Day 491 Walking the process of the pain into a lightness of being. DIP Journey to life.

Pains come up with becoming equal as in walking the journey to life, the journey back in equality and oneness to and with the physical. These pains appear suddenly, feeling like needles are ripping through the flesh of the physical body that we humans have ignored, separated ourselves from as we choose the limitations of belief, opinion and idea, as a mind consciousness system. This is why our bodies stiffen with age and we do not notice because we are living in our minds as projections of ideological belief. When we choose to realize that what exists as what we are and as what this allows on this earth, there is no other choice but to stop and look and change the present system on this earth. To do this, the one thing we all seem to avoid, which is self responsibility, is what is needed. It must be walked. The gift of life as the physical is what we must accept and become equal and one to. This is the only way to life. This means no blame and no spite can exist within as a movement of each of us. And no one can do this for us. We each must do this for ourselves. Ironically, this means accepting the gift of life, here.

So, I was “ going into” with all the concentration and focus I am able to be at present, a pain that appeared in my stomach area. Very small needle like burning. As I focused on this, suddenly it appeared as a unfolding of a clear fabric like substance, which then turned into like a glass platform, this huge triangular geometric shape opening at the end of this image, this form. Then an image, a memory. I was in middle school standing in the orchestra room, looking over at my ex-”best friend” sitting with her “ new group.” The emotion game like a puff of smoke and it moved into a projection as a personification of myself, like this was a part of the presence of me. What was behind this, in a way, was more of an awareness of the whole situation, where i could see that my ex-friend’s choice had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her own decisions. At the same time, I realized that I had been doing the same thing in many ways, gathering data of this human social construct and weighing and measuring what directions to take within it. And that everyone was doing this. This was like seeing many leaves move on a tree, like seeing all the interactions at once. Within this the realization that my friend had not “ rejected” me, she was as I, as all of us, looking for what would support our survival, what would make us “ more,” what would lead to what would hide our insecurities and/or increase what we believed had value.

Suddenly, what I had believed, was not the whole story. It was only a part, and that part was from my own sense of pride. As we mature as adults, we realize these things were mis takes. But unless we self forgive them, speaking this, the resonance of it does not suddenly disappear. 

The another pain came, this time in my foot, and it was myself, younger, standing at a ballet bar, in a leotard, raising my leg. And there it was, a thought, the thought was, “ I am special.” This was not so much directed at another, it was from a joy of the structure I was learning, but the thought was that ‘I” was special. Seemingly innocent but self centered. And yet, here as well, to see what else, as the good behind the limiting thought that existed, as this memory opened, but that one thought was done in self interest, and this was what was made huge and became a part of the personification of myself, as I see this, the presence of this is a part of what is projected as an entity of myself. One aspect made huge in a moment of self interest, where behind it is the life and the value. The self interest need not exist. and within this I suppose there is more layered within. It would make sense, why we have been told not to judge, because such moments of judgements are separations from what is the value, which is to realize that the value is life, in each breathe here, where there is no need for self interest as a more than. And in many ways, we are taught this within our society - which means what we are taught leads to our demise. I mean, I had heard said that many precocious children stop expanding as their early promise when the reach their mid twenties. Is it that the collective positive reinforcement becomes the reinforcement of limitation as self aggrandizement?

I could see where this one thought done with what would be considered an innocent pride could lead to eventually believing myself to have been hurt when my friend changed her game plan in middle school. My reaction was based on a feeling of pride. I clearly had no understanding of how I was composed, and yet, I did if I had simply made the choice to look at the whole context of how others moved around me. Instead I allowed my own emotional storm as a fear of loss consume me.

Now, after this another memory game, it was of myself standing in defiance, arms crossed. I was going to prove my worth, that I was more than the choice my friend had made. I ended up taking a route that in the end kept me very busy, and I never had to do with my ex-friend again. But my impetus was as a reaction, and based in self interest and insecurity as I had denied self awareness within common sense, i followed and reacted to ideas of loss instead. I directed from a starting point as an idea that ignored the behaviors of humans within the physical world around me. And, everyone was moving into ideas of what was more within such a limited context, everyone acting in self interest, a blindness to reality. All looking for definition and hiding emotional insecurities that existed because of the separation! That is just insane. it is true that we argue our own limitations. I believe that the boy in the story The Tin Drum screamed because he simply imitated the behaviors of men, the constant scream of limitation.

What desteni talks about we all know we are doing. We can see the memories that have accumulated, and the cries of them trying to show us our own limitation. They are layered, and they grow and spread through our physical bodies, tearing at our flesh, but we do not hear them, even as we age and become stiff, unable to flex our backs. Wanting to sleep as the weight of our separation bears down with each passing year.

With self forgiveness, writing and self corrective application, just as Bernard Poolman revealed, as the separations are self forgiven, a lite-ness comes, a lessening of the burden of the judgements of the need to fear, of the need to vent. That initial spot on my stomach became lighter, of less weight. As I self forgive these memories I become lighter, more flexible. It is the most amazing feeling. It is an incredible relief.  So, you see, the choice of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application within walking the desteni I process is a gift to self of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have allowed myself to believe that my friend had rejected me.

i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look beyond my own limitations as judgements as mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look at my friend and with spite and blame become an accusation as a judgement that she hurt me in leaving me to become part of another group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel hurt.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel humiliated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel inferior, in and as judging the the new group as being mature and sophisticated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel inferior to this new group, because they were all turning into young women and I was not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my friend was changing physiologically and wanted to be with others within the same experience, which I probably would have done as well given the values of the present accepted and allowed system as men on earth, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have blamed my friend for rejecting me, and within this judging her group as stuck up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others without seeing realizing and understanding changes and what is a good within and as wanting to explore new situations , even though within the limited platform accepted and allowed by men that ignores the development of self as life in common sense where there is really no choice but the choice of what is best for all, which means being aware of physical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see to the whole as the movement of men as mind consciousness systems in separation and as such hiding accepted limitations as the consequence of lack of common sense and to see realize and understand that within this, this separation is unacceptable, but also to realize that i was the same and as this made judgements and reacted to this limitation instead of taking the time to look at the whole as this and to realize the only solution was to remain as myself in common sense which is myself being empathetic and realizing that there is no such thing as being rejected as I am here able to stand in common sense and realize that I as life  can either choose to move as what is best for all and allow myself as life to exist, or believe that the self interested actions of others define me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it was I who judged myself as being rejected, and within this it was myself who was in fact the one rejecting within and as separating myself from common sense, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to judge the actions of another, I stop and I breath and I walk in their shoes and realize that more than likely, within the present accepted and allowed system I would make the same choice, and even within this, to realize the choices of others does not define who and what I am as it is what I project onto others  that I allow to become a limited definition of what i experience in the absence of respecting myself as life.

When and as I find myself judging another for the choices they make I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that IN realizing with empathy and compassion, as in using my heart, myself as hearth, as earth I can slow myself down and realize in common sense the whole, and see, realize and understand I can choose judgement as hurt or I can stop and breath and use the ability of myself as heart to common sense the whole and place and move within and as what is best for all, which is myself as the lightness of being here, realizing that the value is being here, one and equal to life, giving as I would like to receive, and in this instance, realizing that my friend was simply choosing what fit the experiences she was walking in the moment and that right there before me an experience that lead to myself becoming more aware within a certain context.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea as a thought within and as me as pride, to be proud of myself for what i have achieved and within this to not have realized that what was the value was there behind the thought as the realization that it was the structure that as in self development as a physical being that was the value.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I am special.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i was special.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from being equal and one in common sense of the whole and to accept a thought as myself as being special to become more than the actual physical context as an expression in and as life here.

When and as I find myself within and as a persona, as an entity life presence as pride, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself back into and as common sense as the heart of me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction as a belief that i need to prove my worth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe myself inferior to another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then create a fantasy that I am superior to another and as this to criticize the action of another which is myself acting in protection and self defense based on a fear of loss and within this to believe that this defines me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to the choices of another within limited insight.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that within the play-outs in middle school the experiences probably would not have changed, but within them myself as less reactive and more aware as what I was as how I was within being more aware of the whole as I was capable of as common sense.

Thus when and as I find myself reacting emotionally I stop and I breath and I check my thoughts and my judgements and I slow myself down and use my heart, myself as earth, as the physical and I see, realize and understand the whole in and as looking at the whole context of here which at the moment is men in separation within a system that is the consequence of separation into a knowledge of good and evil which is judgement as separation from common sense of the whole and thus as such lacking practical application within understanding and respecting the value being life here, thus, I slow myself down and choose what is best for all, here.

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Day 485 The mass of christ is the word of equality. It is earth-heart-hearth as all as one as equal.

If our words are not of what actually exists then we are not what actually exists. If we do not look at what is happening in the world, we cannot realize what is actually going on systemically, and as this we abdicate our responsibility, we abdicate talking about it, looking at it and asking ourselves why such a thing exists, because we then must change what it is that is allowing abuses that exist all over the planet. This is really like not wanting to face solution which makes no sense at all, especially on a world where men have created the present system, generations of them, and as this, men, the collective must begin to work together to become what is best for all, which is a process of becoming aware of oneself. What other action is there that is of worth here on earth, an action that allows one to become aware of one’sself as life? Would this not fulfill oneself of life so much more than chasing that idea of fulfillment that never plays out and only leads to more desire of un-fullfillment?

We all know that having an expensive car is cool because the machines we build are cool in many ways, but that car does not give any real eternal sense of security. What happens is the desire for another car, or another thing because somehow there remains a sense of lack within. Also, the car cannot be enjoyed because the cost of it is such that something can be lost as we have allowed money and things, as objects to become more of a value that actually being here enjoying physical presence and expression as life. This is why there cannot be any real life until all people and all things of this planet are at ease equally as life, as that awareness of what we are here as. The volume of ourselves as life is so diminished that we keep wanting something to fill it with a substance that completes us, but this cannot happen from without only, it must be what one is as an expression from within, and what one is as life is this, thus we are really suppressing what we are as life and then taking on an idea, a very limited idea to be expression as ourselves, building an alternate reality called consciousness as mind of pictures to be life, when it is a reflection of lesser values and has no power to sustain itself because it is not equal to life.

The physical world is life, it is the gift to equalize self to and as life. The crosses we bear are our quantum minds built of various limited beliefs that separate us, these can be seen as class, as nationality etc. etc. and we are using the ecology of the earth to maintain an economy that maintains separation from realizing the value is life. Thus, are minds as the collective ideology and imagery are self built, self accepted and allowed crosses that we are carrying within, and these are our crosses that are the self built would( wood) of crucifixion, our minds show us the parts of our own fiction that separates us from life, from respecting the physical world, from doing no harm to this earth, to respecting everything that is here and realizing that the physical is equal to us as life. Behaviors  of destruction to anything here, are behaviors of separation, they are the being and the having of inner ideas as mind, that lead to insecurity and an inability to have a common sense of reality, the physical. 

There is only one gift to give, and that is equality, to give as one would like to receive. Thus a system must be placed on this planet that allows this. This is a Living Income Guarantee, where all life has stability, and within this the ability to help a neighbor as oneself. To have the ease from economic stress to slow down and take the time to look around and realize solutions that are sustainable and supportive. The really cool part of this, is that in the process each would become more aware of how the physical world is creation and how this works, thus an understanding of self that is solid and stable would be the gift. Is this not the best gift that we can all give to ourselves? This can be done, it is only the quantum mind composed of our accepted and allowed limited insight made picture endlessly looping around that separate us. The tools to slow down and realize this are here. The course of action through this is free and the only way is to walk through our own created valleys as mind of the shadows of death. These appear huge, but they are but the smoke from the friction caused by separation from self as life.

It is like we are building our own crosses of separation and spiting this action in a blind rage of fear. And all we need do is take a breath, slow down and stop and look. 

We cannot allow what is happening on earth, We cannot allow the devastation to nature. We cannot allow the frustrated behaviors of survival to continue, as these are the consequence of lack for which we are all to blame, because every part of this planet is us, what happens on every point happens to all of us. 

We are each breaking our own hearts within and as such breaking this earth without as we are allowing a polarity playout as mind of good vs. bad, which is the movement of ourselves in judgement instead of common sense and respect for everything, which means the actual real physical, that which is the means of expression. We each are not allowing ourselves to give as life as what we are, and using the physical world to be and do this.

Thus, the present system of hierarchy is a reflection of ourselves within as limitation as quantum mind. This limitation voices itself as thoughts, that accumulate into emotions and feelings, of good and of bad, the positive and the negative, and we as flesh deteriorate just as the earth is, as we consume the physical to maintain our limited alternate reality as mind. And as this, our hearts/earth/hearth breaks with us as us, and instead of giving as we would like to receive which is the joy of life, we build idols of idea about how we should appear and be just to survive the crying of our own accepted and allowed state of limitation.

The system represents the playout of this behavior, the extremes exit and the degrees between the extremes of this system of limited awareness of life. The wealthy are just one end of the spectrum of our separation and the impoverished are the other. Both exist because the collective allows this. Thus we cannot blame either, and it will take many of us to change this, to create a society that is constant in creating stability on earth. A child born into a stable environment tends to do better, thus children that are unstable and grow up to be used as a commodity, cannot be blamed, as they have had no exposure to development and know only extreme survival behaviors. All of this can change as we change what we have allowed as the sound of ourselves within, through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, changing the very resonance of ourselves, and as this the very substance of what we are within can change, that is the power we have as life as what we are, we need only accept it and walk.

When ever something new is started , the turning, the changing of direction seems very very slow, and at moments it appears that the old habit will not move, and this is because it is stuck. But this can change, because it is of a substance as a sound, and that can be redirected. So, the beginning change seems slow and almost impossible, but with concerted effort, the slowing down and looking begins, and then the movement and/or state can be seen. We have all experienced this, in modern lingo I have heard it called a “ eureka “ moment. Then the new movement must be practiced until it is understood and automatic ( now within this realize what our media has been doing, as the extreme end of the spectrum as the elite that have cloistered the wealth from labor and resources created by all of us, this innate ability of ourselves as life is being used thus it exists). So, this ability to sense here, this that builds here, can slowly build awareness that is equal and one to the physical world. The physical earth is life, and self as life would leave nothing behind,  would never waste the very substance of life because all of it is the fabric of what builds here, thus all of it is of value. 

So, with a Living Income Guarantee, we can begin to realize the value being life and build a world that respects and takes the very stuff of the fabric of life to build a heaven on earth, where each heart can have a hearth to enjoy self as life and be life in thought, word and deed, as the principle of give as you would like to receive. This is the real mass of Christ as the message of equality.

Begin the Journey To Life.

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