A natural ability to be PRESENT Day 768

I have moments from the past where I looked at something and had a noses that something was out of whack. It usually was a focus where I could not explain why I thought something was out of whack, or, as another way to say this is, ‘ not in synch.”

This is something I think is innate to all of us, as what we are. This is something that each one of us can realize. If anything we get caught up in the details of expressing ourselves as we cannot line up the words that paint the picture of the math that we see, or sense, being not in synch, somehow, in the world around us. 

I can think of numerous instances in my life where this has happened. And I can compare this to performing to realize, as I had over the years, of what was happening that was the cause of both being able to sense something being out of synch and an ability to not quite be able to call out by name the math, the movement, the sense of the whole not being in balance. It is all around us, and we are the perfect mechanisms to understand this. We have all sensed this at some point in our lives. It has to be because of what we are, as forms, in totality. The statement that the veil is thin, is around and has been around for a reason, because it is a description of what is happening. It sticks , it holds, it cannot be denied.

I remember an instance where I really looked at my nephew, who is autistic.  I mean, I stood there and really LOOKED. Meaning, I sensed him, in calm, just stood there and sensed him. Instead of being in fear of his erratic and unconventional movements, in relation to comparison ONLY, based on comparison within standard expectations, I LOOKED at him. I was not in a state of resistance, I just LOOKED. What came to me was a sense that he was completely out of synch within himself.  It appeared that all the anxieties I knew from my family where swirling around ‘ in there’ and that this being was simply not able to synchronize with presence, his body and presence in a stable way, in a focus without an interference causing a huge effort to get himself to focus here. 

Having such a ‘ thought’ about this, and this was before desteni , is overall telling. Why do I not trust such a thing? And why can I not see my own details that yet lack details? And why not stand up and say this! Why not trust myself enough to speak up as this? In all common sense we are physical BIO- LOGICal forms, and within my sense of a LACK of an ability to FOCUS as what I see, I am basically telling myself, revealing to myself, what is actually happening to the being in space and time. How is it that what is so obvious is ignored? I mean, if I can sense water getting hot to make tea, for example, or if I can sense a change in barometric pressure, or if I can feel the bite of a tick, why the fuck can I not sense the movement and flow and focus of another human being? Of course I can, as the very nature of what and who I am as the same physical information as this world around me. The only thing that would stop this, is information counter to this, said again ad again and again, that I would begin to FOLLOW that would be counter to what the FUCK I AM! What do we think the whole “ Plato’s wall” and  the Machiavellian construct of voicing blame and spite as dis- SENT as information is and does? The math of separation is VISIBLE and all around us!  In so many ways, it is actually not a rocket science, or, one could say we are the most perfect of mechanisms to sense the science of the physical around us. And why? Because we are of the same stuff! 

An act of seeing ONLY the lack, and not also realizing the means of change out of that lack, in tandem with the behavior of calling out that lack ONLY, is a distraction of looking at the self - that self that has an innate ability to realize when something in this physical realm is out of synch, is out of harmony, is out of real presence, as out of FOCUS HERE.  To ignore, or reject, or not use this sensibility as who and what we are, and to ONLY point out that lack - is that same sensibility being used, which means a sensibility exists! It is an admission of what we are, it is only that it is being MISS-used. 

If one focuses ONLY on a resonant belief that was accepted and recited or used again and again, and FOLLOWED as that resonant belief within,  which is a practice of and as following something instead of using an innate sense, which is a rejection of the self as life - life being a natural sensibility - then one becomes out of synch with this reality. This is something that no one can blame on any one or thing around them. And it can only be self corrected. This is a resonant entity, it is a MINED CON-SCIENCE. One has become and practices a consciousness of separation.  The subconscious being the foundation of the parents being the same, and the unconscious this of the overall system, all accumulations as ideas, beliefs and opinions, composed in separation as a focus on LIMITED information accepted and allowed. This is, in other words, not a rocket science. The degree to which one cannot realize this, is the degree of one’s separation. It is visible in how much one projects the limited storied information onto objects around one, instead of standing within what is natural and innate, which is the ability to sense the whole and the parts, that ‘ nagging ‘ sense that something is out of whack, that each and every one of us has as who and what we really are. 

If one does a discipline, such as performing with an instrument, in a group, it begins, over time, to become obvious when one is not in synch with the group and begs the question as to what is causing this out-of-synchness. The only thing that can block this, is within the self. One must ask the question as to what is blocking the focus ? One must listen to the body to realize what it is that is blocking the focus. What I noticed was that a part of me was focusing on, my children, when they were  younger- for example. I had to learn to let one thing go, in the space for the moment that I was in, and focus on where I was. A consequence of this, after I had realized this, was that then chancing from the one to the other, was in itself challenging. This revealed to me that I was sluggish within myself, but in common sense I should be able to do this, as this was actually being mature ( as the terms I used and learned within this discipline).  This, overall, is being a master of self, and creating a self. Yet, overall, this begged another question as to why any resistance to something was not realized for what it was, and why our system did not take this into consideration and even used this for gain, through forcing beliefs, and dis-allowing this to live in synch with this reality and how this all works! How many times has one realized that past actions were not what was best, and has shame for such actions, not wanting to go back and correct them? How many times have we wallowed in such, defining ourselves as such, using this very limited piece of a movement, to define ourselves to make ourselves ‘ better’ within a bubble of realization, instead of moving beyond this into realizing the moving parts within the whole, in relation to all of this? It is an indication of having lost a focus on the whole, which means one has an embedded resonance that has become larger than reality, that is what is distracting the self from being who and what we are by capacity, into sensing mis-takes of and as our state of being, in relation to an innate ability to SENSE, to be in COMMON SENSE of the overall movement and expression of this LIVING REALITY around us that is the same as us. This reality, as the physical is a beautiful design. We are the means to understand and create.  We need only recognize the resonant ghost of mis-information through limited story accepted and allowed as reality, yet not ourselves standing within ourselves as who and what we really are. And, in a sense, all of our actions are us wanting to ultimately be in synch with this reality, because it is who and what we really are as this is the means of us being in living expression. 

Just look at all the dogmas of self definition, based on environment and culture, the dogmas of religion and politics, ask yourself if these things lend life expression. Hold your breath, focus on those values and see if they can ultimately sustain you, or if what sustains you is BREATHING.  This means that the PHYSICAL trees are necessary, or supersede any inner BELIEF system. Thus, what is ultimately real? 

An interesting thing happened those years I was performing with small groups. As I started to sort this out within myself, to realize what I was doing within myself, I had people come up to me and say to me that I had a lot of PRESENCE on stage.  I looked at this, with surprise and self interest, as I did that of which I speak, and did not relate this to what I was sorting out and realizing within myself. Yet, as I become more a master of myself, within my self, in relation to what I was doing, that focus improved and people noticed it. 

What also happened, is nasty comments also came to me. It appeared as an  out-of-context statement. I would react, yet also, had experienced a sense of myself knowing when I was in synch and present, meaning I knew when I was in focus, what I had not rehearsed enough etc. to know that no one could really know what I was being but myself. This was enough to begin to know the difference between supportive criticism and just simple nasty criticism. 

Supportive criticism opens doors, as though it defines what one already senses, and is very clear- meaning one sees it immediately and is thankful. Nasty criticism usually makes no sense, and confuses. And yet, I know very good players who have a hard time between the two, which is an indication of not being in synch in itself- but that is within the individual. 

If I can sense this, and this is something that is known, it means that that same sense in the self, is alive and present. The ability to sense the different colors of this, overall substantiates what is innate within all of us, as who and what we are, as living beings that are physical, and can sense the most subtle of things, down to seeing, realizing and understanding when we face an autistic person, that what is happening with that person, is a serious state of being out of synch with reality, with this physical reality. 

This means that it is probably a cause of a number of things, that we have allowed pollutants in our environment from NOT LOOKING, and we have allowed a resonance of NOT LOOKING, that is causing what we are to be out of synch. We are therefor creating physical discord with reality within and as what we are placing as a math of separation, as a measure of separation as what we hold within us, that is of limited information, to inform the physical. It is , if we LOOK , as what is natural to what and who we are,  the cause of so much out-of-synchness in our world today. We are moving against life. Yet we are, as the very nature of ourselves and the physical, as what is natural, the ability to move in synch with creation, as the physical reality that is life that is all around us. 

On the world stage, it appears to me, that the bully of the media and certain institutions we have collectively allowed and as men, because the power is in the numbers, as men composing the system - it appears to me, that just as a nasty person realizing in contrast to a noticeable presence, attack and try and force a limitation to hide a reality. This behavior in itself screaming a separation from self, not wanting anyone to see that that self has rejected itself as life, and moving to attack anything that exposes its separation, and/or in many ways, a crying out of separation, as the practice of separation is all that is known, and all the expression of the entity knows how to be. So is it with some of our present systems, such as the CDC and the whole vaccine scenario. it is like it is screaming its demise, trying to hold onto something that is being exposed, and instead of LOOKING, does everything in its capacity to continue a false narrative. Thus, the movement of lack, in the overall system, behaves the same as what I experienced in my life in relation to movements and expressions around me. Thus, it is  a pattern, recognizable, and of a measure, or math in this reality, visible and understandable within its accepted and allowed state of being. We individuals are no different. Such patterns can only exist within small measure, as a separation is a loss of presence, and only able to hold a chaos of no real self directive capacity- which is visible in its lack. If we take the time to look, can we not see the actions of institutions being that scared accusatory voice that uses hyperbole as limited value judgements that have no real clear description and directive practical measurable steps that open awareness, that point out where one is, with clarity and then give a measure that appears to voice just what one was seeing but was only on the cusp of calling out by name with clarity in the moment and therefor incredibly thankful of the clarity that defines effective practice that is a joy in and as self discovery into real self creation? The difference between the two is HUGE, and visible, if one takes the time to really LOOK.  This ability is the capacity of who and what each and everyone of us is as life. It is time that we create ourselves as life, which means to stand in the image and likeness of this practical and physical and visible reality. We all have moments where we realize this. We need only LOOK here. Breathe. 

The resonant seed of time lines of and as myself Day 763

In my thirties I realized within the discipline of playing the violin that there were interferences within my ability to focus that were getting in the way. I did not realize the depth of this, yet I did realize that being focused was the way forward at the time. 

In some unconscious way, when I found destini I joined, lent my full name, and did not turn back. For me, because of this experience,  and experiences with the white light, there was nothing else, it all made sense. 

In walking a time line of the events I allowed, as the actions as responses I lived,  I opened up a memory of myself running outside , as a child, to a tree. I go and I sit next to the tree, and I am in an emotional chaos. Why? Because I knew that I had created something that was still with me,  had created, through my actions, a presence that hovered behind me as me. I knew, as that, probably somewhere between 6 and 7 that I had created what I was running from, that was with me. It took a few time-lines to uncover this.  It has to be before the second grade, because the tree I ran to was in the place I lived before second grade. My family moved from one state to another between 1st grade and second grade. 

This memory in tandem with my experience in my thirties of realizing I had an interference of emotional memories in regards to focusing on playing, for me, make it clear that the spells we create with our words, outlining our behaviors, becoming our personalities, are of our own creation, through acceptance and allowance.  

I am also someone who has gotten good grades in school. I remember studying things and at first, with something new, it was really slow. Yet as I read, and focused on the material, it began to build within me enough that I could talk about it. I always knew when I understood the material because I felt secure in talking about it, even when it was not the whole story, as I was taking something in, in  a bubble, and regurgitating it. It had no practical relationship to reality.  It is like sitting in a room, creating shadows and then talking about the shadows, even if the information composing the shadow, has some validity.  

What is interesting, is this is all  a math. Meaning, for example, when my children were in school, I would say to them that they should do well, in all subjects in grade school, because it was all a different language.  My one son studied art in college. Yet, when he was in grade school, I would not let him become the ‘ artist’ type that only did well in art. He was required to at least grasp the basics of other subjects. Hence, even in practical terms,  I was aware that subjects were all a different language.  It is understood that when one learns one language, it is easier to learn another.  

Within this, I want to look at another aspect of all of this that i allowed to once again happen , the other night.  Background first; When I had gone back to school, there was a professor who would tap their foot at they interacted with me. I could barely hear what they were saying, at first, because all I could do was hear that tapping foot under the table. I had to pull myself together and attend to their words. Yet, that tapping foot remains as a memory, coming forward, all loud within me! lol

Two nights ago, I was talking with this woman, who had this same kind of ‘ tick’ about her. I was allowing this to upset me, and bother, me. What I did was begin to use facts. I just started listing them.  I could say, in using facts, I was protecting myself from the self accepted bother of hearing her ‘ ticks.’ Physical ticks are like static to me on the television, like when an image comes in and out.  I was really keeping myself study and stable with information. Meanwhile, in the background I was watching her ticks. lol

Physically, her body would twitch. She was trying to control this. She kept asking me questions.

What is interesting here, is that she was doing the same thing I was doing. She was using question as looking at the subject as the words as the shield to ground herself from her own resonant seed of information. I mean it is not all bad, as we do tend to realize on some levels what is going on, and attempt to organize our ordinariness accepted and allowed. 

The moment i caught myself doing this, I stopped. I summed up with words what I wanted to say, to round out and stopped. Talking in protection and defense, creating a shield against something, is allowing that thing to be huge, it ends up going nowhere.  The conversation moved towards allowing this woman to talk about herself. 

I also had interactions with a aging family member this past week. Conversations steer towards politics etc. I notice that different colors , as I call it, come forward in relation to statements made about things happening in the world, and the rest of my family. Instead of reacting, I have slowed down and brought details forward, without a gain in sight. It is more that the change cannot be expected in one moment, it is more a building of looking at all the details. lol, I would call it bringing more presence into the whole through greater detail of the parts. I have noticed, especially within my family, that over the years, some of the things i have said, about health etc. have become the vernacular in my family. For example, in my thirties I would talk about how people are shaking, vibrating, and I was laughed at, jokes about it were made etc. There either day, this very same term was used about someone my family member and myself used. 

Overall, the tensions within me, within how this all works, are of my own creation. In time, over time, the patterns of what we are allowing are visible around me, and the means are known. 

It is interesting in the media, in relation to this, especially in my Facebook feed. This week there are two posts on protests, or support gatherings. one is for the parents of autistic children to protest the Boston Herald, and another is a gathering to support Public schools.  I don’t see individual posts of groups gathering    every day, consistently. Yet these posts were on my news feed under the heading of some coalition. If I use critical literacy, and ‘ follow the money’ I wonder why these two particular posts, that appear as a grass roots group, have consistently appeared on my feed? Especially the public school support gathering in Boston. Someone has to place the posts, which means someone is paid for this, as the sites are also well put together.  lol, it is like a resonant tick in my news feed. I don’t even remember having clicked a ‘ like’ for the sudden appearance of this group. This is also a red flag, that this agency could buy the space to appear on the news feed of my FB current without my acquiescence.  I feel like neo in the Matrix!  I could be becoming a gloom and doom state of being in relation to this, yet on some levels, it is a visible occurrence and not something to react to, this tick. 

This is all more of what I learned to do in school. Taking in information, and playing with it, using it to manipulate myself, through acceptance and reaction without real grounding, without practical consideration of who and what I am, as a physical state of being. It is participating in the shadow world of knowledge and information, used to manipulate constructions that are not grounded in consideration of the reality and the practical nature of creating. What can be done, is to continue walking, continue to point out the practical, to bring forward reality, to make reality larger than the shadow world of knowledge and information lost of consideration for all things, as respect  for this living, expressing, physical reality- that one thing that is what one is distracted from, and that one thing that is owned by a few.  It is what is in plain sight, right here. 

Just as I started to see this in the discipline of self generating as playing an instrument, and just as the child of and as  me, realized I had built a shadow resonance of experience, that remained with me, even when I tried to escape and deny it, and just as I pick up, at times the ticks as the flow of presence in another, a resonance of and as ideas, beliefs and opinions,  justifying ideological wants , needs and desires, as the focus of the self as life, causing separation from reality, so must all of us see, realize and understand this.  What defines us, is who and what we are as physical life. We must ask ourselves, what it is that we allow to distract us from being practical in this reality, this consistent and living reality all around us. 

It is time to respect the physical, to live in respect of what is in plain sight, that is owned by all, as it is what enables all to exist, as shadow imposed onto the physical or as self in full focus of reality, as the gift of creation that surrounds us. It is time to get the self in focus of life, in the presence as the focus of self onto and as what and who we are as life, as the physical. 

Moving into Fear and Losing Potential Day 741

Moving into fear and losing potential

Where is that point of movement, a sound movement in a way, where I move into resistance, instead of solution?

I can realize when I move into comparison, blame and spite, all of which is fear, as this is moving into protection instead of a harmonium of balance, remaining focused on myself here as what and who I am as a physical human being in a physical planet. I can notice where I move into seeing events of the past that I have allowed to define me, the cultural background based on environments and social structures that were ideas, made ritual, utilizing how things are built as a repetition in sound, as words, as pictures, creating a melody within of which movement against caused conflict, and I feared for my survival, allowing myself to fall into an illusion projected onto reality, as the physical. I became a one sided conversation and no longer conversed with what is real, the physical. To restore a natural presence, means to recognize what I have allowed to direct me as information, and refocus this in reality, remaining present, or within a presence of this reality, acknowledging that I allowed myself to become at-most-sphere, instead of being a part of this real event called life all around me. 

In practice, in the practical, I am water and substances that can remain in balance and flow as who and what I am, I need not compare myself to others as they are the same as me, they are another means of perspective, a conversation of this orchestra, cross referencing perspective builds a greater awareness of the whole.  This means direct interaction and that careful walking from the grass roots up, from the ground up, eventually reconnecting the parts to realize the sum of the parts create the whole. Bubbles of belief separate from the practical, as a mind consciousness system of a story of a sequence of events being resonant instead of a reflection of what is here, as the physical,  is what is sounded on the media stage instead of information that educes a greater awareness of this physical reality in and as how this reality actually functions. Human rights outlines stand more in accord with what we are, realizing each being needs the basics to function. Instead we trade information as ideas, beliefs and opinions in separation from the practical, from a common sense of the whole, as what and who we are. 

I can sense when and as I move into fear, and realize that because I have allowed myself to exist within fear, that I have little practice in being and remaining present, being thankful when a perspective is sounded, as shared, that is not something I had real-eyed in focus, in recognition, in-sight. I can become the model of standing as this, accepting mistakes because of habits allowed within in discord of the practical, I can be thankful within opportunities of discord to balance and sort out, of which, when a starting point of practice, can build momentum and lend a more rapid ability to process and hear here to then reflect here with and as what I speak, as what I sound, as the very instrument that is me as a human being on a physical planet. I can transpose what is around me, remaining consistent, constant, grateful , always remembering the silence is there for me to reflect the potential of life, to reform, to interact, to place my feet on this ground, and build from the ground us because this is the gift given of where and who I am, as a physical beingness on a physical planet. I have the  capacity to hARM- o - neighs  myself here, in common sense of what is the same as me, to speak in tune with reality, to become the insight of words reflecting what is here, and thus realize what is more natural, which is to sing/speak in tune with here. 

One thing I learned, or experienced in this life is how important is the small, as a sense of presence that I can direct in the smallest of movements. When realizing the smallest of things as a stabilizing point , it is easier to then move into the greater construct of the small, as the parts of  as much a part of the whole as is the whole a composition of the parts of the small. Thus, I must not fear the small. In this case the very words that I speak. To master this within myself, and to not fear this, to realize this is not a thing controlled by anyone but myself, lends great discovery in myself being able to become the directive capacity of myself.  I can become an instrument that sings with this reality.  

Just as I accumulate through practice, which is a kind of consistent recognition, I can become a seed of this, standing as this, building in the very fabric of this existence the means towards this, moving like the growth of a tree, spreading veins of this into what is here, until enough momentum is built that the fruits of what is laid-bare as my labor, is recognized within and as a kind of awakening in self awareness here, back into this physical reality being the expression of life information. 

What joy and connection would that be in living practice? In real communion with and as a recognition of who and what we are as human beings, breathing and real=eyezing creation right here? What joy to realize connection, to lend what is freeing and giving of capacity inherent in who and what we are? Would there exist one-sided conversations? Would there be rushing or would there be the joy of the small, the joy of real connection, where each could become self directive here, being thankful for what and who we are in physical presence? 

The rush and narrow read of greed, does not recognize the reed through which the sound of fear rushes through, seeking a quick fix and in so doing missing an experience of real connection , a living connection. Fear is in-stead of the ignorance inherent in a one-sided conversation. A  limited conversation reflects the con of greed, the rush of hope alone, or a faith without the experience of living the practical and small necessary building of a real command ability.  In step with life a seed of presence must be built, to become that tree of deep rooted stability, harmonious with this that is us, physical being as who and what we are, as creation information. This must be sounded, the sounds mastered. Mastery means a practice of recognition of the notes and how they form the narratives that frame and direct presence , that pre-science , that precious sigh of breath able to reflect recognition of the formation of this life, this physical world that is creation, right here. 

Words are a thing, they are a sound thing, a piece of sound. They are a narrative that when believed to be more real than the physical, separate awareness. Yet, words are a means of building a sound picture that is in accord with this physical reality. A means of recognition with this physical and practical reality. The space of silence surrounds the words I speak, therefor there is the space to see the time of narrative, and to relate a conversation to living physical information as creation, right here. We can therefor sentence ourselves to a state of separation from here, or use what we sound to sound the chord of this physical reality, directing as who and what we are, to become equal and one with this life information that is the same as us, as it is what and who we are. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist recognition of what and what I am as the very words I speak here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the fabric of a conversation in separation from being in a chord with and as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize all that is here his the same as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what is sounded, to resist, to compare, to reject,  instead of playing with, realizing I can change, and process and investigate and assess form here, and enjoy the awesomeness of the small, as the space is here, all around me, to sense and realize potential as that which recognizes all things and senses balance and harmony into what does no harm, as I am life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe a self created and accepted narrative in separation from recognizing this living reality as the physical that is life in expresison here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand what I form as the words I speak, that can become a series of events in protection and defense, in fear of standing equal and one to here, as this living reality, that is physical, as I am the means and the instrument able to recognize here, to be cognizant of here, as the space of potential as silence as a starting point of and as the very means of who and what I am as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear silence, to fear space, to fear recognizing here, as myself,  as I feared letting go of a false narrative as an experience of a mis-use of who and what I am, as what I sound as what I speak,  in and as allowing a starting point of self interest, out of step with a practice of recognition of and as a respect to and towards this physical world,  of which an underlying silence allowing a perpetual recognition of the potency of the physical as life, and the constant realization of realizing what does no harm here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject being present and respectful of this reality, and instead following a false and energetic sequence of events as a narrative inconsiderate of all things, as the practical and basic needs of what it means to be physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how adaptable I am, within and as what I form as the words I speak and how as what I am, I can remain within the heart of me, as who I am as life, and the tiers of this reality so auditory around me, if I slow down and list- them to recognize and respect all that is the same as me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in terror of here, and within this to real-eyes that the tiers of physical beingness are sounding here, audible here, thus can I turn an accepted and allowed inner seed of events built in fear of myself as life, into a recognition of the tiers sounding practical and physical reality, here. 

When and as I find myself in fear, in resistance, in separation, in comparison, in not living the potential of me, as who and what I am, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I recognize the physical, to list-en to what is here, to tune into here, to utilize the space of here, to see realize and stand equal and one to the awesomeness of life information as creation sounding all around me as the  physical. 

When and as I find myself being in terror of here, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and listen, to hear the tiers of form here, as the physical, to change from being in terror of here, protecting a territory of and as idea, belief and opinion, of and as who and what I am, and I forgive this, and recognize myself to the physical, hearing the tiers of creation, allowing and accepting being present here, moving into being in tune with the practical physical formation of creation, here, that is the same as me, and I enjoy working with the smallest of things as the words I sound, to ensure a constant and steady practice of respecting as recognizing all things, to move from reaction as being terrified, into seeing directly here the tiers of reality audible around me, thus is a desire for a territory in survival  transposed into a recognition of the tiers , as the order of the physical, rite/right  or/hear/audible/formed here before me as the physical with myself the same, as what is here is me.

The FUNdamentals Day 736

The FUNdamentals

I am physical, a human being. I am this foundation, this FUNdament. The basis of who and what I am is physical. This is what is real and what I see every day, this is what is the fundamental foundation of who and what I am.

This is what i am before any religion or political party, or nation, or culture defines who and what I am.  ThIs is what I am before I know my name. This is what I focus on before I can speak. This is what I am, as the cells building in the womb, before I can re-cognize myself. This is what I am before a thought, or a feeling, as I must be this fundamentally before I can sense this world, that which I am as I am composed of the same things. This is the means of my expression and my opportunity to become equal and one with creation. If I move, or direct myself here, as this physical earth, without doing the math of here, without considering all things, what am I regarding, as what else is there to regard other than all things that are here that are me, the same as me, as being of the same means of expression as the physical as me? 

What I  move in as a self interest of little practice in considering my actions based on some idea that exists only within me that has not cross referenced this reality,  which becomes by design a bias to here, as what I am as thought, feelings and emotions, generated within a mind consciousness  as ideas, beliefs and opinions, stepping outside of a natural ability to regard, as realizing the consequences of my actions to all things, as what is around me is what is natural and therefor pure and simple.  When I lack a consideration of this world, I accept a belief that I am more than what is me, around me and instead I move as something I have allowed to generate within as an entity that has no real grounded stability to this creation, as this physical reality.  That within is a bias, a moving entity of limited pictures, of limited insight, racing and spinning in its false narrative, its composition of charged information, like a ghost that can only be of my past, that when I allow to be/define the soul/sole directive of me, is something that I project and thus appear to race towards thereby only compounding the separation of me, from remembering me to who and what I am as a physical being. It is a bubble of my own creation through acceptance and allowance, generated by me, allowed through my own will, to determine my actions, all in separation from being here, having fun within the fundamentals, the physical. Within this, realizing the smallest of things is the means to the end, it is to become the master of myself, here, remembering the physical as fundamental to who and what I am here.

What is the gap between my natural common sense and the shift into a mind consciousness that is a rush for a false narrative that is at- tense-tion that can be felt by me as the physical through my physical body as the muscles that are me here, a composition of cells filled with a composition of specified cells that are surrounded by water that as a substance can feel the slightest of pressures, as even those thoughts, emotions and feelings moving through me, of changed energy, that acts in a racing movement, towards some idea of a more, based on a past as idea that is in essence a bias to this practical and physical opportunity to be and express as life, as a physical form. As this, the entity as me, as a soul, a story,  if looked upon is filled with value judgements as culture, as this over all accepted and allowed disregard for life that becomes a compound that is of energy, rigged through acceptance of false narratives/frameworks/scaffolds of information, composed of ideas within me, embedded in the flesh as the very hard-drive as me, that is the ultimate separation causing a rape of this physical means of expression, as a transfiguration that lacks grace and respect and gentle transformation of myself, as this graceful transformation is a birth into becoming the master of what it means to build a life of balance and gracefulness that is a fluid, constant, connected movement that must use considering all things, moving moment to moment that will not move as resistance in actions, as it must move in acceptance of all things, embracing  the physical the real narrative of awareness.  

I am the director of my will, what I focus upon is what I accept, thus when a narrow focus is what I allow to define me, through ignorance of remembering myself to all things, I can blame no one but me, to do so is to spite what and who I am, as the physical which is the fundamental of me here. 

The trees are me, the oceans, the salt in the oceans, the soils, the substance of the soils, what I allow, as perspective, of these building blocks that are the same as me, is what determines a composition of this physical world, a world that exists as me, as the collective forms that are here, that is this reality, that is a technology unsurpassed except by an idea of playing god. An idea that is in itself, as a starting point, a false take on reality, as the physical is equal in all manifested creation, as this is the fundamental value as the very means of expression, thus no one point can be more than another.  Thus a construction that forces change, without  agreement from a starting point of awareness of all function and means, as the physical, is already an im(age/time)-position of a false and projected purpose and therefor a soul ( that is a sole purpose) instead of an equal and one connection with a pure/CURE-ated awareness of being in tune with the means of who and what I am as the physical. This is why, the false narrative, all charged up and spinning, is composed of limited ideas, and becomes a bias on reality, that swirls like a running train, spiraling into a bubble, that separates one’s presence from what is fundamental and what was always here, as a self in focus of the physical world here at birth. This physical world, being what is real, as a focus here, on this, is to respect and remember all things as who and what I am/will as the physical world. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a mind consciousness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a con-science of and as ideas, beliefs and opinions, to mind who and what I am, as I follow my own mis-use of creation, composed of limitations, as non-recognition of all things that are me as the physical, as this earth, that is the same as my heart, this hearth, as the very sounds as the letters reflect.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that gap between myself as equal and one as the physical and the narrow framework of belief, idea and opinion as the mind, so visible within and as the very actions, as deeds I accept to direct me, here  in this physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to move within and as the fundamentals of who and what I am here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not play in tune with the physical, to move in common sense of what and who I am, that is the same as me, and all around me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to move with regard to life, as that which is all around me and the same as me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and breath, to step out of a mind consciousness composed of value judgements made larger than the practical measure of this physical reality, that is the greatest technology as it is the means of life, that move organically through a seed of information, curled up into a ball, that then is a blueprint of expansion, as giving the means to expression and transformation, as flexibility with every breath, with every cross reference, as feeling this actual real physical movement of and as life, as this earth, that is of the same fundamental building blocks as me, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that mis-takes, are simply a cognitive dissonance from a respect of all things as this reality, as this physical reality that is of the same as me, equal and one, as the means of understanding and moving in awareness of the fundamentals, remembering the starting point of movement, as breath, as the means to sense here, as in considering all things, as all things are me, here, as the fundamental composition of the building blocks of life, is the same in all the physical -this verified means that is constant and stable around us, especially when self directed as what is the fundamental  essence of all things as expression, as creation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to exist as the real library, the real LIBeration AIRy as the very means of sensing here, as breath, to air-in as breath-in a reflection, as a respect, as a reciprocity to what is me, as the very same as me, as the fundamental building blocks of the physical, to embrace and respect, and become sELF hONEst to and as what is the same as me, as this physical world, as in breath, I slow down and reMEMBER who and what I am, to realize the sole purpose as the means of creation as the fundamental building blocks of this life that is creation in manifestation here as physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the patterns of my separation as thoughts, composed of comparison, a form of judgement with a charge, when moving as an imagination within and as me, a secret mind, as a consciousness built of ideas about who and what I am, that I hide, to not show the shame, the sham of me, as myself not allowing and accepting myself to realize the fundamental of me as the physical, where all things are me in another life here, thus, the competition, of me, as thoughts and back chats and chatter in and as my mind, is of my own acceptance and allowance, and a decomposed self of limited ideas, that spin me out of self control as who and what I am as life, a distraction of mis-information that separates me from this living reality, as the physical, the consequence of this visible in the loss of presence to here, the awareness of space here, and thus the loss of a natural ability to sense here, and self direct here, to the point where I lose a self directive capacity to walk on this ground, on this earth, as I become the mess- age that is a false narrative of belief, opinions and ideas, within and as me that is a separation from respect and regard for who and what I am, as I am a me-ssage, an organic capacity to sound a respect and insight- as an expanding awareness - of this reality, of this physical world, to work in union, in tune with, in sight-essence of, as the physical here as this is the gift ( giving foot to, as stepping here in respect and awareness) of life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to entertain myself with what-if’s and fear of loss stories of information that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus upon within and as me as idea, to seed a story spinning the self of and as me, out of control of who and what I am, as the fundamental that is me, and equal to me, as who and what I am as life, as breath, as the means of becoming a master of self, realizing that this physical reality, as all things here of this earth, is me, and the means of my expression, able to move in ways that do no harm, and by design, as breath, to consider all things, taking that which is good as that which realizes there are no problem only solution here, which means grounding myself, my focus, to the practical, that being the use of a natural ability to common sense this earth, this hearth, this with heart of me, as who and what I fundamentally am as life as the physical.

When and as I find myself allowing and accepting confusion, I stop, and I breath and I slow myself down, and I adapt to time, realizing nothing can define who and what I am, as I have endless patience, as who and what I am, to realize in every breath, a common sense of here, to change and adapt as nothing can be lost, but within my imagination, as life is fundamentally here, as creation, the potential to realize the only choice is equality and oneness with who and what I am as the physical manifest as this earth, here.

When and as I find myself becoming confused I see realize and understand that I am moving from common sense into a mind consciousness of my own acceptance and allowance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to realize myself self worth as life, to respect what is the same in me, that is in all things, as the fundamental  symbiotic nature of the physical of this earth, where all things are of the same essence of and as life, as the very substance of the  physical.

When and as I find myself exiting in conflict, as tension, as what I attend to, as focus upon, I stop and I breath, and I adapt, seeing realizing and understanding there is no competition, as in space and time, I am of the same substance, as all things, and  as this, can create, to experience life information, this there is no rush as an idea of a more is an illusion, as I am here, in expression as self directed movement of and as the means of life, in essence.

When and a s i find myself fearing a loss of something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am one and equal with all things, as I am the same, which is life, and that the fundamentals of who and what I am is the means to experience all things, thus what I am in a moment here, can with careful practice realize expression, of and as life, being grateful for the life around me that is me, to ground myself here.

When and as I find myself reacting, as resistance, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand what I accept as attend to, as allow a self interest as idea within me, as a mind consciousness to have attention onto, as forcing attention onto, to see my own self interest, as a belief in special interests of and as me,  I stop and I breath and I slow myself to, to sense my physical body, to realize the information that I have accepted and allowed to become me, within a belief that what I believe is a more, I stop and i breath, and I slow myself down, to see realize and understand the practical, living moment to moment, to see the consequence of time and space here, within and without, above and below, to become a practice of being grounded, here, to realize the me-sage of experience, to become an expression of life as a common sense of reality, as the practice of self worth equal and one to the fundamentals of what is here, this earth, this hearth, this heart. 

When and as I find myself moving into righteousness, as a tension, as a belief of a more or a holding onto within fear of loss, as a false narrative of self interest, n and as a secret mind of self hate, based on a morality of fear, as a lack of insight into accepting my own self worth of and as life, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I read/reed the sound of common sense, as a respect to the practical, living solutions as saluting this life, this physical world as this is respecting all things, as all things are equal and one as me, fundamentally physically the same, as this is the real starting point of life in expression, withstanding the test of time, as this remains constant, under the many false narratives of ideas, beliefs and opinions as ‘ isms’ that have reigned down, as knowledge and information, as what is real, is here, right in front of me as the space of the constant physical cycle of life, organic and expressice, adaptable and creating, as the physical is creation in-formation.

Reciprocity Day 703

Within the sales process I have learned the importance of listening. There are levels of listening, as one must see the whole and the parts. One thing I notice is how self validation comes forward, in the form of the speakers experience, the things that express the structure the person uses to self guide, to self support. It is a form of conception, a form of knowledge and information that defines the person. I must listen to this, as it shows me what the person uses to order themselves and their goals, and what is unique about them. This means, that window into what potential they gravitate towards to connect as a starting point with this earth.

The moment I interrupt them, I am essentially beginning to force something on them. I am taking what they have said and already, in a rush, relating it to myself. I have not asked questions to clarify and made sure that I understand where they come from, what they have defined themselves as. And, I have not used their state of being to hear what would more than likely, to a tiny degree, expand my awareness, because inevitably, everyone is unique, because everyone is standing on a different point on the ground, thus even with all the layered stories of experience within this, there is always an insight buried in the storm. I must listen for that, and yet, understand the building around that point. It becomes an incredible thing to be able to do, this math, and this discovery of a point of connection. This is overall a process, and it is the same for myself, as it is for another. It is a reciprocal process.

Lately, I have attached the image of a horse to this process. For some reason I define a horse as having a reciprocal nature. This is moving backwards and forwards, to see the parts and the whole, to even enjoy this process. It is accepting the gift of understanding and then reconstructing once a connection is made. 

Before I began to realize this, I would get scared and angry, righteous and overwhelmed, moving into all manner of justifications and frustrations to push a goal I had within me. There is nothing wrong with the goal, really, it is who I am within what I am doing that is the problem. That rush, my own agenda wanting a quick connection instead of realizing that the process is living. In space and time I can only be here, and development moves in many ways, like self awareness is in perpetual change, or transformation, and that this is being here. 

This reminds me of the summers I allowed art students to open a gallery in my living room. Each student had a different approach to their art. One did iconographic pictures, mixing up cartoon-like images in new ways. Another, did pictures of nature, oil paintings and water colors. Another, did really simple still life’s of objects. When people walked into the gallery, they would automatically be drawn to certain images.  Some like the simple and somewhat amateur still life’s, some went right to the paintings of nature, and some stood in front of the story line images.  Each type of art made some sale. 

Thus, each person reveals their own belief systems within their choices, and their words more than likely reveal the patterns of their belief, and the experiences used to justify their belief systems. Before one can connect with another, one must reciprocate, meaning move back and forth, listening and understanding where a person comes from as their perspective of reality. 

Within this, resistance is productive, because it helps realize what defines as a structure and then allows one to open up that structure in small and simple ways, to open doors into accepting other perspectives and expand within one’s self. Within this, comes an ease and a sense of trust. And, an exposure of how all of this works, because one then has the contrast of one’s belief and that of another. Thus what could be considered a limitation, becomes a means towards expansion. Limitation becomes an illusion. Yet, this is how we learn, this is how we practice becoming present, enjoying form no matter what and seeing it for what it is and looking outside of that to change, as change will happen in small steps, digestible steps. This is reciprocity at work, moving backwards and forwards until something is clear, enjoying one another no matter the starting point. 

What does this mean in practice? This means listening to the story being told. This means hearing the value judgements, realizing the persona is in the words, getting to know the personality. Within this, discovering the potential suppressed as the means to the end, have not been lived and instead a past of experience leading to a role, as a persona was the choice made. This means moving back and forth, grounding one’s self in the physical reality that is right here. This physical reality remains, even when the persona wavers in protection and defense, avoidance and blame. In the silence, and the stillness of focus can one begin to sense patterns and call them out by name, indirectly telling stories, creating a value  that realizes the capacity through ordinary action that leads to the extraordinary movements that we all admire for their grace and ease. Those who have a small measure of development, that supposed exception to accepted and allowed rules that reveal in every way, the means to the end - as it is simple. What complicates is what causes resistance. That self suppression via limitation and ideas of lack circulating as pictures and words, as voices in the memory, a mind full of morality codes made larger than life and in separation from the practice of reality , a physical reality. It is a firewall , that is emotional. It is the veil. It has parts that are good, yet those are ideas  - not presence  in reality,  they are  - right or wrong - personifications. They are illusion, they are like a television. You are electrical and magnetic by design.  As within, so without, as above, so below.

So much of my life has been caught in sympathy. This means being sympathetic only, accepting another persona and agreeing with it, instead of realizing real empathy is listening and then giving practical solutions that move the path SIM-ulated into an expansion that allows one to move with ease and create, meaning to live the kind of potential realized inherent in the design of who and what we are as men, with two arms and two legs and two hands and the ability to move with our presence into forms, be they imagined or real, to sense the space of this reality around us, catching those point of resistance and yet seeing the creation of them, an inflating of what is a value judgement made huge, and bringing what was not expressed, or what was missed into a practical action. This is making things small, as within an equal size relationship to the physical world. This can only be done right here, in the commons of reality that is the physical world.

Within this I need not fear the projections of the mind of men as this is not who and what they really are. I need not fear losing anything, because what expands and creates can never be lost, yet it can become silent and begin again. What works remains and what destroys cannot remain, we either realize the value being life, or we continue believing that our egos are larger than life, mis-using the imagination with what is an imperfect practice, as we are not here, in respect of physical reality.

If we accept knowledge and information from an authority that speaks on a soap box from a distance, we lose all connection to our natural ability to assess reality, and we become instead filled with malice- a crystallization mercurial in nature a false morality, because we miss what is hidden in plain sight as the physical world.  We believe that adderal will help our depression because the label by the authority says so. We follow instead of investigate. later we may discover that this ‘ thing’ is really crystal meth with an added chemical chain that does not change the action of the original and real name. The damage done from such following is the mis-takes never solved, these which accumulate as mis-information/story, that weigh down the body while one lives in a false bliss up there in a bubble that is a personification. If we listen we all hear this, we all see this, we all know this. It is that we fear to live. Yet, that which we fear is the only way out. This is why that which we resist persists, because it must be made clear and brought down into practical measure equal to physical reality, as the physical is creation in expression.

Within myself, in relation to this, I realize the people I have trusted I can no longer trust, or that I am alone, that I must stand and be responsible for who and what I am.  Someone once said, trust no one. In reality, I can only trust myself, with the help of the commons, as the ground here, I can begin to slow down and listen and no longer become confused, or recognize that I am confused and see that I have not found that simple point to bring forward that is always right there in front of me, in every moment. For this, I can use my best friend; silence - and who has a twin known as patience.  I am here. I can take that which is good and does no harm and I can walk with self forgiveness into investigation and assessment to find what is self corrective until equality in each and every point realizing the value is life is here on earth.  I see, realize and understand that fear is a sign that I am not present in reality. I can use the capacity of myself as life, to take the time to reciprocate and build understanding and then relate to respecting reality and choosing what is best for all, as this is what s best for self, here. 

Day 695 The allowance of self discovery.

The allowance of self discovery.

In slowing down and learning to listen, I realized a point in building relationships with others. It is also a relationship with myself. I slow down and  listen to what thoughts, opinions and ideas accumulate and are allowed that then define experience.

In this, listening to another is to bring self discovery forward. It is seeing what is here, as this physical world, and living the value being life. The means is to define one’s words as a starting point, to ensure that everyone is of equal measure in understanding. 

Within this, if I react within wanting acknowledgement for information I am already acting superior, and creating a state of inferiority and control of information. I am  racing ahead within this desire for acknowledgement. I am abdicating my presence to here, in effect.  I am allowing  information to become more than the value being understanding a clear measure that lends self responsibility. 

Why? Because the physical world is given, it is us, it is right here, and it reveals by its nature, freely, its own form and function. In other words its measure is right here in front of us. The only quest in this regard is to discover the physical for oneself. No one can be that discovery but one’s self. 

Listening to another person is a lot like listening to one’s self, as each is a measure of values accepted and allowed as how one defines what has been discovered in their world, or resistances towards understanding the simple, what is the same in everyone, and that is that we are physical beings on a physical planet.  After all, words are esoteric by design. Words reflect one’s accepted measure within. Only self can change this.

Day 663 A self divided upon itself.

Today I had a meeting, and it seemed I could hold so much of it in one consistent form. It is an interesting thing, self discovery, because it is normal, it is practical, it is here. The chaos of a memory that has been allowed to become bigger than reality is the problem. The solution is to realize correct action, or perfect practice. This means, as the answer is in the above words, that the within, as the memory of experience, must be equal to what builds that memory, which is the physical world around  us. Yet, chaos makes simplicity something buried under the uncertainty of imbalance.

This morning I looked at the word evil and evolve and live. I suddenly looked at the ‘e’ as a circle divided unto itself.  It is like the top of the ‘e’ is one piece, yet the bottom of the ‘ e’ is bursting at the seams.  This is like a world upside down, where the within is of a greater measure/focus that what is real, as the physical, that physical, that which the information as the memory informs itself!

I mean, why do so many parents assess the friends of their children? Why do they resist some children over others? Why do we not see that the wicked witch in the woods is Cinderella in another life? Why do we not realize that our monetary system holds ideas of what is more based on a metaphysical ideology? Why do we not realize that all those indigenous people’s language is information about the environment in which they lived? Why do we not realize that our physical bodies are a system that can sustain itself whereas our technology, that is not a bad and can be used to help us help ourselves, cannot self sustain?

Do we realize our actions of an inflated memory are not considering reality as the events surrounding us make so visible as a structure that divides unto itself? 

Can we see that the solution is to rebuild a structure that moves from problem into solution, reversing reactions as the consequence of problems, correcting imbalances as providing the basic needs a physical life requires to reach the potential inherent in the design?

I/we must begin to direct ourselves within a principle of what is best for all, as this is what is best for us. We can close a circle divided unto itself through respecting all life, assessing all things, valuing them as life, and ground ourselves back into real living. Thus will the machine as our physical expressions of life fill with the sum of all parts, creating a world that resonates life. Like a renaissance, a more transformative revolution, taking that which is good and does no harm as this is the MO of creation. This is the real stewardship of men on earth. This is real love, where the parts as the ‘I’ and the ‘O’  become greater than a self divided unto itself.  Each one/1 standing  as oneness/O and equality is greater/> than each divided unto itself as life. l+O > e

Day 617 The measure of myself here.

The measure of myself

In dealing with people and presenting the measure of my understanding, I react. It is as though the patience to follow through, to let go and to move with the measure of what is here is not fluent. This means I am getting stuck on beliefs, opinions and ideas in and as the measure of my experience, the measure of my awareness. The gift of life is placed right in front of us, as this actual physical world, and I have abdicated that life in believing that what I think, as the composition of my thoughts as the measure of my experiences is more real. Really astounding- which is an interesting word, because it has the word sound imbedded within it, and the letters a and t . Like the alpha and the omega, where the a is the starting point as the alphabet, where I use the letters to create words to bet with others, to win, when the gift is already given, as the physical as life which is the value. And, the t is the choice, the crossroads of my choice, the apple of my eye, where I decide to respect the tree of life as the physical, or a belief in a good and or a bad in and as value judgements in and as the process of believing that one thing is bad and another is good which is creating a relationship to myself as my idea of myself as an accumulation of my experiences that I allow to begin to define me, as direct me, and then I, if I do not realize this, begin to blame the outside world because it is not moving as my experience manifest as my thoughts, created from comparison. Comparison is not necessarily a bad. When comparison is used in self interest and not realized as such, what is moved into is value judgements in defense of one’s experience instead of for what the qualities as the characteristics of what something is which is evident in the utility of the form. Thus, it is astounding that I sound my inner experience turned value judgement over remaining in equality to and with life, as the physical to sound in accord with this physical which is the means of life, the gift placed right here in front of us, as life would be and do, because this is how it would work in all practical common sense.

Thus, when I worry about rejection, or what someone might or might not say, I am separating myself from being here. I am not realizing the very gift of myself as life in practice in measure, in awareness of using this sense that reads/senses my experiential memory and directing this to practical physical reality and realizing that I can as this that can move from mind memory to here awareness is always right here in all ways, it is fluid, it is mutable, it can sense time and space, here, it can move with limitation, accept it, speak up, cross reference, double check, slow down and ground me back here, to as myself as life, realize the volume of practical reality - and the divisions and limited information of our present accepted and allowed system that dis-regards this in self interest, as this system is simply a reflection of the separation from using self as life to common sense physical reality as the formation of life. I am not going to go into this here, one can investigate this systemic form that is a smoke and mirrors show bullied through a media ( my god)  using the quality of human nature that takes in information and utilizes it- like being programmed- until it defines self, or, one could say, is believed to be a truth, and then the physical is forced into the limited construct, which overall is very destructive and cannot and will not work. Just think about how unpure the very air is in our world, and our waters, and realize that ripping apart the physical to fit into an idea about  what is more and what is less, is an abdication of self as life. Period. Can’t work. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can change and equalize to life and work together to get this destruction cleaned up.  We have essentially allowed the majority of humans to serve the building of a pyramid. The moment a laborer is no longer useful they are turned out, and, as we can see, the laws are geared towards criminalizing the homeless- those who have been turned out. So, basically, if you as a human serve no purpose in the building of this pyramid, you are compost. lol Yes, that is basically what you are useful for. That idea of yourself as your mind, it is a sitcom that has become a program that is no longer wanted. Can you blame the pyramid? No, they are just another program, one that is in separation from life.  

Thus if I take the measure as another television, program, personally, I am fearing to not have my program, my television, my experience accepted. Yet, in understanding that I can change, because what I am within is only a measure of what I belief, I can reformat this and cross reference what might be the understanding of another and become a relationship to practical physical reality as my starting point and ground myself within all this to direct, with investigation of that which is good and does no harm, because nothing can define me unless I accept and allow it, and the physical is always right here, standing with me, always was, and always will be, as the physical is life information, it is the sound of what can withstand the test of time, it is the technology of life in formation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to respect life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the value is myself as life equal and one to and as the physical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what I am within as a personification of my experience of reality as the physical need not define who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not let go, with every breath, in every moment, what I have accepted and allowed to define me, as value judgements of one thing being more than another, an act of comparison and competition which is ultimately an illusion, and myself in separation from myself as life, and for this I forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that what exists as myself within as a reflection which is a shadow of reality, defines who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, when and as I have no agreement with another in thought word and deed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and ground myself here in practical reality, and to allow myself to not resist what is here, as what is here can change and move into understanding form and function as the practice of living in a physical manifestation of life as life would.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life, believing that what I construct as my experience as my inner selective value system, to be greater than life itself as life is physical and here, where I can live in the moment and become equal and one to and as it, to express myself life here, to focus here and direct myself in ways that do no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing my experience as though in losing this I would not have any memory, like photo albums to show off my experiences to tout as what I  am, in fear that I would not survive in this system, when in all practical reality the value is being here, equal and one with and as life as the physical, because this is creation information, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to move into protection and self defense, which is myself constructing myself with in, as though I am grabbing onto my experience, memory that I have allowed to define me,  I stop and I breath, I slow myself down and I asses what measure I have accepted and allowed that is of energy, and I forgive that which I fear to lose, and I see, realize and understand that I am here, that the value is being physical as life, that what is within me can change and ground here, into and as what is of sound mind and as such can withstand the test of time, and become equal and one to the measure of space as the physical as life in expression that is eternal, and to then not fear change, as change is the process of transformation only, which is actually fun.

When and as I find myself moving into a stagnant self protective act of blame and spite, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I cross reference my accepted and allowed measure as belief, that has embedded into the physical through repetition, and I forgive and change as direct in common sense of practical reality, to and towards that which is good and does no harm and becomes an expression of respect for all life as me in another life form here.