Day 611 The FearObligationGuilt of Doubt separating myself from using doubt to cross reference reality.

Doubt.

There have been times when I face limitation, and I begin to doubt. Sometimes it is moving into self judgement, as an act of comparison to limited values, I stop and I breath, I slow down, I accept myself as who and what I am in as far as the shape of my nose etc.

But in being aware of space and time, I realize I have to reassess what is here as much as I am able, so that when I speak it is as close to common sense as I can possibly be, it is much like playing in tune on a violin. In playing there comes a point where one just senses in some way when something is in tune, one has to really listen without listening if that makes sense.

So, doubt is a lot like this, I can get stuck in an idea that I do not know well enough to explain, as in not having enough sense of detail and or, the sense of swimming in uncertainty where a sense of listening is no longer being used. And then, in allowing a belief, as being in separation from listening here, one gets caught in fearing a loss, but there is no loss, as there is only listening here. 

And like playing the violin one needs structure to express. So, one’s memory has to move with structure, not the past, but the here, as this physical world. Then does one know the score.  So, if one’s inner self is not mirroring the outer world, developing a sense of it, then one is not here in understanding, and then one cannot grow, thus the control of the imagination by media and knowledge and information without practical application is a crime against life, which means the  pyramid scheme in place though financial structures that suppress life will never work and cannot work, it is a useless endeavor. It will lead no nowhere. The mind must be here, equal and one with the physical world.

We are like computers where we build neurons that map this world, the physical can grow sensibility to function here, with great plasticity, like humans are a self building robot when given what is needed to build as the nutrients as things that are the same as on this earth- so to speak. If our access is enclosed in a box, and we are feed pictures with drama, we are distracted from reality, overall, and we become a chaos, in separation from the physical world, which is what is happening. Our children are so in separation  and the fantasy is a program that disconnects the child from life, from the physical world. They are not given, or allowed access to substantiating structure, and/or the lack thereof takes a lifetime to correct and then life as passed and the flesh is consumed by the television imagination as mind, a state of inequality to life, here. Thus potential cannot be reached. Thus the present system is one of insanity, and is life in destruction.

It must be forgiven,  because it cannot work.  We are like walking bubbles of snow storm, and this is the valley of the shadow of good and evil, the self in separation from life.

Life was for us to become creators and for this to happen, each must become equal and one to the physical, remembering self with substance that forms the physical, seeing the parts and the whole.

So, all insult is the bully of limitation and cannot define us unless we accept and allow it. Insult has no solution.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear insult.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to doubt

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become doubt as an end game and to not look at doubt as a sign to cross reference my sense of here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am obligated to stand as the beliefs of another as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cloud myself as mind into a thought of fear of loss, as in guilt, as an idea that respect means to accept another's ideas, beliefs, opinions as valid and that this is the end of the line, when this is building understanding of a starting point that can then be moved into what is best for all, as in cross referencing reality, here, no matter what, to realize in thought word and deed that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear insult

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, and to see, realize and understand that doubt is simply a sense that I can reconnect, to realign, to check alignment to expand in awareness in practical common sense of physical reality, to investigate here, as this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I can stop, slow down and breathe, and say out loud, okay, I want to cross reference something, to investigate the form as belief, opinion and idea here, to take a look and reconsider what is best for all, as this is the only choice to reach the full potential of myself as life here, as what is best for self, is best for all

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, when and as I become doubt, to simply say, wait a moment, I am doubting what I am saying, and want to recheck, to investigate, to rebook here, to make sure I am clear in where I stand, as life changes in every moment and nothing is fixed, and yet here is understandable, because life would life, and for life to exist each point must be aware of itself ,as to be life is to share life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become locked in doubt.

I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to tense up, in and as my chest area, to doubt, to fear being wrong, and to move into righteousness, into blame and spite, where I project justifications in a belief that something outside of myself is a hinderance forgoing my own gift as myself as life as an innate ability to sense reality in quality, duration, extent, dimension, movement, development, substance, my resistance as rejection of here into a belief to ostensively   protect myself from a personal idea of fear of loss,  for example, that I must be perfect or that something bad will happen if my words are not accepted in a way that leads to immediate mutual understanding , not seeing realizing and understand that every moment is change, and that change can be realized in every moment, thus doubt is a gift to fine tune oneself, like double checking oneself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear exposing a moment of doubt as though having a doubt means there is something wrong with me, as though I am supposed to be certain in every moment, which is a belief that distracts, a stagnant inner act of self interest in separation from here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that it is with all life as every form around me that I understand myself here, as this is creative play, thus, interacting with all of the physical world, considering it,  is the way and the means to the end as in creating in ways that do no harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that bullying is arguing limitations, and as such cannot define who and what I am, as it is the physical that defines who and what I am.

When and as I find myself reacting to my own sense of doubt, and moving into an energetic reaction of inferiority, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself here,, grounding myself in practical reality as the physical, and I assess practically what it means to be life, what it means to exist as a physical beingness here, to take that which is good and does no harm, and to see, realize and understand that I am a physical beingness that as life can investigate this physical world and understand what is best for all.

When and as I find myself making doubt larger than life, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I humble myself, ground myself, become thankful, gracious and give gratitude to reality as in respecting what it means to be a physical being, because the physical is the way and the means of life here, because the physical is life in expression.

Day 604 Despair and Space and Time, Self Forgiveness

Despair, I have been talking with my son about relationships and reactions when facing other people.

I gave him some perspective. I realized  later that the perspective I gave him I had not applied myself, or had applied recently and discovered something about being patient and gentle, within the understanding that being patient moved me through into a mutual understanding with another instead of a reaction leading to a mis-understanding.

Within being patient, I was not reacting, but standing the ground within what brought solution, which gave direction.What I found in this instance, specifically was that in repeating myself when talking with another, often lead to a point of understanding. Structurally, this patient repetition, a spaced repetition, through a storm of resistance, the argument of limitation as what one feared or believed that had no real stability, meant for me to remain within being gentle, humble and consistent in my words through this storm of reaction as belief that was in essence not clear, as it was based on some inner desire instead of what made sense in a physical world. Interesting that the physical world is always here, all ways here, bringing the practical movement, holding one gently if we only accepted it and allowed it because it shows the way of no harm, the way of creation, and all the parts that order in ways that are good.

I had spent time with another person, and it took time, with many moments where I felt uncertain, believing that my words were not getting through, as though I made an idol of my words, wanting instant and immediate understanding without realizing that reaching through automated self expression meant working one’s way through this to a point where this exhausted itself and an opening appeared where that point of vulnerability arrived and one stood there open because all had been said, because all had been exposed and either one resisted another or accepted them. but it is this point where within that vulnerability a connection can be made. For me, it was more like, “ yes I have listened, taken the good, and I am here, and I am not rejecting you, I am still here” Overall, this created a situation of calm, of acceptance, of a seemingly safe place to be where each could be themselves.

In the space and time measure, as the rhythm of things moving here, on this earth, conceptually the length and duration of these movements can be understood and timed within a practical application that considers these things, and yet if we have not learned to interact with all of this conceptually, like listening to an orchestral piece, we do not develop the means to direct ourselves here, and our memories are not of the practice of becoming aware of this space and time construct we live in.

The very use of time as a measure as our system, is what places a rigidity into our lives that separates us from practical reality, and yet the measure of space and the duration of the expression of what is here, is a measuring that self empowers each of us. So, the parts are not bad, but when used to separate as control into limitation of being aware, are such means a distraction from reality. And yet what started this? Was it each of us, because we chose to ignore one thing over another, not realizing what in essence what we were doing was comparing apples to oranges instead of seeing creation for what it is, an expression of which we were the same, and of which could change, so one form was us in another form, and that that other form could direct us into more understanding and discovery to the point where we could further play as creators of life information?

So, when I despair, I essentially have believed there was no way through, but here I have to ask myself to where I was going through to? I had to slow down and become equal in understanding with the moment, which means looking at reality and not the shadows of belief in and as my mind, from a system that propagated thinking over cross referencing practical reality, because being caught in thought only, was being in a metaphysical construction, a paranormal existence that forgot reality, and lost the movement of forgiving to the physical total state of being to cross reference what was for real and this being all of existence.

In despair I have lost a sense of space, and become the measure of my belief system, one that is extremely limited as mind. As mind is dependent on the physical, it has its own space to exist, and as such it lasts in bursts. As it has no real substance, and as it exists in the wobble of limitation, which is denial, and then moves into justification, it reaches a point of play out and then opens the silence, and thus the space to assess and realize separation. Structurally, if I stand as what is best for all, and repeat this, in the moment, if my words are clear, and I am open to change in subtle degree within that which is good and does no harm, that can remain. This need nothing other than being gentle and patient, because the strength of what can withstand the test of time , need only be gentle, much like the water on this earth is gentle. Even water can be gentle when frozen, all fluffed up as snow, and even steam can be gentle, washing around one warming the skin. lol.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to despair

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to use my own common sense as who I am as life to sense space and the imposition of time as a regimented system of control based on a belief stuck in comparison moving into competition because of a separation from creation as life information, as sound formation that just as water can change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an idea defines me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot change.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to accept what is here in this moment, and to stand here in this moment accepting what is here, understanding it and enjoying it as life, as it reflects me to me, where I then can change in my understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to criticize another in support of my own self interest as idea believing that something will be lost if an idea I have about myself changes.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that creation is always creating, and as such, changes, which means I am in constant change, and yet this is the way and the means into understanding creation here, accepting life information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be patient, without fear of change, as the physical does not change in an instant, but transforms, thus change is a process, one that moves in ways that I can understand and participate within and as myself as the very words I know, to commune with life as the physical, to participate in creation as what I am.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become patient and gentle and humble, in my interactions with the physical life around me, to slow down and equalize with this creation, to see directly the muse of creation, of which I am an equal substance of and as, and as such to not despair, but to join in the community of life as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush within the game of survival, as ideas, beliefs and opinions as mind, a metaphysical existence of self interest and self aggrandizement in separation from remaining equal and one in conceptual consideration and respect of all life, which is the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and remain within and as my common sense, gentle and humble as what sense here is and does, to see realize and understand the measure of here as the physical and the mind in separation that cries limitation - that runs out of steam, that compares and within comparison fears a loss of self definition and competes to validate a self definition that is overall a separation from self as life and creation.

When and as I find myself reacting to limitation and self validation, within and without, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, to become patient and gentle, which is to fear no loss, to place myself within what holds me as the silence of eternity, to stand in cross reference of physical reality within and as what does no harm, and what self empowers another to understand the practical measuring of here is forgiving of and as common sense to see function and form which  gives answers when questioned to look at the parts and understand, taking the time to realize physical creation to then move in ways that do no harm.

When and as find myself moving into resistance as to what another says as idea, belief, and opinion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow, and that form can be understood, assessed, examined and considered and then directed in practical common sense ways as this is the capacity of myself as life here, as this is with all men, as physical being on earth, when given the space and time and support physically to do so as each is the very substance of and as life here.

When and as I find myself believing that all is lost, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I realize the nature of myself as life is like water, that the common sense of me as me, is gentle and can cross reference reality here and understand the space and form as the physical in creation and investigate with the innate ability of and as me to cross reference and take in information here, to self empower me to take that which is good and does no harm.

When and as I find myself moving into despair, I stop and I breathe and I forgive myself to practical reality, understanding that with spaced repetition I can stand in thought word and deed within and as what is best for all here.

Day 574 How did I remove negativity from my life?

I realized that we live in a practical physical world. I realized that the thoughts I have are of opinion, idea and belief. I learned that these thoughts are often a judgement, in itself not a good or a bad, but when allowed to be a final definition in a physical existence, a limitation, and that allowing of limitation being a behavior of resistance and a fear to change, which overall is rejecting this world around me, this world that is life in expression.

I realized that what another thinks, cannot define me unless I accept and allow it. I realized that what another thinks, is a thought about what is here as life, a thought that one thing can somehow be more than another, when a cup, for all practical purposes, is a cup. That some people are tall, and some are short, that a dog is a dog, that what is here as a form has a function that reveals its nature more than any idea about a thing.

I realized that the arguing of limitations are all based on ideas, opinions and beliefs. I realized that this thinking has communicated a system that is the likeness of this limitation, and that this has been accepted by men to be what is real, when it is not. Yet, this started with each of us, within each of us, as we believed we are defined by ideas instead of what is physically here as life. I realized that the thoughts of another, are composed of the parts of what exists, as the qualities that describ the actual physical world. I realized that what is negative is the lag that I accept as belief that is what mind is and does.

I realized that I am negativity when I force an idea on another without cross referencing practical reality. I realized that what is real, is myself as the very matter of beingness here, in expression.

I realize that an idea about what I am, is not the same as being here, practically with physical matter. When I allow idea before matter/physical, without cross reference and undersanding that matter is built of what I allow, and that what I allow must only be what is best for all, because what I am is dependent on all of the physical, as I am a part of a whole, of which the whole is who I am as I am the very substance of life, so I cannot lose anything. What I believe I am losing is only a thought in and as my mind, and it is a letting go of one idea and moving into another a reflection only, and that this is mind, and that I have been only looking at shadows on a wall, a techno colored wall of shadow that is the mind. When the mind as shadows directs me, defines me, and I move as this limitation without reference to here as the physical, I cause consequences that consume me as I get caught up in putting out the fires ignited by lack of respect for existence as the physical world.

I realize that I have allowed the projection of myself as mind, an abstract of the physical, built of the physical image, to define me, where I reject qualities and push them away, creating a negative as I want my idea to become a positive, as an accepted and validated image and likeness that I desire for myself. I realize that I am overall, a negative, a destructive force in existing as a projection of one thing being more than another as I walk in comstant mis-association as self definition composed of ideas, and beliefs and opinions, as thought that accumulated as I allow them to spin and generate an emotional feeling body that I then call my intuition, all of which is an entity that is in separation from practical physical reality. I then allow this limited value system to define me, and I am then lost in negatives and positives, composed of ideas, accumulating into a limited character. So, I accept and self forgive these self definitions as thoughts, and I realize that my emotional/feeling body is my past of value creation to define me based on my exposure without consideration of the whole world around me. This is myself accepting the negative and the positive and bringing this back down to practical reality, here.

This is how, I rebuild, through self forgiveness and self corrective application, done in writing to place my creation of separation, a negative to run from and a positive to define me, an act that is an ignorance of practical reality overall. As this I forgve the negative as the fear of simply being here, and accept what is here, and build self trust, which is an ease in moving myself here. In essence, I became a practivist, because as this, here is not negative, there is the acceptance of the gift of life, and the practical means to direct in respect of this life here that is physical.

Day 549 The journey to life is to rule equal to the measure of the physical.

I had a conversation with someone where they talked about a friend who had put together some entertainment to raise money for breast cancer.

So what is good here and what can be changed into understanding what we as humans are doing and the sense of it practically?

Organizing a show, this is cool.

Performing is cool too.

Singing songs about the tragedy of breast cancer? Why are we not in joy, singing songs about life lived to the fullest? Why are we not playing with sounds in ways that teach about sound, meaning using sound to do more than wallow in tragedy or become excited by an idea of a “ perfect relationship,” or righteous about wrongs  becoming blame instead of solution ?

Why do we allow a congress of men and state governors, who are allowing ordinances that prohibit feeding homelessness, suddenly, in an economy that uses half its revenues for war. ( and here I wonder if the 'drug war' and the 'war against cancer' is included in the 

“ war budget.” as the liability placed into taxes as subsidies?) 

We all know, if we investigate, that the revenue from charity and from taxes is supporting a war, a war using emotions and feelings, the good and the bad, judgement, a limited story recited as just division of how earth’s freely given resources are formed and moved, utilized and distributed in form and function. As it is the physical that is what is real and nothing else, so the real story cannot be hidden.

 

We also know how to produce food that is sustaining, both within and without. 

We understand that children that have a very large vocabulary tend to to well in school. And we know that a lack of opportunity creates a person who lacks skills, and the fear that is insecurity structurally within, builds a person who has no self directive capacity, so even here, if we allow a lack of access to our children having a solid foundation built of simple common sense of how the physical works, and how the physical works is understood because of the amount of innovation going on, then why do we not see, realize and understand that territorial resource controls, and wars on health, and wars to move drugs around, have nothing to do with supporting life?  That these wars are control mechanisms for few to maintain an idea of needing to control the systemic form of flow of resources as an order on earth that is the reverse of life? 

War and disease are big business, created from economic strife, which means creating a survival game on earth. At this point in time, there is so much understanding and innovation being done, even by 14 year olds, that we understand how to use energy that does no, or very little, harm to the environment.

The word, to govern stems from Latin word, gubenare, which means to steer, to rule. To “ rule” means to measure. So, someone who steers really is measuring the world around them. We have inverted this, and forced a measure based on self interest, and abdicate our natural ability to measure to a limited measure as in internal abstract of reality, called mind, that is what is steering the use of resources, freely given, as the physical means of life information/expression. And we believe that measure,  based on the mental picture that is flat, lacking dimension is a real life, a real measure. If we steer from this limited measure we become in conflict of the physical, because we are not considering all dimension of the physical - this that is composed of a building blocks of atoms that function in knowable practical ways - did we not then how have we allowed drugs to be touted by a written law to be the means of a cure? So, on the one hand we pass a law saying “ we know” and on the other hand within consequence of such supposed knowing, we continue to have cancer- for example? We cannot say we know how atoms work with how electrons transfer, and use this is create drugs that we force onto people, and then say we don’t know at the same time! This is essentially saying I know when it is my monetary/control interest, but then personally saying “ I don’t know.”  So, we have created and allowed a bring forward knowing for the corp, but when questioned we become personal entities that don’t know! That is snake like, forked tongue behavior, that is demonic, that is what it means to be demonic, to be a measure that shift's responsibility in ways to not have to answer in common sense!  And then if someone points this allowed self measure of limitation out, a response is “ I don’t like people “ like”/ ( that have a measure of and as) you!  Hissssssssssssss. And then the inner quantum mind begins to shake as its FALL - I -SEE does not want to admit its limited measure!

We can have no real power of creation, is we allow ourselves to own a memory that has no real measure of that which holds the memory, which is a para-sight as mind only, without cross reference of the principle means of life, which is the physical. If we allow a governing system that rules/measures by self interest as a system of usury that moves through the debt of interest that only exists by taking principle, then we allow a ruler/measuring device as a man, or a small measure of men, to steer- and this done from a point of overview that is just another measure as perspective. 

But if the “ view” is a picture as mind only, without cross reference, then the whole is forgotten, and the idea of para-mount (ed) inFORM as a projected para-sight becomes the rule/measure. 

Sounds like television. But what came first, the outer structure as our present “ rule of measure system’ or the inner accumulated SELF inner-rest of men as mind? What have we as personification measure of life accepted and allowed? Where are we not responsible and as such respectful of what is physical right in front of us?

A child is born with an ability to begin to measure this world. What is placed as knowledge and information to them, is what they become. If this measure placed within is one that is allowed constant cross reference with respect to practical form and function of physical reality on which the child depends to be life, than the child becomes equal to the rule/measure of the physical on which it depends. If not,  then the child has difficulty steering itself as the expression of life that it is.

Thus, we can become life. We have the gift of the physical to steer us into a rule of measure that is equal and one to and as life, as the physical, here. It is only limitation that believes it’s limitation to be more than life, that limitation is the mind developed lacking the use of common sense in respect, with every breath, of the physical. It is the accepted and allowed measure as a inner map made larger than life, it is what one has owned as a self definition, and just like television, one is allowing this to be one’s vision based on an inner ruling measure that has forgotten a respect and thus responsibility to and as the means of life, which is the physical. The steering, ruling measure within must be equal and one, respectful of, the means of life, which is the physical. 

This separation has accumulated for eons, it is time to stop because this separation is destroying the physical world, and as such life. It is time to use what we have created in ways that allow each the time and space to realign the inner measure that we have allowed to rule us, to remeasure, and re-rule, practical physical reality, to respect and be responsible to the physical gift of life. This is to give each the security within basic needs, which is clean water, shelter, education, and food. It is time to equalize ourselves to the physical which is the structural form of life expression. This  would be fun, and each would begin to stand, because what we all are looking for is the journey to life, and it is here right in front of us.