The storm is only as big as I allow it Day 775

Yesterday a local person I have known for years sat and talked with me. The degree of the use of hyperbole, which uses labels intensified with value judgements, in the words and descriptions used told no real story other than techno-colored dream coat. lol. The word ‘ techno’ I recently discovered as being ‘ skill.” Thus, ‘ techno’ colored, if color is a way to frame emotion, would mean the skill of using colored, or polarized values. 

This is such a busy work. If I took what was said, I would have absolutely no understanding of what was really happening as actions about and in, and of the reality around me. None. Astounding. 

Such a techno of emotion and feeling expression, can appear to be so loud, and so real, and of such force, it would be hard to counter it, if one was of a focus on this without any sense of objectivity. I can imagine a child trying to decode this. It would be a chaos, and of little real value. And, it is of such a punishing state,  the blows of and as it, would be something to run from. It would also, in the process of learning to ‘ read’ this, really slow down one’s ability to put things into a balanced order.  Such behavior would require a protracted learning process, and divide one from what is more natural. I mean, look, when someone talks about something, with a more complete and effective understanding, it is enjoyable to hear, because it lends more here-ness.  If we look, so much of the time- the chronology of our creations as words, are a spin in an motional roller coaster. I feel at this moment, that what I learned so much of, was how to ride the roller coaster!  A cool-aid to get along and go-along, to survive. 

One thing I notice about myself, done within looking at contrasts as my behavior, is a day when I became so angry in a family situation, to the point where I could say, I could only see black within me. In that moment, being that, as in being that anger, that was that of which I speak, this form of a intense desire to resist and push away, reject and punish in a verbal way, with some find of ‘ force,’ was, in that moment, suddenly, not the place to go. Another process of elimination. In that moment, no matter what, being that intense emotional reaction, even if I was correct, was unacceptable. The subsequent sense was of not wanting to go into that kind of reaction, and yet not being clear on a more directed order , time-chronology, to move as.  I had become the skill of colored values, and in a moment, saw no real purpose within it, and yet, had not built a real purpose, with a real principle to stand as in stead, as myself.  And yet, the illusion, is that who and what I am is actually, and always is, right here. This is all an order of sorting out the focus of myself as the hyperbolized technology I accepted and allowed, and instead considering and valuing who and what I am in total. 

I did notice, at times, and was aware of , at times, of myself trying to force something onto a scenario. I was trying to force this ‘ story’ out in front of me, as a projection as a composition of ‘ stuff’ as a consequence of movements, more of making some values HUGE over others, as a ‘ thing’ right there, in the moment, in front of me. I would become increasingly more intense in forcing my storied creations out in front of me, as me. I was not even aware of how much I was doing this, as all focus was on that creation, that entity, that thing, of a picture, of ideas, that were,  inchoate.  I had the sense that this is what I was doing. Behind it, was a sense of hopelessness, that had no emotion. I would call it a ‘ hopelessness’ of truth, because there in the corners of the storm, was an awareness that what i was being had no real value. I suppose that grew, as what is within us, as what is accepted and allowed, grows, as it comes up again and again until it is bigger and unable to be denied. what one practices, works both ways. A more perfect practice, as more recognition and respect of the physical as life, would bring forth greater awareness and real effective creation and presence. My separation from the game of spewing emotional values, also had an observer of and as realizing the lack of real effect such behaviors allowed in my immediate environment.  We ll know what we do, thus there is no real excuse! 

When I really knew a piece of music, and or was comfortable in producing the sounds that made music, I could ‘ move around in it’ so-to-speak. I could tweek it, play within it. I could change values within the order or succession of sounds. It was like I could ‘ walk in it.” 

Words are the same. 

 Yesterday, while being in the presence of a projection of value judgements, all I could do, was to watch this, take a time-line from it, as the objects on which expletives as value judgements colored, and use what understanding I had, as most of what was talked about was about things far away,  and draw more effective relationships towards realizing the practical, via looking at what is right here in my world, as the very order, and lack of care for the reality around me. Meaning, realizing what is good for all things as what would improve what is here around me, as simple things, like caring for a home, having a home that is not more than what one practically needs, the state of the environment around me, the use of the environment, the degree of focus on all things, as others around me, the patterns of behavior in my local area, etc. One example of a small thing, is the realization that a young man, who walked up and down my street many times, suddenly was no longer there, and not because he had moved, because he had died of a drug overdose. What has been accepted and allowed, as an overall hyperbolization of limited values, causing storms of non-focused potential, are right outside our doors, we need only look. 

To suddenly bring all this forward, in the face of that same state of being, as I had suddenly realized, through a process of elimination, as being ineffective, yet at a loss, because of a lack of correct practice and use of myself, - to being the practical forward, with many details, as best I can, in the face of a dramatic value system, would take patience and persistence, to essentially bring forth was is more natural, as who and what we really are, before a separation into hyper-poles of judgement , creating a vortex, like an inversion of self that eats the physical substance of self,  and creates a self that does not realize life. Dis-covering in this regard, out of a mis-use of self, is to open a window, where the window was built by the self, and that outside world, was always there, as it is that life right here.

In relation to being subjected to what has become a norm, to some degree. I could see, where non-reactions towards this, and a focus into a greater and clearer order of the practical, did not feed that emotional storm. And that storm, couldn't define who I was choosing to be, as the very presence of my attention. I reality, there was no real worth within moving into that storm, and yet,  to look at it, though a practice of sorting this out remains, in some ways, I have always known what I made into a not-known. Thus, I can blame no one but myself, and even that must be forgiven, as it has no real equality and oneness with the substance of life that is right here, and always has been. 

Day 533 Self forgiveness on the thought, "Why do I have to sort this out."

I have had a thought come up based on recent events in my family.  The thought, when walked in detail, in relation to what is a practical solution would direct me into solving the self pity of the thought, as I have allowed an emotional value, based on judgement to be included and made huge as the thought, instead of realizing the implications of the limitation of the thought as I only see my own self interest as the value attached to the thought instead of looking at the whole, as the fabric of society and what has been created as a system. In other words I place a value on the thought in relation to what I personally will gain or lose, instead of slowing down and realizing the consequences that lead to the value placed within me as the thought in self interest. The emotional value is the lens, the veil, I measure the world around me from, where the actual events  - because of having done this - are not looked at in common sense creating the consequences that have come to exist. But this is another matter. Here, I am looking at what I have allowed within myself, and how this self pity is slowing me down in relation to realizing the causes of the outcome that exist as the same use of emotional value exists within each one of us that I cannot address if I am within such myself, as I can only begin to address what exists within solution if I am clear - and within this to realize that the consequences of such state of being will take the very collective, as the minds of men as same emotional self direction,  to self realize a practice of considering how one has become a directive of impulsed emotional values instead of including how the physical world works in common sense, and that common sense is to move in ways that solve and do no harm, and that being a state that is directed in “ doing no harm” means to be equal to how the physical world functions, which means seeing directly, here - “ ohne” the shadow of self interest - an inner rest of judgement, of emotional values.

It is interesting, I was watching a video about using magnetics to create electron flow, and as such,  to generate electricity. When the electrons are moving at a greater speed, they are cool, it is when they move slowly, as how we generate them at present, that they create heat. Are we, because we are physical manifestation somewhat the same? If we slow down into energy, as emotions and feelings, do we generate heat within our bodies that is detrimental to the physical manifestation that we are as life, which is how we exist, like we are creators, and what we allow with the very substance determines the outcome?

I have had a rash on my hands, the skin becomes hard and flakey, peels off, as though I have burned my hand in some slow manner. I even have these pimples come up on the palms of my hands that then dry and flake away. Am I somehow, becoming a slow, unequal flow within myself as the substance of myself as I allow myself to go into self pity, and justification and blame and spite as the thought that I am allowing that is creating a constitution within me that is burning the very flesh of my body, because I am existing within a bubble as an emotional value, and as such not being equal to here in common sense, where I direct myself in ways that do no harm because I am considering the physical world as me, and not some ideological entity ( I wanted to spell idiological - lol idiot logic) of value where I compare myself to others and decide that I am right and they are limited? And then I go into believing others don’t understand, and then twist this into myself somehow not being able to translate what is happening and believe that I have no value, as no ability, and move into self blame? This is my own inner smoke and mirrors show, FUCK.

I am caught up in my own juggling of smoke, of values, projected as mind, and as such am not being the solution, as this is really the only choice, which means to equalize myself to here, as the physical world in common sense, to remove my own chaos of limitation that is stagnating myself in such as way that I am actually burning the very flesh of myself, in a sort of slow motion.

So, here I an going to write out self forgiveness to this thought, and self correct, and then use this self correction to direct myself, as the very movement of myself here as a physical being as my journey to life, to becoming equal and one to and as the physical, removing the veil of separation that I have accepted and allowed, that has built the character of me, as described above, so that I can become life, which means to care and respect what I am as how I am able to be here, which is the physical, to align myself with here, which means to include here, which means to see directly, here as the physical. But, to realize that the veil of thoughts, are in self interest, manifest as emotional/feeling values that are unequal to common sense as what I am in total.

The thought is “ Why am I supposed to sort this out?”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought, “ why am I supposed to sort this out.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the emotion of self pity, in and as the thought, “ sort this out.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that having an emotion of compassion makes me a good person, which is moving from a negative judgement, into a positive value, from self pity, that is filled with blame and spite, and into making a compassion into a positive value, that i use to define myself here, believing the value of myself is to have an understanding in a bubble in relation to my immediate world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a morality of good and bad within a bubble, in relation to my immediate world, instead of looking at the form of the system, and the self interest of each, that has built the system as a collective, where I am a product of such a system that has been going on for a very very long time, and exists because of self interest, such as my own, where i have defined myself  through value placements within, instead of realizing the value is simply being life , here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that it is my responsibility to sort out the consequences of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that it is myself who must sort out what i have accepted and allowed to define me, within believing that emotional values define me, instead of relating to the actual physical world in common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this has been going on from day one, from the day I was conceived  in the womb, and as such have had energetic movements of values within and as me as a child, come up, and that this was not sorted out, and equalized in common sense to the physical world that is what enables my expression as life, here, and as such, it is to simply realize the separation into and as emotional/feeling values that I am using to define myself here, and to see the separations into limitations and align myself in common sense, here, as I can only be here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use compassion in self interest, within and as believing that compassion imparts some movement as having a deepness that indicates some profound understanding, when this is really a smoke and mirrors show, that even as itself will not be recognized because in all common sense it has no value within being self directive, as it is stagnant, so why would such be acknowledged and even if it were, why would such be retained when it is pointless in being actual self direction equal to here?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into self pity, to not catch myself in self pity, where I stew in self pity as a belief that no one is paying attention to me, where I then blame myself as somehow not having been clear, in some way, that is ambiguous, as I did not take the time to investigate here, as what has been accepted and allowed as the system reflecting that which I became within and as me, realizing that this varies by subtle degree in each, and that even if I were to speak clearly, to walk detail, there is no guarantee that another caught in the veil of self interest will slow down to immediately consider what has been accepted and allowed as beliefs, opinions, and ideas, propelled by wants, needs and desires, which in turn are based on beliefs, opinions and ideas, as a cycle of energy manifest as emotional values that are a separation from common sense and as such none supportive of the physical body, and end up burning the flesh, consuming it, and destroying the gift of the physical as life, the means of expression as how life would be and do in all common sense, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become self pity, within and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that my so called “ compassion” is not understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take the reactions of others personally, and to not see realize and understand in the moment the separation from common sense, and that even pointing out the emotional values is not being within and as a solution as a movement that enables self direction within as I would want for myself, as this is all I can be and do, because the only choice is to be equal and one to and as the physical here, and as such that what is best for myself is what is best for all, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that directing against emotional values , that standing equal and one in common sense here, is being inconsiderate of another;s emotions and feelings, where in common sense it is the only choice, to slow down and to breath, and to equalize here, and then to walk as a movement that considers practical common sense, even within saying “ I don’t know, lets look at this in detail, in practical common sense to build a better understanding and then take the time to make decisions.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to also, within this, to desire to be morally correct, which is the righteousness character/personality in and as me, as what I accepted and allowed as a desire to win points in a system that is one of survival where point gaining means gain and value creation in a hegemonic system of hierarchy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, within this, not see, realize and understand that I fear the future, and as such also fear death, when this is in fact the opposite of life, and as such, to let all of this go, and remain, equal and one in common sense until it is done, and the value of self as life is realized within the social fabric of men, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reprimand myself, in self pity as though I have done something wrong and to then become an emotion of hopelessness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that chaos of limitation that I have accepted and allowed within and as myself here, as the conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine death and economic instability.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine, the converse, as righteous drama, where I gain value in the eyes of others, where it is to simply say no to this, and slow down and breath, and move myself as information that takes the time to investigate what does no harm and what gives as I would like to receive, realizing that  this is the only solution and that even being this principle in thought word and deed, gives a structure that is stable, constant and self directive, and allows me to move with ease, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe the illusion of self interest as energy, as realizing what is best for all breeds a constancy, that is eternal, and stable, and that this ease, lives here, as constant cross reference to physical reality, as the only place to “ fall’ is here.

When and as I find myself defining myself within a win and lose situation, within and as me, I stop, I slow myself down, and I breath, and I assess the physical in common sense, and I remediate, even if it means more time is needed, and I direct myself through building understanding in common sense, as myself being equal and one to here, being in self discovery with here, walking the chaos of separation that is of limitation, until stability in common sense as that which gives self direction that is stable and lived with ease, as I would want for myself, and I breath until this is done with each step I take here.

When and as I find myself with the thought, “ why am I supposed to sort this out” I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand my separation from practical reality, from the physical, and I slow down and assess what I am accepting and allowing, and I breath, until I am stable, at ease, here, and I look at the information, within and without as what has been accepted and allowed and I walk what is the principle of what is best for all, as it is here that solution exists.

When and as I find myself becoming inferior to here, I stop and I slow myself down and I breath, until I am at ease, and I realize the spite and the blame as the habit of myself that I have accepted and allowed, in fear of being defined as less, or in fear of losing some personification in a desire to win, and I see realize and understand that past as the morality taught in a bubble, as not being all bad or good, and I reference the physical world,  with forgiveness, to see realize and understand, through self discovery, what is a movement that is best for all.

When and as I find myself moving as a belief, as an energy of self pity, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I remind myself that self pity is not myself focused here, seeing directly here, where it is only here that I can assess, and then remediate, within and as a common sense as a practice of informing myself of what is best for all, as the principle of give as one would like to receive, here.

When and as I find myself moving into the habit of compassion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I investigate the practical reality of being a physical form as life, and how I separate into value judgements,  and I self correct through self forgiveness until I am equal and one, at ease here.

When and as I find myself feeling uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I was born into a world where I was at the beginning of myself as life, small and that I did not have the practiced means of structure to communicate or understand what existed and moved within and as me, and as such that I can blame no one, for what I am, as the only solution is to become in common sense of that which enables myself as life here to exist, which is the physical.

When and as I find myself moving into self righteous morality, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that the only choice is to be at ease, here, as this is how I can cross reference, remediate, and assess what is here as in including the physical in form and function, in practice of expression as the means of expression is the physical, to see realize and understand self direction in ways that do no harm, here.

                                             DIPLite  FREE

                                            Eqafe.com Free Interviews

Day 412 Missing the structure of here.

Last night i heard that this boy in town had been hit by a car. Then I heard about how wonderful this boy was, how special, how smart. Then the complaining about the speed limits on the highway and how people do not pay attention when driving, listening to cell phones, texting.

I had been on this same spot on the highway and almost hit a car going 45 miles an hour. The car had been this chartreuse color, the same as the new spring leaves at that time, I did not see it on the horizon, and then I was watching the oncoming traffic because there was a train of cars, behind a huge prefab house on the back of a truck, the house unit on the truck extending outwards more than the width of the lane, so the truck was driving slowly as it just barely fit on the lane with the pre-constructed house section. My eyes had missed the small car waiting to make a left  that meshed with the color of the trees, as I watched this oncoming very large truck. It must have been about ten feet before the car that I noticed, and so I turned my steering wheel and headed for the trees, luckily I managed to pull myself out of the swerving motion, me heart pounding violently. I in essence had not really looked carefully, there was no one to blame but myself. I had made a habitual cursory look at my world. I can’t blame the car, or the car companies for making a car the same color as the new foliage. I can’t blame the partial house moving down the highway, I can’t blame anything but myself, I am a body, a human, who has arms and legs and eyes and ears, I steer here as a movable physical object able to sense the world, that is if I have been developed to use this structure of myself.

So, in hearing about this boy, I realized, that yes this is tragic, that this child attempted to cross a busy secondary highway without a cross walk and ended up getting hit and is now supposedly brain dead. We cannot really blame the highway, or the speed limit, or the summer roadrage from increased traffic. We cannot look to one aspect and blame that, we have to look at the totality of this world and understand the total picture and why what is here is here, understand the forms and the functions of the structure of what is here, what we have done with this, on all levels and realize how it is out of balance. This is just common sense. 

So, one complaint was that we needed signs on the road. I was getting angry at this point, I was not being clear, the rant of blame about the lack of signs, the speed limit, the summer tourists and their behavior, the cell phones usage. There was blame placed on limited things, and all the while the boy was talked about as being so special, such a special hardworking child.

It is interesting  living in a small town, the ones that can read, the children that learn to read to some extent, if I look now, they tend to die accidental deaths, and or of cancer, the townies that never do too well at school, the fisherman, the tradesmen, they die in different ways; suicide, inebriation of drugs and alcohol over a period of time. I know one townie boy, he would notice all the animals, like he was aware of the movement of the animals, another man here could use a rod to find water, which must be possible because we know barometric pressure exists, so this must be a sense that can be developed, I mean animals must use this.

This boy, this supposedly book smart boy, obviously misjudged while crossing a street and was hit by a car. He had misread the physical movement around him. Does not matter how many words he had running around in his head, they served no sensibility at that moment. This is not to deny the development of word usage. Our words are too busy being used to describe limited values, as what we label as special, which when asked specifically how someone was special, the answer is often limited because it is not about looking at the structure here, it is about the energy, a unity through an energetic feeling to have a quick fix of pity and sorrow this being what we have allowed to validate us, when this is what separates us from living, from being able to sense the forms and structures around us.

If we are so busy being judgements of what is good and what is bad, even to the point where we gain a energetic sense of being good vicariously through being a judgement of good and this is self interested proof validating self “ goodness” what are we doing? Is this the same as that boy was being the moment he miss-crossed that road, is this what was taught to be within himself, that he no longer had the sense of the physical world, the structure of the physical world here, all the dimensions of it, all the movements of it, because he was being caught in consciousness of limited values, a process where a state of being exists in a warped reality diminishing the substance of the physical into energy, out of balance as a value of good and bad? His whole sense of himself lacking a sense of here, and being a distorted value in - stead. His “ stead” thus reading  ideological values instead of physical, real tangible structures here, the real value, the means to be, real, here, that which is what is of value?

One of the things being said, over and over again, was that more signs were needed on the road. Perhaps the signs on the road are the problem, the signs on the road are showing the separation as the need for directions from without, instead of the development of awareness of the physical world within? Division and separation from physical awareness through limited values made huge through becoming a judgement of what is good and what is bad. We made the wrong choice, we choose the tree of good and evil, instead of becoming equal and one, in sense of the tree of life, the physical, we choose ideas and thus separated into a more than and less than world, and we use signs to keep us here because we as mind are in separation from here.

Thus, the solution is to not blame that there are not enough signs on the road, that the people in the cars are not paying attention because we are, none of us paying attention, an act of blame is a sign that we are not paying attention! We cannot look at and tout that this boy was special, because all boys ( and girls and animals and plants) are special because they are a physical form functioning as life. The sensibility development of this boy is the fault of all of us, and storms in teacups about parts of what is here, are the being in separation, screaming what is wrong and what is special is not looking at here.

If we teach our children to move as emotions and feelings accumulated through directives that are of judgement of what is good and what is bad only, then this is what becomes the focus of the child, and thus the separation of the child from reading the physical structure of here, using the physical body to even be able to sense barometric changes of which the physical is capable of doing, thus the gift of life is taken from us as we allow a system of more than and less than held up by money distribution,  as the manifestation without of our own capacity, like we are throwing away the gift of life. Our self abdication of life is really us throwing away life. The solution is to come back down to earth, and to equalize ourselves to life here, to forgive the acts of emotion and feeling built from thoughts of what is good and what is bad, to accept responsibility as life, through equalizing ourselves to physical reality. Instead of running around looking at energetic emotional/feeling values it is to move in understanding the structure of here as the physical world.

TIme to get out of our mind consciousness separation from equality with physical, real supportive reality, to use the gift of life to read here. The values of more than and less than must be brought back to the physical, the gift to become life here. Walk your projections of self definition as limited values back to self as life - DIP LIte - it is free.

Listen to the interviews about the separation of the human into a mind matrix of imagination of limited ideas causing abuse on earth in ignorance of physical reality, respect for life at Eqafe.

Support a economic structure that supports all life and respects the physical world, a Living Income Guarantee. It is the physical that supports life, and thus belongs to all of us as us, as it is many hands that have created here, as this is how it is done. The words of a delusional president that one hand feeds are are simply the indication of our separation from life as the image of such a statement bears no witness to life in common sense. A real leader gives self responsibility, they do not beLIEve inequality, values of more than and less than into idols of compounded self interest gone delusional.