I have moments from the past where I looked at something and had a noses that something was out of whack. It usually was a focus where I could not explain why I thought something was out of whack, or, as another way to say this is, ‘ not in synch.”
This is something I think is innate to all of us, as what we are. This is something that each one of us can realize. If anything we get caught up in the details of expressing ourselves as we cannot line up the words that paint the picture of the math that we see, or sense, being not in synch, somehow, in the world around us.
I can think of numerous instances in my life where this has happened. And I can compare this to performing to realize, as I had over the years, of what was happening that was the cause of both being able to sense something being out of synch and an ability to not quite be able to call out by name the math, the movement, the sense of the whole not being in balance. It is all around us, and we are the perfect mechanisms to understand this. We have all sensed this at some point in our lives. It has to be because of what we are, as forms, in totality. The statement that the veil is thin, is around and has been around for a reason, because it is a description of what is happening. It sticks , it holds, it cannot be denied.
I remember an instance where I really looked at my nephew, who is autistic. I mean, I stood there and really LOOKED. Meaning, I sensed him, in calm, just stood there and sensed him. Instead of being in fear of his erratic and unconventional movements, in relation to comparison ONLY, based on comparison within standard expectations, I LOOKED at him. I was not in a state of resistance, I just LOOKED. What came to me was a sense that he was completely out of synch within himself. It appeared that all the anxieties I knew from my family where swirling around ‘ in there’ and that this being was simply not able to synchronize with presence, his body and presence in a stable way, in a focus without an interference causing a huge effort to get himself to focus here.
Having such a ‘ thought’ about this, and this was before desteni , is overall telling. Why do I not trust such a thing? And why can I not see my own details that yet lack details? And why not stand up and say this! Why not trust myself enough to speak up as this? In all common sense we are physical BIO- LOGICal forms, and within my sense of a LACK of an ability to FOCUS as what I see, I am basically telling myself, revealing to myself, what is actually happening to the being in space and time. How is it that what is so obvious is ignored? I mean, if I can sense water getting hot to make tea, for example, or if I can sense a change in barometric pressure, or if I can feel the bite of a tick, why the fuck can I not sense the movement and flow and focus of another human being? Of course I can, as the very nature of what and who I am as the same physical information as this world around me. The only thing that would stop this, is information counter to this, said again ad again and again, that I would begin to FOLLOW that would be counter to what the FUCK I AM! What do we think the whole “ Plato’s wall” and the Machiavellian construct of voicing blame and spite as dis- SENT as information is and does? The math of separation is VISIBLE and all around us! In so many ways, it is actually not a rocket science, or, one could say we are the most perfect of mechanisms to sense the science of the physical around us. And why? Because we are of the same stuff!
An act of seeing ONLY the lack, and not also realizing the means of change out of that lack, in tandem with the behavior of calling out that lack ONLY, is a distraction of looking at the self - that self that has an innate ability to realize when something in this physical realm is out of synch, is out of harmony, is out of real presence, as out of FOCUS HERE. To ignore, or reject, or not use this sensibility as who and what we are, and to ONLY point out that lack - is that same sensibility being used, which means a sensibility exists! It is an admission of what we are, it is only that it is being MISS-used.
If one focuses ONLY on a resonant belief that was accepted and recited or used again and again, and FOLLOWED as that resonant belief within, which is a practice of and as following something instead of using an innate sense, which is a rejection of the self as life - life being a natural sensibility - then one becomes out of synch with this reality. This is something that no one can blame on any one or thing around them. And it can only be self corrected. This is a resonant entity, it is a MINED CON-SCIENCE. One has become and practices a consciousness of separation. The subconscious being the foundation of the parents being the same, and the unconscious this of the overall system, all accumulations as ideas, beliefs and opinions, composed in separation as a focus on LIMITED information accepted and allowed. This is, in other words, not a rocket science. The degree to which one cannot realize this, is the degree of one’s separation. It is visible in how much one projects the limited storied information onto objects around one, instead of standing within what is natural and innate, which is the ability to sense the whole and the parts, that ‘ nagging ‘ sense that something is out of whack, that each and every one of us has as who and what we really are.
If one does a discipline, such as performing with an instrument, in a group, it begins, over time, to become obvious when one is not in synch with the group and begs the question as to what is causing this out-of-synchness. The only thing that can block this, is within the self. One must ask the question as to what is blocking the focus ? One must listen to the body to realize what it is that is blocking the focus. What I noticed was that a part of me was focusing on, my children, when they were younger- for example. I had to learn to let one thing go, in the space for the moment that I was in, and focus on where I was. A consequence of this, after I had realized this, was that then chancing from the one to the other, was in itself challenging. This revealed to me that I was sluggish within myself, but in common sense I should be able to do this, as this was actually being mature ( as the terms I used and learned within this discipline). This, overall, is being a master of self, and creating a self. Yet, overall, this begged another question as to why any resistance to something was not realized for what it was, and why our system did not take this into consideration and even used this for gain, through forcing beliefs, and dis-allowing this to live in synch with this reality and how this all works! How many times has one realized that past actions were not what was best, and has shame for such actions, not wanting to go back and correct them? How many times have we wallowed in such, defining ourselves as such, using this very limited piece of a movement, to define ourselves to make ourselves ‘ better’ within a bubble of realization, instead of moving beyond this into realizing the moving parts within the whole, in relation to all of this? It is an indication of having lost a focus on the whole, which means one has an embedded resonance that has become larger than reality, that is what is distracting the self from being who and what we are by capacity, into sensing mis-takes of and as our state of being, in relation to an innate ability to SENSE, to be in COMMON SENSE of the overall movement and expression of this LIVING REALITY around us that is the same as us. This reality, as the physical is a beautiful design. We are the means to understand and create. We need only recognize the resonant ghost of mis-information through limited story accepted and allowed as reality, yet not ourselves standing within ourselves as who and what we really are. And, in a sense, all of our actions are us wanting to ultimately be in synch with this reality, because it is who and what we really are as this is the means of us being in living expression.
Just look at all the dogmas of self definition, based on environment and culture, the dogmas of religion and politics, ask yourself if these things lend life expression. Hold your breath, focus on those values and see if they can ultimately sustain you, or if what sustains you is BREATHING. This means that the PHYSICAL trees are necessary, or supersede any inner BELIEF system. Thus, what is ultimately real?
An interesting thing happened those years I was performing with small groups. As I started to sort this out within myself, to realize what I was doing within myself, I had people come up to me and say to me that I had a lot of PRESENCE on stage. I looked at this, with surprise and self interest, as I did that of which I speak, and did not relate this to what I was sorting out and realizing within myself. Yet, as I become more a master of myself, within my self, in relation to what I was doing, that focus improved and people noticed it.
What also happened, is nasty comments also came to me. It appeared as an out-of-context statement. I would react, yet also, had experienced a sense of myself knowing when I was in synch and present, meaning I knew when I was in focus, what I had not rehearsed enough etc. to know that no one could really know what I was being but myself. This was enough to begin to know the difference between supportive criticism and just simple nasty criticism.
Supportive criticism opens doors, as though it defines what one already senses, and is very clear- meaning one sees it immediately and is thankful. Nasty criticism usually makes no sense, and confuses. And yet, I know very good players who have a hard time between the two, which is an indication of not being in synch in itself- but that is within the individual.
If I can sense this, and this is something that is known, it means that that same sense in the self, is alive and present. The ability to sense the different colors of this, overall substantiates what is innate within all of us, as who and what we are, as living beings that are physical, and can sense the most subtle of things, down to seeing, realizing and understanding when we face an autistic person, that what is happening with that person, is a serious state of being out of synch with reality, with this physical reality.
This means that it is probably a cause of a number of things, that we have allowed pollutants in our environment from NOT LOOKING, and we have allowed a resonance of NOT LOOKING, that is causing what we are to be out of synch. We are therefor creating physical discord with reality within and as what we are placing as a math of separation, as a measure of separation as what we hold within us, that is of limited information, to inform the physical. It is , if we LOOK , as what is natural to what and who we are, the cause of so much out-of-synchness in our world today. We are moving against life. Yet we are, as the very nature of ourselves and the physical, as what is natural, the ability to move in synch with creation, as the physical reality that is life that is all around us.
On the world stage, it appears to me, that the bully of the media and certain institutions we have collectively allowed and as men, because the power is in the numbers, as men composing the system - it appears to me, that just as a nasty person realizing in contrast to a noticeable presence, attack and try and force a limitation to hide a reality. This behavior in itself screaming a separation from self, not wanting anyone to see that that self has rejected itself as life, and moving to attack anything that exposes its separation, and/or in many ways, a crying out of separation, as the practice of separation is all that is known, and all the expression of the entity knows how to be. So is it with some of our present systems, such as the CDC and the whole vaccine scenario. it is like it is screaming its demise, trying to hold onto something that is being exposed, and instead of LOOKING, does everything in its capacity to continue a false narrative. Thus, the movement of lack, in the overall system, behaves the same as what I experienced in my life in relation to movements and expressions around me. Thus, it is a pattern, recognizable, and of a measure, or math in this reality, visible and understandable within its accepted and allowed state of being. We individuals are no different. Such patterns can only exist within small measure, as a separation is a loss of presence, and only able to hold a chaos of no real self directive capacity- which is visible in its lack. If we take the time to look, can we not see the actions of institutions being that scared accusatory voice that uses hyperbole as limited value judgements that have no real clear description and directive practical measurable steps that open awareness, that point out where one is, with clarity and then give a measure that appears to voice just what one was seeing but was only on the cusp of calling out by name with clarity in the moment and therefor incredibly thankful of the clarity that defines effective practice that is a joy in and as self discovery into real self creation? The difference between the two is HUGE, and visible, if one takes the time to really LOOK. This ability is the capacity of who and what each and everyone of us is as life. It is time that we create ourselves as life, which means to stand in the image and likeness of this practical and physical and visible reality. We all have moments where we realize this. We need only LOOK here. Breathe.
