a widows journey to life: primary

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want security, not realizing that in wanting this security I am in separation from myself as life, here, as being life is the security, is the value, as what i am, yet within a system that does not value life, and values commodities and the grabbing of freely given resources in self interest, life is ignored and placed within servitude to a false secondary god, blind to this false self glorification, that is itself made of the substance of life, and cannot exist without this as what it is, thus has a false god been worshipped, a totem made in separation from what is the value, the gift given, which is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my anxiety is a desire to be secure, an action of myself believing something can be lost, when what will be lost is what is not real, what has not been valued, which is life, as what I am, as what all that is here is the very substance of, made secondary to ownership of resource, and thus diminished into servitude to the glorification of object as primary, when what is real, what is absolute is the very substance of what is here, that is what all that is here is, which is life, being alive, thus all judgements are limitations and of no direction, supporting and directing that which is the value , which is life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in not allowing what is here to express itself as the form of itself, is to deny life, to fear losing one;s position within a hierarchy that idolizes a false god, as the commodity, the object, the ownership is to continue the denial of life, as this is what is real , as this is the constant, where the object and the resource change form and never remain the same, thus the value is being, is life, thus this is what is primary, as what is the same within all that is here, thus all there is, is to be forgiving of oneself in and as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being life is about being forgiving of oneself in and as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how much idolatry I allow and accept myself to exist as, where I am so busy in worship that I no longer see what is primary, which is life/being and instead I see the heresy and the object, where I have been lead to believe that one object is more than another, when this is myself no longer able to see life, as I no longer am able to see what is the real value, which is life. thus my own judgements are indicative of my separation from life, and my idol worship, and I was warned not to worship a false god, as this would lead to division and war, abuse and neglect of life, which is exactly what is manifest on this earth, where many are staving, many are existing in diminished health, in lack of self development in and as life, where the very state of this earth, as the gift of life, has been misused, and slowly moves towards extinction, as we see with so many of the animals that are here, where we have become so separated from life, that we, the human, will leave a dog in a cage and forget about that dog, allow it to starve and live a horrible existence because we can no longer see what is the value, which is life, thus we are all equally responsible for what exists on this earth, as each of us fears to stand up as ourselves as life here, not realizing that this must be done and that it is the only way out, each and every one of us must stand and realize the primary value is life, and thus life must be supported as all as one as equal, and what will be given is what is the gift, as life, where earth will become heaven on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is only forgiveness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is no security among idol worshippers.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the worship of an idol, be it an obsession with a desire, or possession, will consume the worshipper , as this is an act of war against life, which s exactly what exists on this earth today, where more money is spent on war than on life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this behavior of pathological destruction is the outcome of separation from life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that administrators are so caught up in their making of money, and so departmentalized that when they discover a problem they go to another department and hear what they want to hear, and do not actually go and investigate for themselves, because if they were to, they would find the unacceptable and then have to report this, and that would mean the end of their jobs, thus the only solution is to stand and change this world into a system that supports all life, which can be done from a desk, through supporting through democratic means, standing up and voting for an equal money system, to start organizing this world into a system that supports all life, where life is the value, instead of a false god.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there are penis worshippers, who would rather march to have the foreskin of a penis cut off, and thus within this act be so consumed with a piece of skin on a penis that comes before the consideration of children being forcibly taken and made to work on chocolate plantations in the Ivory Coast, where they receive no education and are left without any means of self development, and this is placed second to a belief that a piece of skin on a penis should be taken off.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how jerking off to a picture of a naked lady is , be it a memory in the mind, or a picture, is the worship of a false idol, as this is separation from what is here, life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that buying sex from a child, is forcing a life into one’s own idol worship and is not self being and respecting self as life, or life in general, as the respect of that child as life is ignored, with no consideration of the potential of that child as life, thus self as life is non existent, and self as life is responsible for self as life, as this is the only way to become life, to stand as self as life , here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within such an existence there is no security, as the separation from what is the value, from what is real, obviously leads to behaviors that consume as they never lead to the autonomous expression of life, which is the meaning of worshipping a false idol/god as one is not forgiving life, as this is the value.

I commit myself to realizing that to worry about security in a world of false worship is like trying to find a safe haven in a world overrun with zombies, just as we tell ourselves in the movies and shows we create, as we all know what we are doing, yet we want someone else to stand up and take care of this for us.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding the common sense of the need to change the world into and as a system of equality, where life is supported as the value, and thus will life become existence on earth, as what is supported is what is experienced, and right now with the growing number of homeless in America, life is not what is being lived, but fear, and homelessness,, insecurity and the growing profits for the few.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that the growing number of suicides within men in our society, is indicative of hopelessness within a system of economic slavery known as debt, where in order to stop this, all debt must be forgiven and freely given resource must be distributed to support life as there is enough on this earth to support life, all that need be done is for many to stand and say stop, the value is life, and thus all life on this planet must be supported as life is the value.

I commit myself to realize that all that can be done is to walk what is necessary to support life, and this means the creations of a system that values life, and thus supports life, equal and one, in plant, animal and human, soil, water and air, and the solution of an equal money system, where the earth has the technology to organize this into and as what is existent here in fact.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the voices in my mind, are the sounds of my separation the impressions accepted and allowed within a system of inequality, as what has been taught to enslave life expression to the worship of a false idol/image/idea as self fears standing up as self as life within common sense, this that we all know, yet unless we walk self forgiveness, to remove the resonant design, embedded within the very waters of our human physical bodies, the voices in our heads, and the obsessions of our desires will become all that we are, and take over the physical and we will, as has been happening, suddenly begin to eat the face of another human, physically manifesting what we have allowed within and as ourselves, to allow the worship of false idols to become demons that possess us, when all that has happened is our lying and deceit is consuming us and taking over, thus will our own accepted and allowed personas of survival, characters of self interest, burn what is left of our human physical bodies.

I commit myself to investigate the desteni I process and an equal money system, to change this world to heaven on earth, where the value is life.

Creation's Journey To Life
Heaven's Journey To Life
Earth's Journey To Life

Intime221L:R#030 (Photo credit: Torn Intime)

English: Intimacy 2.0 fashion by Studio Roosegaarde (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Day 142

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to associate being a woman, with images I encountered as a child, in a big red picture book, of black and white photos of a man and a woman exhibiting sexual positions, where my initial exposure to sex, was that it was something done between a man and a woman being physical together, where this book was more educational than pornographic.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that from this book I developed an idea, from these pictures, that being physical involved a woman and a man.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being naked happened in the presence of a man, and that being self intimate physically involved the union of a man and a woman.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated from myself physically through the idea that physical intimacy involved a man and a woman.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this book, this big red book, was about sex between a man and a woman, and not about being self intimate with one’s physical self.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self intimacy with one’s physical, involves becoming aware of self in totality, becoming intimate with how the mind works, how emotions and feelings and thoughts are self in separation from self as idea, belief and opinion, where images discovered as a child, in a world that did little to develop self awareness as self equal and one to one’s physical body are indirect representations and not self actually, specifically becoming aware of one’s physical body, thus must this be walked and learned, self intimacy with self, equal and one to one’s physical body, as though self as the physical is an instrument of life, and thus needs no images to stimulate self expression as life, enslaved to ideas as a relationship signifying life, such as mind images as a stimulant, where self has not even learned to express as self as life as the physical, thus has self as life never been expressed, where it is like the human has not learned of itself, and only follows superficial, unsatisfactory behavioral indoctrinated images of past generation as memory, so evident as what exists presently on this earth, as porn, child sexual abuse, animal abuse, isolation, impotency, aging, ill health etc. etc. etc.

When and as I find myself wanting to have sex, I realize this is a program, as idea, based on my past, and is not who I am, as I have never become intimate with and as what i am as this human physical body and that this intimacy does not necessitate the addition of a male, where how can one be intimate with another until one is intimate with self?

I commit myself to breathing, remaining here, developing self intimacy in equality and oneness to myself as life in and as this physical body.

I commit myself to breathing, here, and becoming aware of myself , one and equal to my human physical body, realizing that any images and pictures, ideas or beliefs as to what I am, as images from my past based on ideals, taught by a society lacking self intimacy, are a separation from myself becoming aware of myself as life, one and equal to the physical, that which is real.

I commit myself to realizing that becoming intimate with myself as life, must be done, this that was not developed within a system of inequality and thus enslavement of the physical to serve self interest of a few, as an understanding of self as life, one and equal, would realize equality.

I commit myself to breathing, self forgiving all thoughts, emotions and feelings, as these are the ideas, beliefs, and opinions collected from the past, within a society of inequality, that presents secondary heresy imagery and not direct physical awareness development of self as life, respecting the physical as what is real, as an instrument of life with which to express life, as this is the value.

I commit myself to breathing here, to self forgive this secondary information, and to walk as self within what i am as life, this being the primary information as what is real, as what is the value, equal and one to the principle of oneness and equality, to give as one would like to receive, to be able to walk in anyone’s shoes here on this earth, to orchestrate heaven on earth, beginning with self becoming self intimate, the primary source, the gift given, the value, my self as life.

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