Showing posts with label who am I. Show all posts
Showing posts with label who am I. Show all posts

Thursday, March 10, 2016

What is automaticity and what is a thought?

In the education system there is something called automaticity. This is when some information, some measure about something has been ‘ owned.’ Meaning that one knows it so well, they have integrated that information.  

When a musician practices something, again and again, understanding a movement, a measure, a unit of space, that musician is automating a piece of measure, a piece of how a space is and the things used to express within space. That is practiced until it is automated, where one can ‘ zip’ file through the information so fast, they are no longer thinking about it. This can become automated, or rather , this is automation.Which means overall, we automate the information we practice.

This goes both ways, we automate what we think about. 

One thing I learned within this, within being a violinist, is that the information can be automated and if I no longer cross reference that information to check it, I lose touch with it and the information takes over. I had to learn to stand within the form, within the information as a structural guide, or the information took over and when facing something new, some new form, I would become ‘ upset’ because I was not present and using that which absorbed the information to use the information as a structure to ground me, while at the same time remaining aware. Automation is cool, because it reveals how we work, yet can be used to become a set body of information, that one has forgotten is just this, something practiced until it was understood, or accepted, and then becomes an  inner structure ABOUT reality, and something to allow processing reality, yet is never reality.

In other words, we become the measure we accept and allow. A recent example of this is a talk I had about Hillary Clinton. A woman said that she ‘ feels’ that Hilary as a woman would make a good president. Hence what is a feeling if we understand how we come to be automated with information? I ask myself, “ did that woman grow up in a feminist household” Was the ‘ information’ as the measure practiced again and again about the need for woman to be considered equal”  Did this information accumulate and become automated, and forgotten as to how this was built, to the point where the person ‘ intuits’ as a “ feeling” that we need a woman president despite any and all practical measures as to what Hillary supports or does not support in fact in reality?

Does this mean that a ‘ feeling’ is based on a set body of automated information, which is what beliefs, opinions and ideas really are?  And does this not show how the immense sensitivity of the human body, that absorbent ability that is the means of sensing space and quality and measure, and so able to take in that information, be an accumulation within as a personification of information ONLY, information running on automatic- and that information running on automatic no longer remembered to be just that, as it is so huge within us- in tandem with a lack of remembering to assess reality, or cross referencing reality, in every moment -that we become divided among ourselves, when we are the very fabric that is creation? Would this not create a waring society of personalities? Would this manifest as racism, classism, nationalism, culturalism etc. ? Do we forget then to take that which is good and does no harm, when this is what we would all want for ourselves? 

And would this reveal the real generator of the present system that controls and orders in a monopolistic way to place the separation of each of us into some form of non-destruction because this ‘ feeling’ that is information in automation has forgotten where and how the information was built? And would the so-called elite fear this body of automation that is in separation from reality and try to order it and control that lack of self understanding , and self control and self responsibility in practical cross reference of reality in every breath?

Yes.

We must forgive ourselves the trespass of a mind consciousness of information that is in separation from reality, a practice that has become automated. We are, all of us, basically moving as automated information that has forgotten reality, forgotten to cross reference reality, as the physical world.  We can begin by asking ourselves “ What is a feeling?”  “What is an emotion?”
“ What is the automated information that is me?” “ What am I generating?” What am I placing within me as the information that is me, and am I passing this information down to the next generation?” “ What is a thought?”  What is that information doing to my children?” “ Are they having to sort out what I did not sort out?” “ What legends of information am I leaving for the life that is here on this earth?”

If we want to realize out natural ability to absorb and understand, as this is what and who we are as the very gift of presence as life within us, we can begin by realizing what information we have accepted and allowed to define who and what we are and ask ourselves where that information came from, and what it is generating. We have to begin by asking ourselves where we have ignored reality in how we have automated information that we express, believing that information within -which is never the real information, as the physical - to be what defines who and what we are. A personality that could be disorder from what is real as physical states of being, on a physical world from which we absorbed knowledge and information. It is time to become practical, to cross reference reality, to assess what is real, as the world around us, and the information that is not equal and one to respecting the physical in every moment , in every breath.


I would begin by asking yourself, “ What is a thought?”

Check out DIP Lite. A free course to begin to realize how emotions and feelings are generated and to walk a process of understanding who and what we are. 


Sunday, January 31, 2016

Day 680 The process of what I allow within and as me.

In the process of self forgiveness, in begin to realize how much I determine who and what I am in a moment. Before, I would be so lost in ideas, beliefs and opinions, finding one to define who and what I am. It is like using myself within to form a measure that defines me.  I was not accepting myself as what I am here. It is in effect, following an entity of measure that has no real grounding in the physical practical reality.

Two things I have noticed in relation to this is the movement of myself within, and how this can fixate on a form through the inability of myself to use my will to take in a different measure about something. Specifically in doing number problems! In order to hold a number value within me, and multiply or subtract without the aid of a machine, took a lot of effort. With practice of holding values and doing calculations, it became easier and easier to do. I realized that I was changing what I held as me within me. I asked myself why this was so difficult in the beginning? Why did it appear to be so difficult? What was I holding onto that made the move away from that into reforming what the focus of myself was within me onto the math? I had to use all the will power I had. With practice, things began to change.

This brought up the realization that I, and only me, determines what I am within and as myself. I can allow my scattered focus on ideas, beliefs and opinions to determine what and who I am, or I can slow down and reflect what is around me as a form of information, or an object in my immediate environment, or both! Within this, I can sense what resistances are there in opposition to the willing of myself to focus on what is here. 

No one can do this or us, but ourselves. And, the information about what is practical, is always around us, as this is a physical world. When I sense an inability to focus, I can slow down, assess the resistance, and bring myself here to understand what is here, be it a belief as this action in another or a belief I hold within  myself, or in the physical components of this world here around me. I can do this with words and numbers. And it means, overall, since I am the one who controls this, that nothing can define and determine who and what I am. In the end, I am change, I am capacity, and I am here. 

The point of the destini i process is to slow down, to breath, to script out the measure of what one has accepted within, and to then self correct into what would not only gift one’s self, self direction, but also, practice realizing what actions enable self to become present in reality where it is that one gets things done. This overall, is very self empowering.

This week I attended two gatherings. In one, I heard the statement “ why was I never told this?”  If we are directing ourselves in this world, and we come across information that we react to with such a statement, can we ask ourselves what we focused on that denied us awareness of such information, and then begin to assess how we missed what was always right in front of us? What did we accept as who and what we believed ourselves to be? Where were we?

In the second gathering I described a picture of what behaviors of belief lead us to and towards, in an indirect way, based on my own experience of having lived in my own self interests without consideration towards what I was allowing and accepting as what informed/defined who and what  I am as where my focus rested.  The silence was there, more in a self assessment than a reaction. In this moment it was more of what I was within myself that I want to review openly.  Normally, I would move into fear, into uncertainty in such a silence, because of what I believed was not being validated.  I, instead, breathed, slowed way down, and looked at what I had said, to cross reference my own clarity. My goal was to make something evident as a movement and that was all. I told my story.  I asked myself, could I stand by this and give greater detail if asked. Yes. Thus, I stood within what I had said, grounded, without worrying about reactions around me.  I did not need to build a protection and defense shield, I could remain fluid and present.  

Overall, it is really cool to realize that I determine what I am within me. I can stand here, practically and decide how I am within what I express, and change. If anything, emotions and feelings are gifts to show me where I am inferior to being stable and grounded, and where I separate from being present in what can stand through a scattered self lost in a limited measure in relation to practical reality.  That shield of protection and self defense within me, is my resistance to change. I can as who and what I am, unfold myself within to accept what opens all channels of belief, and reforms into a presence that can be more constant. It is the choice to step off the roller coaster of emotional storms and to process a scattered self into a more stable expression. 


The irony is that the scattered self is a weight that lingers in its accumulation. The self that changes and assesses, reflects and self realizes, moves with more ease, the resistance being the accumulated weight of a lack of real self responsibility. One can become aware of this in the physical body, if one chooses to look. Walking the destini i process, is the means of self realization, and that self realization is the means to open that weight, reform it, and accept a self expression that moves with solutions that empower the self to be more present and self directed in this life, here. 


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day 172 Self forgiveness into separation as being unworthy


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire success, not seeing , realizing and understanding that I have separated from myself, here into a belief of success and failure.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within this separation I have accepted limited ideas that ignore myself as life, following limited presentations as what is more than and less than, accepted and allowed within an idea of superiority and infearority , lacking self responsibility as myself as life, not seeing realizing and understanding that the value is life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge something separate from me as more than or less than, instead of realizing all that is here is an expression of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself into and as competition, to compare and judge, to survive, fearing a loss should I not conform to what gets attention and validation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is such a thing as more than and less than, instead of realizing the all life is here, and if anything, a supposed “less than” is actually what is here not having been supported as life, within allowing the self perfection as life, as expression, full support and development in and as what life is, that which we all are, one and equal to and as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea that I am unworthy because I have not succeeded, seeing only this consequence without actually looking, reading what is actually physically here and working with what is here, as the very substance in and as life, to allow myself as life to express.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make a self judgement in and as being unworthy, which actually creates a value of worth within a limited belief, separating myself form as life from myself as the value of myself being life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought, as a negative judgement of self as being unworthy when speaking with another and there is a moment of discord as being a moment of seeming disagreement as signifying an inability on my part to communicate effectively, instead of standing up and looking at what is being said, in seeing the wordsspoken and understanding what is being expressed and aligning it within a principle of what is best for all, as ensuring that there exists a clear communication and direction within the principle of what is best for all and not allowing myself to go into a belief that something can be lost, such as a perception of myself as having worth in another, which is myself standing within a limited view point within a desire to fit an idea of success, and as allowing myself to exist from a starting point of being conscious judgement in fear of loss, instead of looking at the divisions of perceptive ability as life, to see what is here as the very structures that divide into fears of survival, where this ego has forgotten equality and oneness with and as life as being the value, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that, “if I could not stop my husband from killing himself, who am I to think I could teach children?” which in essence is only a self judgement and not myself actually looking at what is here, wherein such a belief, as limited label of myself would be, as what has not been understood and taught, what is stuck as what I am, like molasses, within a system that will use anything and everything to limit the expression of life to ensure its own success and control within itself being in separation from and as life, here, within a system of inequality and what I am accepting and allowing is one and the same, thus those who are on the “top” are themselves hiding from a sense of unworth as what they are, as the only worth is life in expression, thus an act that is not of what is best for all, as self, in self responsibility as life, that does not see this value as one and equal in all that is here, is the expression of a belief in not being worthy, fearing being self as life, as though one does not deserve to allow self as life to be, where judgement is the act of stagnation instead of actually looking at what is actually physically here, where what is here, this physical world is the very tool to equalize all in and as life, it is only the turning away form of beingness from what is here that is the cause of limitation and existence of separation into a more than and less than.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I deserve to be punished because one time as a child , I was so terrified of being spanked that I allowed one of my sisters to take the blame, and thus for this, I carry this shame in allowing abuse to another, when within this I had no understanding of myself as life, as this was not taught, and no understanding of my own separations into and as seeking more than and less than, as the moral code taught was in connection with limited insight to myself as life, and only taught to serve the insured survival of a few, in and as family, not seeing and understanding that what is best for self is best for all, where parents taught within limited values reflected only these limited values in absence of awareness of life being the value, and the very substance of what they are.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have back chat reminiscent of this childhood episode of shame within and as me, a judgement of myself that is not what i am, as it was a moment in the past, a moment of self abdication in and as life, in fear of punishment and survival; a moment of wanting to hide, and not considering my sister as me as life, or my mother as me as life, where even had I considered this, chances are it would not have been heard and the punishment would have happened anyway either to myself or my sister, thus to feel shame about this situation, that is a past event and cannot define me unless I accept and allow this, has no bearing/ is not to bear, as what i am here, able to breath and become equal and one to what i am, life, to become equal and one to what is best for all and express myself as life here, in clarity, looking at what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe myself undeserving because I sought to make myself more than a friend in middle school not having realized the changestaking place and instead becoming spiteful and competitive to prove myself more than one that had rejected me for another seemingly more crowd.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have believed myself to be of less worth than my high school friend who suddenly disappeared from my life, not understanding that ideas and beliefs and opinions of more than and less than were being followed as what was taught to ensure survival within a system of inequality, all acts that were judgements and not directives within realizing the value of life, one and equal as what we all are, here, as this is what has been accepted and allowed without the development of the life as what self is.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as thoughts in and as my mind, that are judgements of my own self worth and value, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is non directive and ignorant of what is actually here, answering to what is here, looking at what is actually here, realizing that nothing can be lost, as nothing defines me but myself from one moment to the next in and as breath, as I can only see what is here and expand within what is here, as the act of judgement is not an act of actually looking here and seeing how here is in expression and functions in a practical way that is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow any and all back chat of judgement as what I am, and yes I as a human define and label as a means of communication, yet this is to describe what is in this moment, to direct, and thus cannot ever be etched in stone - so to speak- unless I accept and allow this, thus I determine whether I am one and equal to life and no one else. yet this act of judging has gone on for so long, a whole structure within this has manifest by the human as a reflection of what has gone on in abdication of self as life individually, that what determines life is money being used to support a few, as supporting ideas of more than and less than in separation of the value being life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my worth based on the actions of my parents, they themselves in separation from realizing the value is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I ‘do not have enough of this, or of that” be it in relation to how I look, what I think, what I “don’t understand”, to stop such thoughts as limited and to realize that allowing these thoughts to direct myself here is not supportive of life, and is simply finger pointing in a limited belief only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have positive thoughts, where I have gone from the negative into the positive thought, usually a fantasy in and as my mind of success and the same action of label in and as unworth into worth, not seeing realizing and understanding that both are actions of label, the positive the polarity of the negative, both the very same act of separation, into more than and less than, from what is communication with and as what is actually here, equal and one with and as life, here.


I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that I am here, I am life, that this is the value, as I do not allow separation into and as thought, and the moment I begin to find back chat in and as my mind, I breath, I bring this back to self and realize that which is directive to and towards a communication of oneness and equality in and as the value being life, here.

I commit myself to not judge myself when and as I become a thought of worth and unworth, I stop and I breath, and I sense where a past event continues to define myself here, and I realize that this is myself in separation from here, as it is what is here in this moment that is what can be walked and is what is real, as the memory was a past act in fear and separation, competition and limited belief, ignorant of here.