Friday, October 11, 2013

Day 444 Indolent imagination

I looked at the word ”indolent” today, and when I looked passed the present meaning to the latin root it hit a chord in me, one of fear, meaning where I to not pull myself together and stand. "In" means “not” and “dolere”  means “ suffer or give pain” So, to be idle is the choice to not “ suffer or give pain.” 

In a system of inequality, as what presently exists, with resource value transferred to money and then handed out based on values that ignore physical reality, a crime against life, especially in a system of growing automation and a physical world of freely given resources that have been developed by many many generations of men, and that same system that has practices that are barbaric in no longer being known to be supportive or sustainable, that have become an elephant in the room that no one dares stand against because in myopic self interest and the indolence of entertainment as television and media all any human point can think of is fearing to lose their money, their paycheck. Even when the practices used are not what is best, that paycheck is more important than the practice. When it must be realized that the way money is used must change, it is not money that is evil, it is how money moves that is evil. I mean, I looked at coal extraction from federal lands, the royalties are a difference of millions to billions in terms of what the sales are of coal, and, by the way, the coal extraction in 2012 jumped a lot. Interesting that we have coal, we allow private companies to sell it abroad and the amount in royalty is minuscule in comparison to sales. Oh, but we are pushing tar sane extraction and pipes that spill. This all seems that the resources of our land are for the profit of a few, even when they are supposedly “ federal lands.” Looks like Congress is being paid in all manner of ways not only despite shut downs, but also despite those unable to feed themselves properly because the minimum wage is not a living wage. Congress is doing business as usual, but then so are we if we prefer paychecks before standing up and changing the system. Are we no different. Would you take advantage of indolent people if you could, for money? You would. The problem is that there are children in this country that lack in so many ways and this is unacceptable.

The CON-sequences we are allowing collectively are going to come home to us, Then it will be too late to do something. The drones will be overhead. I mean, they are to protect those who live in “ white houses” big ones. You are the competition. Collectively, we have to wake up. In this system of not wanting to “ hurt someone’s feelings” we are causing suffering. Feelings are where we are idle. 

Myself, I realize I am the same, I don’t want to face speaking up about how the mind works. I want to be nice about it. There really is no “ nice” about it, a cup is a cup. Being straight about something is being focused, looking at physical consequence. It is like facing someone who is hiding, and has hidden their head in the sand for a very long time, so much so that a real tangible form is unbearable in its intensity compared to the substance-less pictures of the mind. I mean, is this not the problem with porn for eample. The pictures ignite the body chemistry, so when real physical intimacy happens it is a let down because it is not that addicted to"quick fix". Unfortunately, that chemical dopamine fix is not self living in full potential. I guess Congress has you right where they want you. Congress is like a collection of spiders weaving a web, and we are all caught in its net.

Back to myself, again.

When I am in front of a person actually talking, I begin to move and use common sense. But, when I THINK about doing this, I falter, I become idle, indolent. I imagine causing upset. Then I begin to look like that ostrich with my head in the sand.

Self forgiveness thought.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I am going to cause harm if I stand up and be direct about how the mind works.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear upsetting another's feelings and emotions, thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I might upset someone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have a thought that I might upset another, I am existing in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that having another look outside of the mind into realizing how the mind functions is going to " hurt" them and make them suffer, when all that is going to suffer is the state of ignorance accepted and allowed,  and that, within this, the physical is able to be understood so all one need do is speak up in common sense of what physically exists here on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe  as an idea in and as my mind that in speaking and communicating about the actual physical world can cause harm to another.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand in the moment that when I get this heavy feeling surrounding my head and shoulders that I am becoming a protection and defense in fear of upsetting another instead of remaining in and as breath and using myself common sense, which means  remaining within the script of physical reality.

When and as I find myself going into a thought that i am going to cause harm within saying a " cup is a cup" I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I place myself here.
When and as I have the thought that I am going to cause harm should i speak up about the physical world, in common sense of form and function, I stop and I breath, and I do not allow myself to imagine a future as this is what this is doing in fact, based on past experiences where I have judged myself to have failed because in facing feelings and speaking up, the horse taken to the water did not want to drink, And within this I blamed myself, which is myself as blame in separation from common sense.
When and as I become the thought of causing harm, based on an idea of politeness before naming a thing for what it is, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that even had I not been clear, I can always breath, slow down look at what i have said and forgive any and all indolence in standing up in common sense of a physical world that functions in practical ways able to be understood as life would give understanding absolutely, otherwise life could not exist.

No comments:

Post a Comment