Day 643 The Word ' Practice" What I am doing when I skim a word!

I was reading this passage, and I noticed that I had skimmed the word ‘ practice.’ I went back and re-read the sentence and it was as though I could see a film over this word, like a glitch because in all reality, in all common sense, that word on that page, is the word ‘practice.’ A word on a page, cannot project some imagery! It had to come from me. I was the source of my ‘ ignoring’ into some fuzzy logic. I was the one who had the capacity to imagine. I was the one with a memory, not that piece of paper, unless there is some great conspiracy behind pieces of paper, and somehow the government has buried some techno-logical device in that piece of paper and it can project some smoky mirror show! Don’t think so, it would cost too much. lol Our taxes would be even higher than they already are! I digress. Excuse me.

Here, I write out what was within and as that ‘ film ‘ of my own acceptance and allowance, as my memory, clouding my perception of a simply measure, as that word ‘ practice.’

I have spent hours practicing an instrument. At times, when forced, this became a tedious thing for me to do. It also had a pressure, because I had to learn this or that within a specific amount of time, and I focused on the amount of time, becoming a definition in those moments of ‘ having a specific amount of time instead of being practical and living here, using the space and the time to simply focus on what i was directly doing in that moment. And, because I am so absorbent and have memory, I become what I allow as the very inner ‘ reaction’/acceptance/state-of-being ‘ in that moment; it stays with me because it is an experience that my sub-conscious re-members as me. Such experiences as judgement, remain with me until I clear them up, correct them until they are clear.

Thus, within practice, as in practicing, I began to realize that if I practiced a certain way, with a value judgement from the day before, that ‘ tenor’ as that quality, as that state of being, remained and was there the next day I practiced. I had to see this, let it go, when I had a performance, for example, and move through this. I even, at times, had to practice something more than it took to learn this in the first place, when I had rushed, or practiced with some kind of attitude, because i had to remove that ‘ attitude’ which was a judgement brought in as a value I imposed on what I was doing, until that ‘ attitude’ was removed. I created more work for myself than was necessary. And, this can happen from many angles about many things. We are all doing this when we have any measure of spite and blame, justification, resistance, to and towards anything that we do in life. Thus, we can see how such can accumulate within us, to the extent that we have children who have such chaotic sub-conscious mind ‘ measure’ that they are having a very very difficult time functioning in our reality, our physical reality. The good news is that this can be cleaned up, resorted, deconstructed and reconstructed. The tools are here, they are self forgiveness, writing it all out, and sell corrective application. This is what I am doing here, within this word practice.

Back to this word ‘practice.’

I notice that when I have to do physical ordinary steps/things/tasks that I become heavy as though these things are tedious, or ‘ too much’ - which is a judgement because a cup is a cup and that cup was made of clay from somewhere in the world, resourced by hands or machines, or a combination of both, placed in/on some transportation vehicle, moved to some processing system, then molded, baked, polished, boxed, transported, sold, taken home, and then used- and so on until it returned back into particles. All of this a practical action where the physical piece was how it was, and that defined it in the moments. Value judgements cannot change this, they are ideas, beliefs, and opinions, that are a meta-physical construction. Value judgements are a mind consciousness construction, they are not real. Yes, one could point out a value about something, this is calling something by its name because men use language to communicate. Other than this, having a memory, that makes one thing more than another is being within a value judgement, when a value is brought forward that has no practical measure.

For instance, if one values a Victorian style cup because one was surrounded by this in one’s youth and found comfort in that style, and/or related that to the moral measure of one’s upbringing, to the point where when one walks into a home of same object value tied to a morality, and then deems that person to have ‘ value’ one is essentially living as a mind consciousness and not in common sense of reality. This state-of-being is an imposed imagery in separation from reality, and it becomes a carrot on a string as one’s value system projecting a lesser directive that is in separation from physical living. It is an ignorance, one that is done in self interest, because this ‘ television’ - which is what it is- is so occupying and happens over time and is supported by immediate family/friends/associates that one, through habit, misses reality, because that inner reality is believed to be real. To live, one must be here, in common sense of what we are, which is physical states-of-being. Simple really. The complication comes from a metaphysical imposition as a mind consciousness on reality.

When I missed the word ‘ practice’ I experienced my own mental construction of values being placed on reality. I created it through accepting and allowing this mental metaphysical moralistic projection, I am a ghost create, and that ghost has no real substance, it is a burden I accept and allow.

Within this word, I notice that I believe that practice is tiresome/burdensome/ tedious, because I am rushing in my mind as an idea. In this I think/emote that practice takes too much time and I have other things to do.  I cause my own demise! I notice that in doing other physical things, that I find them tedious. I look too much towards the end, and do not enjoy and sense the means to the end. I then lose care, and do not give what I do in a moment due diligence. All of these judgements accumulate and become an mind construction within and as me, as my thoughts, and these come to direct me, to stifle my own natural ability as a physical man in a physical world to perform with ease and with efficacy. Ironically, if one takes the time to investigate, our present structural world system is a reflection of what each does within, that has accumulated over time.

I write out self forgiveness to remove my separation from being practical, so that the practice of myself here as a physical being is equal and one to life, this life, a physical life.

I also notice a fear of loss, that if I do not get something done fast enough, as an idea, then  will lose something. The irony here is that when I have practiced in a focused and ‘ at ease’ way, I get what I am doing done much much faster. Thus , the means is always right here in front of me. lol

This understanding makes it very easy forgive others, and to become self directive in a practical application. So, self forgiveness is not difficult when one begins to understand the benefits of being present without judgement, and how creative we each are, and how great our ability to be critical in constructive ways is our real natural state of being. It is to say, there is no ‘ wrong’ there is only directives that self-empower one to be self responsible, leading to self trust, self honesty, and self confidence. The veil is thin, and reality is right here in front of us. And yes, because this has been allowed by each human to exist, it is going to take time to correct. Each must forgive the hue as a mind consciousness and realize that the greatest hue is life, and life is right here in front of us, we need only accept it and allow ourselves to be who we really are; men.

I write self-forgiveness to clean up my acceptances and allowances around the word ‘ practice.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to skim the word ‘ practice.’

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and, within realizing that I have accepted and allowed a morality of limited values ( as not all are ‘ bad’) to separate me from being practical here, within and as reading the word ‘ practice.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect the word ‘ practice’ to tediousness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define the word ‘ practice’ within tediousness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the word ‘ practice’ and from tediousness through defining the word ‘ practice’ within tediousness in separation from myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit my expression as life, my presence, my potential as life, within creating a meta-physical construct of value judgements about walking physical ordinariness as what leads to extra-ordinariness within practicing as walking myself into awareness of what I do in a practical way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a walking memory of value judgement projections.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to separate myself from life, from recognizing physical reality, to in essence bring my heaven down to earth, my memory within to the world around me as the without, to ground myself here, in practical application of my natural ability to focus here, and move in respect of physical reality to live a life in full potential expression, being grateful in practice through the application of respecting all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to impose a meta-physical construction of value onto the action of practicing the means to an end, as in practicing a musical instrument,  slowing myself down, imposing a burden that is of belief, that is an action that separates me, through occupying my focus o value judgements as ideas about something, all of this in separation  from being direct and efficient in what I do and how I live here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how much I project onto things, to the extent I lose my ability, spatially, to be present, manifest as so many little things, little movements that show me the extent of my separation, such as tripping on stairs, dropping a glass, bumping my car onto/into another car as I have no presence here of the space around me as this physical world as my meta-physical construct of and as a morality composed of value judgements has accumulated over time and separated me from being present here, and I make mistakes as a consequence of my own accepted and allowed loss of spatial awareness, which in all common sense should have increased over time, over the life of myself here, as myself as a man being present and respectful and thankful of life, meaning to focus here, equal and one to and as the physical world, as all that exists is life, as the physical is life in expression here.

I forgive myself to not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the weight of my separation as a sense of things being impossible, as things taking too long to accomplish, as things being too tedious to ‘ get done.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that physical living is too tedious.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to ignore that practical, as in walking/interacting with/ paying attention to what is here as how things are done, which is to walk the order of the physical world to reach/accomplish/get done what are actions that reach an end goal in ways that do no harm and respect all things and as such, focus myself here in space, to build awareness of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist life, this physical world around me.

When and as I find myself skimming a word, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I check what I project onto the moment here, and I forgive through transforming what I have accepted and allowed as belief, opinion and idea, based on traditions, culture, my own past, as value judgments that have not considered all things, until I am stable here, focused, to become the practice of being focused on the order of life, as the physical world, here.

When and as I find myself in separation as what a reaction is and of, as in this instance within the word ‘ practice’ being a memory as my past as having the quality of being tedious, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself, to focus here, equal and one with and as the physical world, to become awareness of life, as life is physical, meaning manifested in form and function, of many cells working together to express and create, a perfect machine, the same as me, a physical manifestation of and as life in expression, and as this, I become an awareness of and as life, here.

When and as I find myself projecting a value, or becoming occupied as mind consciousness only, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, as this meta-physical construct is heavy, like I carry a televised imagery of morality composed of spite and blame, within and as me, that is the source, a self created, through acceptance and allowance, entity that takes away an awareness of physical space, where I lose what I ostensibly seek, which is life.

When and as I find myself believing that something is impossible, I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I see, realize and understand the burden of my belief/judgement that is my own created separation from common sense of physical reality, and I forgive what covers my gift as life, as my common sense, to ground myself back into reality to be able to move in space as this physical world with ease, building awareness of life, this being the practice of living.

When and as I find myself believing something is tedious, be it that something appears to be too hard, be it that I have a thought as an idea that, for example , ‘ something takes too long,’ or be it that ‘ there would be too much resistance’ or ‘ that I might lose a relationship’ I stop and I breath and I slow way down, and I repeat this until I am stable, here grounded, and I assess, I investigate until I can direct in ways that can withstand the test of time, meaning ways that allow a common sense application composed of many joyous steps that build awareness in their application, that often is simple and giving as I would receive, meaning allowing the world around me to self-discover a practical step by step application that walks the ordinary into the desired goal as the extraordinary, here.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, as what skimming words is and as, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, as I choose life, here, and I walk into awareness of the physical space here, to become equal and one to and as life, to become present here, to accept this present of life, as what and who I am, to practice living, to become the practice of life, equal and one, using the physical world as in, respecting the physical world which is the practice of taking that which is good, meaning to do no harm, and transforming the focus of myself to be present here.

When and as I find myself within and as a sense of unbalance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself through focusing here, to sense the space here, until I am stable, and I do so with every breath, in every moment, walking myself step by step into the practice of life, here.

When and as I find myself uncertain, as in skimming, as in procrastinating, as in what separates myself from being present here, as in aware of space here, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I become in parity within this course of life, here. : )

The Latin word practizare is an alteration of practicare which means to ' perform, carry out. ' 

Thank You for Reading!

Day 559 Reacting to the statement " too much reality." Self forgiveness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to another when they react to too much reality, and as such move into  limited value instead of seeing the conflicting beliefs that are often different sides of the same coin, in a world where such exists as the expression of men at present, each not seeing realizing and understanding how the separation as the conflicts, are simply based on beliefs that one aspect of reality is more than another having made the mind as belief, larger than the life, as the physical on which it depends.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that responding to emotions and feelings  within and as giving direction again and again is all that there is, which is to speak about how the physical world works, the accepted forms of the present system of hierarchy held in place through judgement within polarities of good and bad, right and wrong,  where the “ right” is often a justification for a judgement of a “ wrong,” that are of division into a slow measure where the divisions are connected through endless associations of mixed dimensions, a busy work that build constructs that are believed to give meaning, and are really an abdication of practical common sense, where the gift of life, as the nature of life, is to use common sense to be here, to work with and be equal to, the physical as this is the way and the means, the very expression of and as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to to ask the question as to why a heaven existence would be separate from this physical existence, in and as not realizing that a physical existence of suffering, cannot be life, as one cannot be life when one is suffering because when one is lying in a bed dying, one is lying in a bed dying, which is not one in action developing potential, seeing directly what is here, as one is too busy suffering, thus of course, earth is a containment, where those who did not stand equal and one to and as themselves as life, are collected, to live the consequence of their separation from and as what they are composed of and as, which is life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up in common sense, where I have used simple words, and used them again, and not taking the time to see, realize and understand that they must be said again and again and again, probably as many times as our present advertising world has touted misinformation until it was believed to be what is real, when it is not.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that having to listen to the rant of the mind, which is a self in separation from practical reality, is tedious.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take it personally when a simple directive is repeated and yet unheard, as the mind will, like an addiction to alcohol, seek that which validates it and as such will feel as though it is not getting its fix, and as such will react, thus, when and as I find myself wondering how long I am supposed to take the storm of separation in and as the mind, I stop and I breath, as this is becoming a want, in and as wanting something to end, where I stop listening and become that which I resist, and to see, realize and understand that there is a point where one walks away, as the rant of the mind, is unacceptable, thus it is to, once again, use common sense and realize when and as I go into hoping for a change.

When and as I find myself becoming frustrated I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself beginning to search for another way of saying something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, then I remember myself to and as the principle of what is best for all, to see, realize and understand the best possible outcome and take that which is good, and does no harm, and stand as what can withstand the test of time, as what can remain the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow.

When and as I find myself searching for words, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I look at how I am accepting and allowing myself to become confused, as in searching for words, for example, that I believe within a morality are polite, are socially acceptable, and I see realize and understand that I am looking for a measure that will appear to be non-confrontational, and realize that this in itself is a separation into an idea, thus I stop, and I stand within how human beings have abdicated their own common sense of practical reality, that which is the way and the means of life, which can be investigated by each and every human, where one must, eventually make a decision within common sense of practical physical reality, to birth self into and as life, as this is the only choice, one that no one can make for another, and no amount of research done by another can answer this being of self in common sense here, as self must take this upon self to become equal and one to and as life here, and since there is so much disinformation and misinformation that has been accepted and allowed, there is no one to do this for any one of us, as each must stop, and do this as this is the only way to life, here, and yet, the practical reality, as the gift of life, is right here in front of us, showing the way and the means to life.

Day 482 Realizing the mind as associating within limited values. LIFE NOT.

I had an image pop up that my mind wanted to follow, a circular house with two walls, like a corridor between the inner rooms and the outer wall, the windows above bringing in light, somehow in the small detail in the back of my mind was the sense that this building hid the outer world yet, used the light. And there was a window, long, rectangular, reaching out to the exterior from each inner room.

I have been obsessed with looking at small houses, and I have noticed that desire to have a perfect house, imagining what I might want.

This window that was the same or similar design as what M. did in the P. house.

All of this is a transfer of the male story onto a house, which is accepting being my own caretaker, and then moving this into the house, of care, so to speak. Still this is a shield from the outer world, a protection and defense, myself the many characters as the women in the house sleeping as the rooms were sleeping rooms, myself not wanting to face the emotional values in the words of others, the threat of not adhering to these words with inference d values.

I find myself looking back over my day and how i have interacted with another, the sound of their voice. And I notice I want to move to that voice and match it, as in serve the emotional/feeling values laced within their words, also looking at the words in between sets of associations, because the mind screams its limitations. I notice a resistance to NOT follow.

I have to breath, to let this fear of NO SERVICE to the underpinning match game as habit, as fearing the other to not “ like” me and as protection and defense of facing myself here. I have to look out, so to speak, and not react when the words of another “ hit me” in what is a discordant manner, which is myself in a state of  not letting myself  go as belief, as idea, and stop and breath, and realize that I as life as sound, can metamorphose as mind with a common sense of the environment around me, meaning not remain in the infinite self interest, inform as how I have learned, accepted and allowed, myself to build a character and personification of my social cultural/national heritage that was in total that of a bordered existence as what humans have created on earth.  And that the contrast of listening to another need not be a burden to carry as a pain, where I believe as a woman that this is my responsibility. I won’t lose any definition, as letting go of my own limited self defining values, as I realize at moments within interacting with others, how limited I have been within my awareness  and / or  this same happening in another where a tendency would be to go into superiority that then overwhelms me to the point where the negative to this self aggrandizement leads to  a fear of carrying responsibility as in turning this into a burden. Within all of this I create my own pain.  And meanwhile, all around me is an earth that is round, forgiving as the resources have no one’s name on them and as such belong to all, as the resources are life. In the end, what is best for all life, is what is best for myself. I can let go the shame, the burden, the pain, as myself trying to answer to all factions, when all that I need is the principle of what is best for all, here. It is to just stop, and use my own common sense.

I was listening to an interview of someone riding first class on an American train. Normally, they rode “ commuter class” ( the names are always changing - wonder why/). To them there was little difference, and the accouterments were based on values from another era, like a black maid, a white table cloth, etc. all little things that are associated with a “ more than” classier environment. Meanwhile, it was a train, moving from one point to another. All the same, except for small changes. But a human will make this huge, or devalue it, to justify a relationship within as a self definition, and become so occupied with this that what is real is not really looked at.

As a society, each of us has accumulated so much of such values, that we no longer look beyond this and because of such accepted and allowed limited common sense of the whole, we have become ignorant of our world and the movements and forms we have allowed : for example how money moves and a multitude of  values as justifications we have given money, like we use money to keep our limited values in place so we do not lose them all the while missing the real value and one that can be lived with ease as we no longer need to chase a metaphysical carrot as idea. Overall,  this separation that is self created and of no real understanding of reality, of which we are more than able to do. Ironically, that which we seek in collecting the self defining values is right here as the solution of equality. This to value life, all life, as life is the value, and thus to accept and respect all life. To give all men the means to become their full potential, to give as we would like to receive to get ourselves out of our separation from life.

In all, our elite are this. They are us in another life. And they are so caught in this that they really believe that they are somehow superior. And it is only a belief in the head, a projection that is an association of values that are used to define a self, that then becomes a personification of this self, in manner, in dress, leading to a deed to support this and the thoughts as the measure of this taught building a concrete mind/ a mind map, a mental imagery of data that serves ideals that direct instead of common sense. And the irony, is that moving as common sense would mean giving all of this up, and as this becoming so much more than that limited personification. It would be to give up everything - so to speak - to become an EVERYTHING that is an equality to life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something of myself as how I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself will be lost unless I protect and defend that value as an idea.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that ideas define me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have accumulated ideas to define me, instead of using my own common sense and equalizing myself to physical reality here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to protect and defend ideas, beliefs and opinions as taking one small value based on a idea from my past and from a cultural past and using this as the measure of myself, and as such ignoring the real value as the physical as the life around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the value system of another, and within this to fear being bullied verbally and /or physically should I not match the limited values systems of self definition as the society created by men on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that listening to another’s self validation as life story as touting limited values is a burden, where I believe that out of some belief in respect, as a social norm it is my responsibility to listen and empathize, and for this I forgive myself as the only choice is to do what is best for all here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide within myself, my own limited values and silently compare within and as myself to protect and defend my own value system because in effect I fear a “ value war” and/or realizing that my values are an ignorant acceptance that will be revealed for what they are, a limited value system that has inhibited my life, and as such I become embarrassed and fear my lack of awareness being exposed, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my values being questioned.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to enjoy life and move within looking at my limited value system and letting it go, as in transforming myself  within learning about others, and as such expanding my awareness, which is in essence to enjoy life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will be hurt and that this will be painful if and as someone questions my value system or in sharing their value system I become responsible for not having clarified the limitations as in questioning their values as is the responsibility of myself as life, and because of this what I fear is that in questioning the values of another, I will be met with bullying and deemed difficult, both scenarios simply mean, an accepted mean as reaction in self defense,  looking at what has been accepted and allowed as idea, and aligning within and as what is best for all, what does no harm , what brings stability and ease of being, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being wrong

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being bullied

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I am a right as in only being this, and as this fearing the responsibility of this, when such can be clarified through taking the time to investigate to realize what is best practice as what does no harm, and as this that rushing, and hurrying in haste is not worth the risk as the consequences of non-investigation end up causing one to retrace their steps.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to touted “ value drives” as personification  just as I might react to a sale that suggests value drives, where I allow myself to believe that I am inferior unless I take on that opportunity as a value interaction through worship of value as personification in another or as purchasing a trinket to place in my environment to ostensibly give myself more value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that listening and being socially polite as the norm is a burden

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that idea only is superior or inferior to me as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something will be lost if I give up ideas I have accepted and allowed about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I will have no definition should I give up values as ideas, as pushing away what I define as being less than, and bringing forward as what I define as being a more than, not seeing realizing and understanding that as such I am within my mind on a polarity roller coaster of right and wrong instead of being here equal and one, in common sense of physical existence which is practical.

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When and as I find myself constricting within and as me, as my human physical body, i stop and I breath and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself comparing my self to others, i stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I bring myself back here one and equal to breath, I touch something within my physical environment and take the time to stabilize myself.

When and as I find myself beginning to brew a storm in a teacup, so to speak, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down as I see realize and understand as my body constricts within this that i am reacting as a value judgement.

When and as I find myself reacting to the thought, word or deed of another, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down to stabilize myself here, before I speak, or do not speak.

When and as I find myself  beginning to breath in shortened breaths, I stop and I slow myself down, I stabilize my breath as this is a smoke and mirrors show as anxiety in fear of loss, or control of myself as being confrontational as reaction, and within this I move as the principle of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself encountering the words of another I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand that the words of another do not define me, here.

When and as I find myself tensing within and as my human physical body, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am here, and can stabilize as breath, and within this that all the associations being presented are parts of a whole even as judgements of good and bad, and as such  can be brought back to the whole within the principle of what is best for all here, where the only choice is what does not harm, what gives as one would like to receive, as there is no real life until the parts are in full potential, as each human, each plant, each animal, each water molecule, as the parts are only substantiated into the extraordinary when all working as individual yet equal, a state that cannot exist as long a hierarchy is the accepted and allowed form as men on earth because this is a value system of more than and less than by its very design and therefor must come to an end if life is to begin. 

When and as I find myself reacting to the exterior system that is a consequence of what humans have accepted and allowed that has accumulated into the present system that abuses as profit is the law before life, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I realize that this began within and as me, and as such, the only choice is to do what is best for all here.

In all, our elite are this. And they are so caught in this that they really believe that they are somehow superior. And it is only a belief in the head, a projection that is an association of values that are used to define a self, that then becomes a personification of this self, in manner, in dress, leading to a deed to support this and the thoughts as the measure of this taught building a concrete mind/ a mind map, a mental imagery of data that serves ideals that direct instead of common sense. And the irony, is that moving as common sense would mean giving all of this up, and as this becoming so much more than that limited personification. It would be to give up everything - so to speak - to become an EVERYTHING that is an equality to life.

Day 428 Self forgiveness on the changing forms of colony: settlement, form, cultivation

I have been reading Nicholas Shaxson's Treasure Island, so I wanted to walk some self forgiveness within the context of this book.  The system is a manifestation of what each of us has accepted and allowed. So, each of us has a responsibility to understand how we are divided through belief within and how our system is designed without, to begin to correct our separation from a common sense that is innate within us to put and end to destructive practices on earth so that life on earth can begin, There is really not other choice.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I get angry it is because I have an expectation, wanting agreement within an agenda of wanting to win, without walking the necessary steps towards understanding, these steps simply in looking here, with what moves in practical measurable ways, that are what supports all life as what is best for all, an outcome that gives what is here as the form of what is here a visible measurable equality within to the without as the physical, within equal standing, this a confidence that is a state of ease, here, where behaviors of lack are the separation, as only parts have been impulsed to serve a lesser god of greed where a few believe themselves to be an elusive “ more worthy” than another, knowing full well that this is illusion, one that must use the resources of earth to voice its separation, where this separation does as it is, destroys the nature of life to impose what can only be idea as one thing being more than another on the face of creation as earth, where only that which creates, which is that which supports absolutely can exist, all other actions of disregard and thus of destruction, thus, a system of inequality, where lack is actively imposed on men, cannot and will not work as creation, which is what is happening on earth, thus the only solution is to do no harm, to take that which is good, and support life absolutely, to support creation, to become equal within to the without as the physical as this is creation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to  see realize and understand that offshoring is a crime against life as it becomes an isolated entity, hiding from any and all nations, through dividing administrative parts of a whole functioning group, lends money from one section to another, to perpetually ensure that the principle remains within the corps, slowly, drip by drop, taking all principle  of value created from freely given resources and the labor of men, and giving itself ownership thereby eliminating any and all competition, as those on the top are the same as us, lost in fear, inferior to life, existing within bubbles not looking , seeing, understanding the interconnectedness of all life, thus the corp. of commodity creation, a form of dis-creation, discretion the means of hiding the abuse - the movements of greed behind happy face ambiguous, disingenuous through abstract platitudes of no real revelation, disclosure that generate happy feelings the affixation of man in a chemically controlled stew of “ happiness” where each does not have to face the abuse within that each has accepted and allowed that is the source of the separation from life that exists on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become disgusted, and/or angry/ and or righteous about this, as this is an act of blame and spite, instead of follow through into solution, within the realization that the physical world is the gift of life, the signature of creation this that is what is best for all, this that allows the expression of life, this that would manifest as movement in ease, here,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the very way and means that money has been allowed to flow as our present system is a crime against life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am in separation of life in and as the ideas that i have allowed to become how I define myself, this being a construct of isolation from actual physical reality, and thus from creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the ridiculous nature as the idea of a heaven, as creation would have all dimension seeable, and would not divide life, as it takes all life moving as one to see, realize and understand that it is the balance of all life, all expression that enables realization as what is best for all, as what is best for all would be creation, it is that simple, thus the order on earth is one of creating disorder of creation to serve an idea that one thing is more than another, which in the end is destruction, as the bible reveals, that division into more than and less than leads to annihilation,  thus the bible is a confusion of order and dis-order as religion is the commodification of, the code of hierarchy and division, from what is real, the starting point of this separation told in the beginning, as the code of separation was the belief in the choice of a good and a bad, where this offer used the apple of the tree of life, thus this choice was not the choice, as the only choice was that which supported the tree of life, and that choice is what is best for all, where the patience of impulse, is the offering of an illusionary “ sweetness” of good when this idea of good is creating an idea of a bad, and thus the need to push away the bad, creating a game of polarity, that exists as it can only exist, within knowledge and information that is not only limited but also separate from practical application, but oh so caught up in the conflict of the good vs. the bad that nothing else can be seen, that tree, right there that is the real creation, that is that which produces the fruit of life, that which reproduces life, that which is composed of the substance of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that memory  created in a system of separation from life, from creation as what destruction is, creates a membrane of pictures in the measure of separation from life into limited ideas, and the membrane becomes the dictate of the human, a membrane fed with limited knowledge and information without, or with limited opportunity as both collection of knowledge and information and with limited opportunity for practical application, maintaining a grid of separation as the parts that are in separation compose the image and likeness of separation into what is now the present system of abuse and separation from practice that supports all life, as life being the value is second to the profit of destruction and separation from life, as what this present system is and does.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the irony of statistics, where statistics collects anecdotal evidence, actions and movements of men on the ground and creates a mean that does not tell of the extremes, and touts this as a truth, and meanwhile when a practice is wanted to be passed what is used to validate such practice is a study done in isolation of the common ground, and this is considered the “ truth” a contradiction that is a lie, because where this is one justification used on one scenario and not in another, this allows division and conflict as it creates a disorder, as it is distorting reality in self interest instead of looking at what really exists as the physical world, creation, the gift of life, that is so obviously being abused and destroyed thus the NSA uses statistics based from the common ground of anecdote to justify political action and the corporations use a controlled environment to justify through manipulation of time and space, a crime against life using manipulated perspective in self interest, this so clearly showing that that which is real, as the physical, is presented in parts to feed the disease of greed that is ideas made bigger than reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the double standard being accepted by the act of complacency in men, where corporations give one another loans to hold onto principle, and meanwhile the masses are  given interest loans that cannot possibly be repaid, and thus the debt falls on the people, and as well within the pharmaceutical industry and the processed food industry, the principle gathered by a few, buys the policy makers, who protect the principle as money in self interest before doing what is best for all life, which means the whole political system of protecting the principle as the real values, allowed to be assigned to money, which each one as a part of the masses is tied to because money determines life, and this we are caught in protecting the principle as being a piece of paper, which must be realized must change to where money is given to all men, as we have allowed this to hold the value of life, the value created from resources and labor, the masses must stand and change the way this values flows, as it is not money, it is how this money moves that must change, thus a system that allows the life blood of support from earth, as money, to move in a design that gives a living income guarantee to all on earth, as this would be the common sense of men, standing and being that which is life, that which is the support of the right to life, because in essence what each of us is allowing is that which does not support life, which must end if we as men want to equalize ourselves to life, to no longer be lost in a belief that there is a choice of good and bad, but that the choice is life, to support the physical world as being the creation of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the drama of decolonization was what was presented, all the while economic structures were set up in the form of offshoreing that enslaved economically all men, which must come to an end if life on earth is to continue, this  means that we as humans stand up and accept creation as the physical being life and do only that which causes no harm, an absolute, or life on earth will no longer exist.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the mind as consciousness if  the very form as the membrane ( memory brain)of fairy tale values as stories told in childhood that did not reveal the TOTAL story of how the physical world functions in fact,   of ourselves in a bubble of isolation from the physical within of memory as limited values then made more than the outside, as the physical,  the separation on earth that has manifested systemically in image and likeness of what each has accepted and allowed within, a separation from the value being life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that that which upsets the membrane of men, as projected characters and personifications visible as class, nationality, gender, race, are all a limited insight into what is beneath, that each of us are men, all the same, and as a collective men are the caretakers of earth, each and every one, which can only be done on the ground where each of us stand and thus, to limit the awareness of men through partial story, the ability of each to understand what is right here as the physical is removed, and thus the principle of the physical can be taken and divided in the illusion of idea as the membrane of limited values played out as characters dressed in pinstripe that are the same as us, warp the substance of life into limited values based on ideas of a more than, that has become boys playing with destructive toys which is not life, where the skill in building the toys is applied to destruction instead of creation, this an acknowledgement of the capability of men directed towards destruction instead of creation, abusing that which allowed this expression of destruction to even exist, thus it is time for a systemic change into what supports all life to allow the value being life to become what is expressed on earth which means becoming equal and one to and as the value being life, working with physical reality in practical application as that which is good and does no harm.

I commit myself to becoming equal and one in consideration of physical reality.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that that which I fear, as in standing outside the present system, where that system is not rejected, but that which is good used, and within this I stand and support a structure that can be stepped into that supports all life.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that grass root voices are where the voice of life exists, as the voice of the system is limited, and protective of the principle of creation being placed onto a piece of paper determining how life should be, when this choice is not a choice as we need only open a newspaper and read the news and we realize that what is the present system is not in fact taking care of this earth.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that corporate ideologies are limited and propose limitation and thus are a false god representing the separation from life, thus a system change must be built and walked into, beginning with moving money flow to reach all humans, to receive a living income wage because what we all want is food on the table, time to enjoy our families with ease, and opportunity for self development, which is self expression as life.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that Syria, for example, at one time produced its own food, which begs the question as to why this became a disorder that presently exists, where factions of men that are from offshore, as offborder are running around in Syria in the first place, and why do they have guns that could only have been built by those colonizers of warped economic gain that now hide in offshore entities of anonymous, ambiguous entities of no one name, a slippery slope of deception and abuse to life, a crime we all accept and allow unless we stand and as a group change into what is best for all, which means realizing what we have become as consciousness.

I commit myself to  seeing realizing and understanding that reaction as emotion and feelings are based on cumulative thoughts of partial story impulsed by the allowed voice that holds the accumulation of principle as money, thus what has been impulsed cannot be considered what is real only, which means realizing that our thoughts are not each of us in alignment with common sense as life, here, and our emotions and feelings are the program of service to limited ideas of good and bad, instead of equality and oneness with practical physical creation of life manifest.

I commit myself to realizing the mind as limited stories is the superstition and that the physical world, as what works that does not harm, is the reality, and thus I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down, to self forgiveness and corrective application as that which is best for all through investigating the design of the present system of division and conquest, as parts of a story, as a lack in equality with physical reality, where common sense is always right here in front of us. as this is the substance of life made manifest, thus abuse to this in any way, is a crime against life.

I  commit myself to facing the membrane of separation, a veil of isolation,  composed of limited values, as the fairy tales of childhood that disney has rigged with subliminal images of distorting physical intimacy away from the joy of simply being a physical being enjoying physical touch and expression with all the physical world, in every moment as all moments are the value being intimate with life, earth,  to with every breath, face this storm of separation, that is energy that has a high/intense point and then fades as this cannot be sustained, and to stand in the face of this, and bring this back into common sense as that which is best for all, as that what we each seek, ourselves as life here.

Day 316 What are memories? What is consciousness? A bubble of separation?

When I react to what is said about another within and as being a judgement, as in not looking at the details of what is here becoming equal and one to them, without making any assumptions or value judgement, looking at the values for what they are and the forms of what is here, how disconnected humans are from what is happening to life on this planet, life that is the same in all of us here, all being everything, it is easier to see how reaction is a blind spot, where all one exists as is separation from actual physical reality.
All justifications are in fact self interest in not wanting to look, in not wanting to see, in not picking self up and becoming life of absolute compassion, looking at as manyconsequences as one is able to grasp, through investigation. This done within asking questions, until a point is reached where a realization exists that any suffering is self in a state of disease, as self as life cannot be here as life, until all life is here, as life, meaning self directive. Self directive means no judgement, no sense of one thing as being more than another, and is anything realizing that an emotional reaction is a disconnect from self direction, which is a disconnect from life here.
I looked at someone today and said to them, “You are a resonant being” and they laughed. Then i asked them if they had any memories, and what memories were, how were they held onto, what would this quality be. So, the fact that we have memories means we are able to resonate with imagery, and imagery can have values attached to it. Ever heard of the word “ nostalgia”? And would the emotions and feelings attached to memories not be considered “good or bad”? And would not soldiers suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome be the effects of horrific experiences/memories caused by war? This is to say a memory is a resonance within us. And depending on the memory, there is a value of good energy or bad energy, thus the memory can have a value as positive or negative.
Then, to take this even further, why would a memory be needed that triggers either a good nostalgic feeling or a bad traumatic feeling? And why have such an occupation as self as life here on earth? Is this necessary and does this allow one to actually be here, I mean why wallow in a “good” memory when one could be here actually being such an experience as what one lives in every moment, meaning directing oneself here on earth without the need for a postcard as a resonance from the past? And why would a trauma exist with energetic emotions of fear and terror? What would create such a thing, especially knowing that memory exists! And if that memory is one that is unbearable, why has it not been seen in common sense that the action that created the memory is an unbearable state of being, and therefor unacceptable, why program such? And if such programming exists, what would happen if the absence of traumatic program were the presence of all of us?
Are our memories showing us where we have run to values, and as such removed ourselves from here, as what exists on earth is an actual removal from looking at here, because for each of us, we would not want the atrocities that exist to happen to us; can’t imagine any of us wanting a child born with horrible deformities such as the ones caused by depleted uranium used in the Irag war. Not one of us able to read this blog would want this, so how and why do we allow this to exist? And would not images of such haunt us? And would this not then be a memory, a resonance as a picture made of wavelengths and vibes and pixels embedded within our flesh, and if this is what happens to the human, then would it not be for the human to ensure that such does not exist on earth, so that what is here is cared for and “clean” of any potential resonance that causes trauma and/or a reaction of disgust/shame/horror/pain/disbelief, and many more?
Even if we wanted to hide from this, and believe that such should not be posted on FB, then can this be a solution? I mean, such abuse exists and it is not going to go away.What if it is like the debt that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, that is the outcome of usury, that which we were warned against and Jesus was “shut up” for exposing - and others as well?
If the human body is seen as a machine, one that holds resonances, and is given the gift of life but abuses this, all consequence of accepted and allowed actions that are not supportive of life - something that can in no way go unnoticed because it is not in ACCORD with life, , because the separation from what supports all life remains resonant within because it was an action that had not considered all life, then what would remain that shows the separation? Would it be memories that are values of supposed “good” and what then would happen as well, as this is how the machine works, memories of “bad” events are also embedded, as this was the actions allowed on earth, and as the actions this is what is mirrored within? So, what we are, is what we become within, what we allow on earth is what we become within. What we create as the voice on earth, as the actions we allow, is what we become, what we mirror within.

We can run and hide from this, we can run and hide in the good memories, but eventually there is no escape, because meanwhile, the physical world has not reached an expression where what becomes resonant within as the human has no polarity of a good or a bad, and there would be no need to have a memory to be something pulled up to entertain oneself, because here, as the physical world would be absolutely fulfilling in and as existing one and equal to and as life. There would not even be the need for a separate “heaven”, or an alternate reality, because here, would be the sounding of life, absolutely, no need for a re-sound, or even if there were such a thing, it would be as what memory is, a map of what is here, to then be used to perhaps help learn to be here, equal and one to and as the physical, all life equal here, within and without, above and below.
The can be no escape from this. If we take the time to look at this, it makes so much sense, it can be no other way.
Thus, the present system without, is a reflection of the system we have allowed within. it is a system of abdication., it is a system where we believe that a value makes us, defines us, but this cannot be, because this is just a state of being, it is not being the action of being, accepting self as experiencing life, so because we feared losing one “state” we held onto this, and within this became an action of self interest in relation to a value, thus dividing life into fixed states, so to speak, and no longer moving as life.
This is judgement, believing one thing to be more than another. A me-more eeeeeee ride. The starting point of fear of loss, as a negative, moving into a justification to create a happiness, and thus a positive “idea” around the me-more eeeeeeee joy ride, in separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.
So, the hierarchy on earth is a reflection of this separation, and we are all grabbing resources to allow a few to have more, and others to have nothing, and in our fear of loss we are destroying this earth, as we grab resource in self interest, so we can pass our limited values down generation after generation, as we have come to believe that these limited values define us, and that these values have some kind of meaning, and that all our knowledge and information is taken in in separation from life, because it is used in justifying the more than, the state of ourselves holding a value instead of life being the value, where the expressions of life and all the relationships of expression, the ways of expression as the forms of expression, as what is here on earth, being the experience of being as the value and learning to realize this totally as self, to move as this, to be one with this, thus there would be no death. There would be transformation, expansion in awareness.

This makes so much sense with what has been said to us, as the words of Christ, which were so impressive they could not be denied, a religion was built around them. And then this religion, built by men in separation from life, was used to limit and control, so that some hierarchy could exist dimensionally, this unseen by the eyes of men. A whole existence in separation from life. A system we have all accepted and allowed in abdication of life. Our memories showing us how we are not equal to life. Our memories our idol worship, as consciousness, as mind, as image made huge, a resonance into and as energy, as the division of values made more than and less than, stagnant, unmoving, and thus destructive and devolving instead of living. Earth is showing us our separation and thus abuse we allow on earth, the consequence of our accepted and allowed separation. Memories as collections of thoughts singularly lived again and again compound into emotions and feelings, the consequence of perpetual separation from life, from the giving of ourselves as life equal and one within and as what is best for all as the actual physical world.
Thus the systemic inequality, as profit, this belief system placed next to the principle of the understanding and need to do what is best for all, is the limiting “spoke in the wheel that is life,” remove this, and give as one would like to receive, and life can begin, and the resonance of what we are, will equalize itself to and as life, being here, as it is only here that we can actually be, no need to move and wallow in memory, because here, will be life, and the word will become the living word.
A system of profit, of division into more than and less than, a starting point of a fear of loss, because of a separation from life, cannot work and this, evident with what exists on earth, which, in America, is hidden from view, because if Americans would take the time to look, instead of so much denial - which is really just fear of loss - what would be lost would be realized for the limitation that it is - would mean the end of the very need to deny. Life, real living would have no need to deny, would not have the need to tout transparency as a presentation, the presentation of which admits the existence of non-transparency.
A lie has no other option but to scream its existence, to place what hides around it . So, there is no way out. Humpty Dumpty fell and shattered because he built a wall from which to fall, thus Humpty Dumpty created his own skyfall. lol
Individually we are in pieces and collectively we are in pieces. These pieces must come together within and without. This is done alone and all-one together within respecting life, here, so that life can begin.

DIP Lite

Day 236 Imagination Dimension/ Victim Character

Imagination Dimension / Victim Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a scenario play out in my mind, as a memory, based on a past event to determine what i am here, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am allowing this past memory as judgement to define myself personally as the personification of being a victim as what I am here, instead of stopping , breathing, and realizing how I was seeing myself as less than and reacting within anger towards another, in self interested protection and defense in fear of loss of status and friendship, as I went into a sequence of behaviors as energy blaming and spiting another, creating friction and conflict for myself and the other, in not seeing how I existed as mind scanning my environment in terms of survival and gain.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe at the time, within one specific memory play out, that I was not allowed access to a group, believing myself to be less than based on face values of physical maturity and monetary display, taking it personally while the friendship supposedly lost was simply my friend maturing physically faster than myself and seeking like developing girls to face a change taking place, where I judged myself as less than within this and thus turning myself into a victim.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created all these thoughts around this as judgement, manipulating myself from a negative less than reaction into apositive more than belief, utilizing the morality of social class that I had been taught within my family, culture, society, instead of looking at what physical changes were taking place.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that were I in my friends shoes , I probably - wether right or wrong- have done the same thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that all judgement as a thought is myself showing myself where I have separated from actually looking at this physical world and understanding how the physical world functions, and within this separating myself into some fuzzy logic as belief, opinion and idea, following cultural and class ideologies or non substantiating and directing movement as what is best for all, equalizing life as being the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anger, as reaction, within protecting myself, in fear of having loss some status, when nothing had been lost in reality, as I continued to exist and found other activities and interactions with others, this being myself here, interacting as life, here, so the idea of loss was indeed an illusion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this past event to play out in my mind, and create a behavior where I scan my environment in anticipation of being measured as less than as I place some values above others and fear being measured as less than, which is, as I have seen, an ignorance of the reactions of others, themselves trying to understand this physical world and simply following limited values that are what is taught as a means of survival within a mind consciousness system of separation into and as energy as values of more than and less than, creating inequality within being one and equal to what is physically real, here.

I commit myself to, when and as I become the same behaviors coming up within and as myself, as being less than and then placating myself through making judgements that lead to myself as a “more than” to stop and to breath and to bring myself back into and as the physical, to understand what is here as the physical, and direct in common sense as to what is best for all, to be responsible for the behaviors within and without that are in separation from equality and oneness with and as life, here.

I commit myself to , when and as I find myself, having a memory flash by, in and as my mind, to stop and to breath, and to ground myself here, in and as breath, and to self forgive, through writing, any and all energetic movement within and as myself, realizing that such movement is a separation into a more than and less than mind consciousness belief, opinion and idea, in fear of survival, as my self existing in separation from what is directive and supportive of life in the realization that all life is equal.

I commit myself to when and as I also relive as this memory, a feeling of quilt that I am allowing myself to judge myself as less than based on my own demise, which in and of itself is not a solution but simply another end game of emotion I accept and allow unless I stop, and breath and realize such behavior is not within the principle of what is best for all, as the value being life.

I commit myself to realizing that each and every time I judge another, based on a morality sustaining survival, I am in separation from common sense of what is best for all, disrespecting myself as life, equal and one with what is here, so I stop and I breath and I direct within equalizing an understanding within communication to and towards what is best for all

Desteni

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