The Distraction of Micro Management and Intuition. Is Hillary Clinton equal to life? Day 720

I am interested in learning about chemistry and organic chemistry and biology. I realize over time, within doing a little over day, that I can accumulate an understanding of the parts and whole of these systems, how they interact, as their inter-relationships and what that means in terms of the plants and the animals around me, and my own physical body.

I have to build and focus on this, always relating this to this actual and real physical world. It must have a living context.

In doing this, I had to go and look at exponents. I have had some exposure to exponents but not a whole lot of exposure.

During the process I wanted to use laws or rules - guides as knowledge and information, from my past, about how one multiplies negative numbers etc. What I realized as I did a lesson in exponents, is that the former cannot be applied to the later.  Or, my understanding was so in one context only, I did not have the spatial understanding of negatives being a kind of division. The point here was that I found I had to move counter to my beliefs,  I had to move in a counter-intuitive way, as the information that is and was me as my past.

Within the school learning model, as the direct instruction model, one is introduced to new information, and then practices that new information, in integrative activities, and then one practices this on one’s own, reviews it etc. Inherent in this process is one bringing one’s focus onto the form, and ‘ relating’ to it again and again. Thus, one builds an awareness of it, one is developing a relationship.

This then is filed in the body, and eventually can become automated. What happens in this context over time is a forgetfulness of the information that one accepts to direct one’s self. 

In the context of moving counter-intuitively within myself, I had to slow down a train of past information and apply a new perspective within my presence here. And, I had to practice this change. And, I will have to practice this again, over a period of time, being aware of my past habit, recognizing it and moving into the new. 

If I have resistance, then I have to look at why I have that resistance. In this world, it could be that I have another task I must do that I keep in the back of my head. I am not being the director of myself in totality, in presence within what I am doing. And yet, just as that past information is not going anywhere, because I am having to move counter to it, I realize on some level, that I need not hold onto something, because it is essentially not going to go away!  lol, this is where writing a list of what must be done in a day is helpful, because I need not think about something, I can just move through the list.

Overall, what does this experience reveal? It reveals that we move as the information we accept and allow. It means that we can have an idea about something and that this idea, over time, can become this ambiguous information automated within us that we realize as information when we have to learn something new that is counter to this information, which is what being counter-intuitive means. 

This reminds me of having worked with others. Suddenly, the other person comes and says something like, “ I have a feeling that this is ... this or that” And I ask some questions and meet with a repetition of an ambiguous statement as “ well, I have a feeling about this.” There is no other answer but this “ I have a feeling.”  

Since I realize in learning something, that I take in new information, that with practice becomes how I direct myself, and that information automating, to the point where I do not see that information unless i have to apply it in a situation where my information must change, I have forgotten what it is that I use to direct myself. I would not have realized my set way of working with negative numbers unless i had moved into looking at exponents. Here, I experienced what it means to move counter to my own set body of information. I would not have realized a sense of resistance as wanting to move in the learned way, and redirecting that in a new way. I have to ask myself how much do I do this in reality? How much to I move as a ‘ feeling’ without defining the information that is that ‘ feeling’ clearly, and respond with being present here, processing what is here, and changing what information that is me that I have accepted and allowed? This would mean overall, that when one has a ‘ feeling’ one is moving as what one believes, and if not clearly defined, is really not understanding that one is in a situation that is counter to one’s ideas, beliefs and opinions. One is, abdicating one’s presence and being ambiguous in relation to one’s intuition ( body of experience/inFORMation) and hence, resisting change. That intuitive info is bumping up against the practical world and believing itself to be greater than the practical. 

It gets to the point where this starts to become so obvious one could cause a lot of friction in calling this out. Yet, what else is there, it must be called out. This also demands a focus and a fearlessness in calling out these moralities because this is what they in essence are.

This brings me to another experience I have had. I have interacted with school committees. At one time I went and read ‘ the book’ in my state as to the rules and regulations for school committees. I started at the beginning of this 2 inch thick book. After the initial pages, where goals and principles were stated, I started to notice what I was reading was all these details, or, micro management about procedures. When I noticed that what I was reading was a micro-management system of the huge amount of paper work, I turned the subsequent pages and realized that I was reading directions as to how to file this line of paper work information etc, etc, etc.  Within this, I had to move counter intuitive to following information. I had to realize that the beginning of this ‘ book’ were the principles and guidelines of purpose, and the rest, which was most of this book, was simply about making sure the paper work was filed correctly. I was afraid to stand up and reveal this. I  believed that conceptually this would be counter to the running mechanism of the committee! Wow. 

I return to this past moment, because yesterday  I read some legal documents, and realized I was looking at the same thing I noticed within looking at the school committee documents/book.

These legal documents were so immersed in referencing past statutes, with all these numbers and letters and symbols being used to organize other documents, and the information was such of a micro management system, that I started to become confused and anxious within reading this. There may be an inherent logic within this system, yet to realize that inherent logic would take years. It is such a system of causing busy-ness in referencing all the associations one would not immediately see that what one looked at was not a law, but a series of being told how to move in every detail- to such an extent that self discovery would not exist. And yet, we understand in the education system, that self discovery is how we learn! Thus, it is as though the very system of what is not really law, but statutes as to manage every movement, is by design counter intuitive to how we learn, which is self discovery. And, that what exists as this is not a directive as lending understanding, but a purposeful distraction filled with associations by construction, to not allow one to discover that this present system micro manages as a means of separating one from one’s common sense ability!  I also have to ask myself how often I have not used my common sense and differentiated between principle and dictated direction? That ability to learn follows, yet without seeing the patterns, one loses a sense of principle, as what guides one. This means one loses a sense of the whole, the space of here, as one is tied to details that manage how one moves in a reality that reveals itself when one has the opportunity to interact with it. Yet is we are so focused on words on a page that are buried in association- a distraction in itself ( I will not go the next layer into subject redefinitions in the use of words!) - that it would be easy to forget reality, it would be easy to separate from what that micro management system was managing in the first place! Incredible. A crime, and a purposeful abuse of power.

That is so fucking messed up! Yet, this is a mirror reflection of what our intuitions are, as our set body of information that we at times use in an ambiguous way when we respond to things as “ I have a feeling”!  Each of us, inherent in the use of the statement “ I have a feeling’ ONLY, are basically using/following an associative web of information as what we have accepted as a practice to self direct, or, a self micro-management system, that we no longer can process or communicate because it is so layered with cross references in relation to that web of information- it is no wonder we come up with ambiguous statements such as “ I have a feeling’ ONLY to justify the choices we make!  In this, we are a busy work of information that has no real relationship to practical reality, and we resist and spite and react and fight for that inner intuition that resists a real relationship to this physical reality around us. Why do we follow without question?  Do we wonder why we lose our spatial sense of reality as we spend years on and in this physical form called earth?  Our set body of information is not equal to reality. This is practical, it is simple, it is OBVIOUS. It can be called out by name. The only thing stopping one from calling this out is one’s own set body of information,  or one’s intuition, believed to be greater than here,greater than this actual physical world around us, that ground under one’s feet.   Our centralized, government control system of micro managing every move we make is a reflection of each of us being this within ourselves, and it is managing us, in the mirror image of us, because this whole state of being is not being responsible as living a real, direct relationship to what we are as a state of physical beingness! And, to do so, it must set ever more rigid systems of one-size-fits-all because this makes managing the separation from reality as each human, easier to manage! It is a total rejection of self as life,a total rejection of self responsibility. It is counter intuitive to reality, to life, and it causes endless suffering to this life on earth. It is self programming the flesh in self interest, without consideration for all things, which is what one must be and do, to equalize to creating an ‘ intuition’ that works so clearly, one never has to say “ I have a feeling” without being able to define that feeling. 

The irony in this is that the children tend to understand this very quickly. It is the adults, who resist and become full of friction because the deconstruction process is heavy and slow because they have allowed so much information without cross reference to reality to be what informs them.  The separation is thick and like a hamster running on a wheel, no longer able to immediately ground themselves as ‘ jumping off “ that two-inch-book of information as their intuition.  Yes, it is like the children, before this happens to them, circumnavigate the zombies, as the adults of mis-information that is not all bad,  because in essence they do not yet have the words to define and describe this. In other words, they are not being heard- and many are already on the journey of this separation. IN this age of information, this, I assume, will only exacerbate. Do we notice that our children are having a loss of mastering the most simple of things? Are we as parents wanting a system to solve this problem- which means we are the consequence to this same scenario? Who, may I ask, can fix this? Especially if the adults are the products of this? lol, no one can, and the cost of hiring another person to do this, in an effective way, would be very very pricey. Therefor, only you can, only the parent themselves. Only the self can sort this out. It is impossible for someone else to do this. Yet, the first step is admitting to this.

Even I, in every moment, have to slow down and breath, check my own ‘ intuition’ and realize it is not this reality, it is the marker of my own accepted and allowed information learned without understanding how this all works.

Day 667 The will to sort the unsorted to realize what is eternal, the absolute purpose of life.

Changing, looking away from judgement- a fear of loss. The will to withstand the test of time.

Looking at my mind constructions, I see a pattern. I am using the means of understanding something, as the means to assess, to protect myself from having to stand through upsetting another person, and then moving into an idea that I have no control. I move from the small, as immediate relationships, to the collective- the group. I fear addressing an immediate discrepancy, meaning - as the words I want to use in this moment- balancing out something that is uncomfortable because, by default, it somehow is not stable, meaning clear. Then, I get caught in a dis-quiet that I cannot name- and of course, I cannot name something because I had not sorted it out! So, within the small immediate situations, I have to slow down, breath, and sort things out, and since the beginning of this was never addressed, it means that I do not have the answer within my memory of that action! Hence I can only sort out the unsorted in real time, here. And, I can use what I missed, in a rush in time and space, and ground myself back into the small practical measures that bring me back into a momentum of doing in ways that build a self confidence in directing in real time because I realize that to be present, I have to ground with all things- as in not only being lost in an idea of loss as a construct of the mind- which is the unsorted values of the lack of clarity. This becomes a snake eating its own tale/tail.

Then, when I face a group, I get overwhelmed, because it appears that sorting out the smaller things, is too overwhelming. Those very early movements that were not sorted out, as what lacked a wholistic certainty, or absolute purpose, where absolute purpose was a movement of ease, as in an absence of conflict and friction,  more symbiotic, or rather as a word that resonates in this moment for me, more synergistic/ all encompassing, I have already accepted chaos and by remaining within that unsorted or ungrounded state, become passive.

I think of a child asking why there is war, and the parents saying something like “ because there are bad people in the world” Then the child asking why there are bad people, and the parent saying,” because they do bad things” and the child asking why they do bad things, and the parent saying- perhaps- ‘ because they believe their god is more than our god.” This is a non-answer, this sorts nothing out for a child that has no religion, because children are not born with religion! This is creating this ‘ noun thing’ somewhere that has no definition. This is the onset of a metaphysical construct that lacks any and all practical application. This builds a fear, religion is thus a fear tactic!

This construct, this metaphysical construct, also takes the focus away from the solution, as looking at the details of why people are ‘ bad.”  This non-looking must be of something, because that non-looking is using something to sustain that non-looking! Hence, our memories are pictures and words ( as the practice of mindfulness  suggests that which we understand as thoughts need not define us- a memory that was non-existent when we were born ) and is a composition of the unsorted that becomes the veil of seeing only the lack that was never addressed! Would this not slow the cognitive ability of a child down by the third grade? Would this not accumulate until, as adults, we had a harder time learning new things? The unsorted, the non-clarified becomes the wall of separation from a natural ability to assess and come up with new ways of doing things, which men can do so well when present and at ease- meaning not moving as a survival race/game/ideology.

As a child, if I faced this when I asked too many questions, this wall in the adult, that was an end game of blame without clarification and that object of justification for the unsorted. Myself not having any religion, and having to hear this end game again and again, accepting it to survive, which is accepting the unsorted, never having the opportunity to verbally frame the uncertainty of this end game as I was also learning the language,  had I been more verbal, could I as the small child made it through the wall of the unsorted within my parents? No. The race of the mind of unsortedness was much bigger than myself. It is kind of like being Joan of Arc, one voice in a see/sea of unsortedness.

Hence, the unsorted, in my early learning stages would have culminated in an uncertainty, both in being drawn away from a real consistent focus on the practice of real physical living as what I am here, and realizing that I was building a limited measure within as ideas, beliefs and opinions about unsorted things, that would  begin to come to take up so much of my time as my memory imitating the lack of clarity in the adults, that I would get lost in the limited constructions in the process of constructing to the point where I accepted the constructs of the unsorted, the unnamed, and forgotten resolving the initial lack of clarity metaphysical ideas that placed responsibility onto some noun non-existent figure became what and who I was in measure. This is a real mess. It means that memory is constructed and memory is a distraction from reality. Memory is the past event.  So, why do we force learning through memory? It is like building understanding through the past, without using the present. If one’s past is of the ‘ unsorted” to a greater degree would it not cause an inability to function in our present system? And would not this corporate hierarchy that wants to own products to sell for wealth accumulation want the unsorted to not sort out the constructs of the mind? Yet, who is to blame for all of this? Who started this? No one can put this back together again but the self that accepted and allowed this. Yet, this is the fun, because this is being self directive- this sorting out!

What I remember being as a child, is a sense of complete confusion as the main word I would describe myself as back then. In this, I can understand why so many children develop so many fears. Their fears are the unsorted that make no sense. Something that makes no sense gives no stable presence of self responsibility! 

Within this, if the lack of clarity can be followed, it can be seen! It may not have the physical form in density of a tree. Yet, it must have some physical formation otherwise how could I have come to follow it, as in remain in the lack of clarity!? And what focused on that metaphysical construction? It must be lighter than that construct!!!! This means that I can see this! This means that I can sort this out. This means that I can address the limitation and correct it, even when I see this in another. And this means that since this is what I seek, this is what all seek. All seek a way out of the dis-clarity, the con-fused limitation that is a veil, that is metaphysical and more solid than what can move without friction, meaning with ease. That is a huge game changer!

And the thing of this is, that we all have it. This means that we see the lies and the deceptions of our own lack of clarity. This means that no one, not one single hued-man sheathed in a metaphysical character, that screams their personification to maintain that personification, can hide. Why do I say personification, because maintaining that separation of lack, is more work that living in clarity - in the end.  When we know something we are at ease, when we are uncertain and unclear, we are anxious.

For myself, I have to realize where I moved in fear, as in uncertainty, where I accepted the unsorted, the unstable, the impractical, and forgive myself for accepting limitations that became self defining lacks, and bring my presence here, to assess, sort out, and balance my presence to the point where my memory is moving in equality and oneness with all life. I must become equal and one to the physical world.

Nothing is hidden, all can be seen. And, everything can self empower through equality and oneness. The action is to take that which is good and does no harm. The thought, word and deed is to do what is best for all. 

                                     

                                                B-earth Your Self Into Life. Be Present Here.

Day 624 my imaginative perceptive lens of values separating me from the practice of living a physical life.

I had a dream last night where I was kissing someone while here were people all around me. Lately, I have been asking myself how I can connect with people more than I am currently able. In this journey to life, I slow down and look at how I moved myself, what thoughts directed me, that I had impulsed into my physical behavior, and what in turn came to create my personality. This is what I repeated, that because of the way I learn, through spaced repetition, became what I interpreted around me to define me, using a set of values that bordered my existence as my experience, limiting me from connecting. The paranormal fantasy of the imagination, in turn, shows the value system imagery to create the way for me to move forward with the information impulsed into it again and again. I think of the media and how ‘ love’ is impulsed, intimacy being something connected to a relationship more than other kinds of intimacy. I mean, I live here, and am intimate with all life, it is not a one-size-fits-all state of being. When I look at the physical as what I am here, and the same that surrounds me, it is all physical, thus, when I am not of this imagination only, I can become intimate with life, because what surrounds me, is me. The physical world is life, it is creation. The ideological dividends and borders held in check through a systemic design, are the dividing means to occupy attention from what is real, as some wanted to play god, and accumulate wealth to control, instead of realizing the value is being life as the physical. As a matter of course, if we realized the value was life and that life was physical, and became intimate with the physical before imagination, we could order this world into heaven on earth in a short period of time.

If I become intimate with the measure of my own separation into my metaphysical imagination and can share this, then I can use my separation to describe indirectly how I lost self-intimacy with life, with the physical, and connect to this life around me, within my relationships. It is like I share the reflection of the means of my separation.

My dream is an example of how my imagination uses values as what I have accepted to define connection within a very narrow focus, the details of which give no real directive in practice within connection, with being intimate with this reality. The units of measure are of values, limited ones, ones that take a life time to correct, but a short period of time to impulse, so great is our ability as physical beings to take in information. If the information impulsed is of limited measure, creating a warped value system, because the units are not necessarily ‘ bad’ it creates a lack in perception. With investigation of life, as one lives and has to opportunity beyond say sitting in a classroom taking in knowledge and information without practical application or exposure to language, then the opportunity to expand is extremely limited, and since the first years of life are when this ability is most open, before the imagination accumulated enough in-formation to become the play out as the imagination that begins to direct,  the separation because of existing in a situation where thinking and imagining only dominates, this becomes paramount, this whole existing in imagination over reality, this physical world in which one lives. Here, that absorbent ability is mal-formed and causes mis-takes because it has little or very very limited time spent investigating the very means of existence, which is the physical. This is why punishment of lack is a crime, because it is not the action of grounding one’s awareness back into the practical application that gives a directive to the physical, spatially, directives that support what is best for that form as a man. And, ironically, this is why in the special needs community, the practice is to create interventions that ground the child back into the physical. To which I ask myself, in this moment, ‘ will measures of grounding in this community, or are these measures enough to counter the world around the child that are the means of separation from being grounded in thought, word and deed? Probably not. We become, instead, a snake eating its own tale/tail ( imagination that is of a measure of values as some parts made greater than others- the cause of separation from being grounded and stable here).

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place one value in this physical reality as being more than another, and by value here I mean a quality, a measure, a form.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have not seen realized and understood how  what I made a value greater than another value, quality, measure, become what defined me as what I brought forward as imagination causing and accepting a very limited construct as my belief system, separating myself into a intimacy as self that was of a measure that stagnated my own connection to and as life as what I am here as a physical being.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become limited information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from life,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel shame for what I have accepted and allowed, as shame is regret, and is still an idea within and as me, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be shamed of my separation, to let this go and to realize the only choice is to focus myself here, equal and one to and as the physical as this is life information, and within this to investigate this reality, to self empower the gift of life that is me as my common sense to ground myself equal and one here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how the separation in and as me, starts in the family, as the parents are of the same separation and as this, became the measure of myself, where this overall is to forgive, and to investigate myself back into and equal with, this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to life, to use limited values to define who and what I am here, to become the memory of and as this, layered within the waters of my physical body, creating directives that cannot transpose into being life, as practicing respecting physical reality this separation causing mis-takes that accumulate in my flesh that are too big to order into direct seeing and interacting with the practice of what it means to be a physical life information, here and that become a memory occupying myself as my little heaven,  that is really just shadows on the wall of and as my mind, that veil said to need to be removed in some cultures on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize and see, the composition of what 

I  have accepted and allowed, as my imagination, and that this is not what is real, and a limited system of values all charged with emotion and feeling, where what I reject persists because this is what I am not accepting as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that at present my own intimacy as imagination is the picture show of my value accumulation, as what I believe will allow me to survive in a system created by many men that at present is an extension of what I have accepted and allowed within and as me, a system that over all does not value the physical, which means does not value life, as ideas, beliefs and opinions are made greater than the practice of respectful living.

When and as I find myself lacking in the ability to connect with others, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I forgive in spoken word what I have accepted and allowed as value judgements in self interest in fear of losing my own imagination as what I have focused on as being more than life here, and what I believe defines me, and I assess, as investigate what is here, and move in tandem with that which does no harm and takes that which is good as this is what sustains physical reality, the means of myself as life information here.

When and as I find myself  fearing the reaction of limitation as an imagination of some values made huge and other values rejected in fear of losing one value over another, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess what is here, to practice assessing what is here, to practice being flexible and changeable as myself as common sense, to become what can face the unexpected here, as in taking in what is here as the physical to enable myself to direct in ways that do no harm, and realize my own investigative powers with and in every moment here.

Day 616 Allowing pressure to define me. A rage of belief.

Pressure

I notice that I allow myself to believe that I am under pressure to perform. Within this I go into fear, because I go into comparison and then I begin to build beliefs about how things are moving around me. I lose myself in becoming fixed in my definitions within this world, a practical world, a world where we build neurons as we practice the same volume of belief within , again and again instead of remaining here in the practice of the measure of the physical. As I believe so I begin to think because I build my own circular logic about this world and my thinking becomes the logic I accept and allow as my judgementt.

I become what I think about, what I accept and allow. And the gift of life as myself in a physical body responds to my creation as my perspective building. If I am equal to how the physical is creation, then I direct myself here, and see directly that which does no harm.

So, it is so cool that I am this machine that builds itself via my own perception, this means that I can become equal to the practice of living which is a physical living. If I accept and allow something less than what considers the physical in what allows the physical to exist and expand then I am the limitation I create and actually program the machine of myself into an inner entity that cannot move with this living physical world, because life would form itself because this is the practice of being life in expression here. In so many ways it is overall a beautiful design.

Building the within to be equal to the without would be a natural process unless within the process one was distracted from this, as in, if one began to believe that the within defined one more than in being than in equality to the without as this physical world.

Thus the separation from the practice of living becomes evident when mistakes cause consequences that must be addressed and reordered to stabilize the physical. These consequences exist when actions are questioned and responses becomes justifications. Justifications of spite and blame, are being lame, because one is not addressing what was not considered, what was ignored or missed as one directed oneself forward via an entity within as one’s belief. Children do not have this when they are born, it is built as their experience. So much of a child’s experience the child comes to resist, which we see in teen age years as the child begins to order experience over time, and the child decides to do things in a different way, only to find themselves using their maps without understanding how it was constructed in the first place, and as a consequence rebuilding these cognitive structures to become directives that correct sensed limitations. 

It is to say that the measure within must be equal to the measure without as this physical world.

The existent system of supposed democracy touts a good but the financial structure is a form of self interest in gain of money, because money is really the signifier of a belief that that inner construct is more than physical life, where physical life is life in expression. 

I have been following the vaccine debate for a long time. Recently, in this article here, it is expressed that vaccines were created as a means of rent seeking, as a means for making profit. It was realized that the first vaccines really did not work. The immunities were not lifetime immunities. An exposure to the virus over time actually supported the immunity, like reinforcing the immunity. The vaccines were disrupting that naturally occurring immunity, and the vaccine did not address the starting point of the virus, it only tried to eliminate it through immunization.  All the while, children who had healthy diets could withstand viruses. The process of vaccines also entered viruses into  the body against nature. Vaccines attenuated the viruses by forcing the virus into all the cells, whereas the body had a natural process of dealing with the virus as it came into the body, where the virus did not enter all the cells. What happened is that that profit, that desire to create something that brought in money came before what was best for physical reality, for the physical life. It is like a construct that is against life, creating a consequence that can make a profit before doing what is best for the physical beingness.  This, overall, is really self destruction, it is deconstructing the physical world because it is through deconstruction as in moving against nature, that a profit is made. Tear the physical apart and charge money for trying to put it back together again. This is not creation, this is deconstruction for gain, a process that disrespects life in an order of seeking a gain, and then because life was not respected, trying to turn the consequences of this deconstruction all the way down the line into another gain. Slowly but surely, the physical will not be able to be put back together again.

At the moment, there is so much innovation going on, Even in my area, there are groups of people coming together to solve the food-growing problems. This is innovation in food-growing practices that are local. There is also so much innovation in energy creation systems. These things are here, there is still enough movement and the natural ingenuity of men to look and solve problems creating efficient systems that support all life in ways that, at this point, do little harm to the environment. The problem is that the money to build these things is not here, or so little that these innovations have a really hard time manifesting. And the consequences of not respecting the physical demand time and effort to correct. So all the things are going on at the same time, while behind these scenes there are laws and efforts happening to control water, for example, because that belief, that movement of gain in self interest remains and it has control of how money moves. Unless we all, the many, where the real power is, decide to change the form of the flow of money, to allow all this innovation to develop. Also, the money must flow in more equitable and consistent ways, to stop the competition point, because what is best overall must be the voice, and this needs the fear of survival to be removed.

When I go into spite and blame, it manifests as impatience and a short temper. The voices in my mind become thoughts of justification and I become distracted from reality, I have left the moment that is here. I am following knowledge and information about all of this instead of remaining here, paying attention to the only thing I can attend to which is myself in the space and time of here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to respect the actual real physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I begin to have back chat of blame and spite, my behavior in real time becomes short fused, short tempered and I separate myself from moving here, equal and one in breath with the moment here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and a s I become short tempered as in not being patient and humble, slowing down and moving equal and one to the measure of here using my breath to regulate the focus of myself here, I separate from walking the measure of here back into what is best for all, as what does no harm and what takes the time to consider all things, to investigate myself as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become thankful for myself as life, this machine as my human physical body here, and to realize that the value is simply being here, as life, as life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become blame and spite, where I separate from the practice of living as a physical state of being as this is life information, and to instead of reactions based on belief, opinion and idea as the mental constructions I have practiced again and again as belief, building neurons that hold that movement as me as directives I have accepted and allowed, to within this realize that I have been given the gift of life, and to use this to see, realize and understand where I have built a belief system in separation from practical reality, from the practice of living as a physical expression of life, here as life would be, and to use this recording I have allowed that is in separation from living to redirect myself, to practice this again and again, to rebuild a mental construction equal to and in respect of physical reality, as physical reality is the means and the way of creation in all common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand in every moment that when I allow limited knowledge and information, or knowledge and information to become that which I respect only, I separate myself from the gift of life as the physical, a world that reveals the measure of creation all around me, even what has been accepted and allowed that is not equal in respect to living, and as such, i can slow myself down, investigate with every breath, in every moment that which takes that which is good and does no harm, thus respecting life, to create a world that is best for all here.

When and as I find myself becoming overwhelmed with being here, moving into behaviors that hide and spite, blame and manipulate in self interest, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand what I have accepted and allowed, what I am accepting and allowing,  that is not respecting this moment of physical creation, and I stop, I slow down, I breath, I check what I am allowing as thoughts, as the words of my own belief system construction, and I reassess, through investigating my own investments as belief, and the actual real practice of physical living here, and I breath, grounding myself here, cross referencing reality as the physical and the limitations of belief that have accumulated over time to the point where they are believed to be truths, so in every moment I regard and respect the  within and without with every breath, and I take that which is good and does no harm, and I respect that which builds a world that is best for all.

When and as I find myself becoming impatient, short tempered, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that which describes what is here as physical reality and how physical reality actually functions in men as how knowledge and information creates mind constructions that then determine actions, as is understood by science and the business model where what one practices again and again as belief becomes the mental system of thought as the projections of self determining the actions of self here, and thus, I see, realize and understand that what I believe as knowledge and information is what I become and as this, I can slow down, breath, ground myself here in this moment, and cross reference reality,as  investigate reality, to see, realize and understand that which is best for all, as that which considers all things, as signs of life in expression as the physical, and thus that which does no harm.

When and as I find myself becoming short tempered, as in losing patience, as in reaction to here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself within the practice of living here, to become a measure of consideration for all things, to build an understanding within as the very neurological programming of myself as life being equal and one in respect of the practice and gift of living as an expression of life information of which the physical is and does, as the physical is creation in doinginess, here.

When and as I  find myself believing that I am a mistake, and as such unworthy of life, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that the past does not define me, and that the past as a construct of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as knowledge and information that I have accepted and allowed to become a self definition and so,  I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that which is a measure of respecting physical living which is creation in the practice of expressing life, and I review my self accepted and allowed mental construction as the ordering of myself , and I assess, respect and align the presence of myself here, to build myself in respect of the value being life here.

Day 615 The Circulation of Blame is Self as Life in Abdication.

http://www.nationofchange.org/2015/04/03/states-fail-to-properly-manage-fracking-waste-says-groundbreaking-report/

The circulation of blame.

How is it that we fail to manage what is here on this earth as physical things that are how we exist here, because without them, without the management of this physical reality, in ways that do no harm, we can create environments that allow each to reach their full potential.

As we can see with fracking , we are not managing our environment in ways that do no harm, and the consequences of our actions, that we allow by a state of default through ignoring what is happening in circles of activity that are not in our immediate environment,  we are not being responsible for being aware of what actions and orders  are made and taken by those we have placed into positions to manage the resources as how we use what is here on this earth to take care of the parts within the whole of the physical means as what we are here.

The structures of responsibility we have each acquiesced to,  as our current system, are not in practice taking care of this earth. Fracking is one of a number of consequences of this abdication of responsibility. Instead of realizing that our financial orders/design/system is determining actions by those who are standing in positions of being responsible within a broader spectrum as in a point of ordering larger measures of moving resources around, are not moving the gains from such orders and measures as money around in ways that circulate that wealth created physically, is creating all measure of lack on the ground, where the behaviors of the human machine are in a lack of order and as such emotionally reactive, because the opportunity to program the machine as the human into a structural soundness is denied. This is two fold, because this allows some to play god, and can be used as a distraction where the object in lack is blamed for its own lack.

Thus what circulates is of the action of blaming the lack without looking at and resolving that state of lack.

I notice, as in this article, that what is circulating more than order and organization, is the action of blaming the next level in this hierarchy that is the consequence of lack in development, lack in fine tuning the machine of men. A machine that can absorb what is presented evident in feral children, who absorb the sensitivity of their host with great aptitude. Look at a child raised by wolves, they move like wolves, they begin to sense like wolves, because this is the gift of life, to take in the world around it, done with a self that has the capacity to move through the eye of the needle, which means to sense form and structure and movement, which means to be able to sense all dimensions of physical reality. This is the gift of life, and the gift of creation, the physical is the means to express life. The act of blame, is the act of denial of life, it is self rejecting life, thus there is no one to blame but ourselves, because we accepted and allowed a rejection of what we are, which is life. 

And the irony is that we seek that which we reject. If I look at the ever present sexual impulsing around us, and the constant every-seven-seconds referrals to sex, this reference to physical activity is self seeking through idea that is connected to what is sought, which is the physical grounding that enables one to be, which is life. So, we are aware of the answer, it is right in front of us, we have just separated into imagination only, and tie a truth into a story all charged with emotional highs. The ghosts in our machines as our personalities are entities of separation from practical reality, and we seek equality to practical reality, because this is where we would find stability and the means to direct ourselves in fulfilling ways. The veil is really very very thin, and the answer is always right in front of us.

In the fracking world, the blame moves around, circulates, hidden in a one-way limited presentation. Each part saying it is the next structure in the circle’s fault. And the blame moves around and around, and we get caught in the entertainment of it, using our ability to speak and express ourselves in this circular logic that is so busy blaming nothing changes, and meanwhile our rivers become more and more clogged and our forests diminish and out air becomes heavy with the remains of extraction and processing of raw materials to build a technology that is in no measure equal to that from which it was extracted in terms of forming a world that enables life. What we are doing is harming this planet, we are not taking care of it. It is to say that the wool on the sheep served its purpose on that sheep more completely that it ever did away from that sheep.

Why not come back down to earth, to the physical and work together to support this physical life world? If we can move seeds around, why not equalize to the physical and move cells around, which would need many parts working together, which would employ all the sense of men, of all parts, which would focus one in full measure which would fulfill all sense which would be a state of joy, a state of awareness which is the real point, because this is living. It is only the idea of the picture show as being the imagination only as being caught up in the head/mind only that has caused the separation creating the blame game that is circulating on this earth and destroying the means of life, which is the physical. It all makes sense, one broken/fractured record/recording as the mind, as belief, opinion and idea, is the limitation. We have made an idol of the imagination and are refusing to give up our mental constructs because we believe that this is what defines us, when what defines us is what we create, what we manifest physically, because the physical is the manifestation of life and what we do with it determines our sensory experience, and life would be a manifestation to show us to ourselves what works and what does not work. How cool is that? We need only accept it.

We are life, and as this we can circulate to understand the parts that make up the manifestation of life, as our feral children reveal to us, and we can then put an end to a circulating blame in a delusional belief that our minds are minds are more than another which is manifested without as a movement that we can accumulate wealth as money. This kind of accumulation is making an idea as a picture show in our imaginations larger than reality and the consequences of this are moving the physical world into non-existence because a picture in the mind is a separation into a limited formation. It is not being interactive with equalizing to what creates a physical self sustaining formation that considers the practice of respecting and working with creation.  We cannot be allowed access to being creators until we leave nothing behind, which means to respect and consider all things and move in ways that transform with understanding.

Therefor, instead of blame, we look at the parts and the whole, and order that which does no harm, that which respects physical existence. 

Because of the consequences of our separation, the ways and the means to stabilize is to order ourselves here,  to slow down, to have some space to breath, to then move from fear of death into looking at reality as the physical here and what we have done, and then to begin to order this existence in ways that do no harm to anything. To realize that our forests create oxygen, to realize that our rivers and streams move nutrients around, and can temper the climate like a giant heating system, that the veins and neuron streams within our bodies move nutrients and build a sense of how the physical works. These must be cleared and flowing, because this is the way and the means of being physical expressions of life and that this is using our sensibility to its utmost potential which is what we all seek.

It is time to end the circulation of blame as a drama in the mind, moving through as an inner superimposed likeness-and -image of our separation, mimicked outwardly as our media flowing through devices made from extracting resources that are this physical existential means of life as this earth and forcing the physical manifestation of life as the physical into inferior devices of communication that mimic what hued men we have become and allowed, and to use this that is the signature of our separation to reground us back into what is creation as life in formation which is the physical world, to become the response of ourselves as life. This is to realize equality and oneness to life, this is where we will find stability and fulfillment because this is using the sense of all that we are as physical beingness. 

Do we want blame to circulate, or do we want life? We decide. It is time to stand as what would segue into life,  to ground oneself here.

Walk the steps to end the circulation of blame within, seemingly so real because it is all we each have allowed ourselves to hear as the voices in and as our minds. We have allowed this to become huge, and as such is the veil that we exist as. It consumes our flesh as something must support it! Walk the process of self forgiveness, become a master of self, to reorder one’s self out of the mind only, and ground one’s self back into creation manifest, as this actual physical existence.

Listen to the Eqafe interviews, they explain the process of our separation, and the way back into becoming equal to life, begin to circulate with common sense, it is far less burdensome and a far more fulfilling state of being.

Day 589 Who am I within the culture of women. Day 4 Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

This is a point of projecting value judgements onto situations and the objects outside of me as those involved in the situations that are actually normal interactions I must walk logistically in space and time. All of this is a form of protection and self defense based on a self definition used to survive instead of being grounded in  practical reality. I allow myself to become a measure of my own judgement, a burden I carry, a burden I created, a burden I allowed, one that is stagnant because it does not look at cause and effect,  consequential outflows practically. Thus, it is time for me  to remove my own reaction to this and stand within what, in comparison, would be a brutal self honesty. Problems, as conflicts and friction, are resistances to a movement that is self being responsive in consideration of being a physical expression as what I am in reality here. I am becoming a very limited perspectives that is by its limitation a split from remaining in common sense of reality. This entails, practically being what removes emotional defining values, and places oneself , feet on the ground, here in physical reality because this is where we actualize ourselves, this is where we eat, and we breath, and we live and see our children become physical adults. 

Because humans have accepted and allowed an inner measure to become one of value judgements instead of accepting physical formation as what life would be, which is an aid to see our creation, our state of beingness, we have created a gap from reality, one that consumes creation as it does not consider the means of what builds a form that allows the very platform of life. We need the physical to see what manifests and to understand what works and what does not. When we ignore the physical, and ignore what is an inconvenience, because we base what is real on idea without cross reference and practical application of an idea, we destroy what has the ability to sustain and as such withstand the test of time. The only way to create a stable existence is for each to become self responsible, to become responsible to the physical, to respect it, to always consider it with every move we make. And the irony is that focusing here, on what is real, is how to live the fulfillment of life, it is what would bring joy, it is actual living, meaning it is to act as life in answer to the form of what and who we are in reality, here. There is no other choice, and it is the voice of what is best for all. It is the most beautiful choice - so to speak. It is what we all long for the most. Self forgiveness, and writing and practical application is the way to remove the complicated, and to become life. It is the way to clean up the storm of separation spiraling out of control within. It has always been here right in front of us, we need only accept it and accept the gift of life, the joy of life, which is to accept the physical as the foundational manifestation of life. And to realize that men have imposed so many value judgements on the physical that over time it has influenced reality and is destroying it, as inequality to life, is separation from life, and cannot sustain life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of self interest, not allowing myself as life to express myself, to be responsible for and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project value judgements onto others without taking the time and space, as using myself as life, as the gift of life, to investigate and consider all things, which is to respect the physical, which is to focus here, practically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have no responsibility as life, as I have accepted and allowed myself as value judgements to exist within a bubble of my own imagination to be more than another, to be more than what is here as the way and the means of life, which is the physical, in substance, where I allowed my own self inner rests of spite and blame, justification without practical application to determine what and who I am, and thereby separating myself from life, and as such from solution , from allowing the fulfillment of life as what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project values of good and bad, right and wrong onto others, as this has no practical application into solution, into understanding of what is here practically as the physical, and resolving uncertainty and insecurity as fear of loss, into what is directive as what is self honest in aligning myself here, with the physical and investigating what does no harm, as this is what sustains and respects the physical world here, and is what leads to understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts that someone is doing something to me, and to realize that nothing defines me but what I accept and allow, and even if a definition as a criticism comes, to understand that this is evaluation and examination, and could be me in a moment, but does not remain as such as I as life can change in taking responsibility for who and what I am and walking the practical application into self awareness, as in becoming aware of the physical, with every breath, considering here as me, as what is here is me in another life form, thus to do what I would want for myself as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something is being done to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am inferior to here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am superior to what is here, even if I happen to have walked into some understanding of some aspects of the physical that others may not have, as the only choice as life, is to give to another as what one would want for themselves, as this is a movement of respect for and as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the harm value judgements do to my human physical body, as I constrict and hide, within, as I allow an inferiority to life, as value judgements to spin within and as me, separating myself from creation, from being equal and one as movement of creating, which is to accept life as the physical and assess, as to investigate and consider all things to ensure that awareness in practical common sense actions are what is lived, thereby giving the gift of self discovery and as such the development of self responsibility, which each must take for themselves, which is to simply accept self as life, as the value being life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that becoming responsible is impossible, realizing that I have accepted and allowed, over time, myself to blame and spite, to fear and recoil, to move as  value judgements and as such stopping this and changing the directive of myself, using breath, and self forgiveness, will take some time, to turn the tide of my imagination and to within this, stop and look at what I have accepted and allowed, to then acknowledge this and reconstruct with directives that are what is best for all, to become an act that considers all life as the physical as practical actions that slow down and consider equality and oneness with and as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I as life, am the substance that can consider form and function here, and as such sense what is here, and see directly, taking time to investigate and cross reference, to also realize that nothing will be lost and everything gained, in considering the physical within and as the principle of what is best for all here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity myself for what I have accepted and allowed as this has no real practical application into solution as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide in shame, as this has no practical application within standing and living equal and one to and as life here, which is to realize and respect what does no harm, as that which takes that which is good, and supports life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my own common sense, as the expression of life, as me, here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotional feeling bodies built of past experiences to define me here.

When and as I find myself projecting value judgements I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I stand here, in this moment, to ground myself here, to bring value judgements back to self, and to forgive, and to move into respect as consideration of all things, as I am the perfect machine as life to be and do such.

When and as I find myself , within this process of realizing myself as mind as having accepted and allowed a separation from equal consideration of physical existence, I stop and I breath, and I forgive such projections, imagination, fantasies, inner realities, and I slow way down, and cross reference, which is to cross examine with and as the physical in common sense as this is me, and I evaluate, and consider form and function, not only based on knowledge and information only, as what has been taught and I relate how knowledge and information actually practically directs here, to see, realize and understand what makes no sense, as what is not being considered as nothing can be left behind, as nothing can be allowed to become an externality, as nothing can be allowed to be eliminated through a mathematical manipulation of numbers through the use of a mean.

When and as I find myself facing a false dilemma, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, to see, realize and understand where I am not equal and one in practical consideration of reality, which is a process of closing the gap of separation from myself as life into and as actions that cause no harm, taking that which is good, here.

When and as I find myself believing something to be impossible as in taking too much time, having too many steps, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that I am competing with a focus on an idea that is not myself here walking in practical common sense of physical reality.

When and as I find myself fearing that something can be lost, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I realize that nothing can be lost, unless I accept and allow this as mind, as idea, as belief, as opinion, as I am here, able to see directly as practical reality, as the structure of how actions can support life.

When and as I find myself facing friction and conflict as the bully of fear of loss, as the voice of blame and spite, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I here the imaginations, the projections , the fantasies as the words used to describe such and the lack of words as what is not considered, and I take the parts of and as this, and I realize the form with empathy, and that this cannot define me unless I accept and allow it, which I can realize within and as me as a movement of taking such personally as an accepted and habituated reaction and I stop, I slow way down, I breath, until I am stable, as I do not allow bullets of value judgements in protection and self defense as my awareness, and I stop, I accept myself as life, as being responsible, as coming back to myself, grounding myself here, and cross referencing reality, the physical, to investigate through assessing the practical which means to examine the details, and evaluate possible actions and the play-outs of movement through looking at what is here in detail, which is an act of sharing here, to build understanding and to give self discovery as what I would want for myself, as this is the process of becoming equal and one as living the principle of what is best for all in thought word and deed.

Day 581 The gift of Self Forgiveness

I notice as I step out and talk with people that I have so often not listened to the words the other speaks, as I have allowed myself to judge them based on how they dress, the way in which they use their words, the mannerisms they move as while they speak.

I can become so occupied with their physical mannerisms and the way they use their words, and the way they dress that I do not pay attention to the words they are using. Meaning I am not paying attention to the words in such a way that I look at where they are coming from, as in where they are in their ability to express themselves, which is their reflection of understanding of the world in which they live, a physical world..

To “ listen” through what is being said where I look to that which is sorting through various layers of constructs used to present themselves in and as , I have to slow way down and listen to more than what is projected outward.

If my own reactions come up, than I am lost, and chaos ensures, nothing really being resolved. Later, I go back and try to see where I lost a connection, where I lost focus and went into judgement , because this is really what I have done: gone into judgement, which is comparison based on values - limited ones at that, all of which is moving into inferiority in relation to physical existence - HUEmans are filled with color, and that color is not in common sense of the physical practical reality.. Normally, within this paranormal imaginative scenario,  I would then use more justification in addressing feeling lousy by comparison ( jealousy) to make myself believe that I am superior and that the disconnect was the fault of the other which is becoming spiteful and vindictive. The fault does not remain with the other, as what has been the lack of connection is an acceptance of non-understanding, as an acceptance of an idea about how and why something us, without really looking at what it would mean to move in ways that allow physical reality to function, especially in an age where all educational research says that the more words we know, the more capable we are as people, as we have the means to construct understanding and focusability on and  about things to enable us to connect with others and become directive in common sense ways.  .

Ironically we learn to use our imaginations not in the order of communicating with one another, to be able to hold a construct of another as the words they use to become equal in understanding, instead we develop imagination to hold fantasies and then run around and compare these and judge them, like a fashion. I mean, even within this we are divided, as we separate into factions of imagination, as some are bound by fashion only, or reading books only, etc. etc. and then within this we remain within very limited frameworks, so busy - like an imagination that buzzes with our occupations ( that are not “ bad” per say, but limited) that we no longer realize the imagery projection is a superstition, a paranormal event, that can be used to allow connection and cross reference, so that we understand one another and work in ways that allow the physical life we exist as to flow creatively with ease, as this is how life should be.

But, at present, humans are as what we manifest, which is conflict and violence and war, raping the physical world in order to stand as a winner saying , my imagination picture show is more than yours. We do/allow this to such an extent that anything that does not support this picture show as mind, is less than we are, is less than worthy of life. And, we blame that which is not “ dressed up” as mental imagery as us as being in a state of lack, where we then play an end game, so caught in competition/comparison that moving into what solves conflict/separation is not considered.  This is a game that has an outcome of destroying the means of creation, where we will end up looking back and realizing we turned everything into dust instead of really being creation, instead of really being life.

And, yes this varies, but it also explains the separation and the disconnect as each individual person on the ground and the consequence of a few pissing their beliefs all over the media, to sustain their ideological imaginative constructions. So, what they are doing is what we are all doing.

So, in order for me to become the very change I speak of, I have to slow way down and really begin to listen to others. This means, becoming humble towards what another says. It means as someone once said, “ walking through the valley of the shadow of good and evil.” not fearing, not reacting, not rejecting or accepting, but in essence listening, hearing the very sound of the person, and the sparks of separation being projected outward that cannot harm me, ( most of the time as those in Gaza, the children especially, cannot escape)  unless I accept and allow them to become more than what is practically here, as the physical from which the imaginative abstract as mind is built onto. In breath, I can remain here, and become aware of more than the ideological picture show as my mind, fanned into existence through my own separation from common sense. And common sense is the real natural state of myself when I am accepting of the physical, as in moving with the physical in ways that do not harm, as it pays attention to physical reality, and realizes that belief, opinion are constructs of the imagination, here. 

I move, in every breath, in self forgiveness of what separations I have accepted and allowed as mind, these parts not to be judged, but brought back down to earth, to allow myself to become the gift of life, which is a self forgiveness in accepting the physical as me, in common sense of all life, which is to be here, as I as a physical life in expression can only live here. Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a mind construction to become more than life itself,  life being which includes all that is here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as life to walk with the physical as being equal and one with and as me, as what I am, the eye-of-the-needle to become equal and one with and as life, to build heaven on earth, as life should be.