Sunday, December 16, 2012

Day 237 Internal Conversations/Back Chat Dimension : Victim Character

Internal Conversations/Back Chat in the Head dimension : Victim Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have internal conversations of judgement, in a fear of loss, distorting reality through dividing what is here, as life, into values of more than and less than, making one aspect of here huge, in self interest, to protect myself, as I cling to an idea of myself which is an act of separation from what is one and equal in all existent as life, and thus, do I become as mind as energy into a judgement as dividing and measuring values, creating polarities of greater and lesser measure of life, instead of remaining in and as sound mind, in equality and oneness with the substance of creation to move as life, as what is best for all, as this is what i am, equal and one, and thus what is best for myself as best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, as the memory which I accepted and allowed, as a past event of judgement, noisy, as back chat, showing me my own separations and judgements of more than and less than, as a being of no substance, in allowing separation from absolute equality and oneness with life, as such words as “ She thinks she is so mature”, or “ “Does she think she looks cool now”, or “ Look at that tight shirt she is wearing, to show off her boobs”, “ What a stupid thing to do”. “ How slutty is that!” , “ I was friends with that!” , “ what has happened?”, “ I don’t have those things she now has”, “ I am just a hick” , “ She looks so cool”, ‘ How dare she just ignore me!”, “ I will get her for this”, “ Just wait and see!” “ I don’t have a best friend”, ‘Now I am alone”, “ what will others think of me!” and on and on and on, one bigemotional storm of anxiety and spite and blame burning away at my flesh as I create a living hell within and as myself here, in fear of loss, in fear of my own survival based on morals taught, varying by degree within class and culture, belief and opinion, as tradition - walls of separation from what is real and what is of value, the very beingness of myself as life, here, equal and one to the substance of creation, itself sound and constant, which I ignore and , as energy- as judgement- reject in favor of existing as a divisive mind consciousness system instead of realizing equality and oneness as the substance of life, as the substance of creation, as the gift of life, able to be centered here, in and as breath, where I as a human with two hands and two feet and the gift of expression, can stand and create a system that supports all life, through distributing the freely givenresources of earth to support this value as myself as an expression in and as life, realizing that should all life on earth be supported and thus existent within expression as life, in totality, the fire of the grid as mind as separation, as ignorance, would stop, and life on earth as heaven would begin.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become, as mind, discordant, as back chat, as voices in and as my mind of judgement, of separation, and looking at this action within, realizing this for what it is, to understand what i am within in totality, to begin to realize how this self centered allowance has created a system of inequality, as limited values made huge, which manifest as energetic storms within, and abuse and destruction without, as starvation, as resource devastation, as sex slavery, as accepted “ imperfect science” practices that turn the children into murderous reactions as behaviors of frustration and confusion as they have no understanding of what they are as life, as an advertising industry uses repetition to imbed a resonance of desire thus admitting to the fact the humans are water and can be resonantly programmed to follow , which actually uses the same principles of homeopathy in admitting and using resonance to program, where homeopathy suggests that resonances within a person can be cancelled out, and thus what is denied is actually used for profit, yet this conceptually is difficult to see in common sense with so much belief, opinion, and idea, resonating within each and every one of us as what we accept and allow, and thus, to return ourselves back to becoming self directive as life, first must we, each and every one, clean up what we have accepted and allowed, as we must each learn how we created and allowed to manifest on earth happened to ensure it never happens again, to stand strong and stable in and as ourselves as life, and from here, organize this world to be and become what is best for all, to respect life as what we are, and prevent destructive practices and suppression of life expression.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and my friend through seeing only loss in separation from understanding the existential fabric of separation as energy/mind movement, as consciousness, to not have looked at what exists in totality, and only acted in self interest, instead of realizing all of existence is me as life, as same substance.

I commit myself to breath, to remaining here, one and equal in consideration of all life, to see, realize and understand my own separations into values of more than and less than, as thought/image, as imaginations of petty, self pitying, blaming, anxious fear of loss, value judgement dramatic play outs in and as mind, limited scripts ignoring life, as back chat fanning personifications creating emotional feeling bodies that are reactions and behaviors of fear, creating a consequence of loss of self as life, as I only create more of what i allow myself to exist as, which is fear of survival, exactly what the growing system of debt on the many is creating on earth, as within so without, as above so below, destruction without starts as destruction within, as judgement, an act mankind has been told would lead to a day of judgement, which is what has been accepted and allowed with this earth as the gift of life, in how this gift was used, where there is time for man to stop and to breath life back into this gift as earth until it is too late, too late being man, consuming the resource of life sustenance without regard for the value being life, thus it is time to wake up and realize life is the value in working with what is physically here in common sense of this physical to investigate what is best for all and to chose what works for all absolutely, and not money, as money is the manifestation of judgement in determining life instead of realizing life as the value.

I commit myself to stop and to breath, and to see what separations from Life I have accepted and allowed through becoming aware of myself as mind, as consciousness, to see, realize and understand how I have separated myself in judgement and thus away from life.

I commit myself to realize that I am the cause of my own demise, and to stop and to breath, and to walk what is best for all, to use the tool of the mind, to show myself what judgement I have existed as and thus where i have ignored life in totality, to bring myself back in equality and oneness in and as life, here.

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