Day 89 Attention Seeking

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want attention.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that when I do not get attention it is a lack in another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to defensively spite another, wish another insignificance when my attentions are not considered important.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to control what is talked about, what is discussed, what is focused upon.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have developed a character that wants attention and focus through discussing knowledge and information, facts and opinions, ideas and beliefs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become someone who is the character of talking about things in compensation to the norm of what is considered beautiful in and as my sisters who had a lot of attention from men.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I did not get attention for speaking about knowledge and information I would blame the receiver of what I had to say as being arrogant and unable to understand, as what I was was humiliation and hurt in believing I was rejected.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in believing I did not have the pretty face of my sisters I had to use another way and means of getting attention, thus I began to talk about knowledge and information as a way to get attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I repeat the same behaviors again and again, as I have become the character of anger at being pushed away where attention was denied, and then I felt humiliated and became spiteful towards the object not attending to me, which I have done with people and with things, when the “car” for instance does not function.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in wanting my own opinions, beliefs and ideas, as knowledge and information validated, I am in essence asking for attention, and attention to me will never be the scenario as the words spoken are what is attended to and not myself, as the words are the “music” listened to, where it is not about me, it is about the “music” as the movement of what is here, where what is real, is self as life, where the principle of oneness in equality, as directive, is self expressing self as life , here thus within this life is the music.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am expecting attention, and when this is not given, I become spiteful in humiliation, as I fear no longer having attention, as having someone pay attention to me is a self validation, and singular in that what I want is purely attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand , that my spite is my self being reactive, being defensive, using blame as my attack, when attention is not payed to myself, where attention in and as itself can,never be given, as it is the being of self here in and as an expression of life as the living word, as life that is what is real and not an idea of getting attention or giving attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to listen to the stories of others, to respond to what others have to say in and as hearing their story within the principle of directing as what is best for all, as what is best for all is what is best for them, and to not stop within the story within basking in a stagnant emotion, but in moving what is here within being what is best for all as what is best for self is best for all, within the principle of oneness in equality, where no one is more or less than another, and what exists is life expressing itself as life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a character wanting attention, wanting all eyes on myself here, instead of realizing that all that is here is life, and thus accepting all that is here as one and equal to me, where no one thing is greater than another, and all is supported in and as what it is as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that myself as seeking attention, is myself in separation from myself as life, as I am here, thus I am life, thus there is no need to seek life as I am it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a system that denies life is an absolute atrocity, that in denying life it is obvious that life is not seen, thus those who take and deny sustenance to what is here on this earth, in fact cannot see life, and are in separation from life, living in an illusion believed to be real when the fact that death in non-awareness is the outcome of the human signifies this non-awareness of life, the acceptance of the illusion and the propagation of a belief that what is here on this earth as the physical cannot be understood would be what is expressed within a system that denies life and exists as survival/competition/profit/ division and conquer.

I commit myself to realizing that the character in and as myself seeking attention is myself in separation from life.

I commit myself to seeing that if a system is based on promoting self interest then, this very same system is in fact ignoring/not seeing/lost to what is real, as this physical world, where the act of withholding food and sustenance such as water and shelter to what is here as this physical world as life, is an act of serving the interests of attending to oneself only and not attending to life, as self has been made huge as more than anything else, and thus is self as this ego, in separation from what is real, life here.

I commit myself to realizing that the only thing to attend to is life, and that this is denied as money has been created as what is attended to, as money is resource made separate from life to allow the attentions of self in separation from life to exist in the illusion of self interest, where there is in fact no interest born as self as life has not lived a life of forgiveness of self as life, as life is giving as one  would like to receive, as this earth gives without ownership, it simply gives as it is life.

Earth's Journey to Life

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Reptilians - The Emergence of Anu

Self Awareness Steps for the Elite

Day 88 Worry and the Future

Day 88

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the worry wart.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I was always told that a little worry was good.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that to worry is to look into the future.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that to look into the future is not myself being here, and thus is myself looking into the future based on experiences from the past.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that all I can be one with and direct myself as is what is here, present in this moment here, thus to worry about what is not here is to worry about something that is within my imagination and thus is not real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to know what will be in the future, not realizing that this is not myself being life here, one and equal as life , to life, which is this physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, that to worry about the future is actually to doubt what is real, to disrespect life as what is real, as what is here, and to follow what is the morality of fear that is what is taught by a system of separation from life, manifest within and as a profit based system on an unconditionally giving earth, where the outer world reflect the inner allowances of men in and as beliefs , opinions and ideas that are in separation from life, in doubt and ignorance of life, as life is what gives all that is here, where the earth gives without name and ownership, where the earth suffers abuse in the patience that men will realize that the only choice is to give as one would like to receive, the earth being the model and likeness of giving unconditionally.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that is of worry, as the voices in and as my mind, are of a language taught and thus learned, where animals do not speak, yet, like a dog, gives unconditionally, an action more considerate of life than the present system of men, that allows money to represent  resource, and then allows this money  to be owned by a few, to withhold unconditionally given sustenance, where many are starving at the hands of such accepted and allowed actions that are an atrocity and create disease as disease is the outcome of the physical not given sustenance, where this sustenance is here, as this earth, being unconditionally giving as this is life, as this is what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to, as those who have signed their names on the paper of trees to signify ownership/ownershit,  to control my own world, as this is what i have been taught, evident within my own action, as my mind, of fearing the future, worrying about the future, trying to organize the future in and as fear of loss, wanting to control, an illusion causing disease, as I am in separation from life within this.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this worry about the future is a character developed through the words explaining morality taught to me as a child, in separation from life, where I was not taught to be what I am, and where I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life, through worrying about the future and thus disrespecting myself as life.

I commit myself to stopping myself from worry, from wanting to control and know the future, which is myself in and as fear.

I commit myself to breath, where I remain here, and I stop the voices in and as my mind until I become one and equal to life here.

I commit myself to stop myself in and as my mind from wanting to know the future which is my self fearing a loss of comfort and an existence as all that i know.

I commit myself to stopping myself from thinking about the future, remaining here in breath every moment not allowing myself to go into being a character of worry.

I commit myself to stopping myself from thinking about the future in and as worry, and remaining here in breath.

Life Review- Obsessed with my Furure