Day 662 Moving from mind consciousness to presence here, forgiving the stim of limitation.

I was out walking this morning, when I could see how I funneled myself into ideas, beliefs and opinions. Like I take the very focus of and as me  and force it into a measure, like a construct of values within a creation as an image.

There is this memory of a fear of not fitting in, not reaching others, not getting through, not having interaction.  A sense that I am not seen, as a reaction to reaching the people in my world.

As a child, considering the existent mind consciousness, did I have to catch up to the train of the mind, and focus my beingness equal and one to the measure as the means of communication with the adults around me?  Did I have to enter the storm of the mind to reach through the focus of another? Probably. Did this ‘ hurt’ in a way, or did I allow it to ‘ hurt’ me in a way” Did I see this as a bully on my presence? And yet, did I see this as a means to an end, where I as a child started to read a lot?

Did I become fearful in my attempts to match the measure of belief that motivated the actions of the adults in my world? Did I get caught up in the fragmented mind/value/system forgetting the original goal? Did the information I allowed become an excitement in a desire to reach a goal that was in itself limited and forgetful of considering all things to realize what was of equal value to life as the physical around me? Did I also enjoy the process of creation that is inherent even when a limited form/construct is the outcome?

Am I so used to following knowledge and information that to move from this to the information of life as the physical means abandoning the measure of information I have accepted and allowed to direct me? Am I so used to what is 1% of my capacity that leaving that limited awareness, a comfort zone, appears to be a loss, and the fear of standing outside this socially means causing friction to and towards a collective limitation? If I focus only on the lack, where do I end up? I cannot blame or spite the lack, that leads to further fragmentation. Hence I can only focus myself here, accepting the life that is around me as the physical.

I have the space and the time here, to investigate and understand the physical world around me, where there is no place to fall, as falling will only move into the nothing that is the everything, the darkness that is the light, the very substance of creation, always here, the most gentle of all things, the most forgiving of all things, the potential of all things, right here, thus I can forgive myself for all things as this is the expression of creation. I need not fear any bully of information, as change involves by nature transformation which is forgiving, as forgiving is returning to nothing that is everything. I am here. 

Thus in every breath, I forgive myself to here, to assessing what is here, realizing it cannot define me in the next moment, and as this there need be no despair, no fear of loss as the nature of creation is change, fluid, constant. I can focus here, let go the mind only consciousness, as accepted and allowed information, taking that which is good and does no harm, to return myself in every breath to that which is gentle, present, nothing and everything.

I slow myself down to realize my own measure of stimming myself into a limited expression. tensing myself, forcing myself , bullying myself into an inner mind consciousness in separation from respect of all things, taking that which is good and does not harm. I am here. I am life. I choose equality and oneness with and as life, as this is what I am here.

Day 323 Being bullish with bullying

I realize in looking back in detail, as much as I am able, into my childhood , through looking at how i move myself here, the very emotional, feeling thought movement of myself here, this which takes some time to realize as what this means, yet all can do this, as this is something that is heavy, that is life an eddy of collected stagnant moments, turned into hope, Hope and an acronym for How Observant People Edify, meaning how people turn their fear into an icon, an idol as guide, when this is really un unresolved expression of self as life, here, at ease with the actual physical world, a creation of a movement of self in need, in desire, where the lens of self becomes a begging for this in thought, word and deed, thus, it is always in the words we speak, our own separations and desires, because we are machines reflecting what we allow ourselves to be, if we are dishonest with life, as what we are, we them become that dishonesty. We cry our dishonesty from life, our separation.

I am seeing Bernanke saying that her is trying to solve the financial crisis, that it all takes time, that it is complicated. It is only complicated because there is fear there, or, one could say there is not wanting to let go of having more than another. Of course there is no resolution of the financial crisis when letting go of having does not fit into the design of what would solve the crisis. The crisis is that in order for one to have what is needed to support life, means another cannot have, and all the systems are directed in such a way to maintain this belief. Bernanke is like a spider in a web, where the workings of the web are the system, and any imbalance triggers a reaction and the spider as illusive web maintainer cannot fathom the ground beneath the web, too busy is he/her with the web. The wave of common sense as life, as all men realizing and standing up can take this web away and let the sunlight in.

Back to myself here, I do this, in and out, from way out there, referencing the present system as the world, back to myself.

I have my own little, bubble/web self designed in protection and defense of my survival, as memories, of thoughts, words and deeds, a story of emotion and feelings coming in and flooding me as I stand here and breath, seeming so real, yet so heavy and consuming. I do not need television, I have my own, I only want the tv when I need a break from myself. lol

It is like a run to organize things, like a proper woman, but what I am doing is organizing things to avoid being bullied, and even to hide that I avoid being bullied. I even dreamup possible bullying scenarios in and as my mind, where being bullied is really being rejected. So it is like I fear being bullied, and then I watch my reactions of others, to ensure I am accepted by them, which means I will then, because I am accepted, not be bullied.

And then I am so busy doing this, that I am not here, I am way far, far ,far away, buried under this self imposed movement of protection and defense that I have no idea how to really communicate as myself here, I have so little practice within being forgiving, that even if I am for a moment a torrent of sadness and tears want to come, as the memories of what I have accepted and allowed, being a longing for underneath all of this, as I allowed myself to become hope, in waiting for some kind of change, as this was created as a child, a pattern of separation set, because there was no other place to go, or I did not have the language and skills, and size to describe, stand up to, pull together in words within facing here.
Physically, I notice that my breath shortens, and within I search for shields of protection to stop what is a threat of punishment within my environment, what is a threat to my existence.

So, I have to breath, through this, to bring myself here, in common sense, without a fear that something will be lost. I don’t even know if I know how to do this, I am going to have to practice this! It is like letting go and bringing it back to self to direct as life in forgiving as life, here.

How did I do this specifically? Through accepting and allowing and using as how I moved in thought word and deed, an ideology of one thing being more than another, of weighing and judging, one value made popular and touted as a glory of having won. But it is not something won, it is really the being of self LOST in survival being justification, separate from actual life, separate from the actual physical world.

The values presented as what is use to direct self within this, are reflected in the choices using the earth’s freely given resources as the products of the consumerist market, where, since these are parts of life, they are not “bad” they are limited and lack consideration of all life, and thus, considering all life, means letting go of the soldiered self of limited bought products that are the fashions of protection and defense.

Bullying will always have limited values as what is used, because the very act of bullying is a separation from looking here,it is a destructive non directive criticism meant to diminish, stagnate instead of direct, show direction within awareness of self as life, as an expression of life, as what is real here. A bully cannot move at ease. A bully is the voiceof fear, a reaction in and as fear, a desperate act. Look, even trolls on the internet are men who are desperate to earn a living, It is like a last resort to survivel.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop and breath and look here, to see, realize and understand that i am life, here, one and equal to and as all that exists on this earth,as the very substance and expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what is here on this earth as the physical world is life, and thus is a system that can be understood, realized here, as myself as the substance of life, this being the value, where it is the selection of limited values made icon, used to con, into and as limited expressions in and as energy as the mind warping reality into limited insight into and as what is here, creating a world of hu-men, into a system of protection and defense in separation from the gift of life, as the promise, the real promise of heaven, given, freely, for life to self realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain here, equal and one to and as breath, to slow down and to communicate with what is here, to realize myself as life in totality, to become one and equal to and as what i am, life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe through a thought that what is here will punish me if I do not match the state of limitation of another, to match a belief, to stand up to a limited belief that is within limitation as mind, as an allowed existential separation from equality and oneness within the value being life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have kept the enemy at bay, which in and as itself was a judgement, a labeling, that was a movement into a separation from and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have stopped breathing, to have become an erratic breath, not seeing realizing and understanding that my physical body, the form of life given to self realize myself as life, was showing me in my own state of disease to and as life, here, where the stopping, hesitant, irractic breath as what I allowed was moving into an ambiguity, a distance from being one and equal here, as life, not seeing understanding how to communicate what was here, as the very substance of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to develop a coping mechanism of protection and defense hidden in the guise of organizing what is here into and as limited values to present agreement, qualified/ recognized/attended to as acceptance with a smile, with energetic empathy, which I accepted as a success in distancing myself from punishment, from being cast out, from becoming a scape goat, from being bullied within being called names, being labeled as less than, being disallowed communication and interaction, thus, became I, a personification in and as what serves a system of separation from life, here , into and as the various roles and the behaviors within and as how these roles move here, within being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a consumer, an American, a human, a class based guidance system, a wife, a wife a widow, a spewer of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, a spender without consideration of where and how and who created and moved the physical things of this earth that can only be moved by the various ways the hands of men have moved what is here, the complacent person, believing that it is too difficult to move myself here, not realizing seeing and understanding that the complacency is a byproduct, into and as a wasted human, because the weight of my separation accumulates within and as me, as energy becoming the directive of myself as I have misaligned myself through a mind, not understanding how the mind works, and thus have I accepted and allowed complacency to be what is real not seeing realizing and understanding that this complacency is the waste of a life lived in self interest only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am here, that I can breath, that i can see, realize and understand how this actual physical world functions through simple common sense and bring myself back into and as the physical and direct myself here, from this point to begin to practice walking equal and one to and as the physical here, no drugs necessary, no hand holding with an illusionary god, no reference to an invisible hand, no acceptance of a statement that it is difficult, no allowance that it is complicated, no disallowing communication until common sense of this actual physical world is aligned equal and one to all life, of which a visible existence of oneness and equality as heaven on earth, where all life here moves in and at ease, where no matter whose shoes I walk, I am at ease here, equal and one to and as an expression of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the passive bully.
Self commitments to follow.

Day 281 The Sabotage of Predictive Programming: Not Enough Food to Feed the World.

Genetic Roulette - The Gamble of Our Lives


The Problem

It has been stated again and again, that science has found ways to feed the growing population of the world, via the use of petrochemical pesticides, which were developed during WWII. This was the way to take care of the growing populations in the world.
Here we are more than 60 years later and still, starvation and nutritional deficiencies remain and are even becoming more extreme, affecting the next generation, where it has been predicted that the present generation of children will not live as long as the previous generation.
The initial use of multinational developed agricultural products fell short after a few generations of crops began to show signs of more and more pesticide need in order to produce.
Meanwhile, practices that sustained the soils and the plants in tandem with nature started to outperform the petrochemical agricultural developments.
All the while, what was being programmed was that this new science of agriculture was going to feed the world. This is the program, and this program has led people to believe that there is not enough food in the world to feed the people and animals of this world.
Not only, does such impulsing create a level of fear, that there will not be enough food to feed the world, as an undercurrent idea, it also suggests that there is only one way to produce enough food to feed the world. This is the presentation of one way only, and thus this is what is believed as a solo belief in the minds of men. Unless men, investigate and question this program. There are many who have stood up, and because of this have lost their jobs, so brutal is the greed for profit. If the populace listens to a singular presentation without question, even in the face of evidence against this, and this behavior within being able to program a human, is known, then there is not much hope for mankind. What men must realize is how programmable the human as mind really is, in order to be able to stop and look and question everything we have accepted and allowed.
Within this, we have the physical world. The physical is what is real and it tells us where we have misaligned ourselves within the choices we accept and allow. In all common sense, the very presence of a dictating voice, indicates that something is amiss, as this is a directive to a voice, away from what is physically before us. The simplicity of the solution, is to actually look at what physically exists on this earth. The physical is the real story, the physical is touch with all sense of self, moving here. The physical world if a sensation far more aware than what can be planted into the mind as imagination.
Within the imagination the future is blissful, yet somehow, the reality of the future when the future is reached never is what the imagination promised. And this should be enough to start the questions coming. The promises presented have not manifested.
Of course, on another front, if it is known that the inhabitants of the world need food to sustain themselves in dignity, then this can be withheld, and what is of the land can then be grabbed to serve more greed, which is what is happening on this earth, deliberate abuse to serve some having more than others, and, again, we are all the same, we are life. A life able to be developed when given what is necessary to life in dignity.

The Solution

There is enough information present on the internet to realize that the beliefs imposed by a profit based petro-chemical industry have not in fact lived up to what was touted as an absolute. And yet, there is a lag in belief, a resistance to not accept the products created in accord with these supposed scientific based agricultural practices that will feed the world, as these products are sold at a price that does not reveal their true cost, effectively enslaving the people to a limited choice in what foods are purchased.The web is lowered and making a change seems impossible, yet this must be done, as what practices exist within this limited petrochemical endeavor are creating consequences of extreme abuse to plant, animal and human.
What is amazing is the amount of bullying that goes on behind the scenes, especially towards people, trained people, using their common sense to stand up and say, wait, this is not working, it is detrimental to the earth, the animals and the children. So rampant is greed that in the face of harm, the voice of greed hears nothing else but its desire. Thus, the programmers are stuck in their own program. A product of their own words, and all for the desire to have money, to have more money.
Thus, standing and accusing the programmers for the problems in ignorance of physical consequences is not going to change the program. It is the collective that will change the program, many people standing up, basically outnumbering the bullies that are essentially lost in their own words, their own gluttonous imaginative desires. They have been running after the dollar bill for so long they see nothing else.


The Rewards

No more blissful dreams of the future, where the future never seems to be what was imagined. Instead being here, equal and one with a physical world that functions within what is best for all. This is real actual living. THis is directing one’s self here, in totality instead of being an aching body lying on a bed dreaming. This is not life. Life is being here, at ease, equal and one with all of self and not just an imagination that never lives up to its promise.
I am not saying that all science is bad, I am sure there are things within scientific discovery that can be used to build a world that supports all life in becoming an expression of life absolutely, down to the smallest particle within self as one’s physical body, functioning optimally. I am saying that here is enough evidence that what is being practiced within a system that allows more for some and less for others, does not work, as it creates behaviors of greed, and imaginings of superiority in the face of the fact that we humans are all physically the same and require certain things to exist within dignity. This system of inequality has not developed life on earth, it is abusing it, thus it is not working.
So much is spent on indoctrination and grabbing for a few that if this effort and money were spent simply taking care of life, here, then all people, plants and animals would have lives of comfort and ease, interaction and discovery of understanding the physical world. I believe that if all the people of this earth were placed in one spot on earth, they would fit standing side by side on a piece of land the size of California. This tells us that there is more than enough space on this earth for humans to live and breath, and walk and exist in dignity. How about we rewrite the program to actually create a world where all life lives in dignity. In common sense, this can be done, just stop and breath and start questioning what you have been taught to believe.

                                                             Equal Money Capitalism
                                              The Capital is the Value of a Life Lived in Dignity

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Day 271 Fear of speaking Imagination dimension

My imagination brought up a memory of listening to my parents arguing, where I had said they were saying the same thing. Which did nothing to change the arguing. I dont’t remember what they were arguing about, I remember that they did not listen to what I said , turned this into a big “boohoo” moment of self pity with the words “not listening to me.” Does this personification of this past event do anything what-so-ever to be a solution for that past event or what I am here? What I hold from this memory has no substance, no directive capacity, especially since I cannot remember the details of the conflict. What I remember is trying to stop the arguing. So my focus was not on the issue, it was of my own self interest. Thus this is a memory of a bevy of self interest, based on ideas. I mean even if my parents were saying the same thing with different words, this has to be moved through, clarified, the immediate problem within the situation - as what was probably being argued for that became buried under personal-ity emotional/feeling needs/fears of ego/self definition piled on top of what was the real problem - and it was probably about money/survival.
Conflict is polarities within a conflict, polarities seeking ascension. Opposition wanting to win. Something, some thing wanted. Apart from what is needed for the human and the inhabitants of this earth to be, including the plants and the animals and the soils, all this being what is here being the very support of what is here, of which the human can no longer see, as they are no longer aware of what is here, as the very media we have accepted and allowed distorts reality into making aspects of reality HUGE, ignoring practical living. The outcome is that no one is in fact practicing real physical living. Where what is magnified in our media warps reality and practical awareness of learning to interact, understand, communicate with, what is here, what is physically really here, is lost.
So, the warped reality presented by the media, is us, is what we have accepted and allowed. I mean, in all common sense, do animals fuck all day? According to so much of what is on the internet, in movies, is about fucking, about getting sex, some are a dialogue of values within getting sex, making it all right, but the end goal is getting sex. It is so warped that now sex is about getting a penis in every orifice possible. Is there really any sensation on many levels going on here? Obviously not. This warped desire is out of practical physical reality living, and the machine , as the human physical body, is separate from itself as life, and can only “read” limited sensations that are unsatisfying. It is like taking a perfect sensory machine and forcing it into a limited range of sensation, where that limited expression cannot possible release the very force moving the machine. Thus the machine goes hay-wire, as it cannot express itself fully, and end up burning itself up as it “unfulfilled” substance compounds and settles within, the settling building a personification using the same warped limited means of expression, which is brilliant in a way, as the very limitation is showing the plug, the limitation accepted, the separation from being aware of what is actually physically here, real, tangible. Thus this that is the “warp” must be forgiven, tempered back into awareness of the physical reality, where the “warp” will be lost, and what is real will be gained, the real being everything, awareness of everything. A human in full potential, being aware of here, practical, working with the gift of life, the physical world.
The mind, the image maker and the physical body holding this, has been clinging to limited values, and I said limited values, meaning the values are not “good or bad” - wanting a person to share your life with is not good or bad - a desire to interact with others is a part of this world, interaction with this physical world and all its forms is like playing in an orchestra. But we are not doing this, we have warped reality, and much of the world, the physical world, which is all of us, equally, is suffering because of it. And this is a crimeagainst life.
Thus, what is here on this earth, must be used practically, balanced, in common sense of what is needed to support life. The memories I have, are of me warping reality in self interest, in self pity, they are how I have separated myself into limited view points, unaware of what is real, physically practically real. And I am so used to the tension, the neurosis of this, that I no longer know silence and beingness, physical-absolute “peace”, direct communication with here in common sense.
It is time to stop the mind, the accumulated memories if taking things personally, self pity, me-mores, me lesses - the fears of loss, as this is self fearing not having , and what is it that self fears losing? That which is warped, as belief, opinion and idea, that is a distortion of reality, a separation from actual physical life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself sitting at the kitchen table in my childhood family house, where I take a picture in and as my mind, the image maker, and place a set of limited values onto this picture, energies of more than and less than, beliefs, opinions and ideas unequal to what is common sense of how the actual physical world practically exists functionally, and within this created a separation as a personality being a character of a judgement of a fear of losing something, as in not being noted as being more than, where, as in this memory, I became self pity in “not being listened to” that is in itself a limitation as this memory remembers myself without reference to what is practically physically real, as how what is here functions in form, this form the very support of life, the gift of life to breath, communicate, interact as being creative as an expression of life, that which is what we all are, here to simply be, breath, interact, communicate, express, transform, to sense the being of ourselves as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have limited myself within in not accepting this physical world in common sense,this gift that allows myself to become equal and one, in and as life here, where I equalize with the physical in common sense of what is supportive with and as the physical world, to express myself absolutely, as the organism as a whole, as earth, is the means to understand that life is the value, and not some secondary idea, as a secondary idea is a separation from the value as life as simply being here, as here is the only place I can exist, thus the physical is the gift of life, to be here, as this is really all that can be real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow memories, as images to be what is real, and within this to not realize that the cause of my separation from life, the cause of arguing, and self judgement, or any judgement, in and as what the mind voices, is myself, as i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is real, the substance of life, being equal and one in all physical manifestations on earth, this no one thing on this planet can be more or less than myself, and all that can exist in practice on earth is absolute respect and thus, care and support, for hat is physically here, absolutely, which needs to be implemented into a system that practices this absolute equality, to stop the warping of life, manifest as behaviors of conflict and friction, war and crime, starvation and animals abuse, soil erosion and water pollution, as the consequences of separation from how the actual real physical world functions, this anything that does not support this actual physical world is unacceptable, no matter how many bullying voicesor layers of bureaucracy have been created, as all of this must stop and a system that realizes the value is life, and must be supported as such, thus it is time, to implement a system of equality, equal support for all life on earth, where the capital of this earth is an expression of life, and must be utilized to support the expression of life, as this is the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become personifications of a belief in a “rightness”, where the moment i become this, I am in separation from what is here, as all I can do is focus myself here within and as what is practically physically here, and slow myself down and breath, to see, here, and then to express what is here in practical form, which will take patience and the development of common understanding of here, of which the physical world reveals, all that is needed is to be here, and thus within this, to allow any emotions and feelings as memories, that come into play as mind to be seen and forgiven as in correcting/aligning/equalizing through slowing down and breathing to forgive these as separations from what is here, as these emotions and feelings are self interested, self inter-rested in energy, as myself in separation from what is real as the value being life, where there is only here, in practical common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in separating myself from here, as this is what is taught as an accepted action of separation for generations as men on this earth of at-most-sphere/fear, I have, even when having a sense that something makes no sense, not followed through until that sense that something makes no sense, is answered, as I have allowed myself to desire to be right, just as my parents and those that came before me, as i have not been here, reading here, being one an equal to what is physically real, as what I am, as how I am here, accepting this physical world as life, as all life is life, and thus there can be no heaven andhell in separation, which would mean that this is a construction of separation, as all life would move as one, as the value being life absolutely, which can only happen here, in being here, at the very point of expression, as it is only here, that one can see and be, as the past is the past and not what is here.

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to bringing myself here, to what is real, to what is practical common sense living, as being life, here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to being physically present in common sense of what is here, as here is really all that the physical can exist as, communicate as.
I commit myself to, when and as i see pictures of myself, in and as my mind, in and as memory, to stop and to breath and to realize what emotions, thoughts and feelings I have accepted and allowed as the personification of myself here, that being what I allow as characters and thus imagine, as an alternate reality from here, to - once again- stop, and breath, and not fear this, but to stand equal and one in and as it, to recognize my own accepted and allowed separations as judgements of more than and less than, based on warped and distorted values taught as the present structure of resource/monetary profit, as idea, on paper, joined with “ what is for the common good” is incomplete, as profit has not been clearly defined, thus must this clarity be brought into the words used, the practices followed to equalize the statement of, for the common good, to be an understanding that the profit is being life, that the value is life, here.
I commit myself to breathing, to seeing realizing and understanding, when and as i find myself becoming emotional, or feeling excitement, or having thoughts of judgement, to stop and to breath, and to slow myself down to look at what is here as the actual physical world, and to realize that what is on paper is limited and spread out through layers of bureaucracy, which as a structure can be used to organize and distribute resources equally, in and as common sensically stabilizing the capital of this earth to support all life.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that when I am wanting to be validated, wanting to be “right” as in wanting acknowledgement, as being a memory, I am in fact in separation from here, I am rushing in desire, as desire is a distortion of reality into a more than, where this can be sensed as there is sense of falling as in being vertiginous, meaning “whirling around” as in not being stable, equal and one here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the use of any such statements as “ that is impossible,” or “I do not understand,” or “ that is utopia,” and or, any and all behaviors of aggressive bullying within or without, the exhibition of irritation, as an action in words with an emotional charge, that suggest what is being said or done is stupid, ignorant and or lacking in some way --without a corrective follow through directive, done with absolute desire for what is best for another, as what is best for all --are acts of ego and self interest, self inner-rest, in limited values separate from what is real, as this physical world, in common sense of what is best for all, thus what we/I have accepted as separation from common sense of what is real, here, the physical, is displayed in all behavior, in all words, in every moment, and thus, can nothing be hidden, as all is known, and the physical works in such brilliant ways, as a machine that expresses what is accepted and allowed as life, that all separation, all self interest, all existence of what one has accepted and allowed can be clearly seen, thus there is no hiding, and the belief in secrets is an illusion, thus, the idea that something must be kept secret, is actually an act in fear, and thus an act of self interest, an act of ignoring this actual physical world. It is as simple as that. You can run but you cannot hide.