Day 103 The avalanche of characters falling around me as I have decided to move
In deciding to move from where I live, I have had so many thoughts projected towards me as belief, idea and opinion. It is as though moving from my isolated existence on the near end of a peninsula that is about three miles wide means I am going into hell. I am even told that I will be back.
What others experience is not too different than what I experience. I have had all manner of emotional and feeling reactions; fear of change, fear of entering into some barbaric distant land, fear of being alone in some barbaric distant land, fear of loss of friends - being known locally etc.
When I respond to a character as the expression of another with same or similar fears as my own, I sometimes notice I become a similar expression, in and as a personality, as my mother and my sisters, and also a memory from my past - when I was in high school.
It is this stance of “stating my case” as my care actor of belief, opinion and idea, being authoritarian within my statements, where I am the “professional authority” as manner on the subject within which I am speaking. I am being defensive, building my case/fence to protect myself, to project myself, which indicates fear, as in fact I am life here, on a planet that gives freely - that is understood and known how to be used to support what is here- thus this care actor of belief, opinion and idea, can only be the development of an existential expression as fear as characters are like lawyers stating a selection of supposed facts to win a case of one character’s acts of care as being justified. The characters compose, pulling the most heart strings that generate pity and gather the sheeple within their fences, are the ones that win. the sheeple trained to be lead by owned desires of righteous fixations.
Within this all opinions, ideas and beliefs within a state of needing to be used as ammunition are one and the same to any form of war on this earth. The projectile of my character is just as detrimental as the projectile missile as it is in support of my own defenses in fear of survival, my money persona, my care actor of money, my personality projectile in separation from being here , one and equal to this physical world, where I consider this world as me, as this is what supports me here, this that some bank believes it can enslave me to through debt where I am fenced within what is best for the few and not what is best for all as life, here.
So, my “Professor” of my own Lawyer personality/character is my separation, a reflection answering to beliefs, opinions and ideas taught to uphold a soul of money instead of the very substance of what is here as life that is this physical world, which I am one and equal to as I am composed of this, and the soul of money as my character being the separation taught to participate in the game of monopoly known as capitalism/communism.socialism/centralized dictates supporting self interest of a few so busy authoring the aggrandizement of self interest in liu of sharing best practices to the point where best practices are suppressed - as what is best for all allows life, allow self autonomy, where being self responsible and self honest is punished as this is the greatest threat to the status quo of the soul of money reigning on this freely giving earth.
Thus when I accept and allow my self to become a projectile of character, I continue this reign of acid on a freely giving earth, in abdication of self responsibility and self honesty as my self as life in and as the consideration of all that is here as myself, one and equal, as speaking within what is best for all, as moving myself as a living word, myself in union with the sound of a freely giving - forgiving earth- that which is here. In supporting this tapestry of a soul of money that has taught the characters of defense as the persona of missiles I have allowed and accepted, I am in support of a system that does not care for, consider, respect what is actually real, this physical world. As I project in support of this system, I become the missile I project, an outcome of being shattered into a million pieces not only destroying myself but this earth, this heart of life, given unconditionally to allow the expression of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to speak in the manner of a “professional law layer” building a defense for the case of my character, a collection of beliefs and opinions and ideas in support of what will enable myself to survive within the soul of money that is the support and interest of a few in separation from what is a freely giving resource as the gift of expressing life that is earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that allowing myself to express within a manner of authority, where I constrict my human physical body in preparation to shoot words to protect my status within a system of inequality is myself in support of inequality and thus myself in support of my own separation from myself as life, that which is the composition of what allows this earth and myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my perceptions as what I have been taught are to uphold and protect the soul of money as the system that has been accepted and allowed on this earth in separation from respect and care for all that is of this earth as being life one and equal to each and every person/thing/plant/animal that is the composition of what is here as life on this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when the outer world does not reflect my character built to survive within a system of inequality as the soul of money, I am caught up in the game of survival.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I have been programmed to support this soul of money, either through behaviors of protection for what I have, or the behavior of ignoring those that are not cared for, or the behavior of blaming what exists on the behaviors of others lost in survival mode, governing, or passing the money onto the governors as this is how they survive themselves, a perpetual flow of money as what is the blood of support, in separation from what is real, this physical world, that has no stamp of ownership but what we as humans have accepted and allowed, where our accepted and allowed stamp of ownership is not in order as many are starving, many animals are suffering beyond measure, and much of the resources of this earth are being used in such ways as to poison the earth from which they are pulled, all in separation from a respect for life and within this lack of respect, an obvious lack of awareness of what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the loss of myself as the habituated character that allows the reign of a system that supports a heartless soul on money.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize in every moment of breath, that all there is, is oneness and equality to myself as life as the very substance that is of this earth, that which is my mother and my father, a real “god” of support.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the character of a lawyer, mimicking the behaviors as personifications of characters in maintaining the soul of control of life into dominions that support a god of greed and lust, of disregard and abuse, in separation from what is actually physically real here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cling to memories as the false domains I have accepted and allowed to be the expression of myself as life here, where I believe that old age is myself sitting; wallowing in the projections of my past as memories not seeing, realizing and understanding that these are the consumption of myself as life within a false idol, the bread of separation and the existence of myself in support of self interested comfort of no regard for what exists as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from what is actually physically here, developing and moving in and as common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand , when I become the voice of the projector of self defense missiles as characters of knowledge and information that is non inclusive of all life, inconsiderate of earth, and based on conditions in accordance with accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas to a soul of money masking as a god of faith, and an illusion of hope to reach the top of a tower known as Babel.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not breath here, in every moment and to simply say stop, to all thoughts as images, based on past events and the manners of those who came before me, that are the imprints in support of a soul-less imaginary, invisible hand god used to control and allow a few to pull the triggers and levers behind a curtain of media and advertising, education and distribution of freely given resource.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize my breath here, and to breath through each and every image in separation from life as the collection of my past as this as director of myself is my particulars of perception in separation as value judgements in accord with inequality from myself as life here.
I commit myself to breathing.
I commit myself to stopping the characters as the manners as the beliefs, opinions and ideas, as imprinted knowledge and information in separation from what is actually physically here, the projectiles of support for a soul of money that places a belief of an invisible hand of self interest masked as divine interest in separation from what is common sense as what is real as what is physically here giving as one would like to receive, so apparent in that the natural world has never ever ever had any indication of ownership, as it is only the self interested signatures of men, who fear the loss of energetic highs of no substance in separation from self honesty, self responsibility as life, a heaven on earth existence as all as one as equal here.
I commit myself to realizing there is nothing to author, nothing to place a law around as my dominion, as what is here, is life, that which I am one and equal to and as, and thus a need to know the future is myself in separation and fear of self direction with this actual physical world, in common sense.
I commit myself to stopping this character of stamping a moment with self interested acknowledgment as being an indicator that I am real, that I have value, that I am a good person because I am a participant, and within this to stop myself as these separations and bring myself here to what can be the only thing that is in fact real, a common sense of this physical world as what is best for all is best for myself here.
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