Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 169 The mind wanting precedent

I remember the day I was so tired of what my life consisted of that I asked the question, “where is the constant?” and this lead me within a couple of months to desteni. I realize that I had looked for the constant without, and the answer is right here, within and as me. I am the constant that I have plugged and disallowed through allowing and accepting the be-flame/blame; as accepting and allowing energy- the separation from life through negative and positive emotionsthoughts and feelings, the separation into and as energy, the accepting and allowing of a label all ways a connection as guilt - as I “give you a light” as I accept and allow separations into and as energy through lighting myself up, like a Christmas tree. within imitating opinions and beliefs and ideas negligent of life, negligent of the real tree under the lights, believing the “lights and smuck” to be more significant than the actual tree underneath ( an some do not even use real trees anymore!). All I know is the energy, the bflame of desire, the lit with Ur signature/resonance of right and wrong/more than and less than/ judgement/survival code of supposed warmth and sustenance in separation from the very resource allowing the flame/illumination.
So, if i allow the thought of difficult, impossible, irritating, as what I guilt myself with, as this is the beflame of my world, then I accept and allow this separation as all that exists, I have become blind to the very substance of life under this guilded/lighted tree of life, where no answers lie within the bling of energy, and what is spoken that is not feeding the electrified/energetic lights will cause a short circuit, where if one is not in understanding of what is happening the surge of protection and defense, as energy resists and grabs at the sametime, wanting precedent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become and exist as the thought that I am impossible, difficult and irritating, not seeing realizing and understanding what this consists of and exists as, as I had allowed and accepted myself to become separate from and as life, looking for answers in guilt and blame, the labels and separations from a directive capacity of the substance of life as what is the source and substance of all that exists.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that what is constant is within and need not be sought without, where giving up the separation into and as energy will reveal what is real and sustaining as the substance of life that must underneath be.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only see the lite and flame of separation as guilt and blame as self judgement becoming justification in and as protection and defense through negative and positive statements of belief, opinion and idea expressed through emotion, feeling and thought in imagination that death is an inevitable outcome of a me-more starting point within a system of inequality, as system that is a product of what i have accepted and allowed in separation from life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear, react to guilt and blame, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is a signature of separation and thus not a solution able to remain constant and directive in and as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a thought of judgement as impossible and difficult, as what I am, as what I have accepted and allowed was myself becoming the same within as what was without, where I allowed myself to become beflame and sflame and a reflection of same separation as guilt, and placed a judgement of myself as being unworthy, as having done something wrong and then protecting myself through catering to the me-more -y of my parents in a belief that this was how to survive as I did not know where else to go as a child, as this was the presentation on the stage of life I was born into and onto that has been accepted and allowed on this gift of life, this tree of life, known as earth, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in order to survive I accepted and allowed a separation into and as characters to create a personification of like illumination as what existed to survive, all a separation from life, and a falling into and as an insecurity equal and one to a profit based system of more than and less than, ignorant of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this separation into and as pieces, as judgement and blame, shame and guilt is the separation from myself as life, is self punishment of myself as life where I allow myself to consume myself as life, as my human physical body, having no lesson - less on of energy/ and more on as equality and oneness as life of and as substance- as the directive of myself, here.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become, self doubt, self dishONEsty in separation from and as myself as being one and equal to life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within this separation into and as a character of being as impossible, difficult and irritating, I am becoming the personification of and as this, illuminating this, and thus not directing myself as life, allowing myself to diminish myself as life, abusing my human physical body.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the reaction in and as voicing, blame, shame, guilt and justification, justifying myself as not really being impossible, difficult and irritating through believing what i am is not my fault, when this is upholding the name spoken and not finding solutions that realize equality as what is best for all is best for self as life, as that which is steadfast and without fear, as there need be no fear in equality and oneness with and as self as life, as life is forgiving as the nature of itself in expression, where there is really nothing else.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what i am is what i seek is myself as forgiving of myself as life, this desire as life, in oneness and equality as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction of sadness, where I ad a belief that change is impossible, an illusion, as I am life, here, only separated from myself through belief , opinion and idea as pieces of myself I have made huge ignoring my own nature as life, as I am lost in a game of survival of my own making through allowance not realizing that what is best for all is best for self, in and as coming from nothing and existing as self forgiving of self as life here, as this self as life is the value.


I commit myself to realizing that any and all constriction in and as myself is myself allowing and accepting a loss of self responsibility as life, here.
I commit myself to realizing and understanding that any and all thoughts are my separations manifesting an energetic response in and as the very personification of my separation, myself becoming justification, allowing justification and separating myself from being one and equal within directing myself as life, here, realizing myself as forgiving as life as what is best for all is best for self.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that it is what I accept and allow that indicates whether I am worthy of life, that this is what it is that I already am as life, here, to realign myself as life, one and equal to myself as life, through bringing all the pieces made huge, as blame and spite, shame and judgement back to self to direct in oneness and equality as what is within and as all that is here which is the substance of and as this physical world, which is life.





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