Day 284 The Story of Inequality, No sustainability

http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?280234
Is is an interesting thing to realize that there are times when I was calm, and did not let the politics of greed bother me. I remained calm as though I could see a pattern that would eventually end, as there was no sustenance within the game being played.
I suppose I saw this within the politics of an orchestral group. And this existed within what was needed to hold oneself steady, that which had to be learned , or rather simply followed, as one had been burned to many times within becoming fearful.
Sometimes I would lead a section. And inevitably there came competition to usurp my spot. Sometimes I fell because I allowed this to get to me. Other times the whine of the competitor drove the administration and the conductor to give in, just to stop the incessant complaint.
But what would happen, is the complainer had no sustaining ability, the learning to complain had taken all sustenance out, the character had been set, and the desire to win had taken over. So, once something was won, off they went to another battle. And I was put back where i was, until the next aggressor came along. It took time for me to learn this.
The really nasty ones, who also eventually left- much like the stories of the kings and queens of medieval court- sought to eliminate, to remove the face of their desired place. Sometimes I was removed, only to sort out my own feelings of having lost something. I was not raised to be aggressive. And in the course of watching such, knew this was not an option I wanted to emulate. Yet, those times I came to believe myself inferior, I lost my own directive capacity and fell.
And this is not to say that i am better because I was not raised to be aggressive, it is just what was. There are moments when I digress and think that maybe it would have been better, but this pondering is crying over spilt milk, and there is no point in this. It is not what would sort out the existence of competition that is not supportive of life, the expression of life here on earth, meaning the absence of a need to eliminate, or abuse, or smother another voice.
I learned to remain calm in the face of the loud aggressive screaming for dominance, and waited to allow the drama to play out, as the actor of this proved to lack staying power, as is the nature of the breeding of such behavior. Similar to the aggression for power on earth, in the end there will be no staying power with men, unless they realize this is not how life can sustain itself on earth. It simply will not work, and it is not working. It is destructive, and the destruction from this is happening all over the globe. Support is sustaining, not the seeking of power. And the plants and the animals and the soils and people on earth are not being sustained, they are being moved around for power and supposed profit of more than, an illusion, as the value is life, is being, is interacting with this physical world, learning to express in and as the very substance of life, here.
So, I am reading this article today about what is happening in India with the grab of privatization of resources, where a few get a piece of paper saying they own something freely given by earth, and ignore all life in an effort to reap their supposed rewards, and to play dress up with a value given to blingy possessions, meanwhile there has been noeducation as to how to be life, to move as life, here, to transcend death, in becoming equal and one to and as life here. Whole peoples are moved off of vast stretches of land and armies are called in to stop the protest of these people who are forced to live in poverty. Is it any wonder why the poor continue protest, what else do they have, there are no other options for them really. And the media does what a purple pro does best, give the dispossessed a new perception label and tout it all over the media until it is believed. Thus do the poor who have had everything taken from them become, in this case, Maoist Gorillas. I mean really. This is as bad as the worst cartoon ever created. In fact it is a cartoon. Unfortunately, it is, as is a cartoon, an imagery so devoid of any depth of reality, with the promotion of stereotypes of good and bad, it is no wonder that few have considered how married the good and the bad are, as the two in totality being the problem, that this is really the play of inequality existent on earth that is the problem. The good and the bad, the more than and the less than, is a drama of inequality, endlessly running on screens all over the world, and so caught up in this drama is the human, that they cannot see this for what it is. We are being banged over the head with what we are allowing, and still we cannot see it. Incredible. The polarity game of inequality, the source of all stories, and no one sees that it is one entity so caught up in itself that it realizes its own destruction NOT. The snake eating its own tale/tail.

Mankind is the story of inequality. It is the story of destruction, it is the story of what not to allow. It is the story of dis-ease. It is the story of the separation from life.

Will there come a day, when children born on earth are told the story of man existing in inequality? That the monster under the bed was simply a belief made so huge as inequality that life was lost.

You decide.

Day 241 Consequence Dimension : Victim Chaaracter

Consequences Dimension : Victim Character
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the consequences of my separation into and as more than and less than, as emotions and feelings following an image of myself no longer being a relationship of togetherness with my friend, as the image of myself standing separate from the object of my friend, as though I have been divided into a part with the loss of my friend, as I stand before a friend sitting with a new group of friends in/as a reaction of myself believing something has been lost, as emotional judgements of less than intensifying to a judgement of more than, are myself in separation from what is real as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to simply see, realize and understand with the movement of the physical world around me, what in fact was reality, where my friend was maturing into a woman and was moving towards girls moving through the same experience, where within this had I looked at the structure, as the form of society within the divisions into and as groups and the beliefs of what is of greater and lesser value as behavior within and as class, and gender, as what - especially at this young age, what appears to gather more attention, more bling, more following, more excitement, more security within and as a group, which the childhood relationship that I had had with my friend appeared small and insignificant within the larger school as we had moved from town organized elementary school into regional middle schools, and within this I took this change personally, clinging to a past and not looking to the whole, and, also, within this, instead of existing as emotions - which are self interested movements of myself as illusion, as judgement, seeing only that something was lost, and probably being aware of the changes going on developmentally around me, I felt lost as I was not developing in this way at the time, thus I was only seeing what was being made huge, as the forming groups in middle school, where even those that realize the changes tended to not want to be with what was not cool as this was all that was seen, and within this rejected others of like status as the only status seen, a behavior that fit into what is made of more import than life within the media and family, which is to say that these qualities do not exist but that this is not all that exists, as there are many values, as qualities existent within men and this earth, thus to ignore some and make others huge, denies life, and creates a mono of the poly, as style, mannerisms, presentations as assumptions without practical sustainability or consideration of what is supportive of all life in and as the physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how becoming a victim within this supposed loss, was myself clinging to an idea, as what a past relationship existed as, and the context and the construct of a society created by man that has selected ideas and values presented to signify what enables survival within this collectively accepted system of selective and thus limited values as roles/tolls taken on and performed within what will bring more attention, within this context of middle school, where other values are left on the fringes, and as the human child has not been taught to develop themselves as life, and all that is presented is limited values catering to a system of profit, not understanding how the physical and the mind in fact function, in a world that suggests, as presented through media and family values, a system of survival and not a system that respects and works with what is real, this physical world, that which the human is one and equal to, and what it is that supports the human, the physical as this is life, equal and one.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am a victim within this, to not see, realize and understand myself as life, equal and one as the substance as the mass of myself as a physical being, and thus to move myself equal and one as this physical in consideration of being equal as the same substance as the physical as myself as life, that which is the starting point of reality and the gift as life, here.

I commit myself to remaining in and as breath, to stop and recognize value judgements as what i have been taught and the memories of myself as the past being points where I separated from the physical into and as judgement of more than and less than, ignoring how the physical world in fact functions, where I applied myself as energy as judgement of more than and less than, ignoring the physical through allowing limited values to become greater than life, thus was I separate from a self directed principle as myself as life, here.
I commit myself to , breathing, to realizing that the physical is one and equal to and as me, and thus that what is real is what is here within this moment of breath, here.
I commit myself to bringing myself back here, in and as breath.
I commit myself to realize how the judgements I have accepted and allowed, being values of more than and less than, are based on fear of loss within a system of survival, as consequence of an initial separation from being equal and one as life, here, by each and every human, that have become, through habitual being as mind as myself, emotional feeling bodies, which are collections of judgements lived as a directive again and again and again, to within this stop and breath, to bring myself back here equal and one to what is real, the physical.
I commit myself to becoming aware of myself as the physical, to sense when there is a movement of myself, as a sinking down - so to speak- from my head and chest into my lower back, to stop and to breath and to realize what i am doing within my mind that creates this energetic movement within and as myself, to equalize myself to here, and walk as life, equal and one to what is physically here, where life is fluid and not this distinctly oscillating presence, as what fear and anxiety exist as within and as the physical, where - come to think of it- animals don’t do this, where yesterday I experienced an example of this, as I was in a store I frequent, and the woman, as she talked with me, I noticed was shaking really minutely, and from here I noticed her breathing, which was shallow and uneven - so to speak, and so as I payed for my purchase, I noticed her mother was absent, so as I walked out, I stopped and asked her where her mother was, and she said she had been up in the city at the major hospital with her mother, who had been found to have a tumor on her spine, and with this questioning, the store owner, this woman, started to tell the story, all the while continuing to be a behavior of agitation and a shortness of breath, so I explained how her breathing and the absence of her mother had lead me to ask her if everything was okay with her/here, and then I said to her, to slow down and to breath, and to stand up straight, and she did, and the effect was immediate, she slowed down and the agitation diminished, and suddenly, there was like a more fluid movement within and as her, and the look on her face, was of surprise, and she looked at me and said, “ oh my god!”, thank you! ( which was nice!) and she also said that her whole body started to tingle and that she suddenly felt much better, which was cool, but this just goes to show that we as humans, get caught up in our fears to the extent that we separate from ourselves as life, breathing , here, and that we as humans are able, to self realize what we are allowing ourselves to exist as within into and as fear, and how through breath we can slow ourselves down and become more calm and fluid - so to speak, and thus direct ourselves to walk through the consequences we have allowed within existing within separation from what is real, the physical.

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• Day 236 Imagination Dimension/ Victim Character
• Day 237 Internal Conversations/Back Chat Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 238 Reaction Dimension : Victim Character
• Day 239 Behavior Dimension : Victim Character