Sunday, September 2, 2012

Day 136 Anxiety is separation


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that fear is self judgement in separation from what is actually physical here, the self moving/directing in and as common sense of what is real as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I am anxious I am fearing the future, existing within the friction of fear, evident in the being of myself here as myself not equal and one with and as breath, allowing a storm, as vortex of emotion and feeling to be the sign of myself here having removed myself from the landscape of this earth, this physical world, this separation into and as mind being a participant of and as the being of myself to not listen , to not hear, to be blind from what is here as this physical world, that only allows myself to follow the signs placed by men through a system of inequality that divides and conquers in self interest - a self interest as ego, as desire , want and need, to serve inequality, to serve an imposed imagined world of limited role play as personas feeding this image nation made so big it no longer realizes what is real, the physical, and thus does this energy of separation and ignorance of what is real, burn and consume this physical world which must stop if life is to begin.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand this anxiety as fear of the future within this system of inequality where all the details consume attention as mind through imagery, in fear of loss as fear of survival as strategy to compete and ensure comfort, where this act of survival I enter takes over the life of me, and I forget myself as life, as one and equal as life to this physical world, thus do I become a battery charging a system of inequality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a few “batteries” pulling out will not change this system, it will take many disengaging themselves from this service and standing to disengage this system of inequality and walk it, transform it to a system where each being here on this earth becomes self directed as life, allowing the expression of self as life, sustaining life here, and self here, so that life can begin and become absolute instead of the separation into and as fear of the future and one’s survival, as being this survival, utilizing the borders created to uphold division and conquer, will not and cannot allow the autonomous expression of life, as a monoculture ignores the totality of life, choosing to force forms into controls for self interested gain within a belief that money is the gain, ignoring what is the actual gain, the gift of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and to breath, when and as I get anxious, realizing that I am within a storm of fear for the future, existing in a picture show of gloom and doom, fearing my own survival, where this character of survival as the future, has no answers, is only the dividers I have placed before my eyes in separation from life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand from where this fear comes, to walk through my own justifying discourse to see, realize and understand how i have created a persona/character to and towards this persona of anxiety utilizing an understanding of how capitalism in fact function, as capitalism does not support life in totality as its only concern is self interested gain as the nature of profit, to see that my self judgement is based on a belief that I must hold onto ideas, beliefs and opinions with which to define myself, where i need no definition as I am here as life, as the being of myself as life is the absolute definition of myself here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my insecurities are based on past events supported by doctrines that divide values into more than and less than instead of actually looking at what is here without judgement and working with what is actually physically here, respecting what is actually physically here.

I commit myself to realizing that the veils of separation as belief, opinion and idea, manifest as thought, feeling and emotion, embedded within the very waters of life as my human physical body must be walked through, brought back to myself, in awareness of my own constructed suit of separation, believed to be what protects and defends myself here, to remove this, to understand this so that it will never happen again, to clean this up and become one and equal to life here, to remove the storm of fear  as the great divide from life here.
I commit myself to breathing when and as I become anxious, to realize I have entered my own storm of separation, where i must realize my own resonant design as that which is the cause of my anxiety, based on fear of loss within an imposed man-made system of inequality that is the cause and the effect of what I have accepted and allowed through participation within and without, manifesting a world of abuse as the absolute and not a world of life as the absolute, thus, this system is consuming itself as life, and not being life, one and equal to life here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down with the tool of breath, to self forgive myself of my own resonant halo as energy, as what i become in separation from life into and as anxiety  and to walk through the fear as a resonant gloom and doom scenario ignorant of what is actually physically real, here, freely given, supporting life as itself as life, this physical world, the one thing taken and conquered using a secondary blinding force as mind as image imposition as thought, emotion and feelings, fanned into existence by parents who themselves are this, where the child has no defense as the child is too small, as this is all that has been known and thus taught, as a system of inequality will teach inequality and not the being of self here one and equal to what self is, life.
I commit myself to walking a process where the storm of my own accepted and allowed separation is made small, managed and removed to bring myself here, one and equal to life here, to reconstruct, through putting all the pieces of myself back together, to become one and equal to life here, so that life can begin in oneness and equality here through the desteni i process of self forgiveness, breathing, corrective application as the tools I utilize to become the common sense that I am as life so that life can begin and the children being born can become the expression of life they were meant to be, one and equal to life here.






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