Segmented practices that show us who we are. Day 769

Why do I fear LOOKING?

In performing, I have practiced being focused on myself, the movement of music around me, as parts and the overall whole. This is what looking is, and when accepting of what is, one sees the greater structure, and can retain more presence , even within mix-ups manifest as quicker re-call, of momentary absence of presence, or within facing a new form; sudden and moving into clarity as one both ‘ sight -reads’ the form as the notes ahead of time, and places it in the context of the form, as the notes being generated. 

In relation to the destini I Process, I have been practicing looking at my own layered emotional ‘ firewall’ that I have allowed to define me, and which has slowed down the processing speed of reality as myself here. Meaning being effective here, problem solving as a movement of self correction to and towards this living reality, and not ONLY as the bubble of layered emotional stories within and as me. This onion of emotional values accumulated over time, slowing down a natural ability to process information , this living reality information, where real skill lends real practical movement, and develops real focus, to the extent one preforms in real time, in this space, here. 

Just as I have practiced a focus in reality, as the music generated in a group and by myself, i can do the same here, as this living reality. When what I am doing is not effective,  resistances happen, of which I must practice what I am LOOKING at, that is causing me to not READ, or process my state of being, the state of being of those around me that are the same as this, and the practical living reality, AND, the existential system forms accepted and allowed that are on this earth today as a consequence of not understanding how we are absorbent machines and very functional machines. Remember, our thoughts become our actions become our habits, determine the COURSE of our lives, and by extensions, as a collective, the COURSE of this reality.

Naturally, it is important that we realize that we are all the same. It is only belief, opinion and idea in a bubble in our heads, resonant around us that separates us from realizing what is in plain sight. This is why the DOGMA of religion and politics is an illusion, manifest as creating a society communicated via our present media, of storms of value judgements, spinning in a very narrow focus, that distracts us from, for example getting aid to countries experiencing drought- of which we obviously are very capable of doing because the natural resources grabbed behind this curtain, are constantly moving. This does not stop- or your cell phone would not always be so readily available. How can we not see the contrast of the two when they are so IN OUR FACE, if we slow down, step out of our emotional firewalls and LOOK HERE.

Do we not wonder why so many of our children in our high schools are labeled as having “ SLOW PROCESSING’ speeds? Our projections of storied mis-information, is right there, around us, resonant, sucking the life from us. Various practices, in our society today, though segmented, acknowledge this.  Yet we are, in some ways not bringing them together, because we, as being in a bubble, are not seeing the parts and the whole, as what we are telling ourselves!

For example, there are apps that suggest writing out our emotions. There is a practice I have encountered where children are pulling up memories, to resolve ( micro) traumas. This is a reflection of and as ourselves telling ourselves that we are being emotional firewalls of and as memories that must be cleared in order to improve our processing speeds! These memories are emotional and they are slowing down a natural ability to process information effectively. 

We also understand, as all the research in reading makes this very clear, the more effective use of and as how we SOUND ourselves, as our words, as those small parts that compose our expression that is never the real practical living thing, and only ever like a reciprocal reflection of something to share perspective to then UNDERSTAND as check before taking action - that process of always respecting the practical as the living reality around us. 

This medium, of sound as words, as expression in a verbal form, can also be HUGELY manipulated. lol, this can be said, in a moment, when someone speaks, to begin talking out loud, about how much words can be manipulated and used to distract from reality.  Here , I am thinking about how chemical drugs are given new names, based on adding a ‘ foot’ as another chemical, that segments when placed in the body, so that the chemical drug is actually, in practice the same as an earlier drug that has lost its patent, and no longer can generate huge profits. This new drug can have a new name, be marketed and sold at a much higher price (  insurance rates?) when it is the same drug! This is all done with subtle manipulations of the physical, and with words;  words painted in windows, formed into something that does not fully disclose what it really is within what it actually does. I mean, how corrupt is that? And who is responsible to investigate and understand this?  We are, each of us. It is something that can be understood, yet if one is busy managing a layered onion of limited information as value judgements which is polarization into good and bad, becoming resistance to reality, how can one slow down and hear the orchestra of movement around us? Emotional firewalls take a lot of time management! And, I will not go into what the ignorance of taking these drugs does to the environment, and how that seemingly no significant difference, accumulated over time - just as the emotional memory resonantly accumulates over time, -causes the very distraction that does not LOOK at what our small actions become and effect the living environment around us. Nor will I go into what this does to those that come after us, as the children and the growing numbers of them that do not even have a chance at life because of what has accumulated in the environment affecting their growth- also sold by what we call teachers in schools!

We have to LOOK at the very fabric of what we are doing, what we are being, within and as ourselves, and begin to recognize this within ourselves, to then be able to recognize this around us, to then self correct the very focus of who and what we are into realizing the real means of what is the real capacity of what we are in total, as working parts moving in tandem together, to create a world that is expansive and effective and actually moving as life, which is a movement of steady sustained productive expression and creation, it is a structuring as a skill set that fashions sustainable ‘ trees’ of expression.  The power is in the numbers. Individual, unique and present as the effective skill sets that can only be realized within respecting all things around us and as us HERE, in this physical reality- that one thing that is what our attention is taken away from; within agriculture practices made ritual into tradition, defining us, yet separating us from this reality - as all those resources as what is real and what is ironically owned by a few,  into religion and politics that is the voice of justification for what is a separation from what is the MOST real, which is the physical.  

Some call this getting out of one’s head ‘ trip.” Because it is a HUGE head trip.  In reality,  we are on a PHYSICAL TRIP.  Just ask yourself why the physical is what is owned by the few, and how religion is meant to make believe there is a better life somewhere else. And, religion is a make believe, because no one has actually seen it, and come back from it. Look at when one believes  a lost one is ‘ around one”? That is memory. There is not “ one around “ one, it is a vessel, as a layered onion of value judgements. Have to also ask yourself, why in America, there is a lesson in high school from the Shakespeare play ‘ Hamlet” that subtly is an idea of and as “ shoot the messenger”? lol, we are psychologically in-FORMED to believe the messenger is shot. Don't call things out by name, you may be shot. This is a manipulation of WORDS, of SOUND.  We have become instruments emitting emotional fire storms. Does this not describe the valley of good and evil? Yes, just as a cup is a cup, this is what we are allowing and accepting, that emotional firewall is the valley of right and wrong, more than and less than, good and bad. The composition of which are those emotional reactions, that can be realized as comparison, imagination, blame, spite.  They are all fear. 

 When we as a fabric create apps to write emotional states out, and practices to pull up memories,  we are revealing to ourselves what we have allowed ourselves to be, and what we allow ourselves to focus upon - all composed of WORDS.  HAHA ,too late, the cat is out of the bag! Shooting away the messenger is not going to change this. Like a master of martial arts, real compassion is to not accept what does not focus self into being a master of self, to structure self, as become effective skill sets, that lend effective interaction with PRACTICAL physical reality as the CREATION OF SELF AS LIFE, here. 

This begins with careful and effective restructuring of the notes, as the words, as the sounds generated by the self, that build the habit fabric of self that inform one’s actions in a real and physical world that is in plain sight, right here. After all, without the trees, without breath we do not exist - no religion and/or no dogma supersedes this.  The nature of effective parenting, would place the means in PLAIN SIGHT to lend self autonomy as who and what one is.  We are physical. The physical is LIFE. 

Day 655 I am the nature of change.

I realize that I fear change, and yet this is a natural ability within me, and the physical world surrounds me to enable me to change to fit with what is here, and to work with in ways that do no harm.

I can see where television, imparts a vision that has nothing to do with the reality as the physical world surrounding myself here.

I also can see where the contrast of our present education system, moves at a much slower rate than the imagery on a screen, filled with possibility and excitement.

In a world where a child has little to no interaction with the physical reality surrounding them, and a communication system that use words to bring out detail, and a television that orders movements and picture that appear to defy reality, and an education system that micro manages in abstraction only, for many hours a day, can we see how we are in effect not educating our children to realize their full potential?

We understand that what we think can become automated in our behaviors, the measure we are exposed to, as media and the slow-motion of learning in our schools of a set body of information, abstractly, without practical application- as being away from using our immense common sense - eventually becoming what automates us, or, what directs us, or what we program ourselves to direct our physical bodies as.

I mean, look at the Harem effect in our schools. This is a program of a set body of values, that a person believes defines their value, or believes brings some excitement. If this is the information, as a series of values composed of measures, like data, or like ‘ tradition” which is a set of data based on a past,  then that is what that person attends to, has programmed their body to move towards. This is okay, yet when one’s set of values are made larger than other values, as they are all values, one not more than another, what is missed in perception and what directs that lacks a respect for all values? What is lost in the elimination of other values that are in no way more or less than one’s perceived values collected into what directs the person’s attention?

And, is one so busy chasing these limited values that the potential of other values is simply ignored? This is like wandering though a forest and ignoring anything that does not motivate one, when all those others trees have values, and together form the forest that is the very means of life, as the trees all emit oxygen for each part in this fabric of existence.

And if one is so busy following these limited values, is everything else no longer visible, as the imagination has become larger than life? I mean is this not what abstract teaching only and constant tele-vision in effect doing?

Have we allowed ourselves to become programmed with limited information and within the practice of that limited programming as what is our cognition/our directive map, lost sight of how we accepted that programming to the detriment of a natural spatial ability that is the very means to sense that forest and each individual tree? In other words, we have become a mind consciousness system, following an inner informative order on automaticity as what directs us, forgetting how this all works!

Imagine trying to explain this to a mind consciousness system that believes that mind consciousness is more real than that forest?

And meanwhile that program will say “ you are not listening” when that ‘ not listening’ is really that the program that is all that is seen, only wants acceptance of itself because it sees nothing else!

And yet, one can change, because that information was placed and accepted, a process of construction that can be deconstructed. Yet a principle must be what guides in the reconstruction, as this can create a constant, and that constant must be what can withstand all change. It must be that point of stability, reminding the person of that forest and the individual parts of that forest, down to the leaves on the tree.

This principle must be what is best for all, because this has that which follows a program, for a moment, to consider all things. We can sense that forest and the leaves on all the trees, as this is how great our ability to assess and absorb information is. We can retain what we assess as a form for a moment, and become an ability to change in every moment with that innate spatial ability. 

Given that what is programmed can become automated on another level through generations. As the parents become the program and physically direct themselves as this, and end up modeling this for the child, who then is exposed to this every day, because the child does not have enough information accumulated to realize what is happening.  Thus the parents model the limited information, as this is physically directing them.

We all know this is happening, as we ignore what is happening in the world, and are involved in our immediate environments, where television/entertainment and specialized jobs consume our attention. We move like we have visors on, and bury our frustrations in entertainment and drugs, because the suppression of our full potential is a lot of work. Thus we are allowing a fluid ability to assess ( learning to crawl) to direct in a very narrow focus.

If in every action we make, in this next moment, included the principle of what is best for all, we would begin to look outward,and realize the structures of, for example, our economic system as being what is not what is best for all.  We would begin to investigate the structures, and even begin to understand that we were never taught how the money system works because it would mean we would understand that by design it is not what is best for all and therefor cannot work. We would begin to realize the structural patterns within and without.

We are accepting a system that is acting in self interest, just as we each are lost in our own self interest, having forgotten to respect what we are, as physical beings living on a physical and finite planet.  This is  a planet that works in symbiosis, not as a monoculture. Look, are our bodies a monoculture? No, they are a system of many different parts that work together in symbiotic ways. Our bodies are not a monoculture.

Is it no wonder that the physical labor jobs are paid the least and the abstract-on-paper-work jobs are paid the most? This is because the paper work jobs can manipulate in self interest away from what is real -moving limited information. This is a building of structures far away from that forest, forgetting that fabric of the physical world that is the means of one’s life, as that forest is a part of one’s physical body- without it, one cannot live. The system reflects what each is allowing within.

In this, all jobs, no matter what, are equal in importance and within this, each one must move within the principle of what is best for all, in consideration of all things, as all things are you in another life, in another form. 

As one begins to realize one’s program composed of values that are essentially a measure about the physical world surrounding us, and begins to look not only at what one has accepted and allowed, and the distractions to not face this, as the television ( not a ‘ bad”) and the education system of a set body of information that does not teach how the system is structured  ( or we would not have starvation and environmental degradation) one begins to discern the without and the within. The without being the real  physical world around us as that forest and all the leaves on all the trees, and that within as what one has accepted as belief and idea and opinion that is an enlarged imaginary value only; a measure, a data about this symbiotic world. This is how a  mind consciousness system  is what has been accepted, where the imagination is in separation from reality, and that imagination is believed to be more real, than reality as the physical.

The means to begin to ground one’s self back into reality, is to move as the principle of what is best for all, as this is what is best for self, because self as life, exists because of what works and what works is what is best for all, which is how earth exists because it moves in symbiotic ways, which is respecting all things and taking that which is good and does no harm. 

One must be able to change, in every moment, assessing all things. One must be fluid as to what is formed within and what is formed without. Each has this capacity, or we would not have learned to crawl and to walk and to talk. For those who could not learn to crawl and walk and talk, it is because of the consequences of each, within each generation, not considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, in every moment of breath. We are all a part of creation as the physical. Our responsibility is to all things. What is best for us, here, is what is best for all.

Day 580 Repetitive Play, the Opportunity to Collect Data.

I have had a new person in my life for a few weeks. What I find so cool, is how much I am able to not take things personally, which I attribute to the Desteni I  Process. Within this process I begin to see how my mind works, how thoughts work and how the accumulation of thoughts can become emotions and feelings, the emotions being the fear, the doom and gloom as an idea of what may happen in the future based on a past where I had an idea about what I was based on mis-takes that were myself lacking an understanding of moving myself in practical ways. Then, the feelings that were justifications for the emotional reactions that were, again, the accumulation of fearful actions, where fear was allowing false evidence appearing to be real, which I allowed to define me.

Today I watched a talk about data collection, where it was suggested that machines will surpass humans in basic skills through data collection. Meaning a machine can collect data faster and then apply that data to, for example, win a chess game every time when playing with a human.

It was said that machines remediate many times and then are able to play the game.

It was also mentioned that our present bureaucracies have limited us, because they have become stagnant within allowing growth as the practices become entrenched, as the laws limit movement under the guise of protection.

I realize that as the system functions at present, that so many humans have little time and opportunity to remediate again and again until something is understood, as in having, for example the time to play chess enough to play well. Humans like these new computers, must also have the time to follow through mis-takes until the parts of the whole are sensed and integrated enough to enable mastery.

In our present system is there enough breathing space for people to develop themselves to the point of mastery? Do we have the opportunity to remediate until there are no longer mis-takes, and that what is before us is integrated enough that we can begin to create and transform? Have our bureaucracies become so burdensome that we are stagnant in our time and space to remediate in ways that allow us to understand that we can grow and expand in our awareness when we have the opportunity to learn?

Given all of this, what thoughts I had, that were of my experience, in a world where for some generations there has not been enough time to apply actions again and again that build understanding through making the mistakes and understanding that in learning we make mistakes as a necessary part of the process of learning. Many of my thoughts were limited because there was no understanding that learning is a process and that the mis-takes along the way do not define who I am, they simply show where I am within a process of building understanding of practical reality.

So, within spending time with another person, and in realizing that I am not defined by mis-takes, I can let them go, and simply look here, forgive the thought about a past of belief within a cycle of building understanding that had no real follow through into a real depth of understanding that I allowed to become a thought about who I am in my ability, when this was not who I was, it was where I was in a process of understanding and that this was in a world that for generations have been believing in the same self definitions based on not having had the opportunity to follow through and practice something until it was integrated and understood enough so that one could stand within this in certainty. Also, to realize within this, that it is the focus and certainty in the doing that is what is enjoyable. And this would build compassion, and empathy for others, and a desire to share because it is the realization that there are really no mis-takes, there is only practicing something until it is understood. Interacting with another person, after having walked the Desteni I Process  and coming to understand how my thoughts are a reflection of limitation and stagnation in not having allowed myself to realize that in learning and understanding here, as the practical reality, takes remediation until what is here is understood.  When there is disagreement, it simply means that there is not an equal understanding and thus, the solution is right in front of us, meaning the only way to be, is to investigate practical reality to see how it functions in common sense, as the form reveals the function so it can be understood, and that the past mis-takes - do not define or determine my personal value.

So, do we not see what our so-called computers are doing in all common sense? Do we not see that they are becoming so called “ smarter” than us as they practice and collect data, as the measure of the world around us? Do we not see what is so obvious and right in front of us?

We are believing that humans are incapable, and yet when a human has the chance and the ability to do, they expand. And, not only do they expand, they have the capacity to review the whole AND the parts and see patterns and then make choices that would not bring harm, because this is what each would chose in all practical common sense.

It is time to stand up and become the life that is here right in front of us. We need only do this, in joining together, as two or more in the name of what is best for all life, and create a system, one that is already in place structurally in many ways, and align this system to ensure that all have their basic needs met, and as such, can take the time to see the horizon as life as this planet that surrounds us and gives us the means to breath and be life, here.

We decide, lets get this done. Come back down to Earth. B-earth Yourself. Give yourself the gift of life.

Day 487 Self Forgiveness on Thinking. What is thought?

Sometimes I allow myself , when moving through a point to procrastinate. It is that I am allowing the point to be HUGE and it is not.Once moving through a point, there is a sense of “ duh” so I realize that I am making it difficult. I can’t blame anyone but myself.

Today I asked myself. “ why did I need to think?” How could I see if I were thinking when perception is simply looking? How could I take in what was around me if I were thinking? Taking something in, in totality, needs only that focus, and anything distracting from that would diminish that process of taking something in. So, taking something in would need to come from silence, from nothing.

What  relief in a way, to not have to think, to not have to be prepared in some way to take something in. Thus, to really “see” would mean to come from a state of nothing, which means no thinking while looking. Thinking would, from a scientific standpoint, mean there is static within self as the movement of thinking, disrupting what was being taken in.

Note, that this does not mean, especially from where we have allowed ourselves to be, that we do not need to practice looking.

Ironically, we have televisions all around us telling us what to value, what to accept, what to think about. Which means that there is a lot of static around us, to disrupt looking. If we think of ourselves as a substance that would life , then a moment of silence may actually cause a moment of real seeing. In a hierarchy that would not be cool, because it would disrupt this.

But it is us, all of us that is allowing this constant thinking, this constant “ thinging” around us. Is this because we are afraid to see, we are afraid of the silence? And, this silence is how to see because it is nothing/no thing, which means clearing the mind to take in that which is something - as an expression in totality.

I mean, just look at how a piece of music can rapidly change a mood, disperse a hang-up on an emotion and alter the listener’s state. So, an emotion can change. Well, if one became silent in the face of emotion, would this be like starting again, in a moment, to register what is here from nothing, to stabilize in seeing, to clear the emotion,, and as this to correct what caused the emotion, to realize what would start again as a correction to a state of seeing, a state of ease, without the chaos, the static of thinking as holding a belief as an emotion? Is this not the way to correct an emotion to forgive that emotion back to ease, which is back to participation within self direction and self honesty with the life around us?

Any of us can realize that we cannot participate in our day, when we are hung up on an emotion. or over excited, such always leads to “ missed moments” and we regret that we were being so emotional. This especially happens within relationships. We later regret what was said and done and realize that we were selfish with our emotions and did not slow down and take the time to equalize in understanding with the other, and solve what was causing the conflict.

Our media uses this to distract from what is happening with political decisions, as we are all caught up in some soap opera of judgements, the workings of self interest are moving behind this curtain of emotional drama. So, those workings in self interest can say to all of us, we hid nothing, it was right here in plain day, in plain sight - lol and we were all in drama sight/emotional judgement sight - a thin veil really, so we cannot blame the system. As within so without. We cannot ask the system to change, because it is us. The many that can somewhat read, must change this, which means anyone on the internet. 

Thus, in so many ways, what desteni is saying we all know. We are just being that person within that storm of emotion, not having gotten to the other side, slowing ourselves down, to equalize in understanding to bring ourselves out of the static and correct to understanding where the discord stops and the ease within the communication within the relationship returns, the silence, where two people ( in this example) feel at ease with one another. And that is probably the most fun one can have, that ease with another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take thinking seriously.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to thinking within, and without seriously, as in believing that what another thinks defines me, or is the end all be all of what I am or what is real as what is here as life as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I think I am creating something, thus I forgive what I think as defining me until I can slow myself down to the point where I am ease within and as myself within becoming silent as in having no thought, as this is myself here, able to take in without expectation, without judgement, without fear and as such this is myself able to take in what is here in totality as thinking would limit my perception to accept what is here in totality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that taking in the words of someone, accepting the words of others where such words cause a movement within and as me, as thought would mean that correction has not been reached as in understanding to the point of being at ease, thus within this, to not allow another to speak or answer, to discuss and resolve is a crime against life, a from of bullying in self interest.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to with every breath, to slow myself down and look without thought to see what is here in totality, to thus not react to what comes to me in the form of value judgement - as in comparison, fear of loss, desire for gain - as such within and as me, is not myself able to see in totality from a point of silence , from which I can only make a decision about what is best for all, because I must slow down and look, sense what is here in order to be able to direct myself within respect for all life, for all that is here as including the physical world as being as much life as what we humans have been lead to believe, accepted, as the mind, an alternate reality as being more than the physical, and within this to realize that what is the truth is hidden right in front of us,  thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become silent within and as me, as a state of ease, to realize that all things here must be sensed when directing myself here, which is to begin from a starting point of respect for everything that is here as me as life, because it is everything that is that one something that allows me to be an expression as life, here, thus it is for me to silence myself as nothing to see everything and to respect all that enables me to be here as something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something outside of me has caused me to have lost something, when all I need do, is silence myself and breath and accept all things, including the physical, to bring myself into directing myself within and as what is best for all here, this which would allow a state of ease as life, as myself to be, and as such, if created for all one earth would allow life to begin within and as realizing that it is ourselves as being something from nothing that is expression of life which cannot exist as long as the static - so to speak- of judgement exists as thinking, because thinking is being stuck reading a picture as a secondary image taken of here, and cannot be the total sensing of the formation of life as the physical which must be done in every moment from silence, as such we cannot fathom because we are all so caught up with the something as the clutter as mind and so addicted to this, as ourselves fearing to simply not fear loss. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can lose something. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I am an emotion as a fear of loss, I am not one and equal to myself at ease, in silence, myself being here and as such equal to everything, which includes the actual physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i need to think.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thought must be in accord with what is best for all, for the silence and ease of myself as life to exist, here, as this is myself from nothing to something as everything, of which I can only be as, as the part that i am here as existence for which I am thankful for all the other parts, as without the other parts that are me as life here, I would not be the part as me , here, as the composition of the parts create the whole, and as this, this is the real roller coaster - so to speak - as the joy of life, which is each part working together as the whole, in equality and oneness here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated myself from life into and as thought here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i have been hurt, mistreated and unloved, as idea within and as me, as this is the same that I have been given, which is idea of more than and less than, this pain as me is myself having accepted judgement, as this is myself having moved as fear of loss, of which I denied myself, myself as life, having not silenced myself as mind, to  move from a point of silence, a point of ease, to accept all things and respect all things and direct myself in consideration of all things to direct myself here in equality and oneness, meaning realizing the physical world is all things too.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject the physical as being less than what is in and as my mind as thought. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I was taught as a child, to give as I would like to receive, and as such, when I began to judge the physical I was not in effect giving as I would like to receive because I was rejecting the physical world in all its expression and allowing one thing to be more than another, instead of looking at everything as the physical and realizing that the value was life, where not one physical thing was more than another.

Thus, ‘When and as I  find myself full of thought, and thus in separation from here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that unless as mind I am silent, as in being equal to the starting point of here, I am no longer in sense without judgement.

When and as I find myself believing that I am more than or less than another I see, realize and understand that  I  am not moving here within and as solution as that which is best for all here.

When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I stop and I breath and I walk myself through the belief that what is here is too much, or too difficult to walk through and I see realize and understand that I can only walk one thing at a time, and that allowing the focus of myself onto the knowledge and information only , in and as my mind, I am distracting myself from being in common sense, walking practical steps as how being physical means and does,  and I put myself back on track, through realizing equality and oneness with and as the physical , here.

Day 471 A knot in my chest. Not being directive, here.

I have had a knot in my chest, and I have been trying to find a way to work through this. I find I am trying to see how to move myself here without reacting, and I reacted to a couple of things recently in terms of dealing with people. I responded to their minds, instead of directing in simplicity, looking at form and function of the physical world, and how the limitation of the minds causes all manner of emotional storms.

One time I had someone show me how to play something on the violin. And she said, to move with the thing being played gently, at ease, meaning without force. Since that day, I know better to practice in a rushing manner, or with a vision of gain, and instead to move gently, even playing this way, and then adding percussive elements - for example - once the form is understood/felt/integrated. One can learn things much faster this way, it takes a kind of focus that is agreeing to what is being learned without reaction.

It is very gentle - so to speak.

So, I took this and I looked at how I reacted to others. I had given myself a direction with this other person, to lessen their reactions that were creating a lack of self responsibility. When I suddenly, un-expectenutly encountered them, they reacted and I reacted to their reaction, taking it as an affront to myself, which was myself lost in ego, determining myself according to some self possessed entity as idea.

This allowing of myself as an idea so vaporous, and without any movement of self forgiveness.

Not to say what I had decided to say would not have brought the same reaction, but within myself it was a simple directive, one that I used when I was overwhelmed as a single mom.

I was busy in schools, both teaching and going to school, and taking care of my children. I had organized my time; I did not do my school work until 10 at night, and then I allotted two hours to this, every night, which worked out fine because I knew there would be little to no interruption,and I could get a lot done in allotting focus without the possibility of interruption. I also found that I did not get my garbage to the dump. So, one day I drove to the dump and noted the time it took. So, whenever I felt overwhelmed I would tell myself that it took so many minutes to get this done. This lessened the HUGE effort I had turned getting my garbage to the dump, as idea, into. I remember I had to do a lot of this kind of thing at that time in my life, and perhaps this is why I ended up being a destonian because in the process I realized how often I made an emotional mountain out of a molehill task.

This morning I realized this, as I buried myself in an emotional storm, to simply look here and realize how physical reality works, and that I complicate physical reality with the mind.

Realizing this, the knot in my chest moved some, lessened it grip, so to speak, with this very gentle forgiving movement, so tiny. Which begs the question within this process, do I expect huge sudden change, or is the act of being self forgiving  a slight movement that is powerful because it is the simple act of being forgiving with self?

Even here, I notice that righteousness coming up, like a sudden “ problem solved’ scenario and a sense of hopelessness. like this is too small to make a difference. Ironic, in the end it is being forgiving, here, each of us, that will build a heaven on earth. I mean being this simple movement - as I understand it on a very small scale as what it took as a tiny movement to lesson a tension, a pressure, a tiny knot in my chest, is what as a collective  - a cool elective - can stand as where each part would become as brilliant as the whole such would create, so much so that the aggrandizement of self in a bubble based on limited values cannot even begin to compete.

Desteni I Process Lite Free

What are your emotions and feelings doing to YOU!

Day 398 What Just flashed before my eyes?

I had one of those mornings where i woke up and remembered a past event. I had been watching True Blood  a while back, and as I watched the opening credits I noticed some images flash by that i did not remember seeing before. I stopped and thought, “What was that!?” So, I replayed the opening credits and tried to pinpoint the image I had seen, that i had not noticed before. It was a porn picture of two people having intercourse. It was really hard to stop the frame on the image. They flashed by so fast. Why had I not seen this before? Probably, I had just sat and watched the opening credits in a stupor, and for some reason this day I was not in such a stupor.

I realize that these extremely quick images are probably not meant to be seen by the average human in a stupor, just as I had been, but they are meant to excite the subconscious or unconscious mind.  Porn images imbedded in a TV show opening credit. I wonder what else is going on. And I ask myself why this is being used? I had thought that this was illegal. Perhaps, the image is a micro-second longer and thus sits outside of the law, would not surprise me, and who sets the law? If my assumption is right. Since a few own the media, the meanderings of misinformation as the tool of the present monopoly game of inequality, if we watch in ignorance as a tired state of stupor we are prisoners to this order of the day. A hierarchy where money represents sustenance freely given, owned by a few, life becomes a ponzi scheme.  Competition elimination can be done through lack, and disinformation is a form of lack, a form of separation from common sense. It is difficult to see what is being done right in front of us if we allow a stupor to overcome us. Embedding suggestive images in a film is deliberate: it did not just get there by itself.  This is meant to excite into some idea, energetic high, a short lived experience, reckless. It is a picture with music used as a trigger, releasing endorphins and hormones. This is a mechanism of control. This is not self in self responsibility, self direction. Nor is it self being aware, I mean why plant these images into a film with such short time frames?

The porn industry is a multi-million dollar industry and it needs the human to exist in a state of addiction to this to feed the profit from it. So, the human watches a show and images are flashed, with exciting music, and voila, an association is made within a feeling of excitement with an image that is not registered  in the conscious mind, this small part of ourselves we allow to be what we are, This is the level of the stupor we exist as. Perhaps, someone else out there in this internet world has noticed this within the opening credits of True Blood. That this exists means that we humans are programmed and programmable. Like organic robots, like computers. What is it that is allowing this, and why are we not directing ourselves with this that is the substance that takes the picture, allows the picture? Why are we not standing up and becoming directive ourselves? Within this, what is presently happening within this world is the fault of no one but each of us, we acquiesce, and it is time to clean this up. Real intimacy has nothing to do with a quick energetic high. And we have to stop this system of inequality from creating the zombies of stupor that we have all become where we cannot even see what  we are allowing to flash before our eyes.

Listen to the interviews about what you are at Eqafe.com Many are free.

And deconstruct the emotional/feeling thoughts you exist as to understand what and who you are so that this world can begin to clean up what is allowed on earth that is unacceptable. Desteni I Process Lite. So much is given for free here, to allow you to begin to understand yourself as the very substance of what you are as life. It is time for the dis-eased stupor as the human of life on earth to stop. It is unacceptable.

Day 374 The paranoia of the unKNOWN cont.

My fear of the unknown is based on my fear of survival.  In existing as fear of survival I accept a limited view of life, as I ignore physical reality as life, as the substance of life here. Obviously, the trees and the grass and the air are not owned by anyone, they are here and we cannot remember why they are here. Is it our fear of survival that separates us from realizing here, looking at what is actually here and the very form and function of here! We have accepted a system that grabs in self interest instead of gives that which it is, life. We ignore what is right here in front of us, giving to us, this earth, life. It is only man that has created a belief that something can be owned, nature has no sign, no signature that says one man owns what is here. One only own/grabs because of fear, of ignorance, the opposite of nature, which gives. What would such separation bring? create?

So, within this natural giving world as this earth as this physical world, why would there exist such things as a floating head with a rainbow ring around it and this white light stream behind it going off into some distance with a velvet black behind it? Why is this there and why is communication with this absent? Why would a teenager make this up? And what would be the point? And why is the behavior of what is seen so weird, meaning of such reaction and anger? This in itself is an indication that something is really really out of place, because what is the point of this? How in any way does this develop a human into the true potential of a man? In all common sense there is no way, that this event, person, entity, demon, vision, whatever someone wants to call it, is a reasonable thing to exist. It does not matter what label a religion would give to this, there is simply no justification for it. And the latest question I ask is, why the hell is this off this ground, not equal to this physical ground of earth, this earth where there are people who can learn to play musical instruments very well, do many things, become developed human beings? We do not have to research what our children are capable of, we see children on TV who sing beautifully, make scientific discoveries, which means that our children are capable of being trained, given proper education and sustaining nourishment. Why have an entity of lesser dimension exist in a behavior of anger, clinging to this physical world acting out what appears at superficial value to be disruptive, and why fear this? Why do we have the same behaviors now with men and woman on this earth. Has our consumerist pickings brought a voice of the people as life?

So, is that floating angry head a misaligned part and substance of life? And should we realize that this is us, that this is life that has not been corrected and  made equal to life? That we are diminishing the actual physical world on levels we are not even aware of, in our abuse and disrespect of life, so prevalent on this earth, with the gross existential inequality? Have we created a polarity of heaven and earth, where life is not being lived, and the dispersement of this means that we are destroying ourselves on levels we had better realize or all will be lost? Is it time to bring heaven to earth, as what Christ was trying to say, which means cleaning up all our behaviors, within and without. This started with all of us as how we allow ourselves to be in every part of our beingness. Consciousness is the play-out of behaviors of separation from life. Our leaders the extreme of this behavior.  Is consciousness the mirror of accepted limited design, of human hubris forgetting life/earth/reality, with behaviors of poverty/sexual abuse/genocide/disease to match? An absence of awareness, ignorance that is the behavior of gain in self interest, a system of inequality that has allowed money to determine life on a planet that gives life equally. Our demons are simply a byproduct of our separation, and now they are within us, as our accepted and allowed behaviors of greed within allowing and continuing this system of survival.  Unless we stop and realize that life is the value. Life would be a lightness of being, and who here, that might read this can say they are a lightness, as in weight, of being? No one.

Is what we label as supernatural, super natural? Meaning what is suggests, something imposed onto what is natural, what is real? Reactive behaviors, such as floating heads with angry faces, are indications that something is in separation from the natural world, as the natural world gives, is life.  Some illusion of lesser dimension exists, and thus is in separation from what is real, as this actual physical, natural world. Are our judgements of others just as much a separation from life as any “ entity”? Obviously, we are separate from earth, or we would not be destroying earth and believing that some are less than others. This is the super- natural, it is not natural. Nature is not utopia, nature is simply life. Man is so much in separation that a singular exists as being ideology only.

On a practical level, our so called leaders, are pushing everything away and pulling the rug from under our feet. At least they are using both their hands, they have had some more education that the rest of us, they at least know how to use two hands, the rest of us just stand there like zombies sucking our thumbs. And I sucked my thumb for a long time. But, still, our leaders are divided from life. They believe that the masses need to be manipulated. And this is supernatural, it is not nature, as it does not develop democracy, it presents it with a forked tongue, but it has not created democracy, as the voice of the people, is not the voice of life, which is what the true voice of people would be. No piece of paper can justify this crime, and thus all pieces of paper are rendered obsolete. We live in a projection of hope, with a lascivious tongue of greed behind the voice of promise, this is a paranoise of separation and it is time to stop. It is not acceptable.

We have been told not to judge.

I have allowed myself to be overwhelmed with my survival at the expense of life, an inner allowance of not looking at what has been allowed on this earth, that must stop as it is not developing and allowing the true potential of earth, of life, to be in expression here. In not being here, practically working with this physical world, and what is best for this world, this physical reality, I am existing as the paranoia, the paranoise creating a divide of known and unknown, consuming my senses, my flesh, and building a distance from life. Here I then believe that there exists an unknown. and the known is here, right in front of all of us. Look at the picture of the word- unKNOWN. We have allowed a system that does not support life. We have allowed a system of ownership and division in separation from equality with life, with being respectful of life here. Ghosts, and poverty and pollution and isolated estates of cared for earth, sexual abuse, and animal and forest destruction are, in all common sense, a disease, and it is time to stop this separation from a known ease. Our system of division has created the distraction of judgement which is a perpetual fear of loss, blinding us from our directive capacity as life in common sense of this physical world and thus creating the existence of an unknown. We are our own ghosts, this ghost is our separation from life, what we resist is what we deny, what we lose intimacy with and if we remain in this ignorance we create our own unknowns, where the real “ unknown “ is the nothing from which we came, that is really the gift of life. Like being in a process of birth with every breath, how awesome would that be?

In practical reality, this means protesting does nothing, it only allows the bully to realize the disciples of ignorance are right where they need to be, busy with blame and fear of loss instead of practically looking in common sense at the existent structures, standing up and organizing this world into a place where all life is cared for, as being the value, as the means of expression of ourselves as life here. Our system of values are in separation,  limited. Our acceptance of this system cannot work because its values are limited. We have not accepted life. The consequence of this rejection of life, are much of what has been created on this earth, thus we have a lot to clean up, a lot to align back on earth, to align with this actual physical world, as this is what is real. 

That angry man was looking down at me, I was not looking down on him. And I noticed him when I was in a state of quiet, calm. When these white light things would happen, I was calm, which means I was probably not in my head, I was silent. Which, just after my husband had died, I was numb, I mean, I had lost everything, so I was numb, there was nothing there, as mind chatting away, because i was numb, it was all meaningless, all that occupied me as my life with my husband, there in Europe, and I came back to the states to an, by comparison, garish smily, happy American standard personification, and it was LOUD to me, really loud after the more reserved Swiss mode of operation. So, here I am numb, “ bugged out” as some might say, and there in front of me was more of this subtle neon like bubble around people, like a lesser dimension of “ stuff” and all I could think was: what in the fucking name of god is that! What is going on, what is that”  

Do we ever have a lot to get done. All of this is a reflection of out rejection of life. it is what we fear facing because we have accepted a lesser value system, one that has formed a pyramidal system of inequality on this earth,  this that we have built without consumes us physically, because of our accepted and allowed within, which must be be realigned back to and as a common sense and respect for this earth. It is the only way, and the sooner we realize this the better.  Self forgiveness, refocus yourself here, equal and one to the gift of life, this actual physical work.

It is time to stand and develop equality, to bring ourselves back to earth, to life, to what is real. We might want to deny this earth, because it is a mess, but given that we have, or had floating heads in this existence, means that something was seriously out of whack. There is no more (-as as) heaven ( this would be the illusion), as it should be. Life would be symbiotic, communicative, in expression with and as itself, equal and one. 

The solution is to realize the limited dimensions we exist as, where there are many dimensions here, simply divided and segregated into parts surrounded by borders. Which means that not all within each faction is all bad or all good, it means it is divided from accepting all life, from being symbiotic with life as earth, here, in equality. Our monetary system must be changed to one of equality, where all have what allows the human body, this that is like a plant, what it needs to sustain itself, as every plant is needed, all the substance of life is needed to be in communication , for the expression of life to exist, thus this idea that the undeveloped on this earth just need to disappear is the real illusion, it is as what it does, it is a destruction of life. The solution is to bring back to earth, all that has been rejected and to align this equal and one to and as life. What fun really, if we get over this being something overwhelming! 

The solution to doing this, to begin this, is to forgive ourselves of our separation, to stop pushing life away, and live, through self forgiveness for which the desteni I process is available, and to support an Equal Money System to support the life that is here with what life needs to be and become a behavior of giving, absolutely.

The reward of stopping our paranoia, our alternate reality composed of our separation, our rejection of life, this which we have rejected that persists as the unacceptable behaviors of a consequence of unsustained life as what we read about and see on television and locally, even within the ubiquitous drug culture, is to create a heaven on earth, meaning to bring heaven to earth. Is there any greater reward? And are there really any arguments against this? No, there are not. It is an impossibility.

Quantum Systemization

Death Research

The Quantum Mechanics Paranormal Events

The Metaphysics of Imagination

Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race

Day 368 Distraction, Comparison, Competition, Judgement.

So, I am having to memorize a presentation and I notice how so many things come up as distraction, and so many judgement, comparisons and competitions. I know they go no where and are not in any way directive, so I have to stop and focus myself on the information, the whole, the parts. 

I was woking with this child, and they would do this, “ go off” become restless, but they could be talked into slowing down and looking at what they had seen. It took a lot of patience. And then they got faster and faster at it.  It is like I am having to do this for myself, to keep coming back in common sense and not let anything move me. So to speak.

I also notice that when others speak, hesitate, I become this myself, in a way, and this is even harder than doing this for myself, I will have to practice this, a lot.  It is like I am a sponge. Which is what someone said to me one time, I am a sponge. ugh

I suppose it has its benefits, one learns to listen, and this kind of listening is needed when playing music with others, which can be a very intimate experience. One opens up to another when playing, one has to, to play together. Which explains why the abuse on this earth is as it is, we are not listening to what is here, we must be listening to something that is not here, because if we listened we would not be able to take what we have accepted and allowed that exists in earth. There is no way around this. I would think that were we really listening, we would probably start screaming as much as that child crying from the pain of starvation, or that cow locked in a small cage not being able to move for months. If we don’t want such to happen to us as life, why are we allowing this for others? Money is not worth this, Thus money as how we are using it, must stop, and this must change. What we are accepting and allowing from our supposed representatives is not actions of responsibility for life, they are not listening to life. This much is very obvious. This is a problem that has a solution, and if one really listens, the common sense of it can be heard, and realized, that if there is resistance in any way, then common sense has not been heard, you are not listening. The only solution is to realize that life is the value, and that to live this value, a structure must be placed on this earth that absolutely cares for all life, within the realization that life is the value.

Equal Money The solution to bring our separation from life back to life. 

Self forgiveness process, Desteni I Process Lite. TIme to begin the journey to life. It must be done, so might as well get started. You will never look back! I dare you to find out!

Day 353 The lesser self self commitment statements

I commit myself to seeing realizing and bringing back to myself the voices as ideas, opinions and beliefs of what I have accepted and allowed as energetic projections as a protection and self defense within a system of inequality as the construct of many men all participating within the same action as fearing to stand as self as life and to realize the ignorance as the beliefs, opinions and ideas I have used to justify the lesser self as me, in not acing myself here, to stop and to breath and to self forgive such separations to no longer allow this to give meaning to this idea that I aggrandize myself through and as when I manage to survive and gain acceptance, money, position, and/or burden myself with self judgement as believing myself to have lost something, to potentially end us living on the street or in my car, or without food, or on another level of this leveled scale in separation from life, believe myself to potentially have said or done something to cause the lowering of myself within and down on this social scale of being more than another or less than another, to no longer allow myself to move within such associations and relationships existent within and as me within and as a bubble that in itself - no matter in which degree I am developed- is in itself a total separation from life, thus as such I stop and I breath and I direct myself in thought word and deed within and as what is best for all, letting go of a fear of loss as one can walk in practical understanding of how this world functions and apply oneself to stand within and as what is here in common sense as what is best for all.
I commit myself to breath and to slow down and to align how I have separated myself into and as separation from life here, as this separation is heavy, is uncertain, is fear, is unstable , is illusive in that it needs as its nature in and as being in a belief in and as a state of energy as need, and as such seeks constant renewal and validation because it does not stand equal in and as life, here, thus the allowed presence of such cannot be resisted as what one resists persists as it is self accepted and allowed to be projected outward through division/separation from equality and oneness as what is constant which is life here, where there exists no need, want or desire, as what one is as life is what self is as thought word and deed, and as such in equal movement in and as life here, thus nothing can be lost.
I commit myself to slow myself down and breath when and as I experience within and as me any sense of righteousness , where I immediately move into judgement of blame and spite, projecting a sense of blame on a singular point in my exterior world to hide myself from facing my own fear and/or lack in having stood up as myself in totality in self honesty in self responsibility in and as life, here, because i was not taught, because I feared confrontation, because I feared leaving what was comfortable, because I did not know where to go, because I feared to look here because of all of the previous reasons, and to stop this, and to investigate here and how what is presently on earth works to see, realize and understand within myself and without as the manifested systemic design of the same action I was/am within, without, and to stop and to begin to walk what is best for all in detail within and as a practical applicative corrective action that manifests what is best for all as I see, realize and understand that something is not working until is works for all life on earth, absolutely.
I commit myself to breathing, to slowing myself down, to realizing thought words and deeds as belief, opinion and ideal, based on relationships inconsiderate of the whole, to stop and look to the whole as all of earth to realize practically what prevents abuse as the lack of opportunity in self development, physically and mentally has an outcome , as an undeveloped life in form with and as earth will find/seek whatever means available, to maintain itself as life, thus all behaviors of abuse on earth are the cause of a system that does not in fact support life, for which we are all responsible for we all accept and allow it, where turning a blind eye is no excuse, as we have accepted and allowed theaddictions of consumerism to occupy our existence instead of to be constant in consideration of self as life and as such of this home, earth, this that is the platform on which we exist as life.
I commit myself to realizing my projected lesser self is myself inferior, and thus in fear of life, in fear of myself as life, and here, to stop and to breath, to align myself with my physical body as breath, and to simply let the uncertainty as fear go, and in the process to see what beliefs, opinions and ideas, as ego, I have accepted and allowed and to align this within and as what is best for all, as principle, to support the principle being life, the value being life here, to no longer punish myself with my own constructed protective and divisive illusory self, the weight of which clouds my perceptive ability as myself as life and the being of which consumes myself as life as the physical, diminishing myself as life here as what I resist persists and compounds and enslaves until I stand equal and one in self responsibility to and as it bringing it back to myself and aligning this in common sense within and as the principle of what is best for all, as it is this action of blame and spite that is separation, and not the being of myself within and as what is best for all here, as I cannot control here - so to speak- I can only be the directive in and as life, which is to be in thought word and deed what is best for all as and within myself here, to and towards what I face here.