Day 491 Walking the process of the pain into a lightness of being. DIP Journey to life.

Pains come up with becoming equal as in walking the journey to life, the journey back in equality and oneness to and with the physical. These pains appear suddenly, feeling like needles are ripping through the flesh of the physical body that we humans have ignored, separated ourselves from as we choose the limitations of belief, opinion and idea, as a mind consciousness system. This is why our bodies stiffen with age and we do not notice because we are living in our minds as projections of ideological belief. When we choose to realize that what exists as what we are and as what this allows on this earth, there is no other choice but to stop and look and change the present system on this earth. To do this, the one thing we all seem to avoid, which is self responsibility, is what is needed. It must be walked. The gift of life as the physical is what we must accept and become equal and one to. This is the only way to life. This means no blame and no spite can exist within as a movement of each of us. And no one can do this for us. We each must do this for ourselves. Ironically, this means accepting the gift of life, here.

So, I was “ going into” with all the concentration and focus I am able to be at present, a pain that appeared in my stomach area. Very small needle like burning. As I focused on this, suddenly it appeared as a unfolding of a clear fabric like substance, which then turned into like a glass platform, this huge triangular geometric shape opening at the end of this image, this form. Then an image, a memory. I was in middle school standing in the orchestra room, looking over at my ex-”best friend” sitting with her “ new group.” The emotion game like a puff of smoke and it moved into a projection as a personification of myself, like this was a part of the presence of me. What was behind this, in a way, was more of an awareness of the whole situation, where i could see that my ex-friend’s choice had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her own decisions. At the same time, I realized that I had been doing the same thing in many ways, gathering data of this human social construct and weighing and measuring what directions to take within it. And that everyone was doing this. This was like seeing many leaves move on a tree, like seeing all the interactions at once. Within this the realization that my friend had not “ rejected” me, she was as I, as all of us, looking for what would support our survival, what would make us “ more,” what would lead to what would hide our insecurities and/or increase what we believed had value.

Suddenly, what I had believed, was not the whole story. It was only a part, and that part was from my own sense of pride. As we mature as adults, we realize these things were mis takes. But unless we self forgive them, speaking this, the resonance of it does not suddenly disappear. 

The another pain came, this time in my foot, and it was myself, younger, standing at a ballet bar, in a leotard, raising my leg. And there it was, a thought, the thought was, “ I am special.” This was not so much directed at another, it was from a joy of the structure I was learning, but the thought was that ‘I” was special. Seemingly innocent but self centered. And yet, here as well, to see what else, as the good behind the limiting thought that existed, as this memory opened, but that one thought was done in self interest, and this was what was made huge and became a part of the personification of myself, as I see this, the presence of this is a part of what is projected as an entity of myself. One aspect made huge in a moment of self interest, where behind it is the life and the value. The self interest need not exist. and within this I suppose there is more layered within. It would make sense, why we have been told not to judge, because such moments of judgements are separations from what is the value, which is to realize that the value is life, in each breathe here, where there is no need for self interest as a more than. And in many ways, we are taught this within our society - which means what we are taught leads to our demise. I mean, I had heard said that many precocious children stop expanding as their early promise when the reach their mid twenties. Is it that the collective positive reinforcement becomes the reinforcement of limitation as self aggrandizement?

I could see where this one thought done with what would be considered an innocent pride could lead to eventually believing myself to have been hurt when my friend changed her game plan in middle school. My reaction was based on a feeling of pride. I clearly had no understanding of how I was composed, and yet, I did if I had simply made the choice to look at the whole context of how others moved around me. Instead I allowed my own emotional storm as a fear of loss consume me.

Now, after this another memory game, it was of myself standing in defiance, arms crossed. I was going to prove my worth, that I was more than the choice my friend had made. I ended up taking a route that in the end kept me very busy, and I never had to do with my ex-friend again. But my impetus was as a reaction, and based in self interest and insecurity as I had denied self awareness within common sense, i followed and reacted to ideas of loss instead. I directed from a starting point as an idea that ignored the behaviors of humans within the physical world around me. And, everyone was moving into ideas of what was more within such a limited context, everyone acting in self interest, a blindness to reality. All looking for definition and hiding emotional insecurities that existed because of the separation! That is just insane. it is true that we argue our own limitations. I believe that the boy in the story The Tin Drum screamed because he simply imitated the behaviors of men, the constant scream of limitation.

What desteni talks about we all know we are doing. We can see the memories that have accumulated, and the cries of them trying to show us our own limitation. They are layered, and they grow and spread through our physical bodies, tearing at our flesh, but we do not hear them, even as we age and become stiff, unable to flex our backs. Wanting to sleep as the weight of our separation bears down with each passing year.

With self forgiveness, writing and self corrective application, just as Bernard Poolman revealed, as the separations are self forgiven, a lite-ness comes, a lessening of the burden of the judgements of the need to fear, of the need to vent. That initial spot on my stomach became lighter, of less weight. As I self forgive these memories I become lighter, more flexible. It is the most amazing feeling. It is an incredible relief.  So, you see, the choice of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application within walking the desteni I process is a gift to self of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have allowed myself to believe that my friend had rejected me.

i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look beyond my own limitations as judgements as mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look at my friend and with spite and blame become an accusation as a judgement that she hurt me in leaving me to become part of another group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel hurt.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel humiliated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel inferior, in and as judging the the new group as being mature and sophisticated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel inferior to this new group, because they were all turning into young women and I was not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my friend was changing physiologically and wanted to be with others within the same experience, which I probably would have done as well given the values of the present accepted and allowed system as men on earth, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have blamed my friend for rejecting me, and within this judging her group as stuck up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others without seeing realizing and understanding changes and what is a good within and as wanting to explore new situations , even though within the limited platform accepted and allowed by men that ignores the development of self as life in common sense where there is really no choice but the choice of what is best for all, which means being aware of physical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see to the whole as the movement of men as mind consciousness systems in separation and as such hiding accepted limitations as the consequence of lack of common sense and to see realize and understand that within this, this separation is unacceptable, but also to realize that i was the same and as this made judgements and reacted to this limitation instead of taking the time to look at the whole as this and to realize the only solution was to remain as myself in common sense which is myself being empathetic and realizing that there is no such thing as being rejected as I am here able to stand in common sense and realize that I as life  can either choose to move as what is best for all and allow myself as life to exist, or believe that the self interested actions of others define me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it was I who judged myself as being rejected, and within this it was myself who was in fact the one rejecting within and as separating myself from common sense, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to judge the actions of another, I stop and I breath and I walk in their shoes and realize that more than likely, within the present accepted and allowed system I would make the same choice, and even within this, to realize the choices of others does not define who and what I am as it is what I project onto others  that I allow to become a limited definition of what i experience in the absence of respecting myself as life.

When and as I find myself judging another for the choices they make I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that IN realizing with empathy and compassion, as in using my heart, myself as hearth, as earth I can slow myself down and realize in common sense the whole, and see, realize and understand I can choose judgement as hurt or I can stop and breath and use the ability of myself as heart to common sense the whole and place and move within and as what is best for all, which is myself as the lightness of being here, realizing that the value is being here, one and equal to life, giving as I would like to receive, and in this instance, realizing that my friend was simply choosing what fit the experiences she was walking in the moment and that right there before me an experience that lead to myself becoming more aware within a certain context.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea as a thought within and as me as pride, to be proud of myself for what i have achieved and within this to not have realized that what was the value was there behind the thought as the realization that it was the structure that as in self development as a physical being that was the value.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I am special.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i was special.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from being equal and one in common sense of the whole and to accept a thought as myself as being special to become more than the actual physical context as an expression in and as life here.

When and as I find myself within and as a persona, as an entity life presence as pride, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself back into and as common sense as the heart of me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction as a belief that i need to prove my worth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe myself inferior to another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then create a fantasy that I am superior to another and as this to criticize the action of another which is myself acting in protection and self defense based on a fear of loss and within this to believe that this defines me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to the choices of another within limited insight.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that within the play-outs in middle school the experiences probably would not have changed, but within them myself as less reactive and more aware as what I was as how I was within being more aware of the whole as I was capable of as common sense.

Thus when and as I find myself reacting emotionally I stop and I breath and I check my thoughts and my judgements and I slow myself down and use my heart, myself as earth, as the physical and I see, realize and understand the whole in and as looking at the whole context of here which at the moment is men in separation within a system that is the consequence of separation into a knowledge of good and evil which is judgement as separation from common sense of the whole and thus as such lacking practical application within understanding and respecting the value being life here, thus, I slow myself down and choose what is best for all, here.

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Day 301 Children: breath, vocabulary, conceptual directiveness; the physical

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tony-zini/we-need-a-revolution-lite_b_2787180.html

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/education/breathe-in-breathe-out-a-way-to-conquer-students-stress/article9156091/

In the two articles above there are two different elements within child development that tell us what we as humans are lacking. Both point to a lack of awareness of the very depth of ourselves as an ability to be here, aware of here, as breath and as conception of here.
We tell ourselves we lack a common sense of here, within our vocabulary as a means to describe here, and within physically being in awareness at all times of our bodies within each breath we take, this breath allowing a grounding within and as ourselves physically.
Where are we that this should be noted and discussed in articles?
How have our children lost what enabled them to learn to walk and talk? What happened? How could such a separation happen? What is taking the place of what was obviously an initial awareness?
Think of adults who have had devastating accidents and must learn to walk and talk from the beginning? It takes them months, years, and may never return to full faculty of movement they once had. Had they become automatic in their movements, and this being the same that happens with children, to the extent that there are articles suggesting that returning to breath must become a practice?
A greater vocabulary enables communication, without which a child remains confused, as they cannot clarify what they sense, they have not the means to measure the forms and structures of what is here. And, imagine, if they must learn to re-member themselves to breath, what else must be re-membered to even be able to describe it even if they did have the vocabulary? In this we can see that many adults are locked into knowledge and information memorized with no connective physical awareness, and thus, how do different memorized blocks of communication, as in different professions, even have a capacity to translate and communicate a form and function of what is happening here? If one becomes knowledge and information only, this would create a limitation, like a recitation of words no longer contextually physically aware of how we are life here, with faculties able to see and understand what is physically here, as the very substance of the physical here.
Would these limited auto-mization of con-sequences of data be more mechanistic, like a computer than a means of description of what is here? This is like life in reverse, like the knowledge and information has become an “idol” instead of the tool to view the world, to interact conceptually with what is here. Hence, the need for children to re-member themselves as breath, to bring them back, from having been taken away from, a common sense of being aware of what is the conception of them as the physical. This is seriously messed up, and makes it very very obvious, that the separation is the cause of any behavioral action of frustration, reacting, spiting, blaming, dissing, rebelling, suicide, protest, the list is endless. Is this separation the root of all dis-ease? It would make sense that it is, because being aware here, and within understanding here, creates awareness of the whole, this allowing stability. This article on breath, makes this clear, that these children that practice returning to an awareness in breath, can calm reactive behaviors and regain control of themselves.
Here, we see, that we humans can know what we are doing, what we have allowed, and we have the means to correct this separation in children.
There really is no excuse to not have this become the direction with all children, as it is a way of realigning the children back to here, through physical awareness, so that the children can self direct. This would remove a lot of money being spent on managing what is now known as behaviors that are simply a child lacking self awareness with the physical world. It is a win-win situation for all of us.
We must also ask ourselves what is distracting the children from themselves, what mechanisms are within out society that are great separations? Where are our children becoming passive instead of active participants with themselves physically?

Is television something that allows for active quantum participation with the physical world? No, it is limited, is is taking in pictures, not reality, and it offers no physical interaction, thus it develops no physical awareness. Yet it does use a mechanism the child has within memory, but it is one sided and thus not something to allow beyond a small degree. it could be used to set an initial framework, but this is about it. It must be remembered that this is all that has been done, an initial framework set, so this has to be taken and applied physically for any real awareness and understanding to become equal in physical awareness as this is where communication and self direction exists, as this is what is real, a picture is just a picture, it needs, just as the children need, a breath to realize the movement of it, as an expression, as physical conception becoming equal and one.
Here I think of playing the violin; I can have an idea, an image of how to hold the instrument, but unless I physically apply this knowledge within total awareness, breathingmyself into being aware of myself physically, I will have behaviors of lack in my ability to play, I have to conceptually put it all together physically, or no sound of substance will be produced. I can have a sheet of notes in front of me, but if I do not know how to read them, I cannot produce, and if I do not have control of myself physically, I cannotchange between loud and soft sounds, and thus my expression lacks dimension, as I have not yet incorporated an ability to change within these dimension, to play with them, to express their nature, to be aware of them. I lack physical conception even if I have an idea, as a picture in my mind as a framework, I have not actually breathed life into the idea to see if it is valid, or of the construct as the idea, works with what is here physically, or, if i make this one idea greater than another, is distorts and creates an imbalance in my playing. So the knowledge is not bad or good, it simply has its place within the physical multidimensional manifestation.
Let’s look at another article, one that states that children who are spoken to as fixed within being a “state” of something and ones that are praised within being an action, understanding and action. One creates children that become insecure, as they see themselves as a label and not as an instrument moving into a state of awareness making what they are as lack needing to move into understanding, where the limiting labeling presents an idea that movement is impossible, you are here, and here you stay, there is not way out. A subtle psychological manipulation, which, when understood would no longer be so subtle, this just indicates how ignorant and non-aware we are, as knowledge and information, as ideas, opinions and beliefs, without physical integration and understanding of directive states of being, have no common sense, meaning have no balance conceptually actively physically, thus the physical is needed to validate, substantiate.
http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/sept08/vol66/num01/The-Power-of-Our-Words.aspx
If we take this and go even further into the world system, we see that many things are practiced and stated as law, on paper only. There is removal from seeing what is physically created here. There are numerous situations where physical reality is denied voice, as this would reveal that ideas practiced are not considering the actual physical world. I think of fracturing practices in America. Here, government offices are shut down to dis-allow local, ground level , physical level voice of what is actually happening with imposed ideology. The fact that the government has shut down local environmental offices is a clear indication that the physical outcome is to be hidden, not allowed voice. This obviously is a crime against life, against the physical, the very thing that allow life, and shows us how to be life, here, as the physical as understanding is reached through a balance of all characteristic dimension.
Economically, this is also prevalent within usury. Usury does not support life, it sequesters the values derived from the resources as the physical, through placing this value into/onto paper - once again- and then rendering this value on paper into a system of inequality, which is to say creating an imbalance within spreading out what is here as freely given resources to support physical development into awareness of itself as life. An obvious crime against life.
So what is here is not good or bad, it is how what is here is used, that is causing the separation from ourselves existing and moving as life, using the framework of what is here to align ourselves with life, to utilize the instrument of the physical world to express ourselves as life. We have accepted a system to that is not breathing. And, as within, so without, as above, so below, our children are not breathing, just as this earth is gasping for air because it has been abused in separation from itself as the physical, as physical awareness is not allowed voice, and the physical is where equality in and as ideas are aligned to create a functioning directive expression, a common sense alignment. This is the gift of life.
Also, obviously, if children mirror corrective behaviors within using breath to calm themselves and direct themselves, this is the nature of the human, and when known, would become the will of the human. Breathing here, re-membering self with the physical, would be the will as the nature of using this gift of life as the physical, because it would place idea, opinion and belief, desire, want and need into perspective as what, in common sense, allow expression. So, the idea and belief, that human nature cannot change is a fallacy, this is simply a falsehood, as our children show us, this fallacy is simply an existence of lack of re-membrance of equality and oneness to and as the physical.
Everything in moderation, meaning all must be physically moderated with and as what is physically here, communicated into and as physical awareness. This means there is a lot of work to do to reorganize this world, into and as what is best for all, to use the structures created by men to align ourselves with the physical world, in common sense. Thus all use of systems, created by generations of men, including developed technology, in common sense, could not have been physically developed by one man, or a small group of men, even the ideas are not that of a few, thus, all of what is here, belongs to all men, as nothing here, was developed singularly, is is here because of all that is here, and thus all that is here belongs, is of, all that is here. The idea of ownership does not work in practice, as can be seen within the existent abuse on this planet. Real ownership means re-membrance as breath in equal awareness of the physical world as the gift of life. We are here, as life, in the physical which is also life, to take care of this instrument that allows us to become equal to and as life, in expression, and for that we need a healthy, functioning physical world, treated, cared for, with respect, as it is us and we are it, without it we lose our breath, and thus, are ability/chance, to be and become life, to re-member ourselves as life, here.

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Physical Alignment in Equality and Oneness = Life in Expression