Feeling and Structure and walking a dog. Day 785

I notice that there appears to me to be two sides happening. Somehow they are within utilization of an inherent absorbent ability and utilizing structure. 

Somehow, the gap, must come together between the two as I see it at the moment. It appears to me that there are two schools, so-to-speak, of moving from sensing as discovering,  within not bringing in too much structure, and utilizing structure as a means to an end.  In reality, it is both, it is a balance and interchange within both. Too little structure, and one spends too much time in finding self direction. Too much structure being given, as a form, to only follow, and one misses a sense of self within having perspective within that structure, which can in itself, cause a separation, and fear, as insecurity, because one loses grounding in a way. It somehow ties into the fact that we learn more from a sum of parts, the subject and the object, cross referencing within the two, that must come to a balance, where the processing between both moves with greater awareness. After all, separation is caused through limitation.

I find when I have back chat in competition, as comparing myself to another, or from a point of fearing to lose something, which means I want to win something, I am in a point of fear, and hence self interest, forgetting who and what I am here. What  I find supports me, is to realize that I have this world around me, the physical, and myself, and the group, mirroring the same as me, working through processes that are similar to my own.  Meaning, there remains this idea that I have to do this myself, which is a truth, and yet, it must also, must need, the world around me, the people, the plants, the animals, this as a structural awareness.  

This balance between listening, as ordering, as listing, form and function, movement and expression, be it of a considerate focus of all things, or be it, within a state of separation, as self interest, always with a quality of and as a “rush” being present.  When I have back chat in competition, the comparisons come up, and I am within ordering in self interest and not considering all things, where solutions are always the way forward. It is seeing the thoughts and what is in-between the thoughts, it is always, being grounded in realizing I am, and that I-am is physical. Within things that have happened in my life, what remains is myself here. What has real longevity, is the I am. What is around me, is what allows the I am. This is in a way, the same as god is.  Some people have said to me. “ that is Buddism.”  Yet, Christ said the same thing.  This is the same as the story of the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale, as the old woman in the woods, is the princess in another life, thus we are all the same, life in expression, each an expression in another life. We are here. I am.  Have we ever asked how that old woman came to the end of her life living in those woods? What shaped and formed her. I mean, we tend to choose families and cultures similar to our own, because we understand that our surroundings influence our children! 

The power to call things by their name, is being the living word. This is also buried, or made evident in our fairy tales. 

In this, a fear of making a mistake, is an illusion, and that same ability to move from sensing a form, to see structure, is also realizing the structure, as the structure is the means to the end, just as the physical is the means to the end, as though both are the same. Creativity, as I see it at this point, is realizing change can happen, within realizing to always  choose what does no harm. 

It is the realization that too much water is detrimental, as is too little, there must be a balance. This same realization is used to divide and conquer, in, for example, our health systems, that use imbalance to make a profit before bringing forward health from creating balance in the basic needs of the physical to remain in balance and function. Instead, imbalance, is created, to force needs that then must be balanced out. Yet, this is done in a way to perpetuate the need for pills, that perpetual payment, where one’s labor moves towards purchasing that pill, for the rest of one's life, where that pill is not concerned with creating stability, but maintaining an instability to not only direct labor, but also, to create a perpetual state of imbalance, because if one discovered this overall, it would no longer have the power to influence one, and one would begin to discover real support. This means, as the distraction is so ubiquitous, that it is a busy work to maintain the deception, because the potential to understand is more natural. It is like a perpetual static. This is much like the back chat within me, when I move into competition, manifest as back chat of a projection of a more and a state of being less.  And it is the same, in that what is here, as I am, is the physical, which moves in creative ways, as the principle of and as to do no harm, which is to consider all things. 

I have two ears and one mouth, which means that it is to listen more than speak.  Since I have back chat, at times, it means to listen even more, than speak, because of my own separations and the practice of listening to here, to the I am, to realizing what is in between the thoughts, as the thoughts are colored with value judgements and are not that kind of reflection of what is here, as those moments, when I am interrupted and  see through the veil of my own spin in value judgements, based on the past, based on the acceptance and allowance of a culture that is based on an environment and that experience made a construct or structure to guide one, that forgot from whence it came, as the physical world.  It is , as I see it, still a stagnation into fearing to really feel.  And yet, real joy would be to really feel. Within this, not fearing to make mistakes, and that includes using past mistakes to justify where I am at at present within bringing myself back into equality and oneness in respect of and as what and who I am as a physical state of being, that means living practical awareness, here.  Because, creation is practical, which is really cool, and so simple. What is in plain sight is simple, it is a chaos that separates it.

Yesterday, I was asked to go and to talk with some people that had experienced a bad situation regarding a dog belonging to someone I know. I knew that I was going to have to face their venting, and I realized it could not define me, and that it was to apologize, and lend my regards in understanding why they were angry. I hesitated when it came to do this, as I did not want to face that metaphysical state of blame and anger coming at me.  This is my past, and it is a fear of loss, a fear of being defined at the values within the venting. I have to tell myself that I have faced such and not reacted, and even done this, before I started to walk this process, in quite natural ways and means. Still, there is some fear of this, a fear of facing this event. it is a pattern of not wanting to face this, and becoming angry. Yet, what would I want if the tides were turned and I was them? Where I am at at the moment, is to realize there are only solutions, where punishment is not being and living a structural means of bringing forth a presence that lives not having a repeat of the problem.  Thus, even though I realize this on the one hand, there remains this fear of facing this chaos, because it will be loaded with so many things - or so I believe. This is more than likely, yet, not necessarily so. There may come more compassion than I am expecting.  Which, overall, I have been surprised with before. And, lol, expected other times, only to find I face a lot of anger and venting!

Living solutions, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions, means taking responsibility, no matter what. It means investigating until one understands enough. Fear is, in many ways, not having investigated something enough. It means not having really looked and considered more than one’s immediate survival needs. It is recognizable in being caught in a construct of the lesser evil, which causes a spin of weighing values, which is not being in that space between thoughts, where one realizes the existent structure and the creation in expression, at the same time, feeling the creative ability inherent in the overall design, to change and choose what does no harm, and respects all things. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself t move into competition, as living a comparison within values, in self interest, not being realizing and understanding that the I am that is me, is within a limited idea, belief, or opinion, in fear of survival, and forgetful of the I am, that is me, that is here, that is the physical creation in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project outside of me that there is a lack within me, that I must defend, which is myself not being present, equal and one, feeling here, being in the simple joy of realizing what is here, is me, in another life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself toot see, realize and understand, what it means to be strong, for example, as I have lived this , within and as other areas of my life, where i was steady, and stable, and directive, thus, as life, in feeling here, this is actually a more natural state of being, than allowing back chats within and as me, of comparison, imagining success or worst-case-scenarios.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear, being myself, feeling here.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear feeling, intros instance, the anger and venting of another, as though this can define me, as though this is impossible to deal with, when it is a consequence of other actions of lack, where the only solution is to realize directive structures that lend ease and a absence of a fear of feeling, as in this case it is a dog that has had little social interaction opportunities with other dogs. thus, the solution is here, and can be walked, and the anger from those who suffered the consequences of the lack in the dog, within the present system, will and may come towards me, as from one perspective, they are the victims of this lack.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I react within and as protection and defense, within and as what is here, is to realize actions of complete responsibility to and towards what is best for all, as life, as living solutions, realizing that there are no problems only solutions, here, and to see, realize and understand that there must be more awareness structurally of and as the practical applications that have not been lived, in relation to this dog, that are the solution.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that just as it is well known in the research in reading development, most criminals are those who have no means of communication, that in itself causes a consequence of greater frustration and inability to communicate effectively, building a seed of dissonance and disconnect, where the inability to communicate, causes greater and greater loss of opportunity, leading to more ineffective behaviors in social situations, a self perpetuating storm of dis-clarity, and aggressive behaviors,  where the real solution is to rebuild effective structures of  a reciprocal nature as being able to simultaneously call things by name, and respect what is here as the very structure and expression of the physical, and the creative nature of this, as the ability to change, within and as realizing the only choice is to do no harm, as to respect all things, here. 

When and as I find myself moving into fear, into believing it is too much to face the storm, of and as not moving in and as the realization in practical action, in every moment, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions, I stop, and i breath, and I slow myself down, and I recognize my own pattern of fear, as resistance, as feeling overwhelmed, as fearing to be defined, of believing I am responsible - as believing I must problem solve, or have all the answers, etc, - I stop and I breath, as I see realize and understand that this idea that I am responsible, is an idea, that I then self blame, becoming a perpetual state of not feeling worthy, a separation within itself, and also the answer, as in some ways we all realize we can problem solve, as we are the perfect forms to do so,  thus, it is to stop hating myself and to become patient and calm, realizing the solutions are always here, even if colored with a past of a consciousness of separation from realizing self as life, here, as being physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i should have recognized this before it happened, as this dog has been kept in  a yard, after being used to breed other dogs and as such having lived in a kennel, without any real socialization, and there for,  being life, wanting to interact with other dogs and yet fearing them at the same time, thus, there was not a recognition that the dog needed some socialization, which was lacking, and somehow it was my responsibility to have prevented what happened from happening, yet it is not my dog, and I cannot physically be in many places at once, therefor, and because of where I am , in this moment, it is to face the storm and realize the solutions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to in some ways, trust myself, within and as seeing realizing and understanding that I cam capable to assessing, as investigating, as in taking the time to understand, and within this, need not move into anxiety, fearing to be labeled, or defined as not being enough, or moving into self blame, based on expectations, within and as some idea, and instead to realize this as a past pattern, and to embrace it, forgive it, redirect it, within and as making as accepting a natural ability to assess and understand, as gather information, to realize there are no problems only solutions in living actions as who and what I am as a physical state of being as life in expression, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, to not within this, slow down, and breath, and ground myself here, in calm, giving as I would receive, as not reacting to emotional outflows, as the story of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, and to within this, give as lend understanding, assessing and realizing solutions,  as standing equal and one to physical creation, as creation would be and do, as this is being creative here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand,  practical awareness, as respect of the physical as who and what i am is always here, and as such the potential to always from solutions, within an as there are no problems,  is always here, and within this, to realize consequence within not realizing this sound principle, is a process, thus, with each breath, with each step, it is to birth life fro the physical, to realize the principle of oneness and equality as the golden rule, in practical action, as to give as one would receive, here.

When and as I find myself becoming overwhelmed and spinning into anxiety, I stop, I slow down, and I breath, and I take the space to respect here, to listen more than I speak, to hear more than wanting to speak up, to practice grounding and referencing here, as assessing what is here, seeing realizing and understanding the storms of energy, as separation, into a catch 22, or a more than and a less than, of fear of loss and desire for gain in self interest as belief, opinion and idea, to embrace this, forgive and to listen to what is here, to realize that it is natural to assess what is here,  and anxiety is more a protection and defense, as a justification which is a fear of loss,, instead of respecting what is here as life as the practical as the physical reality , the living physical reality around me, to practice when and as I move into taking things personally, fearing to be defined, as them, to then to forgive and to follow through into realizing what is best for all, here. 

lol, When and as I find myself reacting, as becoming frustrated, or resistant, to slow down and breath, to listen, to assess, to  cross reference my own back chat, and the tension within my physical body, to realize that just as a unsocialized dog does not know how to act with other dogs, so am I, within and as being  past as a practice of fear, spinning into anxiety, as a lack of processing, as a lack of respect of the practical, where the protection and defense, is in a way, a non - looking here at the practical,  as being in respect of creation, as all cultures are products of the environment, and to realize that I am physical, and that I can assess, real-eyes, feel, as life here, and enjoy, here,  in the same way, I have actually socialized a dog, who did not know, as never had the opportunity, to interact with other dogs , for example, on a walk, and as such, have lived that change, that change that came with the opportunity, and as such, it is a process, thus, when and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down,  and I forgive  personalities from the past that may arise, and I look here,  to build effective communication with here, as this reality as all things, that are me in another life, to practice realigning into equality and oneness with life, that is physical and in plain sight/site here. 

When and as I find myself facing a situation where I experience what i call ‘ venting’ I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I assess, check myself,  listen , realize to not take this personally, and ground myself,  as check to ensure  I am calm,  to realize that I can assess problems, and move with them into realizing there are no problems and only solutions here.

The FUNdamentals Day 736

The FUNdamentals

I am physical, a human being. I am this foundation, this FUNdament. The basis of who and what I am is physical. This is what is real and what I see every day, this is what is the fundamental foundation of who and what I am.

This is what i am before any religion or political party, or nation, or culture defines who and what I am.  ThIs is what I am before I know my name. This is what I focus on before I can speak. This is what I am, as the cells building in the womb, before I can re-cognize myself. This is what I am before a thought, or a feeling, as I must be this fundamentally before I can sense this world, that which I am as I am composed of the same things. This is the means of my expression and my opportunity to become equal and one with creation. If I move, or direct myself here, as this physical earth, without doing the math of here, without considering all things, what am I regarding, as what else is there to regard other than all things that are here that are me, the same as me, as being of the same means of expression as the physical as me? 

What I  move in as a self interest of little practice in considering my actions based on some idea that exists only within me that has not cross referenced this reality,  which becomes by design a bias to here, as what I am as thought, feelings and emotions, generated within a mind consciousness  as ideas, beliefs and opinions, stepping outside of a natural ability to regard, as realizing the consequences of my actions to all things, as what is around me is what is natural and therefor pure and simple.  When I lack a consideration of this world, I accept a belief that I am more than what is me, around me and instead I move as something I have allowed to generate within as an entity that has no real grounded stability to this creation, as this physical reality.  That within is a bias, a moving entity of limited pictures, of limited insight, racing and spinning in its false narrative, its composition of charged information, like a ghost that can only be of my past, that when I allow to be/define the soul/sole directive of me, is something that I project and thus appear to race towards thereby only compounding the separation of me, from remembering me to who and what I am as a physical being. It is a bubble of my own creation through acceptance and allowance, generated by me, allowed through my own will, to determine my actions, all in separation from being here, having fun within the fundamentals, the physical. Within this, realizing the smallest of things is the means to the end, it is to become the master of myself, here, remembering the physical as fundamental to who and what I am here.

What is the gap between my natural common sense and the shift into a mind consciousness that is a rush for a false narrative that is at- tense-tion that can be felt by me as the physical through my physical body as the muscles that are me here, a composition of cells filled with a composition of specified cells that are surrounded by water that as a substance can feel the slightest of pressures, as even those thoughts, emotions and feelings moving through me, of changed energy, that acts in a racing movement, towards some idea of a more, based on a past as idea that is in essence a bias to this practical and physical opportunity to be and express as life, as a physical form. As this, the entity as me, as a soul, a story,  if looked upon is filled with value judgements as culture, as this over all accepted and allowed disregard for life that becomes a compound that is of energy, rigged through acceptance of false narratives/frameworks/scaffolds of information, composed of ideas within me, embedded in the flesh as the very hard-drive as me, that is the ultimate separation causing a rape of this physical means of expression, as a transfiguration that lacks grace and respect and gentle transformation of myself, as this graceful transformation is a birth into becoming the master of what it means to build a life of balance and gracefulness that is a fluid, constant, connected movement that must use considering all things, moving moment to moment that will not move as resistance in actions, as it must move in acceptance of all things, embracing  the physical the real narrative of awareness.  

I am the director of my will, what I focus upon is what I accept, thus when a narrow focus is what I allow to define me, through ignorance of remembering myself to all things, I can blame no one but me, to do so is to spite what and who I am, as the physical which is the fundamental of me here. 

The trees are me, the oceans, the salt in the oceans, the soils, the substance of the soils, what I allow, as perspective, of these building blocks that are the same as me, is what determines a composition of this physical world, a world that exists as me, as the collective forms that are here, that is this reality, that is a technology unsurpassed except by an idea of playing god. An idea that is in itself, as a starting point, a false take on reality, as the physical is equal in all manifested creation, as this is the fundamental value as the very means of expression, thus no one point can be more than another.  Thus a construction that forces change, without  agreement from a starting point of awareness of all function and means, as the physical, is already an im(age/time)-position of a false and projected purpose and therefor a soul ( that is a sole purpose) instead of an equal and one connection with a pure/CURE-ated awareness of being in tune with the means of who and what I am as the physical. This is why, the false narrative, all charged up and spinning, is composed of limited ideas, and becomes a bias on reality, that swirls like a running train, spiraling into a bubble, that separates one’s presence from what is fundamental and what was always here, as a self in focus of the physical world here at birth. This physical world, being what is real, as a focus here, on this, is to respect and remember all things as who and what I am/will as the physical world. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a mind consciousness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a con-science of and as ideas, beliefs and opinions, to mind who and what I am, as I follow my own mis-use of creation, composed of limitations, as non-recognition of all things that are me as the physical, as this earth, that is the same as my heart, this hearth, as the very sounds as the letters reflect.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that gap between myself as equal and one as the physical and the narrow framework of belief, idea and opinion as the mind, so visible within and as the very actions, as deeds I accept to direct me, here  in this physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to move within and as the fundamentals of who and what I am here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not play in tune with the physical, to move in common sense of what and who I am, that is the same as me, and all around me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to move with regard to life, as that which is all around me and the same as me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and breath, to step out of a mind consciousness composed of value judgements made larger than the practical measure of this physical reality, that is the greatest technology as it is the means of life, that move organically through a seed of information, curled up into a ball, that then is a blueprint of expansion, as giving the means to expression and transformation, as flexibility with every breath, with every cross reference, as feeling this actual real physical movement of and as life, as this earth, that is of the same fundamental building blocks as me, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that mis-takes, are simply a cognitive dissonance from a respect of all things as this reality, as this physical reality that is of the same as me, equal and one, as the means of understanding and moving in awareness of the fundamentals, remembering the starting point of movement, as breath, as the means to sense here, as in considering all things, as all things are me, here, as the fundamental composition of the building blocks of life, is the same in all the physical -this verified means that is constant and stable around us, especially when self directed as what is the fundamental  essence of all things as expression, as creation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to exist as the real library, the real LIBeration AIRy as the very means of sensing here, as breath, to air-in as breath-in a reflection, as a respect, as a reciprocity to what is me, as the very same as me, as the fundamental building blocks of the physical, to embrace and respect, and become sELF hONEst to and as what is the same as me, as this physical world, as in breath, I slow down and reMEMBER who and what I am, to realize the sole purpose as the means of creation as the fundamental building blocks of this life that is creation in manifestation here as physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the patterns of my separation as thoughts, composed of comparison, a form of judgement with a charge, when moving as an imagination within and as me, a secret mind, as a consciousness built of ideas about who and what I am, that I hide, to not show the shame, the sham of me, as myself not allowing and accepting myself to realize the fundamental of me as the physical, where all things are me in another life here, thus, the competition, of me, as thoughts and back chats and chatter in and as my mind, is of my own acceptance and allowance, and a decomposed self of limited ideas, that spin me out of self control as who and what I am as life, a distraction of mis-information that separates me from this living reality, as the physical, the consequence of this visible in the loss of presence to here, the awareness of space here, and thus the loss of a natural ability to sense here, and self direct here, to the point where I lose a self directive capacity to walk on this ground, on this earth, as I become the mess- age that is a false narrative of belief, opinions and ideas, within and as me that is a separation from respect and regard for who and what I am, as I am a me-ssage, an organic capacity to sound a respect and insight- as an expanding awareness - of this reality, of this physical world, to work in union, in tune with, in sight-essence of, as the physical here as this is the gift ( giving foot to, as stepping here in respect and awareness) of life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to entertain myself with what-if’s and fear of loss stories of information that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus upon within and as me as idea, to seed a story spinning the self of and as me, out of control of who and what I am, as the fundamental that is me, and equal to me, as who and what I am as life, as breath, as the means of becoming a master of self, realizing that this physical reality, as all things here of this earth, is me, and the means of my expression, able to move in ways that do no harm, and by design, as breath, to consider all things, taking that which is good as that which realizes there are no problem only solution here, which means grounding myself, my focus, to the practical, that being the use of a natural ability to common sense this earth, this hearth, this with heart of me, as who and what I fundamentally am as life as the physical.

When and as I find myself allowing and accepting confusion, I stop, and I breath and I slow myself down, and I adapt to time, realizing nothing can define who and what I am, as I have endless patience, as who and what I am, to realize in every breath, a common sense of here, to change and adapt as nothing can be lost, but within my imagination, as life is fundamentally here, as creation, the potential to realize the only choice is equality and oneness with who and what I am as the physical manifest as this earth, here.

When and as I find myself becoming confused I see realize and understand that I am moving from common sense into a mind consciousness of my own acceptance and allowance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to realize myself self worth as life, to respect what is the same in me, that is in all things, as the fundamental  symbiotic nature of the physical of this earth, where all things are of the same essence of and as life, as the very substance of the  physical.

When and as I find myself exiting in conflict, as tension, as what I attend to, as focus upon, I stop and I breath, and I adapt, seeing realizing and understanding there is no competition, as in space and time, I am of the same substance, as all things, and  as this, can create, to experience life information, this there is no rush as an idea of a more is an illusion, as I am here, in expression as self directed movement of and as the means of life, in essence.

When and a s i find myself fearing a loss of something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am one and equal with all things, as I am the same, which is life, and that the fundamentals of who and what I am is the means to experience all things, thus what I am in a moment here, can with careful practice realize expression, of and as life, being grateful for the life around me that is me, to ground myself here.

When and as I find myself reacting, as resistance, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand what I accept as attend to, as allow a self interest as idea within me, as a mind consciousness to have attention onto, as forcing attention onto, to see my own self interest, as a belief in special interests of and as me,  I stop and I breath and I slow myself to, to sense my physical body, to realize the information that I have accepted and allowed to become me, within a belief that what I believe is a more, I stop and i breath, and I slow myself down, to see realize and understand the practical, living moment to moment, to see the consequence of time and space here, within and without, above and below, to become a practice of being grounded, here, to realize the me-sage of experience, to become an expression of life as a common sense of reality, as the practice of self worth equal and one to the fundamentals of what is here, this earth, this hearth, this heart. 

When and as I find myself moving into righteousness, as a tension, as a belief of a more or a holding onto within fear of loss, as a false narrative of self interest, n and as a secret mind of self hate, based on a morality of fear, as a lack of insight into accepting my own self worth of and as life, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I read/reed the sound of common sense, as a respect to the practical, living solutions as saluting this life, this physical world as this is respecting all things, as all things are equal and one as me, fundamentally physically the same, as this is the real starting point of life in expression, withstanding the test of time, as this remains constant, under the many false narratives of ideas, beliefs and opinions as ‘ isms’ that have reigned down, as knowledge and information, as what is real, is here, right in front of me as the space of the constant physical cycle of life, organic and expressice, adaptable and creating, as the physical is creation in-formation.

Day 585 Believing that I Have to Say Something to Prove my Worth. Self Forgiveness

This point of believing that I have to say something.

This came up and it is in my left inner thigh above the knee.

It is like an entity that wants to jump forward, to grab attention, as in allowing myself to remain in the game. Like this is what I am supposed to do to participate in the world and make myself known, and by this I mean even on a small scale, as within a small group or talking with another person.

A memory comes up with a friend who was a pianist, who had played for more years, applied the craft for more years/hours than I had at my craft. So, when I was in her presence I felt that I had to say something. Which means I felt inferior, or was busy judging because I accepted and allowed a stance of inferiority, instead of remaining here, in practical application within common sense. It is know that it takes 10,000 hours to learn to play an instrument, thus learning, becoming aware of something as its shape and form, takes time, takes steps, building understanding, as the actual physical world would be. It is to say, we live in an actual existence, physically manifest. Thus it is to investigate all things and take that which is good, take that which makes sense, as in causing no harm.

This is always, all ways right in front of us. So, to note here, that a physical world that can build cars and transport these cars to all places on this earth, means that we can transport what is needed where it is needed, and we can get the goods and services needed to organize this earth into a functioning unit of life, as this is what it is, because it is a physical order, visible, actual, here.

It makes no sense, that in a country where there is so much land, and so much resource, human and environmental, that there are bathrooms in elementary schools where children do not have the most basic of needs, such as toilet paper. That outside on the fence surrounding the school, there is all the while a large plack, with the name of a corporation boldly advertising their logo, touting a good, but missing the most basic of needs. It is enough to wonder what is being taught in such an environment, with such a capable physical form as that of the human. There is no excuse for any of this, and it is time that it stopped.

That memory, that entity that rose up as  a past self accepted actualized belief in the form of energy with no real sustainability, rising and peaking causing an emotional storm of dis-empowerment lacking all common sense of seeing directly here, this within me as what I had accepted and allowed, an inferior stance because I had not investigated practical reality, and  instead raced to become superior within my bubble of belief in thought, word and deed. This is for me to being back down to reality, to actual physical expression of life, as this is the real life where I exist, as this is the gift to become equal and one to and as life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compensate as belief within and as my mind as a thought, as an idea that lacked investigation into practical reality, a physical reality, becoming inferior based on an idea to another, because I compared myself to a step in a process way down the line from me, and instead of looking practically at the steps needed to be walked to get to that point of development, I judged myself as inferior, and then tried to compensate to make myself appear superior, and felt that I had to speak up to become of equal measure, an act of ignoring practical reality here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to another, instead of looking at the measure of expression, meaning the steps needed to become aware of something, the practice of becoming aware of something, practically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must always say something, to substantiate myself here, in self interest without reference to life, as what the physical is an expression and means of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to disqualify practical physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush within myself, in thought and deed of words to create a value for myself where I project in words a more than for myself an order of comparison, which is being competitive, as a belief that I must appear to be a good as or better than another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that within this I am in effect creating, but this creation is of a lesser state of being, as it is an act of self interest based on an idea of more, and as such, myself inferior to practical physical life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, from actual living, which can only be here, within this breath here, in this moment here, as this is where the practical is walked, to build understanding and an actual practice of common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being less than another, to have allowed this to become greater than life itself, as the physical, where the gift is to walk into awareness of what it means to be physical expression of life.

When and as I find myself wanting to prove that I am not inferior to what is around me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, to see realize and understand that self awareness means to be equal in understanding to here, in an actual physical expression as what life is in reality.

When and as I find myself beginning to speak out and up from a starting point of self interest based on a value judgement done from comparison within a limited value system, as belief, I stop, I breath , I slow myself down, until I am stable within and as breath here, and I look at the actual living physical reality to see, realize and understand in thought, word and deed, what is best for all, which is to take that which is good and does no harm, as each is me, in another life, thus the only choice is the choice of what is best for all here.

When and as I find myself moving into competition, wanting to move into a more, an energetic movement within and as me, I stop and I breath, and I slow the rush to a morality of more, built of limited values as good and bad, where the bad is what does not define my accepted limited self definition and the good is what I believe creates a value as a self definition, an overall outcome of separation, limited as a narrow focus as mind in relation to actual living expression as what the physical is, here.

When and as I find myself wanting to appear, as words, to be more than that which I have made myself inferior to, I stop and I breath, and I look here at practical reality, to see, realize and understand the practical, common sense steps of what it means to investigate and practice the building of awareness to master something, to know something enough to share the information of it in such a way that each is self empowered to be and reach their full potential, which is supporting life and realizing all resources, including human, as having the value of life, here, where each part realizes the full potential of life within, creating a world that is the actual of best for all.