Day 548 Personalities within a group meeting.

I notice three personalities come up this past week, and I have had a tension headache ever since.

One was a projection into the future, a desire to make some headway, the second was a  past personification of failure, as in fear of making a mistake, and the third was a dislike for a certain figure in the group which was based on a fear of not being listened to by a position of authority.

Within this, I notice a subsequent physical symptom returning.

I had to slow down and breath, realizing that I was present to take one step forward only. This was accomplished. So, why am I allowing this reaction within?

First, I realize it was not a situation/scenario to accomplish an expectation I had within myself. So, I can let this go. But the reaction I had within myself is the issue.

The thought was that I did not know how to approach these people, and within this, I became anxious, even though I told myself that I was there to meet people and nothing else. This was simply a step to another step, which ended up working out.

The meeting was not exactly what I had been told the meeting was, so there was this as well, which was okay. There ended up being a speaker who talked most of the time, and not too long after many people left. 

Even though I used some common sense, still there was this personification of myself feeling like I did not know how to speak with others.

As long as I am wanting to achieve a goal and measure myself within having completed the goal, I missed realizing all the steps in between and so, jumped ahead of myself, overwhelmed myself and was not present in the moment. 

I noticed that I had back chat about the people who were present and wanted to blame them for my uncertainty. So, I slowed down and breathed, and realized that my mind will miss-steps within a process, and if I allow myself to follow the measure of my mind, I think only of myself, and not only separate myself from common sense, but also, create my own friction within communication with others. This is the survival me, the person who wants to succeed. And then in my mind I am like the hissing of a snake instead of looking at practical reality.

I also noticed another personality, one that blamed myself, jumping into a conclusion that I cannot communicate, burdening myself with a feeling of un-worth. But here, the polar opposite of the righteous character,  I was not of equal measure to common sense, to space and time. Within this, I can only realize how the physical works and the measure of separation that is in others that is the same as myself, in a world where men have a cognitive map, an abstract composed of bits and pieces of aspects of practical reality, that are racing within as mind, a composition of limited measure of what is real, the physical world, a suit of hierarchy.

Then, facing the “authority” in the room. Here, based on my past, I wanted to avoid talking with this person, because I believed that one mis-step and all communication would be dismissed and cut off. 

This is myself being doom and gloom based on an idea from a past that I am allowing to define me, and it's not myself in common sense here. So many times I imagine things before they happen, and I am so busy imagining them that I either do not prepare, as some situations need some preparation, or am embarrassed and/or surprised when my idea is not the outcome.

I have lived long enough to know this is true, so I have countered this at times. But, here I was on this day, in a moment, separating from just being practical and enjoying myself. 

So, when I find myself in such a situation, I have to slow down, breath, and realize that as a physical being on a physical formation as what life would be, that I can be here, in common sense of how the physical works. I need not fear what is in separation from common sense of practical physical reality, because in essence what we all seek is right here, right in front of us, and this is the same that allows one to walk through the eye of the needle, which is to be equal and one with and as the physical which simply means to be equal in measure and thus respectful of common sense to the way and the means of life, which is the physical world.

(And, this is in common sense, I mean one does not walk into some of the consequences of a system of inequality, a system of survival that is abusing the gift of life that is the physical world). 

Day 539 The Me-sure as Mind Consciousness

Ego will never grasp the simplicity of self forgiveness. Bernard Poolman

Many times when I find myself solving a problem, the solution is there in a moment, it is of a common sense awareness, and it comes with ease. I respond with a sense of awe, wondering how and why I did not see something so simple in the first place. This happens a lot within the Desteni I Process.

This happens so often, that when I am not humble and at ease, moving here in this way, I have once again allowed myself to become the chaos of the mind. I am moving within a very very limited awareness, as I allow myself to follow a very limited construct that has become a concrete abstract of reality. It even uses the very substance of reality, as the physical to exist.

This happened yesterday. I had a fear, and idea, a theory about something I had to do. I began to “ think” about it, but not in relation to a practical common sense. Finally, I decided that I could only walk reality once I was within the situation I had allowed ideas built from uncertainty, as fear, to begin to infiltrate my being, here.

Interesting, that as I write this out, I am suddenly heavy with tiredness, just as what happened yesterday when I got to this point of letting my picture show go, and realizing that I can only address the situation in reality. Also, to note, that I had the practice and the principle of what is best for all as my framework.

This tiredness does have a thought, here, it is “ I am tired of trying to explain..”  Behind this, is a memory of trying to explain in so many ways, forgetting within this that learning to explain something in very simple ways takes time. Also, that I have to explain from experience, meaning real live practical experiences that I realized I had moved in a way that was in separation from what is simple, which is what is best for all. Always, there was division and ideas of losing something within a limited measure, a limited paradigm, a PARA digm that i had accepted and allowed within and as me. The tick tock of the pendulum from weighing and measuring the good and the bad, the “ what if” based on a picture within a system that is the same separation from reality. This chaos,  through division into more of less,  used values to determine choice, when that moment of simplicity, is found standing outside of this chaos of division into good and bad. This means to realize the physical world as the real sound expression. This physical world’s sound expression when left to itself , without a human consciousness mind-made-bigger-than-reality-consciousness, will naturally organize itself, balance itself, so it is here, in the real world that I see and can become symbiotic with what is me, the same as me, here. And this is the inclusion of all that is here, accepting all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I am tired of trying to explain.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become my mind only, and to believe that there is only an either/or outcome of win or lose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare within a measure of win or lose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, from this point, go into self judgement within a limited criteria of what is good and bad in relation to how I look, how I speak, my capacity based on my past of an innerstructure that I relate to as a late/past measure of what defines success according to a system of inequality where I slow down and I breath, and I stabilize into  what is the real value, which is myself participating, equal and one to the very sound of life here, which moves with the absolute purpose as a function information of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be ashamed of myself for not considering all life as me, with each thought, word, and deed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fault myself, which is myself as a starting point in default of realizing that what is here as the physical is the means of my existence is the sound as the formation that moves in practical ways, on which I impose a limited construct as the very being of myself in a state of separation where I place value on limited aspects of multiple expressions of life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as an idea that I am not good enough, and as this to go into self pity, the pit of self as mind, operating within a limited measure manifest as a vapid , a vapor that is destruction instead of creation, a smoke and mirrors show, a valley of good and evil, that I allow as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that in fearing, inferring such insight as what existence is, as mind, I am in essence, not equal and one with and as myself as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I fear facing the storm of separation in others, I am accepting and allowing a fear of loss of what is a construct of limited values of good and bad, as I have allowed to define me, which is myself not looking here, seeing the patterns of separation, and as such myself not existing within common sense, and as such, this physical movement within and as me, becomes a heavy physical sensation of an inequality with that simplicity and humility that moves with ease, here, and as such, finds solutions and the directive capacity that is equality and oneness with and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this default state of being, as mind, has no directive function because it is clouded by a fear of making a mistake, which is in itself an abdication of equality and oneness with and as the physical, and myself projecting based on a past as the details that build the judgement that does not move with the sound information of the physical that is life, here, of which I as life an one and equal to and as.

When and as i find myself becoming tired, I stop and I breath, and i slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I can only face separation from common sense, and realize the patterns of separation as the voice of separation, as a separation is always on the lookout for reunion with the loss and/or looking for the loss as a gain, and as such visible, and able to be called out by name and realigned into solution as self discovery within and as the principle of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself having the thought of “ I am tired of explaining” I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see the that i am allowing the word “ explain” as an idea become bigger than actual common sense participation with and as life, as I can only have an explanation in the moment, here, thus the idea of explaining, I have accepted and allowed as an entity within and as me, that I am carrying as a burden, having allowed myself to become overwhelmed, which is myself in separation from common sense as that which can exist in simplicity, as equality and oneness here, where solutions are found that are stable and withstand the test of time here.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that explaining something is tedious and as such a burden.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become this ambiguous idea that explaining  is difficult.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory, as a measure of myself here, of which I have allowed to become an entity as a self definition as a belief, that becomes a burden as this state of being I allow within,  as what directs me in the moment here, slowing down the common sense ability of myself that can only walk the details of practical living, step by step, here.

When and as I find myself believing that explaining is tedious and a burden, I stop and I breath, and I do not define myself as an idea as my past, and I realize that self correction takes practical alignment, here, in common sense of the physical reality, and that the solution is always right there in front of me, and can move with ease, thus it is only what I accept as mind that is the separation, here.

When and as I find myself fearing the reactions of mind, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that reactions as mind, are a definition that is ambiguous, and that this when used to define must deconstruct to reconstruct, which is a process that at times will react to change, and as such that reactions are objections to change, of which the only solution is to walk through with humility and patience, here. as what is allways the only way and means of life, is life itself, the expression, the creation of which, is to exist within and as what is best for all.

When and as I find my self becoming heavy within and as my head area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am stable, and breathing with ease, I realize that the process of remediation, as the me-sure as mind, is in a process of change, and reformatting to walk in equal measure with practical physical reality, where I become the directive principle, equal and one to and as life here, and within this, that a speeding car, has to slow down and turn, when changing from a high speed and that that turn appears to be a loss, a nonmoving moment, but in essence this is a movement that is not a value, simply a movement, a transformation from separation into common sense as mind structure.

Day 500 Addressing the Paranormal: Our Cognitive Maps

Addressing the Para-Normal, our cognitive maps.

In my life I have encountered entities floating in the air, voices coming out of a white light, neon crystals floating above my head, bluish neon lights in front of the eyes of children as they spoke  as though they were reading but did not read the actual words on the page in front of them.

I don’t know where this comes from, the only thing I can think of, is that i have studied music for a long time. I mean, the study of a musical instrument demands looking at subtle movement, and concentration on the form to shape it. I have mastered this on some level, which I realize could even be greater than the levels I reached.

I also have a history in my family of seeing paranormal events, namely my father. My mother completely ignores this. I really could only talk about it with my father. And he has told me of other members of the family on his side that also has some of these abilities, and interestingly enough, this side of the family was heavily involved in music. 

Before I found desteni, I was working with children. I had taught children violin and knew that point where a stable understanding of the instrument, an awareness of the instrument, got to a point where that child could then focus on what was played to begin to shape it and form it, without being overwhelmed with the physical mechanics of the instrument.  They had accumulated enough understanding of the structure of the total to self direct. Unfortunately, at this point they would often stop playing. Usually this was the preteen years. I think of some recent films where the behaviors of animals change once reproduction desires step forward. Somehow, all control is lost, and focus on this becomes bigger than actual self development. And it is self development that leads to greater stability in the long run. That a child walks from a growing self directive capacity into all the trappings of how to look, becoming more focused on how they look to match what is a commercialized idea of how we should look, is an unbalance that is disruptive of a development in overall focus of our capacity.

But, if we look at what we are allowing to be impulsed in the media, which effects all of us, and has for generations, then we can begin to understand that our cognitive maps are  unbalanced. And we know that we develop an inner map because we all have memories swimming around in our minds. So, the images in and as our minds are a paranormal existence and this is so, because when our children are born they have no language, no religion, no education. They become the measure of what the collective allows, as all the divisions of value measure that defines behaviors and personas expressed in the various cultures and belief systems around the world. We all know this to be true, because it is considered a value to travel and expose oneself to other cultures, to realize more subtle ways of measuring things, meaning looking at things, which overall creates a deeper awareness, that leads to more capacity in communication, more flexibility. All of which begs the question as to why, if our awareness can expand, this is not granted and purposely given to all children and humans as men on earth. 

If we look at the economic web, and the resource extraction  and development web, we can see that it is a system of measure, as division as the resources into goods and services and the transfer of these values into money. The transfer of the values created into money have created a para-normal existence, which divides opportunity for men to become aware as in being exposed to the abundance of expressive capacity of the human via direct interaction with the total of what they are doing, why they are doing it, and the effects of what they do. 

If the manifestation of division into limited scenarios of exposure goes on the some generations, this begins to generate its own limitation, as that limitation becomes the para-normal picture, as a cognitive map within that human as the memories of previous generations as what was lived becomes the model for the child.. 

If children do not have the opportunity to place their sensibility into an awareness of the structure of here, as in our world in total, as if this world were an instrument, no different than a violin, and another behavior is impulsed out of balance, because it is a commodity in a system where money has been allowed unbalanced division and that idea/image impulsing was a limited depth perception, this would become the directive of the child. And, that paranormal ability of men, as memory builders who build cognitive maps, made larger than the norm, as the physical vehicle, could be used to hold a division from that norm, as the physical, to allow a diversion ( interesting, di-version) from what is real, because it is only what is real that can be used to create, which is the physical earth. it is only what is real that can be used to create excess for a few, because that paranormal map, is not what is real. That paranormal map can warp the map reader’s directive, render the instrument out of normal order, for an idea of a more than, that is only an idea, and as that idea, it limits a fully sensual interaction as life. In this way, what is right in front of us, that is normalcy, that is the ultimate fulfillment, as the norm is being life, the vehicle of life, is the physical. In other words, there is no real peace on earth until our cognitive maps are equal to the physical reality. Being equal to physical reality means moving ourselves in ways that create a mean that does no harm to any living thing. This “ mean” can only be a mean of equality. There is no other way. And this “ mean” is of an awareness that is so much greater than any paranormal picture could ever possible be.

Our cognitive maps must be concretely grounded with physical reality. This means building an understanding of how our present system moves in every division within every child and that this is the responsibility of each of us. This means that no one adult can expect another adult and the collective of adults within the systems of this present paranormal existence made bigger than the physical as what has been accepted and allowed,  abdicate looking at how the child is developing and actively participating within that development. Thus, the real responsibility of  everyone, which is the same as saying not one parent can expect any other person to direct their child. It only works with total focus and involvement of the parent. And as we have allowed a paranormal existence for generations, to get ourselves/our children out of this, to normalize their awareness and thus build their self directive capacity, will take efforts beyond what the present system offers. But this is already known, were it not, then there would not be tutors, and private music lessons, and very expensive private schools. In our created world, either one has the skill and teaches this to the child, or one pays another to do this, and the costs of this are great, because that person teaching the skill beyond the lowest common denominator required by the general education as what a public school can afford,  is worth its weight in gold - so to speak - because it is understood on many levels what we are allowing, and that the way out of the limitation within the present system is so valuable that the costs of really developing a child, more than pay for themselves in the long run. A child that is more aware, whose cognitive map is more equal in understanding and able to read the subtle values of division that build the separations and abstracts this into a whole, has a much greater chance of survival, is more stable, and can stand and  become that which would begin to balance out the whole. Of course, conversely, the suppression of this natural ability would eliminate competition.  Those that have maps that are also of limitation, that have an impulsed directive that is a belief that they are more, are also in separation from realizing the value being life, and the means of this being that all have  in essence been following what is a para-normal cognitive map that is unequal with the physical world. The physical world is what is life. The physical world is what is normal. The physical world is creation, it is what we accept and allow. As we can see, what we are allowing is destroying it.

In the end, the only way out is that each become self responsible.  It is self in abdication of normalcy ( which is the real abundance)  in not being involved and aware in every detail, which simply means looking at the physical, and the accepted systems of not having looked directly and instead using a paranormal map, that has caused the present system. And the present paranormal fabric in place as a directive can only be equalized to what is real as the physical, from every point holding the separation in place, and that is each and every one of us.

It is not as difficult as one might think, and the step of becoming self responsible, is what alleviates the burden of limitation, because it is the limitation that each is trying to make real that is self in a stagnant sludge of heavy impossibility that on one dimension is a layer of neon lights that can be seen if one really looks, that clogs the free flow gift of life - as a common sense to here- that is that inner map imitating the limited values impulsed as ideals of more than creating judgement of less than and behaviors of comparison and competition instead of being forgiving and thus thankful/grateful of self as life. The irony is that it is in equality and oneness, being equal to the structure of the physical object as this earth, that exists the real expression of self as life, which has no sense of burden, no weight, no heaviness in the body,  no bitter after taste, no separation from the ability of each of us to become equal and one in understanding one another and the existence of earth as the value being life, here. The structure must be one of equality with the physical. This means democratic movement, at every point with every person, on the ground directly. This means one vote, for every person, within the choices made for the use of the natural resources given freely as earth, because it is the physical that allows the expression of life.

In all, it is to stand equal and one with that para-normal cognitive map, and to realize it is composed of energy that can be brought back to what sustains self as life, of sound mind. As this, this wall is flexible, not stable as reality, not clear, yet visible because its lack of stability is transparent. The sense of joy, is the movement of self, realizing that one is not alone, because one is all one as the substance of self as life, considering and respecting all life, as being self, and that this is the value.

Our para-normal cognitive maps are a mind consciousness system that is formed using limited values, structured as hierarchy, dividing insight from form and function of the physical in common sense, which is the self that built the map, that is self as sound. It is time to build as sound mind, that is self in equality and oneness with and as life, as what self is, equal and one to the physical.

What's in Your Map? DIP Lite FREE

Day 496 Democratic Behavior, Childhood Cancer and Reality on the Ground.

"Researchers have raised young monkeys and rats in ways such that they are allowed other types of social interactions but are deprived of play. When these animals are tested, in young adulthood, they are emotional cripples. When placed in a moderately frightening environment, they overreact with fear. They panic and freeze in a corner and never explore the environment and overcome the fear as a normal monkey or rat would. When placed with an unfamiliar peer, they may alternate between panic and inappropriate, ineffective aggression. They are incapable of making friends."

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/give-childhood-back-to-children-if-we-want-our-offspring-to-have-happy-productive-and-moral-lives-we-must-allow-more-time-for-play-not-less-are-you-listening-gove-9054433.html#!

Here we have an article talking about how children having time to play with one another, can develop democratic skills. And yet, there are studies that have been done that suppress the development of democratic movement in animals. Interesting that there is less recess time in our schools. And: ( I have to note that the article below first appeared  with an image that said , "Cancer ( is) #1 cause of Childhood Death in the U.S. The number one reason blamed for childhood death used to be accidents; now its cancer", but evidently the facts were retracted and the article I posted was part of this retraction)

”"But with cancer, it is black and white.  There is no “cancer spectrum.”  And the numbers are going up. Almost 37 kids are diagnosed with the condition every day.  And while science has eliminated many other causes, the incidence of invasive pediatric cancer is up 29% in the last twenty years.”

http://blogs.prevention.com/inspired-bites/2013/11/14/cancer-now-the-leading-cause-of-childhood-death-in-the-u-s/

So, we have more cancer occurring in our children, in a world that has a media that describes things in ways that do not reveal what is actually going on in our world. Perhaps this lie by omission is because if we humans knew what was really going on, we would change. What does this tell us about our selves on some level? It tells us that somewhere, within us, we would not put up with this mess. Which means that we are not stupid, and that what we are allowing is simply unacceptable.

I mean, this article below shows us what is going on. With the retraction of the cancer rates in children, and the studies that learn the outcomes of suppressing life, creating behaviors where we cower in fear,  which is what many of us are doing within not paying attention and believing we cannot stand up and change what is unacceptable, can we  begin to see what in fact is happening and what we are all accepting and allowing on so many levels? And, how we can be programmed.

"“Despite the global economic crisis in 2009, Egypt managed to sustain a 4.7% growth in GDP — an enviable rate for most countries — largely due to strong growth fundamentals [and] effective market reforms.” The market reforms — that is, the privatization programs — had indeed raised the country’s GDP, but only by creating an enormous real estate and water speculation bubble for those with the right connections. In 2010, the World Bank praised Egypt as “among the world’s ten most active reformers,” citing “impressive poverty reduction” and “rapid economic growth.” The Bank promised to continue supporting “Egypt’s reforms in the water supply and sanitation sector,” including its policy of cost recovery and privatization. [25] Then, in January 2011, the nation rose up, and many wondered how the World Bank could have gotten it so wrong. [26]"

http://earthfirstjournal.org/newswire/2014/01/06/revolution-of-the-thirsty-egypt-and-the-privatization-of-water/

I suggest watching The Century of Self, and The Four Horsemen, to begin to have some understanding of what we have accepted and allowed as humans on this earth. Humans that are capable of acting democratically. It is time to work together as stewards of this earth, and realize that a life of dignity means  working together in ways that support all life.

Support a Living Income Guarantee. It is time to join together and put an end to one human being more than another. And yes, our development is unequal, but this is by design, and that design can change. Let’s prove we are worthy of life.