Teach Talking as the Education of Experience Day 735

I played music for so long that I got to the point where when a mistake happened it meant correcting something, that is all.  There was no one to blame only the correction to make.

I remember a stand partner, who rushed at a certain point and myself becoming irritated because of this rushing. I could hear how the section was practiced. This player, who was capable, played the section as though it were an exercise. Within this, it means the group was no longer the connection, it was a meter and a line directing the player, without sensing the greater movement of the group. Thus, this stand partner was always a little ahead of the group movement. For me this meant having something else to listen to, the group’s rhythm and her rhythm. It is standing in a space with movement and there are conflicting movements happening. So that I do not become my stand partners ‘ meter in a space’ I had to listen past this player to remain grounded in the movement of the whole musical group.  My thought, laced with irritation, was that rushing through a section because one is either afraid of it, or does not really know it well enough (same thing) is not fun, lol, is not fundamental, meaning is not remaining grounded, as in listening to the whole and moving with it.  I also thought that this partner probably did not have the time to practice the piece, as the money paid for performing with this group, was not enough to allow that more careful practice. 

This stand partner probably had too many other things to do in the name of survival.  I know that because one can be asked to perform, and the idea of a payment that includes the time it takes to get musicians together to practice, is something that appears to not be in the awareness of the entities paying to have a performance, they do not seem to remember all the background time spent getting to a point where a person, and especially a group, comes together to make the desired music requested! So many times, I simply sight read themusic, yet, could hear that a greater intimacy and expression could be what was presented if there were but one or even two rehearsals. Everything starts to become a rush job, which ends up compounding over time, into such things as I experienced, as a stand partner who rushes in a certain section, no longer caring, just wanting to get through, even though, this person was probably aware of this, and did the best they could. They were uncomfortable afterwards, a subtle tension happening, which indicates a sense of not being in sync. We are, very aware, and very capable, we know what we do. We hear the backlash of justifications that are like a post balancing act to excuse our actions. This overall, reveals the means to correction is inherent in us at all times. We must become the living math of creation, accepting nothing but what balances us in being present in real time, with here, on this earth. This earth is the real orchestrated creation, capable of balancing itself out, to remain in harmony. lol, remain embracing here, or, wrapping our arms around here. Here is the ‘ oneness’ another word within the word harmony. The ‘y’ being an ‘ i’ as though we are individual and yet one at the same time. 

My point here, is reacting with irritation, is self interest and the projection of blame. In this case being annoyed that I have to counter movement with my stand partner, I have to listen to them and the whole, and remain balanced, where it would be more natural for us to move together, more pleasing, as I have had this experience too. Being in synch with the neighboring musician is fun. The being in synch is fundamental and thus more grounded. That feels more stable than countering movements. That I allow a countering movement to disturb me, where I react,  is not standing in stability. I should know enough, within experience, to know that listening and remaining stable, within the whole, is a greater state, as it often is then followed, and movements will naturally rebalance in space. Thus, reaction only fuels the fire of imbalance.

This brings me to the point of facing resistances, which are really only ‘ not having the whole story’ or a lack of addressing limitations. It is like getting stuck in a meter, or a measure, as an idea, or the consequence of such practice, as in not being up to a speed of considering some aspects.  In this, one is leaving a part of one’s self behind and enetering a bubble of contrasting beats lacking connection to the whole. This separation in turn will be the voice, will be the seeming resistance, and the ensuing justifications will reverberate, just as they have within myself, and as a tension between two people. as that justification happens in silence, yet is present in the space. With my stand partner, it meant a couple of rehearsals where we did not speak to one another, as though we were hiding that past, it being too close to the moment and thus remembered. Things like this happen a lot within the inherent intimacy of playing an instrument, where the body is so focused on time and space. One cannot hide. After all, we have a saying in music that if one can hear the player thinking, they do not really know the piece. One plays in such a way, that the listener cannot hear the thinking. 

My point here, is that the state of not being connected, in any given situation, will cause the storm of separation, as all the justifications and beliefs come forward. There is no escaping it.  The solution is to never react, as I did with irritation, it only fuels the fire. I must expect the limitations, not allow them to irritate me, and to the best of my ability, listen to what is here, and ground myself within that, telling the real story, bringing it back to myself, as who and what I am as a physical being, here.  

I said something yesterday in the presence of two other people. Immediately there was a reaction.  The one person that reacted, did not speak, they simply made a grunting noise. lol.  I wanted the person to speak up, yet, in some ways they could not.  They needed more information before speaking up. For me, it is allowing such things to happen not expecting them or resisting them, as in so many ways I am in an orchestrated set body of information that has lost its connection to the whole. Thus, every move is grounding myself no matter what. This means, bringing it back to self/

What precipitated this blog is a message written by one of our autistic children. 

“DARING EACH TALKING PERSON TO WALK IN SILENCE FOR PEOPLE TO USE EDUCATION IN EXPERIENCE. YES. GIVE THE CHALLENGE. TEACH TALKING IS SO MEANINGFUL WHEN YOU LIVE WITHOUT IT DAILY LIKE ME AND FELLOW TYPERS"

Here is the link to the video:

https://www.facebook.com/leslie.h.weed/videos/10206438532902033/?pnref=story

It is that statement of “ daring each person to walk in silence ( and ) for people to use EDUCATION IN EXPERIENCE. 

Then, to place this statement into “ teach talking” is astounding, as it means, for me, that this woman is saying to only speak, to only talk, from real experience. It suggests for me, that this autistic person is saying that there is too much speaking about things that one has no real experience with and as, This means that we all talk within speaking memorized theories about things, which have no real substance, and thus, cannot really be heard because there is no real understanding. This means so few speak or move from being present, from experience, from real living. This child realizes that few are really listening, few are hearing the silence, to then speak in consideration of what is here, what is real. She is saying, for me, that speaking from real experience has much greater substance, and thus meaning, and that without this, life is very difficult. 

Within this, I realize that when I bring whatever information comes towards me, back to self, back to my living experiences, as practical things I have done, I can tell a real story, one that has greater meaning in that it can be shared and given, as real solutions, even within grounding my own mistakes from speaking as theory before real experience. To do this often means listening to myself and what it means to practice being here, in this reality, on this earth. 

In terms of my experiences within music, instead of blaming and spiting, it is to realize how the present system influences outcomes, and to not become irritated, to remain as much as possible within being grounded and stable, to the point where I ‘ teach talking’ through an educing, or education ( of) experience opposed to theory- as something I memorized or lived within my imagination only, without real practical application.  With my stand partner, it might have been to say something like, ‘ I sometimes have to become more mechanical than present, because I do not always have the time to practice a section because I am so busy making a living” Such a statement might not allow the space to change this, immediately, yet it will not inflame a situation. Instead it will bring in more compassion, a compass of understanding that in turn creates a more peaceful environment that then causes less tension, opening more space to process this reality. This would change the very nature of the next time a passage comes along that is not integrated as well as one would want, and be played in such a way that there is more awareness of the self in relation to the surroundings, and what then is played, is a ‘ talking’ that is more aware of a real experience. Often such insight opening, in itself, begins a self correction because there is more space and time, than we are aware of when lost in reactions, to live a real change into being more aware, present and grounded. It is in this space that corrections are made, are lived. 

Thus, when I talk, when I speak, I bring it back to myself, and I fear nothing, because I am here. I can educate through a talk that is of experience rather than theory. I can cross reference what is real, what has a meaning grounded in practice, in experience. This does not irritate, this grounds. This has not the clutter of an imagination of ideas about things, memorized, without real practice, this has a greater substance, and that is what really educates a person. This is sharing real experience, practical living experience.  Of course, this child admits that so many are not listening, and instead  talking theory instead of reality. This is what is here, thus reactions and the scream of theory, and the justifications for this theory are all around us, meaning that scream of limitation is going to happen, nothing to take personally, and not something that can define who and what I am. Will I make mistakes, as I am a product of this present system, yes. Well, I did not learn to crawl and to walk, or to play the violin without making mistakes. I am the only person that decides who and what I am, no one else can do that for me. I can become more grounded here, in this living reality. This is who and what I really am. 

Reciprocity Day 703

Within the sales process I have learned the importance of listening. There are levels of listening, as one must see the whole and the parts. One thing I notice is how self validation comes forward, in the form of the speakers experience, the things that express the structure the person uses to self guide, to self support. It is a form of conception, a form of knowledge and information that defines the person. I must listen to this, as it shows me what the person uses to order themselves and their goals, and what is unique about them. This means, that window into what potential they gravitate towards to connect as a starting point with this earth.

The moment I interrupt them, I am essentially beginning to force something on them. I am taking what they have said and already, in a rush, relating it to myself. I have not asked questions to clarify and made sure that I understand where they come from, what they have defined themselves as. And, I have not used their state of being to hear what would more than likely, to a tiny degree, expand my awareness, because inevitably, everyone is unique, because everyone is standing on a different point on the ground, thus even with all the layered stories of experience within this, there is always an insight buried in the storm. I must listen for that, and yet, understand the building around that point. It becomes an incredible thing to be able to do, this math, and this discovery of a point of connection. This is overall a process, and it is the same for myself, as it is for another. It is a reciprocal process.

Lately, I have attached the image of a horse to this process. For some reason I define a horse as having a reciprocal nature. This is moving backwards and forwards, to see the parts and the whole, to even enjoy this process. It is accepting the gift of understanding and then reconstructing once a connection is made. 

Before I began to realize this, I would get scared and angry, righteous and overwhelmed, moving into all manner of justifications and frustrations to push a goal I had within me. There is nothing wrong with the goal, really, it is who I am within what I am doing that is the problem. That rush, my own agenda wanting a quick connection instead of realizing that the process is living. In space and time I can only be here, and development moves in many ways, like self awareness is in perpetual change, or transformation, and that this is being here. 

This reminds me of the summers I allowed art students to open a gallery in my living room. Each student had a different approach to their art. One did iconographic pictures, mixing up cartoon-like images in new ways. Another, did pictures of nature, oil paintings and water colors. Another, did really simple still life’s of objects. When people walked into the gallery, they would automatically be drawn to certain images.  Some like the simple and somewhat amateur still life’s, some went right to the paintings of nature, and some stood in front of the story line images.  Each type of art made some sale. 

Thus, each person reveals their own belief systems within their choices, and their words more than likely reveal the patterns of their belief, and the experiences used to justify their belief systems. Before one can connect with another, one must reciprocate, meaning move back and forth, listening and understanding where a person comes from as their perspective of reality. 

Within this, resistance is productive, because it helps realize what defines as a structure and then allows one to open up that structure in small and simple ways, to open doors into accepting other perspectives and expand within one’s self. Within this, comes an ease and a sense of trust. And, an exposure of how all of this works, because one then has the contrast of one’s belief and that of another. Thus what could be considered a limitation, becomes a means towards expansion. Limitation becomes an illusion. Yet, this is how we learn, this is how we practice becoming present, enjoying form no matter what and seeing it for what it is and looking outside of that to change, as change will happen in small steps, digestible steps. This is reciprocity at work, moving backwards and forwards until something is clear, enjoying one another no matter the starting point. 

What does this mean in practice? This means listening to the story being told. This means hearing the value judgements, realizing the persona is in the words, getting to know the personality. Within this, discovering the potential suppressed as the means to the end, have not been lived and instead a past of experience leading to a role, as a persona was the choice made. This means moving back and forth, grounding one’s self in the physical reality that is right here. This physical reality remains, even when the persona wavers in protection and defense, avoidance and blame. In the silence, and the stillness of focus can one begin to sense patterns and call them out by name, indirectly telling stories, creating a value  that realizes the capacity through ordinary action that leads to the extraordinary movements that we all admire for their grace and ease. Those who have a small measure of development, that supposed exception to accepted and allowed rules that reveal in every way, the means to the end - as it is simple. What complicates is what causes resistance. That self suppression via limitation and ideas of lack circulating as pictures and words, as voices in the memory, a mind full of morality codes made larger than life and in separation from the practice of reality , a physical reality. It is a firewall , that is emotional. It is the veil. It has parts that are good, yet those are ideas  - not presence  in reality,  they are  - right or wrong - personifications. They are illusion, they are like a television. You are electrical and magnetic by design.  As within, so without, as above, so below.

So much of my life has been caught in sympathy. This means being sympathetic only, accepting another persona and agreeing with it, instead of realizing real empathy is listening and then giving practical solutions that move the path SIM-ulated into an expansion that allows one to move with ease and create, meaning to live the kind of potential realized inherent in the design of who and what we are as men, with two arms and two legs and two hands and the ability to move with our presence into forms, be they imagined or real, to sense the space of this reality around us, catching those point of resistance and yet seeing the creation of them, an inflating of what is a value judgement made huge, and bringing what was not expressed, or what was missed into a practical action. This is making things small, as within an equal size relationship to the physical world. This can only be done right here, in the commons of reality that is the physical world.

Within this I need not fear the projections of the mind of men as this is not who and what they really are. I need not fear losing anything, because what expands and creates can never be lost, yet it can become silent and begin again. What works remains and what destroys cannot remain, we either realize the value being life, or we continue believing that our egos are larger than life, mis-using the imagination with what is an imperfect practice, as we are not here, in respect of physical reality.

If we accept knowledge and information from an authority that speaks on a soap box from a distance, we lose all connection to our natural ability to assess reality, and we become instead filled with malice- a crystallization mercurial in nature a false morality, because we miss what is hidden in plain sight as the physical world.  We believe that adderal will help our depression because the label by the authority says so. We follow instead of investigate. later we may discover that this ‘ thing’ is really crystal meth with an added chemical chain that does not change the action of the original and real name. The damage done from such following is the mis-takes never solved, these which accumulate as mis-information/story, that weigh down the body while one lives in a false bliss up there in a bubble that is a personification. If we listen we all hear this, we all see this, we all know this. It is that we fear to live. Yet, that which we fear is the only way out. This is why that which we resist persists, because it must be made clear and brought down into practical measure equal to physical reality, as the physical is creation in expression.

Within myself, in relation to this, I realize the people I have trusted I can no longer trust, or that I am alone, that I must stand and be responsible for who and what I am.  Someone once said, trust no one. In reality, I can only trust myself, with the help of the commons, as the ground here, I can begin to slow down and listen and no longer become confused, or recognize that I am confused and see that I have not found that simple point to bring forward that is always right there in front of me, in every moment. For this, I can use my best friend; silence - and who has a twin known as patience.  I am here. I can take that which is good and does no harm and I can walk with self forgiveness into investigation and assessment to find what is self corrective until equality in each and every point realizing the value is life is here on earth.  I see, realize and understand that fear is a sign that I am not present in reality. I can use the capacity of myself as life, to take the time to reciprocate and build understanding and then relate to respecting reality and choosing what is best for all, as this is what s best for self, here. 

Day 670 Emotion is another form of data.

Emotion is another form of data.  When I heard this I immediately thought about who and what I am, if I slowed down to consider that emotion is another form of data. 

This means that my personality is a form of data, as my personality is what I like and what I resist. It means that what I choose to like is based on my experiences, because my experiences are where I got my data from. 

If I look at parenting, for example, I remember at times being resistant to some children. This means that I resisted the data that my data compared their data to that was them.  It means that I sensed their measure, as their data that defined how they directed themselves, or how their neurons sensed based on their exposure and experience, to my exposure and experience believing that their data was not enough for the data I as busy building in my children.

This means that I was competing for data. Sound familiar? 

I investigated what jobs were happening in my area, and I found there were data collection companies. Even my son is working for a data collection project.

Is this a competition for data on a grand scale? Are we competing to collect data to win something more? What is that more that we are seeking? Is it to survive? Yet, is this not the means of survival, and is this not then the means of the machine, as our physical bodies?

If we are exposed to what is here and how the physical data as the plants and the animals and the soils, work and interact as measures of many parts working together, we collect data on that form. This in turn becomes what informs our data that can then build to an emotion that is what we direct ourselves as.  It is like to say, we have a neurological system within that builds in accord with our exposure. if our exposure is limited - just think of the images on TV- then what will be our emotions when we enter the real world around us? our data will be of flat imagery, with no real sensory development. Thus our data, as an emotion will come pouring out, trying to fit into reality, and not finding anything that matches, because the data within does not match the data without. That is really messed up.

Who ultimately is responsible for this? That point where the data is collected and transformed into how the machine is directed! 

It is also to realize the beauty of this, and the need for respect of this as how this functions. This means that each human, can build a network that is aware and present and functioning in being considerate of the beauty of this, and this in all things- even the cat, or the blade of grass. This means that all thing are us in another life!

It is also to realize that we can become stagnant in the data we have accumulated. And this means that we can change. We have to check our emotions as the data that they are, and cross reference that data with what is real, as the physical world that is us, the same. This means that the comfort of not knowing, is an illusion as limited data collection that is the past of one’s exposure and accepted focus. This means that the child will become the measure of the parents. 

The manner of collecting data is from physical reality and all the present forms built by men who did not realize this as the present technologies and systems imposed on this physical reality in absence of realizing this. Or, in using this in self interest- which is that comfort zone of not knowing!  The very means of this ability and development, as this is how things are built and changed and aware of to build is how the physical world works. This is really cool, because this means that we can build and rebuild, transform and take steps to do no harm, to anything that has been built, because we as what we are , can access data, and process it, and realize what does no harm. And, to realize that this is the fun of being. I mean, what do we do all day when we, for example, administrate? We assess data and reorder and organize it as all the things of this world that are creation in motion, information in motion. 

Hence, our present system is an emotion that is a data of beliefs and opinions and ideas that have not considered all data as what it means to be living a life expression that is physical. And that the physical is this process in expression. Instead, we have allowed ourselves to believe that our experience, as our data that creates the emotion, is more real that that from which the data was collected!  

And this means that our present data collection agencies, are collecting data on the movement of data that is a memory within each. This is a limitation, and the consequence of this is a stagnant system that has many jobs for people that have become comfortable within this structure, and fear changing out of their comfortable data! And that data is limited data, feeding on itself and justifying it’s existence despite this causing immeasurable harm to what is the same as them, all the people and plants and animals, everything that is of this physical world that is the means of all of this!

We need to stop believing in a god, because what is really a ‘ god’ is the physical because it is the way of creation. The physical is the information that is the physical you, it is the means of building awareness within of it so that one’s emotion is a data that is in alignment with life. as the physical The very need to believe in a god is the measure of one’s limited data that is the cause of the insecurity to need to believe in an imaginary god! 

Day 663 A self divided upon itself.

Today I had a meeting, and it seemed I could hold so much of it in one consistent form. It is an interesting thing, self discovery, because it is normal, it is practical, it is here. The chaos of a memory that has been allowed to become bigger than reality is the problem. The solution is to realize correct action, or perfect practice. This means, as the answer is in the above words, that the within, as the memory of experience, must be equal to what builds that memory, which is the physical world around  us. Yet, chaos makes simplicity something buried under the uncertainty of imbalance.

This morning I looked at the word evil and evolve and live. I suddenly looked at the ‘e’ as a circle divided unto itself.  It is like the top of the ‘e’ is one piece, yet the bottom of the ‘ e’ is bursting at the seams.  This is like a world upside down, where the within is of a greater measure/focus that what is real, as the physical, that physical, that which the information as the memory informs itself!

I mean, why do so many parents assess the friends of their children? Why do they resist some children over others? Why do we not see that the wicked witch in the woods is Cinderella in another life? Why do we not realize that our monetary system holds ideas of what is more based on a metaphysical ideology? Why do we not realize that all those indigenous people’s language is information about the environment in which they lived? Why do we not realize that our physical bodies are a system that can sustain itself whereas our technology, that is not a bad and can be used to help us help ourselves, cannot self sustain?

Do we realize our actions of an inflated memory are not considering reality as the events surrounding us make so visible as a structure that divides unto itself? 

Can we see that the solution is to rebuild a structure that moves from problem into solution, reversing reactions as the consequence of problems, correcting imbalances as providing the basic needs a physical life requires to reach the potential inherent in the design?

I/we must begin to direct ourselves within a principle of what is best for all, as this is what is best for us. We can close a circle divided unto itself through respecting all life, assessing all things, valuing them as life, and ground ourselves back into real living. Thus will the machine as our physical expressions of life fill with the sum of all parts, creating a world that resonates life. Like a renaissance, a more transformative revolution, taking that which is good and does no harm as this is the MO of creation. This is the real stewardship of men on earth. This is real love, where the parts as the ‘I’ and the ‘O’  become greater than a self divided unto itself.  Each one/1 standing  as oneness/O and equality is greater/> than each divided unto itself as life. l+O > e

Day 602 The False Positive of the Halo of Piety

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI-LDQCmW5E&feature=share

“ Pity is about how deeply I can feel,  and in order to feel this way, to experience the rush of my own pious reactions, I need victims the way an addict needs drugs” wrote the the late political theorist Jean Bethke Eishtain. 

I hear of this state of being, an energetic state of being, in the above video. The speaker, tells of a woman who served in a church for 30 years, who distributed Christmas baskets every year to those in need. She went to her local politician and asked why not give those in need the money to go and purchase their own needs themselves. Yes, this was a good question, an excellent one.

When he woman posed this question to her church group, they responded by saying that they would not have the opportunity to be charitable anymore!

What kind of world do we live in when we choose to get high off of an ideological good that does not really “ teach a man to fish”? Is an individual  energetic addiction to feeling good through a facade of piety personification  precede what is best for a person? Under the guise of a halo effect? In the name of accumulating wealth? As this is what the church was in fact. It was a legerdemain done to create a commodity of the soul, to flow wealth into the hands of a few. In the end we fell for this, so we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for abdicating our own common sense, the gift of life.

If we want life, we must give life. This means giving the means to be life, which means giving what allows that life in that being, as that form, to have what a physical form needs to flourish and live with the physical body sensing absolutely,  Meaning using the senses to answer/respond/understand and act accordingly in ways that are effective in and as doing no harm, taking that which is good, being sound and stable and equal with the practical measure of physical reality, because the physical is creation information. 

That halo of piety is an emotionally energetic drug fix. It serves only an imagination, a false idol, that is a few feet off the ground, on which it is dependent to project. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what is in my mind is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous with piety

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be addicted to piety, to believing that in no longer having victims I will not be able to do good, and get my fix of piety as an idea in and as my mind of being good.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, in the name of an idea, limited in self interest, not stopping to look and solve the problems of poverty and lack because it would mean that I would no longer have my fix of piety, of righteousness as an idea of being more because of a perpetuating act of doing good that I would lose if I taught a man to fish, or allowed  a man to live a life in dignity, in expression as life, as a physical being on a physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that structural violence my act of charity, before life, done in self interest, allows to the life around me as the physical, as the physical is life, that which has the value of being life, and the practicality in design and function as to what needs would do no harm, take that which is good and allows behaviors that are the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, as this is the behavior of building sustainability, constancy, and ease, in all physical forma of life, which means to give as one would want to receive, here.

When and as I find myself wanting to do good, to create an egotistical ideological self definition, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that what I am running from as in allowing an act of charity to define me as being pious, I am running from that which I seek, which is myself as life, myself as that which moves within and as a purpose of supporting life, through respecting the physical as life information, as creation, where I pay attention to practical, physical reality, and give as I would want to receive which is to allow life to flourish in dignity, supporting the physical world in ways that do no harm, as this is accepting all life, and realizing the value is life.

When and as I find myself objectifying giving as in placing one time objects to give in a basket, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that this is not direct giving, with and as myself as my heart, here, substantiating the life before me, as in listening, and understanding, and directing, in ways that allow self discovery, as in giving a person the means to fish for themselves - so to speak, as the physical form of men can and will absorb what is of opportunity as the physical world around them, as is the design of the physical body, to allow life to express and absorb the form and function of life information which is the physical creation that is earth here.

Day 506 Reacting to words of blame: addressing limitations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that the words of others define me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that words of others are my responsibility.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am responsible for the focus of another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the focus of another can determine what and who I am.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the words of another point out characteristics of what is here, and as the mind works, when the mind as a system of value judgements, speaks as an authority, it pushes away the bad through projecting the bad outward and bringing what it believes is of value to hold self in self interest, where self is believed to be the center of existence, the consequence of a system of competition within and as believing that each man is an island despite the obvious; that man is on a physical planet, the form and function of which all life on earth is dependent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the paranormal projections of the mind are real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must react to the words of another as the voice of what it is as what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel responsible for the words of another.

I forgive myself for not  allowing and accepting myself to see words as like a preliminary sketch of the physical world - so to speak- which means that they are not definitive unless I accept and allow them.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see words as a description of what is here, where this can be a good in that it draws attention to looking here, or can be used to protect and defend a “ make believe” reality, through citing values of more than and less than, as self aggrandizement and projected blame instead of solution to here in common sense, as in speaking that which does no harm and takes that which is good.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see words as sound, as an initial description, that can change with each moment, and as this the significance of words can then be taken and directed, or investigated, or transformed to become more concise, or suggestive, but that words, as such, cannot define me, and as such cannot burden me unless I accept and allow them to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must accept the focus of reality that a series of words describe

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to protect myself from words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that words paint a picture, so to speak, and that that “ picture” is just this, a paranormal image of reality, and as such are not reality, even though words can be a vehicle into becoming aware of reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow words to confuse me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the blame projected onto me is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe in blame - to be the lie of being lame.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame in no matter what shape and form is not solution, and thus blame is an ignorance of the context of physical reality, a practical physical reality that is the expression of life as what the expression of life would be in all common sense, as this is form, a gift given to be and understand life, equal and one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see blame as a burden to carry

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become definitive within blame, referencing knowledge and information based on past experience only without a balanced reference to practical physical reality within and as what directs oneness and equality in communication and respect for all life, as the gift of being equal and one in substance.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame is a limitation, as a end game, ignorant of practical physical, space time reality and as such can be addressed with practical common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that righteousness is  self wanting validation which is an act of not addressing blame but rather reacting to it instead of addressing the limitation of and as blame into solution, which is to place self equal and one to and as the practical physical world, the expression of life, as life would be a form in order to express itself, here, and as such would operate in practical common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that being righteous is a separation because it is an act of self validation instead of common sense as self can only give insight when in common sense of that which is the expression of life which is the physical form which operates in visible common sense ways as this is the way and the means of the expression of life.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that being righteous is always/allways a separation from life, from the gift of and as life, as life is in support of itself an act/expression of absolute giving, thus life as expression is to give absolutely of self as life,anything else is separation.

When and as I find myself believing I have not been clear with my words as a reaction of accepting blame in/through protection and self defense, I stop and I breath and I bring myself here,  to become one and equal within the texture of the physical world.

When and as I find myself reacting in protection and self defense I stop and I breath, as this projection of righteousness, a self accepted entity of pushing away the blame as within this I have accepted and allowed myself to become infearior to life as I have taken the blame personally believing that i am responsible for the blame or will be labeled as the blame and as such an act of separation from the physical practical reality, and I see, realize and understand that blame as limitation and I direct myself within and as what is best for all, which is what is best for the physical world, even if this means taking the time to investigate a solution

When and as I find myself reacting within in protection and self defense, as moving into inferiority into righteousness as the mask of superiority, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down until I can remain within a modicum of ease within and as breath.

When and as I find the corners of my mouth sinking way way down, I stop and I breath, and for the moment, I practice placing myself in humble gentleness within and as breath, here.

When and as I find behaviors of others as criticism, as an emotional storm as what is present around me, directly, I stop and I breath, and at this point I allow this storm to crest and remain equal and one with and as breath, and practice walking the limitation as best I can into what directs the movement into and as grounding one practically equal and one with and as the information of sound as life in common sense of physical reality.

When and as I find a wave of righteousness welling up from my solar plexus, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that at this point I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another and not addressed limitation and separated myself from being a direct memory of life, which is being equal and one in common sense of practical physical reality.

When and as I find myself reacting, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand my own expectations as myself believing in a gain that separated myself from common sense and lead into a protection and self defense as a fear of loss, and I stop and I breath, until I stabilize myself within and as breath, here, as the energy of reaction must be forgiven, and within this to realize that the entity as mind as judgement and the consequences of such must be forgiven, walked and as such cannot be the definition of myself unless I accept and allow it.

When and as I find a weight on my chest, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that this is going to take some practice and time to unknot.

When and as I find myself weighing myself down in and as a belief of more than and less than, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that the ease and gentleness to stand within and as what is best for all, is always/allways right here in front of me, and as this I slow myself down and I breath and stabilize myself within and as what is best for all of which moves with ease here.

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Day 279 Fear of Speaking Internal Conversation Dimension

Fear of Speaking Internal Conversation Dimension

Every time I judge one thing as ugly or more than another I am in essence no longer looking at what is here. I have lost direction. What is direction? What does this actually mean? A judgement of good or bad where understanding of how the physical world functions within what is best for all life, if not taken is a crime against life. Period. Simple.

To not look at the choices we make that do not fulfill this simple principle is a crime against life.

The slightest thought of comparison, of competition without direction within and as what is best for all is a taught morality of no substance in support of life. The mind as morality, is a game of dictates of good and bad that is in itself a separation into a  life in service of a false idol of limited ideas, beliefs and opinions, the devil and the angel born of fear, this being the burden we carry, our own crosses we bear, a weight unnecessary. Our memories have become emotional/feeling crosses carried that are not aligned within the nature of a life that can only be expressed here with the gift and belief that everything here is life, this physical world is the gift of life, it is here, There is only being here equal and one to and as life. The existence of a past and a future is the distortion of self as life, where self is not here, self is taking something personal in fear of loss and then ad-libbing a false positive, which is a behavior in and as judgement and thus non directive as self as life.  Consciousness is the map of this distortion, this fear, this separation from life, from being directive.  Fear is like a state of vertigo, it is a bubble of vision of unseeing hereness, and the picture show it presents is the dialogue of self interest/inner-rest  and thus self ab-dication of and as life substance.

If I am in fear as ego/self interest emotion ad libbing a false positive I am taking things personally in fear of loss, as this is what I am allowing myself to focus on instead of focusing on what is here within and as directing myself within an understanding of how this physical world functions and exists, of which the human is the perfect machine to exist as, and yet the present mechanisms built by a man in separation are now reverberating back to us our own separation, and this is affecting life on earth, thus this must stop as this is destroying this planet and the opportunity for man to become equal and one to and as life.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  fear facing and answering to and as what is here, what is physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there is nothing to win or to lose, there is here, expressing, as in communicating, with and as what is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear existing within and as common sense of what is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing  emotions of separation from here and the ad libbed false positive that consumes the attention of self dividing self from common sense of what is here, as this physical existence, as this is what is real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the physical in fact functions, that to move with and as what is physically here takes patience and a process if integration with and as how the physical world functions, which can only be established within self direction in gentle application here, thus criticism and praise are unnecessary as it is the integration within being as in walking this as in doing that is the reward, where there is no need as praise as it is the being of self integrated that is being an expression of life, which is in and as itself the “praise.”

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this there is no need for protection and defense as this is a focus of myself in separation from what is directive equal and one to and as this physical world with and as myself as life.

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing to realizing, seeing and understanding self direction in self honesty with and as life here.

I commit myself to slowing myself down, breathing and recognizing my own emotional crosses and ad-libbed false positives that are limited moral values of self interest ignorant of this actual physical world.

I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down, to become and speak as myself as life within and as being self directive with and as what is real as this actual physical world, this carrier of the projection as the personalities men have made as mind and how the mind functions in separation from equal and one consideration of what is best for all on earth.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that  to be equal and one to and as life, exists here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that attempting to speak as what is best for all, as in communicating with what is here, takes practice and time, as I have existed in self interest as a personification as a character in self interest within a system created by men in separation from self as life, not having learned to be equal and one to and as this physical world as the substance of life, here.

Day 144 The Mind is the past

Hội An xưa & nay (Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong)

Trường Lê Quý Đôn (Février 1947) (Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong)

Chụp cùng người bạn thân cuối năm học cấp 3 tại trường Lý Tự Trọng, Nha Trang (1998) (Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong)

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to collect experiences to wear like a badge of honor, where I believe I am more than another because I have had an experience that they have not had.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is not about where I am or what I have done, but about who I am in what I do and where I am, where the who I am, in the moment, in breath, in consideration of myself as life, equal and one to all that is here, as all that is here is life, one and equal to me,  thus the who I am is life, so the experience is life, and thus there is no more than and less than and until this is supported and allowed to be on this earth, there is no real life, as the separations into and as thought, emotion and feelings, as energy are obsessive, harsh, inconsiderate, self interested,  ignorant, the holding onto a story, where telling the story of self is about making self important as the story, making self real through a story instead of allowing self to simply be , here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this persona maintenance, a story must be told as to what this persona is, to sustain the perception of self as this story, as the past experiences worn like a dress code to maintain a place on a  gird, as the mind within a system of survival that promotes such badges of experience and possession of objects to create a hierarchy, where the telling of the story consumes self , as self interacts with persona only instead of communicating with what is actually physically here, be it plant, animal, soil, air, wind, earth, as what is here, physically, is what is real, is a living story, is a living word, where in effect, we are all scared of performing on this stage as earth, when we all know that this is the ultimate experience, and yet we deny ourselves that which is real, to be in touch with this earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that touch has been associated with sex, where touching a child in an elementary school in America is taboo, because so many have become mind only, lost within desire , want and need, a story in and as the mind in separation from what is real - the physical, that touching, being afection physically is no longer  allowed, as the separation from self has created sexual interaction as entertainment, made huge, where instead of being physically here, one is an emotion, an energy motion as mind, singular and obsessed with that energy, where energy needs constant resource to exist, thus is this is made what is real, that desire must feed incessantly, as the desire becomes bigger than life, which can be used within a profit based system - fanned and fired up, to create obsessions and possessions that feed money into a whole industry, to allow the fear to have more than another, and yet this comes back at us, with the development of sexual deviance where the obsessed and possessed end up taking their desire and living it with children, to the point where they become school aids, and thus has the human, through accepting and allowing this system of enslavement to profit before life, created, allowed and accepted the very behaviors existent within our society, and unless we equalize life here, through supporting all life, and cleaning up the mind, this will continue and compound to the point where our children will suffer more than they already are across this earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop, and to breath, for 21 days, to begin to see how much I am an emotional organic robot, driven by energy, as emotions and feelings and thought, where the thoughts are the ideas, beliefs and opinions taught in separation of life, as more than and less than polarities  that I have used to survive and guide myself as life, instead of practically realizing how this physical world in fact functions, working one and equal with and as this freely given physical earth. where my personality is but only a movie on a screen as the mind and thus not myself as life, and the idea of no longer existing as this persona - that which I believe is real- is like a death, yet in fact, it is losing everything to gain self as life here, as this persona  is simply the storied maintenance of a placement on a grid of inequality known as capitalism, in effect, my persona is myself existing within limited values, my persona is my own cultivated monoculture in separation from life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts of what will be lost should I move, as the stories of the past of the generations that have come before me, where the shades of color as values of more than and less than consisting of thoughts as to what will be better than, what will be lost are in fact judgements as a belief in choices that in no way consider what is real, do not consider what makes sense, physically.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the stories of tradition in and as my family, as the past, as to where, how, and what is the story and history of the family, are in fact the placement of  conditions to maintain a place on a grid within society and are in fact, a separation from what is real ,  where this becomes what is strived for and maintained, instead of actually physically seeing what is here, as life, as nature, where the home becomes more than the nature surrounding, supporting, encompassing the environment, even to the point where I have seen fake grass placed around a home, to control and protect the home from nature, as nature is  seen as something that decays a home only, so separate from physical reality has the human become, where just as that fake grass does not sustain life, so does my persona not sustain myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that story maintenance as mind has become bigger than life, the story consisting of the past supposed and believed badges of honor that are really only the maintenance of a placement on a grid of more than and less than, to survive within a system of profit, and thus inequality, where nature is ignored and thus suffers because man is in fear of performing with this earth, with what is here, with what is real, this physical world thus must this system of profit stop, and a system that support all life become the organization of this world, as this is what is real, physically here, an orchestra of life, and not a monoculture of control for the mono of the poly at the top of the grid.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that to simply be, one must forgive the persona that repeats the stories of the past as what this is, to become one and equal to here, as one cannot be a walking broadcast of one’s past, as a story, and as well, be here in equality and oneness with the real story, which is this physical world, all that is of this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this walking persona, that is in effect a story teller, so busy with this story, that life is not lived, this story being the label of elevation and justification of what self is, to maintain a placement within a grid that in itself is the separation into more than and less than, and thus inequality with what is real this separation, inequality with what is here, this physical world, is what consumes self, ages self, diminishes self into and as a story and not self one and equal here, as the living word.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that persona maintenance is the story of grid placement maintenance instead of myself as life in expression as who I am, one and equal to what is real, this physical world, where until I begin to live in equality and oneness with this physical world, I am in separation from life, and playing/broadcasting a movie in support of inequality, manifest as beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, as this is how the tool of the mind  functions, made huge by greed to control, instead of self allowing myself to be here, to simply be, one and equal, participating within and as, life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when someone says something in support of changes within my existence, I cling to these judgements to placate myself  within my choices,  as these opinions become what I allow to direct me, so trained am I to create a story of justification to protect myself, and validate myself to and towards all the protection defense stories broadcast by others within this grid of separation into and as competition and survival within a profit based system that is the very manifestation of inequality, and thus a propagated ignorance of what is real which is this physical world, this physical world that is not, does not function as a monoculture, which can be seen within agriculture, where it has been realized that smaller farms that employ a practice that works with the land are less detrimental to the earth, and develop more nutrient dense foods.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand within a past experience, where i saw what I consider to be a demon, that in the moment, I realized that this demon could do nothing to me, and yet at the same time I realized that what I had been lead to believe was not real, and even now, I can sense this belief within and as me, that one whould fear such a thing, yet this is in contradition to what actually happened at the time, thus I can see, how much beliefs, opinions and ideas, as knowledge and information, taught by parents, can become imbedded within and as one’s physical resonance and seem like what is real, and thus consuming, when the beliefs, opinions and ideas, are not in fact what is real, which is not to say I understood all of what happened,  but it is to say, that the human is capable of seeing what is here, and realizing how much of a resonant design we have become in separation from what is real, that this world is of a physical substance that we can in fact become one and equal to, thus become one and equal to in understanding, yet a system of inequality as profit that utilizes religion, education, survival and competition within a profit based system, diminishes life in service to the support of a few, they themselves lost in their own personas in and as belief, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, and thus in fear and separation from life, where they themselves are that which they support and fear losing, inequality as life, and thus until they and we stand up and create a system of equality, each and everything on this earth will live in separation from life, as life within self must stand, as this is the gift, as though the greatest thing we all fear if the one thing that is the way out, and the way into life.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the moment a voice in my mind appears, I am in judgement, in fear of loss, inferior to life.

I commit myself to realizing, seeing and understanding that the moment i begin to reminisce about my past, I am in effect telling a story about an experience that I believe makes me real, when in effect this is a separation from myself as life, and thus myself not here, physically interacting and communicating with and as life, here.

I commit myself to realizing that what is real, is the physical, and thus the stories in and as my past, as what the mind broadcast are my fears, as judgements, as protection and defense of my persona, the characters of values that are of more than and less than in obeisance to a monoculture that is the service to a hierarchy imposed on earth, as the human,  fearing itself as life, fearing performing one and equal to what is real this physical world. 

I commit myself to realizing that the beliefs broadcast by the mind are the maintenance workers of capitalism and not myself here as life, in expression as life, meaning the realization of myself as being one and equal to this physical world, to myself in oneness and equality, performing here, accepting myself as life, here.

I commit myself to mapping out what i have allowed to resonate within and as me, as the beliefs, opinions and ideas that have been taught through family, education, society, religion, all that which impresses a story, as knowledge and information that is in separation from what is real, in separation of self development as self as life, the ability of self as life, to communicate, and understand this physical world, which is what we, as man, are one and equal to, as we are the same substance.

I commit myself to walking the desteni I process, to map what is of my mind, to see, realize and understand what has been made huge in separation from life, the storied persona of what I believe myself to be, where this is the very cloak of my separation from life, realizing that within and without, this emotion, thought and feeling in separation from life,  has no real substance and is only a resonance within and without, imposed on this earth by the human, and thus is not real, cannot touch me unless i accept and allow this, thus it is nothing to fear, and only something to be realized for the insubstantial practices is creates, the abuse it creates to and towards life, where what must be implemented to change this world to support what is real is a system of equality, practically manifest within an Equal Money System, where all it takes is many to stand up and support, through political means this system of management of life, where nothing on this earth is seen as more than or less than another.

I commit myself to realizing that through the use of breath to slow myself down, I am able to stand back and se the map of my mind, and realize that I as life am so much more than this storm in a teacup story of persona and that this persona has not real substance as it is not constant and must be told again and again to maintain itself, as thus I allow myself to diminish myself as life, to consume/burn the resource of my human physical body.

I commit myself to realizing that a thought is of an imagination, consisting of voices as back chat in the head/mind, as fear of loss/protection defense where I become the reaction of the mind  in self interest and can no longer see, within this storm within and without, the consequences of my actions that, as this, are not in support of life in equality, and thus will cause inequality in earth as separation from life..

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