Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 438 The fairy tale: a division of unequal measure of a physical machine of many parts.

Getting to the point where I realize that my thoughts are my separation, especially when my thoughts run rampant around a theme. I find when I am worrying about something, writing it out, helps as I place a directive series of steps that I can only walk step by step to clear the circular movement from trying to find ways to escape the fear of loss, the gloom and doom scenario, and the combat in avoiding the loss from a starting point of reacting to an idea of loss, a counter measure that is really seeking a positive outcome. What must be realized are the absolute values, that which is best for all, meaning that which supports all life. Reacting within a bubble without awareness of all consequence, which means being aware of myself as my surroundings, cannot bring a resolution. At the moment, a world system has been accepted that is not supportive of life as it flows money into absolute control mechanisms because self control at every point, as every human has been abdicated. It is simply a system that reflects each man on earth avoiding self honesty and self direction. The only solution is for each human being to become self responsible, which means considering all life, which means accepting self, accepting life.
I realize that I have been avoiding myself, as in wanting others to agree with me, which is myself not standing as what is best for all, even in the face of avoidance within looking practically at what is happening on earth.
I mean, we know that our fairy tales only show parts of reality. We know that they are a warped version of reality, and yet we continue to tell these stories to our children. And then we wonder how our children have become sex maniacs in their teen years. If we impulse parts of existence, or allow this, then our children become this, the fairy tales that romance reproductive behaviors become porn in adulthood, and this is a behavior of lack, a behavior avoiding facing reality. Even wanting to relive such “ feelings” such imaginations is an avoidance tactic. And believe me, they are impulsed onto me. The voice goes off in my head, and I have to say to myself, no, that is a fairy tale, it has no real living equal value. I remember in my twenties when I first had a “ real” boyfriend, there were times when I felt like I was acting, and I thought, “ this is it?” What is this? Yes, there were nice moments, it is not all bad, but it was so consuming and I felt tied, like I could not just go and be myself. I realize there was nothing stopping me but my belief, and when the idea, as the fairy tale was lacking in depth when confronted in reality, I ended up avoiding the other, trying to limit the amount of time spent with the “ boyfriend.” 
By my late twenties, I began to think that I was not going to get married, I could not see it happening. Then I decided that this was okay. The next thing I knew, I was pregnant. Bye bye, 60 hour work weeks. I started looking around: there were no women I could find in the industry I was in working as many hours as I worked that had children. It just did not exist. And all the while, the voice about romance and having children was running around in my mind. I really did not need this in my head, it came anyway as a natural course, so all that time spent on this was really a distraction from being where I was at the moment. Perhaps if I had just payed attention to what I was doing more, I might have developed more understanding, or had more time to investigate this world and gained a greater understanding at an earlier age. What I became and what I lived was not bad or good, per say, it was the presence of myself in awareness of the whole as I lived that might have been of more depth, which, if we all were this, might create a world , an earth that has no poverty, no pollution, no lack, as all would be more aware. So, perhaps, from the beginning, instead of having fairy tales be as dominant as they are, other aspects of life, such as more awareness of the animal kingdom might have been an input that created a human being that enjoyed the animal kingdom much more than I had as a child. Our stores and what they display ( dis-play) reveal what is paramount in what we focus on. So disney is on display more than anything else. Everything else is considered a “ speciality” and we have “ speciality” stores and sections. So the very division is on display in our malls and stores. We all know this, but the question is, are we complaining and blaming or are we standing and being responsible? Is the voice of the demos the voice of consumerist offerings, this being self abdication? These offerings are the accepted and allowed “ elite” living on the welfare of value transferred to money, pouring limited values made huge to distract from practical physical reality. They are the same as us, doing the same as us, so collectively each must become responsible, this which in the end is the only way to be, it is actually easier that abdication.
So many of the words i learned, were in relation to, in association to what was brought forward and illuminated with value, hiding the humble in the shadows, that which would have “ evened out” existence into including all of life, creating more awareness of all life on earth. So, as I used words the associations as the pictures as the stories, came up with the words because the words were learned within a limited context repeated again and again, even in the behaviors of the adults around me who were formed the same way. So the values brought forward were all that was taught, not to be rejected outright, but out of balance, as in really understanding all of physical existence, being aware of it. How many of us are separated from out immediate environments to the point where we fear a spider? I mean a spider is part of the environment, and there is plenty of time for a child to become aware of this world right where they are, in a yard or in a park. 
So, when I avoid standing here, I have to let go of the values etched in my memory, just let them go, they are here. And when I face this same behavior in others, I must become humble and realize the separation, the missing parts of the story and realize that the avoidance is a dance around a void, a lack of the whole story being told, that which is sought, this evenness with physical reality. So the pictures and words as thoughts in and as my mind are the separations that are not aligned with here, with life, with interacting in common sense, valuing all that exists. My mind is a recording of what is not equal to life, it is the script of my own accepted and allowed avoidance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to avoid being here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear standing equal and one to and as my words.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that what is in and as my mind are parts of a story unequal to here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand in every breath that what is in and as my mind is my separation from equal and one acceptance of physical reality here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that is of my mind i can forgive, let go, and bring myself here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that  there is not need for righteousness, as the physical reality is here, and with careful investigation, what is here can be understood, as this world, as this form as life, which can only function in-formation which is visible, which is mechanical - to believe that I must prove something is unnecessary as all that another and myself need do is investigate what is actually here, where the forces that interact are able to be seen, thus saying something cannot be understood is a withholding of common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that just as a computer, as the machines we humans create, these machines are compositions of many parts, meaning the machines we create are not in and as themselves monopolistic, thus in direct opposition to how forms work, what is touted is a monoculture in direct opposition to physical reality of creations by men that are of many parts working together.

Thus, when and as I find myself in and as my mind, becoming a singular story, idea, belief, I stop and I breath, and I touch the physical world and I breath, and I bring myself here, I let go and forgive the idea in and as my mind, realizing it is a web of associations pertaining to limited values that distract me from being equal and one to here.
When and as I feel a feeling or emotion coming up from my solar plexus I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that this is myself going into the values learned as the past and the experiences of gain and loss in relation to limited values creating the reaction in accordance with imagination as memory unequal to here.
When and as I find myself in and as my mind, I stop and I breath, and I do not allow the veil as the halo of memory, of separation to define me here, I stop and I breath and I forgive this separation, I realize this is myself avoiding here, and within this allowing myself to become uncertain of here, of physical existence.
When and as I become uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I forgive this separation back to standing equal and one to physical reality within and as the principle of what is best for all, as this is the real support, the total story of life, where nothing can be lost and life is lived within and as equal value as life.
When and as I find myself existing as a dialogue as mind, I stop and I breath, and I do not allow the ideas as mind to define me, I do not allow the memories to define me, I breath and I bring myself here, i do not allow myself to become disproportionate to life, here, I breath and i stand equal and one here, considering all life as the physical, to realize all parts of the form of life as earth, as the mechanisms that are formed are of many parts coming together.
The solution: Equal Life Foundation. Living Income Guarantee

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