Day 686 Revisiting Blame. Realizing the practice of self forgiveness and self correction.

When I go into anger I go into fear. My reflection is then based on limitation, as I am fearing survival more than being present here, equal and one to the math of existence, a physical existence.

I mean, why does television effective? Why is the measure of it so ubiquitous? Why have a measure constantly broadcast, and all the advertising images, incessantly? Why is a form, as a picture, covering the physical environment in which we life? Why is a child born without religion, nationality, class, gender awareness, skin color awareness? The simplicity of this math, is evident all around us. What blinds us, is evident all around us. What separates us from practical movement in our lives, is all around us. The simplicity of this is astounding, the complexity the consequence of the superimposition of a measure/story that is  extremely limited.

Can we not understand that a fiat currency is our labor? Can we not see that the value from the labor is siphoned off and flowing into a central entity that projects the limitations in contradiction of life: an example the supposed ‘ superman’ story? All the while the fiat currency flows the value being life as in doing, that is done with a collective effort as how things are built, from freely given resources into a centralized regime that touts what suppresses the life within. Are we not all this in measure when we ignore the world around is as we are caught in an imaginary elephant-in-the-room that is the valley of shadows as our minds of thoughts?  So, that centralized regime, feeds of the whole, and touts a god, as a superman- the opposite of life. It is laughable when the reality of the indoctrination is the opposite of practical living. And meanwhile, it has been said again and again and again, that the veil is thin. And it has been said again and again and again that one must stop the ‘ spin ‘ of the memory/mind. And it has been said again and again and again, that we are in a cave watching shadows on a wall.  This slight of hand, this legerdemain is right in front of us, and what is real is under that illusion, that valley of smoke and mirrors .  What is real is right under that constant chatter, it is the physical. 

Why are children placed in a box for 13 years? Why is an absorbent beingness placed in a confined place to create an abstract image of information? What is that information? Is that information the real story? Would this not serve to suppress through a lie-by-omission story? Would this be called a limitation?  And if one practices through repetition being up there in the imagination for 13 years, not to mention the television as entertainment and baby sitting for parents that are a product of the same system, place presence into a very limited structure as that measure/information contained in that centralized regime information measure that serves to move that value as the labor of many, being what builds and creates as how things are done on this earth, into the hands of a few to decide what we eat, what we think, what we use, to control the frustrations from suppressing the full potential of what and who we are a physical beings?

Yet, it is done because we accept it, we allow it. We in this acceptance abdicated ourselves as life. When in reality, no one, and no thing can really decide who and what you are. That which follows is that which can assess and investigate and understand and then make choices that consider all things. Remember, if it is only working for a few, then it is not working. We have allowed a quantum construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct us, and the consequence is a frustrated life that is not in full expression. A lack of full expression is a suppression, a stress, because it is only through one’s real expression, as full employment of the inherent capacity of what one is as a physical being, does one find ease. The first step is to admit, that one has abdicated one’s self as life. And then, to begin to decode the limitation, forgive it, and ground one’s self back into considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This is to ensure that such a choice never happens again, because we learn through mis-takes. 

Hence, when I blame in any way, I perpetuate the limitation. Every movement within and as me, and every movement around me, if not related to a respect for life as a starting point, as an action of considering the physical, is an act of separation from life. I will in effect, never fit through the eye of the needle, that object that is used to join things together, to create. 

I am in effect, not slowing down when I move into blame. Blame is protection and self defense, in self interest, as that measure of separation of and as mind consciousness that lacks a focus on reality as the physical. To move as a directive principle in respect of the physical, I can address the limitations, being in expression as who and what I am, within realizing the means of a mind consciousness. The information that is a measure unequal to practical reality, is composed of judgement about things as measures of information. It is judgements about self, about others in relation to self, about information. So much of our in-formation an abstract about reality, as the physical. It is like a spinning thing, this entity of separation as imagination that is the mind that so many have said to stop. If one slows down, one can hear the back chat of this mind. 

Thus, why fear this paranormal entity that has no real connection to life, as the physical? The values touted as it, are short lived, meaning they have no longevity, which is why the media is a constant all around us.

Thus, when and as I move into blame, I must slow down, and realize that I have not listened to the information that is here enough to remain stable and consistent within and as directing in respect of what is real, which is the physical. My reaction is a fear of loss, based on survival. The solution is to realize that I need to hear that ‘ song/story’ again, to understand that math, the measure, the form, and then to assess and investigate, until I can un-tie the knot, the mis-take and ground the form/information back into what is a practical action with a stable relationship done in referencing the physical in all ways, always. In this, my starting point wills the ending point.

Last night I was playing with this, and I revisited a moment where I went into competition. I noticed that my thighs became inflamed . It is like needles of crystals climbing into the flesh, It hurts. I have to slow way down and realize the measure I am accepting and forgive it, transform it into what no longer moves, as being information, as belief, opinion of idea, as polarized value judgments, to realize what gives as I would receive .  I am already what it is that is life. That which follows this in-formation of value judgements that is the means of limitation, is that which can slow down and respect the physical. The physical being what is real.

I must realize my expectations, in self interest, in fear of survival as this is what I have accepted and allowed as a practice. All those ideas and desires, like wanting to have children, or wanting to move up in a career. Like wanting to be in a relationship, when the real relationship is here, as being physical, where there are many expressions, not only the limited touted as a value again and again. This the greed to create a life, within a narrow focus. Where one blames everything around one as not being effective. This act in itself a separation from moving into a solution that leaves no one behind.  This act usurious, rent seeking, believing that one knows. When the only solution is to be here, focused in every breath, in every move, realizing the nature of separation as the quantum measure, and the real significance, as the physical world. Within this can I ground myself here, remembering myself to the physical, where I could use the gift of myself , like that feral child, and sense that rabbit 20 meters away? Can I become the master of myself, which is to equalize to the physical world, as this is life information? If not me then who?

Remember the projections of Humpty Dumpty, are sourced from the physical. The stings of the limited information are visible, I need only slow down and stop competing. After all, what is real about who and what I am is physical. 

I can crystalize the water that is me into a fixed measure, or I can  master the flow of myself, as life, and remain constant and consistent with the physical as this is what is real. In effect, knowing myself as what I have accepted and allowed, and realizing where and when I constrict allowing myself to be defined by value judgements in survival, or I can realize the richness of myself as life, here. Within the nature of the richness of myself as life, is an ability to assess, to investigate, to slow down and hear the grass growing, to see the flicker of value judgements as personalities that can only scream the information accepted and allowed that has been allowed to define into a persona that is a separation from equality and oneness to and as life here, as the physical. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a reaction of blame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as a measure of spite and blame, about information instead of slowing down, assessing and investigating the form of what is here, as a mind consciousness, as values that become like an elephant-in-the-room that is an abstract about reality, and thus, a separation from  a compassion that is a starting point of what is best for all, realizing I am life and life in expression is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move , to direct myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as information that I have accepted and allowed to define me causing a separation from seeing, realizing and understanding the value being life, which is physical and always in all ways, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to consequence within and as blaming the consequence and the fault of consequence instead of slowing down and breathing, grounding myself here, being as a starting point in respect of the physical in form and function, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, so that the ending point is the same as the starting point, this being equality and oneness, as the principle of give as I would receive, to realize in small movements, as how things are built, the expression of life as creation information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand in every moment my acceptances and allowances in self interest, such as value judgements about information, be it personality, or abstracts as words about reality, as information touted and what I have accepted within where I am within a society that is in separation from being equal and one in respect of the physical world being the manifestation of life information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the story placed before me, as the information accepted and allowed, and to resist facing this information, that is often a - metaphysical- elephant-in-the-rrom entity, that has only the power I accept and allow it to have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my greatest strength is my ability to assess and understand as I am by nature that child that can learn to smell like a wolf, so great is the gift of life, able to assess and investigate form and function, which takes practice and time, hence in every moment, I make the decision  to in all ways, always, move from a starting point of what is best for all, as what takes that which is good and does no harm, to move a starting point of equality and oneness into an ending point, and within this to practice until the starting point of equality becomes the ending point here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that blame is  a form of protection and self defense, and therefor a reaction to consequences of a starting point in self interest, where the answer is within the formula, thus, to slow way down, assess and direct within and as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame is being lame, as in not taking the time to assess my own acceptances and allowances, and the information that lacks consideration of all things, thus, within and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess what is here, to see and realize with real eyes, what directs within grounding into a practical action that does no harm and gives what can remain constant and consistent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge what is here, within and as the information I accepted and allowed as the programming of my experience within the society in which I was born as the values believed to be more than other values, to within and as me, slow way down and realize the value being life, and to consider all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, for my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a self pity in relation to believing that no one understands me, as my value system, as a personality, and within this to see, realize and understand this measure of information and to within every moment remaining within breathing to slow down and ground myself here, becoming in thought word and deed that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that limitation is a threat, and to within this, slow way down, assess and ground myself here in the practical, to see, realize and understand a starting point of what is best for all, so that the ending point in every thought word and deed within and as who and what I am stands within the principle of what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become intimidated by information.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself becoming blame, I stop, and I breath, and I asses what I am spiting as information, and I ground myself within my breath, to assess, to understand, to then move into solution as what is best for all, as what considers all things, to realize a starting point within my actions as the words I speak to create an ending point of respect for the real creation as the physical world.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense as blame, I stop and I breath and I assess what information I am accepting and allowing within and without, and I assess and I check my physical body to see , realize and understand the richness of the life that is me, here, as all things are me in another life here.

When and as I find myself reacting, within and as my thighs and my chest area, as a constriction, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down, until I am gentle and calm, at ease, and stable, and I assess what designs are around me, and the practical nature of the physical, to see, realize and understand a compassion that takes that which is good and does no harm and makes clear the practical steps that lead to a solution.

When and as I find myself believing that the information around me, either in separation from reality, or the information of reality as the physical being too difficult to understand, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, and I realize, and I understand the practical as this is to consider all things as the function of the physical, to ground myself here, and move into solution as the simple movements here in the moment, as this is how life is built, from moment to moment, being present here, respecting the richness of life information as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to information, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I transform my within entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions, into what is grounded here, and in respect of the practice of physical living, to become the directive principle in every moment as every starting point to realize an ending point of what is best for all, in thought word and deed.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I catch what I have rejected and resisted, to realize my own generated limitations as beliefs, opinions and ideas, to assess and transform back into respecting the practice of physical living, giving as I would receive, to live in thought word and deed the richness of life, as the physical here.

When and as I find myself moving into anger, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down, and I realize the solution is to consider all things as the physical, to ground myself into the richness of life, as life being the real value, as the practice of respecting the physical.

When and as I find myself wanting to blame, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down and I see, realize and understand the habit of ignoring the emotional storm in fear of survival, as a behavior I have accepted and allowed, and I assess the information until I am stable, calm, steady and able to assess in clarity the measure within and without, to move into solutions that solve problems and ground presence into the richness of creation as the practice of respect for the physical, here.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity as a reaction for my own acceptances and allowances, and the shame of my self interest in protection and self defense in ignorance of the practice of respecting what is real as the physical, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that sadness is more of the same, as self pity, and self aggrandizement,  until I am stable within and as my breath, and I assess, and cross reference in relation to my physical body and the information as the measure of the practical physical world around me, and I take that which is good and does no harm, to become the living word of what is practical in step by step movement, to ensure that my presence is rich in awareness of all things, to live in thought, word and deed, what is best for all here.

Day 686 Am I really insignificant? I am here, I am physical. The value is being life.

If I expect others to infer any emotional poles behind my words, are I not expecting others to see the emotional pole within me as something as real as I believe it to be?? ( This is actually insane!)

And if I have to expose that emotional pole, and a solution is given to me, in practice, diminishing  that enlarged ‘ take’/ value/idea I accepted and allowed, would I react and not want to admit that I had created something out of nothing? Would that mean that I had to change? Would I find out that changing an imperfect practice would take longer that if I had learned something correctly in the first place, take time?  Would I realize that I had seeded what was me, and that what I accepted and allowed to be seeded as me would take time to correct and that I was so embarrassed that I would not want to admit this, and yet, this was the only way out, and the gift that was really cool because it meant that I was the means to master who and what I am here in this physical world? Yes.

For myself, what is this swirling mass of emotional values within and as me, that I have colored myself as? Where was that one small movement that was the impetus for this separating-from-who-and-what-I-really-am-emotional-metaphysical -storm?

What was the judgement that I accepted, as a movement within, that created this? What was the generating seed/feed mirrored in behaviors of resistance as a belief? What tread-mill have I stepped onto? Onto what have I allowed the focus of me to become? How have I turned my greatest strength into my greatest weakness?

Given the polarity of weakness and strength, it is a belief that I am not good enough, that there is something  wrong with myself. This is an abdication of what solves the problem, which is to see reality, as the physical and correct in synch with this reality, this practical reality. A mathematical reality revelatory in form and function, as creation would be.

What unsorted mistakes lead to a lack as a limited self definition leading to an ignorance of what was real, as the physical creation around me that is me , here?

As a child, this seeding started. An impossible situation, or appearing to be so, for one so small without any language development, sorting out the construction of language and the ideas generated therein by the surrounding adults which I by nature absorb and allow myself to get caught within to survive as I fear the force of punishment for not aligning to this mis-alignment to life as the physical. This is a motion in separation from considering the practical nature of life as a physical formation. Though I am the cause of accepting and allowing the measure of belief, as in-sighting a record of selective values, that then become the information that is me,  meaning it then being generated from me, I am the only one who can self forgive this and reform who and what I am. I am the one to ground myself back into what is real, as my relationship to the physical, to consider the physical as me, as life information, here. If not me then who? 

I am able to realize where I inflate values, within positive and negative poles of resistance and self aggrandizement, like an elephant in the room that has no real substance, recognizable in a lack of constancy in behavior. My own accepted construction changes myself in a moment, instead of myself using my ability to change, which is my ability to assess, to live equal and one with creation. Living equal and one with creation is realizing the value is life.

This is synching my greatest strength from ignorance to presence as life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am insignificant.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am insignificant and that this is fixed within who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become so self involved within a lack as a belief as an idea, as a measure that is a judgement of a good and bad made larger than the practical life around me as the physical,  within and as me that my greatest strength became my greatest weakness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create an inferiority to life as what I allowed to define who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide my separation from life, through projecting lack onto others, as people and systemic structures, and animals and nature, to justify my own lack that is a resistance to life, to being in common sense of reality, as life information as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a projection entity within and as me as myself being right, and to within this become stuck into reacting to what are reactions instead of grounding myself here into the practice of living and finding solutions in consideration of all things here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I was a worthless human being, based on experiences in childhood, where I believed there was no way out, and joined into the game in protection and defense to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within and as this, as this is a fear of becoming responsible for what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making mistakes in relation to this, to and towards others within my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am defined by the mistakes of my past, where in all practical common sense, the only solution is to change and reform, as myself as life, which is to take that which is good and does no harm, and to investigate, to do the math, within and as moving from problem to solution, here, in every moment, remaining grounded in breath here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought ‘ Where have I been”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I have wasted the life that is me , here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize  and understand that the only solution is to ground myself here, in consideration of all things, seeing realizing and understanding that what is real, is here, this physical world, and the starting point of who and what I am here.

When and as I find myself sinking into fear, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am steady, calm, steadfast, bringing myself here, into being present in the physical as my feat, as my hands, as my torso, here, as who and what I am.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand the techno-colored movement, as energy within and as my physical body, to see, realize and understand what I have accepted and allowed to define who and what I am in protection and self defense of my fear, to ground myself here, in the physical, to become in thought word and deed that which is best for all, as equality and oneness to and with life here.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand where I am existing as an inner voice of and as a belief that I am the worst person in the world, based on a past as a child, where I did not get through, or I started to answer in relation to same measure and actions of separation creating a personality in the adults around me, to which I responded, in a belief that this stopped punishment, thereby hating myself for being that which I probably wanted to sort out, and within this to remember that as a child, this would have been very difficult to do, just as my own children probably experienced as well, as I had accepted and allowed a limitation to define who and what I am as a belief in separation from being practical within and as that which does no harm and respects what is real, as the physical world around me, as this is life in creation, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to sink with and as me, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, to see, realize and understand the measure as belief, opinion and idea as an imperfect practice as an idea of lack, and I stop, and I breath, and I ground myself here, and I forgive myself for accepting a fear of survival as I am no longer a child, and I use the greatest gift of myself as life, an ability to absorb and investigate, assess and cross reference, this actual real physical world as life information, and I take the time to listen, to understand, within and without to practice being equal and one to who and what I am as life, to take that which is good and does no harm, to become in thought, word and deed myself as life, here.

When and as I find a weight within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I loosen up within and as my chest area, to forgive a fear of others seeing what I have accepted and allowed as a belief that I am insignificant and worthless, and as what I have defined myself as, to instead become self responsible as life here,  to ground myself in synch with the life that is me, as the physical world.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am stable, open, able to discern through a focused listening, to realize the parts and the whole, to move in perfect practice, realizing mistakes can change,  in equality and oneness in thought word and deed to life, as the physical, here.

Day 684 Continuation of the Caregiver Archetype. Day 2.

In relation to the caregiver archetype, I have had pressure on the back of my neck for some time. Also, there appears to be some pressure behind my eyes. When I would go and look at the pressure behind my eyes, I would experience thoughts about my sisters. It was that my sisters and I all look the same, especially around our eyes. 

I had also realized that this had to do with worry about others. And it is a character I have even discussed with one of my sisters. It is that ‘ my mother always must have something to worry about’  One day, within this I noticed a heaviness coming from the bottom of the eye down into the check, and this was sadness, much like the clown pictures where the eyes are painted to look sad. I define this ‘ presence’ as the weight of the world, as though it is all sad. This sadness is creating a definition about the world without having any real details. Behind sadness is a giving up about the world, where the self believes that no change can happen, and/or myself is good because myself tried, so it is not myself’s fault. This is turning a negative into a good, where I, as this self in this situation, define myself as good.  I become a belief that I was/am responsible. Yet this is a polarized and charged belief. It is not the practice of solution, it is the practice of justification.

It is like, or is, that I move as a body of knowledge and information as ideas, beliefs and opinions instead of being practical and looking at the details of the physical. To remember here, that if the adults in the world around us are moving as knowledge and information, and as absorbent beings, we take this in and practice it day in and day out, in our formative years, then we become this, and mis-take reality through a lack of practice in attention to the details of what is the means of this knowledge and information memory that develops by default of not practicing becoming aware of the physical world around us as who and what we really are as the starting point.

I look back in my immediate past and one question I had asked myself is how to develop community, as in how to develop relationships where I never had to lie, as not being self honest would bring burdens and cause the development of relationships that would not stand as a community.  I realized, or so I believed that I had little if no practice in building relationships that developed long term trust, where there was an ease and respect, with no sense of ever needing to lie. 

In a moment, as a movement, I remember one time physically leaning towards another person, like to force this kind of relationship. It was like a pull in a direction instead of an assessment in real time.  I remember thinking ‘ what was that” lol.

Since I have allowed myself to move as knowledge and information, the switch from this habit to real time awareness, takes time, as catching the accepted and allowed habits, decoding them, and being practical is a new practice for me, I must give myself empathy to review and investigate every move that I am from one moment to the next. This need not become a burden, because in the practice of and as this, the gift is in the doing,  to develop recognition of what I have accepted and allowed as a measure within myself and the practical steps as what it means to be present and live here, equal and one to life, as physical in formation.

If I go into an idea, with any charged value, I create an agenda, or expectation, and as a consequence am not here, present and attentive to reality, the physical.  I am racing within myself, as knowledge and information. 

I am competing. I am in survival mode. Within this, the inversion from moving as knowledge and information into being present as life will not happen. And I end up scaring myself, based on my expectations as to what the future may or may not bring or exist as. Within being this science of the mind only, being here is lost.  And, I lose all significance because my directives are insignificance, as false positives that are justifications based on expectations that are essentially ideas, and I become a general sense of sadness.  

Interesting at this point in writing, I remember my father reprimanding me about something, and telling me I am not smart enough. His voice is charged. It is as though he is disappointed that I was not responsible,  more in the order as, ‘ Why did you not solve the problem?’ or 

Why did you not figure it out?’ ( this an expression of himself which I took personally) as once he said to me that I was stronger than some other people in my life. Thus, I run at times as a belief that I must be stronger, that then layers with the Caregiver Archetype.  This “ stronger as belief character”  creates a friction and conflict within myself, where in a mathematical sense as the equation of the words, I am both ‘ not solving the problem’ and ‘ the stronger’.  

Since this information that is not necessarily bad, was absorbed in a charged moment, it is polarized and racing within and as me, as my information, experience.

It is to realize that slowing down and investigating movement in reality, which is part of the steps of learning anything as learning something means developing awareness of it, which is something that builds meaning that mis-takes are not-enough-information to build a solid abstract about something to the point where one can move with out bewilderment or confusion and integrate new qualities about something, even when it comes to encountering new unexpected relationships. Here I can slow down and take real care of what it means to grow into a tree, so-to-speak, and be empathetic with this process of journeying to life, as I would want from another.

Hence instead of defining myself as the measure I absorbed as ‘ why did I not figure this out’ and  the polarity of ‘ being stronger’ I relate being stronger to knowledge and information accumulation and then begin to define myself as stronger. When this does not work out, I generalize and decide I am not pretty enough. This mind consciousness, moves as a web of limited values. It has nothing to do with being life, being present, existing in equality and oneness to reality as the means of this limited expression of self as life, as energy,  that can only exist on a physical host. The physical is life information. Energy, as mind projections is a pollution on the physical. We need only look at this world to see the consequences of out actions that lack respect for the physical to see, realize and understand the destructive nature of inequality to nature/the physical.

I am going to write some self forgiveness on ‘ stronger’ and ‘ Why did you not figure this out?” and then write some self corrective statements in relation to the Caregiver Archetype. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a measure as a belief, as the words “ stronger” in relation to believing that i must be stronger, or that i am stronger based on something said to me in my past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to stress myself out within and as believing that I must be stronger in the future.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that “ I must figure something out’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a belief that I must be stronger because of a belief that things can be figured out, and that if I do not figure things out than I am weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am weak and within this to become bewildered within and as the conflict of being supposedly stronger and ‘ why did you not figure this out’ which I then defined myself as being weak because I did not figure something out and believing that I was supposed to be responsible which was to be stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a conflict within and as me, in and as ‘ supposed to be strong’ within and as the words from my childhood of ‘ you are stronger’ and ‘ why did I not figure this out’ where a conflict of bewilderment and confusion became what i defined myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the confusion of this mixed message, and ground myself in the practical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to be that ‘ stronger’ and within this to move into a caregiver archetype, where I believed that I had to figure things out and be the stronger I lead myself to believe based on what was the intel expressed to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it was my responsibility because I was ‘ stronger’.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when and as I moved as gathering information to become intellectual, to become the character of ‘ stronger’ to not see, realize and understand that when and as my information caused conflict under the guise of a good as a belief of being stronger lead to “ why did you not figure this out” where i defined myself as being weak, as the information that was me as being weak, as in not being enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame myself, not seeing realizing and understand the practical physical world around me, as I moved in self interest, without regard for life as who and what I am as life is physical in form.

When and as I sense a conflict coming up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess where I am within and as a belief that I must be stronger, and where I believe that I am to blame for not figuring something out, and I slow way down, and I assess the moment, to see, realize and understand the practical here, to become responsible for and as life, in considering life as the physical, to take that which is good and does no harm, in ways that share an understanding of the practical as I would want for myself as this is being self responsible as who and what I am here.

To be continued. Self corrective Statements in regard to the Caregiver Archetype. It is cool to realize the layers in relation to this as I write this out.

Thank you for reading!