Friday, January 11, 2013

Day 255 Abdication Character Reaction Dimension

I feel lost without having something to “care” about as I am addicted to this energy as it is a behavior, that makes me feel special and more than, when this,. if stood up within is chasing a carrot as an idea, a “state of being” as a noun that will bring renoun/renown, where I “own” something, I am “one” with something instead of being myself as life, as being one with life, as life is the value, as what to stand up and as here. Interesting how all these words, are within this one word. I have turned a state of being into an idol. My own personal god, to make me have some kind of meaning, where I am the very substance of life, as i am here, thus, I need to “state a being” to renoun myself. I already am. I am here, and here is all I can be.
Makes me think of the schools and the children, where parents, and students, state, i am ocd, or adhd, or I am bi-polar, or, or, or. Even in human discussions it is as though there is the need to have a label. And in our current presentation of more and more pharmaceutical drugs the catch phrases used to describe self are in association with an illness that now has a drug to match. So who is directing who? Are we here as ourselves as life or are we here defined by the dictates of what is making a very few a large dividend? A new science based cult of supposed scientific chemical analysis, devoid of any real understanding of life, even in the face of research suggesting that modern autoimmune dis-ease did not exist before the advent of grains and processed foods. This is knowledge and information, this self labeling as a dis-ease, only, without investigation into this actual physical world.
My preferences are limited to cultural values, to cults, instead of to this physical world. This would mean that all cults are a collection of limited values, where the values themselves are not good or bad, yet become more than’s if they bring renown to a group, as the cult, and then used to direct as this “collection” where this, unless it is aligned with all as this world, as the physical as nature, is a separation from life, from what actually supports that as what is here. And instead of looking at this, a group is criticized for presenting something that has supposedly been said, and that is supposedly the same as any other “cult” but desteni is the cult of life, of the physical, the physical world is what is life, the physical world is what actually cultivates life, the physical world if the culture of life, and not the moral beliefs of men assembled into selective right and wrongs in terms of how and why things should be done a certain way, and how, within gender and taboo, individuals should act and be within limited class and gender roles, as these are created in the self interest of men believing themselves to be more than nature, and we are not more than nature. It is like we are denying the culture of life as nature as this physical world. We are one and equal to it. Some of the behaviors of men are of attack to nature, to the animals here, could this be because we realize that we have in fact become less than nature because we have separated ourselves from it to such a degree and we realize our own accepted ignorance and want to attack that which shows us how much we are in effect lying to ourselves? And because we do not want to give up our addictions to sex, and drugs, and entertainment, to energetic bliss, to self abdication as life? Because we do not want to give up what crutches of renown we are sucking on like infants? These “ nouns” as “ state of beings”, such pacifiers composed of ourselves? Which we suck until we are dry and shriveled prunes? Ignoring ourselves as nature, the same as this physical world? This is toys-r-us instead of life-is-us. Desteni is life-is-us and the culture is the physical world. Earth is a culture of animals and plants, water and air, soil and rocks, and the present system is not respecting this, it is using this to support renoun in self interest based on imaginary “states of being” made idol, crutches in fear of facing self as life. Thus ALL blame and ALL spite, as behavior is self blame and self spite done in self interest and self abdication as life. All justification is not wanting to forgive self as life, having turned fear of self into a habitat comforting a belief that something will be lost, when the loss is that self has lost self as life.

SO, everything that is here on earth is life, thus if I have a preference , I am in separation from life. And, yes, within this present system, the life that is here is not allowed to be itself as life, and is being abused, forced to serve personifications in separation of life, as what man has become,where what man has created is the real sub-cult, and this sub-cult has been made huge, thus the idols of this sub-cult are advertised incessantly on the walls of churches, on the screen of TV, on billboards, in stories, in movies. I mean what are the genres of film? Romance/love/religion ( yes - religion is often giving up within personal relationships to love/care-for an invisible object), War/crime, Sport/competition. How much detail within mainstream media is there ( documentaries are often NOT mainstream media ) about how the natural physical world functions?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that preferences define me, as in myself validating myself within and as selective preferences to give myself meaning in separation from what is real, as this actual physical world, the source and sustenance of life , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a subculture of life, thereby allowing and accepting myself to become and be a parasitical behavior ignoring what is real as this actual physical world, abdicating respect for life, as respect for life can only exist within simply being here, equal and one with and as life as what the physical is.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as being a “state of care” wanting renown for a limited only presentation in and as care, where this “state of being” is determined by a culture of morality that is in separation from what is real as this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a behavior, as an emotion - energy motion- with the dictates of what was learned through a subculture in and as men believing themselves to be greater than nature, this physical world, a more-all -ity storied existence turned into a hierarchy in separation from being one and equal to and as this actual physical supporting-of-life-as-life world called earth, this heart of life, as is what the letters in this word sound, are the equation of, thus is what is real placed right in front of man and yet he refuses to see.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how the mind in fact functions, in tandem with the water within and as the human physical body, this body holding resonances of inequality in and as separations as judgements of more than and less than value divisions made huge as thought disrupting equality as life, as these are what has not been realized/equalized to and as life, these behaviors of men, as the mind images accepted and allowed as what is practiced, and thus is equality with and as what is real as this physical world, and respect for this actual physical world, not lived, our water holding what has not been equalized to and as life within self causing dis-ease with life, thus does the physical teach through application what is in separation from what is real, and is as such the means and the way to becoming equal and one in and as life, this made clear within the words moving through the “eye of a needle”, meaning to stop judgements of beliefs as a more than and less than value system self accepts in separation from working with/as equality and oneness with life, which is what this physical world is in fact the gift for.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any dis-ease within and as myself is this, myself in separation from life, here, where here is all that exists, and the mind as the past of memories, is the message of accepted and allowed separations in and as judgements as beliefs in preferences, in accord with the morality taught, that is not equal and one, respectful of this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become a morality composed of learned preferences in separation from life as a behavior of survival generated as fear, to the extent that in my allowed ignorance of life, all I know is running after a “state of being” as belief, opinion and idea, which means a lot of forgiving myself to this actual physical world before I realize myself as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the existence of myself as ego, as beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, a behavior of not seeing, realizing and accepting myself as life, where any and all reactions to what is here, must be faced, stood up within and as, to remove the fear of separation that is the protective/defense behaviors as ego existing within loss and not utilizing the substance of self as life in common sense, remaining here, equal and one as what is best for all in totality, meaning all that is of earth, the physical.

I commit myself to recognizing my own abdication in and as life, through pretending care within human morality, within the specific human subculture I was born, to stop and to breath, and to bring myself back to myself as life within and as the physical, to see, realize and understand in practical common sense what is here as life and within this to stand for what is best for all, including this actual physical world.
I commit myself to stand up within and as any movement within myself and the voices in and as my mind, that are a more than and/or a less than in and as judgement to and towards what is here as this physical world, a morality learned in separation from inclusion of what is actually physically here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my fear is exhibited through polarities of a negative and a positive, where the positive is the justification for the negative moral, this the separation from myself as life, a picture presentation within a cultural value being what I believe will enable/hide my own survival/fear, my presentation a protection defense mechanism of selected and limited values consuming the presence of myself as life, and thus creating a presence divided through imagery, lacking/limiting/losing common sense of physical hereness.
I commit myself to respecting myself as life here, through breathing and bringing all thoughts,emotions and feelings back to self and forgiving this division/separation into common sense of what is physically here and place myself as life into an application within a principle of what is best for all.

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