Mental Graphic Novel Business Day 784

This week I was working with a child, who I noticed as the behaviors, was, ‘ standing in something’ that was the best match for what they felt. I likened this to how absorbent I am, we are, as our innate capacity to understand. The child appeared to me to be trying this out, being the effects of this behavior and at the same time expressing how they felt.  It appeared to me to be the whole child, and not as much the way adults can be, where they do not look as their presence, as their ‘ state of being” ( in this case it is similar yet not as incorperated). This being, as the adult being  instead a built series of such experiences as this child, manifesting as multiple experiences  of such a reference. Again, what caught my attention, was how this was the child, they were embodying this and testing this out, while it somehow matched something they had experienced. 

In the desteni I process, I find that I have so many times said the words, spoke the forms, and yet as things come more into focus, the reality of allowing myself to be both the subject and the object at the same time, without resistance, and realizing there is no need to be afraid, is a process, and yet, it is like an uncovering of what we already know.  It is as it says it is, in that it is the removal of self denial as the capacity to sense what is here, and be here, respecting what is here. How can what is a simple thing become such a messy thing and so ignored for so long as a loss of self recognition? How can a busyness of ordering stuck up in a resonant spin using ordering, become such a dissonance from reality? I ask the obvious question, yet is this not a part of the process, as as-king is a powerful tool of reflection. 

On the greater stage, I look at articles about Syria and other areas in the middle east, that describe the rubble left behind from bombs. I read a book written by a local author who experienced the Russians coming into eastern Germany and basically expelling the Germans and replacing them with Polish people, at the end of WW2  They just simply came and pushed some people out and replaced them with others, and this after coming in and taking all the livestock and crops, leaving the people with nothing.  What would motivate such an action that has no regard for the life, the resources of men and planet? Could it be a construct of values floating in the minds of men that are a separation from reality? How has that obviously resonant limitation come to be larger than life?  And why, can we not realize, especially in understanding the import- ance of education that it is possible to inFORM a person with a measured math as a measured value system that is not inclusive of all values as this physical reality?  Is it so difficult to realize that our within is not equal to the without, our ‘ above’s ‘ not equal to the practical ‘ below’? 

This is such a waste of capable resources. This is such a mis-use of what we are. What astounds me the most, as this is as astonishing as realizing the depth of a self imposed through a great effort to suppress,  as devastating as the bombs on the land,  of the self as life, as presence as the capacity to be here, and not so busy with graphing out what is to come, what might come, what is possible, based on an idea that is of something out there, in some place that is not here, as here is where things get done, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it- the focus to do demands all of one's attention on here, which also reveals that one must understand here, to get something done? And this, begs the question as to why we are placing our children in front of television sets and in schools that are boxes,  that are not reality?  And to not move into anther polarized value judgement to the extent we deny such things a television, as a proper use of television, can be supportive! I mean, Imagine creating one of those holographic programs that show the life and sequence of a seed? That would be really cool in terms of bringing attention to the expressive life of nature that is a constant surrounding us. Remember, trees create oxygen for us to breath. I do not think that any human apparatus is as symbiotic and self replicating as that tree within the very fabric of and as what nature is. In other words, nature is a great technology, one that, by some recollections, something that terra formed this earth, and may have been brought from somewhere else- thus, if we look at the pyramids, that some argue were built with a greater skill set than known today, could it be that those with this supposed ‘ greater skill set’ have realized that the fabric of plants and bugs and animals, was something worth sustaining, as it could not be recreated because of its inherent efficiency? Why reinvent the wheel into something less than what already exists that has a sustainable balance? 

If I am so busy graphing things out, and having learned about the world in a box, it would make sense that actions that are not what is best for life, as life, as bombing this earth for some graphed out idea that is in itself a separation from considering all things as being the problem!  That self constructed and accepted as imposed  graph of information, of IN FORM ation,  has been made larger that what is real! 

Within myself  I realize how much time I spent in time! lol, Meaning how much I resisted and rejected and composed myself in self interest, as the same that is the problem that is an act of separation from who and what I am that is of the same fabric as the tree that is a fabric of life that is self sustaining and self creating and in balance if we would allow it to be the expression of what it is!

In the movement, as the practice as the process in slowing down to recognize this, I also realize within a process of elimination of being as busy within composing a belief system, and uncovering being less fearful in meeting other graphic novels as the expression as the colored energies of others being the same as myself as a state of resonant separation,  that the degree with which I have allowed this, can be re-versed back into being in humbleness with this reality. This meaning that I can, with joy, acknowledge my mis-takes on reality, redo the math, and live solutions. This does not demand that I graph out all possible scenarios, within self protection and defense, because the means is the practical reality around me.  Those shadows as ‘ state of colored being’ need not define me, and can be used , or recognized for what they are, without fear,  as standing here, in respect of the practical and the physical reality.  It is to say, why not enjoy being/becoming the uncovering as the self discovery of the life that is here as the physical, which is what is natural?

I can, lol, imagine if we reformed this earth into realizing that we can be what we naturally are, as discovering how this reality functions, within and as self directing within the principle that all that is here is us, as the very fabric of creation. 

It is actually fun to call things out by name, to be clear about what is around us, and to realize that this clarity deepens, just as learning an instrument has that quality of a depending understanding that is a joy of discovery, slowed down only by a threat of survival that can consume one’s natural presence as an innate ability to completely absorb something and stand as it, just as we do as babies when we learn to crawl and to walk and to talk- we embody something, we embody the world around us, we embody the states of value that are not necessarily bad, yet can become automated and stagnant, in our parents that are directed by survival in a forgetfulness of the very fabric of what we are as that physical manifestation of form and function that is of a design that is self sustaining, and self generating and self balancing. 

I mean, why do I write as script this out? Why do I sit here and write this out? What am I using to do this? I am using words, as small degrees of sound, to map out, to graph out, to bring my words into equality and oneness with what equalizes me to this physical creation that I cannot live without. I mean, look at the mankind having to leave their homes, their lives disrupted, their basic needs questionable in being met,  the resources turned into rubble unnecessarily,  because of some idea imposed on reality! It makes no sense. And, the answer I am so often given, as “ if common sense were common, then it would be utilized “ is an endgame answer that reveals that lack of insight that is the real problem. Such a statement reveals the problem, as a non-looking that lends the solution, which is to LOOK HERE. In looking here at the practical, the graphic superimposed, resonantly metaphysical reality known as ego, is an active rejection of innate common sense, as that absorbent ability! 

What is interesting in tandem with all of this, is that physically I feel that my chest is going to burst out, to the extent that moving into thinking, is becoming more and more impossible, it is too limited.  It is like being a compassion without a desire for gain. The moment I move into a colored value, I lose  catching, or reading, or reeding what is here. I remember this, because I had to be this to perform, it was the only way, no matter what, no matter what politics were around me, it took some time and I would not say I was perfect at it. At the same time, in some ways, I also isolated myself because of being this. Interesting how we have a secret shadow mid of fear, and a secret sense of recognizing the separation of ourselves from the reality around us. I mean, that sense within me, that what we are doing makes no sense, is the same as that of which I speak.

It is also to realize that each of us has this same thing within ourselves. We can recognize this. I find more and more, that people will listen. They can recognize. It is a matter of reforming the sound, finding a structure that can he held, that can be grasped enough for greater reflection of the practical without loss of where one is and the demands of our present system of survival.  Real-eyezing  being grounded in the practical is using that natural ability to organize, to realize the ordinary in the practical as being the joy as it allows the busyness of ordering things to be more expeditious and not as large or overwhelming as one might suppose when one is in a resonance of values graphed by the self, absorbed from others, as the loss of presence in the practical reality of a physical life. 

If we make spelling our words with ease, then our focus can be opened up to more than momentary graphs of things we absorb as our natural capacity to understand what is here as this reality. This is because human use words to communicate. It is as though, language is a means to equalize one’s presence into this reality. It is the instrument of what we are, to realize the clarity of ourselves within as life. Life being what takes what is good and does no harm, as that reciprocity that is the nature of our natural absorbent ability.  Recognition of something can be fun,  and a self discovering mechanism into clarity. 

Being in sink or being in synch Day 773

One of the things I have encountered in my life is how to carry on a conversation.  I remember my husband asking me this one time.

It would be difficult to carry on a conversation, if one had a lot of memories coming up, with emotional poles, pulling one in a direction. It would cause a lot of dissonance and distraction within the body, as the self tried to ‘ do the math’ of what was within and what was actual without.  The whole idea of making conversation in such an abundant world, is in itself a red flag.  After all, what does ‘ opening a window’ to discovery ‘ mean. Everything that moves us is right here, thus why should there be any form of confusion, especially when a baby is obviously working so hard to take in and realize the patterns of life moving around them? It is the same confusion that creates the belief that having a conversation is difficult. I mean, how can children living in a home where the adults play an instrument learn the same so fast? Is it that they simply take in the movements and see the patterns. They see what is around them. They do the math.  This is natural, what inhibits that is unnatural. How can such a simple thing become such a confusing mess?  

After all, it is known in education that a child, in the past, is not ready for school until they are about 6. just enough of a seven year cycle, for the child to absorb a construction of information,  or a structure to become resonant within the body, for the child to direct themselves. The problem with this, is that the ability to process information also slows down- which means something is not in synch.  That slowing down is an indicator of becoming more of a toxic layered onion of dissonance than a real tree of understanding, meaning a real structural resonance of capacity in retaining a real presence that processes not only a toxic onion but also the practical actions that are effective in being present in the physical reality. If we look, so many of us are not effective in the practical physical reality. We find practical actions difficult, when they always need only small steps that accumulate into getting something done. It is a huge thing to realize what limits one from being what is simply natural.  A real ‘ tree’ of understanding would be the absence of distraction from practical doing, as the real magic is in the doing.  Naturally, on some level, we all know this, thus, the absence of this would build into a self hate. One knows one is discombobulated ! Could it be some form of shadow, projected by the self that is what causes the dissonance of this sound reality? 

About a month ago, I did not realize what it was that I was within, as standing within. I remember leaving an interaction with another person, and thinking “ it was so thick one could cut it with a knife.” I mean, why say, or think something like that?  Why do we tell ourselves what it is that we are being and seeing? Why not follow though and do the math, and realize my/our self created I'm-positions that are actually a separation from this living reality?

I mean, we have things that are for writing out and taking apart our ‘ moods,’ which begs the question as to what a ‘ mood’ is?  Is that ‘ mood’ what is the resonance of what is re-cord-ed within us, that eventually slows down our ability to process what is around us?  What do we use to communicate that? How can that technology, where tech is ‘ skill’ be a formation as a word, as a sound, that one can fill with polarized meanings that as that sound project outside of us, and we search for someone who matches as close as possible the color and signature of that projected thing, as sounds as words,  that are a separation from being grounded and practical and in the presence of this world, of all that is here, as this reality, which is including this physical reality. It is the most simple of things, and yet, that distraction, appears to be so HUGE- lol, what do we mean when we say and elephant is in the room? Can’t run, can’t hide, it is around you, accepted by you, and no one but yourself can clean it up. All the thin-king’s men and all the thin-king’s animals, cannot clean this up, because one must come to recognize one’s thin-king patterns, what generates them, and then forgive them and refocus onto reality. 

I remember a moment where, a few years ago, I became so angry about something, that that anger almost consumed me. I just stopped in one moment and said to myself, ‘ This does nothing, even if I am correct and what I am reacting to is unacceptable.” I just stopped. 

Yesterday, I was talking with someone, and realize that behind me, as me, was this colored torrent flowing down- within me. It was doom and gloom, all in self judgement. It was not about anyone from the present or the past, it was myself as a ‘ state of belief’ as ideas, about me, mostly about me not being good enough. Mostly of and as voices that I am not capable, that I am ‘ too far gone’ , that I am too much this, or too much that etc. etc. . 

Another thing that comes up, in this torrent, rented tower of belief, polarized into blame and spite, is within a group of people, that practiced one thing in one area and another thing in another area. They wanted to ‘ get rid of me’ within something. The forked tongue was at work. I want to feel hurt, and yet another part of me, like a lion wants to roar, and really roar. There have been times in my life, where I have roared, and everything around me stops. My sisters have told me when  do this, it is very powerful and that I do not realize how powerful.  If I take my own words, within this set of posts, as LOOKING, and reactions being a state of self hate, I realize that the resistance was of and as a self hate. Though I have not mastered this, if I realize that life is in reverse, dare I say, I must have much more power than I realize to intimidate a movement of self hate towards me. And yet, a focus on this silly petty game of survival, is not worth moving into. Let it go. I am, on the other side of the world anyway.

I really don’t want to rush and prove something, and I don’t want to carry this with me. I no longer want to follow the crutches of any other mapping system but the physical reality around me. I can only model, as what I have said to classroom children, ‘ the magic is in to doing.” lol, it is probably this same attitude that is so intimidating. 

I notice that if I ‘ sink’ - lol sinking is a sym=phonic with synching! -  within that down-ward spiraling ‘ shadow’ behind me, my back starts to hurt, as though sinking compresses me. And when I stand within this, and acknowledge it, and move to change it, I expand in some way, and the pain does not shoot out. It is somewhat like that state in holding up a violin, for hours, where there is a balance, that creates a state of no tired-ness. One can play for hours without getting tired.  Thus, I either sink or synch! lol

I mean what else is there? 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to always judge movements and things around me, without regard for this reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus only on the storm, as a means of protection and defense, to survive, when real survival means seeing here, the practical and physical reality, that is creation in expression, where the means to the end is in plain sight here, and no one and no thing can define who and what I am, outside of the practical, as a value judgement but myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create my own cognitive dissonance as a mind consciousness system of layers,  toxic  and separating as self interested actions only, from who and what I am here as life, that is physical, and that is all around me as me, where all things are me in another life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am sinking down below others, as an idea that I lack capacity, when the part of me that can see this colored difference is the same part of me that can resolve this difference and reform it, to realize a synchronicity with who and what I am as a physical beingness on a physical planet, that is creation information,  as what is real is in plain sight, thus I can blame no one and only stand in equity with what is real as the physical here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear loosing something, as what this resonant math, as a composition of value judgements is and does as an idea - logo only, is fear, which is not here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use innocence on one level, to hide behind, which has a color, of and as “ I have not seen this before’ and a ‘why have I not seen this before’ which already presupposes a value as a self definition of ignorance, that then compounds into ‘ I am not enough’ which has a value of and as “ I am supposed to be something already’ etc. and so it spins and I am so busy with this that I miss reality, and for this I forgive myself.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want a gain, as to want a more, as to have judged something as being more, and moving into absorbing this more to be a more from a point of believing I am less, that then races towards a more- than, all a movement in separation from being here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sink within and as me, as this, as the cognitive attention dis-order creating dissonance is myself in separation from being practical, focused and present, in respect of this living reality here, that is physical. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, into and as this state of dissonance composed of value judgements, distracting myself from being in synch with what is in plain sight as the physical which is creation here, that is the same as me, as all is life, and thus myself in another life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand , from another memory, of myself in elementary school, where the words and the sounds, suddenly started to become this soup in front of me, as they moved around, as though it was something outside of myself, yet it was myself in isolation as this, and this sense of things suddenly moving around, like soup, is myself in a soup, which is a kind of looseness, and the memory itself, myself lost in a mind consciousness system, already in separation from being focused and grounded here,  thus, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself acknowledging that which can be seen and touched, sensed and realized as a projection accepted and allowed by the self, and thus, not who and what I am here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how this physical becomes manifest, as a movement within me, that resonates through the physical, asa subtle down turning of the sides of my mouth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand this physical movement in and as the sides of my mouth, turning into a kind of pout, as a down turning, as a physical expression of sinking down, as not being enough, as hopelessness, as what is before me being too much, all an illusion, and not being in a balance, being effective, being present, being in synch as being in respect of this physical reality, that is an expression of and as creation as life, all around me, as the equal sound of creation, balanced, light, and always here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, with hindsight, this not to be taken as a given, given that memory warps and changes, that when and as I moved into a state recognizing this ‘ sinking’ within and as me, I can not remember moving myself out of it, as though an interruption is always present in that moment, like a blocking distraction for me to not see realize and understand that movement within and as me, here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to embrace this part of me, this character of and as me, that I have created, that I allow to be built, that I composed from judgement, and to encompass this, to place this sinking into synch with this living, expressing, balanced in what does not harm and takes what is good, to respect the practical here, as this living reality that is me, and that is the same as me, thus I take things back to myself and realize what I would want for myself, as I have enjoyed being given such moments myself.

When and a s I find myself sinking, and the sides of my mouth sinking down, I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I remember myself to what matters as this life, this physical reality that is creation in expression, here.

When and as I find my physical body moving to sink, as the sides of my mouth, I stop, I slow down, I breath, I embrace the energy as  value judgements, and ground myself in the practical matter of and as creation as the physical, and I LOOK here, to realize synchronicity with and as who and what I am as expression of and as life as the creation all around me that is me, here.

When and as I find myself becoming a soup, as a loopyness within myself, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself in effective movement of and as the principle of equality and oneness, as doing no harm, as considering all things as me, in all ways, to be in respect of and as who and what I am, to stand in grace here, to be humble, calm, steady, present, available, in joy - as being in awe of here, as being grateful of life as who and what  I am as the real matter here. 

When and as I find myself turning down within and as me, as my thoughts, and as the down turning of the sides of my mouth, I stop, I breath, I slow down to move to embrace the sinking I am allowing, as value judgements, and I focus on the practical, the physical, as this creation as reality here. to see, realize and understand and have fun and be grateful for this opportunity to express who and what I am as I am life. 

Correcting cognitive dissonance A battle for the mind Day 764

The degree to which we resist to what is here, is equal to the degree in which we cling to storied information as idea, belief and opinion over practical reality.

What is practical reality but what gets things done, and mirrored in actions that work with form and function in ways that do no harm. Such means having a presence that is a focus on this reality, a physical one.

The sound that we make as the words we use, what we emit from our bodies as the instrument of the sound, either reflects presence and awareness, or the storied information of our desires wants and needs, meaning how much of this reality we ignore in the interests of what we believe will allow us to survive. Yet, we use this reality to survive, we cannot exist without it. To consider only our immediate survival without ensuring our actions care for ourselves, which is all things, is a punishment of the self. When we label an action and configure it with value judgements, to paint/sound a limited story we actually stagnate our presence into being separate, thereby making the picture of our belief larger than life and as such out of synch with this living reality.  Thus the busy-ness of chaos is done with limitation. It is a non-sustaining sound. With each spoken word that is not in consideration of all things, we diminish who and what we really are. In this all death of non-awareness is a form of suicide of the self. It is basically a math.

Not standing up to limited story, that is only a value made huge in self interest, as bringing forward a value as a quality as the nature of something is not necessarily a bad, as this is the self moving in a focus of what is here, to realize form and function, movement and expression of the physical reality.  Using label coupled with threat of being labeled as less, is a false morality.  The quality of separation is as the description suggests, it takes one’s focus away from the practical actions that respect who and what we are a physical states of being, as being would be. 

Inherent in my desire to be intellectual, manifest as wanting to collect information and knowledge is a truth as an understanding of realizing something must be known, understood, realized. REAL eyes. 

Placing myself into a consciousness of fixed knowledge and information, causes a separation from real focus on this practical living reality that is and must be physical, or formed, or manifest, or realized.

I think of all the karate movies, or stories about people who have mastered something, like having lessons with a master. They have no patience for excuse. They stand. I remember going to lessons and having a teacher simply say to me , ‘ Stop being weird.” One must get beyond the morality of being ‘ nice.’ It is really an illusion, it is to speak up about this reality in a steadfast way, even when emotional reactions scream their false reality.  People are ignorant but they are not stupid. Creating a mind consciousness of a conscious, sub conscious and unconscious mind and going to public school to practice for six hours a day being in the conscious mind only, is by design, accepted and allowed by the collective, the means of controlling information, and the movement into a suppression of one’s real capacity. After all, what is the main complaint about public schools that has been consistent since their onset? The loss of critical and creative thinking skill. Or the loss of presence in practical reality.  What do I hear from many employers? That this generation has little if no, practical skill.  That is being weird, because reality is right here in plain sight. 

If I were to say something like that, as has been said to me in lessons, and I started to cry, there should really be no sympathy beyond a certain point, because this is allowing the means of one’s loss of presence, as the only choice is to lend what brings one back to what is natural, as being present in this reality. the insights of being practical, removes the desire to cry, as a passive means of defense of one’s already accepted and allowed state of separation into a limited story of information that is in itself a self interest of idea, belief and opinion personified and made larger than reality. This is really what a master who accepts nothing other than what is presence in application is doing. They are accepting nothing other than real focus and presence in reality. Holding that is the only way to be. 

This is why depression is always a state of self interest, a state of not taking responsibility, a state of being dishonest. This is a state of not respecting life.  If this scares me, then I am in fear, and I am not present in this reality. 

Every word we speak reveals the degree to which we are being responsible as life, because we are only speaking what it is that is the focus of who and what we are, here. 

Why do I write these things out again and again and again? it is the work of, the play of, the process of and as re-scripting myself into realizing the patterns within, of self interest, of fear, and re-scripting myself equal and one to the real common sense of and as all of me, as who and what I am as a living being on a physical planet that is creation in expression, here. 

Romanticizing a relationship Day 761

It is interesting how I am drawn to look at certain things, while at the same time not seeing what is right in front of me that I am telling myself. 

What I have been focused on is processing speeds, as being able to do the math, within the patterns as words, that describe, lol de-scribe , the focus of myself.  I can’t see what is in plain sight, as I am so focused on the pictures and the story that there is not reflection within the whole, as this living reality.

I am a series of relationships, as values, that I hold, to project an idea, which is how the mind works as a web of separation from this practical and physical reality. That is just it. This point that the relationship of values, is the composition of who and what I am as a persona, just as creation is a relationship of values, and just as another as the same, is a relationship of values. Just as I have focused on the constructs of words, and just a s a soap opera is built, so is this the same in what is here, whether in division or in equality to what is real, as the physical. Therefor, I am focusing on an innate understanding of this, taking it apart, and yet not seeing the forest through the trees. On one level, what I am drawn to, is exposing what I am realizing, yet I have gotten so caught up in the idea only. This causes anxiety, as though I am juggling and the balls are getting ahead of me, because I have not remained grounded. 

I also realize that listening to others is very important, to see the patterns, as a math, as a series of relationships that build what I call a scream that is ultimately a longing to be whole. I remember being 12 and being obsessed with this. I wanted to understand the scream, so it is a theme I carry with me, that can also become a distraction, as it is a relationship between values that I have allowed myself to hold. I believe this is probably true of everyone, if they make the choice to look, as the means of separation from being focused and present in the practical is the same. In the stories of information as a series of relationships is both the longing for self and the sequences that separate the self from the real presence of self in awareness, as a focused respect of life, as the physical. 

To jump here, to remembering the death of my husband, I relive the sadness of this, remembering that a part of me thought that a great beauty was lost in his death. And, at the same time the impossibility of realizing why this was not lived. How could this come to  be extinguished? Since this was what I was projecting, this was really myself. What I projected outward was what I was seeing within myself. And to note, that the support of the people around me, after his death, were, to me, these words that did not describe the whole picture. I got to the point where I did not want any pity, and I dd not want to hear supportive statements of regret because they were in no way solving the problem. 

When I allow only the thoughts of and as ‘ there being a great beauty’ and ‘ it is impossible’ to realize this, to sort this out, there is also the voice within me, for as long as I can remember as ‘ NO, this cannot be so.”  My family made fun of this part of me, that person that did not have the answer yet often said in frustration, that what was accepted simply could not be so. I, after all these years on this planet, simply will not give up. 

I can focus on these inner billboard signs as idea, and use them like a life jacket, in a moment, yet the motivation of and as “ this cannot be so’ as the positive, and the negative sense as a form that this is impossible, and that a beauty has been lost as a superiority of and as a good, are forms that can take my focus, and distract me from being simple and normal and present in this reality. This is what and how a mind consciousness works. It is a math, as a sequence of forms as beliefs, opinions and ideas that can become a thing, better known as an idol, that distract from being present and in equality to life. Meaning, one is so present, one has no value judgements, one is practical and in focus on the life. One is in a relationship with all things, understanding their expression in form and function. It is really very simple. The mind exists within stories of good and bad, right and wrong, rise and fall, protagonist and antagonist, antecedent and consequence. Limited, narrowly framed, bound. Nothing to do with balance of sound in form and function. This demands seeing towards creation.  Look at ordering something, it is merely placing things into an order. 

In all, this persona of and as these things, is myself focusing on a lack, and not being here - really listening to this reality. To accept the physical as reality, this life, in expression, would mean I would have no fear of death, because in essence, being here, with this reality as life in expression would mean that there really is no death. It just means listening to here, moving with and as here, as the physical.

Presence and resonance beingness . Who am I? Day 744

In my last blog I wrote about sensing what can only be called a resonant change within myself, after living in a foreign country. I wrote about how I noticed a physical resistance that precipitated    calling out a behavior as being extreme where previously, before living in another country, I had no physical resistance or reaction towards such behavior. All of this indicating how I can, within seven years, change the very resonance of me, as a comfort zone of the stance, or the acclimated values within me, or, relationships I composed myself within and as.  When my environment changed, and was no longer the ‘ song’ or ‘ math’ or collectively accepted values of a group, I physically reacted. It appears to be a sense of being out of synch with my surroundings, yet I started to notice the differences and projected the differences as something outside of myself.  I could have become so focused on the differences ONLY, yet managed to realize that I had acclimated to the ‘ stance’ of my new environment. 

How often does this happen in other areas of my life? And/or am I as near to being fluid in seeing the patterns and movements of this overall? Meaning, do I apply how much a resonance of values  are what I face, what I meet, when I interact with others? If I do not understand this, are those moments of projection and calling out of a behavior, a labeling that behavior being weird or extreme, without realizing the interaction of resonant values bumping up against another, as being a relationship ? Do I realize that I am simply in a juxtaposition of values imbedded in the flesh as what has become an acclimated stance within? Do I tend to resist what does not ‘ resonate’ with me, because I have become so self involved that I have lost all perspective of seeing and realizing this? Ultimately, how is it that this has not moved me to realize that the only thing that is real is the physical? And/or that taking on a value, as focusing on something, is okay, yet must always refer to what is in the moment as the greater world around me, within an understanding that what is practiced, if not reviewing the whole overall, can become resonant within, and then direct the flesh to the point where, as I did, react physically? What would happen if this is not understood? I can think of many reactions, as resistance I have done and lived, because I did not understand this! I, instead, in my self centered self interest ONLY,  believed my resonance to be more real than what was around me. I blamed this very default happening in others, on that resonance, even went into fear of it, instead of realizing the whole and the parts of and as how this all works. 

Is it not also so easy to realize at this point that this is what the proverbial ‘ valley of smoke and mirrors’ is in fact? Where to hide what is real, but right in front of us. as the within made larger than the without, and the without being what is real, and what is similar to being a ‘ master mind’ in that what would ground is referencing all things, and balancing out within that, this in itself a practice lending greater flexibility , or less stagnant inner stance of values in a bubble.  After all, then, what is a mind consciousness system? If one’s focus , as the events one allows within, on a time line, or horizon of sequences of self accepted stances, or values, were repeated again and again until they directed the flesh,  would one become a ‘ seed’ of information, of and as small movements compounding in one’s deeds? Would this end up causing a resonance counter to the greater whole? Would a flexibility be lost? Would the ability to process information become stagnant as that resonance consumed the life within, as the very focus of that presence within? Who could correct, or balance this out? Can another do this for one’s self? No. Would the self that was caught in the web, want forgiveness? Thus, is the only choice, that of forgiveness? As forgiveness is the movement of correction? This correction not capable of being done by anyone, but the self, and would one not want it to be any other way, as this is the way to self mastery? I mean what is one doing when one practices a musical instrument all by themselves? And would one also need to practice or interact with the whole also? Would a one sided practice cause an imbalance? 

A word is a placeholder of information, thus a word can be used to direct this, to guide this, to trigger the re-establishment of one’s focus onto the greater and the smaller, in the present, so that the self can see the resonance within and the practical without. This would lead to being equal and one to all of creation. Instead of reacting, as resisting resonances ( ghosts in the machine) one would become more self directive- AND NOT FEAR THAT RESONANT MATH!  As it is, at the moment, we are all basically, resonating values in a self centered inner-rest, absent a common sense of the present moment, which is being in the practice of the physical reality around us, recognizing what does not harm, as what accepts what is here, and working with it, or interacting with it, or communicating with it, which overall, allows one to realize one’s own resonances. In a way, there is nothing wrong with looking at the parts, bringing this forward for a moment, yet remaining grounded in the physical is also necessary. 

I admit that I am in fear of what resonates in another, because it means that I have to face the equation. I have to have the patience to slow down, listen, ‘ quantify’ , call out by name, to become in sympathy with clarity with another, with a resonance, and then relate back to the practical, or realize what would be best, and make choices, as the only choice, as what would expand and lend direction without generating more conflict, or harm as a reaction to a ‘ resonant form’.  I can so move into fear, or anger, when meeting resistance despite realizing the only solution is to go back to the drawing board and walk the clarity again, especially since a resonance can be quite sticky and bounce back. This being what causes a great forgetFULLNESS, that is the root of the problem within this not being understood.  

Because we have, in a sense, all become like the movies we watch, ‘ story boards’ that repeat and speak and direct the flesh, as a resonant sequence of events colored with value judgements, singular and limited though not necessarily ‘ bad’ , it is necessary to slow down and begin to differentiate this. It is to give space for greater and deeper recognition of one’s accepted and allowed resonant seed of information. 

I have this point where I miss some turn, some resonant movement within me. I can see, or feel the after effects, as this cycles, yet have not yet caught that tiny movement that was a choice I made, or accepted, as a value judgement. It is like not wanting to let something go, or this being so habituated, I can only practice catching this again and again, making mis-takes.

Mostly, it is in my arms, a tenseness that is intense. lol.

What helps me, at times, is to look at this as though I am reading shadows. I liken it to a ‘ life review’ where I bring every moment of my life forward, like a resonant history, and realize where I resisted, rejected, blamed, pushed away, stood as - believed, etc. And then, to sort out my resonant under-standings.  Has to be done, and why have it any other way? After all, how does one come to master something? What did we think humpty dumpty was all about?  And why were the fables, and tales, and biblical stories, and twentieth century novels like 1984, telling us? And why were they in a format that was indirect yet revealing? They in themselves are a kind of resonant form, showing a math, yet cannot be the actual practice in the self. It is just as I was when I started calling out the value system manifestation as behaviors on a face, as I stood looking at this from a different resonance as what I had acclimated myself to.  I am the subject of my own objectification! Because of a fear of calling things out by name, which is the means to self empowerment and disempowerment of the limited resonance , it appears easier to do the same without facing this directly. Yet, if this is what I am saying must be done, then somehow I am not facing this in myself, because I am unwilling to show the bare naked accepted and allowed resonance of myself. The point is that this is understood, and pointed out, though indirect, by many. 

A word for me today, is the word ‘ frame’ meaning, what am I framing within what I bring forward, as resonate within me? What and where am I losing a sense of the larger frame as the physical? What am I defining myself as, within a resonant frame, and what relationships am I making that builds this frame I stand within? What practices in the small within myself can change this frame and focus, or realize in a more fluid way, calling resistances out by name, and understanding to then relate to the whole to build a more encompassing relationship to the whole as all things, where I do not rush, or expect, or fear a loss, thereby procrastinating, seeking perfection,  idealize,  control, reject, imagine only,  give up, get lost in a comparison of self protection etc. I can, as the very capacity of and as me, learn to play/perform/interact-with-the-whole as the means is right here, in plain sight.  After all, so much of what has not been lived, is that individual practice of doing and realizing the smallest of movements, as the smallest of things, is what one must master to become a master of self, something that must be practiced, and something that no one can do for the self but the self. This AND interacting with the whole, as it cannot be ONLY one or the other. 

Day 362 Self Judgement as allowing inferiority

I forgive myself for allowing an accepting myself to believe that I am inferior or superior to situations and or others as I base myself within a judgement of more than and less than not seeing realizing and understanding that such is based on a belief , opinion and/or idea, stagnant within allowing myself as equalizing myself here in sound with the principle of what is best for all is best for self, as the alternative as ego is to be and become a limited idea of myself as what I am instead of looking at what I am allowing and bring this back to myself within the principle of what is best for all and as such/with such directing myself within looking here, within investigating here and moving in thought,word and deed as what is best for all, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i am inferior to life, to this gift, the expression, this experience that I am here within this human physical body and this physical earth, not realizing I have allowed myself to become a mind of limited ideas, beliefs and opinions as what is taught as the divisions of the present system that is a structure and form of inequality causing separation from life, as some are not given opportunity and support and others more than what is needed causing a lack of life on earth , causing a lack of dignity on earth,of life expression with and as life, here.
I forgive myself for having allowed and accepted myself to use, opinion, idea and belief and abused myself as life through thought, word and deed in self interest to survive, not considering all life and the consequences of my actions as lack of consideration for all life, not seeing realizing and understanding within this that life cannot really exist until all life as this physical form as earth is in full potential expression as itself as life, thus no one is “ free” until all are free, no one is in dignity as life until ALL are living in dignity here on earth, thus the idea of superior and inferior are illusions that as an illusion is a separation and a stagnant state of being that has become so huge it does not see itself as such and as this lives in a state of limitation and thus becomes a diminishing substance of life feeding off the physical, fading out without having lived life, and as this separation has no real substance and thus no real standing as life, which is a state of fear, as is so seeable in the state of much behavior on earth at present, thus the only way out is to face the separation and the divisions causing lack and stagnant non-development on earth and to change this, thus facing the belief that this is impossible must be realized as a part of the illusion that is consciousness as mind, as life cannot be lived until all and everything on this earth is breathing and being the life that it is in full potential and to even realize within this that the answer is right here as the directive to walk out of fear, the only choice, the principle of equality and oneness, to give as you would like to receive.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have abused life, in using beliefs, opinions and ideas within ratios of what is more than and less than within a system of unequal measure guided by ideas of one value being more than another, and thus using these values and ideas to maintain my position within an order of unequal distribution of life sustaining resources to survive in my own self interest, a complete act of ignorance for which I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare values of others based on the words they use, the clothes they wear, the knowledge and information they spew and to judge according to my own cultural background, to compete for placement on a grid of inequality that in itself is in separation from life, from earth, from what is real as this physical earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this I have allowed myself to become stagnant within, petrifying in fear of loss to the point where I no longer see reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as an imagination of doom and gloom, as fear of loss, which becomes the undercurrent of myself as separation , a movement within as thought of a judging of myself as inferior, allowing ideas, beliefs, and opinions to be superior to myself here not seeing realizing and understanding within this that this is only limited insight as beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than and is meaningless as I can only be here in this breath in this moment and that it is being here as being life that is the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become inferior to the bully of fear, as fear of loss, that uses ideas, beliefs and opinions that are ambiguous, lacking consideration of practical physical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that a mistake is what i am, where in all common sense, a baby child is not labeled as a crawler for the rest of their lives when that mis-take as a first step becomes a fall and then crawl within first attempts of walking, as this is realized as a process, thus the past as miss-take of that baby does not define that human child, so if this is carried into all movement of men, then past mis-takes do not define a person here. Thus, passing judgements on people is an act of ignorance, as the only choice is to realize a miss-take for what it is and give/accept direction from without and/or common sense from within to stand and realize that selfperfection is a process that is only made stagnant within lack, as we live on a physical planet called earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, into and as an expectation which is to create an idea of the future instead of remaining here equal and one, as expectation builds hope which is placing myself into an idea of a more than and myself as being inferior.
When and as I see myself becoming a thought of inferiority I stop and I breath, and I realize I am allowing something to be superior and in separation from myself, and as such becoming stuck in opinions, belief, or idea, so I bring this back to self and I direct within and as the principle of what is best for all, as this is best for self, as we are all equal within the starting point of the substance of life.
When and as I find myself fearing to be labeled as inferior, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I realize that I am only inferior, and or superior, if I accept and allow this, as this is the mind, as consciousness composed of limited ideas, and beliefs and opinions of what is of more value and less value as the only real value is the value of life.
When and as I find myself believing myself to be inferior and placing a value of something being superior in separation from myself, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down and I look/investigate the form and the function that is the physical world in common sense within the principle of what is best for all, and within this I see, realize and understand my own behaviors of self interest as fear of loss, habituated as a survival suit answering to the voice of inequality as the present systemic form of monopolizing wealth and ownership of freely given resources into the hands of one/few who themselves are as consciousness , manifest as an ego of belief that some are more than others, when we are all the same, the substance of life, one and equal.
WHen and as I become inferior to here, within and as creating an idea and thus a hope within expectation I stop and I breath, as I see realize and understand that the mind as consciousness strategizes, maps, analyses and in the process misses here, what is physically here which is all I can as life be, here.
When and as I find myself, as consciousness , planning the future, I stop and breath and I realize I am inferior to here as I am wanting to control outcome, organize outcome, which in and as itself is not necessarily good or bad, it is that it is limited as it is separate from here, as it is only here that I can live in equality and oneness and move as the principle of give as I would like to receive as being in equal consideration of what is here in this moment, as I cannot know the next moment until I am there.

                                                    DIP Desteni Know how your mind works.

Day 219 Self validations within the presented

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within the consequences presented, abdicating myself as life, into and as accepting what is presented, and feelingoverwhelmed within confusion and frustration, as what is missing is not offered/presented within the context of what is real, this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the self validations as what is presented through all aspects of society and the training of this society, is limited within realizing the existence of expression and how this expression moves and what is here as this actual physical world, where the present system of consciousnessexcludes what is real in totality in favor of selected values fed a morality within the context of the human only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when in confusion, I have a physical feeling that there is no place to go, and thus I go into frustration, as what is here, as what is morally accepted and allowed considers the survival of men only, and ignores the actual physical world, thus, as within so without, a separation becomes what exists, with no direction within equal consideration, as the story is the more all within a singular dimension of men only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in becoming the moreall as the human, which is consciousness, I separate myself from the truemother and father as the earth and the sky, this being to total substance as the expression of life here, thus in ignorance do I deny myself as life, in favor of the resonance of what the human has projected through media, education, society on the substance of life here, thus I allow myself to give the authority of myself as life, to a limited system that in its limitation and ignorance of life, becomes friction and conflict in not having substance, as this being total movement within self equal and one to what is same as creation, which is the sound substance of life in all that exists, realizing this in equal measure within all existent.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a sense of vertigo within is myself falling in separation from myself as life as sound, where the all is the story that ends in the more as myself being one and equal as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present systemic morality is a more all, as men being the all, where in fact the exact opposite is what is real, where equal and one consideration for the “all” of existence is the more, as this is life as all existent in expression on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to save, though a mind that is consciousness, lost in thoughts and emotions and feelings, believing this possession to be what is real, having been trained/programmed to be this from day one within a system that generates this - meaning imposes and impulses this through the technologies created by men, even the social structures - what is then programmed into the child born without language and beliefs, and thus forcing the child into service to a moral for the human, where the human is caught as mind within polarities that have no answers because the answers are within a bubble of consideration of men only, of energetic separation as what energy is, as the consequence of separation, which is to look for solution within consequence, where all that manifests is blame, as the starting point was already of separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is not solution to be found within the outflow of consequence without looking through the consequence to the starting point, where what must be realized is the movement as direction within consideration of all that exists, as though this earth is the instrument of life, yes men seem to think they are the instrument, when they are a part of the instrument, and thus life is not being lived on this planet, as the systemic imposition of men as more separates from life, and thus causes consequences of destruction, instead of equal and one being with what is here as equal and one to man.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

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