Day 329 More on Rejection Character: I am my own rejection

If I accept and allow myself to react to what another does or says, and take this personally I become a rush of a fear of rejection, of loss, but what is it that I am going to lose? Yes, if I were in a situation where I lived in an impoverished area and there was not enough food, all i would be able to think about is getting food, and I would probably not have the education, even, to realize that - should I live in certain areas of the world, areas of abundant resource in contradiction to the support systems available on earth - to see that what was right under my feet had be assigned with a piece of paper ownership to some distant entity hidden within a corporate name laundering the value of the resource under my feet through dirty practices where the labor in extracting that resource was made to pay for all aspects of acquiring that resource, while the value generated from that resource came out clean and beneficial for a few on another continent where there existed no starvation. But, I live where the resource has been laundered, and there is no starvation because of lack of something to put in my stomach, even though what is here that has been laundered in another way, has very little substance of physical support, like I am a bee on a lower level within a hive, and am only allowed what maintains a “lesser” physical state, which can be counteracted where I live, if one takes the time to investigate what is eaten. Even here, the amount of pollution in the world reaches into all of us. So, what we have created, accepted and allowed is here and has come back to us, the consequence of our human actions are here.
So how do I allow myself to be bullied, how do I allow myself to fear the energetic reactions of men, how do I allow this is touch me, because becoming affected by the emotions and thoughts and words that created, allowed this state on earth, actions that disregard practices that are not supportive of earth, how have I allowed them to affect me, where I get caught up in the storm of this disregard, this that does not allow/work with the expression of what is here as the physical, within and as how it functions within the form of itself in common sense, why is what is here ignored and not allowed to be what it is, how it is, why is it not worked with?
How can humans allow a system of usury, when it has been said that this will not work? When it is known that usury leads to enslavement? How is it that we have allowed chemicals to determine our health, to be touted as what heals, when right in front of us, there has not been healing? Why are we accepting what is unacceptable? The excuses have no validity, they are not facing here, an excuse if simply saying, I don’t want to look here. The problem with this is that this means that one is being a “ non-looking” and as such takes everyone else along. it is abusive because it effects everyone here, the plants the animals, the soils, everything.
So, when I become a fear in facing a non-looking state of being, I am in effect allowing myself to be bullied by a “non-looking” and if I accept and allow this, I perpetuate this. Such behaviors cannot be allowed.
I mean how can a president decide to pass practices that are being questioned all over the world with studies that reveal the detriment of such practices: here the rush to pass and allow such practices is a realization that such practices do not work, because the passing into allowance of such practices at a time when there is evidence that such practices are questionable reveals that this is known. It is like, hurry up and pass this or we are going to lose this, and then make a bunch of commercials and articles presenting goodness, hurry up and resonate goodness to block the reality that is gaining ground.
And then this same president takes away support for the elderly at a time when prices are rising. This is an act in direct contradiction to supporting life, and it exists on a world of abundant resource, thus it has no basis in reality. The President of the United States has no awareness of reality, he guides by ideologies, by ideas only. And this was clear with the initial presentation of hope without full disclosure.
I had this experience in my twenties where I saw a floating head in a room, a very angry expression in the face of this head. One of the things that “hit me” in the moment, was an absolute certainty that his “head” could not touch me unless I accepted and allowed this. Thus, I had no fear of this “thing” and looked at it head on - so to speak, even wanting to talk with this, which I did not do, which perhaps I should have done, but should have could have, would have is pointless at this moment, it is in the past. THis morning I thought , how could I have had a sense that this thing could not touch me unless I allowed it, and within this to not be affected with fear in the face of this, and here i am having a problem within someone in a group I am in, becoming all emotional and egotistical, thinking I am being abused - which maybe I am- but reacting to this within protection and defense and wanting to bully, to become angry, is simply more of the same and is not what steadily directs into a solution that resolves the friction and conflict, and the spiteful actions causing discord? I am becoming the same anger, the same frustration.
If I allowed this while I was performing or playing the violin, i would learn this this way, and then I would probably lose it during performance, or as I was playing I would see a subtle thing suddenly that i had not noticed, because i had not been looking while I practiced the piece. At such moments , I become regret because I has missed an opportunity to experience a subtle expression within a piece, and the moment was gone. I have had this happen, and sometimes just let it go, because in suddenly seeing such a thing, it was also a gift, it was to have had the opportunity to have seen it in totality.
This can only really happen with being forgiving of self, to be present here. Steady, constant, directed, accepting and listening to what is here, without hope for gain or fear of loss. Humans cannot be here if there is fear, is there is worry about food, if there is worry about shelter, which is a crime as there is enough. An example of this stares us right in the face, where the countries of incredible natural resource, are somehow the poorest. As I have said in other posts there is enough space on this earth for humans and animals, and we know how to build up soils and build structures that last, and we know what is needed, that the huge mansions with innumerable rooms cannot be lived in by a person, more than likely there are only a few rooms used, the rest is just a show, such space for a few is unnecessary, it is based on an idea that has no basis in physical reality. It is like building a huge instrument that does not fit the scale of the form of men, such things become useless, wasteful and unplayable. Some of the instruments built by men are useful, but many are a waste, and the waste is polluting the expression of life on this earth.
Why are we building things that are based on ideas that are so out of proportion of common sense of this actual physical world?
Why am I allowing myself to be out of proportion of what is physically real here, in and as how here works in common sense? Why am I allowing myself to take something personal, am I allowing myself to fear losing something that is out of proportion within myself as an idea i am holding onto that lacks perspective of how here functions, to the point where I exist within a warped reality? What this means is to walk in common sense of what is a solution, practically, to bring the reward of being able to “play”, having the human scale size instrument to “play” to be and exist as the gift of life.
In the end the person with the huge house and the person with no house have no instrument to play/express themselves as life, the extremes are in lack, one blinded by ideological-lack-of-reality common sense, and one without the sustenance means to use common sense. And those in the middle, we internet users, exist within limited means to the point where we do not really learn to read, we do not really learn to understand mathematically what is going on, we do not learn how to play a musical instrument, we do not learn to be able to direct ourselves within the simplest of tasks such as hammering a nail into a board. The middle is in petrification of being here, of standing up and realizing what is real as this actual physical world and the systemic structures that are not taking care of this earth, that are now directed by representatives that are directed by a monetary profit system that by its very nature is in direct opposition to what is best for all. Usury is a systemic form that is in direct opposition to what is a practice of what is best for all, To have such a form, a systemic action, and then to give others the ability to represent the voice of many will lead to the representatives choosing in their own self interest before what is best for all, what is good will be placed second to their own profit. Thus such a system cannot work, will not work, and must stop.
I have been taught to defend and protect within a bubble, I have not been taught to look to the whole. This I will have to do myself, as naturally, within such a system of profit such would not be in the interests of the law makers and representatives benefitting from this chance to direct within what gives them more, before what is best for all. And the structures they allow are not instruments that support life.
Thus my behaviors, what I allow must be brought back to self, and held steady within absolutely directing within and as what is best for all, as there is no gain until this earth is realized for the form that it is, and this understood and supported, because if we cannot learn to play this earth, then how can we be allowed to be given our own instruments to play? We have not mastered what is given as a gift to understand life here.
My inner ideologies are a warped reality, they are ideas made huge in separation from what is realistic and supportive here, as this gift of life here. They are myself spread out into pieces lacking peace with here. The only thing is to align the very substance of myself within and as what is best for all, to realize that the only thing that can be lost is not accepting the subtlety of what is here in common sense of how here works as what is here, as the physical and what is best for all within this, is what allows oneself to be.

Within this there would would be no need for a separate peace as in a separate heaven, a separate place where peace would be found, as this “state of being” would be here, everywhere, not needing to be there, not needing to be something sought, not needing to exist away from here, not needing to become a idea of something separate, dreamed about- taking attention from here- because here would be heaven on earth, equal and one, and this is what is best for all. In all common sense.
Thus it is to bring myself here, and direct this desire for gain to protect a fear of loss, and to realize that rejections that are reactive and thus not directive within common sense self forgiveness within and as what is best for all are based on a separation from what is real, which is the physical world here this which is self as life, as a forgiving natural expression of self as life, seen at moments within our children, that which we bully into generational cultivated behaviors for survival in a bubble, without consideration of how the present system is one of inequality, unsupportive, habituated, where the only choice is to stop and breath , and slow down and look and realize that the value is life.

Day 328 Rejection Character

Fear Dimension Rejection Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being in common sense with and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow myself down, to breath and to become without desire here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that life is here, that all that I can do within this moment here, is physically apply myself in common sense with here, as I am one person, one body only able to do what I as a human can do physically here, on this physical world, thus, all I can be is the movement of myself here in relation with the life that is here, in common sense, thus looking at what is actually here, and interacting with what is physically here is all that i can be in this moment, thus the focus of myself can only be on what is here, to communicate with what is here as life realizing how here works, where if what is here is taken away from what I am as a human, I have no opportunity to be able to look here, to interact with here which is to say that if what is here is taken how can I become self responsible as life?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry with a system that is a construct of the taking of opportunity from men, through media, through education, by design, as design is understood to be a means and way to organize what is here, and thus the systemic design is a creation with a purpose of serving a few only, the same who design the media, the educational system, the prison system, the economic system, and thus the blame can only be on myself for having accepted and allowed my self responsibility to have been given/abdicated to a representative voice, despite the common sense that it takes many men to fight in a war, that it takes more than one human to grow food, that it takes more than one human to process animals in existent CAFOS, that it takes many men to present what is presented through the media, which is a group of men accepting and allowing disinformation, the dissing of the from of self as life, forgiving of self as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear rejection should I allow myself to become equal and one with common sense, allow myself to be vulnerable as life,speaking up in common sense, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that common sense is not dirty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the limited beliefs, opinions and ideas are impenetrable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that to fear common sense is abuse of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the emotional and physical abuse implied within the word , as the definition, of being vulnerable which means being in common sense of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an idea that being rejected by another means that I am somehow “dirty.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the veil of consciousness is a veil of fear, a veil of separation, into self preservation within a system that acts in self interest without consideration of life as being the value here, a system that is the image and likeness of my own fear of self responsibility, self honesty, self directive principle in and as what is best for all is best for self here, where the common sense of myself is to take what is good, to stand as what is best for all, equal and one.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear pointing out a limited belief, because in so doing I am actually “killing” a limited belief, which will initially create a reaction from the carrier of such a limited belief, where that belief must be brought back to a common sense of this actual physical world, and thus this limited belief can no longer be what defines.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how limited beliefs are the web holding the present system of inequality in place, a system that is abusive and brutal as it acts in the self interest of a few and does not in common sense realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in rejecting common sense I am separating myself form life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject common sense of here into and as accepting limited knowledge and information, into being and becoming taught knowledge and information that has no experience with application with the actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject applying/ walking knowledge and information through common sense of the actual physical world, to fear asking questions that demand answers within and as realizing knowledge and information in relation to common sense of the actual physical world, such questioning often a confrontation for the allowing of oneself to a limited belief bearing no witness to what is systemically existent on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear aligning belief, opinions and ideas to and towards common sense of what is best for all, which means understanding the present system, investigating how the present system functions, a system of self preservation for a few, so engrossed within this system that all common sense of earth has beed veiled and thus within this, it will take many to stand and move through the veil of inequality, of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, to stand in common sense with and as the physical, to create a strong voice of common sense of life, and this voice of common sense to walk the land of earth to realign this earth, in gentle step, one step at a time, to create an earth that is self honest as life, self responsible as life, this that each and every human being longs for, where all that is needed is to accept self as life, to step out of themind/consciousness and to breath, to become equal and one to and as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept a system of one way communication, where as media exists that dictates instead of shares, a system where ourchildren sit and take dictations as how they spend their days as children, a system that does not allow the human child to interact, communicate, become one and equal to and as their physical body in common sense, a system that develops knowledge and information without practical application, thus creating robots that spew the ‘party line” of a centralized system of one way dictation without allowing the ability of humanity to become equal and one in understanding of self as life, as what self is a composition of, and thus able to self realize self as life, in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I talk about children, I want to cry , as I become that child once again, and within this memory I am standing in front of my father believing myself to be dirty, and feeling so frustrated and somehow not having the words to express myself, and at the same time beginning to believe that perhaps I am dirty, that there is something wrong with me, and at the same time becoming so angry, and so self righteous, wanting to lash out towards my father,, with whom I spent may years fighting, to the point where when my mother would leave the house i was told that I was not to talk with my father so that a fight would not manifest, a verbal fight, as it was a verbal fight more than anything.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that somehow I did not want to accept this fact that I was “dirty” as somehow this made no sense, yet I did not know how to explain myself, as what i had been taught, was being taught to be, was a limited construct of knowledge and information and thus lacked the very learning of the movement of myself in common sense of myself as being equal and one to and as the physical, and within this fighting allowed myself to become the burning fires of righteousness, this a separation and blame of life, and thus did I veil myself from myself as life, in common sense of life, and within this, I was always chasing what I perceived to be gentle, as within my righteousness I came to feel that i lacked a gentle nature and thus would move towards men that I felt were gentle, believing this would somehow save me, projecting this onto an object in separation from myself , not seeing realizing and understanding that i am this, that this that is believed to be separate is available right here, as myself as life, that standing and being equal and one in common sense of life, does not need connection as separation into and as energy as mind to self righteous anger and fear, and that within myself my reaction as anger, manifest as fighting as righteousness is myself crying , is the movement of myself from myself, away from myself as the common sense of myself as life, into and as protection and defense in the face of the storm of emotions, feelings and thoughts as the mind of a con-sciousness as what my parents were within a system of inequality, a systemic fear of survival non supportive of life, here, where the only choice is to realize the value is life, and to create a system of equality, using the structures existent to begin to realign ourselves equal and one, through equal money, to finally live and create a heaven on earth.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that fearing rejection, is an illusion, where the fear becomes self, and thus within this looking here is no longer possible, where I must stop and breath, and look at here in detail and bring myself back here, stabilize myself in and as breath, to practically apply how here functions within and as what is best for all is best for self, where I do not allow myself to make an object as a person or idea a limitation, determining what i am here as the expression of myself here, I stand and I look and move and speak in consideration of what is best for all, as this is best for self, I essentially bring myself within my physical body and realize myself here, in common sense of here, where the words of another can be used to direct what is being expressed into and as what would support all life, equal and one, as life being the value here, where any belief, opinion and idea is simply a part/piece needing alignment into and as what is best for all, what would support all life as life being the value here.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that what I face in fear, and/or in frustration are ideas being expressed, often again and again, when another speaks and reacts to what does not agree with limitation, will, just as with myself when learning something new, need repetition, restatement, time to consider, time for rebellion, as a limited idea made huge, in and as energy, does not want to change its view point and thus will react, such reaction will resist alignment within and as what works, within what is best for all, and will also react within not having agreement, as an idea in separation from life as limited insight in separation from equality and oneness to and as life seeks justification and will become reaction if it is not fed, and thus such behavior is simply a storm of separation from life here, not something to fear, simply something to walk into and as life, equal and one in common sense of life here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that fearing the words of another, or fearing loss, as in fearing being rejected is simply myself fearing the loss of myself as an idea, and thus not what is real, as this physical world is what is real, and thus, all desires within and as myself, and without, can be brought back to self, equal and one to and as life here.
I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down, to becoming patient in the storm of energy, as separation from life here, to realize that myself as energy has a quality of “loopyness” that can be read, in and as the emotions, thoughts and feelings in and as my mind, which can then be forgiven back to myself as life here, realigned equal and one in common sense of what is best for all, where it is to recognize any and all blame and spite within and without, to stop and to breath and to not allow this energetic action, as it is an action of discord and ‘hunger” frustration and thus separation from life,, here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to not allow the anxiety within and as myself to become a search for justification in and as a morality of values taught in childhood and by a society if inequality partitioned into divisions of class, race, nationality, gender, age, to see realize and understand that such self definitions are limited as consideration of what i am and can only limit if accepted and allowed such expression, as the value is life, equal and one as what each and every one of us is, here.
I commit myself to slow myself down and breath, each and every time I notice and/or catch myself becoming frustrated and thus fearful of loss and rejection, moving into an energetic reaction of wanting to win, to see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to become a desire to win, I have already rejected life, here, and thus it is for myself to stop and to breath, to slow myself down and look here in common sense to align myself within and as the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for all , to investigate what is here and to take that which is good, and to realize and make it clear that within a profit based system, a system of debt and usury, what has been allowed before life is the benefit of a few.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that in and as what I am as life here, am I able to use common sense through being equal and one to and as the physical to look and see what exists here and what is the course of action within and as what is best for all, through walking through ambiguity as the answer to and towards what is best for all is directly here, as this is the gift of life here.
I commit myself to taking the thought that I lack in gentleness back to myself as life, as this is not something separate from me, whether this self judgement of lack as a belief, is a cultural stance in and as something relegated within gender, or taken as being vulnerable, where within this belief, lies the strength of self as life, as it is the patience of gentleacceptance as a state of non-resistance that accepting and sensing what is here is the way and means of sensing the space here, as what is here is freely given in and as life, an act of gentleness by its very nature, as what life is here, thus has being vulnerable been made a behavior of ignorance and considered a weakness when in fact it is a strength, as the gentle patience of allowing oneself to be open and vulnerable is where self can sense what is here.

Thought Dimension Rejection character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts about another and about myself within and as I face anxiety in fearing rejection where I attempt to find redemption within seeking a point of like mindedness with another , to stop and to realize this is not a solution to oneness and equality here, where the solution is to stand here, stable within breath, to slow myself down and not allow myself to find a counter focus to hide my own fear of rejection towards another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to peruse another person to look at how they dress, their mannerisms, their stance, their accent, their demeanor to gage a response to and towards them that will elicit an agreeable interaction, as this is myself shielding myself from an idea I have accepted and allowed that I will be rejected, where I have already become unstable into and as energy as a fear of loss, to at this moment stop and breath, and not react to any and all behaviors with which I encounter, to here, see, realize and understand that there are no answers within and as the thoughts, as the dialogue of limited values as what i was taught within defining another according to the morality within which I was born on earth, to here stop and to breath, and to simply see what is here as one and equal to and as me, and to direct within brutal self honesty within and as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how myself as mind has no stability, is an act of separation, manifest as emotional and feeling reactions, and thoughts that attempting to talk with another is impossible.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel in the face of another talking that it is impossible to communicate with them in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that another will not be interested in hearing anything but their own self validations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I must hurry, within and as explaining myself when talking with another person.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that actually looking at another person is too much to bear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the thought that actually looking at another person is too much to bear, as what this is is looking at myself, and/or looking at what is consciousness, a mind in separation in and as thoughts, emotions and feelings, consuming what is here in separation from life, where this is simply an energetic storm that within specificity is able to be walked back into equal and one, to and as life , here, through thus stabilizing as breath, slowing down, and utilizing common sense allowing myself to look at the physical world, as this is what is real, right here in front of me, as what is here is life, equal and one, to and as what I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I cannot do this, I cannot stop the mind, of thoughts, and the emotions and feelings in and as myself here, and to forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i cannot change what is here, that I had not found the magic words to change actions that have transpired within and as my life and world, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become impatient with myself within and as learning to see what i have accepted and allowed within and as myself as thought, emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all thoughts are of judgement, seeking a self validation, an escape from facing myself as life, here, to giving up ideas about who i am, and what i am here, to see, realize and understand that in understanding how the mind works, it is to recognize thoughts as a shield from facing self, where there are thoughts as:
idols, of pointing out a positive, to avoid a negative,
a memory “state” as a desire to be within comfort in not wanting to deal with facing here, making decisions within realizing what I fear facing believing myself incapable,
imagining a gloom and doom scenario, believing myself to not have a way forward, which is a belief that a past failure is what I am here, which is an ignorance of realizing how this physical world works, where ideas as labels become what i am, which I accept and allow,
To have thoughts of blame and spite, wanting to run from here, not face here, allowing a self judgement as believing myself to be inferior and thus a hopeless case
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that when and as I catch myself becoming frustrated, angry, self righteous I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I allow myself to become vulnerable within and as facing the storm of emotions, thoughts and feelings in and as energy, to become equal and one to what is here and forgive myself within looking at the energetic reaction , to become one and equal to and as it, gently, breathing, moving this through my chest, within and as compassion, in total forgiveness, without hope of gain or fear of loss, to give direction to and towards this within what is best for all, within what brings the gentle state in and as another accepting and allowing self forgiveness within allowing a vulnerable self to be open to whatever outcome leads to a solution within and as putting an end to the conflict and friction that is consciousness endlessly seeking self justification, to within being forgiving, as self as life, to realize that nothing can be lost but self as life, here, and thus the moment I find myself reacting in and as mind, within and as fear of rejection , I stop and I breath, and I find my own heart/earth and I allow myself to be and become vulnerable to stand as myself as life in self forgiveness to bearth/earth myself here, equal and one and to no longer allow my mind to become spite and blame, anger and fear, even if and when the storm of emotion and feeling and word as thought resists/becomes heated/bullies.
I commit myself to, when and as I sense a desire to become righteous, I stop and I breath, and I do not respond until I have brought myself back into the physical through breath, and slowing myself down, I remain here, stable and steady in and as being forgiving paying attention to what would be best for all, even admitting the need for investigation when necessary not allowing this to become a judgement in and as a weakness which is a belief that I must be perfect, an illusion as there is not perfection unless what is oneself in thought word and deed is what is best for all, in every moment here.
I commit myself to practice walking within and as breath, here, remaining vulnerable as in being open within and as being self forgiving within and as what is best for all here, this being an ability to answer within a state of ease, as the gift of life, is here, and this gift is freely given, here, right in front of us, thus the will of self need only forgive itself as life, to what is freely given here, which is life, given without any manner of condition, and thus the only rejection that exists is myself resisting life, as it is here, gently given, where the shame of myself is to not have seen this, right in front of me, this tool of self forgiveness to a gift given right in front of me, and within this it is for all to realize that somewhere, at some point everyone has been this for a moment, thus we all know this, all it takes is to become this as a constant, here, where this is right in front of us.

                                                       DIP Lite Forgive yourself back to life

Day 300 Thought dimension Disgust character

Interesting that those times when “speaking up” came in with calm, with a voice strong yet steady, no blame, no spite, really expressing understanding with here, these are thetimes, I remember myself being effective in calming my outer world, being listened to. This silences the back.Am I so addicted to reactions and desires that this contrasting calm seems like nothing?
Here comes the shame. A shame for all the times I wanted more, wanted/desired a “more”, and within this simply not being here, going into chaos as division as separation, coming out the other end into self disgust because I was ashamed of myself for wanting some excitement, as in imagining an illusive winning “something” and nothing was won.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire something, to believe that something outside of myself will create me as a “more than” in comparison to others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that there is something outside of myself that will give me more: I am here, as life, which in common sense means simply being here, and yet there are others, who suffer from such actions as those believing this and that somehow makes a “greater than” and so driven to become this, in separation from self as life, that many animals, plants, and people suffer on this planet.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there is no such thing as a “more than” as all I can do, is be with what is here in and as myself here.

Free self discovery course DIP Lite

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breath, to stop the separation into and as belief, opinion and idea of there being a “more than” scenario, as what I am as a human being, is always with what is here, as myself, even if I were on some stage and there are massive amounts of people in the audience, it is still simply myself being here, this idea of something “more” is an illusion.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the rush to be more within and as this world, as the behaviors of the human, is causing massive abuse to life on this earth, and it is all in reckless disregard of life, both within and without.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that all I can ever be is here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my memories of disgust, are myself realizing that I had accepted a belief, as a more than that something outside of myself defined me as more.
I commit myself to stop, to breath with ease, to no longer allow myself to believe that I am less than, to be a judgement of myself as less than in actions as blame and spite, an outward manifestation as a behavior of myself disgust, masking my own shame for believing I can lose myself as life - make myself a more than, not seeing, realizing and understanding that all there is, is to speak in common sense as the substance of life as the fabric of what is here.

Day 75 The checklist of values in and as my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I cannot speak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am unworthy of speaking because I have not convinced others of the reality of this world

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that people would come up to me and tell me how wonderful and talented I was at the violin, and I would say to them, it has nothing to do with talent, anyone could do this, it takes practice and about 10,000 hours of work and even then, which was before desteni, they would look at me and repeat what they had said, thus, this is a clear indication of programming and limited insight, and in reality there is no clearer way to say what I said, so perhaps - though I need to work on what i say- it  is not that I have failed, it is that if one listens to ideas and knowledge and information, as what we are lead to believe, it is difficult to hear anything else.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that just as it took time to program the human to believe it is all about talent and not self direction, it takes time to  change what has been programmed into myself as a human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand , that even today, as I was out on the road , I started to look at homes and go through a check list in my mind, to “check off” what was nice about this home, even down to the way the yard was landscaped, all based on what i have been taught to “look for” and judge as being OK, or plain, or ratty, or messy, or boring etc.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that even if I stop and realize that I am doing this, it is programmed into my flesh and thus, will need self forgiveness to deprogram.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have become a walking checklist, making comparisons incessantly according to the values within my family culture.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my “checklist of criteria” are meant to sustain my cultural value system, where I am so busy doing this, I do not have time to take a good look at what is happening all over this world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I find myself going into make believe stories, where all the criteria of my value “check list’ are placed in this imaginary story.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that  even though I can see that each of us is able to develop ourselves as life, there is still a program where I want to save the world, realizing in common sense that the solution to saving this world is to allow each person to become equal and one as themselves to life, a process each must walk into and as self discovery as life, and that this can be no other way, so that the inequality that exists on this earth never happens again.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to fantasize using the checklist of the values and morality of my family and past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not immediately stop my mind from doing this, where still I find myself already through the introduction to my fantasy before I realize what I am accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reprimand myself with  a curse and a self judgement and instead to simply say stop and focus once again on breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like this process is impossible when I can hear an “undercurrent” of self pity wanting to have a voice within and as my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I compare and check off criteria based on what i have been taught is right and wrong.

I commit myself to focusing on breath and stopping the inner conversations in and as my mind from allowing myself to focus on ideas, beliefs and opinions that adhere to supporting a life in a bubble where all life is not considered.

I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I validate the morality that I have been taught within a system that does not consider the care for all life equally.

I commit myself to breathing, to remaining here in and as breath, and to realize I have no idea who I am, as all I am is a set of values taught within a system that has not considered all life equally.

I commit myself to slowly but surely stopping the mind, and remaining here in and as breath, to birth myself as life into the physical so that life can begin.

I commit myself to no longer reprimanding myself for the voices I catch myself becoming in and as my mind, and to simply say stop and from here to focus on my breath.

I commit myself to breath, to only speak when that part of myself that says stop, has something to say, and not to go into a response based on knowledge and information and to be diligent as myself as adding an emotional value as the words I speak and say.

I commit myself to being diligent within existing as giving emotional values to words as “right and wrong,” want, need and desire.

Self awareness steps for the Elite - This means YOU.

The voices in the head.

Life Review - What If?

Journey to Life Blogs