Day 398 What Just flashed before my eyes?

I had one of those mornings where i woke up and remembered a past event. I had been watching True Blood  a while back, and as I watched the opening credits I noticed some images flash by that i did not remember seeing before. I stopped and thought, “What was that!?” So, I replayed the opening credits and tried to pinpoint the image I had seen, that i had not noticed before. It was a porn picture of two people having intercourse. It was really hard to stop the frame on the image. They flashed by so fast. Why had I not seen this before? Probably, I had just sat and watched the opening credits in a stupor, and for some reason this day I was not in such a stupor.

I realize that these extremely quick images are probably not meant to be seen by the average human in a stupor, just as I had been, but they are meant to excite the subconscious or unconscious mind.  Porn images imbedded in a TV show opening credit. I wonder what else is going on. And I ask myself why this is being used? I had thought that this was illegal. Perhaps, the image is a micro-second longer and thus sits outside of the law, would not surprise me, and who sets the law? If my assumption is right. Since a few own the media, the meanderings of misinformation as the tool of the present monopoly game of inequality, if we watch in ignorance as a tired state of stupor we are prisoners to this order of the day. A hierarchy where money represents sustenance freely given, owned by a few, life becomes a ponzi scheme.  Competition elimination can be done through lack, and disinformation is a form of lack, a form of separation from common sense. It is difficult to see what is being done right in front of us if we allow a stupor to overcome us. Embedding suggestive images in a film is deliberate: it did not just get there by itself.  This is meant to excite into some idea, energetic high, a short lived experience, reckless. It is a picture with music used as a trigger, releasing endorphins and hormones. This is a mechanism of control. This is not self in self responsibility, self direction. Nor is it self being aware, I mean why plant these images into a film with such short time frames?

The porn industry is a multi-million dollar industry and it needs the human to exist in a state of addiction to this to feed the profit from it. So, the human watches a show and images are flashed, with exciting music, and voila, an association is made within a feeling of excitement with an image that is not registered  in the conscious mind, this small part of ourselves we allow to be what we are, This is the level of the stupor we exist as. Perhaps, someone else out there in this internet world has noticed this within the opening credits of True Blood. That this exists means that we humans are programmed and programmable. Like organic robots, like computers. What is it that is allowing this, and why are we not directing ourselves with this that is the substance that takes the picture, allows the picture? Why are we not standing up and becoming directive ourselves? Within this, what is presently happening within this world is the fault of no one but each of us, we acquiesce, and it is time to clean this up. Real intimacy has nothing to do with a quick energetic high. And we have to stop this system of inequality from creating the zombies of stupor that we have all become where we cannot even see what  we are allowing to flash before our eyes.

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Day 229 Redefinition : Apprehension Character

Nails done with posse ppl! (Photo credit: coleypauline)

Redefinition: Apprehension Character
Apprehension is existing within uncertainty, as a “what if” scenario, which is to say that I am believing in a choice. Yet certainty would mean movement within understanding, within common sense of this physical world. If I am taught to move within limited insight, as being fed equations of thought as accepted consequences in separation from what is here, as the physical, than what do i have as understanding with which to move myself here? If I am taught to believe in some “higher power” as my guide, such as an “invisible hand” then I will be taken from what is real, here, and chose within the ambiguity of a supposed “mystery” as the illusion, as the words met as “ we cannot intellectually see the mystery”. Well, yes, as the words suggest, we cannot see the mystery, as this is what is placed on the table, an idea made of illusion. So, my apprehension is within this realm of illusion, entering into illusion, in ignorance of what substantiates me, as what is real, here, the physical. Within the development of illusion, and the division into more than and less than values within this actual physical world, I am lost within the illusion and busy with chasing the selected values, and all the while what is real, here, as the physical remains separate, and yet it is here, and tangible, and, especially with all the technology the human has developed to see the parts of this physical world, able to be seen and understood. And the information is here to allow support of this physical world, yet an invisible hand is blamed for the movement of the products, in inequality, of the hands of men. Does this make sense? No.
An example I have encountered in many articles, for example, is the whole vaccination conflict. The belief is accepted that vaccines prevent illness. Yet, there is evidence that this has no substantiation, that what stopped the spreading of disease was hygiene and proper nutrition and an existence devoid of stress. And the supposed science within this industry validates the need for vaccinations through correlations, of a fabricated collection of values made huge, an equation, a construct, eliminating what does not allow the presentation of a product, made by the hands of men, for profit through creating a limited picture of lack and then a supposed solution.
Yet, when this product suggests correlations within causing problems, such as vaccine deaths and no efficacy within the stopping the disease - even to the point of further promotion of repeated vaccinations - an act within itself that actually says loud and clear that vaccines do not in fact work- the answer given is that correlation does not mean causation. Yet, this is what the science is based on. It is like saying , “ I can measure but you cannot”, and what is it that does the measuring? The hands of men. I do not see any invisible hand in this anywhere, do you?
This is the voice of a forked tongue, and nothing else. and that tongue, has been forked for so long it does not even see itself as forked. So blinded within greed and profit, it conceptually probably actually believes that it can use statements, as correlation suggests causation on the one hand, and argue opposition as correlation does not suggest causation on the other! In all common sense, what is actually going on, physically, is not being looked at. If the words can be moved around within the equation as the words, to support both sides of an argument, then something is not included, and the defense is simply to hide what is ignored. And what is presented is a distraction from what is real, here, the physical. If common sense is not what is developed, and instead values as memories of limited selected values is what is taught, as what is the ideas, beliefs and opinions recited as memory, with an invisible higher power being a guide within this limitation of insight as being in a state of no substantive awareness of what is real, then it is easy to see how the human has become separate from life, and a program of limited connection to what is real and able to be understood, the physical. Thus prevention of abuse, where no arguments of efficacy need exist, is to align ourselves with this physical world, and to develop common sense in relation with this actual tangible physical world as this is the substance of life.
Imagine a paper pusher, being told to use common sense , when all that has been learned is to move words around on pieces of paper? In effect, a paper pusher is a vendor ofmemorized equations as words, rosary in hand, filling in limited templates of xeroxed sheets, having developed a limited vocabulary necessary to fill in the slot. How can such a programmed being have any common sense when this has not been developed? And imagine telling such a program that this is what they are? It is an organic entity, buoyed by faith and hope, believing and moving through knowledge and information only, without any actual physical common sense experience. And this is what is deciding what is for the common good of the people, not to mention the plants and the animals.
Thus, a profit based system, inequality, can never work and must stop. The only solution is to become one and equal to this physical world as what is real, and to value this. To ensure that all have equal support, as life, as being as life is the value. To recognize that common sense development is the only choice, and that this must be allowed and given to all existent on this earth.
So, within myself and my nail biting.
Biting my nails, is in essence, becoming the program of separation, where I move no where, and only spin around within limited values as taught programs, as memorized morals limited by faith in an accepted invisible force when questions are not answered, or answered as “ that is the way it is”, or “ it is a mystery”, or “ it is in the ( invisible) hands of god” as the forked tongue slips in and out, dividing, distracting, separating from the physical as the real movement of life, as the substance of life, as the gift of life, here.

I notice a pattern within myself, as being this apprehension as fear of loss, as uncertainty, and then I look, and attempt to stand, yet the forked tongue speaks and I become irritated, as I have no real development within common sense, and thus know not where to go, as my intellectual framework of memories lack intellisense with the physical as the substance of life. And/or perhaps in moments I do have some common sense, but talking to a programmed accepted human and expecting immediate movement from program to common sense is where I go into irritation, when all the program is experiencing, as reaction, is a lack of computation with the physical. Where the reaction, as irritation within myself is, I cannot compute that you cannot compute. lol

Thus is equal money, to remove all the holding onto programs as separation from common sense, to support ourselves equally as life, to realize ourselves in common sense as the substance of life, as the physical. Perhaps what will be found within this, is that the physical world is a “technology” far greater than anything created by men, where the hands of men, can work in tandem with the physical and realize our ability as life to create what we dream of, a heaven as earth, one and equal.

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Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

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Catastroika - Greek Documentary

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Day 206 More on dissing creation

A tiny person sits in a movie theater inside a human head, watching and hearing everything that is being experienced by the human being. An illustration of the Cartesian theater. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, discretion is my self judging another and projecting a happy face, saying something compassionate about that person, looking to a positive about that person which is still a judgment, my presentation masks the picture in and as my mind I have made of them based on values by degree of where they are within an idea of their development, in terms of cultural sophistication, monetary value, I mean in our culture a person fits into certain categories based on how they furnish their house, what clothes they wear, and what car they drive.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define, using my discretion, where a person within my world is politically based on their dress, their car, and their manner, as one tends to be more open seeming and another more reserved.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my discretion, as my mind, in a belief that this is me, when this is clearly a program of more than and less than, a program of placing a person within a belief system politically, socially, financially, health wise, obsession wise - usually sexually, through their dress code, the car they own, the words they speak, where, when their behavior as the collective of what adorns them, I discretely place then within a certain category, and measure them according to my own discretions, as the values I was taught, and then I adjust myself within the presentation of myself accordingly, never really seeing the life of them and myself as what is here, as I have become a walking program in and as my mind, of more than and less than, as I have created values, accepted and allowed values of what is right/more and wrong/less.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as within, so without, and thus everyone around me is doing the same, as this is how the human moves within this system of dis-cretion, where there is no real self development, as all that exists is the development of discretion instead of support for life, instead of realizing self as a form of life, here on this freely giving planet, where their are trees and animals, soil and wind, where the human has become a walking discretion to the point where the actual physical world is no longer sensed, is not longer “read” is no longer understood, as in communications with, carrying on a dialogue with what is actually really supporting what is here, this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how the being of myself as a program of values of more than and less than is within a bubble of separation from what is actually physically here, and how this separation eliminates understanding of how what is here functions, even within myself as the program of discretion I exist as, as what i am taught by those who were themselves programs of discretion that bore me as I came into this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that these discretions could create humans who have taken the values as how the human should present themselves and become characters of their discretions that were a collection of values so answering to their perceived needs, within a drive for power as a value, monetarily, in terms of seeking attention, that all manner of behaviors would become the expression of their own discretions built within a system that is a program of separation from what is actually physically real, this earth, that is of so much creation this really makes it obvious how ignorant the human is in fact.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how limited my in-dis-cretion is in fact.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is what presently exists on this earth and thus, this is what must be stood up within and as, to realign, re-compose, bring back, piece back together, the human to what is real, this actual physical world, that is actually greater than any technology created by man, which is not to say that some of what man has created is bad, as it can be used to bring man back into becoming one and equal to this physical world, out of making the mind as the machine of discretion, big, as walking value judgements ignorant of this physical world, to facing the limited values as the mind, and diminishing them, silencing them, silencing this program of discretion , and thus becoming one and equal to what is real here as the substance of life, the physical, as this is the value, as this is what is real and of so much, it is the actual real creation that exists.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my characters and personification are an expression of my very limited values, where I allow friction and conflict, which is war, when and as I move myself as mind here, perpetually seeking what complies, what is a matching compilation of my own limited values which in essence are lies, as they are myself as mind ignoring what is real as this physical world, thus do I lie outside of life, when I walk within my own discretions, as in only looking for what matches my values, I reject life, in support and in understanding, and as this only support what supports my own limited value system, there by combating through selection of life ( limited ) values as what i support, this act as my program of values, a limited starting point to generate what support my mind ( in essence) and thereby raping the earth to feed my mind, and ignoring the effects of this, as I am so busy moving within my own discretions.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the emotions and feelings of a human, expressed, are the energetic whines/sirens of values believed to support a mind, the very cries discretions that are what separates and are the very limitations diminishing life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become so angry about this, as the thought that just moved through my mind, which is really my fear of facing this as what i have accepted and allowed, and the sense that there is no place to go, as I have not in fact developed myself as life, one and equal to and as my human physical body, which means I am so used to hanging onto this mind, that stopping it and facing myself here, seems life I enter a void, but within this I forgive this fear of loss, as anger, as righteousness, and I slow down and I breath and I realize in common sense, what is best for all.

Day110 The frightening wall of separation

I remember being in a school and feeling like there was a wall around me as I walked down the hallway. I saw the wall as a distance between myself and the people in the hall way, like I could not reach them and they could not see me. I remember being frightened by this. Frightened… fheightened- freiheightened- heightened frei , was this a moment of having a view of the wall, over the wall, the totality of the wall? My wall?

With my castle/cloak/film/ halo/ broadcast tower/archive/ projection:propulsion  bubble/energetic storm-creating inequality/havoc somehow sensed in this moment?

I was a walking anti-matter, self interested, blind organic robot, looking out/over/through my own picture show of judgment. I am an organic computer programmer so lost within my program I cannot even see what is real.

My halo.

All of us want out of our castles. Yet we do not know the password, the code to get out. There is a solution. It is self forgiveness, writing and corrective application within the principle of what is best for all. The principle of oneness in equality. The message of Jesus, to love your neighbor as yourself, to give as you would like to receive. The code is within each and every one of us, it is life, as even a virus cannot exist without life.

The tools are within us as the physical body, speaking the words of self forgiveness , writing, self corrective application.

It is time to rebuild this earth, to build heaven and earth, equal and one.

Remember yourself as life, instead of spreading yourself, distancing yourself from life onto a cross of judgement, spite, blame creating/allowing, the illusion of time and distance from what is here, from what is life.

The obvious is right here in from of us and the way out is with your self. 

Walk through the parts and see the demise of your own “song and dance” as personal “story,” as projection, as ego, as energy go, as belief, opinion and idea, as want , need and desire.

Come back to earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to distance myself from earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear participating on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept a system of inequality, that disregards life, that divides and conquers the very substances of life, that are given freely, without signature of ownership, these “signs” that conflict with the resources of this earth, that create separation from life one and equal to what earth is, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a belief, an illusion of memory, as collections of pictures, in and as my mind, in and as the very water of my human physical body, to become a halo of what I believe is what I am, as the bubble in which I live and project what it is that I am, this bubble/halo a film of illusion built on fear, demanding love, where this love is a game of memory matching to support this illusive human physical body as resource burning.consuming gird on fire, all in separation of myself as life here, interacting with what is physically here, real here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am distant from what is here, physically here, as people, as animals, as microorganisms.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk as a zombie on this earth, following the words of projected imagery on a tube placed within my living room, bedroom, kitchen, telling me stories all day long, supporting the separation from myself as life, distancing myself as life from what is real, what I can touch, taste, feel with the sensor of the skin on my human physical body, where if I accept and allow this halo, the manifestation of the same constructions of men without as what I have accepted and allowed within, that are the collection of pixels of my own accepted and allowed ideas, belief and opinions, to consume my human physical body, placing a strain on my human physical  body and thus causing disease, where I am turned grey and then white as my halo eats the very flesh of my human physical body, where, just as the television needs resource to burn, so does my halo need resource to perpetuate the imagery in and as my mind, and thus separating me from life as I believe that my memories are the me more in significance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another as more than or less than.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I am one and equal to all that exists, in substance of what is the essence of the composition of myself here, that is life.

Within this I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this substance is obviously able to create, and compose, and yet, I the human, have allowed this gift, as the substance of life, to be composed within a context of inequality, and thus the manifestation of war, instead of what is best for all, where if I want to continue to exist as life, the only choice is to exist as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as every breath, that I am one and equal to all that exists, and thus it is my self responisbility as life to realize my oneness and equality with all that is of this earth and to stand up and compose a system practically within and as this earth that supports all of me, as I am of the same substance and thus one and equal to all that is here, where if one part of me, as all that is here, is in a state of dis ease, then I am not whole, I am not all that I am as life, I am not in fact alive, I am less than what I am as life, as many many parts of me as life on this earth are in a state of dis-ease not having the support necessary to become self perfected beings as life, in and as what i am, what all is, which is the very substance of life, thus until all is supported and recognized as me, as one and equal to me, as the substance of life, life is not being lived.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have no idea what life actually is, as I have only every lived as emotions and feelings and thoughts that generate a halo, a glass screen, my own separation from my own equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am part of an organism as life here, that it is ludicrous that my legs don’t work, or that my eyes cannot see, of that my ears cannot hear, which is the outcome of comparison within and as my self seeming to be more than or less than another, a state of myself within and as an end game of stopping within realizing the consequences of my actions, that manifest in the disease of my human physical body which is the manifestation of stagnation within and as the movement of myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing to fear in facing the consequences of the outcome of the composition of myself within and as judgement, spite and blame, being myself not facing myself here, not realizing myself here, not using the conceptual ability of my gift of common sense of the whole here as life, where the very thing that I fear is the very thing that will allow me to become one and equal with and as life, that which I am, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the substance of myself as life, this substance the very ability of myself to common sense my equality and oneness with and as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the very substance of myself here, is what is able to read, to understand all that is here surrounding me as the very air that I breath,  to walk through the wall of my own conception, within and without, as all is me here, to bring my separations from life back to self and to direct within the principle of oneness in equality here, thus what I fear facing is the very thing that will begin the flow of myself here, in and as ease, in oneness and equality, with life, where as within so without, the practical manifestation of a system that supports all life equally which will take many to deconstruct the walls of a system built by men, able to be deconstructed by men,  that is creating disease on this earth, to compose a system that takes freely given resources and distributes them to support all the organs parts of self as life, so that life can begin, so that heaven becomes one and equal to life here, as this is what we are as life, in separation through the allowance of a wall of judgement, the fire of the grid that is what is transposing life into and as discord with life so evident in the state of this earth within a system of profit/survival for the few and the health of this planet and the animals and people and plants existent within and on it.

I commit myself to standing and supporting a system of equality, an Equal Money System, as is the support of myself here as life.

I commit myself to realizing that I am a walking cyclops in and as an infinite spin of a judge as more than and less than, as perpetually blaming the objects surrounding me within my life, not realizing that this is self label, as self resistance as self as life which I have accepted and allowed in separation from my own oneness and equality as life, here.

I commit myself to deconstructing the halo of belief, opinion and idea, my own self allowed and accepted computer screen in and as my mind, to become one and equal to this self created and allowed composition of sound, as life substance, and to become a composition of myself as life, realizing my own oneness and equality within.

I commit myself to no longer allow any and all spite and blame and judgment to be taken personally as an attack, as this is only an attack on my own accepted and allowed separations, which will persist until I stop the resistance of myself as life.

I commit myself to developing - through the decomposition of my own accepted and allowed separations - equality, with the being of myself with and as the physical and my own accepted and allowed halo of beliefs, opinions , ideas, as thoughts, emotions and feelings, with drives of wants, needs and desires for these very separations that I have allowed myself to exist as mind, to bring myself back to earth, to myself as life, through and as myself manifest as life as the principle of oneness in equality so that life can begin.

I commit myself to heightening myself into and as what is freedom, that is myself in ease as equality with what I am, as what is here , as all that is here is myself, in the realization of myself as life here, to recognize that my own self within a state of fright, is myself resisting the gift of life, that which I am.

I commit myself to realizing my character of fright is my self resisting myself as life, where there is not choice but to apply the principle of oneness and equality and bring myself back into a common sense of seeing that what is here is all of me, one and equal.

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Day 75 The checklist of values in and as my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I cannot speak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am unworthy of speaking because I have not convinced others of the reality of this world

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that people would come up to me and tell me how wonderful and talented I was at the violin, and I would say to them, it has nothing to do with talent, anyone could do this, it takes practice and about 10,000 hours of work and even then, which was before desteni, they would look at me and repeat what they had said, thus, this is a clear indication of programming and limited insight, and in reality there is no clearer way to say what I said, so perhaps - though I need to work on what i say- it  is not that I have failed, it is that if one listens to ideas and knowledge and information, as what we are lead to believe, it is difficult to hear anything else.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that just as it took time to program the human to believe it is all about talent and not self direction, it takes time to  change what has been programmed into myself as a human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand , that even today, as I was out on the road , I started to look at homes and go through a check list in my mind, to “check off” what was nice about this home, even down to the way the yard was landscaped, all based on what i have been taught to “look for” and judge as being OK, or plain, or ratty, or messy, or boring etc.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that even if I stop and realize that I am doing this, it is programmed into my flesh and thus, will need self forgiveness to deprogram.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have become a walking checklist, making comparisons incessantly according to the values within my family culture.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my “checklist of criteria” are meant to sustain my cultural value system, where I am so busy doing this, I do not have time to take a good look at what is happening all over this world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I find myself going into make believe stories, where all the criteria of my value “check list’ are placed in this imaginary story.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that  even though I can see that each of us is able to develop ourselves as life, there is still a program where I want to save the world, realizing in common sense that the solution to saving this world is to allow each person to become equal and one as themselves to life, a process each must walk into and as self discovery as life, and that this can be no other way, so that the inequality that exists on this earth never happens again.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to fantasize using the checklist of the values and morality of my family and past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not immediately stop my mind from doing this, where still I find myself already through the introduction to my fantasy before I realize what I am accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reprimand myself with  a curse and a self judgement and instead to simply say stop and focus once again on breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like this process is impossible when I can hear an “undercurrent” of self pity wanting to have a voice within and as my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I compare and check off criteria based on what i have been taught is right and wrong.

I commit myself to focusing on breath and stopping the inner conversations in and as my mind from allowing myself to focus on ideas, beliefs and opinions that adhere to supporting a life in a bubble where all life is not considered.

I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I validate the morality that I have been taught within a system that does not consider the care for all life equally.

I commit myself to breathing, to remaining here in and as breath, and to realize I have no idea who I am, as all I am is a set of values taught within a system that has not considered all life equally.

I commit myself to slowly but surely stopping the mind, and remaining here in and as breath, to birth myself as life into the physical so that life can begin.

I commit myself to no longer reprimanding myself for the voices I catch myself becoming in and as my mind, and to simply say stop and from here to focus on my breath.

I commit myself to breath, to only speak when that part of myself that says stop, has something to say, and not to go into a response based on knowledge and information and to be diligent as myself as adding an emotional value as the words I speak and say.

I commit myself to being diligent within existing as giving emotional values to words as “right and wrong,” want, need and desire.

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