PETRIfication and changeability What is a structural resonance? Day 800

Petrification and changeability

One of the things I notice, especially in talking with people, is interest yet also, a sense of an inability to move, as in take the next step into following through. This would suggest, that an ability to realize is inherent, and yet that ability to change has a form of petrification. Anxiety is a busyness in itself, within consuming the attention, as it has the nature of being insistent. I mean, when one master’s something effectively, one’s ability to generate, has a more consistent quality to it, which feeds upon itself, and allows growth and faith in one’s ability. When one has the opposite, as a practice of being anxious, as having an insistent voice of and as “ what if?” what becomes the echoing voice within? What becomes of the resistance to actual doing that is that voice of and as “ what if?” ? Can such a culture of fear cause a resonant wall of belief that interrupts and petrifies?  One is able to see and yet, because things tend to automate, especially if we forget how this works, we have a resonant discord in terms of being focused and of that which leads to real mastery of something.

In research in children who do well in school, and those who do not, it is understood that the parents of a child do not need to have a degree in higher education for a child to do well in school. This is because the parents can walk the information with the child and learn with the child. This means that adults can learn as they are adults. This means that when one does not know something, be it in the form of knowledge and information only, or real understanding that comes with application, it is because it has not been walked, and yet, as research in education reveals, and as  stated above, parents need not have that higher degree for their children to do well in our current form of child education. This is also something that would embarrass many parents, because it places greater responsibility onto the parents. I am surprised that this is not something shared with parents by teachers in a consistent and constant voice. After all, how do television commercials work? They repeat, again and again. If anything, given this understanding, it is also the responsibility of teachers to realize this in word, again and again towards parents. 

Back to petrification. After all, if a parent is not doing this well understood and researched MEASURE, that makes sense because ultimately, things are built; understanding is built just as learning to crawl is something built, that things are built, what is built comes from both sides of behavior. If a behavior of insecurity continues, and is repeated, it is essentially practiced. If a behavior of careful and consistent movement within a discipline is practiced, with care, then one masters that skill. In essence, one is still within both scenarios, practicing the building of a skill set. That skill set is either of fear, as all the “ what if’s” or of the measure that lends effective self generation ! To believe that one does not have discipline, one actually is always disciplined, because one is practicing something, some measure, some idea, some value, some belief, some form. When one does that again and again and again, it is a practice, because this is how things work. In other words, as who and what we are we are practicing SOMETHING. This is also why we tend to blame ourselves, as in all hate is self hate, because we essentially understand in a kind of hazy forgotten way, that what we do, what we move as within, or without, is our practice, is how we have disciplined ourselves, is what we have chosen to be a disciple of! Thus, an inability to change, a resistance to change, can be a state of petrification because what we have practiced and/or repeated as a form as words and ideas within ourselves, layering this as a practice that builds a discipline, can either be of beliefs that limit movement of insights that lend a greater ability to flow with and change, and realize the awesomeness of real building, utilizing how we work for better behaviors which, in this context, would reflect as a greater ability to change because this is understood. If one is caught in limiting beliefs, that can become a resonant wall that petrifies one’s ability to be that parent without a higher level of education actually walking with the child, making sure they build an effective understanding to the degree that child can self generate with confidence. 

Thus, when I face a client, for example, and that client appears to agree, yet with time they appear to not move, what is it that hinders this movement, but an inner built resonant series of repeated beliefs that are causing a form of petrification in relation to living what is understood as a parent not needing to already have information within them, or understanding or insight, because they can grow and learn with the child and that this growing and expanding, is repeating in a disciplined way, something other than perhaps beliefs that have been repeated within again and again with a lack of understanding how this all works. It is incredible that in the research in teaching children to read, all of this is made visible in what findings that research contains! 

I have been in a school situation, where a boy that came from a home life that lacked attention that child needed and wanted. This boy would, when it came time to read, become so frustrated he tended to use violence towards objects to express his shear frustration at not being able to read. It was unfortunately out of control. Yet, this behavior was a loud voice and a practiced behavior for this boy. He had not managed to get beyond that mood or tone of expression. And, the very form of our public schools are not meant to be that for him. They are a direct instruction model, they are not meant to be the one on one model, because that is costly. Also, just as with animals, once a practice, as a discipline has repeated to the extent it becomes the master of the child, just as effective discipline becomes a mastery of a human, it takes an incredible effort to change that behavior because it is understood that it is more difficult to correct a mistake than it is to learn something correctly in the first place. That behavior can become a form of inner petrification, in that changing it appears to not be an option, yet, with great effort, it can happen. Who ultimately spends most of their time with children and are responsible for that child, but the parent? And, since education is the most important thing, it would make sense in our current money system it is the most expensive thing! And yet, it can be the easiest thing because a parent can walk with a child and build understanding with the child! I can see where there would be so many many justifications coming up in relation to these simple facts that are in our research. This can become such a wall of resistance to what is actually very natural! It means we as humans have great power, what is lacking is to accept this power and take self responsibility! Thus, what is petrification but a fear of taking self responsibility? It all narrows down to fear. 

What is the way out of fear? It is to use one’s discipline which one is using at all times, and to ensure that one directs one’s discipline into building effective understanding of the information that is this physical and practical reality right here, right in front of us as this physical LIVING reality. 

Look at the well known statement of and as trying to get a man to look at information that would take away his salary because it would mean that the means of that man making in income would end, is a form of a fear of change. It is a form of being frozen in a set body of information, one that has been practiced again and again, one that has been through discipline, what that man believes. Thus, when new information comes along, that moves against that resonant blue print of information, that resonant body as the projection of information about something, that is used to direct that man, will ignore, spite, criticize, reject, attack, belittle in many ways, even hiding from that which upsets that inner resonant belief system. This is a form of rejection based on a fear. That boy who cannot read, he is acting out a practice perhaps allowed too many times, and without proper support that cannot be given by a school, to the extent what happens as the self direction is that of that lack expressing itself in violent form. It is the same, one is simply more manifested in reality in a different way. What humans tend to do is justify one action as not being as bad as another, this in itself a means of distracting from addressing the real issue- which is a form of gossip. Project the name of the problem out there, create a discussion around naming that thing ONLY, and time goes by and it is time to leave - this being a form of escape. Even been to a meeting and it appears there is someone there to bring forward a good, and extend that presentation throughout the timeline of the meeting so that what really needs to be addressed does not happen? Where does the statement that a man will not interact with information that threatens their job come from? One can become a master of FEAR, as this is really what this is, it is living being a master of fear. The terms, if one turns the word FEAR into an acronym  is Fear Everything And Run of Face Everything And Rise! We all have the responsibility to be that parent, the one who lacks understanding and yet, sits down and builds a correct discipline because in essence we are doing the same no matter which direction we allow. 

Petrification is being caught in a petri dish of information that one has practiced again and again and again, which is being disciplined!  Behaviors of that limited discipline in ignoring what is here as this living world around us, can accumulate and build into a resisting resonance called behavior. This is why, someone wrote a fairy tale about an egg that falls off a wall, where all the men around us cannot put that egg back together again. Which discipline has been the practice of you? And yet, this makes it clear that this was built, which means it can be un-scattered and rebuilt in simple ways  using the same that built it, a step by step consistent practice over time, until a change happens, which it will, because this is how this works. 

What is a VIRUS FREE MIND ? 

Interference Theory Day 758

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

This is a quote I found that I realize describes a mind consciousness system. It describes that we can hold a resonant story of information. It describes that we can carry past movements, or pictures within and as us, that can then become an interference with being focused and present in the practical. It does slow down learning, as learning. Children in their first seven years learn more rabidly. This begins to slow down by the third grade.  IN all of this, what is described by destine is mapped out in our behaviors in and as other areas. we simply do not realize the depth of this and what this means overall. As a mind consciousness, as a individual ‘ heaven’ we lose sight of what is real, how we work and the consequences of not realizing how we work.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an older adult in my world. They recited some knowledge and information about various people in the world. Meaning, recited information about one race being more intelligent than another, by some measurable standards based on an ability to process information. After all, one can accumulate a somewhat correct structure within as knowledge and information about something and be creative within that, yet is the consequences of that formation harm anything in the physical world then it is not complete, yet within separation as social circles, absent of consequences, they will not see the consequences of their actions, that many appear to be solutions. Sometimes solutions are cool as a segue, yet such options must be available for all, as a benefit, if they are only for a few, at the expense of others, then it is a good that is not being given to everyone. This is unacceptable.

Within this, this idea that one race is more than another, what is forgotten is that that group that may have a greater ability to assess more information and appear to be more productive, what is not brought forward and recognized is how such a division has happened. I went to this talk a man gave about having been interested in a really old excavation in Turkey. The foundational remnants of the buildings were of an old race of people who evidently, according to the documentation found, had a non war-like society. They had a more equitable society. This man was looking for examples of this in the world, in his search for such a way of living.  I ask myself, within what is understood in education, that opportunity breeds capacity, that if a race allows this in the people. within a more equitable society, would that race over time, be in general a more capable people? Just as there is  a war on for the mind, done with information flow, creating a resonant memory as a interference of real presence and focus on reality, would there be a competition to eliminate whole races if another race wanted to dominate the world, that being an understanding that the human form, the physical form, just as animals can also learn when given opportunity, can accumulate as a collective an ability to remain in what is natural and live in greater equality to reality and therefor be more productive, allowing all opportunity for the general good understanding the whole is as good as the parts? And, that the more developed this is the greater the capacity of the group, this group of men, that have allowed this become a threat to other groups that have as a collective allowed the collective belief system as a collective ego want to destroy that more equitable structured people, because that is a threat to their personal storied belief system?  And yet, this means that each and all men can form a ore perfect union even within our differences, because differing environments create different actions as the world is at present in climate. It is amazing how the media can create a busy-ness within a narrow focus between two things that cannot be divided as they are quantumly both needed in development. Remember, one cannot learn to play the violin by mastering the parts individually in isolation, it is a progressive building in awareness of all the parts working together that fine tunes each individual part. 

In understanding this , to suggest that one is more than another as a fixed idea is the same as one does individually within comparison of another person. The collective in-structions of a group, simply reveal the math of their ideas, and how when that does not fit into reality via actions that are causing harm, means that what has been allowed to inform them , as direct them, is an interference with what and who they are as human beings. Within this, we can begin to realize that the media is not imparting information that is best for all, that lends an opportunity for each to self realize in ways, and by extension develop clear resonances that inform the next generation towards being effective in their movements and actions that have respect for the practical and physical world. The war on information, is in itself, an expression of separation from practical reality. It is a storm in a televised ‘ tea cup’ that is in itself a distraction as an interference from reality, from the life around us. 

We need only look at the increase in cognitive dissonance in our children, given names under a general heading as “ attention deficit dis-orders.” Cognitive dissonance is a state of being in a lie, it means one is lying, it is confusion, it is the acceptance of limited story, causing a non-fit into the practical. It is a transfer bias of a limited story as confusion is caused through a mis-information of what is real. This becomes a separation from reality, and interrupts learning and builds a me-more-y that is a false positive.  I mean, in reality, by comparison, we no longer have apprenticeships, where a person can go and live something. 

I understand that the Russians evidently projected the resonance of a frog onto some kind of fish eggs, or some other egg. The outcome was evidently that the eggs became frogs. Within this, I remember years ago reading about how a plant that is a relative of a native plant when planted in the area of a its relatives that are more indigenous, that plant will revert back to the native plant. I planted some Japanese lettuce that was very bitter, and that came back the next year without me having to plant seeds. This lettuce that tasted somewhat like dandelions, eventually became just like dandelions. Of course, someone could say the local dandelions took over, but I am not so sure, the leaves are somewhat different, as dandelions can have different leave shapes; some are more round and some have more spikes shaped leaves. The point being, that what resonates influences us, and that what is more of a balance, will eventually become what is in the environment. To not allow this, one must continually push contrary information. Thus, this is information that is counter to what is balanced and normal and able to be held consistently without causing a state of interference, visible in one’s ability, or lack of ability, to process information.  In effect, the existence of an interference within processing information with ease, as the reality and what is within one as a mind construct of mis-information as not the real story, is a transfer memory of information that both slows down learning/absorbing information and  memory performance. 

One need only look at taking tests in school, and all the anxiety within that, and the stress, to realize that one was caught in memorizing a construct of information that hindered processing and caused a memory of friction and personal conflict. It is all here, simple and practical, and hidden in plain sight. We, each are allowing this, and we must realize this, forgive ourselves, and bring our heavens of and as mis-information, to allow us to balance out equal and one to the real, living physical reality called life as this planet earth. 

Thank you for reading. 

The process of integrating information, or the unfolding of seeing directly- pulling strings of information Day 725

What does it mean to integrate something, to the point where the structure is so clear it is a reciprocity of reality? How is that process of intimacy? What are the stages?

What I have noticed within playing the violin is that I integrate with practice, and if I focus directly and familiarize myself with the new movement/form/structure/insight it becomes a part of me. There is a moment before integration, where it remains separate, as not yet automated, meaning I can move through the structure or understanding with ease, to the point where I no longer think about it, or, have to recognize its name, where that point of acknowledgement has not resistances as the new insight into creation, or what is here, is accepted in a clear way. A process that moves faster when no resistances of judgement happen. Usually, this means that I could explain this to a 6 year old. The understanding of the thing is such that I can ‘ build’ a stable and steady outline of it- which is almost like creating an entity to be passed on. Ironically, there appears to me to be a point where within learning something new, before it integrates it becomes like an entity, appearing to be a thing in separation from me, yet it is myself building understanding before integration- which could be called automation. This fits, when I realize the degree of violence in a person is equal to the lack of clear structure or direct seeing. Violence can be considered to be resistance.

As I become more aware of what I accept and allow, and write out the patterns of my resistances and as what I moralize as good and bad, I see my own self created entities that I have allowed to define me, exist as projections within me, as the information that is me and as what I use to direct myself, is realized with greater intimacy as who and what I am/have allowed.

Within this process, lately, while interacting with others, it is as though I hear what the person is going to speak before they speak, as though in having practiced deconstructing my own entries of information/memory/value system of a limited morality composed of projections as resistances of what negate values counter to what I have chosen to define me, I find that I am perhaps entering a phase where I can call such structures out by name in others.

This can appear, overall, to be a state of becoming stagnant, yet in a way, it is the train slowing down and reversing itself. In that turn, it can appear to be chaos, as one transforms from one direction of default into something new. Even though, within this, not realizing how we work, and standing within a pillar of what is eternal, can cause mis-understanding in so many ways, as the process of pulling on one’s strings of beliefs/morality can so easily become unbalanced. It is to listen within principle of self directing within what is best for all. I can imagine to some degree that if one can stand within what is eternal, it would be exposing, as holding that, to the point where there is no hiding, there is no running away, because that would be the so-called ‘ brightest light’. This overall, would move within such a subtle unfolding, it would, from my point at the moment, appear to be difficult, yet it is simply the process of inegration of information. We are, in our capacity, great processors of information. Yet, we have mis-used the imagination, and as a consequence forgotten what it means to integrate, as become intimate with creation.

At the moment, I liken this to eating dandelions. At first, this summer, the leaves were so bitter, yet over time there was so much more to the taste, and the initial bitterness was no longer ‘ an elephant in the room’ - or no longer what struck my senses as what a dandelion taste was. Other dimensions of the taste came forward. In our present palette of tastes, bitterness is not something in our diets, if anything it is something we reject and resist and react to. Thus, naturally that is going to be made HUGE. Yet it is not all that exists within the dandelion. Within becoming more intimate with this plant, in taste, there are other aspects coming forward,  as I no longer react so much to what I rejected as ‘ not being used to, as having acted in resistance to'  and notice greater dimensions of this plant. It was a process that unfolded- so to speak. It is a release of resistances- so to speak, as how I see this. Maybe I am nuts! lol

What this means is that what we practice integrates into us. Unless we are processing the information as it is, we create resistances to aspects of things, and cause conflict and friction, Acceptance of all things, would integrate an awareness of what is real, and create an intimacy with reality. There are points in this development where the new information could be mis-construed as an entity, when it is simply a body of information within which one is focused- reactions within this cause mis-takes and unbalanced presence that is in itself separated from creation.

Within this, memory is made so big, because of a mis-use of the imagination. The practice of being present, to see directly reality, is so unpracticed that it appears difficult, when in reality is is more an action of life than what I have made huge, and what is systematized externally. lol, I exist within an astro turf and use inflammatory language, as the means exposing this- I inflame values and reject others, to hold onto an idea about who and what I am, when what I am is life, here. 

Just as I might write out the opening dimensions of the taste of a dandelion to understand the elements of that plant via taste, using my senses in real time, so I write out the movements within me, of my acceptances and resistances, that I have allowed to define me, to become intimate with how I composed myself into a math, a song, an entity, that is in separation from reality, all evident in my own projections and denial of processing information around me via this shield of rejection of myself as life that by design denads constant support in order to survive. Yet, the means to the end, is to use myself as life, and process my acceptances and allowances and to balance them back into what is real, to then move into understanding form and function of here, this reality. And, at the same time acknowledging the entities of information, that become a part of me, and as information I have not yet processed clearly, as I am not communicating this in such a way that a six year old can understand it. This means seeing the forms, within and without, calling them by name, using words ( that order and lend a means of structuring this within).  If I listen, or practice listening, I can stand steady, making that which is huge, small, meaning balanced, and also realizing this is a process. At this point, I see this as a part of processing information, a sequence where one focuses on integrating something new, and finally, balancing it out and building a clear structure, equal to life, within which one can cross reference, with ease, to check, because automating something, without zip-filing through it, can cause one to lose presence with one’s own construction or what one really is- a physical beingness in expression.

Within this, I am moving around, giving others the means to practice seeing the notes as the composition of reality, as the cells, and at the same time, addressing the entities of separation, as the limitations, of and as what is rejected and resisted and what is the dream as what is accepted as a means to survive, this being an entity of information, inflammatory in its values accepted, and resistant to what does not fit the dream, and yet, this can be manipulated to reach into and give what would be an opportunity to move beyond a fear or overwhelming sense of ‘ bitterness’ for example, to see into greater dimensions of the composition of physical reality. Just as I have learned to realize the values of my subconscious layer of information, so must I recognize this in others, and it is there, projected outward, just as I accepted and allowed within me. This is really an entity of information. It is one thing to direct this within one’s self, it is another to begin to move in this space time and realize this in another- AND, then, to become responsible in grounding into reality, as being the model of focus into what is eternal, just as someone I know has done, and continues to be and do, all around me here. What else is there but to become what is eternal? After all, the real nature of life, of creation would be to exist within what is eternal as a starting point.

It is to say, the process of integration is like the processing  of information and at the same time, an unfolding of awareness of what is here. The steps within this, can build entities of experience, that can appear to be real, as reality, when they are not.  I can begin to see where within understanding the process of becoming intimate with reality, or elements of reality is actually fun as one focuses on dimensions of things to build understanding- the flexibility that is self moving through the eye-of-the-needle, and how entities of ideas, beliefs and opinions are capable of seeming to be reality, thus, cross referencing the stages of intimacy/unfolding /integrating the process of this and what is real, is like learning to play a violin. 

In reality, as where mankind is at, this means understanding the world system, our externalized control form, and understanding this within one’s self. This means looking here, seeing what is going on in this world, relating it to one’s actions on the ground, where one’s actions can change to practice what recognizes resource use, as what one eats, what one purchases etc. It means to follow the money, to realize what that money supports, be it a value made huge that is really inconsiderate of all things and the requirement of basic needs of all life to reach its utmost potential, thereby balancing out this world into an order where all things thrive, making this home an estate for all, so our children/seeds can walk/grow wherever they choose, without fear, and with understanding in how insight into how this physical reality works is an unfolding into greater awareness and equality in supporting life, as creation and the potential pitfalls in the integrating/learning process. It is understanding that doubt is simply, not having enough information, not having enough exposure, not integrating what is real, practicing understanding form and function of physical reality.

Thank you for reading!

The Distraction of Micro Management and Intuition. Is Hillary Clinton equal to life? Day 720

I am interested in learning about chemistry and organic chemistry and biology. I realize over time, within doing a little over day, that I can accumulate an understanding of the parts and whole of these systems, how they interact, as their inter-relationships and what that means in terms of the plants and the animals around me, and my own physical body.

I have to build and focus on this, always relating this to this actual and real physical world. It must have a living context.

In doing this, I had to go and look at exponents. I have had some exposure to exponents but not a whole lot of exposure.

During the process I wanted to use laws or rules - guides as knowledge and information, from my past, about how one multiplies negative numbers etc. What I realized as I did a lesson in exponents, is that the former cannot be applied to the later.  Or, my understanding was so in one context only, I did not have the spatial understanding of negatives being a kind of division. The point here was that I found I had to move counter to my beliefs,  I had to move in a counter-intuitive way, as the information that is and was me as my past.

Within the school learning model, as the direct instruction model, one is introduced to new information, and then practices that new information, in integrative activities, and then one practices this on one’s own, reviews it etc. Inherent in this process is one bringing one’s focus onto the form, and ‘ relating’ to it again and again. Thus, one builds an awareness of it, one is developing a relationship.

This then is filed in the body, and eventually can become automated. What happens in this context over time is a forgetfulness of the information that one accepts to direct one’s self. 

In the context of moving counter-intuitively within myself, I had to slow down a train of past information and apply a new perspective within my presence here. And, I had to practice this change. And, I will have to practice this again, over a period of time, being aware of my past habit, recognizing it and moving into the new. 

If I have resistance, then I have to look at why I have that resistance. In this world, it could be that I have another task I must do that I keep in the back of my head. I am not being the director of myself in totality, in presence within what I am doing. And yet, just as that past information is not going anywhere, because I am having to move counter to it, I realize on some level, that I need not hold onto something, because it is essentially not going to go away!  lol, this is where writing a list of what must be done in a day is helpful, because I need not think about something, I can just move through the list.

Overall, what does this experience reveal? It reveals that we move as the information we accept and allow. It means that we can have an idea about something and that this idea, over time, can become this ambiguous information automated within us that we realize as information when we have to learn something new that is counter to this information, which is what being counter-intuitive means. 

This reminds me of having worked with others. Suddenly, the other person comes and says something like, “ I have a feeling that this is ... this or that” And I ask some questions and meet with a repetition of an ambiguous statement as “ well, I have a feeling about this.” There is no other answer but this “ I have a feeling.”  

Since I realize in learning something, that I take in new information, that with practice becomes how I direct myself, and that information automating, to the point where I do not see that information unless i have to apply it in a situation where my information must change, I have forgotten what it is that I use to direct myself. I would not have realized my set way of working with negative numbers unless i had moved into looking at exponents. Here, I experienced what it means to move counter to my own set body of information. I would not have realized a sense of resistance as wanting to move in the learned way, and redirecting that in a new way. I have to ask myself how much do I do this in reality? How much to I move as a ‘ feeling’ without defining the information that is that ‘ feeling’ clearly, and respond with being present here, processing what is here, and changing what information that is me that I have accepted and allowed? This would mean overall, that when one has a ‘ feeling’ one is moving as what one believes, and if not clearly defined, is really not understanding that one is in a situation that is counter to one’s ideas, beliefs and opinions. One is, abdicating one’s presence and being ambiguous in relation to one’s intuition ( body of experience/inFORMation) and hence, resisting change. That intuitive info is bumping up against the practical world and believing itself to be greater than the practical. 

It gets to the point where this starts to become so obvious one could cause a lot of friction in calling this out. Yet, what else is there, it must be called out. This also demands a focus and a fearlessness in calling out these moralities because this is what they in essence are.

This brings me to another experience I have had. I have interacted with school committees. At one time I went and read ‘ the book’ in my state as to the rules and regulations for school committees. I started at the beginning of this 2 inch thick book. After the initial pages, where goals and principles were stated, I started to notice what I was reading was all these details, or, micro management about procedures. When I noticed that what I was reading was a micro-management system of the huge amount of paper work, I turned the subsequent pages and realized that I was reading directions as to how to file this line of paper work information etc, etc, etc.  Within this, I had to move counter intuitive to following information. I had to realize that the beginning of this ‘ book’ were the principles and guidelines of purpose, and the rest, which was most of this book, was simply about making sure the paper work was filed correctly. I was afraid to stand up and reveal this. I  believed that conceptually this would be counter to the running mechanism of the committee! Wow. 

I return to this past moment, because yesterday  I read some legal documents, and realized I was looking at the same thing I noticed within looking at the school committee documents/book.

These legal documents were so immersed in referencing past statutes, with all these numbers and letters and symbols being used to organize other documents, and the information was such of a micro management system, that I started to become confused and anxious within reading this. There may be an inherent logic within this system, yet to realize that inherent logic would take years. It is such a system of causing busy-ness in referencing all the associations one would not immediately see that what one looked at was not a law, but a series of being told how to move in every detail- to such an extent that self discovery would not exist. And yet, we understand in the education system, that self discovery is how we learn! Thus, it is as though the very system of what is not really law, but statutes as to manage every movement, is by design counter intuitive to how we learn, which is self discovery. And, that what exists as this is not a directive as lending understanding, but a purposeful distraction filled with associations by construction, to not allow one to discover that this present system micro manages as a means of separating one from one’s common sense ability!  I also have to ask myself how often I have not used my common sense and differentiated between principle and dictated direction? That ability to learn follows, yet without seeing the patterns, one loses a sense of principle, as what guides one. This means one loses a sense of the whole, the space of here, as one is tied to details that manage how one moves in a reality that reveals itself when one has the opportunity to interact with it. Yet is we are so focused on words on a page that are buried in association- a distraction in itself ( I will not go the next layer into subject redefinitions in the use of words!) - that it would be easy to forget reality, it would be easy to separate from what that micro management system was managing in the first place! Incredible. A crime, and a purposeful abuse of power.

That is so fucking messed up! Yet, this is a mirror reflection of what our intuitions are, as our set body of information that we at times use in an ambiguous way when we respond to things as “ I have a feeling”!  Each of us, inherent in the use of the statement “ I have a feeling’ ONLY, are basically using/following an associative web of information as what we have accepted as a practice to self direct, or, a self micro-management system, that we no longer can process or communicate because it is so layered with cross references in relation to that web of information- it is no wonder we come up with ambiguous statements such as “ I have a feeling’ ONLY to justify the choices we make!  In this, we are a busy work of information that has no real relationship to practical reality, and we resist and spite and react and fight for that inner intuition that resists a real relationship to this physical reality around us. Why do we follow without question?  Do we wonder why we lose our spatial sense of reality as we spend years on and in this physical form called earth?  Our set body of information is not equal to reality. This is practical, it is simple, it is OBVIOUS. It can be called out by name. The only thing stopping one from calling this out is one’s own set body of information,  or one’s intuition, believed to be greater than here,greater than this actual physical world around us, that ground under one’s feet.   Our centralized, government control system of micro managing every move we make is a reflection of each of us being this within ourselves, and it is managing us, in the mirror image of us, because this whole state of being is not being responsible as living a real, direct relationship to what we are as a state of physical beingness! And, to do so, it must set ever more rigid systems of one-size-fits-all because this makes managing the separation from reality as each human, easier to manage! It is a total rejection of self as life,a total rejection of self responsibility. It is counter intuitive to reality, to life, and it causes endless suffering to this life on earth. It is self programming the flesh in self interest, without consideration for all things, which is what one must be and do, to equalize to creating an ‘ intuition’ that works so clearly, one never has to say “ I have a feeling” without being able to define that feeling. 

The irony in this is that the children tend to understand this very quickly. It is the adults, who resist and become full of friction because the deconstruction process is heavy and slow because they have allowed so much information without cross reference to reality to be what informs them.  The separation is thick and like a hamster running on a wheel, no longer able to immediately ground themselves as ‘ jumping off “ that two-inch-book of information as their intuition.  Yes, it is like the children, before this happens to them, circumnavigate the zombies, as the adults of mis-information that is not all bad,  because in essence they do not yet have the words to define and describe this. In other words, they are not being heard- and many are already on the journey of this separation. IN this age of information, this, I assume, will only exacerbate. Do we notice that our children are having a loss of mastering the most simple of things? Are we as parents wanting a system to solve this problem- which means we are the consequence to this same scenario? Who, may I ask, can fix this? Especially if the adults are the products of this? lol, no one can, and the cost of hiring another person to do this, in an effective way, would be very very pricey. Therefor, only you can, only the parent themselves. Only the self can sort this out. It is impossible for someone else to do this. Yet, the first step is admitting to this.

Even I, in every moment, have to slow down and breath, check my own ‘ intuition’ and realize it is not this reality, it is the marker of my own accepted and allowed information learned without understanding how this all works.

Day 669the presence of a wall of memories; the effort to speak as a child.

What is a wall?

I woke up this morning with this word in  my head. I realize the sense of a ‘ wall’ around me is my own making. It only defines me if I accept and allow it.

I also heard a statement about the nature of Astrological signs this week. The woman said that water signs tend to be boundless. Funnily enough, in the group, the water signs were all on the edges of the group, where they could escape, remaining on the borders. 

Being of such a nature means that one can absorb everything and yet not be bound by it unless accepted and allowed, since one can change beliefs, opinions and ideas held within one, meaning one is not bound by such. And yet, this is a means to an end, meaning that one can understand something and let it go and change. One can expand perspective, learn and become more aware. Yet if the starting point is one of believing that one can be bound, and has a character of being boundless, then one is reacting to form, as belief, opinion and idea.

So the statement that one is boundless means that that quality of making the choice to be boundless is the same quality that can understand something for a moment and transform. Because the idea of being boundless means one is constantly transforming, as in rejecting and accepting what one chooses to believe, especially on a physical planet where it takes practical. measurable steps to get things done. If things are done in practical ways then what is real is right in front of us. When I am acting boundless, I am rejecting what is here, fearing to address it, fearing to call it by name and accepting the quality of it, and interacting with it in practical common sense ways.

Hence resistances are my own wall. My physical body tenses to resist what I believe will cause me harm. Because this belief is a measure within me, as an idea, it is myself in separation from being present in what enables me to live , and that is the physical world around me.

I have accepted a wall of belief, and that wall of belief becomes what binds me in limited ways. 

I recently had a memory come up of myself pushing myself to talk as a child. The memory is like an emotional veil. 

It was such an effort to do this, as though I was clenching myself within myself to ex-press the words I was playing with as sound. The anxiety behind this was great. Such a huge effort it seemed. 

Within the memory,  is the perspective of this, meaning the whole focus of myself was on moving myself within myself. My presence, like my eyes, were focused on this movement within me.

A memory can therefor me, a measure, a movement, a tiny slice of time and space. And each memory is like a different measure of movement, like currents in an ocean; some move slow because they are of such a simple movement within me, and others are fast moving, cluttered with debris as zip filed thoughts that are of belief, opinion and idea creating a story of justification for what has been created within that moves one, defines one, and ultimately separates one from being focused and present. In a way, it is a tying of all of this together, where one walks backwards, so to speak, through all of this and begins to see what was constructed with what builds memories within and a perspective of seeing not only this memorized within, and also, in tandem with, what is without as what is the real physical world that was there, that we each were within, become culture and language built personalities that became larger than life.

Who am I within what I accept and allow as beliefs, opinions and ideas? Since what is within is constructed, because it was not there when I was born, or until what seeds were planted as such states of being as the adults around me imbedded as measures of perspective within my DNA,  resonant because they are a form, a memory that can zip file information, what was I before all of this, even as the adults of my exposure and imitation,  around me walking in bubbles of a within made larger than life?

Measurable and math mathematically, this means I am built of what I am exposed to. This means that what is within me, must be equal in measure to seeing directly what is without that is me. This means that in the order of real living, my within must be cross referenced to what is without. This means that real trust, the trust of life, the acceptance of life, must be to realize equality and oneness to the physical. This is accepting everything as life, as creation.

This means that there is only here. 

I ask myself why there was so much anxiety attached in this memory to moving my body in such a way to be able to start speaking words? Was it that I only had words within a context of the beliefs, opinions and ideas of the humans standing within my environment? Was it that what I imitated was a different world than the world around me? Was it that I feared becoming this paranormal activity? Probably.

I notice in my chest, a movement that is not whole, and instead it is more like a hole, where what moves within this, is not sound, instead it feels like it pours out a racing thing, a film thing. I can answer it more, perhaps if I look at this from another angle. It is like it fears taking in other forms. and the consequence is that it is ‘ of an effort’ to change outside of pictures and ideas within and as me. I notice that in some instances taking in information about ‘ finances on the world stage’ is a genre/formation/structure that I have great difficulty with. I have to in these instances really slow down and assess the information as though it is so foreign to me. I tell myself that it is  a measure, a form that can be understood with continued assessment. The contrast of this change to assess this form, as the financial part of the present system,  exists in contrast to what races within my heart/chest that is like a thing as a measure as a form, that resists changing itself.  And yet, this is where I notice at times I can reform myself within understanding others areas of living, as in assessing how to organize some spatial thing in my direct world, my home- for example.

The anxiety comes up in some things my mind projects as words, as statements, such as; I can’t see that,” or “ I can’t grasp that,’ “ must get this”.

There is a sense that I really do not see the consequences of what I am doing. I am only imitating the world around me as trying to fit into what exists be it good or bad, right or wrong, and yet there is a thread of dread in some respects as though this short circuits the physical as me.

I can feel the anxiety of speaking within this, accumulating in my solar plexus, and then moving into my chest to flow out in a way that is of information that does not tell the whole story. It skims the surface.  When I become more ‘ boundless’ I notice that I am being change, and within this, the absence of anxiety happens, as less accumulates within my solar plexus, as I am busy assessing more than what is within me, I am slowing down and also sensing form and function of what is here. The red flag being when the information that is me, has to change and there is resistance because that information is not congruent with being present and here.

As a musician, I always has this sense that words were do limited, so one-dimensional. They moved too slowly to really have a presence in wholeness. Music seemed so much more a means of expressing a greater measure in a moment. And yet, words were sound too. Seeming contradiction.   One of the designs of our present system is that it does not allow for the time it takes to investigate. Yet is we are racing as a within that is not equal to what is without, we lose an innate ability to assess and understand form and structure around us, and hence we build a structure within that is in a relationship with limitation instead of complete understanding. This becomes what so many have accepted and allowed, which is a personality that has no real responsibility. And that is a crime against one’s self, a crime against life. No wonder so many are standing up and speaking about what is unacceptable in this world, and which is not placed on the mainstream media, because what is being expressed that is unacceptable, does not fit into the limitation that supports the limitation as one’s acceptance and allowances within one’s personification that is a metaphysical inner construct as one’s memory. 

I will do some self forgiveness in relation to the anxiety I felt as this memory, about speaking words, using this physical body to speak words using what I imitated around me, that caused a suppression that manifested as emotions accumulating in my solar plexus, and being formed into words that did not tell the whole story and therefor lacked a wholeness within my chest area.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was an extra-ordinary effort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was a huge effort

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get so caught in speaking words that I did not notice the effects of this on my physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was a child, attempting to behave as the adults in my world around me, and that to do this, I had to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel very exhausted within summoning all of myself to move my physical body into speaking words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within and as speaking words, and becoming at the same time exhausted within and as doing this, that I did not assess what I had done, as I simply accepted this without investigating what the consequence of this was within and as me.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I became so focused on the words and the effort to speak words that being aware of anything outside of that was ignored.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what my physical body as myself was doing was learning something new, placing into practice as me, some new formation of what I as a physical form could be and do,  that my focus on that and the praise I received for this,  distracted me from what I existed as before, that was what reformed to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that in being able to speak words I was somehow more that what I was in contrast to before being able to speak words as the only value I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is okay to enjoy speaking as in participating in some means of expression as speaking words, yet not to make this a more than, a greater value, something to be proud of as in an end game value  to define who and what I am, where realizing that this change and self expression with the physical is movement and living, and that this is ongoing, meaning it is being present, participating in creation in expression, as this is eternal and cannot be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I find myself accumulating emotional bodies within and as my solar plexus, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand where I am resisting investigating measure and form around me, as this is information that is not what I have accepted and allowed as a belief, as a measure within and as me. hence I slow down and I change within and as me, what I have accepted and allowed and the means of this, to reform through assessment and evaluation and realize that I can express this movement into considering all things, my own acceptances and allowances and what is without structurally, until I realize a form that is whole, as in directive into expanding awareness so my within can be equal and focused without, stable, grounded and at ease, as this is the absence of emotions and feelings of lack, comparison, resistance in competition of aggrandizing my within as ideas, beliefs and opinions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ this is too hard’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ I can’t do this,’ or “ I can’t grasp this,” or “ must get this.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not matching the words of another.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding the fun of this, over all, as speaking words and moving my physical body  as the means of expression which is fun and means that I am the director of what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the sounds that I emit, to fear making sounds, in fear of making a mistake, when learning means that one must attempt formation, and that means becoming equal in measure to something, which takes time and involves making mistakes, as this is the way and the means of realizing where I am not in total understanding of something, as this is by nature a process.

When and as I find myself tensing up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I assess the thoughts and the emotional veils of memory from my past and the reactions I had within that memory, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I am here, that that which builds is that which can reform and move into transforming who and what I am here, surrounded by creation as the physical, and within the construct of separation as the present system, and myself as a personality composed of limited measures in separation from being grounded and whole, equal and one to all life, which includes that physical as this is what is here before a mind consciousness was accepted and allowed to be bigger than life itself.

When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that the past as memory is no longer what I am here, and that the means to building my memory, as my experience, within the present system is the means of change, the means of slowing down, assessing and investigating what is here, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

When and as I find myself tensing up and/or feeling anxious,  I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess, investigate, evaluate, my within mind consciousness and the without as the physical world that is at the moment influenced by the limited measure accepted and allowed my myself,  and I follow through in practical application what accepted and allowed judgements as lacks within and as me that I believed protected and defended my accepted separation from respecting all life as me, here, and I ground myself through forgiving my own beliefs, opinions and ideas, based on a past where I followed and imitated my without, absent consideration of all things, as I accepted and allowed self interest before respect for all things.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I become equal and one as the living word here, to ground my within, in and as my chest area to speaking in wholeness in what is in consideration of all things, as the physical as this is life information, here.

When and as I find myself skimming the surface of reality and the measure of accepted and allowed limited beliefs, opinions and ideas to define me as my within, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that I am possible as who and what I am, life, here.

When and as I sense  a wall around and as me, as a sense of resistance to what is here around me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that the real “ wall’ is the all, of and as me as us, as we, here, as the physical, and I assess and investigate my within and the without, until my personified wall of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as memories, as experiences, as data, as measure, are self forgiven in equality and oneness with and as the physical here, becoming a living word that is in tandem with life, as being the consideration of all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to plant a seed of information equal and one to and as life, here.

Day 580 Repetitive Play, the Opportunity to Collect Data.

I have had a new person in my life for a few weeks. What I find so cool, is how much I am able to not take things personally, which I attribute to the Desteni I  Process. Within this process I begin to see how my mind works, how thoughts work and how the accumulation of thoughts can become emotions and feelings, the emotions being the fear, the doom and gloom as an idea of what may happen in the future based on a past where I had an idea about what I was based on mis-takes that were myself lacking an understanding of moving myself in practical ways. Then, the feelings that were justifications for the emotional reactions that were, again, the accumulation of fearful actions, where fear was allowing false evidence appearing to be real, which I allowed to define me.

Today I watched a talk about data collection, where it was suggested that machines will surpass humans in basic skills through data collection. Meaning a machine can collect data faster and then apply that data to, for example, win a chess game every time when playing with a human.

It was said that machines remediate many times and then are able to play the game.

It was also mentioned that our present bureaucracies have limited us, because they have become stagnant within allowing growth as the practices become entrenched, as the laws limit movement under the guise of protection.

I realize that as the system functions at present, that so many humans have little time and opportunity to remediate again and again until something is understood, as in having, for example the time to play chess enough to play well. Humans like these new computers, must also have the time to follow through mis-takes until the parts of the whole are sensed and integrated enough to enable mastery.

In our present system is there enough breathing space for people to develop themselves to the point of mastery? Do we have the opportunity to remediate until there are no longer mis-takes, and that what is before us is integrated enough that we can begin to create and transform? Have our bureaucracies become so burdensome that we are stagnant in our time and space to remediate in ways that allow us to understand that we can grow and expand in our awareness when we have the opportunity to learn?

Given all of this, what thoughts I had, that were of my experience, in a world where for some generations there has not been enough time to apply actions again and again that build understanding through making the mistakes and understanding that in learning we make mistakes as a necessary part of the process of learning. Many of my thoughts were limited because there was no understanding that learning is a process and that the mis-takes along the way do not define who I am, they simply show where I am within a process of building understanding of practical reality.

So, within spending time with another person, and in realizing that I am not defined by mis-takes, I can let them go, and simply look here, forgive the thought about a past of belief within a cycle of building understanding that had no real follow through into a real depth of understanding that I allowed to become a thought about who I am in my ability, when this was not who I was, it was where I was in a process of understanding and that this was in a world that for generations have been believing in the same self definitions based on not having had the opportunity to follow through and practice something until it was integrated and understood enough so that one could stand within this in certainty. Also, to realize within this, that it is the focus and certainty in the doing that is what is enjoyable. And this would build compassion, and empathy for others, and a desire to share because it is the realization that there are really no mis-takes, there is only practicing something until it is understood. Interacting with another person, after having walked the Desteni I Process  and coming to understand how my thoughts are a reflection of limitation and stagnation in not having allowed myself to realize that in learning and understanding here, as the practical reality, takes remediation until what is here is understood.  When there is disagreement, it simply means that there is not an equal understanding and thus, the solution is right in front of us, meaning the only way to be, is to investigate practical reality to see how it functions in common sense, as the form reveals the function so it can be understood, and that the past mis-takes - do not define or determine my personal value.

So, do we not see what our so-called computers are doing in all common sense? Do we not see that they are becoming so called “ smarter” than us as they practice and collect data, as the measure of the world around us? Do we not see what is so obvious and right in front of us?

We are believing that humans are incapable, and yet when a human has the chance and the ability to do, they expand. And, not only do they expand, they have the capacity to review the whole AND the parts and see patterns and then make choices that would not bring harm, because this is what each would chose in all practical common sense.

It is time to stand up and become the life that is here right in front of us. We need only do this, in joining together, as two or more in the name of what is best for all life, and create a system, one that is already in place structurally in many ways, and align this system to ensure that all have their basic needs met, and as such, can take the time to see the horizon as life as this planet that surrounds us and gives us the means to breath and be life, here.

We decide, lets get this done. Come back down to Earth. B-earth Yourself. Give yourself the gift of life.