Day 698 I love words. Yet not in the way I think.

I have been told that I am, or have loved, to be intellectual. Yet, this being true to some extent, it never really quite fit.  I loved words in many ways. I loved it when someone said something in a different way. I could read very badly written books just to hear how the person said something. Here, in contrast, I have so-called educated friends that could not read a book that was badly written.  Thus, by contrast, I was not only, as another way to say this, interested in well written books, I could read and listen to people who were not so polished in their use of words.  I had learned that even unsophisticated word use could have, in relation to myself, undiscovered insight and perspective. Because of this, I did not see myself as an intellectual. Through a measure of not only reading some collectively accepted ‘ well written or spoken “ word usage, I did not place myself in being ‘ intellectual.”  Amazing how I can justify resisting one point through one degree of difference! lol Yet, this is also a misplaced creative ability, an ability to absorb and discern measure.  This is a great strength turned within, inverting things within only, and as a consequence completely separate from reality, from the physical, from including reference to all life. 

In a moment, I realized how I had used words as a shield, creating a personality. In that moment, there was that personality, like a projection of an idea, to protect me ( from?) as loving words. By extension this is loving information.  I created a protective wall of words. There I was standing behind the words. In that moment, my whole voice and presence changed, like a mirage being removed, or being seen. I can’t do that anymore.  It is to say that I always gave from a point of self protection, which is self interest, and never gave of myself.  My survival came first. 

So, I ask myself, have I listened to words to protect myself, or have I listened to words to see through the veiled constructions of others in lack or in a seeming polished word use?  And, by extension,  have I been a seeker and a lover of information,? The difference is so subtle, yet both exist, and they are an occupation, separating me from myself, from being present here.  It is no wonder I have not been able to open my heart and give of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to love words in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use words in protection and self defense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a personality, a persona of words, charging words with a value in and of themselves.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that words are a means of communication, never being the reality around me as the physical, the real information that is creation information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I do not have the words I do not understand, thereby getting caught up in such a belief, and missing what is right here in front of me, as the physical, where words are the means of men to communicate and order themselves within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make idols of words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a dictionary lacking reference to life, as the physical, the real information of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cling to words as a means of getting attention.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that part of me that forms the words,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to over time, lose myself in words, and separate myself from being grounded, here, equal with what is real, as the physical, as who and what I am before any words came to be the means of communication as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into self pity, like a rain coming down, from my mind, like the death of an idea, as something I have allowed to limit the expression of myself as life, and to feel shame, and regret, as this is more of the same, as myself in separation from being present here, respecting everything that is here as the physical world, thus instead of self pity, and shame and regret, it is to ground myself here, standing up as who and what  I am as a physical beingness in expression here.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that my words are not enough, when it is not the words it is what and who I am in relation to the words I speak.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remember myself to the physical in every moment, in every breath, the very infrastructure of here, as this earth, as this hearth, as this heart of and as me, being grounded in reality as the physical, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become like the stars in the sky, emerging from the darkness, as being the real potential of myself as life, in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as an inflated value system, charged with resistances and acceptances as value judgements about the physical, in protection and defense of my own fear of being life, in a mind consciousness system of limited ideas, opinions and beliefs, hidden in the labels  and idols of gender, culture, race, nationality, class, religion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide through the use of words, in ritual, tradition, and testimonials about reality without real investigation that I have accepted and allowed without question and without cross reference to the practical, as the physical reality that is me, before any and all ideas, beliefs and opinions I accept and allow to define me, and to instead remember being present and grounded, in respect of the infrastructure of and as the physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the present system is the same as me,  using constructs of and as words to create a legal fiction supporting a military industrial complex of protection and defense, using the economy of the ecology that is the means of life  to hold in place constructs of beliefs , opinions and ideas, creating rituals, ceremonies and testaments  that one thing is more than another, all in separation from reality as the physical.

When and as I find myself beginning to speak, I stop and I breath, and I ground myself here, slowing way down, to assess my starting point.

When and as I find myself beginning to speak, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I remember the physical the practical, here.

When and as I find myself using words, within and without, I slow way down, breath and ground myself here, remembering my feet on the ground, and all that is here as the physical, the trees, the animals, the plants, the planets, the air, the water, the soils, the birds, the dogs, the cats, the horses etc.

When and as I find myself placing myself into and as words, I stop, I breath, I slow myself way down, to accept and allow the physical as me, here.

When and as I find myself moving to express words, I stop, I assess reality, I ground myself, here,   I let go of the past, as what I have accepted and allowed, and I stand here.

When and as I find myself reacting to words, I stop and I breath, and I sort them out here, grounding them here, bringing resistances, jealousies, limitations here, relating ideas, beliefs and opinions as words, to the physical, as reality, as the practical, here. 

When and as I find myself becoming tense, within and as my chest area, and my physical body, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, no longer accepting and allowing a projection of words as a wall of defense, to realize the simple in the moment, as I am here, in this moment.

When and as I find myself  reacting to limitation, to resistance, to justification, to jealousy, I stop and I breath and I ground myself in the infrastructure of the physical, to live what is practical, here, realizing what does no harm, here.

When and as I find myself becoming a personality of words, of loving words, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, equal and one to the physical, in respect of life, here.

When and as I find myself moving as words only, I stop and I breath, and I ground myself here, to see realize and understand the physical, to understand life, which is physical through a cross reference of the life that surrounds me and is me as the physical.

When and as I find myself listening to words I see, realize and understand that I can hear the subtle articulations and pressures of values pulled into greater emphasis or lack of being processed, the tapering off of sound, the clutter of justification, and I see realize and understand that no matter what, the words are in the end a reflection of reality, a type of song in chaos, of and about the physical and yet they are the seeds of creation, as words are things and they are sound. 

Day 692 The richness of potential. It is always here.

In people I notice that there is something soft and fluid. A sharp edge can appear and yet, it will yield to a softer openness, and change.

I tend to look at what is sharp, and avoid this. I forget the softness that is always there, something always within reach.  Just as it is within myself, letting go of things and taking the time to look here, see perspective. It is that which allows perspective. It is only difficult if I accept and allow it to be difficult. What is hard, is not letting go,  what it hard and sharp is the shield of protection and defense, in fear. In fear, I lose the choice to look and let go and see what is ever present, always underlying everything, something that nurtures in every moment. Something that nurtures with a constancy that never ever disappears unless I allow it to within myself.

This would be the nature of creation, that absolute purpose, that absolute potential, a constant.

The potential a richness that can shape into anything, that can become anything as it is everything at the same time. It is always present and can be accepted in an instant. 

It is not like the so-called white light. That is like a shower of something that appears to hold a promise yet that is all - it appears to have promise, and yet it is a false promise.

This softness, that gentleness, that has unlimited potential and  never ever goes away, it is like an infinite nurturing. The irony is that one will only ever fall into that nurturing softness because it is that from which all life springs, a richness full of  potential, and it is always there, ready to catch one, always in all ways.  It is only a thin veil away.

To become one and equal to that potential is a journey to life, a journey out of the mind consciousness that is a false promise, a survival suit in self interest. It is a journey out of fear, out of the friction of good and evil and a parting of the veils of a mind consciousness, an imperfect practice out of sync with creation. 

Day 456 Protection and defense in the face of self validation

I had a reaction to a person this weekend and I realize that I was fearing a loss, as in believing myself to be inferior. As such I could only manage my ire instead of directing within a solution, where I took that which is good and directed it in such a way that supported everyone in the situation. So, in looking at the presentation that I reacted to, how could I  accept the self validation before me and walk it into what would be a structure of support? How could I create a situation that allowed interaction, that allowed interactive relationships that were a win-win for all parties involved? Thus, to direct instead of react? To “ play,” to build instead of fear? For this, the solution was to move as what is best for all, as has been said, if one uses the principle of what is best for all, then the way is clear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being seen as inferior.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react when another states what they are, not seeing realizing and understanding that i can accept what another is and take this into what would be what is best for all, thus not denying what is here, but accepting it and moving it into a part of a scenario as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself  to compare myself to a statement as a validation as a belief being voiced of what someone is and does, and within this to accept this and place this into a scenario that functions, to the best of my ability, as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself, within this reaction, to not see realize and understand that in accepting a statement as an absolute, an end game, I react in anger because I am allowing myself to become a belief that I am less than the statement, less than the label, and as this am lost in comparison without looking at how this position touted is myself in another life, an expression as a part of the whole, where I am another part of that whole, a whole that can function  as a system that moves in support of all the parts involved and thus within the principle of what is best for all, can be directed into a structure that moves as what builds a community that is a win-win for all involved.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I react, I am existing within inferiority, and as such constrict within and as my physical body, which is myself in comparison based on ideas of win and lose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become spiteful in and as my mind, to not see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to become inferior I begin to compare and then to select in self interest what is a belief as a “ good” about myself, and a belief as a “ bad” about another, which is a protection and defense of my own lack of looking, my own lack of self responsibility as life, this being the absolute purpose of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how within and as becoming an act of comparison to another I become diffident as in silent in some situations and as such physically allow a sense of hopelessness as a perceived " hurt" and physically become a sinking in and as my chest area, and at other times I have an irritability rise up within me in and as an energetic movement of protection and defense and move in word thought and deed to offend that which I am allowing myself to become inferior to and or believe threatens a belief of myself as being superior, and as this energetic movement within I stop and I breath and I give up this self definition to realize the principle of what is best for all and I direct within and as that which causes no harm, as that which takes what is good and realize the solution towards what is best for all as this is what is best for self, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take a statement of belief as what someone says they are, as something superior to myself, to see superiority as a spite directed to and towards myself, to which I become a retort as spite, in protection and defense where in reality I am only defending and protecting myself own sense of inferiority instead of realizing I am here  and that a belief in one thing being more than another is a separation from myself accepting and allowing myself as life, as ideas of more than and less than only exist if I accept and allow them.

 When and as I find myself reacting to another’s self validation I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I apply the principle of what is best for all, as in what would a situation that creates a win-win scenario as all the parts of myself as life that is me without and within.

When and as I find myself as a reaction I see, realize and understand that I am defining myself as inferior or superior, connecting myself to being less than or more than, fearing a loss and or wanting to hold onto a perceived gain, and as such I do not allow myself to become indolent, I slow myself down and I breath, and I direct within taking that which is good and apply the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for self, as another as life, is what is best for myself as this is realizing equality and oneness in and as life here.

When and as I find myself reacting in separation from myself as life in and as judgement as end game as  a label of less than as a belief of a fear of loss, I stop and I breath and I no longer allow myself to disrespect life, and I slow down and employ the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for self is that which is a win-win situation.

Day 455 Protection and Defense. The loss of humility.

Protection and Defense

I am looking at how I protect and defend myself in my world, which is pushing away that which I do not stand through, avoiding looking at the movement around me, which began in childhood in not having the words to describe what is around me, or not having the authority to speak because of being a child.

I watched a documentary on ADHD and there was this one child who would tape things, his window and his toys as though to direct himself within administering his own punishment, which is telling of the environment in which he lived.

The bottom line was that he had to adhere to the emotional status of the family, which meant he could not move, because the whole tone of his world was confined to existence, probably limited financially, dreams and ideas of what life would/should be lost, and this made bigger as a within idea than the practical physical world without. Practical existence becomes a burden instead of a joy, as an idea of life, a fairy tale - as what is impulsed during childhood- does not teach/focus onto/enjoy the very physical interactions of our world and how all physical connection and interaction is what allows creation to exist. Thus, it is not that the points within fairy tales are bad, but that they become the inner memory as point of view, as story told, when chased in the absence of learning the whole mechanisms of life, including one’s own actual physical body ( meaning really learning to work within one’s physical body) so much is denied. This would confuse a child that comes into this world naturally discovering itself as a physical being. So, the child does not learn about itself in detail, and has to conform to ideas that bypass all explanation and self discovery of a physical being. And we wonder why there is ignorance of practical reality.

Does a child, before accepting the “ party dictate” rebel even within confusion because in taking on the limited explanations so much understanding in detail is lost, and this loss is then a lack of understanding, like bypass surgery of self understanding and thus equality to and as life , here.

Within this, does the knowledge and information without practical application become overwhelming as it really has no substantive practice as experience, thus the memory of inFORMation as mind is a dearth of evidence unequal to understanding physical reality.

Within this, so much time is spent on behavior modification, so much war as a life is forced into limitation. An indoctrination ensues that in itself has no real awareness of the physical world, the child sensing that something is lost, that a suicide of self as life is taking place, and as a small person has no chance and no developed voice to withstand the storm of separation into a image nation as mind that in itself is made bigger than the world without. This would be a hell for a person being born into this world. It is no wonder ADHD exists, it is no wonder children rebel, it is no wonder a child clings to their parents, because it is realized that the child is in a world of adults who ignore what is real, and in order to survive the child has to learn the limitation, and this is difficult because it is obvious as a learned and accepted confinement so entrenched as a program as behavior, a child is defenseless in finding a way out.

They give up and start repeating the parental line until the lie that is a limitation is repeated so many times it becomes a believed to be truth. Is this why the child speaking has an irregular breathing pattern physically. Will this child end up snoring as an adult, never having learned to be equal to self as life physically and as such struggling to breath, in essence never really having learned to breath, as imagination became the goal, a lie by omission, a control mechanism, a separation, and thus a lack of ease with the physical.

Does this sound like advertising? Does this sound like what we allow our politicians to be and do, through the use of ambiguity? This use of words that can have more than one meaning?

Is there a part of me that stubbornly refused to give up to the ghost in the machine as the limitation as the mind? And as this I am stuck in my own action?

And does this cause a lot os pain for myself, as I am a refusal as a reaction instead of clarity? And having said this, the search for the bridge in the separation, this which must be right here, as what is here is the physical world which is the reality,  I miss and or, if I begin to point out or have pointed out, have not understood the entrenched behaviors of another and that what I get is a reaction to the process needed that is a deconstruction of entrenched limitation, and entrenched dearth of understanding, as ideas have been made bigger than, as being unequal to physical reality. And within this, is this what is meant by bringing heaven - as mind, as inner imagery/imitation-of-physical-reality back down to earth. I mean what else would humans as being take in but the world without, what else is there? is not the gift of life this world, is this not where life is actually happening? Is this not what would be reflected to the within as what we are? And if we impose an alternate reality, as our media is in fact, would we not zoom in on this presentation that is limited and become the zoom-being of this presentation, the focus of this? And would this media not be the manifestation of what has been accepted within as we create what we selectively have taken in/imitated ( in me taken)? And this zombie is simply the ghost in the machine as the physical form, that ignores physical reality as the ghost is believed to be greater than, that it is in fact a parasite of, the physical body as a man.

What thoughts are the indicators of separation, what accumulated thoughts have built the emotion of ourselves, the feelings that exist within? Thus, the unconscious is our collective limitations, and the subconscious would be our immediate cultural environment and the conscious would be what we wear as our personification values that maintain our character to a heaven of belief as mind that is in separation from physical reality, from equality and oneness to and as what is real, which is earth, the heart that bearths self to the expression of life enabled as the physical world. It is that all the letters in the word have the answer, earth - only the singular perspectives in the consequence of the letters can limit the understanding.

Ironically, in becoming a constriction as a belief in needing protection and defense, I limit myself. I makes claims and want them understood, acknowledged and in this process forget self direction, which can only exist within becoming equal and one to and as life. Nothing can be lost within this. The real loss is remaining within judgement without finding solutions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a protection and defense mode which is myself within judgement that something will be lost.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in becoming a belief that something can be lost, I see only that which can be lost, which is an idea, as the physical practical world is here, which means I, as I am here, am able to look at what is practically physically here and move in and as life, as that which does no harm and only, in common sense, directs in thought word and deed that which is a solution that considers all life equally.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to , within all this, to fear facing the bully of the mind, the bully of belief in self interest within myself and without.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the inner world as limited/selective ideologies as mind of the human has manifested without and until this is realized as a separation from life by the collective, the abuse of judgement, as the abuse of one thing being more than another will continue to be the movement of life on earth that is, if one takes the time to look around and understand the present system formation, has caused the need for behaviors of survival where everyone is vying for money, as this has been allowed to determine life, and thus within this playing the martyr is pointless, as the system in totality must change, because one person acting “ good” becomes a target and thus it is to realize that the collective is the power and that which must stand to get this earth in order, realizing that the physical world is what is real and that each of us has a responsibility to stand equal and one with the physical world as this is the value, as this is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not having any effect on the existence of limitation as the mind in humans.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all I can do at this point is investigate the accepted and allowed system and point out its limitations and corrective solutions, as it takes a collective to stand and change what has been the product of many generations of men.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not being understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have driven myself to succeed in other areas of myself in protection and defense, becoming a voice in and as my mind, that if I just keep going and just keep looking I will succeed, which consumed me to such an extent that I constricted within to listen to this motivational drive and within this ignored practical physical reality and an investigation into the systemic practices that created this overwhelming system of survival.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being labeled as unsuccessful.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that even when I happened to appear to be successful, there was a sense that an idea of winning or having won was not the real value, as in realizing that it was simply being that was the value.

When and as I find myself believing that i am not understood, I stop and I breath, and I realize that a cup is a cup, period.

When and as I find myself wanting to escape, to go into flight, I stop and I breath and I look here at physical reality, and I look at what is real, as the physical, I do not allow myself to only be compassion for an emotion, I take that motion and I bring this back down to earth, within and without, to realize what is common sense on a physical planet that is the form and function of life.

When and as I find myself becoming sad, I stop and I breath, and i realize that the solution is what is best for all, which means what supports physical existence absolutely, and that the answer, the solution is right here in front of me/us and that this can be revealed in all humility again and again, no matter the bully of self interested profit which is in essence a fear of loss as an idea that bears no witness to physical form and function as life is a physical mechanism as this would be what enables life, here, thus allowing financial lack is a crime against life, as the physical manifestation of life, as what life would, requires certain basic needs to fulfill its “ rightness” as the expression of life.

When and as I find myself feeling uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I use my common sense ability as my human physical body to find the solution that is what is best for all in thought word and deed, I balance myself here within and as the physical, where there is no need to drive myself into an idea based on my culture and past into an imagined personification of success.

When and as I find myself moving into anger, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that within and as anger, I am within judgement, and not in humility, here, choosing that which does no harm, choosing that which is best for all, and thus, within the slightest rise of irritation, I stop and I breath, and I remember myself to humility and I look to a solution that brings a fear of loss back into common sense and I direct within what is best for all here.

                                                          DIP Lite Desteni I Process Self discovery

Stand as realizing the physical has basic needs to stand as life in full capacity, and as this, all of earth must be cared for, utilized in ways that cause absolutely no harm, as the physical is the gift of life.

Living Income Guarantee. 

Day 369 Protection and defense is fear of life.

What is it that I am paranoid of? What in my secret mind do I fear? Having walked some fears, I realize that fear is simply a separation, an illusion, a less than in that it is not being equal and one to here, to life. Thus fear is simply suppression of giving without fear of loss, meaning becoming stagnant within giving of self as life. If we give as we would like to receive then life will be lived instead of what presently exists on earth, I mean the numbers of impoverished people in America is increasing, and we are allowing an industry of natural resource extraction for energy needs to continue despite alternatives, because alternatives use the sun and the wind, and these cannot be so readily owned and thus driven into profits for a few, so in essence we are allowing a representative government use the fruits of our labor to build drones/war machines in their own self interest. 

And so many of us are stuck in these grids, our incomes dependent on practices that we know and our governments know are detrimental, and yet we do nothing despite the harm and destruction these practices cause. Thus we are all responsible for what is here, and we must stop this because it only accumulates, as it is presently doing, to a greater degree, exponentially. The numbers of growing homeless in America are a indication of this. Of course those who benefit from this, become more and more paranoid, as the growing number of restless people mean a threat to their survival. Drones in American cities are the construct of a perfect storm in their self interest, as more and more become homeless and frustrated because they have no means to live a decent life. For this we are all to blame, as what is here has been developed by many many generations and many many hands, thus what is here cannot be owned by a few, it is only words on a page that say so, words that have no connection to reality, words of a human being who is not listening to common sense, only the fear of loss, the illusion of loss  based on ideas that are in separation from life, believing themselves to be more than, when they are men just like you and me.

So while I am memorizing this presentation, I have to stop myself from tensing up, again and again and again, it is like a constant thing I have to keep myself aware of, sometimes I don’t catch it and my legs become tense as I mostly tense up in my legs. 

Sometimes I manage to just let things go and then I can laugh. That laughter is so much easier after walking the desteni i process. And, the sense of direction as the principle of what is best for all as being the only choice to live, allows for self responsibility within giving self as life, here. All the ideas that one has about who one is, based on class, gender, nationality, family, are limited when they become the only parameters of what self defines self as. Let these go and give yourself to yourself as life, discover common sense , and start speaking this, the world around you will react, as they simply have not lived in common sense, but in survival, and the switch within giving up an imaginary fear of loss, to realize that what we have allowed within has manifested without  and must change, and is the only choice to put and end to the abuse of life on earth.

More and more I see how i must always be here, remind myself of this actual physical world, this real structure of what I am as life. What goes on in my mind is the spoke in the wheel. Thoughts and the accumulation of thoughts, my emotions and feelings are what I have made larger than life and thus superior to life, so when I have to actually be here, physically here, my senses are so caught up in my thoughts, my memories, I have allowed myself to be in separation from my own common sense. And my thoughts are all of paranoia, myself wanting to control here, which is pointless because the physical world is a visible structure that can be understood. One simply has to look.

Which brings me to the point of what we are accepting and allowing, having abdicated ourselves from our common sense ability into projections of fear as protecting and defending an inner idea as an image of what we are, a false idol about which we were warned against becoming, as having created a governmental structure of representation to be responsible for our needs. This development in itself and indication that we have lost touch with reality as we are asking someone else to take care and be aware of our life supporting environment for us. This is a red flag in itself, as why would we need another to be aware for us, it would mean that we have lost an ability to be aware. Equal living would mean equal participation, one would want to participate within what happens on our home this earth.

This also makes it clear, that if we are accepting representation, then those taking on the representation realize that an order has to be built , which means the order of the physical as itself is no longer seeing directly here in common sense.  The actual need for representation means a separation from life, which means that that representation is also separate from life. One is the continuance of the other. So, of this course, the outcome is acts of self interest in a world where there is abdication of self as life. The physical world is what is real the picture in your mind is not, it is the illusion of separation made bigger than life. it is not facing the real physical world, it is losing the real structure of support. In losing what is real, and making consciousness, as mind, as image bigger, we must realize that in order for this imagination to  exist it must feed off of something, and that is our human physical bodies.

Instead of directing ourselves here as the physical, we are directing ourselves as a fear of death, a fear of loss, and in directing our awareness into and as this, we ignore physical reality/life. And we have built this present system in this image and likeness of what we have allowed within. SO we have a system that protects in self interest, the self interest of our representatives that are same within as us, it is just that they have their hands on the means of gain, money. Money has no meaning but what we accept and allow it to have. And we have accepted and allowed an imaginary system, where value is placed in paper, or digits and it is determining the life of many. The consequences of this are resonant with our flesh and we pass the accumulated separation on from one generation to the next, as the very script we have created , as the drama now playing out on earth.

So, the consequences are for us that are here to clean up. And this is common sense. They are the outflow of our own abdication as life.

So, I am so busy with my protection and defense system built to maintain an image of myself that I need a structure that takes care of the physical because I am only being responsible for my own system of protection, thus I am the cause of my own ignorance of what is here, and I handed this responsibility over to others caught in the same behavior. Thus, the ones I handed responsibility to are simply acting as I am, yet they have more say in the structure, which I gave to them, so they are using what they physically have control of to support their protection and defense of an image that they have of themselves, and naturally their image of themselves is one of being greater, because they have more things in their picture of what they are! And naturally, they want to own this, because they can, because we allowed this to be what is here, because we abdicated this to them. The consequences of this are playing out as we speak. Anything that allows autonomy of direct politicking, is not going to be allowed because it would mean a loss of an idea of being more, that has been built for generations. And all of it is an illusion, and this illusion is in separation from life, as the practices being allowed on earth show us.

Pollution is the consequence of trying to only allow practices that let those we have representing us because we abdicated our power as we were consumed with our own protection and defense of what we were as an idea, protecting their idea of what they are, thus they chose a structure that gives them more and they cannot see reality because they are in separation from it. This is a circular never ending game of separation from life. It is destructive as it lacks all common sense of what is real, the actual physical reality, the gift of life.

So, each of us has to realize that we as mind are existing as abdication of life, into and as ideas of what we are, fearing the loss of ourselves as an idea, where the real value as what we are is the substance of life, the physical stuff of life. Thus there is only one focus and that is on the actual physical world. This is why religions are illusive practices, and they are meant to feed separation, a perfect construct for the ones we gave our responsibility to, to continue their position. 

Our health institutions are known to use abusive practice, and yet we do nothing because we fear facing ourselves as life and what we have accepted and allowed. The only way out is to face our separation. DUH.

Our agricultural practices are in separation from life, manifest in the debilitation of the physical, which then is turned into profit, and systemically entrenched as the means of survival for many who fear change and income loss, and wait for someone else to find a solution, when the only solution is to change the system, to stop money moving as it does because it is a form of distribution. Money must be given to all, enough to give what the physical need for support, anything else is genocide, abuse, negligence, separation from life.

Our educational systems are not working, had they worked, then we would not have prisons. And here, as well, this suppression of life is turned into a profit making machine, and as with the health, there are many who cling to this system to survive, so why change this? So, it is simply accepted, and as something that creates jobs, but it is a form of genocide as well, and it is an act of abdication of life, and we are all to blame because we allowed it. But what must be understood is that the nature of this form only compounds and destroys itself, thus the only choice is to change this system, to take back our self responsibility and stand equal and one to the physical world, realizing it is us, it is what we are as life, and thus we need not fear it. We become equal to it and live as it, we form it, work with it, in ways that allow no abuse, that allow the expression of life. We must stop this indirection, this disinFORMation, that is what we are within, as consciousness, that is manifesting without as our actions of separation have accumulated and creating a world where we are not able to live. Which is the fault of each and every one of us because we chose an idea instead of reality as the actual physical world. In our resistance to life, we are in the process of destroying life. And the solution, is to stop, and to accept life, the actual physical world as being equal and one to us, and to take care of this, and realize the value is life, not what is in our minds as our thoughts, emotions , feelings, memories, characters, personalities, political, social, placements which  are secondary to life, the real value is being life.  We can no longer allow what we would not want done to us, thus stand up and support a system that takes care of this planet in equality, realizing that life is the value. Equal Money. Become common sense, it is you as life, being responsible here, realizing that being here is all that one can be.

Day 323 Being bullish with bullying

I realize in looking back in detail, as much as I am able, into my childhood , through looking at how i move myself here, the very emotional, feeling thought movement of myself here, this which takes some time to realize as what this means, yet all can do this, as this is something that is heavy, that is life an eddy of collected stagnant moments, turned into hope, Hope and an acronym for How Observant People Edify, meaning how people turn their fear into an icon, an idol as guide, when this is really un unresolved expression of self as life, here, at ease with the actual physical world, a creation of a movement of self in need, in desire, where the lens of self becomes a begging for this in thought, word and deed, thus, it is always in the words we speak, our own separations and desires, because we are machines reflecting what we allow ourselves to be, if we are dishonest with life, as what we are, we them become that dishonesty. We cry our dishonesty from life, our separation.

I am seeing Bernanke saying that her is trying to solve the financial crisis, that it all takes time, that it is complicated. It is only complicated because there is fear there, or, one could say there is not wanting to let go of having more than another. Of course there is no resolution of the financial crisis when letting go of having does not fit into the design of what would solve the crisis. The crisis is that in order for one to have what is needed to support life, means another cannot have, and all the systems are directed in such a way to maintain this belief. Bernanke is like a spider in a web, where the workings of the web are the system, and any imbalance triggers a reaction and the spider as illusive web maintainer cannot fathom the ground beneath the web, too busy is he/her with the web. The wave of common sense as life, as all men realizing and standing up can take this web away and let the sunlight in.

Back to myself here, I do this, in and out, from way out there, referencing the present system as the world, back to myself.

I have my own little, bubble/web self designed in protection and defense of my survival, as memories, of thoughts, words and deeds, a story of emotion and feelings coming in and flooding me as I stand here and breath, seeming so real, yet so heavy and consuming. I do not need television, I have my own, I only want the tv when I need a break from myself. lol

It is like a run to organize things, like a proper woman, but what I am doing is organizing things to avoid being bullied, and even to hide that I avoid being bullied. I even dreamup possible bullying scenarios in and as my mind, where being bullied is really being rejected. So it is like I fear being bullied, and then I watch my reactions of others, to ensure I am accepted by them, which means I will then, because I am accepted, not be bullied.

And then I am so busy doing this, that I am not here, I am way far, far ,far away, buried under this self imposed movement of protection and defense that I have no idea how to really communicate as myself here, I have so little practice within being forgiving, that even if I am for a moment a torrent of sadness and tears want to come, as the memories of what I have accepted and allowed, being a longing for underneath all of this, as I allowed myself to become hope, in waiting for some kind of change, as this was created as a child, a pattern of separation set, because there was no other place to go, or I did not have the language and skills, and size to describe, stand up to, pull together in words within facing here.
Physically, I notice that my breath shortens, and within I search for shields of protection to stop what is a threat of punishment within my environment, what is a threat to my existence.

So, I have to breath, through this, to bring myself here, in common sense, without a fear that something will be lost. I don’t even know if I know how to do this, I am going to have to practice this! It is like letting go and bringing it back to self to direct as life in forgiving as life, here.

How did I do this specifically? Through accepting and allowing and using as how I moved in thought word and deed, an ideology of one thing being more than another, of weighing and judging, one value made popular and touted as a glory of having won. But it is not something won, it is really the being of self LOST in survival being justification, separate from actual life, separate from the actual physical world.

The values presented as what is use to direct self within this, are reflected in the choices using the earth’s freely given resources as the products of the consumerist market, where, since these are parts of life, they are not “bad” they are limited and lack consideration of all life, and thus, considering all life, means letting go of the soldiered self of limited bought products that are the fashions of protection and defense.

Bullying will always have limited values as what is used, because the very act of bullying is a separation from looking here,it is a destructive non directive criticism meant to diminish, stagnate instead of direct, show direction within awareness of self as life, as an expression of life, as what is real here. A bully cannot move at ease. A bully is the voiceof fear, a reaction in and as fear, a desperate act. Look, even trolls on the internet are men who are desperate to earn a living, It is like a last resort to survivel.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop and breath and look here, to see, realize and understand that i am life, here, one and equal to and as all that exists on this earth,as the very substance and expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what is here on this earth as the physical world is life, and thus is a system that can be understood, realized here, as myself as the substance of life, this being the value, where it is the selection of limited values made icon, used to con, into and as limited expressions in and as energy as the mind warping reality into limited insight into and as what is here, creating a world of hu-men, into a system of protection and defense in separation from the gift of life, as the promise, the real promise of heaven, given, freely, for life to self realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain here, equal and one to and as breath, to slow down and to communicate with what is here, to realize myself as life in totality, to become one and equal to and as what i am, life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe through a thought that what is here will punish me if I do not match the state of limitation of another, to match a belief, to stand up to a limited belief that is within limitation as mind, as an allowed existential separation from equality and oneness within the value being life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have kept the enemy at bay, which in and as itself was a judgement, a labeling, that was a movement into a separation from and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have stopped breathing, to have become an erratic breath, not seeing realizing and understanding that my physical body, the form of life given to self realize myself as life, was showing me in my own state of disease to and as life, here, where the stopping, hesitant, irractic breath as what I allowed was moving into an ambiguity, a distance from being one and equal here, as life, not seeing understanding how to communicate what was here, as the very substance of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to develop a coping mechanism of protection and defense hidden in the guise of organizing what is here into and as limited values to present agreement, qualified/ recognized/attended to as acceptance with a smile, with energetic empathy, which I accepted as a success in distancing myself from punishment, from being cast out, from becoming a scape goat, from being bullied within being called names, being labeled as less than, being disallowed communication and interaction, thus, became I, a personification in and as what serves a system of separation from life, here , into and as the various roles and the behaviors within and as how these roles move here, within being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a consumer, an American, a human, a class based guidance system, a wife, a wife a widow, a spewer of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, a spender without consideration of where and how and who created and moved the physical things of this earth that can only be moved by the various ways the hands of men have moved what is here, the complacent person, believing that it is too difficult to move myself here, not realizing seeing and understanding that the complacency is a byproduct, into and as a wasted human, because the weight of my separation accumulates within and as me, as energy becoming the directive of myself as I have misaligned myself through a mind, not understanding how the mind works, and thus have I accepted and allowed complacency to be what is real not seeing realizing and understanding that this complacency is the waste of a life lived in self interest only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am here, that I can breath, that i can see, realize and understand how this actual physical world functions through simple common sense and bring myself back into and as the physical and direct myself here, from this point to begin to practice walking equal and one to and as the physical here, no drugs necessary, no hand holding with an illusionary god, no reference to an invisible hand, no acceptance of a statement that it is difficult, no allowance that it is complicated, no disallowing communication until common sense of this actual physical world is aligned equal and one to all life, of which a visible existence of oneness and equality as heaven on earth, where all life here moves in and at ease, where no matter whose shoes I walk, I am at ease here, equal and one to and as an expression of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the passive bully.
Self commitments to follow.

Day 321 "Don't Look, Don't Look" back chat

How and when did I begin to separate into the fixation as fear, seeking the good “feeling” of validation, mimicking the adults?
So, in not looking, in the dictate of “ don’t look” I have to question why such thought would even exist. I mean why be this, why be a “not looking” at what is here? This in and of itself is a red flag. Life would not be an action of “don’t look”! Life would be live, look, understand, exist, be.
Thus, when I do not look here, when the voice in and as my mind says, “don’t look” I need to stop and to breath, and to slow myself down and to stand within and as what is physically real, to look at the words present , to realize where the words are of ambiguity, where they lack a defining of what is here as what is best for all, where such words disinform what is actually physically happening with the work of the hands of men, as this is what is real, to be and become self responsible within and as what exists within actions taken and the consequence to and towards the actual physical, to put an end to limited self interest, which is the interest of money moving to a few, to maintain an illusory existence in separation from common sense of the actual sustaining physical world.
This is to become the living word , the equal and one consideration of the actual physical world, and how what we allow and accept has consequences in the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to listen to a voice, in and as my mind that says, “ don’t look, don’t look”.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as allowing myself to constrict into “ don’t look”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being punished, to fear being bullied, and to run from this into and as verifying not being punished through getting attention that validates myself, within and as having the focus and attention from others being one that lacks an action of punishment, where the validation is a “feel good” energetic experience, as I have “won” the absence of punishment through interaction with another, as my parents for example, of having communication that is not of punishment, as blame and spite and name calling and spanking, where the communication is praise, of “light weight” “happy face” conversation, vapid, of verbal diarrhea, this that avoids looking here, realizing what is here as self as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I allow myself to “not look” I then have accepted the consequence of participating within ignorance of what is best for all as the physical, and within this non-looking to maintain my separation, my survival is a laziness within being equal and one with and as the real actual physical world,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this, drive myself to ensure that I will not be discovered and punished, cast out and ignored through non compliance of entering limited conversations, which I enter to survive, and then become addicted to the praise and friendship in and as energy as the positive feeling where I then seek this attention in self validation, thus making/allowing/justifying the separation from myself as common sense of the actual physical world as myself and how I am here within and as the physical as I include the physical as myself, from a starting point of fearing punishment and an action to ensure that punishment is kept at bay, distant, where what must be realized is that in fearing punishment, an action, a state of being as energy exists, in seeing only punishment and not looking in common sense at what is actually physically here, and within this to not become blame and spite and finger pointing, but to look and to direct self responsibly within and as what is best for all, including the physical, the ecology and the economy being equal and one on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become comfortable within this seeking of praise to “feel good” within and as energy as mind, in separation from looking here, being here, speaking in common sense, within realizing ecology is equal and one to economy, meaning the physical is what is real, as this is life, where this “feel good” is an avoidance tactic in looking at what is common sense, and a reaction to fear of being punished for questioning the limited self interest, ambiguity and disinformation presented within a design of inequality as self interest lacking awareness of the actual sustaining real physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is the confusion many children face, where this confusion is an inability to speak up in common sense, of the physical as a vocabulary has not developed, this which is used by the present system to maintain a belief that self interest, as those on the top of the pyramid cannot see anything else but their existence of comfort and believe this to be the way it is, by some illusory belief in a divine right, which is a total disconnect from physical reality, so evident in the state of the earth within the amount of poverty, sexual abuse, starvation and damage to the environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous within and as this, which is my self not slowing down and using common sense within and as deconstructing what is unacceptable, which will take the physical action of many, thus the idea of a super hero is an illusion, as we must all stand and be self responsible, which means walking through what self has accepted and allowed as mind as separation from common sense of the substance of life, as what this physical world is one and equal to and as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to avoid facing my own separations from and as myself as life here, into and as mind, to exist within and as a fear of being shut out, within and as speaking up in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in avoiding here, in fearing to speak up, I allowed myself to become righteous about issues separate from myself with which to be righteous, instead of walking in common sense here, with every breath, all of this a way to justify my own immediate fear of facing the bully in and as the mind, as I had found a comfortable way to keep the bully of “don’t look” at bay.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to face the systemic allowance of a dis-regard for life, a non-looking at life as the physical, I as myself must realize my own separations from common sense here and the character in validation protection and defense through seeking praise to establish security as ignoring what is here in common sense, to avoid confrontation and discord to and towards what does not make sense, what is of ambiguity and dis-information , to see realize and understand that the crime is to not point out what is in separation from looking in common sense of what is here in totality, this physical world being life.
I commit myself to, when and as i become a sense of fear, as a sense of falling, within and as coming from my solar plexus area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to not allow myself to become this sense of falling, of fear, and within this to begin to practice becoming self responsible and self directed within and as common sense, standing before reaction within and as my mind, and without as the voice of fear as separation from common sense, and I look here, practice looking here, taking the words that are presented here, and bring them back into and as being a living word in practical common sense interest within and as what is best for all, here.
I commit myself to walking one step at a time within practicing facing this fear that has a voice that is “ don’t look, don’t look” with a thought that in not looking I will appear to “fit in” with the status quo, which will end, if I continue, with a life not having been lived, as less was the stance taken to ensure survival, instead of self becoming equal and one to and as the living word, this being self living in equal consideration of all life, as life being the value, self living equal and one here without value judgements of more than and less than, and instead looking at what is here in practical common sense, where even the movements and structure of men can be seen realized and understood.

Day 268 The happy face of the profit motive uses a projection of what is best for all, yet the directive is profit only.

The happy face of the profit motive uses a projection of what is best for all, yet the directive is profit only.

The state statue in the state of Massachusetts is to ensure the common good before profit. Yet within this equation of words is the method of deception and the cause of abuse on earth.
What in fact exists, is the face of what is best as the presentation only, even written in law, that profit must create a profit. What exists is the reverse, profit has the power and stands in voice only as what is best for all. Looking at the state of this world, the pollution, the crime, the starvation, the lack of health, the slaughter of animals, the eroding of the soils, it is obvious that what is best for all does not in fact exist.
And the present layers of bureaucracy exist within protection and defense of profit. These layers of supposed organization were ordered, as what is presented, to support the people, the earth, yet these are the walls of the castle of profit. These walls built by the hands of men, generations of men, are PRESENTly utilized to protect and defend, not support and care for the earth.
Yet, this is the point, the structures are here, the organization is here, and the reason for this organization is stated. Is it too hard to believe that this same structure need but remove one motive, and replace this with an equal action fitting to the words “ for the common good”?
This would mean, that theses layers of committees and “governing bodies” meant to ensure the common good actually practice this. The local, the regional, the continental, the hemispheric, the global systems in place need only move from protection and defense and allow life to flow to all, allow what sustains to flow to all, allow a communication that uses the actual physical world to see what exists and what is actually needed to support life to its fullest expression. We now have a a means to visibly show what exists on earth, we have the means to actually see what is the consequence of our actions. We also have a basic structure in place, that can distribute and organize the capital of this earth to flow as what is supportive and best for all.

If we look to what the media, the politicians project, we see a happy face, oh so “liberal” presentation. Always slogans of hope and stories of development, yet there is no absolute within this presentation existent. We are shown parts and not the whole. And if one asks the wall of protection why, the answer is the bully of protection and defense, as this is the language taught to what is an organizational structure hung with banners saying the opposite of what is behind the banner. The banner, the presentation, the happy face, the veneer, a picture of “for the common good”, but really a mask hiding protection and defense of fearing the expression of life.
This is the image and likeness of each of us. We have allowed a structure that is the reflection of ourselves. We are actually protecting and defending our own fear of being life.
On top of this, we have placed the words, that human nature cannot change, despite the fact that we develop humans to do such things as play musical instruments with great skill, that we take care of race horses to run like the wind. We show ourselves that we know how to develop, that we know the physical world is able to be developed and refined and taught, thus changed, transformed into something expressive and alive. Thus, we contradict ourselves and blind ourselves from the obvious, and get caught up in protection and defense, and all the while the answer is right here in front of us. It is in our stories, it is in our words, it is in our paper work, our definitions, right in front of our eyes. There is no magic in this, it is simply common sense, what we as life as the physical have been given, a gift to express ourselves as life. Simply being.
We can look at what we are as the behaviors we manifest and see that the dis-ease within is a constriction into a stance of protection and defense. This movement we have eachaccepted and allowed, and taught to our children can be directed and developed and supported to become a fully expressed life. This actual physical world, the tool, the means to sense self direction as life, as physical suppression as life is felt in and as dis-ease. All that we are is able to be sensed as we are the very substance of life, we are simply not using this within being equal and one to and as life, we are in reality protecting and defending our own fear of being ourselves as life. We are denying ourselves the gift of life.
This has gone on for so long, that it is systemic within the structures on earth, thus, to change this within and without, the way the capital of the earth is directed must change to what supports all life, leaving no one behind, as the earth is an organism that will only move/develop when all parts are in working order. Equal Money Capitalism is the means to turn this structure of protection and defense of profit into a system that supports what is best for all, as this is the only choice. A choice in practice that shows that the human has matured into being equal and one to and as life here. That the human has finally begun to understand that the value is life, that the human is willing to let go of fearing itself as life, to stopping fear based behaviors of protection and defense, and to finally stand equal and one, to and as what is best for all, what is for the common good, to be and become, respect and communicate, with and as life, here.
Walk the desteni lite process to realize how your emotions, thoughts and feelings are your underlying wall of protection and defense hidden behind a positive presentation of happiness, to realign yourself back to yourself as life. You have the will of introspection as a gift with which to do this.
Support an Equal Money System, to reverse what is here, to be and become an action of what is best for all, what is for the common good. The tools and the means are here. Self can stand as life.

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