on the faces. Since this was a group of people involved in health, I realize that each had a desire to become healthy, and were ‘ dreaming’ of becoming healthy. I mean, this is cool to want to become more aware of one’s body, which taking the time to consider what one places in their body, is cool because it is a step in the direction of becoming more self responsible. This imagining “ becoming” healthy” only, is another way to self realize our own stagnate conceptual ability, so slow is the movement within, and yet, we learned to walk, to crawl, which meant conceptualizing in a direct way, building a structural awareness that directed in efficient and effective ways, which is our capacity, yet somehow we begin to move as molasses and get stuck in slow motion, where the motions are not bad and our capacity to inform on a another is diminished as awe as behavior, like an excitement, becomes us. In science, excited states can create chemical reactions within that we can become addicted to,  and the “ more’ in idea only, becomes a form of entertainment within, and we feel good because we have allowed this heightened inner sense to define us, but there is always a crash, and then the struggle begins. This inner polarized emotional/feeling state over practical application, which is being here, equal and one in practice of being physical, is making the within greater than the without. This is separation from the value being life, where this value is respected, thus the physical world is respected as life.

Overall, this in total shows how much one can get caught in an idea, and not question things, because the idea has become like an idol in one’s head, like an obsession that is so much as self interest that being present here, and asking questions in detail about what another means in practice  is seldom if ever walked through. It is a stagnate state of expressing, where presence here to and with the parts and the whole as the “ music” of the space of here, is not ‘ played’ with, is not cross referenced, is not made intimate. The irony is, if we opened up with one another beyond such statement of “ I am more aware of my environment”  we could all learn from looking outward in equal measure to what we are within. We are really only, most of the time, conceptualizing in our heads only, without opening up and sharing, in detail, with the environment around us. Because of this, we live outwardly statements that have no real clarification. In other words we do not really come here, we do not really bring our presence here, thus we are not really living here. Most of our lives are spent in our heads.

Meanwhile, I am getting tense, and as this is myself on a journey to life, because I am the one who has to do this, as no one can do this for me, I have to stop myself from going into judgment and slow down, breath, ground myself here. My own tension, is because I am judging, I am looking at the measure within this group, the measure of presence being focused within, via the words that are not very descriptive, and how I, as a socially accepted behavioral measure, must remain within the group as the measure of my own expression. I do speak up, at times, but I also realize to jump from statements of general ideas, to intimate details, can be too much of a sudden change of measure. What do you think moving through the eye of the needle means? It means to conceptually be fluid in being able to move in space here, in this physical world, even understanding the form and flow of our present system,. If we really look at it, we will see that it really makes no sense in terms of supporting life. And life is the value.

When I get tense, I am within my own ideas about what should be, how to bring what I believe into the measure of the moment.  If I am not aware of how a person becomes the very measure of insight as what they are, as their focus within on ideas, because the within is a measure of reality which is an idea about reality, and what is going on without, as this actual physical world in its movement and measure in detail, meaning the way the very minerals and other components exist in this space of reality, then I cannot really be aware of here, I am not really present, I cannot move in sync with the whole, just as I am when playing in a musical group. I have to be aware of the time and space length, duration, intensity, physical movement of things etc. to remain in the measure as the piece in total! So, playing in a musical group, is like how life should be lived! 

A  note - so to speak, is a unit, a measure that builds,  it is the focus here, here, here , here, as the physical world, that brings the ease, because the measure of the whole as self being this within, is what focuses self as life to become equal to the very volume of life as everything, because the physical is as much life as what is going in inside the head ONLY. When statements are made, and oggled at, without developing the understanding in detail within the whole, one is really living in mind only, so conceptually, ones moving within in a very limited con-text as mind, and is not equal to life, because life would not divide into ignoring some aspects, it would accept all aspects and move and breath and interconnect as one, each separate part moving as one, each individual expression moving as one, and for this, each part must be present, equal within to the without, as the physical.  Thus, the system of inequality on earth, is a crime against life. Each member of this orchestra of life, must be, in presence measure, listening to the whole and the parts, developing an awareness of the outer and the inner measure of this world as self within and the physical without and the systems we have accepted and allowed that are the measure of having lived within without reference to the without as the physical as being of equal import as who and what we are, where nothing is more than another because each part expresses life. A socially engineered .system of hierarchy that suppresses the presence of life within will not work, because it does not give the space and time for the presence within all things to be the response of life as what each is. Such a system cannot and will not work, no words of justification, no one sided touting will  change this, no armies bullying an idea from some centralized dictate will change this, it simply cannot be done because it is not the nature of life.  In this, we all need one another to be present in equal measure to the space without and the space within - so to speak.  This can only happen here, in this moment. Our memories must be equal to here, of equal measure in focus to here. 

Meanwhile, back to myself again. lol. It is not that looking at this, in measure, that is the problem within myself, it is where I allow myself to become upset about it, because becoming upset is not being present in the measure and expanding that measure to become a balanced within and without equality. This is me realizing what I have done, as I have not really lived life because I was the same, which was being an end game as mind only so much of my life. When I react to this emotionally. I allow this to bother me as though it is some great injustice. And being this state of being as thinking this is some great injustice, I am no different than the women who becomes an awe about some idea without taking the time to consider in practice what such a statement made by another really mans in practice.   And this is the solution, to slow down, to realize the measure of self within, and to bring focus and presence awareness to the without world as the physical - within and without - where the dis-ease is also the within presence not being aware of itself in detail within!  And within this to realize the separation because one has to correct a practice of separation, and bring this back down to earth, ground this here because one can only hear what is going on in practice, in expression, here. One has to take that presence ability to measure space , and relate to the physical and self, as this is respecting all life.

My tension is myself inferior to life and it is me rushing within to judge as a point of superiority, as in all common sense, the only thing that can be done in such a situation is to begin to walk the presence of self back into the measure of awareness of the inner beingness being focused here to the outer world as the physical. The hierarchies as the mind, are what separates and creates the existential system imposed on the physical by men, without. It is a system that forces separation and it is here because each of us has believed that what imagery we hold within is more that what allows that imagery to exist, which is the physical world. Thus, our present system cannot work, no touted words using the means of life as sound are going to make it work, it simply cannot work by design. Like the mind, in each , the signs of hierarchy into inequality  are disrupting the physical, and the outcome is as the story of the bible, one that ends in total annihilation of life. Period. 

In this situation, I cannot react, I can only journey myself back to life, to inform myself equally within to the without, the above to the below to stand as two or more in the name of life as the substance of the physical, as cross referencing the physical world in ways that do no harm, to remain stable in respect of this, yesterday, today and tomorrow, as this is giving as I would receive, which is the equation in word of equality and oneness, which is being here, listening here to reality, being respectful and gracious of the life that is me, without, walking the practice of being in equal measure to all things which is consideration of all things.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as idea only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to a measure of awareness within expressed in words, in statements, not seeing realizing and understanding that I can understand this, as it does not define me, and as such I can accept the measure here, to understand and then forgive that measure through bringing it back into practical application as what would ground in understanding here as respecting the physical world which means looking at the sound, the form, the function of the actual physical world, and the systems accepted and allowed that miimic limitation that must come to support all life as being the value, which begins with myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into ideas as mind only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge, to punish a measure of presence in another, to believe that this is separate from me, to not see, realize and understand that this is a measure, a volume of presence and that the solution within this, is to equalize in awareness of physical reality, in all the measures of space here, as length, duration, intensity, volume, quality, tempo, to become the presence of self absorbing here, this reality as being life, realizing that this is the definition of being life because life would be a structure that expresses as what the physical world is.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to statements that are not followed through in detail, and to within this, judge the statement and the person making the statement as less, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is me in another live as awareness of the measure of the expression of life in form, and the informed within and as mind.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how when I judge and become a reaction in any way, I am separating from practical application of living and  by the default as mind only, moving into energy as polarizing into values of more than and less then to justify, which is not being practical here, equal and one to the measure of life in expression, as creation as the physical world here, the way and the means of life in expression, the way and the means of creation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an energy of superiority, judging the limitations of presence locked in idea only, as being less than myself, as this is not what I would want from another for myself, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become as that which I judged, to label another as less, not seeing realizing and understanding the measure of the presence of life, and modeling/living/practicing that which grounds here, into equal consideration of all life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear change, to fear the change, the segue process in movement within into equalizing presence to the without as the physical world, as there is nothing to judge within and as this, as in every moment it is to consider all things and to take that which is good, to ground oneself here, and to within this, see, realize and understand that in every moment this is in so many ways a reciprocal action as the without reveals the very measure of myself within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have expectations, which is my within separating from the without, as ignoring the gift of myself as life to sense with the presence of myself as life, as self, the space and movement and measure of here as the physical as creation, where I stand equal and one in walking my presence as grounding myself here, with creation, within and as that which does not harm, using the means of expression, as word and deed, ensuring that my thoughts are a cross reference to here, as the physical world, respecting life and realizing within this that the separation from life as the minds of men, exists because of what has been accepted and allowed, thus, as life, it is to model life, which requires no judgement, and to be thankful that when and as I move into judgement, the energy of this, that which is unsound, becomes a movement within and as me as my human physical body being unbalanced and in a state of dis-ease, meaning lacking the ease of focus here, without judgement, as the self equal and one in full volume of and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had thoughts to and towards limited statements within and as my mind, such as “ this in incredibly ignorant” or, ‘ why does this woman not see that she is not really saying anything” or “ how the hell am I supposed to deal with this” 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into emotions of believing that the process of journeying myself into life, here, is impossible.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself, as in tensing up in my chest area and in my left leg, not wanting to look at my own self interested desires, wants and needs based on ideas, that I  have allowed to have me behave in superior ways which is not modeling, expressing living here, equal and one in measure of consideration of physical reality, as this is life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not good enough and that I am a failure within and as creating a change where others recognize themselves as life in physical formation here, when I have walked this process for some time and realize that it is a journey of resounding self back into grounding oneself here equal and one with and as the physical world, thus all I can do is practice walking into becoming equal and one with reality, which is to ground myself here, in consideration of what does no harm to the physical and as such considers all things.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire recognition through myself here, when the greatest gift is to allow another the self discovery of self as life, as this is the strongest measure of standing as life here, because it is giving as one would want to receive, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to punish myself based on having ideas about how things should move, which is a separation within from being present here, walking the practice of respect for all life as the physical, which is to walk into the moment to become the solution of considering all things and taking that which is good and does no harm here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense within and as me, I slow myself down, I breath, I ground myself here, I forgive the judgmental measure within and as me as a movement within as rejection of some quality that I make a bad because I fear it defining me, and I accept that and I look at what I want to ‘ push’ onto the situation as a movement within, where there is a sucking like a pulling to push a value as an idea out to grab the attention of others onto that which I want to validate within and as me, as this is where I project blame onto another, or spite the measure in protection of myself as mind, as belief, as idea, and I stop,, breath, forgive the thoughts, the movement of myself within that is of energy, racing, desiring, based on limited insight, not being equal to here, and I resound the parts and the whole, to become the resounding of the physical world, something that will take time, as this was not learned, though this was self that learned to crawl, to walk, as this is the way as myself as the gift of life into equality and oneness with creation, accepting all life, which means to accept the physical world, which means to bring heaven to earth, to exist in equality and oneness to and as life here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I investigate the actual physical quality of what is here, to understand practical purpose, of the physical, to realize what would be a movement that does no harm, that considers all things, to ground myself here, to begin the practice of moving through the eye-of-the-needle to equalize myself to life through cross reference, investigation of here as physical means of life and the practice thereof, to begin a journey to become a steward of this earth, this home, this that is me in another form, the physical.

When and as I find myself having the thought that this is too much, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and see realize and understand that though it may be too late for earth because the separation from self as life within and as mankind, I see , realize and understand that the only solution, no matter what, is to walk myself, to journey myself back into equality and oneness with and as life here as the real living ease that we all seek, is to ground ourselves here, equal and one to build a memory that sees directly here, equal and one with and as the physical world here.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest and left leg, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that the sense of me as life, is a presence that is so able by nature to move through the eye of the needle, as the physical, to sense form and function, just as the presence of myself can hear the parts and the whole of the music within a group, something that can develop with time, and can begin to move exponentially if one focuses here, as this is the nature of self as life, just as the nature of a child can learn to crawl and to walk, such is the greatness of the movement of life here, as men will be creative and inventive as can be seen with all the technologies that develop practices that are less abusive to this earth, such as solar power, such as eating healthy nutrient dense foods, such as allowing children to interact directly with the greatest technology that exists which is the actual real physical earth world here, all of which means that we can order this earth in ways that support all life, where no matter where our children walk, they encounter no harm, which is what we would have wanted for ourselves.

When and as I find myself having the thought that another is limited, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess the measure of belief, and I investigate the actual real physical world here, and I share my own investigations as suggestions about information that I understand, or am beginning to understand to ask the questions as to what are we not seeing realizing and understanding within a practical physical reality, as this is the carrier of ourselves here as life,

When and as I find myself losing my breath, as iN breathing without ease, as in breathing in an erratic way, I stop and I slow way down, and ground myself here, becoming silent within, forgiving  ideas, beliefs and opinions of doom and gloom, “ what if’s” such as “ this person will reject me, or will no longer ‘ like’ me” and I stop, I breath, and I realize that this cannot define me, as what define me is life here, as the physical as this is how I  exist period.