Day 670 Emotion is another form of data.

Emotion is another form of data.  When I heard this I immediately thought about who and what I am, if I slowed down to consider that emotion is another form of data. 

This means that my personality is a form of data, as my personality is what I like and what I resist. It means that what I choose to like is based on my experiences, because my experiences are where I got my data from. 

If I look at parenting, for example, I remember at times being resistant to some children. This means that I resisted the data that my data compared their data to that was them.  It means that I sensed their measure, as their data that defined how they directed themselves, or how their neurons sensed based on their exposure and experience, to my exposure and experience believing that their data was not enough for the data I as busy building in my children.

This means that I was competing for data. Sound familiar? 

I investigated what jobs were happening in my area, and I found there were data collection companies. Even my son is working for a data collection project.

Is this a competition for data on a grand scale? Are we competing to collect data to win something more? What is that more that we are seeking? Is it to survive? Yet, is this not the means of survival, and is this not then the means of the machine, as our physical bodies?

If we are exposed to what is here and how the physical data as the plants and the animals and the soils, work and interact as measures of many parts working together, we collect data on that form. This in turn becomes what informs our data that can then build to an emotion that is what we direct ourselves as.  It is like to say, we have a neurological system within that builds in accord with our exposure. if our exposure is limited - just think of the images on TV- then what will be our emotions when we enter the real world around us? our data will be of flat imagery, with no real sensory development. Thus our data, as an emotion will come pouring out, trying to fit into reality, and not finding anything that matches, because the data within does not match the data without. That is really messed up.

Who ultimately is responsible for this? That point where the data is collected and transformed into how the machine is directed! 

It is also to realize the beauty of this, and the need for respect of this as how this functions. This means that each human, can build a network that is aware and present and functioning in being considerate of the beauty of this, and this in all things- even the cat, or the blade of grass. This means that all thing are us in another life!

It is also to realize that we can become stagnant in the data we have accumulated. And this means that we can change. We have to check our emotions as the data that they are, and cross reference that data with what is real, as the physical world that is us, the same. This means that the comfort of not knowing, is an illusion as limited data collection that is the past of one’s exposure and accepted focus. This means that the child will become the measure of the parents. 

The manner of collecting data is from physical reality and all the present forms built by men who did not realize this as the present technologies and systems imposed on this physical reality in absence of realizing this. Or, in using this in self interest- which is that comfort zone of not knowing!  The very means of this ability and development, as this is how things are built and changed and aware of to build is how the physical world works. This is really cool, because this means that we can build and rebuild, transform and take steps to do no harm, to anything that has been built, because we as what we are , can access data, and process it, and realize what does no harm. And, to realize that this is the fun of being. I mean, what do we do all day when we, for example, administrate? We assess data and reorder and organize it as all the things of this world that are creation in motion, information in motion. 

Hence, our present system is an emotion that is a data of beliefs and opinions and ideas that have not considered all data as what it means to be living a life expression that is physical. And that the physical is this process in expression. Instead, we have allowed ourselves to believe that our experience, as our data that creates the emotion, is more real that that from which the data was collected!  

And this means that our present data collection agencies, are collecting data on the movement of data that is a memory within each. This is a limitation, and the consequence of this is a stagnant system that has many jobs for people that have become comfortable within this structure, and fear changing out of their comfortable data! And that data is limited data, feeding on itself and justifying it’s existence despite this causing immeasurable harm to what is the same as them, all the people and plants and animals, everything that is of this physical world that is the means of all of this!

We need to stop believing in a god, because what is really a ‘ god’ is the physical because it is the way of creation. The physical is the information that is the physical you, it is the means of building awareness within of it so that one’s emotion is a data that is in alignment with life. as the physical The very need to believe in a god is the measure of one’s limited data that is the cause of the insecurity to need to believe in an imaginary god! 

Day 558 Moving " upon" the section of a group.

In looking at words and what memories come up, a thought and memory came up with the word ‘ upon,”  which means to be “connected with.” I read this word as up on, and then I was in a memory of sitting in an orchestra section and having the thought “ Move up on.” It was the idea that I had to move up, move forward, move upon the seating placements in front of me. That being forward had more value than where I was. The motivation to be more than what I was within a picture of one thing being more than another and defining me.

Such a movement is not good or bad, but being the motivation to appear to be more was a distraction from being what I was , where I was, and giving my attention to what I was doing. Having a thought, a judgement, was myself as mind paying attention to an idea within a structural belief of hierarchy, and not myself seeing the whole and the parts, realizing that in space and time, there really is no difference. And, to know, that when a section leader plays really loud as a means to leading, it is really annoying, because the sound of the group, the section, should be balanced, where it sounds as though it is one, all as one. So, each part is really equal, and it is only the illusion of one seat, placement being more than another.

This is also me competing, believing that I must compete to prove myself, where the proof of being present, in this scenario, is to perform in a way that joins each seat with the other so that the sound is stable, able to be heard and balanced, so the section can respond to the other sections of the group and as such, hear all the interplay, which is what is fun in playing anyway!

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought ‘ I have to move upon”, as up-on the front of the section, becoming connected to the front of the section.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being up on the front lines gives me greater value than being behind on the section in seating placement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect “ upon” with a personal value of myself in relation to society.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine myself being of greater value were I to be upon the front lines of the orchestral section.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define value with my placement in a group, meaning I have more value if I am on the front lines of the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to distract myself from paying attention to the whole in and as thinking that I would have more value on the “ front lines” of a group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define upon within the measure of where i am from a limited perspective in and as being placed in a spot, in a group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from where i am, to imagining where I should, or could, or would be, and what that imaginative idea would create as a value of what I would be defined as in separation from myself here, being equal and one to and as what I am doing and where I am here as being the value of life as what is real, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become such a thought as “ I have to move upon” to prove my self worth, and as this meta-physical idea, separate myself from seeing directly here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how this one thought creates a sinking feeling from my head into my chest, where I become a self judgement of being this thought, that I am less than because of my position, and within this, creating a heavy feeling, occupying myself with an idea of more than and less than, and limiting my ability to grow and expand in awareness as my attention is on idea, instead of a focus of equal measure to and as practical reality, as it is only here than I can change, see, and equalize myself to practical actions that enable me to reach the full expression of and as myself as life, here.

When and as I find myself having a thought such as “ I have to move upon,” I stop and I breath, and I realize what values I am accepting and allowing to determine a definition of myself as a more than and/or a less than, and I slow down, and I see, realize and understand that the value is life, and that i am here, and that I can only move myself from here, from where i am, and that it is only from here, that I can hear what is here, as an idea in and as my mind, is just this, an idea, and not what gives me life, and enables me to direct and move, as i am here as a physical beingness, the way and the means of and as life, thus, what is real, where growth happens in thought word and deed is paying attention to here, to the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming an idea, as a thought, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself here, equal and one, breathing, to be in common sense of practical reality, looking at what steps I can take in one moment that direct me to the next step as this is the way and the means of life, as life in expression, as, in all common sense, life will.

When and as I find myself becoming an emotion of believing myself to be less than, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I forgive the memory, as the thought, as the emotion being the accumulation of and as such thought, and I bring myself back to practical reality, to realize a common sense measure as the physical, and I become the principle of what is best for all, as that which does no harm and takes that which is good, to see realize and understand myself as life, here, equal and one.

Day 487 Self Forgiveness on Thinking. What is thought?

Sometimes I allow myself , when moving through a point to procrastinate. It is that I am allowing the point to be HUGE and it is not.Once moving through a point, there is a sense of “ duh” so I realize that I am making it difficult. I can’t blame anyone but myself.

Today I asked myself. “ why did I need to think?” How could I see if I were thinking when perception is simply looking? How could I take in what was around me if I were thinking? Taking something in, in totality, needs only that focus, and anything distracting from that would diminish that process of taking something in. So, taking something in would need to come from silence, from nothing.

What  relief in a way, to not have to think, to not have to be prepared in some way to take something in. Thus, to really “see” would mean to come from a state of nothing, which means no thinking while looking. Thinking would, from a scientific standpoint, mean there is static within self as the movement of thinking, disrupting what was being taken in.

Note, that this does not mean, especially from where we have allowed ourselves to be, that we do not need to practice looking.

Ironically, we have televisions all around us telling us what to value, what to accept, what to think about. Which means that there is a lot of static around us, to disrupt looking. If we think of ourselves as a substance that would life , then a moment of silence may actually cause a moment of real seeing. In a hierarchy that would not be cool, because it would disrupt this.

But it is us, all of us that is allowing this constant thinking, this constant “ thinging” around us. Is this because we are afraid to see, we are afraid of the silence? And, this silence is how to see because it is nothing/no thing, which means clearing the mind to take in that which is something - as an expression in totality.

I mean, just look at how a piece of music can rapidly change a mood, disperse a hang-up on an emotion and alter the listener’s state. So, an emotion can change. Well, if one became silent in the face of emotion, would this be like starting again, in a moment, to register what is here from nothing, to stabilize in seeing, to clear the emotion,, and as this to correct what caused the emotion, to realize what would start again as a correction to a state of seeing, a state of ease, without the chaos, the static of thinking as holding a belief as an emotion? Is this not the way to correct an emotion to forgive that emotion back to ease, which is back to participation within self direction and self honesty with the life around us?

Any of us can realize that we cannot participate in our day, when we are hung up on an emotion. or over excited, such always leads to “ missed moments” and we regret that we were being so emotional. This especially happens within relationships. We later regret what was said and done and realize that we were selfish with our emotions and did not slow down and take the time to equalize in understanding with the other, and solve what was causing the conflict.

Our media uses this to distract from what is happening with political decisions, as we are all caught up in some soap opera of judgements, the workings of self interest are moving behind this curtain of emotional drama. So, those workings in self interest can say to all of us, we hid nothing, it was right here in plain day, in plain sight - lol and we were all in drama sight/emotional judgement sight - a thin veil really, so we cannot blame the system. As within so without. We cannot ask the system to change, because it is us. The many that can somewhat read, must change this, which means anyone on the internet. 

Thus, in so many ways, what desteni is saying we all know. We are just being that person within that storm of emotion, not having gotten to the other side, slowing ourselves down, to equalize in understanding to bring ourselves out of the static and correct to understanding where the discord stops and the ease within the communication within the relationship returns, the silence, where two people ( in this example) feel at ease with one another. And that is probably the most fun one can have, that ease with another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take thinking seriously.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to thinking within, and without seriously, as in believing that what another thinks defines me, or is the end all be all of what I am or what is real as what is here as life as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I think I am creating something, thus I forgive what I think as defining me until I can slow myself down to the point where I am ease within and as myself within becoming silent as in having no thought, as this is myself here, able to take in without expectation, without judgement, without fear and as such this is myself able to take in what is here in totality as thinking would limit my perception to accept what is here in totality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that taking in the words of someone, accepting the words of others where such words cause a movement within and as me, as thought would mean that correction has not been reached as in understanding to the point of being at ease, thus within this, to not allow another to speak or answer, to discuss and resolve is a crime against life, a from of bullying in self interest.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to with every breath, to slow myself down and look without thought to see what is here in totality, to thus not react to what comes to me in the form of value judgement - as in comparison, fear of loss, desire for gain - as such within and as me, is not myself able to see in totality from a point of silence , from which I can only make a decision about what is best for all, because I must slow down and look, sense what is here in order to be able to direct myself within respect for all life, for all that is here as including the physical world as being as much life as what we humans have been lead to believe, accepted, as the mind, an alternate reality as being more than the physical, and within this to realize that what is the truth is hidden right in front of us,  thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become silent within and as me, as a state of ease, to realize that all things here must be sensed when directing myself here, which is to begin from a starting point of respect for everything that is here as me as life, because it is everything that is that one something that allows me to be an expression as life, here, thus it is for me to silence myself as nothing to see everything and to respect all that enables me to be here as something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something outside of me has caused me to have lost something, when all I need do, is silence myself and breath and accept all things, including the physical, to bring myself into directing myself within and as what is best for all here, this which would allow a state of ease as life, as myself to be, and as such, if created for all one earth would allow life to begin within and as realizing that it is ourselves as being something from nothing that is expression of life which cannot exist as long as the static - so to speak- of judgement exists as thinking, because thinking is being stuck reading a picture as a secondary image taken of here, and cannot be the total sensing of the formation of life as the physical which must be done in every moment from silence, as such we cannot fathom because we are all so caught up with the something as the clutter as mind and so addicted to this, as ourselves fearing to simply not fear loss. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can lose something. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I am an emotion as a fear of loss, I am not one and equal to myself at ease, in silence, myself being here and as such equal to everything, which includes the actual physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i need to think.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thought must be in accord with what is best for all, for the silence and ease of myself as life to exist, here, as this is myself from nothing to something as everything, of which I can only be as, as the part that i am here as existence for which I am thankful for all the other parts, as without the other parts that are me as life here, I would not be the part as me , here, as the composition of the parts create the whole, and as this, this is the real roller coaster - so to speak - as the joy of life, which is each part working together as the whole, in equality and oneness here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated myself from life into and as thought here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i have been hurt, mistreated and unloved, as idea within and as me, as this is the same that I have been given, which is idea of more than and less than, this pain as me is myself having accepted judgement, as this is myself having moved as fear of loss, of which I denied myself, myself as life, having not silenced myself as mind, to  move from a point of silence, a point of ease, to accept all things and respect all things and direct myself in consideration of all things to direct myself here in equality and oneness, meaning realizing the physical world is all things too.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject the physical as being less than what is in and as my mind as thought. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I was taught as a child, to give as I would like to receive, and as such, when I began to judge the physical I was not in effect giving as I would like to receive because I was rejecting the physical world in all its expression and allowing one thing to be more than another, instead of looking at everything as the physical and realizing that the value was life, where not one physical thing was more than another.

Thus, ‘When and as I  find myself full of thought, and thus in separation from here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that unless as mind I am silent, as in being equal to the starting point of here, I am no longer in sense without judgement.

When and as I find myself believing that I am more than or less than another I see, realize and understand that  I  am not moving here within and as solution as that which is best for all here.

When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I stop and I breath and I walk myself through the belief that what is here is too much, or too difficult to walk through and I see realize and understand that I can only walk one thing at a time, and that allowing the focus of myself onto the knowledge and information only , in and as my mind, I am distracting myself from being in common sense, walking practical steps as how being physical means and does,  and I put myself back on track, through realizing equality and oneness with and as the physical , here.

Day 311 Disgust Character Self Commitment Statements

I commit myself to realizing when and as i become an emotion of disgust I have already accepted myself to have failed within and as a belief, and within this, to no longer allow this and to stop and to breath, and to see, realize and understand that I can become equal and one within walking in the shoes of the other and realize accepted limitations and clear up these limitations within making clear what exists within and as common sense of how this present system functions in and as inequality that does not serve the interest of what is the real value, here, which is life where the allowance of life is being the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for self.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that , within slowing myself down and breathing, I am able to walk in common sense of what is here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing that failure is a belief in limitation in separation from being one and equal to and as life, here, which is to walk what is best for all, leading to prevention of the existence of stagnant beliefs that are limitations as existing within consciousness, within parts only, thereby creating relative values and this comparison and competition, in separation from being here, as I allow myself to become a movement of bullying one value are more than another, and thus destabilize myself from myself as the presence of life, here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my sense of disgust is self disgust as I am not allowing myself to exist within common sense of the whole, where the pieces can be brought back to an understanding of how what is here as this system of inequality can be directed within what is best for all as being supporting all life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that walking this process takes consistent effort and patience as a reaction of disgust within and as me, has become a habit which will take practice within realigning to walking through accepted and allowed thoughts, words and deeds that seek to blame and spite in protection and defense instead of direct within what is best for all, where i have made beliefs, opinions, and ideas more than a principle of what prevents, as what is best for all, and within this allow the taking of things personally to dominate my behavior and internal conversations, and within this become a battle of personifications, in and as energy, in separation from equality as asound sense of being present here, within and as what is best for all, as this is the only choice that moves and directs within and as being life , here.
I commit myself to breathing, to bringing myself here , in common sense that there is nothing to lose, that failure exists in the mind as consciousness only, as this is myself in separation from becoming equal and one within common sense of what is practical in support of all life here, as it is from this point that direction as life is able to be realized and thus practiced within directing myself here.
I commit myself to realizing within and as every breath that the probem is separation into limited value belief only.
I commit myself to realizing that the solution is to bring myself back to what is real, as this actual physical ground as earth, and to in practical common sense become one and equal to what is here, be it the soil or another person, and/or the present system, to see, realize and understand how what is here exists as how it is moved by the conditions created within a system of inequality, and to investigate this and take what is good and and realize through thought word and deed what is supportive of all life, as what is best for self is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that the reward is the removal of war, of conflict , of inequality, of negligence accepted and allowed through limited consideration of this earth, this which supports all life.

DIP Lite
Your daily practice of clearing the mind of separation from LIFE.

Day 293 Disgust Character Memory: Self Resistance

I have this memory coming up of my husband. He is propped up on the bed with his legs expended out straight. He is slowly rubbing his feet against one another. It was something he did when he sat and read or dealt with paper work on the bed in this way. I remember feeling disgusted by this, and even asking myself why I was having this reaction.
So I look at this as a projection, this “wave” as this emotion of disgust and I bring this back to myself. I slow myself down and I breath. And there it was, this was me, this had absolutely nothing to do with him, this is a piece of the “shell” of myself, within judging, that I have imposed on the reality around me, believing this to be “out there” when it is a movement as energy of my own volition. It is a “volume of separation” , distortion of reality, myself not facing myself. I am the one creating this state of being as “disgust” in the face of a reality that is simply being physical. I mean what the hell is wrong with rubbing one’s feet together? Animals rub against things all the time, even each other, they even lick themselves.
I looked at this “feeling” of disgust and it is how I feel about myself. It is myself disgusted with myself for not being in common sense here, with this physical world,it is myselffearing being common sense, as though being this, is something dirty and unwanted.
In another blog I wrote that asking others to look at something in common sense creates a reaction, as leaving the “text book/blueprint “ of the mind appears threatening, as this means letting go of what is actually causing the seeking, a perpetual state of seeking something, and spewing tons of data, as knowledge and information only, as though this is “the way to go”, which is like a “chicken running around with it’s head cut off”, so to speak, meaning, this is what one is actually doing, running around dead when common sense is not used.
I have to remember a scene with my father a couple of years ago, where I tried not to be the reactive behaviors I had been, and tried to talk with him instead, and what happened is that he looked at me and said , “ I don’t know how to stop what I do” and to see him be this was jarring to me, a woman at this point, as his daughter, to watch. I realized how frightened we all really are, how this has come to be so huge, we cannot see around it, or taking this on and walking through this, walking through this valley of the shadows of fear, is so seemingly “looming” there appears to be no way out. But there is a way out, it is to begin to “clean up the soot” of the fear and clear the waters of self of the separation into and as fear, this covered by and readable as moments of emotions and feelings, and thoughts, such as I have described above, this memory, laced with this emotion of disgust and an image from my past, where obviously I am not in common sense of here and am existing within some fantastic domain that is really about what i have acceptedand allowed in self judgement, knowing full well I have suppressed myself as life.
Why would two feet rubbing together cause a disturbance within me?
Was it the simple “sensing” nature of this? ( I wanted to say sensual but thought this would bring in a sexual element and this has nothing to do with this) Were those two feet rubbing together just simply what I was not allowing within myself as being myself as life, here? Like I am disgusted with this because it reminds me of what i am not using as what I am as life, sensing here, and to realize what i have created within my life in not allowing this? not being in touch with myself here? Has the physical touching the physical become something that generates disgust? Which in essence is saying that common sense is something dirty, and I react, as other react when common sense is applied or suggested as this means facing one’s separations, facing one’s “valley of shadows” that are one’s fears? Just as i looked and realized this disgust had nothing to do with my husband as this was ME, this was about ME, I was creating this, I was projecting this, this was me denying what i was allowing, and this event was the presence of what I resisted within and as my self, and so this persistent feeling of “disgust” as what I reject as the gift of life, is the answer to remove this separation, this shadow, what I am resisting persisting in and as mind, causing moments of emotions and feelings and judgmental thoughts that become a movie projection ontop of this reality. It is like a vortex/tunnel of sending a message outward where I am screaming ( silently) a “need/desire” and feeling physically a sinking feeling/movement and then not wanting to look at it and attaching it to the outer thing/image where if I were to actually stop and breath and listen to my chest it is really a longing to be myself as life, in common sense of myself as life, here. That is just one fucked up state of being, and obviously it is not living. And this is also systemic, because it has a series of movements/generations and thus, though not visibly/readily seeable, it can be “felt” if one simply takes the time and slow down and breathe.
So, I am going to look at this “disgust” as this is not walking in common sense, and it is absent of a directive capacity, and it indicates resistance, and what is resisted persists, as the separation into polarities of good and bad, as placing disgust onto the object and wanting to to “go away’ as though it is not me, is myself believing myself to be superior, as in “ not of this” projection that I believe is out there and not here, because I have been taught to follow such images as reality as mind, and really believe that such is not of myself. Such a thing would create so much inability to communicate on this earth, and this is exactly what is happening all over the world, a lack of communion with what is real, this physical substantive existence and how this physical functions. At present it is like mankind is doing the exact opposite of what is supportive of life. Sending flying shooting guns, as drones to depressed countries is NOT supportive of life, and there is absolutely no reasoning to substantiate this. Shooting things does not clean water, it does not grow food, it does not physically practically rebuild homes and take care of soils and animals, in no way shape or form is this an action of support and it is a waste of resource. It is about money and nothing else, it is money in self interest without consideration of life, it is a state of separation and thus, disease and it needs to be voted out and stopped ASAP. And we are all responsible. So, look at your limited reasoning and your projections and get your head out of the clouds. Flying shooting drones is not life, and yet, is clearly indicates that the technology is here to create world where all needs as life can be met. And I am sure there are inventors out there, that are disgusted with what has been developed to support abuse and destruction, when the intent was to create a world that supported life. Here one only need look to water purification systems that would alleviate the effects of dirty water in purposely left/disallowed undeveloped countries on continents that are abundant in resource.
The con-sequence of con-tradictions are to obvious to deny any longer.
So, if you experience a projection of disgust, know it is you, as what you have accepted and allowed, and it will persist the more you resist, the more you project it outward. And what it is, is you longing for yourself as life, longing for a return of your self as life to a common sense, one and equal, to and as life.

To be continued.

Day 242 A reaction of irritation

I experienced reactive behavior today towards the presentation of something.
I become frustrated and irritated, not as reactive as I have been in the past within such circumstances, but still, it was there, - an angry irritation.
I realize that my irritation is one and the same as the reaction, emotion made bigger than what is actually here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become irritated, into and as a state of ire, which is myself becoming fear and anger, as reaction within and as myself not being understood, where this emotion has no solution, and all that I can do is walk into understanding the separation from what is real here, as emotions based on judgements of what is more and what is less, specifically within judgements in presentation, not seeing realizing and understanding that stopping and looking to what is here, as the whole of what is here, is not a customary practice as the human has existed within the mind as consciousness, as energy, and thus within and as breath I stop and look at the details of what is here as the physical through this mirage of emotion that appears seemingly impossible, a habit of separation from what is real as the physical, to realize the depths of such behaviors and begin to correct them within and without.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my irritation is myself within becoming an energetic reaction, in self interest, based on an idea, and a moral code, as the habit of consciousness.

When and as I find myself becoming irritated, I stop and I slow myself way down, in and as breath, as I realize within becoming emotional I will have no effect as I become a judge when conversation or words spoken do not meet my expectations as this is a desire to win, reflecting a feeling, as a fear, of loss.

When and as I find myself becoming irritated I stop and I breath, and I forgive my emotions and feelings of self interest, and I investigate what physically exits and practically walk what is best for all, to give as I would like to receive, to support life, here, as this is the value.

Desteni

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Day 50 Woe/Owe

Day 50 Woe/Owe

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel I owe and within this create my own woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be the emotion of woe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe in this emotion of woe where I owe a correction to something or someone, where in being this owe/woe I am in fact no longer allowing my self as life, here, as owe and woe are based on past events, and I allow the past, I allow judgement and excuse and belief and opinion as what I have learned as the persona, the stopping of a continuum as myself as life, here, one and equal, in and as lie instead of life, where I lie within and as the past and stop myself from existing here based on morality of adherence, adding to here, accepted behaviors that maintain a fixed regimen of roles to support the survival of specific structures taught and accepted to uphold the mold within a system of profit.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the behavioral mold of myself as persona, a collection of storied events from my past, that I have allowed to define myself here, behaviors recited through the cry of blame and shame, fear and loss, desire for gain and meaning in a world where life is not considered, where what is paramount is profit to buy defense through objects of definition that clutter life and limit  an expanding continuum of self expression as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear loss, as nothing can be lost, only the burdens removed as stagnant idea, belief and opinion, to realize these defenses held are a stubborn resistance to self as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am of no name, and of all names.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize meaning is within no meaning, as life is the value, as having the meaning, so no meaning need be sought as it is here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see and realize that what is owed is to relinquish woe, as loss is the illusion, as it is the belief in loss that is the separtion from allowing self as life to continue.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that validation from without can exist in a world of fear, as this earth, where the game is survival as this is the sight of fear in separation and fear of self as life, thus can I only become self trust as life within the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for all, is giving as one would like to receive to stop the madness, as anger, as fear, as what exists on this earth within a system that is the structure of survival and competition as what this earth has freely given is imprisoned within a system of inequality, such riding on a belief of lack as this continues a fear of no gain, no life, a perpetual motion, of infinite design.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have been hurt when the hurt is the separation from my self as life, into a persona, as the dramatics of a character, as this is what is learned and accepted by each and every human on this earth in separation from earth, from the physical world whose image and likeness is to give as you would like to receive, thus was it I, as each and every one of us, who accepted and allowed the models of profit instead of the model of life as what supports myself here, the physical world.

I commit my self to realizing that I am responsible for myself only in being my self as life, as I cannot be the life for another, as the other is life and must be life for themselves, where I, in being my self here as what I am as life, is the directive to realize the emotions, thought and feelings of others is themselves caught in self seeking definition, as though a definition defines, looking for a constant when the constant is being life itself, as self.

I commit my self to believing I carry the burdens of others, as I cannot carry what is accepted and allowed and carried by another, especially since the burden is a separation of self in an infinite loop.

I commit myself  to remaining here in breath, to realize my own separations into and as fear.

The infinity secret, consciousness  as the light and the dark.

Day 31 Embrace

Day 31 Embrace self

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to desire to be held

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to desire to have someone hold me, just hold me and accept me for what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that it is I that must hold my self and accept my self for what I am

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I need someone outside of my self to hold me and accept me for what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not hold me as my self accepting my self for what I am for what I have accepted and allowed and that it is only me who must hold me and accept me for what I am as life, as an expression in and as life, as this is my self allowing and accepting my self to embrace my self as life here, as I am life here.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to embrace me as life here, all that I have defined my self as and thus to forgive this as this is what I am and not what I am as what I am is equal and one to all that is here on this earth as this is me and this is not me as I am life here of substance able to express as all that is here in and as breath here where I am all and I am nothing, I am not fixed as some label, I am not a separation from life I am life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the only way to embrace my self is with another, to have a picture of being with another in order to be embraced, where I am in every moment embraced by life here as I am life, I am in the embrace of and as life here as I am this, thus in embracing my self I am embraced and embracing my self, where I become one and equal as my self as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am separate from life, when I am life, and it is only a limited mind of reflection of what i believe I am not that is what I have allowed my self to be that is the separation, that is my self in feriority of my self as life, where I wait for validation, where I wait for a sign, where I wait for the embrace of life as being something separate from me, when this embrace as life is right here as I am this, I am life here, this embrace here has always been here, I have not looked, I have not seen, I have not heard, I have not felt my self as life here, embraced my self as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have abdicated my self for some limited idea of what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have abdicated the very life all around me, as the birds, as the grass, as the trees and the expression of life in people, in nature, in substance as I sought an embrace of limited design where I believed I needed a feeling and emotion, a fix, and energetic wisp of  a surge to be what made me feel alive , where this never satisfied, this never brought any sense of self being embraced, where I believed there was something wrong with my self in my application of communicating when In fact it was the act of looking for embrace without and attaching a feeling and emotion to this embrace that was what separated my self from finding/being/sensing an embrace of my self as life, where nothing outside of my self can validate my self as life as the way to embrace life is to embrace my self as life, so that the substance of myself as life can then embrace life as my self embracing my self as life, as though my self as life is the way and the means to connect to life that is here as all are life as what is here is life, one and equal.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize I have become so separated from my self as life that I will have to walk through all that I sought as self validation and bring my self back to self honesty as self as life in order - deconstructing the disordering of my self into and as dishONEsty as my self as life, where I forgive my self for not accepting and allowing my self as life to embrace my self as life here, where in common sense no teacher/parent/god would have this any other way, as the gift of life is what one is as life, given unconditionally to be and become an expression in and as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see/realize/understand that I am life, it is OK to EMBRACE my self as life, there is no shame, no guilt, no harm, no dishonor in accepting and allowing my self to EMBRACE my self as life as I AM LIFE or I would not BE HERE.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the EMBRACE of my self as life is conditional.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear embracing my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to embracing my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to wait, to feel that there is something out there somewhere in some fuzzy logic belief that I am supposed to wait to embrace myself as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that embracing my self as life is contingent on entering some heavenly domain where a supposed “god” will give me the OK to allow my self to embrace my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must hear the words, “ embrace yourself as life, my child.”

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the embrace of my self as life involves energetic love.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self  feel that embracing my self as life would be a selfish act, where ironically this would be SELF ISH as in self expressing the “ish-ness” of self as life!

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to be ashamed that I have not accepted and allowed the very gift of life given, my self as my self is life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to mys elf to miss the elf, the elf as life as “self” as my elf as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I cannot give what I am not, if I am not embracing my self as life I cannot give myself as life and thus can I receive no embrace from and as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that rejection is of my own doing as I have not embraced my self as life here.

I commit my self to embracing my self as life here.

I commit my self to breathing, and with every in-breath to sense my self here as life, to sense life as all as one as equal, to within this realize that what i am with each in-breath is my self, where I face all that I have allowed as self in joy, in the realization that this is me, this is life, this is sound, this is of the depth of the expression of and as life, here.

I commit my self to enjoy this self as life, and to make my in breath equal and one to my out breath, where the breath of this equal and one breath is what all have on this earth, to walk what will allow all the embrace themselves as life, with all that is required.

I commit my self to accepting and allowing my self to breath, to embrace my self as life in and as breath here.

I commit my self  to realizing that self embrace is the embrace of life.

I realize that until I embrace my self as life unconditionally I am not as this earth, that which gives unconditionally.

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