Day 601 The Worry for Security

So much of my time during the years with my children was worry about remaining stable and being secure. This was in tandem with watching my children. From the time my second child was seven this was a large part of what I worried about. Even when my children were really small and my husband and I decided that remaining with them during the day was what would be best, I remember having thoughts that it unnerved me not to have job, not to be making sure I was secure, because I equated security with money, and felt that depending on someone else made me vulnerable. I even remember thinking to myself to calm me down, “ it is okay.”

Because of this, I have this chatter in my mind where I am constantly thinking about being secure, that I cannot depend on the system, or my family, or anyone but myself. Not that this desire to be responsible is a bad, but the occupation of the whole desire as thoughts in and as my mind, as wanting to have the means to be stable. Now that I am older and my children are out of the house, I include them.

If I allow this to be so much of what motivates/occupies me, and/or what I find I am creating pictures of in my mind as some event that might come along and disturb this, and/or what I feel would be the scenario where I am in that kind of security, I am not actually here fully. And the past as this fear, remains with me, and I find I move into the imagination as it, missing what people say at times, or putting things off because with all this chatter going on, I have abdicated my own focus here, and stopping this inner drama appears to be too difficult. Walking self forgiveness has helped quiet this storm, investigating our present sold system structures  as our government and our financial system, has helped because knowing the structure of here, and investigating how anything works gives clarity into necessary actions.  Also, in becoming more practically clear, the backchat becomes smaller, yet I notice it still exists, I just pull it back and direct because in the end I can only live here, as this is a physical form of creation, which is simply common sense. That what is real is hidden right in front of us, is in itself a red flag. If we look at so many of our systemic beliefs, the physical is demonized in so may ways. This is us rejecting life. And yet, that which is right in front of us, reveals itself in every way, showing the way forward. Unless we believe that the voices in our minds define us, and/or are real, not stopping to look at what thought is in reality overall. It really is like an echo, a susurrus occupation in the background of fear, of rejection of being here with creation.

So, I forgive the ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind, I write them out, then correct them to focus myself here directly, to become one and equal with and as creation as the physical here. Then can I see here, pass through the eye of the needle and remain stable with physical reality, being directive through moving as what does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to worry.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself as life as my common sense, and to allow the voices in and as my mind to be what I am here, instead of standing here, equal and one with and as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must have a job, where I earn money to feel secure and stable in a physical world where the physical is the life I am as me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to occupy my life with and as back chat of fear in not being stable because I do not have a job and as such will not have the money as the means to remain stable here, not stopping to question why money has come to determine life on earth, when the value is being physical and as such respecting and moving and building a system that respects simple existence as allowing the full potential of life as the physical flourish which means room to change and transform, to expedite and develop creation which would allow all the focus that is the fulfillment of purpose in and as creation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a voice in and as my mind of “ it is okay” to placate the fear that I feel which overall is an act of ignoring the whole, as the part that is me as a human being in creation as what I am here on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand immediately those moments where I separate myself from here, existing as knowledge and information as idea  only without practical application, and as such accepted this format without asking questions,  abdicating myself as life, as my common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as this, I become a physical movement within and as me as energy as thoughts as memories, that separates the focus of me, as my common sense from here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in this separation I allowed this inner back chat to define me, instead of remaining here, equal and one to and with the physical world, creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine security

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine security being taken away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in imagining security or the lack thereof, I am in essence not here, looking here directly with and as that which is the value, which is being here, which is physical.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding the lack of ease as me this separation creates, which is a focus on limitation only and not a community with creation as this physical world as this earth here, as this is where solutions exists because this is myself here, as my own common sense of reality that is me.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding how this separation confines me, binds me, holds me in a very narrow view of that which is the means of me as the physical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how this inversion of and as me, builds a resistance to seeing directly here as what I am as a physical being as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the tension of this stagnates me, not allowing the ease of and as me as my common sense, to accept what is here as the physical, being and expressing with gratitude as the principle of life, which is the principle of equality and oneness, the principle of take that which is good and does no harm, the principle of give as one would receive, the principle of respecting the means and the ways of life being which is the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject what is in front of me, as I have allowed myself to be tied to ideas, beliefs and opinions, instead of remaining here, in practical application of physical reality being creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to build ivory towers as ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind, racing towards this imagination, unequal to here, as my value system as ideas was done in self interest without consideration of life and the racing to and towards these ideas ignored the practice of real living.

When and as I find myself becoming secretive with and as myself I stop and I breath and I slow myself down to see, realize and understand what I am hiding in and as the ideas, beliefs, opinions, fantasies,  imaginations, back chat, desires, wants and needs within and as my mind, 

When and as I find myself no longer hearing what is here in front of me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself here, grounding myself in the physical here.

When and as I find myself moving into worry, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess, investigate, examine, step out of time, evaluate what is before me, taking that which is good and does no harm, to become at ease, with and as breath here.

When and as I find myself  racing as in not hearing what has been said, or losing patience, or judging the appearance of another, even as their words, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I can only hear here, equal and one as the physical, directing in ways that do no harm, taking that which is good, here.

When and as move into am imagination of gloom and doom, I stop and i breath and I slow myself down and I ground myself here, as it is only here that i can step, that i can crawl, that i can change, that i can transform, that I can become equal and one with creation and as such  see to stand equal and one with and as what is me as life information, here.

When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed with here, as the limitations, within and without, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I assess, evaluate, common sense physical, practical reality here, to stand as what is best for all, respecting life as the physical that is me here.

When and as I find myself whirl-reasoning in and as my mind, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, seeing the physical world directly, assessing practical applications that direct in ways that do no harm, and consider all things, to stand equal and one with and life here as this is me accepting the breathe of creation.

Day 459 The projection of the good limitation to hide the consequence of greed as each of us within.

We are divided within what we are accepting as our focus, as a value made big that is not an untruth, in that it is a substantial part of life on earth. Yet, it is a story, without background development of earth. Our childhood stories we teach to children are of the maiden finding the prince. This is, if we look,  a story told out of proportion to what is our constancy as physical reality. And is it not ironic that this romance made huge, that does not include background building of physical reality, is the same behavior , as the pictures ( that of a man with a woman lead into the same behaviors  without responsibility to what creates/allows constancy- as in lack of consideration and awareness of physical flesh and environmental size and substance-)  that are what is presently one of the biggest financial cash venues on the internet, so much so that even our own church/religious establishments invest in this, which is the porn industry.  Now, realize that that fairy tale of the prince and the princess is porn with clothes on.

And, realize how control can be continued through a focus on limited aspects of reality.  A focus of non-direction. In the focus of limitation that builds a story as mind, as consciousness that is in total a separation from self as life on a physical world that is what is real.

 Again, just go and look at a proper perspective  map of Africa, and you will see that Africa is bigger than China and America combined. And we are not taught this: why are we not as aware of this physical reality as Africa and the abundant amount of resource there? Why are we not as children taught this? And why are we learning to make predominant the behaviors of reproduction from the beginning, told again and again out of proportion as reproductive relationships? In this we can see how much we are perceiving reality through a distorted lens built from the absence of detail being given.  Our focus on what would a balanced consistency create is not here. And, even here, if more focus is allowed then it is isolated into bubbles.

This all leads me to ask the question as to why there has been so much military action in Africa? Is Africa more than the romantic safari we are told about in fantasy, is Africa a playing field for military venues? Military venues simply being the use of technological development not only for resource grabbing, but also a way to have the public pay for technological development that is then privatized? By this I mean, are we using war to have the public labor resourced technological development then flipped through words on a page to then be owned by a few? This being, vast tracts of Africa sold off for profit based companies . 

We even have our American resources being “ rented out” as our coal from national park lands, where what is touted is 8 MILLION being the royalty for infrastructure and 7.2 BILLION being the value of sales of this national lands resource. And, understand that the same is happening with our waters. The royalties are minuscule  compared to the sale value. Meanwhile, many children do not have access to foods that are supportive, to an education that is supportive, and end up working in private prisons paid for with tax dollars ( human labor) making parts for appliances that create profits for the appliance companies.  And, with off shoring and transnationals funneling money - not caring where it comes from and not paying taxes on profits - and or hiding profits in supposed charitable acts that are really self supporting happy face sitcoms at face value yet tragedies on the ground, this is benefitting the collective associations of a few who know no allegiance to collective humanity. But we, each human accepts and allows this unless we stand and change the structure of what is here through implementing policies that support this earth, as a secure functioning earth, absolutely, is what ensures a life lived in dignity.

 I mean, look, even this week we had victims of drone strikes come to America to face Congress, and so few of our representatives, showed up. This is criminal; there is no other way to look at this. And this person from this drone abused country spoke of how his grandmother while simply taking care of a field of crops, was killed by a drone that was via the news STORY morphed into a justification as militants being taken out. What happened, was there some justifiable “ step” where the supposed “ data” was divided and relabeled from grandmother to “ militant”?  How can any human allow this? How can we Americans not realize the greed being played out by our supposed representatives that are touting American security? This is not American security, this is abuse of earth and life, and abuse of life and earth is not what secures America. What secures America is taking care of this earth, ensuring that no harm comes to the soils, and the waters, and the plants and the animals, none.

The problem is that we are all doing this same justifying and renaming within ourselves. Which means this is not human nature, this is a structure we have accepted and allowed that is not a structure of common sense. And ironically, we create our own pain in our hiding and indolent behavior, thus we can blame no one but ourselves. We are the source of our own pain. What must be realized within this, is that as children we did realize what was going on, but we were too small to stand up, but as adults we can investigate what is going on and understand it and then stand as a group to change it so that the children of the future do not have to experience the impulsed limitations that frustrate the child’s full potential expression as life, these accepted limited impulses that are the cause of the same ignorance of common sense with each passing generation. What we are coming to at present, is this hierarchy inverting and dividing that which is already divided to uphold the law of profit as the corporation that is in opposition to what supports life, which is that the common good come before profit. That this statement exists within understanding means that we intrinsically understand that a profit based system contradicts life and does not work in accord with it. So, what is here must be used in sustainable ways to support and SECURE life on earth to function with ease.

That grandmother in that field was being in care of earth, working with earth, she was stable there sowing the bounty of what earth is capable of giving to sustain life, and the Americans went in and just shot her down and called her a militant? If we call a cup a cup, this drone shooting down some bent over elderly woman working in a field, probably wearing a long skirt, a militant, than what was really targeted was what created stability, not what attacked America’s supposed interests. This is an impolite act to and towards earth, this which when in stability is the best interest for America. A stable not-at-war  earth, a productive earth, is what is security for America, in all common sense.

Why not tell stories in childhood that build an understanding of earth? Thus, all of this means that what we accept and allow as humans is really a distortion of reality, and because this is a distortion, this can be focused back into perspective, one that has common sense of what is here as this earth. Sharing your life with another is a good, but it is a good of many goods, so why not start bringing this world into perspective, one that realizes that war, perpetual war is not the answer, and must come to an end. We have the technology to support the men and animals and plants that are here, we have the means to organize ourselves so that our population is sustainable, and we have the means to allow all of us to live lives that are dignified and developed and focused here equal to understanding the size and scope of earth and our potential to create a “ heaven” on earth. 

Support a Living Income Guarantee. This is the solution to bring us back into an order that is a life in ease, equal to this physical life giving earth.

Day 143 Security

Demon (Photo credit: Johnny Söderberg)

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want security, not realizing that in wanting this security I am in separation from myself as life, here, as being life is the security, is the value, as what i am, yet within a system that does not value life, and values commodities and the grabbing of freely given resources in self interest, life is ignored and placed within servitude to a false secondary god, blind to this false self glorification, that is itself made of the substance of life, and cannot exist without this as what it is, thus has a false god been worshipped, a totem made in separation from what is the value, the gift given, which is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my anxiety is a desire to be secure, an action of myself believing something can be lost, when what will be lost is what is not real, what has not been valued, which is life, as what I am, as what all that is here is the very substance of, made secondary to ownership of resource, and thus diminished into servitude to the glorification of object as primary, when what is real, what is absolute is the very substance of what is here, that is what all that is here is, which is life, being alive, thus all judgements are limitations and of no direction, supporting and directing that which is the value , which is life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in not allowing what is here to express itself as the form of itself, is to deny life, to fear losing one;s position within a hierarchy that idolizes a false god, as the commodity, the object, the ownership is to continue the denial of life, as this is what is real , as this is the constant, where the object and the resource change form and never remain the same, thus the value is being, is life, thus this is what is primary, as what is the same within all that is here, thus all there is, is to be forgiving of oneself in and as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being life is about being forgiving of oneself in and as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how much idolatry I allow and accept myself to exist as, where I am so busy in worship that I no longer see what is primary, which is life/being and instead I see the heresy and the object, where I have been lead to believe that one object is more than another, when this is myself no longer able to see life, as I no longer am able to see what is the real value, which is life. thus my own judgements are indicative of my separation from life, and my idol worship, and I was warned not to worship a false god, as this would lead to division and war, abuse and neglect of life, which is exactly what is manifest on this earth, where many are staving, many are existing in diminished health, in lack of self development in and as life, where the very state of this earth, as the gift of life, has been misused, and slowly moves towards extinction, as we see with so many of the animals that are here, where we have become so separated from life, that we, the human, will leave a dog in a cage and forget about that dog, allow it to starve and live a horrible existence because we can no longer see what is the value, which is life, thus we are all equally responsible for what exists on this earth, as each of us  fears to stand up as ourselves as life here, not realizing that this must be done and that it is the only way out, each and every one of us must stand and realize the primary value is life, and thus life must be supported as all as one as equal, and what will be given is what is the gift, as life, where earth will become heaven on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is only forgiveness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is no security among idol worshippers.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the worship of an idol, be it an obsession with a desire, or possession, will consume the worshipper , as this is an act of war against life, which s exactly what exists on this earth today, where more money is spent on war than on life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this behavior of pathological destruction  is the outcome of separation from life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that administrators are so caught up in their making of money, and so departmentalized that when they discover a problem they go to another department and hear what they want to hear, and do not actually go and investigate for themselves, because if they were to, they would find the unacceptable and then have to report this, and that would mean the end of their jobs, thus the only solution is to stand and change this world into a system that supports all life, which can be done from a desk, through supporting through democratic means, standing up and voting for  an equal money system, to start organizing this world into a system that supports all life, where life is the value, instead of a false god.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there are penis worshippers, who would rather march to have the foreskin of a penis cut off, and thus within this act be so consumed with a piece of skin on a penis that comes before the consideration of children being forcibly taken and made to work on chocolate plantations in the Ivory Coast, where they receive no education and are left without any means of self development, and this is placed second to a belief that a piece of skin on a penis should  be taken off. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how jerking off to a picture of a naked lady is , be it a memory in the mind, or a picture, is the worship of a false idol, as this is separation from what is here, life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that buying sex from a child, is forcing a life into one’s own idol worship and is not self being and respecting self as life, or life in general, as the respect of that child as life is ignored, with no consideration of the potential of that child as life, thus self as life is non existent, and self as life is responsible for self as life, as this is the only way to become life, to stand as self as life , here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within such an existence there is no security, as the separation from what is the value, from what is real, obviously leads to behaviors that consume as they never lead to the autonomous expression of life, which is the meaning of worshipping a false idol/god as one is not forgiving life, as this is the value.

I commit myself to realizing that to worry about security in a world of false worship is like trying to find a safe haven in a world overrun with zombies, just as we tell ourselves in the movies and shows we create, as we all know what we are doing, yet we want someone else to stand up and take care of this for us.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding the common sense of the need to change the world into and as a system of equality, where life is supported as the value, and thus will life become existence on earth, as what is supported is what is experienced, and right now with the growing number of homeless in America, life is not what is being lived, but fear, and homelessness,, insecurity and the growing profits for the few.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that the growing number of suicides within men in our society, is indicative of hopelessness within a system of economic slavery known as debt, where in order to stop this, all debt must be forgiven and freely given resource must be distributed to support life as there is enough on this earth to support life, all that need be done is for many to stand and say stop, the value is life, and thus all life on this planet must be supported as life is the value.

I commit myself to realize that all that can be done is to walk what is necessary to support life, and this means the creations of a system that  values life, and thus supports life, equal and one, in plant, animal and human, soil, water and air, and the solution of an equal money system, where the earth has the technology to organize this into and as what is existent here in fact.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the voices in my mind, are the sounds of my separation the impressions accepted and allowed within a system of inequality, as what has been taught to enslave life expression to the worship of a false idol/image/idea as self fears standing up as self as life within common sense, this that we all know, yet unless we walk self forgiveness, to remove the resonant design, embedded within the very waters of our human physical bodies, the voices in our heads, and the obsessions of our desires will become all that we are, and take over the physical and we will, as has been happening, suddenly begin to eat the face of another human, physically manifesting what we have allowed within and as ourselves, to allow the worship of false idols to become demons that possess us, when all that has  happened is our lying and deceit is consuming us and taking over, thus will our own accepted and allowed personas of survival, characters of self interest, burn what is left of our human physical bodies.

I commit myself to investigate the desteni I process and an equal money system, to change this world to heaven on earth, where the value is life.

Desteni

EqualMoney System

Desteni I Process

Eqafe

Creation's Journey To Life
Heaven's Journey To Life
Earth's Journey To Life

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