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| Trường Lê Quý Đôn (Février 1947) (Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong) |
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| Chụp cùng người bạn thân cuối năm học cấp 3 tại trường Lý Tự Trọng, Nha Trang (1998) (Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong) |
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to collect experiences to wear like a badge of honor, where I believe I am more than another because I have had an experience that they have not had.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is not about where I am or what I have done, but about who I am in what I do and where I am, where the who I am, in the moment, in breath, in consideration of myself as life, equal and one to all that is here, as all that is here is life, one and equal to me, thus the who I am is life, so the experience is life, and thus there is no more than and less than and until this is supported and allowed to be on this earth, there is no real life, as the separations into and as thought, emotion and feelings, as energy are obsessive, harsh, inconsiderate, self interested, ignorant, the holding onto a story, where telling the story of self is about making self important as the story, making self real through a story instead of allowing self to simply be , here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this persona maintenance, a story must be told as to what this persona is, to sustain the perception of self as this story, as the past experiences worn like a dress code to maintain a place on a gird, as the mind within a system of survival that promotes such badges of experience and possession of objects to create a hierarchy, where the telling of the story consumes self , as self interacts with persona only instead of communicating with what is actually physically here, be it plant, animal, soil, air, wind, earth, as what is here, physically, is what is real, is a living story, is a living word, where in effect, we are all scared of performing on this stage as earth, when we all know that this is the ultimate experience, and yet we deny ourselves that which is real, to be in touch with this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that touch has been associated with sex, where touching a child in an elementary school in America is taboo, because so many have become mind only, lost within desire , want and need, a story in and as the mind in separation from what is real - the physical, that touching, being afection physically is no longer allowed, as the separation from self has created sexual interaction as entertainment, made huge, where instead of being physically here, one is an emotion, an energy motion as mind, singular and obsessed with that energy, where energy needs constant resource to exist, thus is this is made what is real, that desire must feed incessantly, as the desire becomes bigger than life, which can be used within a profit based system - fanned and fired up, to create obsessions and possessions that feed money into a whole industry, to allow the fear to have more than another, and yet this comes back at us, with the development of sexual deviance where the obsessed and possessed end up taking their desire and living it with children, to the point where they become school aids, and thus has the human, through accepting and allowing this system of enslavement to profit before life, created, allowed and accepted the very behaviors existent within our society, and unless we equalize life here, through supporting all life, and cleaning up the mind, this will continue and compound to the point where our children will suffer more than they already are across this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop, and to breath, for 21 days, to begin to see how much I am an emotional organic robot, driven by energy, as emotions and feelings and thought, where the thoughts are the ideas, beliefs and opinions taught in separation of life, as more than and less than polarities that I have used to survive and guide myself as life, instead of practically realizing how this physical world in fact functions, working one and equal with and as this freely given physical earth. where my personality is but only a movie on a screen as the mind and thus not myself as life, and the idea of no longer existing as this persona - that which I believe is real- is like a death, yet in fact, it is losing everything to gain self as life here, as this persona is simply the storied maintenance of a placement on a grid of inequality known as capitalism, in effect, my persona is myself existing within limited values, my persona is my own cultivated monoculture in separation from life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts of what will be lost should I move, as the stories of the past of the generations that have come before me, where the shades of color as values of more than and less than consisting of thoughts as to what will be better than, what will be lost are in fact judgements as a belief in choices that in no way consider what is real, do not consider what makes sense, physically.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the stories of tradition in and as my family, as the past, as to where, how, and what is the story and history of the family, are in fact the placement of conditions to maintain a place on a grid within society and are in fact, a separation from what is real , where this becomes what is strived for and maintained, instead of actually physically seeing what is here, as life, as nature, where the home becomes more than the nature surrounding, supporting, encompassing the environment, even to the point where I have seen fake grass placed around a home, to control and protect the home from nature, as nature is seen as something that decays a home only, so separate from physical reality has the human become, where just as that fake grass does not sustain life, so does my persona not sustain myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that story maintenance as mind has become bigger than life, the story consisting of the past supposed and believed badges of honor that are really only the maintenance of a placement on a grid of more than and less than, to survive within a system of profit, and thus inequality, where nature is ignored and thus suffers because man is in fear of performing with this earth, with what is here, with what is real, this physical world thus must this system of profit stop, and a system that support all life become the organization of this world, as this is what is real, physically here, an orchestra of life, and not a monoculture of control for the mono of the poly at the top of the grid.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that to simply be, one must forgive the persona that repeats the stories of the past as what this is, to become one and equal to here, as one cannot be a walking broadcast of one’s past, as a story, and as well, be here in equality and oneness with the real story, which is this physical world, all that is of this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this walking persona, that is in effect a story teller, so busy with this story, that life is not lived, this story being the label of elevation and justification of what self is, to maintain a placement within a grid that in itself is the separation into more than and less than, and thus inequality with what is real this separation, inequality with what is here, this physical world, is what consumes self, ages self, diminishes self into and as a story and not self one and equal here, as the living word.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that persona maintenance is the story of grid placement maintenance instead of myself as life in expression as who I am, one and equal to what is real, this physical world, where until I begin to live in equality and oneness with this physical world, I am in separation from life, and playing/broadcasting a movie in support of inequality, manifest as beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, as this is how the tool of the mind functions, made huge by greed to control, instead of self allowing myself to be here, to simply be, one and equal, participating within and as, life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when someone says something in support of changes within my existence, I cling to these judgements to placate myself within my choices, as these opinions become what I allow to direct me, so trained am I to create a story of justification to protect myself, and validate myself to and towards all the protection defense stories broadcast by others within this grid of separation into and as competition and survival within a profit based system that is the very manifestation of inequality, and thus a propagated ignorance of what is real which is this physical world, this physical world that is not, does not function as a monoculture, which can be seen within agriculture, where it has been realized that smaller farms that employ a practice that works with the land are less detrimental to the earth, and develop more nutrient dense foods.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand within a past experience, where i saw what I consider to be a demon, that in the moment, I realized that this demon could do nothing to me, and yet at the same time I realized that what I had been lead to believe was not real, and even now, I can sense this belief within and as me, that one whould fear such a thing, yet this is in contradition to what actually happened at the time, thus I can see, how much beliefs, opinions and ideas, as knowledge and information, taught by parents, can become imbedded within and as one’s physical resonance and seem like what is real, and thus consuming, when the beliefs, opinions and ideas, are not in fact what is real, which is not to say I understood all of what happened, but it is to say, that the human is capable of seeing what is here, and realizing how much of a resonant design we have become in separation from what is real, that this world is of a physical substance that we can in fact become one and equal to, thus become one and equal to in understanding, yet a system of inequality as profit that utilizes religion, education, survival and competition within a profit based system, diminishes life in service to the support of a few, they themselves lost in their own personas in and as belief, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, and thus in fear and separation from life, where they themselves are that which they support and fear losing, inequality as life, and thus until they and we stand up and create a system of equality, each and everything on this earth will live in separation from life, as life within self must stand, as this is the gift, as though the greatest thing we all fear if the one thing that is the way out, and the way into life.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the moment a voice in my mind appears, I am in judgement, in fear of loss, inferior to life.
I commit myself to realizing, seeing and understanding that the moment i begin to reminisce about my past, I am in effect telling a story about an experience that I believe makes me real, when in effect this is a separation from myself as life, and thus myself not here, physically interacting and communicating with and as life, here.
I commit myself to realizing that what is real, is the physical, and thus the stories in and as my past, as what the mind broadcast are my fears, as judgements, as protection and defense of my persona, the characters of values that are of more than and less than in obeisance to a monoculture that is the service to a hierarchy imposed on earth, as the human, fearing itself as life, fearing performing one and equal to what is real this physical world.
I commit myself to realizing that the beliefs broadcast by the mind are the maintenance workers of capitalism and not myself here as life, in expression as life, meaning the realization of myself as being one and equal to this physical world, to myself in oneness and equality, performing here, accepting myself as life, here.
I commit myself to mapping out what i have allowed to resonate within and as me, as the beliefs, opinions and ideas that have been taught through family, education, society, religion, all that which impresses a story, as knowledge and information that is in separation from what is real, in separation of self development as self as life, the ability of self as life, to communicate, and understand this physical world, which is what we, as man, are one and equal to, as we are the same substance.
I commit myself to walking the desteni I process, to map what is of my mind, to see, realize and understand what has been made huge in separation from life, the storied persona of what I believe myself to be, where this is the very cloak of my separation from life, realizing that within and without, this emotion, thought and feeling in separation from life, has no real substance and is only a resonance within and without, imposed on this earth by the human, and thus is not real, cannot touch me unless i accept and allow this, thus it is nothing to fear, and only something to be realized for the insubstantial practices is creates, the abuse it creates to and towards life, where what must be implemented to change this world to support what is real is a system of equality, practically manifest within an Equal Money System, where all it takes is many to stand up and support, through political means this system of management of life, where nothing on this earth is seen as more than or less than another.
I commit myself to realizing that through the use of breath to slow myself down, I am able to stand back and se the map of my mind, and realize that I as life am so much more than this storm in a teacup story of persona and that this persona has not real substance as it is not constant and must be told again and again to maintain itself, as thus I allow myself to diminish myself as life, to consume/burn the resource of my human physical body.
I commit myself to realizing that a thought is of an imagination, consisting of voices as back chat in the head/mind, as fear of loss/protection defense where I become the reaction of the mind in self interest and can no longer see, within this storm within and without, the consequences of my actions that, as this, are not in support of life in equality, and thus will cause inequality in earth as separation from life..
