Day 137 Is not heresay/heresy a sin?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the way in which we are taught is based on ideas, beliefs and opinions based on heresy, passed down through for-fathers and mothers, like a game of telephone, where the message becomes less than the original message in tandem with no actual self physical experience equal and one to what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a composition of heresy, as what i have been told I should exist as, as a presentation to fit into a system of inequality to survive within a system of profit that has failed as it is not supporting life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am resonant with story telling, as heresy/hearsay, and thus have never been taught to actually work one and equal to and as what is here as the substance of life that is one and equal as what we/I are/am as life here, with out the “say” as the only experience with what is here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was forced to accept this, as a child, where the consequences of not accepting this meant punishment, as the heresay had become all that was known, becoming what was believed to be real, instead of actual physical interaction with this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I fear death, as I fear time running out, where I know I am a walking heresay, trying to utilize this heresay to express myself and survive, yet this here-say has no substance, and the here-say as itself only want a match to support itself as its persona of story/character construction in separation from what is real, actual, physical here, where what has been made huge is the telling of the heresy/heresay/hearsay and not the actual common sense of my self as a human physical body, that which is real or sex would not be such a huge drive in men, as this has also been clouded with heresy as image as idea, as picture porn show in separation of physical common sense as life, like the way in which animals just simply enjoy themselves physically.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I allow this to direct me, my life will have no substantive expression as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I fear rejection in becoming here without the say, as the say, as belief, opinion and idea, takes care of the act of myself as life and not the here, as is so evident within the present system of capitalism as profit, as a division and conquer of what support a few in existential heresay/hearsay/heresy physical comfort, and not the life substance, the actual physical world, as what is real, as what is the value, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad that this exists, that what is so obvious is ignored.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that more than likely, it will be impossible for life to be birthed into, as what it already is, this physical world, as the heresy has become so huge it has consumed the human, and thus is the human merely a parasite on existence, which is laughable because the human believes itself to be superior to nature, when it is in fact the exact opposite.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that to clear myself of this heresy I must stop and slow myself down and breath, and apply common sense of this physical world to all the hearsay / heresy that I have accepted and allowed in separation from myself as life as my human physical body in common sense with what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there is really no hope for man kind, as mankind has become so ignorant of this physical reality that he is indeed what he makes movies about, a walking zombie whose only action is that of destruction, where at least this walking zombie kills itself and the birds and the bees seem to keep going in the background.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel angry about this, and sad.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my heresy self seeks attention, that my heresy self seeks validation, that my heresy self exists only within relationships to other walking zombies of heresy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad about all of this, as this sadness is a judgement, and not myself here, as being this judgement despite the odds will do nothing to change these odds, as all there is is to walk one and equal to this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I feel like I have been kicking and screaming in and as myself for so long, that I have been trying to scratch my way out of a coffin, that I fear never being able to get out of this coffin whose form and design I cannot fathom, or believed I could not fathom, and I fear the very constrictions I have accepted and allowed, that just as i drive in my car and fear having an accident, where it feels like I feel that I cannot see, I cannot hear, I will not see what is coming towards me from the other lane.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all I can be is here, where within common sense I am here, and not as some emotion, thought or feeling based on belief, opinion and idea composing an alternate reality picture of fear of loss superimposed on what is freely giving here as this earth, manifest as a profit based system ( I wrote eyetem!) that places monetary value on (eye) items instead of supporting what is actually physically here as the value as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that instead of moving automatically here, with what is real, I have accepted and allowed a persona/character to develop equal and one to itemized values of property signifying ownership and thus survival, where the schmuck possession is the survival eyetem totem of worship and not the substance of what is freely given here as life, one and equal to myself here, expressing itself as life, this that has been told to man, to not worship as a false god, as no totems are needed, as what is here is the real say/expression as life, the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a supernatural coffin of energy as directive creating uncertainty and fear to exist, as this supernatural directive has no value or substance.
I commit myself to slowing down, to breathing here, to taking in what is here as one and equal to me, and within this supporting what is here, where any reaction energetically , as emotionally or within feeling, as compounded thought to what is here is a judgment and a fear of loss, a fear of survival.
I commit myself to letting go of characters of blame, and shame, to a persona of ideas that support a limited idea if what it is that I am, where , yes I am a woman, and a human, and as this my responsibility is to include all that is here manifest on this earth, where i cannot judge any form of what is here, as this is a composition of life, and it is only myself within a limited resonant design that disallows equal consideration for all that is here, through the placement of value judgments on property instead of what is the composition of said property, which is life, one and equal in and as all forms within this existence.
I commit myself to no longer commit to a system of separation through aggrandizement of what can be conquered and divided to allow a few to control eyetems for self interested survival, as this requires separation from life in expression here.
I commit myself to directing myself in common sense of my equality to and as life here, realizing that moving within and as fear is simply a lack of communication and understanding of life in totality, that the only choice is to breath and move within common sense directing within and as this within the principle of equality and oneness.
I commit myself to remaining in and as breath, to hear, to see, to sense what is physically here, to hear here, and forgive the say, as the dictate of a belief of a system that has not supported life, and has in fact failed to support life, evident in the rampart of abuse as the pyramid of separation of an imposed hierarchy of more than and less than called capitalism, or any centralized regime as all have been ignorant of life support as what has existed is within the say of self survival interest.
I commit myself to physically feel what is physically here and to no longer fear myself as life, to bring all of myself here as life, forgiving the say of eyetem value as self definition.
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