Day 398 What Just flashed before my eyes?

I had one of those mornings where i woke up and remembered a past event. I had been watching True Blood  a while back, and as I watched the opening credits I noticed some images flash by that i did not remember seeing before. I stopped and thought, “What was that!?” So, I replayed the opening credits and tried to pinpoint the image I had seen, that i had not noticed before. It was a porn picture of two people having intercourse. It was really hard to stop the frame on the image. They flashed by so fast. Why had I not seen this before? Probably, I had just sat and watched the opening credits in a stupor, and for some reason this day I was not in such a stupor.

I realize that these extremely quick images are probably not meant to be seen by the average human in a stupor, just as I had been, but they are meant to excite the subconscious or unconscious mind.  Porn images imbedded in a TV show opening credit. I wonder what else is going on. And I ask myself why this is being used? I had thought that this was illegal. Perhaps, the image is a micro-second longer and thus sits outside of the law, would not surprise me, and who sets the law? If my assumption is right. Since a few own the media, the meanderings of misinformation as the tool of the present monopoly game of inequality, if we watch in ignorance as a tired state of stupor we are prisoners to this order of the day. A hierarchy where money represents sustenance freely given, owned by a few, life becomes a ponzi scheme.  Competition elimination can be done through lack, and disinformation is a form of lack, a form of separation from common sense. It is difficult to see what is being done right in front of us if we allow a stupor to overcome us. Embedding suggestive images in a film is deliberate: it did not just get there by itself.  This is meant to excite into some idea, energetic high, a short lived experience, reckless. It is a picture with music used as a trigger, releasing endorphins and hormones. This is a mechanism of control. This is not self in self responsibility, self direction. Nor is it self being aware, I mean why plant these images into a film with such short time frames?

The porn industry is a multi-million dollar industry and it needs the human to exist in a state of addiction to this to feed the profit from it. So, the human watches a show and images are flashed, with exciting music, and voila, an association is made within a feeling of excitement with an image that is not registered  in the conscious mind, this small part of ourselves we allow to be what we are, This is the level of the stupor we exist as. Perhaps, someone else out there in this internet world has noticed this within the opening credits of True Blood. That this exists means that we humans are programmed and programmable. Like organic robots, like computers. What is it that is allowing this, and why are we not directing ourselves with this that is the substance that takes the picture, allows the picture? Why are we not standing up and becoming directive ourselves? Within this, what is presently happening within this world is the fault of no one but each of us, we acquiesce, and it is time to clean this up. Real intimacy has nothing to do with a quick energetic high. And we have to stop this system of inequality from creating the zombies of stupor that we have all become where we cannot even see what  we are allowing to flash before our eyes.

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And deconstruct the emotional/feeling thoughts you exist as to understand what and who you are so that this world can begin to clean up what is allowed on earth that is unacceptable. Desteni I Process Lite. So much is given for free here, to allow you to begin to understand yourself as the very substance of what you are as life. It is time for the dis-eased stupor as the human of life on earth to stop. It is unacceptable.

Day 235 Thought Dimension / Victim Character

Victim Character
Thought dimension

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image in and as my mind of myself standing and looking at an group, as my best friend sitting with another group of girls.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a past memory as a thought as myself standing at a distance from a group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image, as a judgement as a thought, of myself being separate from a group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as less because a friend had decided to enter into another group, taking this as a rejection and believing myself to have been unjustly cast aside and made a victim of competitive social norms I believed I lacked.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted to hide how I felt, by competing with my abandoned friend to prove myself more than, not stopping and equalizing myself to the situation and what was happening within the physical world within a system of competitive survival and physical growth changes among peers..

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become more selective in my friendships, having judged the group my friend was drawn to as less than myself, to then make myself seem more than through assigning limited class and cultural values to the situation to hide the initial negative judgement in fear of loss.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this, I began to scan groups of people, looking for those groups and individuals that appeared to compliment myself, not seeing realizing and understanding that within this, I began to align myself within moral judgements of right and wrong, more and less, thereby creating borders and separations between that which was same within human beings, that we are all as one as equal as life, where life is the value.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within my own childhood, the behaviors of my parents were in fear of loss, and the promotion of competitive values determined within the generative past and culture as to what would be of value within being a part of a group that had control and power and thus an ability to remain secure within a system of inequality, where money - as the outward manifestation of more than and less than- determines what values create a “more than” scenario, all of which is a mind consciousness system, as measure only, lacking perception of the value - as what is same- being life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared facing the frustrated behaviors of parents obsessed within their own survival, not seeing realizing and understanding how such behaviors existed as only fearing loss as my parents faced the same fears, and within this, I reacted to their fears with a sense that I lacked worth, which was myself existing in self judgement within ignorance of awareness of how my mind, as thoughts, emotions and feelings functioned as polarities of myself in separation from oneness in equality as life into judgement of more than and less than.

And thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that by the time I got to middle school, I had already developed a resonance of fear, accepted a resonance of fear of loss, as this was what I had accepted and allowed as a child facing the culture of separation from life, at home, into and as mind, as energy, as consciousness, having not understood the worry about money and position of my parents, and taking their behaviors personally as myself having caused problems or lackingsolutions, where I then became the same and passed this onto my children, instead of realizing the value being life, and directing self within what is best for all, while realizing the present system is an outward manifestation of what the human, as consciousness, has imposed on freely giving life as earth, and thus, even within self honesty as life, this present system must be stood up within, just as self must stand up and face accepted and allowed separations of more than and less than, to change self to move as a starting point of self realization as life, as this is the value, here.

Within all this, I see, realize and understand that a group is needed to change what exists as a system of inequality and disregard of life, as the mind as consciousness, not hereing a common sense of life as the common denominator of all existent on earth, to no longer allow myself to exist as a fear of loss, to see through all the storms as separations as what consciousness is into more than and less than value judgements, where such separations are the loss of self as life, and to become steadfast within myself in alignment of myself as life, and then to stand with a group to create a change to a system of equality, a system that realizes the value is life, and thus what must be changed is to align money to be what supports life in equality, as the value is life.

I commit myself to, when and as an image comes up, as a thought, as a judgement, to stop and to breath, and to write out the image/thought dimension, to then walk through the practical steps of facing accepted and allowed separations into more than and less than to being myself back to myself as life, equal and one as the physical.

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Day 201 A horror movie in my mind

Rabid Jackal (Photo credit: Artbandito)

I noticed the other day when I walked to my car in the dark that I became nervous in fear of a dog suddenly appearing and attacking me. So I will forgive myself for this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a dog attacking me at night.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting images in and as my mind to create fear within myself, images that are from a movie, where a person is attacked by something as they walk out at night to their car.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attach fear to having to walk out alone to my car in the dark of night.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to being attacked by a dog at might while I am alone outside and getting into my car.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a dog, to exist as an idea as fear of a dog attacking me at night while getting into my car, when I am alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have memory of two car accidents where another car crossed out of the oncoming lane and ran right into me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to associate fear with being around my car.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the dark outside of the house, which is ridiculous because I have walked around at night through woods and subways and cities and towns and not worried about this, and even when there was a situation I dealt with it which is all one can do, and this is not to say I can walk anywhere in this world of survival, as the present system, it means that common sense must be used, that i can walk in the dark alone yet it is not to deliberately place myself in a situation where the possibility of aggression is probable, for example, where there are people who are struggling or have excessive drug habits.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a rabid dog showing up next to me, while I am at my car, in the dark/night as one day a rabid raccoon showed up in the yard and started walking up to me, which is really not something a raccoon usually does, in fact they tend to hide during the day, but on this day the raccoon walked into the yard, salivating and turning in circles, obviously lacking strength as it was walking very slowly, so my children and I went inside and were actually very calm about this, thus in reality facing an animal with rabies was not something to fear, as the animal was very weak.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being bitten by a rabid dog.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear a wild animal suddenly showing up out of the dark night while I am entering or leaving my car.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my only encounter with the idea of a dog attacking a human while they were out alone at night was in the movies, thus in reality this has never happened to me or anyone that I know.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this image as idea as fear of a dog attacking me at night while I go to my car is not based on any experience I have ever had, thus it must be an image from a movie in my past.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that even if this were to happen, all i can do is deal with this in the moment, where an image as an idea is not real, and has no real value, as it is just an illusion in and as my mind.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how what is here is me, is one and equal to and as me, as what is here is life, and thus any sadness within and as me, is myself as the cause of this, as I am not one and equal to what is here, believing that this world is hostile and separate from me, yet this world is me, it is myself that has separated myself from here, which is what the human exits as, and thus is what is reflected as what this world allows to exist, which is an economy based on war to generate profit, because this is the profit the human lives as in separation from life, the profit of conflict and friction in fearing what is here, in not realizing with every breath, that this physical world and ourselves as the human are one and the same, as it is only an idea as the mind made huge and not understood, that signifies our believed separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what i in fact long for, as longing means a separation, is to realize myself as life here, one and equal to what is here, to communicate my oneness in equality as what I am with what is here that is equal in and as the substance of life, which would mean there is no heaven, as this must be here, because a supposed distant “heaven” would a separation, and this would not be life giving absolutely.

Is as much of my mind moving as a "fantastic WAR"  fear scenario as what is without as the budget of the government?
Is what is "as my mind" one and the same as the systems of this world?
As within, so without
As above, so below
?

I commit myself to breathing and becoming absolutely self directive in common sense of what is physically here, thus an image of a dog attacking me is just this, an image.
I commit myself to breath when and as i am walking to my car alone at night in the dark, seeing realizing and understanding that fearing a dog attacking me is not a solution, even if a dog should attack, as all there is to do is stop and breath and assess the situation by looking at what is actually here and making a decision within the principle of what is best for all, as fearing a dog for being a dog only, is not looking at the dog and seeing what state the dog is in, or how the dog is walking and behaving, to not judge the dog without even stoping and actually looking at the dog should a dog show up suddenly.

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Day 24- De-press-I-on, Forgiving the Past.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to exist as a memory of my past, of what I believe I have lost, when I am here as life as this is the value which cannot be lost.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to hold onto the feelings and emotions and thoughts of the past where I long for the past when this is existing as the past and not being present here, which is my self not valuing life here, where if I am in my mind as the past I cannot be here equal and one with this physical “here” world and thus I cannot realize this physical world because I am in my mind in the past.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear change because I fear losing my past.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the past is real.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to, in existing in my past, in holding onto my past - be it family history, familiar “territory,” perceived social economic situation,  event memories- I make the memory of the past a collection of more than less than values and become this instead of being here with this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in existing as my mind as more than and less than values I have in fact never really been here, were I actually here, then there would be no past as all life is here and memory and believed loss are assembled parts of life collected into a photo album in and as my mind and existing as this is not being here one and equal to life, as the need to hold onto the past creates a fear of loss and a situation of death, as the past as mind as memory will have to stop in oder for self to be here one and equal to life, where the value of life as understanding life, this physical world, becoming one and equal to this physical world is being here, where nothing can be lost as one is one and equal to the substance of life as life and this is the value, where nothing can be lost.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become so myopic in using the past to believe and sustain an image of what I am that I devalue other aspects of life as I compare them to a past and thus limit my self of discovery and within this, understanding of this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I have changed environment many times and each time I have discovered something new, thus remaining here, as presence here,  is allowing my self to discover new insights into this physical world and my self as what I am able to be and exist as here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that it is sad to lose the past, when it is actually depressing onto the ability of my self to be here in existing as my past and that this very “depressing” onto me as carrying my past becomes a burden that stops the being of my self here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to entertain my self with memories of my past as I believe these memories are what i am, when what I am is my self here as life and thus who I am is what I am as self here, present and here equal and one here, with and as the substance of my self as life, that which cannot be lost unless I perpetually exist as my past.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to occupy my self with a tiny piece of my self as my past when 99% of life is here, as being present here, equal and one with this physical world here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that just as my accepted and allowed memories depress me from being here as I have made them seem real and bigger than life, so too are there many “de-pressing “ actions within and as this world, where the ability to realize this physical world and to become one and equal to this physical world, as being here, the human physical body is not cared for - given what it needs to sustain itself in a state of health, where our education system actually develops memory “de-press-i-ons to limit the capacity of a human to exist here equal and one with this physical world where the self, equal and one to a physical body can become one and equal to this physical world and thus have an understanding of this physical world and how this physical world function, where should this exist there wold be no more inequality with some having more than others as it would be realized that the value is self as life, one and equal.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that here it is easy to go into blame and anger which is another trick of the mind to cause a storm of energy that is not my self here directing my self here one and equal to this physical world and understanding what has been accepted and allowed as a system of “de=press-i-on” of beliefs, opinions and ideas that give more and less value to what is here as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in existing as pictures of my past, in and as my mind, I become accustomed ( s custom ) to this and thus try and create pictures of my future, ignoring what is physically actually here and not realizing that ability of my self as man to transform this physical earth into a situation that is best for all, that what I see before me as this physical world presently is not what this physical world can be and that what this physical world is presently can be changed to become an expression of life in its full capacity as the means to grow enough life sustaining food is known, as the means to generate energy without completely destroying what is here - as working in tandem with how this physical world works and understanding how the human in a physical body can be developed and perfected to be self directed are all here, yet I believe as has been taught to me that  there is only one way and that is how this system presently exists, a system of debt and rape of the earth to ensure that only a few continue to have hold onto what is gained through consuming this earth in inconsiderate ways, as these ways are held onto because considering how this physical world works in life sustaining ways brings in no controls for the/a few, and the seeming advantages for the few are held up onto a billboard and lighted up with light beams where this is all that is seen and thus as self in abdication of self direction, as this is not what is taught, becomes a follower of limited ideas of the image and likeness of life, limited in insight of this physical world and the being of self in expression.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that what my world exists as presently is/are limited self development and as this is all that I know to be what I am any threat that I believe will take this away and change this I defend my self against not realizing that my perception is limited as it is of limited insight and not the directing of my self here one and equal to this physical world of which I have little connection as my connection is with my mind as memory and not what is real here as this physical world.

I commit my self to not allowing and accepting my self to feel depressed in and as an idea of losing my past, where forgiving this past and changing my self to being here actually causes me to want to go to sleep and feel as though I and tired when this tiredness is simply my self deconstructing my mind and becoming one and equal to this physical world.

I commit my self to realizing that leaving my mind of memory will create a feeling of falling asleep within and as my self as I turn and face what I have accepted and allowed as the being of my self as mind as forgiving my self as mind is the death of the mind, the taking away of the billboard I have accepted and allowed as what I am, where I must turn and become who I am as life and become the directive principle that is life the principle of oneness in equality as what is best for all is best for self.

I commit my self to no longer existing as a de-press-I-on of loss of past, of loss of status, of loss of glamor, as loss of youth as what this system flashes in shining lights and instead become through writing, self forgiveness and corrective application a “writing/riding “light” “ as the principle of oneness in equality as the directing of my self as life as the principle of what is best for all is best for self where this world is as the very substance of life able to transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly an indication here right in front as my self is the capacity of the substance of this physical world to change the very formation of itself from a creature crawling on this earth to a winged body where this allows this creature to experience the soil and the air, the dirt and the sky all that is what is here as this physical world.

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