Day 669the presence of a wall of memories; the effort to speak as a child.

What is a wall?

I woke up this morning with this word in  my head. I realize the sense of a ‘ wall’ around me is my own making. It only defines me if I accept and allow it.

I also heard a statement about the nature of Astrological signs this week. The woman said that water signs tend to be boundless. Funnily enough, in the group, the water signs were all on the edges of the group, where they could escape, remaining on the borders. 

Being of such a nature means that one can absorb everything and yet not be bound by it unless accepted and allowed, since one can change beliefs, opinions and ideas held within one, meaning one is not bound by such. And yet, this is a means to an end, meaning that one can understand something and let it go and change. One can expand perspective, learn and become more aware. Yet if the starting point is one of believing that one can be bound, and has a character of being boundless, then one is reacting to form, as belief, opinion and idea.

So the statement that one is boundless means that that quality of making the choice to be boundless is the same quality that can understand something for a moment and transform. Because the idea of being boundless means one is constantly transforming, as in rejecting and accepting what one chooses to believe, especially on a physical planet where it takes practical. measurable steps to get things done. If things are done in practical ways then what is real is right in front of us. When I am acting boundless, I am rejecting what is here, fearing to address it, fearing to call it by name and accepting the quality of it, and interacting with it in practical common sense ways.

Hence resistances are my own wall. My physical body tenses to resist what I believe will cause me harm. Because this belief is a measure within me, as an idea, it is myself in separation from being present in what enables me to live , and that is the physical world around me.

I have accepted a wall of belief, and that wall of belief becomes what binds me in limited ways. 

I recently had a memory come up of myself pushing myself to talk as a child. The memory is like an emotional veil. 

It was such an effort to do this, as though I was clenching myself within myself to ex-press the words I was playing with as sound. The anxiety behind this was great. Such a huge effort it seemed. 

Within the memory,  is the perspective of this, meaning the whole focus of myself was on moving myself within myself. My presence, like my eyes, were focused on this movement within me.

A memory can therefor me, a measure, a movement, a tiny slice of time and space. And each memory is like a different measure of movement, like currents in an ocean; some move slow because they are of such a simple movement within me, and others are fast moving, cluttered with debris as zip filed thoughts that are of belief, opinion and idea creating a story of justification for what has been created within that moves one, defines one, and ultimately separates one from being focused and present. In a way, it is a tying of all of this together, where one walks backwards, so to speak, through all of this and begins to see what was constructed with what builds memories within and a perspective of seeing not only this memorized within, and also, in tandem with, what is without as what is the real physical world that was there, that we each were within, become culture and language built personalities that became larger than life.

Who am I within what I accept and allow as beliefs, opinions and ideas? Since what is within is constructed, because it was not there when I was born, or until what seeds were planted as such states of being as the adults around me imbedded as measures of perspective within my DNA,  resonant because they are a form, a memory that can zip file information, what was I before all of this, even as the adults of my exposure and imitation,  around me walking in bubbles of a within made larger than life?

Measurable and math mathematically, this means I am built of what I am exposed to. This means that what is within me, must be equal in measure to seeing directly what is without that is me. This means that in the order of real living, my within must be cross referenced to what is without. This means that real trust, the trust of life, the acceptance of life, must be to realize equality and oneness to the physical. This is accepting everything as life, as creation.

This means that there is only here. 

I ask myself why there was so much anxiety attached in this memory to moving my body in such a way to be able to start speaking words? Was it that I only had words within a context of the beliefs, opinions and ideas of the humans standing within my environment? Was it that what I imitated was a different world than the world around me? Was it that I feared becoming this paranormal activity? Probably.

I notice in my chest, a movement that is not whole, and instead it is more like a hole, where what moves within this, is not sound, instead it feels like it pours out a racing thing, a film thing. I can answer it more, perhaps if I look at this from another angle. It is like it fears taking in other forms. and the consequence is that it is ‘ of an effort’ to change outside of pictures and ideas within and as me. I notice that in some instances taking in information about ‘ finances on the world stage’ is a genre/formation/structure that I have great difficulty with. I have to in these instances really slow down and assess the information as though it is so foreign to me. I tell myself that it is  a measure, a form that can be understood with continued assessment. The contrast of this change to assess this form, as the financial part of the present system,  exists in contrast to what races within my heart/chest that is like a thing as a measure as a form, that resists changing itself.  And yet, this is where I notice at times I can reform myself within understanding others areas of living, as in assessing how to organize some spatial thing in my direct world, my home- for example.

The anxiety comes up in some things my mind projects as words, as statements, such as; I can’t see that,” or “ I can’t grasp that,’ “ must get this”.

There is a sense that I really do not see the consequences of what I am doing. I am only imitating the world around me as trying to fit into what exists be it good or bad, right or wrong, and yet there is a thread of dread in some respects as though this short circuits the physical as me.

I can feel the anxiety of speaking within this, accumulating in my solar plexus, and then moving into my chest to flow out in a way that is of information that does not tell the whole story. It skims the surface.  When I become more ‘ boundless’ I notice that I am being change, and within this, the absence of anxiety happens, as less accumulates within my solar plexus, as I am busy assessing more than what is within me, I am slowing down and also sensing form and function of what is here. The red flag being when the information that is me, has to change and there is resistance because that information is not congruent with being present and here.

As a musician, I always has this sense that words were do limited, so one-dimensional. They moved too slowly to really have a presence in wholeness. Music seemed so much more a means of expressing a greater measure in a moment. And yet, words were sound too. Seeming contradiction.   One of the designs of our present system is that it does not allow for the time it takes to investigate. Yet is we are racing as a within that is not equal to what is without, we lose an innate ability to assess and understand form and structure around us, and hence we build a structure within that is in a relationship with limitation instead of complete understanding. This becomes what so many have accepted and allowed, which is a personality that has no real responsibility. And that is a crime against one’s self, a crime against life. No wonder so many are standing up and speaking about what is unacceptable in this world, and which is not placed on the mainstream media, because what is being expressed that is unacceptable, does not fit into the limitation that supports the limitation as one’s acceptance and allowances within one’s personification that is a metaphysical inner construct as one’s memory. 

I will do some self forgiveness in relation to the anxiety I felt as this memory, about speaking words, using this physical body to speak words using what I imitated around me, that caused a suppression that manifested as emotions accumulating in my solar plexus, and being formed into words that did not tell the whole story and therefor lacked a wholeness within my chest area.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was an extra-ordinary effort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was a huge effort

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get so caught in speaking words that I did not notice the effects of this on my physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was a child, attempting to behave as the adults in my world around me, and that to do this, I had to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel very exhausted within summoning all of myself to move my physical body into speaking words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within and as speaking words, and becoming at the same time exhausted within and as doing this, that I did not assess what I had done, as I simply accepted this without investigating what the consequence of this was within and as me.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I became so focused on the words and the effort to speak words that being aware of anything outside of that was ignored.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what my physical body as myself was doing was learning something new, placing into practice as me, some new formation of what I as a physical form could be and do,  that my focus on that and the praise I received for this,  distracted me from what I existed as before, that was what reformed to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that in being able to speak words I was somehow more that what I was in contrast to before being able to speak words as the only value I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is okay to enjoy speaking as in participating in some means of expression as speaking words, yet not to make this a more than, a greater value, something to be proud of as in an end game value  to define who and what I am, where realizing that this change and self expression with the physical is movement and living, and that this is ongoing, meaning it is being present, participating in creation in expression, as this is eternal and cannot be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I find myself accumulating emotional bodies within and as my solar plexus, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand where I am resisting investigating measure and form around me, as this is information that is not what I have accepted and allowed as a belief, as a measure within and as me. hence I slow down and I change within and as me, what I have accepted and allowed and the means of this, to reform through assessment and evaluation and realize that I can express this movement into considering all things, my own acceptances and allowances and what is without structurally, until I realize a form that is whole, as in directive into expanding awareness so my within can be equal and focused without, stable, grounded and at ease, as this is the absence of emotions and feelings of lack, comparison, resistance in competition of aggrandizing my within as ideas, beliefs and opinions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ this is too hard’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ I can’t do this,’ or “ I can’t grasp this,” or “ must get this.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not matching the words of another.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding the fun of this, over all, as speaking words and moving my physical body  as the means of expression which is fun and means that I am the director of what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the sounds that I emit, to fear making sounds, in fear of making a mistake, when learning means that one must attempt formation, and that means becoming equal in measure to something, which takes time and involves making mistakes, as this is the way and the means of realizing where I am not in total understanding of something, as this is by nature a process.

When and as I find myself tensing up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I assess the thoughts and the emotional veils of memory from my past and the reactions I had within that memory, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I am here, that that which builds is that which can reform and move into transforming who and what I am here, surrounded by creation as the physical, and within the construct of separation as the present system, and myself as a personality composed of limited measures in separation from being grounded and whole, equal and one to all life, which includes that physical as this is what is here before a mind consciousness was accepted and allowed to be bigger than life itself.

When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that the past as memory is no longer what I am here, and that the means to building my memory, as my experience, within the present system is the means of change, the means of slowing down, assessing and investigating what is here, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

When and as I find myself tensing up and/or feeling anxious,  I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess, investigate, evaluate, my within mind consciousness and the without as the physical world that is at the moment influenced by the limited measure accepted and allowed my myself,  and I follow through in practical application what accepted and allowed judgements as lacks within and as me that I believed protected and defended my accepted separation from respecting all life as me, here, and I ground myself through forgiving my own beliefs, opinions and ideas, based on a past where I followed and imitated my without, absent consideration of all things, as I accepted and allowed self interest before respect for all things.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I become equal and one as the living word here, to ground my within, in and as my chest area to speaking in wholeness in what is in consideration of all things, as the physical as this is life information, here.

When and as I find myself skimming the surface of reality and the measure of accepted and allowed limited beliefs, opinions and ideas to define me as my within, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that I am possible as who and what I am, life, here.

When and as I sense  a wall around and as me, as a sense of resistance to what is here around me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that the real “ wall’ is the all, of and as me as us, as we, here, as the physical, and I assess and investigate my within and the without, until my personified wall of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as memories, as experiences, as data, as measure, are self forgiven in equality and oneness with and as the physical here, becoming a living word that is in tandem with life, as being the consideration of all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to plant a seed of information equal and one to and as life, here.

Day 406 Programming and the word.

Programming and the Word.

Words are structures, they explain/show/describe an expression, as a noun, or a movement as a verb, or a characteristic, as an adjective or how something moves as an adverb, If our words are not clear, as in being equal to what is here in fact, then we are not clear. We have the words as the structures to be clear here and to share this clarity.

If words can be programmed in, and our words are not clear in meaning, them are we as the words, as the program clear?  I mean, are we programming the human to be here? Or are we like the NSA, creating stories based on the past to suit a purpose of survival, of gain in self interest?

Think about how we use words: Your daughter is drawing on a wall, and you are occupied with paying that bill, or making that deadline, or ill with disease. So, you say to your daughter, in a rush - due to your limited “ hereness” as you are occupied - don’t draw on that wall. Your daughter tests here, to understand here, to make sure she gets the program as the words correctly and turns and draws on the wall again. Now, you say, “ Please do not draw on that wall, because then you will not get any of the cake that is on the table” ( In a real sweet voice because you think is you say it nice enough, she will listen - but she is listening!)  So, now, your daughter will once again draw on that wall, and look at the cake to see if it disappears. I mean, according to the words, this is clear.  So, now you are aggravated, and thinking why do I have to deal with this, and become agitated and reprimand your daughter for the superstition you have taught. A superstition of ambiguity, a superstition that is lack, as what superstition is in fact. Will your daughter have any trust in you? You have just taught your daughter that your words do not describe what is here!

Not only has your daughter been programmed with a superstition, a dis-clarity,  a non full disclosure ( and we wonder why our government does this! As within so without.) she has also been programmed with your state of being as being partially here, as the separation of what occupies your mind as your survival suit behaviors, this spinning around of you as mind caused because of your own programmed lack of understanding here, the physical in detail,  your own superstition in separation from equality to physical practical common sense.

And then we wonder why our children grow up without common sense? We wonder how they can become limited as ideas, opinions and beliefs that are a lesser awareness, and thus a superstition of no real integrity? Their common sense is a sense of  “knowing” without being given any real structure, any real clarity. And then, they go to school and cannot answer as this common sense, this knowing, and begin to lose all self confidence. And the behaviors at home, are an emotional mess of  “ I know, I know” yelled out in a cry, and the storm gets bigger, and the lack of confidence gets bigger and bigger, and all communication stops.

Also, as teenagers our children no longer want to listen to us, we can’t understand why they do not realize that we have their own interests at heart ( well most of the time)? According to our words as our programs, we were not clear, so how can we be trusted when we are not clear and do not realize how much we move as superstition?

For me, it is an odd twist to the construct of myself, to realize this. And to deconstruct this, I shake, as I have to change the superstitious habit of myself and this involves going against the grain of my own superstitious programming. I have to realize every time I begin to shake that it is just myself filling in the spaces of lack to “ right” myself equal to here, to bear witness to life, to become a person of integrity, to have substance as life, to walk through the fear that is superstition. It is interesting to walk into fear, as there is nothing there, but this is the point. There is nothing there because there was nothing equalized to life, to here, to practical physical reality. How long did I cling to an idea as an invisible hand, or invisible market forces, or a god on high? All these propagated and programmed superstitions that are causing the harm on earth, as they lack any understanding, any real witness to life.

On one hand this is why it is so difficult to figure here out, because of a programmed mind of limitations, and therefor not necessarily bad, the lack, the inequality to physical reality. And we, as mind spend all our time trying to find answers in the knowledge and information that is either not applied to the physical in detail, or/and is believed to be more than reality, or is filled with holes, meaning lack, a separate reality that becomes a directive that has no real substance.

So, we get all emotional, trying to get others to believe our sense through a vocabulary of lack, our superstition, and this program that we believe to be so real, is not understood by others because their superstitions are of a slightly different measure and they are following their superstitions, believing this to be real. So, like in the Novel The Tin Drum, we are basically all fighting one another, and screaming all the time our own lack expecting others to read between the lines. as this is the program coming out.  No one can hear us because we really have no integrity, no substance, as we are a lesser self lost in superstition made god, made directive,  where we push away that which would make our superstition clear, here and because we fear losing our ideological self, our idiot self, our personas, our survival suits - at this point because this inequality to reality has manifested without, as we have created this through sounding the superstition again and again and again until the sound of this reverberates through all of earth- our superstitious selfs as mind. Ironically we fear losing our lack.  lol

In all, this process shows us that we are able to take in even overcomplicated superstition, which means we are able to learn, to understand, even if it is mis-understanding, and there is a lot of mis-understanding on this earth - just open the newspaper and read the news and you will see the outplay of superstition all over the earth, our accepted behaviors of lack, our rejection of what is real the physical, life. Here, many walk in self pity, believing that no one understands them. What has not been under-stood/supported is life. Thus, until all life is supported, we as ourselves as life are not supported and we as ourselves as life cannot be what we are. So, we are all alone in our superstitious state of not being understood, thus the pity patter can stop. The good news is that you are not alone is “ feeling” that no one understands, because none of us is allowing ourselves to feel as life! 

The program has to be cleaned up, ordered in clarity. And, yes, this will cause a shaking up of the superstitious programs that are only  a lack, a separation from life, where the parts are not all good or bad, simply a partial story that is not equal and one to and as the actual real physical world. You have been had and this will continue if we accept and allow the superstition to be what we are.

We have allowed our words to become a cross of lack that we bear/bare the separation from life, and yet, the word is the key, the structure, to becoming a living person, here.

Eqafe.com - Interviews to understand how we got to where we are, and what we are as life. Many are FREE.

Equal Life Guarantee - to begin to get this life in order of equality and oneness with and as the physical as what is real.

Desteni I Process Lite - To begin to realize the emotional storm created through accepted and allowed separation from life.

Day110 The frightening wall of separation

I remember being in a school and feeling like there was a wall around me as I walked down the hallway. I saw the wall as a distance between myself and the people in the hall way, like I could not reach them and they could not see me. I remember being frightened by this. Frightened… fheightened- freiheightened- heightened frei , was this a moment of having a view of the wall, over the wall, the totality of the wall? My wall?

With my castle/cloak/film/ halo/ broadcast tower/archive/ projection:propulsion  bubble/energetic storm-creating inequality/havoc somehow sensed in this moment?

I was a walking anti-matter, self interested, blind organic robot, looking out/over/through my own picture show of judgment. I am an organic computer programmer so lost within my program I cannot even see what is real.

My halo.

All of us want out of our castles. Yet we do not know the password, the code to get out. There is a solution. It is self forgiveness, writing and corrective application within the principle of what is best for all. The principle of oneness in equality. The message of Jesus, to love your neighbor as yourself, to give as you would like to receive. The code is within each and every one of us, it is life, as even a virus cannot exist without life.

The tools are within us as the physical body, speaking the words of self forgiveness , writing, self corrective application.

It is time to rebuild this earth, to build heaven and earth, equal and one.

Remember yourself as life, instead of spreading yourself, distancing yourself from life onto a cross of judgement, spite, blame creating/allowing, the illusion of time and distance from what is here, from what is life.

The obvious is right here in from of us and the way out is with your self. 

Walk through the parts and see the demise of your own “song and dance” as personal “story,” as projection, as ego, as energy go, as belief, opinion and idea, as want , need and desire.

Come back to earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to distance myself from earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear participating on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept a system of inequality, that disregards life, that divides and conquers the very substances of life, that are given freely, without signature of ownership, these “signs” that conflict with the resources of this earth, that create separation from life one and equal to what earth is, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a belief, an illusion of memory, as collections of pictures, in and as my mind, in and as the very water of my human physical body, to become a halo of what I believe is what I am, as the bubble in which I live and project what it is that I am, this bubble/halo a film of illusion built on fear, demanding love, where this love is a game of memory matching to support this illusive human physical body as resource burning.consuming gird on fire, all in separation of myself as life here, interacting with what is physically here, real here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am distant from what is here, physically here, as people, as animals, as microorganisms.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk as a zombie on this earth, following the words of projected imagery on a tube placed within my living room, bedroom, kitchen, telling me stories all day long, supporting the separation from myself as life, distancing myself as life from what is real, what I can touch, taste, feel with the sensor of the skin on my human physical body, where if I accept and allow this halo, the manifestation of the same constructions of men without as what I have accepted and allowed within, that are the collection of pixels of my own accepted and allowed ideas, belief and opinions, to consume my human physical body, placing a strain on my human physical  body and thus causing disease, where I am turned grey and then white as my halo eats the very flesh of my human physical body, where, just as the television needs resource to burn, so does my halo need resource to perpetuate the imagery in and as my mind, and thus separating me from life as I believe that my memories are the me more in significance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another as more than or less than.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I am one and equal to all that exists, in substance of what is the essence of the composition of myself here, that is life.

Within this I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this substance is obviously able to create, and compose, and yet, I the human, have allowed this gift, as the substance of life, to be composed within a context of inequality, and thus the manifestation of war, instead of what is best for all, where if I want to continue to exist as life, the only choice is to exist as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as every breath, that I am one and equal to all that exists, and thus it is my self responisbility as life to realize my oneness and equality with all that is of this earth and to stand up and compose a system practically within and as this earth that supports all of me, as I am of the same substance and thus one and equal to all that is here, where if one part of me, as all that is here, is in a state of dis ease, then I am not whole, I am not all that I am as life, I am not in fact alive, I am less than what I am as life, as many many parts of me as life on this earth are in a state of dis-ease not having the support necessary to become self perfected beings as life, in and as what i am, what all is, which is the very substance of life, thus until all is supported and recognized as me, as one and equal to me, as the substance of life, life is not being lived.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have no idea what life actually is, as I have only every lived as emotions and feelings and thoughts that generate a halo, a glass screen, my own separation from my own equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am part of an organism as life here, that it is ludicrous that my legs don’t work, or that my eyes cannot see, of that my ears cannot hear, which is the outcome of comparison within and as my self seeming to be more than or less than another, a state of myself within and as an end game of stopping within realizing the consequences of my actions, that manifest in the disease of my human physical body which is the manifestation of stagnation within and as the movement of myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing to fear in facing the consequences of the outcome of the composition of myself within and as judgement, spite and blame, being myself not facing myself here, not realizing myself here, not using the conceptual ability of my gift of common sense of the whole here as life, where the very thing that I fear is the very thing that will allow me to become one and equal with and as life, that which I am, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the substance of myself as life, this substance the very ability of myself to common sense my equality and oneness with and as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the very substance of myself here, is what is able to read, to understand all that is here surrounding me as the very air that I breath,  to walk through the wall of my own conception, within and without, as all is me here, to bring my separations from life back to self and to direct within the principle of oneness in equality here, thus what I fear facing is the very thing that will begin the flow of myself here, in and as ease, in oneness and equality, with life, where as within so without, the practical manifestation of a system that supports all life equally which will take many to deconstruct the walls of a system built by men, able to be deconstructed by men,  that is creating disease on this earth, to compose a system that takes freely given resources and distributes them to support all the organs parts of self as life, so that life can begin, so that heaven becomes one and equal to life here, as this is what we are as life, in separation through the allowance of a wall of judgement, the fire of the grid that is what is transposing life into and as discord with life so evident in the state of this earth within a system of profit/survival for the few and the health of this planet and the animals and people and plants existent within and on it.

I commit myself to standing and supporting a system of equality, an Equal Money System, as is the support of myself here as life.

I commit myself to realizing that I am a walking cyclops in and as an infinite spin of a judge as more than and less than, as perpetually blaming the objects surrounding me within my life, not realizing that this is self label, as self resistance as self as life which I have accepted and allowed in separation from my own oneness and equality as life, here.

I commit myself to deconstructing the halo of belief, opinion and idea, my own self allowed and accepted computer screen in and as my mind, to become one and equal to this self created and allowed composition of sound, as life substance, and to become a composition of myself as life, realizing my own oneness and equality within.

I commit myself to no longer allow any and all spite and blame and judgment to be taken personally as an attack, as this is only an attack on my own accepted and allowed separations, which will persist until I stop the resistance of myself as life.

I commit myself to developing - through the decomposition of my own accepted and allowed separations - equality, with the being of myself with and as the physical and my own accepted and allowed halo of beliefs, opinions , ideas, as thoughts, emotions and feelings, with drives of wants, needs and desires for these very separations that I have allowed myself to exist as mind, to bring myself back to earth, to myself as life, through and as myself manifest as life as the principle of oneness in equality so that life can begin.

I commit myself to heightening myself into and as what is freedom, that is myself in ease as equality with what I am, as what is here , as all that is here is myself, in the realization of myself as life here, to recognize that my own self within a state of fright, is myself resisting the gift of life, that which I am.

I commit myself to realizing my character of fright is my self resisting myself as life, where there is not choice but to apply the principle of oneness and equality and bring myself back into a common sense of seeing that what is here is all of me, one and equal.

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Self Forgiveness Blogs and articles

Equal Money

Day 108 Replacing the clock with death

My sons are annoyed that their guide as time is no longer on the wall where death is on display.

If we reach death without ever being here, then death as never having lived will be the outcome.

All the unresolved endgames in and as my mind, desires based on a separate reality, the superstition machine that is the mind, where the emotions and feelings follow suit.

And our present system demands this, as we all follow suit to survive through never using our physical conceptual ability - this that is not developed- as we are only given a limited means to follow, as our parents’ actions ( themselves the products of limited selections to survive- to follow what upholds the benefits of a few while most of the world suffers).

I ask myself how do I communicate this. If I need to ask, then I am only a concept in and as the mind and not here, one and equal to this physical world, as this physical world and myself as a physical human body can only see if I am one and equal to what is here, thus if I cannot see and I ask myself this question than I am not here one and equal to this physical world as myself.

When I hung up the skull to replace the clock,  it was to remind me that I am a mind and that death is an outcome, I wanted to catch myself in the habit of looking at the clock. I looked a lot, and never realized how much and how often I would look at the face of time with in and as a system of survival, measuring out the division of myself into limited and stagnant, robotic endgames unable to conceive of the actual physical movement of life surrounding me, as I am lost in the division and not the whole, to stand outside the mind, to scrub the mind clean of imagery through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application towards equality and oneness with this physical supporting world that is what is real.

No one can own this physical world, it is here as us, supporting us. Allowing and accepting what is here to be divided to support only a few is criminal, and the allowing of myself as a parent to monitor my children’s persona’s to fit into this system in such a way, as my beliefs, opinions and ideas, that will enable them to survive, I have shut down/disallowed their very expressions as life, their physical ability to be one with what is here, as myself am not this, as I was not allowed the gift of life, as I live in a system that does not respect life, a system that is lost in an alternate reality of self interest based on an end game that is the stopping of the birth of life into and as the living word, as a secondary limited perception device that utilizes images and me-more-izes them as what is real spreads myself into a stag-nant world where I am constricted in separation from what is real, this physical world.

Thus, through self forgiveness, I bring myself back, one and equal here, with and as the physical to befriend death as the signifier of the end of my separation from life. The opposite of what death is believed to be, and utilized to allow and justify the abuse existent on this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have any image in and as my mind, if I take the breath to slow myself down and look I will realize that what is in the mind is a desire as what I have been taught will enable my survival based on the collected characteristics of the generations and parents with whom I used as a guide when I was a child to form myself, where in this self interested survival persona, I separated myself from myself as life, lacking the guidance of common sense and consideration of how the systems in which I must participate uphold/are the castle walls of survival within inequality and lack of consideration for the support of all life as being in fact one and equal to myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have judged some of the friends my children brought home as not being supportive of what I perceived was necessary to build a character with the polish of my accepted and allowed beliefs learned from my parents as to what my children should “look” like as presentations to ensure their survival within a system I had not fully considered in common sense of what was best for all as being the only choice.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have worried about how my children were “looking” as a persona in fear that they would miss the proper development as this being what I had accepted and allowed would enable them to survive and be able to fit into the system within a certain level on the hierarchy to exist without struggle to supply themselves with their basic needs and then some.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have seen, realized and understood that the options for them were limited, and that, within this system what was catered to was what support the profit of a few and not what enable all life to become one and equal, able to express and communicate with clarity and within this interact without fear and competition, but instead allow what is here to expand in awareness of self as life, as becoming one an equal to the expression of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how my ideas, beliefs and opinions where in support of my very own accepted and allowed separations into and as character/personality to support inequality with life, where I was becoming the voice of time, survival and competition instead of a living word as life here, being one with what is actually physically here as a real “movie” of “whole”/common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have allowed myself as a parent to have perpetuated the atrocity of separation from what is actually physically here, where the resources of this earth are used and abused without any regard for the nature of the form of what is here, to be forced into and as practices of profit instead of what is best for all, as the form tells the physical reality of the nature of the being as it exists here on this earth, and thus this system of profit does not consider the expression of life, and only takes life and abuses it to fit the form of self interest for the survival of the few to life themselves within a form in separation from their nature as life as the dream of the mind is propagated as what is real as what is the end game, and not what is actually physically real here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, to take the breath time to equalize myself with and as what is physically, really here, to face the shame of what I have accepted and allowed, and then to let this go, to stand one and equal to this physical world, as this is the only choice, to bring about a world that is best for all working one and equal to the very form of this physical world, that can support all life in dignity here, where the only thing stopping this is the embedded beliefs, opinions and ideas written in text books by those who are the act of self interest survival/competition to maintain their control of unequal resource distribution in and as a belief that should they lose this control there will be nothing there to support them, when this physical world is here in and as the support of life as this is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the imagery of the mind has been made so huge it presents the illusion of conceiving the whole impossible, when all that is really happening is that this illusory memory/picture/movie is separation from the whole, thus is self forgiveness, writing and corrective application the means to diminish/make smaller this “godlike” idol as imagery,  to see realize and understand the end game as fuzzy logic of limited insight as consequence outplay within the totality of existence as what the mind is in fact, evident in and as the non-use and thus abuse of life on earth as what is within the present conditions of earth and what is being taught to children to support a system of competition/survival to the children, perpetuated by previous generations in and as parents.

I commit myself to standing as the living word through supporting a system of equality in and as an Equal Money System that is the process of equalizing, within best practices, to allow all life to become self as life as the living word, as an absolute expression and support of life, as self, as what is best for all.

I commit myself to no longer supporting a system  that diminishes the expression of life and instead supports the movement of life in common sense of the whole, realizing that what is best for life is best for self.

I commit myself to stopping all energetic mirages of image, thought, emotion and feeling to be the false god of my perception and to bring all personifications as characters back to self, as this is not myself being here, one and equal to life, to what is real to become and exist one and equal to what is real, the real “movie/story” of actual physical reality, to realize that all that is here is one and equal to myself, is myself.

I commit myself to communicating with common sense of what is physically actually real, with what is freely given as the gift of life, realizing the only existential loss is the action of myself within and as energy manifest in separation and thus friction and conflict as discord in relation to my outer world representing my own desires, wants and needs within self interested persona/character maintenance inconsiderate of what is best for all.

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Self forgiveness Blogs

Equal Money System

The Soul of Money Divide and Conquer