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| Autumn in Denali - Alaska landscape (Photo credit: blmiers2) |
My state during the day is of a sense of physical lightness, and then something within my environment triggers a reaction within me, and unaware, I find myself heavy with thought, asjudgment within myself, always an insecurity, a fear when looked at, a generality where I am not here accepting what is before me without distortion through values of more than and less than, even within the smallest details.
Here I must stop and breath, and realign to corrective commitments, as a scaffold, a structure as awareness of my separation from what is inclusive of here, all life being equal as realizing common sense, and every expression being directive within what is best for all, realizing what belief, opinions and ideas I have been taught as selective qualities of existence magnified into being more than. This is judgment. This negates what is here, this divides from common sense, this removes an ability to read HERE.
My characters and personas are the qualities taught to maintain my survival, collectively accepted, creating systemic conditioning. Is this the chicken and the egg syndrome? An endlesspolarity game, where the only answer lies in stepping outside of the chicken and egg, as what comes first question. One has created the other.
So much blame going on in this world, and so much change in my own life, I feel like I am being hit head on with attack of so much belief, opinion and idea I can hardly keep up, as the eddies of polarity that must be faced and realigned within what is best for all, come raging down my back and grab ahold of me. It is like sailing in a storm and holding the sail steady and directive, like this is the steadying point. ( I have to say, I loved sailing in stormy weather, and it was probably that it demanded extreme focus within being here, little did I realize the same exists in every moment within the composition of what i am as a human within a system of denial of life)
I find the hardest thing at the moment is facing my own spite and blame within, as my mind continues to compare within more than and less than, as without. The without being the voiceof this existence as the whole of the mind of separation that is consciousness.
I have to stand and face the pain of this separation, not fear to walk through this, to humbly and with compassion walk through the illusory fear of loss.
I am avoiding something within common sense, and am being met with avoidance.
This brings up a memory from childhood, where I felt that I was dirty. As though common sense is considered a dirty thing, like the tradesmen, who work with the physical world, where the so called “trades” are considered “dirty” jobs. Why is a common sense of this physical world treated as a dirty thing? This is to say that physical awareness is dirty, which is the direct opposite of life, as the physical is life, is what sustains life!
Do I avoid my common sense because i have a belief imbedded that common sense is somehow dirty? An illusion would make the real untouchable, thus is my avoidance really myself not wanting to touch, in common sense, what is real? Is my common sense what was “shut down’?
This seemingly intangible self as life? And would not this actually be what is the expression as life and thus the power of self directive capacity as life?
That which is clean - so to speak - has been made dirty. The smoke in the mirror as the illusion, as what is believed, is the dirt, and the real, as the physical, capable of common sense has been made dirty, yet this is what is clean. WTF.
The forgiving as self in sensing the common, the constant as life, manifest as the physical, is a dirty act, and is beaten down in children, denied.
Common sense does not maintain the status quo of inequality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to avoid common sense in fear of being considered dirty, as I was told as a child that I was dirty and was blamed for bringing diseases into my home because my friends were not acceptable within and as the status quo.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am dirty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that anything of this earth, as the physical is dirty, that any, person, plant or animal can be dirty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what I am as life is dirty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to equate speaking up in common sense of what is physically actually here, manifest in how the physical works and how the present system of inequality exists, as understanding in common sense of what is accepted and allowed systemically as a profit based system that allows a few to represent the whole, where pointing out the specifics of this system in common sense, where the voice of support for this system will react and accuse, that in confronting this in common sense is somehow dirty when in fact it is not, as common sense is not dirty, as the common is not dirty, but is life, as what is one and equal is life, that which is common in all and everything of this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense, not realizing that realizing what is common, is realizing what is constant and that is life, and what is real, and thus what supports, thus is the giving of self in clarity, is the forgiving of self as life, here.
I commit myself to speaking up in common sense, in clarity of what is real, this physical world.
I commit myself to speaking up in common sense of how a system of inequality, that creates a game of survival and personas avoiding common sense as they are the manifestation of self interest avoiding practical support of this physical world as what sustains life, as what is real, as the expression of myself as life, in common sense, and thus acceptance of life, as this is clarity, as this is what is constant, as this is nothing to fear.
I commit myself to no longer fearing voices of spite and blame, within and without, as these voices are the smoke of separation, simply gasping for justification, avoiding acceptance of life.
I commit myself to realizing that what is considered dirty, as awareness of this physical world, is in fact what is clean.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to create an idea of clean and dirty within this description of common sense,
I commit myself to realizing that all suggestions of social inferiority are reactions as fear of common sense and only illusory label as being dirty, or tainting illusory perceptions of believed positions of more than, in fear of loss and not what is actually physically here in common sense, thus within this there is nothing to fear within spite and blame, as they are only the separation from common sense, the gift of life, ever present in and as breath, here.
I commit myself to allowing that which is deemed unclean within a system of inequality, as the tool of expression in and as what i am as life, is myself being the standing of myself in common sense of life as what is best for all, utilizing breath, where this is the constant and thus cannot be lost or missed, as this is here.
I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down to walk in common sense of this physical world, one and equal to stand as what is best for all, here.
I commit myself to realizing in every breath that my sense of what is common in all that is here is life, that support of this is brutal self honesty of what is best for all.
