Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 195 A being of blame

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be blame, to want to blame another as an object of not being responsible, which is myself not wanting to be responsible, which is myself wanting another to be what I fear, which is not realizing that this being responsible is an action, and that as this action, there is no other way but to be and become this action, yet I choose, within blame/placing an action on an object a deny-er of being action as what is real, of looking at action as what allows and accepts consequences, and within this not even looking to the whole situation on this earth, the monopolizing of money/resource and the lack of development through broadcast intentions related to appeasing fear which actually admits fear and thus inflames fear as something to hide from, within a game of survival created through laws supporting a system of inequality, and so it spins and spins and this spinning is destroying this earth and life is not being lived.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my very inception was done in fear, as sex is a form of escape within this system of inequality, and a form of entertainment especially for those who lack any self development as life, the poor and most of the masses, where the question should be asked, “ would there be so many children born if all were supported with the basic needs and opportunity in self development as expression as life?”
Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that if the human were given the opportunity for self development, would they not then use common sense within raising children, and would not the means to take responsibility be then realized and what children born would be done with common sense and awareness instead of within ignorance and a seeking of release from fear?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that these considerations for self development as life, would also be considerate of the children produced within how humans function within reproduction.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I was conceived in fear, where the adult/human that bore me, was not even aware of themselves would this not have an effect on the very physical as what I am, here?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that with my own children, when they were young I was extremely wary of what they were exposed to, and moved within judgement to supposedly protect them from what I determined as non supportive influences, and within this I was often anxiousand fearful.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have looked at the whole structure of what is here, as the financial system, as the way products are produced and the options available , many of which makes sense but are not even employed because they cannot be patented or owned, thus indicating that there was something wrong with this present system and in consideration of this, how would this effect every inch and aspect of what was physically here on this earth?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have blamed and judged what was around me within the morality of right and wrong placed onto objects instead of actually looking at the action and the behavior, and the product and speaking within common sense of what would be best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have been so afraid when I was in Thailand and Singapore with my children, for fear they would be kidnapped, that this was all I could think of, and thus I did not stop and LOOK at why the whole picture of this, as my fear, and the drives of such behaviors as kidnapping children, even existed, where it was not until I found my husband hanging from a rope, that I stood there as asked, why does this exist, this cannot be life”?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that what must be done is a total understanding of this present system and how it usesmoney - the representation of life sustaining resources this money as a tool not being what is wrong, but the means with which this money moves in and as beliefs that one thing on this planet is more than another, where such losses of people and things in our lives need not exist if life was realized as the value and thus supported as such, where waiting for someone else to stand is not going to change this inequality creating abuse system as capitalism/monopolyism, my tantrums of blame an abdication of myself as life, where if this is what the human is, then each of us are not being responsible as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that life is not fear, unless i accept and allow this to be what is here, and within this if I allow myself to cling to what appears to diminish my fear, such as alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment - of which politics has become, a form of entertainment, as anything that does not develop common sense is an entertainment of placing hope to then lead into despair which are all SELF accepted energetic, as what energy is, separation from self/myself standing and being responsible in common sense of what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the very starting point of myself was of fear, where the solution was always/allways to look in common sense of what is actually physically here, where this was not what was taught, myself directing myself in common sense of what is actually physically real, here, breathing and instead I was taught to take on the cares of presentations of myself to serve a monopoly of self interest, itself promoting all that excites this fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take this all personally, where i cannot possibly take care of this systemic inequality alone, as it was built within fearof the many, and thus must be cleared up by the many as the human standing and realizing that the only solution is to stand and realize that life is being owned by fear, each part accepting and allowing this, and the system developed from this a product of the fear of the parts and thus the parts as the human, must realize that common sense has not been taught and is caused by all of us, and thus must we all stand and vote/create/manifest/organize a system of support for life, in common sense, to look see, and understand what is here, to realize ourselves as life, here, where as life we are able to see, understand and exist one and equal to and as what is here as this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thoughtsemotions and feelings are the expression of my fear, and my wants, needs and desires are the “more thans” that I believe will elevate me above my fears, and my me-mor-ies are what will show me what not to follow and/or what to follow to hide from myself as life, to support myself within my fear, which means that these actions are myself in lack of self responsibility and self honesty as what I am as the gift of life, right here freely given, all I have to do is forgive my creation of characters and personifications of what I believe I am, to realize myself as life, this that cannot be lost.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that such back chat as inner voices of such derogatory statement such as “ what an idiot, how could they be so stupid,” or “ how could that woman possibly have left that boy with a man who she knew had beaten that boy before!” or “ Why don’t these people “get a life”” or “ This person lacks self responsibility and is causing all of us to have controls placed on us because of laziness”, not seeing realizing and understanding that such “mind” statements are simply myself not being responsible for looking at what would develop such a life form on this earth, as obviously, if self direction is what some are, than this lack of self responsibility has not been what was taught, because this state can be what the human is, it is simply opportunity that is lacking, yet a system of inequality needs alcoholics, sex addicts, ignorance to allow pedestals of inequality to continue.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I fear being what that person is in fact, I fear looking at my own lack of responsibility, and if I look within myself I would see realize and understand this.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that many of my reactions are based on avoiding facing being responsible for myself as life, as I choose what will enable myself to survive instead of looking in common sense at the very form of the present system.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath, and to realize the amount of constriction within and as my human physical body, how much I actually cringe in fear with every ounce of my physical self.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all disease is a lack of common sense.
Desteni
Equal Money
Eqafe  
Journey To Life
Heaven's Journey To Life
Creation's Journey To Life
Earth's Journey To Life
Documentaries

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