I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a scenario play out in my mind, as a memory, based on a past event to determine what i am here, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am allowing this past memory as judgement to define myself personally as the personification of being a victim as what I am here, instead of stopping , breathing, and realizing how I was seeing myself as less than and reacting within anger towards another, in self interested protection and defense in fear of loss of status and friendship, as I went into a sequence of behaviors as energy blaming and spiting another, creating friction and conflict for myself and the other, in not seeing how I existed as mind scanning my environment in terms of survival and gain.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe at the time, within one specific memory play out, that I was not allowed access to a group, believing myself to be less than based on face values of physical maturity and monetary display, taking it personally while the friendship supposedly lost was simply my friend maturing physically faster than myself and seeking like developing girls to face a change taking place, where I judged myself as less than within this and thus turning myself into a victim.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created all these thoughts around this as judgement, manipulating myself from a negative less than reaction into apositive more than belief, utilizing the morality of social class that I had been taught within my family, culture, society, instead of looking at what physical changes were taking place.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that were I in my friends shoes , I probably - wether right or wrong- have done the same thing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that all judgement as a thought is myself showing myself where I have separated from actually looking at this physical world and understanding how the physical world functions, and within this separating myself into some fuzzy logic as belief, opinion and idea, following cultural and class ideologies or non substantiating and directing movement as what is best for all, equalizing life as being the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anger, as reaction, within protecting myself, in fear of having loss some status, when nothing had been lost in reality, as I continued to exist and found other activities and interactions with others, this being myself here, interacting as life, here, so the idea of loss was indeed an illusion.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this past event to play out in my mind, and create a behavior where I scan my environment in anticipation of being measured as less than as I place some values above others and fear being measured as less than, which is, as I have seen, an ignorance of the reactions of others, themselves trying to understand this physical world and simply following limited values that are what is taught as a means of survival within a mind consciousness system of separation into and as energy as values of more than and less than, creating inequality within being one and equal to what is physically real, here.
I commit myself to, when and as I become the same behaviors coming up within and as myself, as being less than and then placating myself through making judgements that lead to myself as a “more than” to stop and to breath and to bring myself back into and as the physical, to understand what is here as the physical, and direct in common sense as to what is best for all, to be responsible for the behaviors within and without that are in separation from equality and oneness with and as life, here.
I commit myself to , when and as I find myself, having a memory flash by, in and as my mind, to stop and to breath, and to ground myself here, in and as breath, and to self forgive, through writing, any and all energetic movement within and as myself, realizing that such movement is a separation into a more than and less than mind consciousness belief, opinion and idea, in fear of survival, as my self existing in separation from what is directive and supportive of life in the realization that all life is equal.
I commit myself to when and as I also relive as this memory, a feeling of quilt that I am allowing myself to judge myself as less than based on my own demise, which in and of itself is not a solution but simply another end game of emotion I accept and allow unless I stop, and breath and realize such behavior is not within the principle of what is best for all, as the value being life.
I commit myself to realizing that each and every time I judge another, based on a morality sustaining survival, I am in separation from common sense of what is best for all, disrespecting myself as life, equal and one with what is here, so I stop and I breath and I direct within equalizing an understanding within communication to and towards what is best for all
Desteni
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