The shadow of the mind Day 704

For some reason this morning a memory is coming up of an afternoon when my one son had returned home from school. I stood there listening to him when suddenly I said to him, ‘ your teacher is in you.’ I could see the color/nature/signature/presence/outline/measure/quality/persona of my son’s teacher in him, like a cloud, around him, as him. I knew his teacher I had spoken with her many times. This has to be second grade, as she was his second grade teacher. 

I also, realize this presence around me of writing in the morning. Because it is a family holiday, I have stopped my regular patterns, and for other reasons, hence, I am seeing my own ‘ clouds’ of habituated patterns stopping and the presence of them here.

Also, in my life, I have purposely changed up things I have done on a regular basis with the purpose of, initially, getting out of set ways of doing things. For example, for a while I had a small tv on my kitchen counter which I would use to watch the news while cooking dinner. I started to get caught up in watching a show that would come on, inevitably after the news, at the end of my nightly cooking and extend the time watching tv past the cooking. One day, I realized what I had done, and took the TV away. Maybe the solution was to turn the tv off after the news, yet, I had also been reading this periodical on politics etc. for about three years, and noticed that instead of being informed I was becoming righteous about what information I had accepted and allowed in the bias of the perspective of the periodical. Thus, I stopped reading that periodical and watching the news, and started to investigate other perspective. This was when I could the same articles posted on both sides, with a few words changed. How had I missed this?

In all, I find that changing what I have turned into a scheduled habit can show me where I have become stagnant, and where I am not aware of what I am doing.

Thus, this change in pattern of late, and this memory coming up, is a reminder of how absorbent I am as what I am as a human being.  It makes it more clear that I can really only be here, and that i must with every breath, bring myself here, to become a reflection, so to speak, of being here, and to realize that I can so easily become a colored bubble stagnant in belief, opinions and ideas. Reflecting what I have allowed, that becomes a persona, and reflecting the measure another person who becomes the same as what it is that I speak, can make communicating with another, and problem solving very difficult. And I can see where a perpetual broadcast system, known as our media, whose space is bought by a few, who have allowed us to believe that not only do we take out loans to build value as living, but also charge us with interest to utilize that loan, thereby siphoning all monetized labor ( my understanding and way of saying this at this point) into the hands of a few, who then broadcast a limited story ( the parts not all bad) again and again, in self interest,  to the point where the story ( measure ) is believed to be a truth, just as I did in getting caught up in a limited story that I began to be righteous about until I investigated more words produced by this same system only to find that the same forms were being processed with changing a few words, to keep a system of conflict in place as a distraction from realizing the Machiavellian means now a tech soap box called the media! Me Dia, my god, my structure of following a limited story that is all I can see and thus what must be real, and that I use to entertain me, like a business in a narrow focus, where i do not even want to know what it is that I do not know because it would mean that I have to step off of my hamster wheel, and I might hurt myself!   The idea of jumping off the running train of thought that I define myself as, means that I might bump my knee! And I am so busy running around in this persona within myself that I can no longer see what is real, as the physical right here, hidden by my own acceptances and allowances by that absorbent ability that can be used to sense a mode of operation and take that which is good and relate it to what I really am which is a physical absorbent state of being. Okay, that was a long sentence! lol

Interesting enough, what legend am I leaving behind for my children? What am I passing down to the next generation? I mean the bible says that the ‘ sins of the father’s stands for seven generations” That is a math, one that substantiates this sense that I have of breaking patterns and remembering a moment when I had a sense that my son’s teacher was ‘ in him’ as I could sense the color of her around him. I mean, how does an animal sense something out of place? How do they see what is not readily visible to our naked eyes? Is it not the same thing?

Can we not see that what we accept within can become like a blue print at the exclusion of what is real as the physical, AND that this can be used on the self interest of a few? And, that we are the same as those few if we do not realize this? Because in effect, we are doing the same thing?

This begs the question as to what you, yes you a parent or a person in this state of being, are leaving or imprinting to projecting onto others? Are you as a parent enough for any child, if you believe that you ‘ know’ what the real score is? You are not enough, not even I am enough, because I have not realized how all of this works, no one taught me. And who am I going to blame? Am i going to blame the dead of seven generations back? That would be like existing as Plato’s wall, taking to a bunch of shadows of belief on the wall of my mind, or like believing the emotional fire walls generated within me, that ‘ persona thing my sons was generating in second grade” as being more real that simply being here, physical, in this reality that held that projection. Take the physical away and the projection no longer exists. Yet is can resonantly exist and be passed down from generation to generation. Look around and see if this earth is living in a balanced and respectful manner towards efficient use of the physical. Obviously it is  not. 

What is the disease in our children, growing in numbers every day? Would we call them attention deficit dis-orders. Is the idea of a ghost in the machine really such a stretch of any imagination?  Are we bulling an incorrect use of the imagination onto reality, an imperfect practice? Look, we all realize we need to get back to nature, we all sense this so we know the answer. Yet there is a bully impulsing a false picture show that will continue if we accept and allow it. And it does not want to die! Just think of all the jobs that are based on supporting the lack, or the limitation of this projected picture show.  All these jobs that are really an administration of this false contract that races like a train and is so caught up in a narrow focus that is of shadows and painted by projected electrical and magnetic lights that what is real appears to not exist! There is a reason why within the word administrator there exists the sound admitted traitor! 

I also ask myself why I had not learned to ‘ read’ the ghost in the machine and define it, to take that which is good and does no harm. I mean if I can see it, and people in time have described such things as ‘ shadows on the wall’ then I cannot be alone in realizing this, everyone must have the means to do this, as this would be the means of life, to use imagination to test how things move, to asses and investigate before actually taking action and bringing something into creation, into physical form. And would this not make it obvious how much this could be used in self interest?

Is it not ironic how there is a fear of talking about ghosts in our cultures? And is it not ironic how we have even within this talked about how deceased friends, lover and family members have come to visit us? is it not obvious that that ghost in the machine is of one’s own making based on how the machine, as our physical absorbent ability works?  We are allowing a mumbo jumbo, paranormal, metaphysical existence generated from within ourselves to appear to be more real that what is real as the physical, and the signs of it are all around us; how this is used, and how we, each one, is serving this because in effect we fear to live, we fear to use this tool to create!

It really is time to stand up and speak of this point blank, to say this directly to one another, to tell stories of the outcomes of such shadow chasing, and to realize that none of us are enough to build a structural foundation in the children to come because we adults are the product of this same system. The children and ourselves ( with a lot of cross reference)  to must allow ourselves the means to realize the shadows passed down via imprint and sent as messages via a televised system, to enable each the means to be grounded and effective in seeing the ghosts and where they are at, and what is real, as the physical, at the same time. Just look at how a person can instantly memorize a sequence of moves to solve a rubric’s cube and then do the sequence blind folded! That is the means to the end, and a reflection of our capacity as life! 

Those who only see the limitation and lack, without realizing the potential in the machine of a human being, are so separated from potential that they cannot be trusted to guide anyone! In effect, it is not what we do it is who we are within what we do. The structures are not the problem, it is who we are within what we do. We cannot be afraid to point this out, to describe the means of lack and give direction in the necessity to always ground and reference physical reality.

An economic system that does not give each the means to take the necessary care of being physical, is a crime against life. For this reason, our economic system must change. And, parents must realize, that because of the consequence of this system, they are not enough for the development of their children, yet they are the one’s responsible for what character as development in processing what is within and what is without and what is here.

On another front, I have experienced grief. I realize that I was extremely vulnerable at that time. I did not realize how much I could become entrenched in the ‘ measures/ghosts’ of those around me, especially because I myself did not understand how this all works. I realize, with hind-sight that it took me the better part of five years to begin to see the difference between having lost everything and moving into a new form that in itself was another shadow on the wall system.  It is so easy to fall into something like this. The pressure from peers is very strong, especially within a system all around us that does not understand this. And yet, the principles behind this remain the same. And the means of sharing how this works and being careful in sorting this out, remain the same, as the structures that are here, that have proven efficacy within the test of time, are the means to the end. Here, what really matters is who we are within what we do. Many shadow chasers will not hear. And yet, in time, perhaps within a subsequent generation, this will begin to be realized, yet the acknowledgement of this must be continued to be expressed, again and again.  The shadows can run but they cannot hide because what is real is the physical. 

Day 684 Continuation of the Caregiver Archetype. Day 2.

In relation to the caregiver archetype, I have had pressure on the back of my neck for some time. Also, there appears to be some pressure behind my eyes. When I would go and look at the pressure behind my eyes, I would experience thoughts about my sisters. It was that my sisters and I all look the same, especially around our eyes. 

I had also realized that this had to do with worry about others. And it is a character I have even discussed with one of my sisters. It is that ‘ my mother always must have something to worry about’  One day, within this I noticed a heaviness coming from the bottom of the eye down into the check, and this was sadness, much like the clown pictures where the eyes are painted to look sad. I define this ‘ presence’ as the weight of the world, as though it is all sad. This sadness is creating a definition about the world without having any real details. Behind sadness is a giving up about the world, where the self believes that no change can happen, and/or myself is good because myself tried, so it is not myself’s fault. This is turning a negative into a good, where I, as this self in this situation, define myself as good.  I become a belief that I was/am responsible. Yet this is a polarized and charged belief. It is not the practice of solution, it is the practice of justification.

It is like, or is, that I move as a body of knowledge and information as ideas, beliefs and opinions instead of being practical and looking at the details of the physical. To remember here, that if the adults in the world around us are moving as knowledge and information, and as absorbent beings, we take this in and practice it day in and day out, in our formative years, then we become this, and mis-take reality through a lack of practice in attention to the details of what is the means of this knowledge and information memory that develops by default of not practicing becoming aware of the physical world around us as who and what we really are as the starting point.

I look back in my immediate past and one question I had asked myself is how to develop community, as in how to develop relationships where I never had to lie, as not being self honest would bring burdens and cause the development of relationships that would not stand as a community.  I realized, or so I believed that I had little if no practice in building relationships that developed long term trust, where there was an ease and respect, with no sense of ever needing to lie. 

In a moment, as a movement, I remember one time physically leaning towards another person, like to force this kind of relationship. It was like a pull in a direction instead of an assessment in real time.  I remember thinking ‘ what was that” lol.

Since I have allowed myself to move as knowledge and information, the switch from this habit to real time awareness, takes time, as catching the accepted and allowed habits, decoding them, and being practical is a new practice for me, I must give myself empathy to review and investigate every move that I am from one moment to the next. This need not become a burden, because in the practice of and as this, the gift is in the doing,  to develop recognition of what I have accepted and allowed as a measure within myself and the practical steps as what it means to be present and live here, equal and one to life, as physical in formation.

If I go into an idea, with any charged value, I create an agenda, or expectation, and as a consequence am not here, present and attentive to reality, the physical.  I am racing within myself, as knowledge and information. 

I am competing. I am in survival mode. Within this, the inversion from moving as knowledge and information into being present as life will not happen. And I end up scaring myself, based on my expectations as to what the future may or may not bring or exist as. Within being this science of the mind only, being here is lost.  And, I lose all significance because my directives are insignificance, as false positives that are justifications based on expectations that are essentially ideas, and I become a general sense of sadness.  

Interesting at this point in writing, I remember my father reprimanding me about something, and telling me I am not smart enough. His voice is charged. It is as though he is disappointed that I was not responsible,  more in the order as, ‘ Why did you not solve the problem?’ or 

Why did you not figure it out?’ ( this an expression of himself which I took personally) as once he said to me that I was stronger than some other people in my life. Thus, I run at times as a belief that I must be stronger, that then layers with the Caregiver Archetype.  This “ stronger as belief character”  creates a friction and conflict within myself, where in a mathematical sense as the equation of the words, I am both ‘ not solving the problem’ and ‘ the stronger’.  

Since this information that is not necessarily bad, was absorbed in a charged moment, it is polarized and racing within and as me, as my information, experience.

It is to realize that slowing down and investigating movement in reality, which is part of the steps of learning anything as learning something means developing awareness of it, which is something that builds meaning that mis-takes are not-enough-information to build a solid abstract about something to the point where one can move with out bewilderment or confusion and integrate new qualities about something, even when it comes to encountering new unexpected relationships. Here I can slow down and take real care of what it means to grow into a tree, so-to-speak, and be empathetic with this process of journeying to life, as I would want from another.

Hence instead of defining myself as the measure I absorbed as ‘ why did I not figure this out’ and  the polarity of ‘ being stronger’ I relate being stronger to knowledge and information accumulation and then begin to define myself as stronger. When this does not work out, I generalize and decide I am not pretty enough. This mind consciousness, moves as a web of limited values. It has nothing to do with being life, being present, existing in equality and oneness to reality as the means of this limited expression of self as life, as energy,  that can only exist on a physical host. The physical is life information. Energy, as mind projections is a pollution on the physical. We need only look at this world to see the consequences of out actions that lack respect for the physical to see, realize and understand the destructive nature of inequality to nature/the physical.

I am going to write some self forgiveness on ‘ stronger’ and ‘ Why did you not figure this out?” and then write some self corrective statements in relation to the Caregiver Archetype. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a measure as a belief, as the words “ stronger” in relation to believing that i must be stronger, or that i am stronger based on something said to me in my past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to stress myself out within and as believing that I must be stronger in the future.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that “ I must figure something out’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a belief that I must be stronger because of a belief that things can be figured out, and that if I do not figure things out than I am weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am weak and within this to become bewildered within and as the conflict of being supposedly stronger and ‘ why did you not figure this out’ which I then defined myself as being weak because I did not figure something out and believing that I was supposed to be responsible which was to be stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being stronger.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of being weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a conflict within and as me, in and as ‘ supposed to be strong’ within and as the words from my childhood of ‘ you are stronger’ and ‘ why did I not figure this out’ where a conflict of bewilderment and confusion became what i defined myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the confusion of this mixed message, and ground myself in the practical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to be that ‘ stronger’ and within this to move into a caregiver archetype, where I believed that I had to figure things out and be the stronger I lead myself to believe based on what was the intel expressed to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it was my responsibility because I was ‘ stronger’.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when and as I moved as gathering information to become intellectual, to become the character of ‘ stronger’ to not see, realize and understand that when and as my information caused conflict under the guise of a good as a belief of being stronger lead to “ why did you not figure this out” where i defined myself as being weak, as the information that was me as being weak, as in not being enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame myself, not seeing realizing and understand the practical physical world around me, as I moved in self interest, without regard for life as who and what I am as life is physical in form.

When and as I sense a conflict coming up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess where I am within and as a belief that I must be stronger, and where I believe that I am to blame for not figuring something out, and I slow way down, and I assess the moment, to see, realize and understand the practical here, to become responsible for and as life, in considering life as the physical, to take that which is good and does no harm, in ways that share an understanding of the practical as I would want for myself as this is being self responsible as who and what I am here.

To be continued. Self corrective Statements in regard to the Caregiver Archetype. It is cool to realize the layers in relation to this as I write this out.

Thank you for reading!

375 Paranoia of the unKNOWN Self Forgiveness Thought

So, I am constricting in my back, trying to balance what is going on , where I notice a lot of imagination as my characters coming up and taking my attention, which I allow, the paranormal behaviors that fit a grid of inequality, where it is believed that scarcity must exist as an order, and this order has created disorder and thus the form is unequal to life as it is destructive, thus inequality does not work.

If children can learn to speak another language at a very young age, even grow up in a household where they learn to speak two languages as young children, then they obviously can learn to speak many words in a short period of time. Then why do our school systems function in teaching so few words every year, every grade year? Would this not slow the child down and diminish an obviously innate capacity. And how does this relate to inequality, an order as inequality, that believes in scarcity, in purposeful development of lack, which in essence is suppression, confinement? This would mean that the ability of a person to express as life is not accepted and allowed and known how to direct within being its own absolute purpose as its capacity. This is like, being a fear of being directive, of living. Perhaps inherent in this is a fear that someone might gain, get ahead of another, and this scares the hell out of someone. There are times in our lives where we learn to walk and thus need the aid of others, and times when we help others to walk, it is not just one or the other, it is an ebb and flow between the two in expansion. Our present system tries to fix us in one or the other, which suits a system of forced order, as denying development. Such a system denies common sense, ignores what is here, based on fear, based on paranoia, based on a paranormal judgement, a disallowance of a norm, the norm being life, as the capacity of a human in full expression. In this, nature is symbiotic, many things working together in all space of this earth, it is not a monoculture, thus, men, can do many things , learn many things, being equal and one with the ground of earth. Inhibit the capacity of men, is to inhibit the communicative capacity of men with the rest of this physical existence, and then to build a structure that tries to order a system of lack, which would only create disorder, which is what we see on earth at present. 

The present structure is one of limitation instead of normal awareness the human is developmentally capable of as the child able to learn language with ease when it is given the opportunity. In a way, the development of the child within language is the equalizing of the child to the sound of men, a lack will disable the child to become equal to life, as the very substance of communication, equality, is denied.  It is no different than placing a cow in a confined cage. As I have said before , and we see on this earth, monocultures do not work. And yet, as we have developed this earth, at present we may have to continue some of the things we have allowed in order to reorder ourselves to become equal with this common ground of earth, and we can do this with as little abuse as possible. For instance, there is enough field to allow the cows out into pastures to graze. And, our children can be exposed to language and order, for which they crave. Children in a classroom will take order and direction, they crave it really. When a teacher leaves the room, a teacher they come to depend on, they will become unnerved, which is tragic, because these children should feel self empowered, comfortable in being here, self directive in a situation where they as humans have come together to absorb some understanding as a group. if their understanding was clear, then there would not be any dis-ease, what-so-ever. Such uncertainty means that the order of this world is not working, it is not creating a state of ease and awareness. This needs to be realized and changed, as these children really should feel welcomed and equal to this world they are in, enjoying the process of becoming aware of this world, knowing that they are here, nurtured and developing themselves in becoming equal in awareness with where they are as beings. This having been said, the only choice on earth is a directive within an absolute purpose of being aware of physical existence, of the very substance that forms this physical existence. In this, our present system denies the gift of life, the gift of learning to work with the very substance of what creates this world.

I take this into my present deconstruction of my own paranoia of the unknown. I have noticed, in my 51 years in earth, that often my minds I/eye will imagine a doom and gloom scenario about the future, or an event that I will face in the morrow, and then when I go to face the situation,  the outcome is not at all what i imagined in my mind. Then I go home, relieved and realizing I was an idiot, to have imagined the worst case scenario, and how I wasted my time dreaming such, when I could have, weeded the garden, for example, or sat down and taken care of some paper work, or  sat and listened to my son. And I realized the moment is gone, and I spent it worrying, being paranormal; so busy in fear, being infearior to here, in common sense.

Now, imagine that we have built a system equal to such behavior? And that, this system in reflection to such behavior is controlling us from without. Imagine a child coming to a parent who is in worry, and speaking something, that parent will more than likely, because they are in gloom and doom, react, as the fantastic gloom and doom horror, absent from the actual physical practical living action, is where the parent is instead of being present in the moment. This creates a present of mixed dimensions, the real one here, and the imagined one as one’s mind: and this in a system that is a consequence of such action. In essence we have created a paranormal society. In my worry, I am living a fear of a unknown, instead of using common sense, which means being equal to what is physically here, practically looking here at this earth, at this actual physical world. Now, imagine not even having the communication skills to be able to realize this? Imagine having been raised in an environment of paranormal activity, where the parents are always in fear, inferior to here economically, as they have become second to a outward manifestation of an inward state of being that in itself was in separation from practical physical reality? This becomes one big dimensional mess. And our present system cannot clear this up, the only way is to develop life, to be and become equal to this actual physical world, as what each human has the capacity to do because they are the very substance of life!

Thus, my paranoia of the unknown is myself fearing to become aware of here, to learn to walk here, to speak about here, to speak about the accepted and allowed paranoia. I cannot become intimate with here if I do not speak about what i have accepted and allowed as what is in my mind, as how i have separated myself from here, even as what i fear losing, as in judging myself as less than another, to look at this and realize what I am not understanding in common sense as this physical world. And, within this, to realize, that what is here at present is a consequence of eons of not having accepted and allowed life as the value, thus what is here is in depression, so to speak, and must be realigned to becoming equal and one to life. The paranormal must be dispersed and forgiven and life accepted. This is where ease with life exists.

So, I am going to start with self forgiveness on being worry and fear, allowing imagination of gloom and doom, and within this realizing that the present system is a consequence of generations of such behavior, and thus will need realignment and common sense in working with this system trying to order a separation from life not seeing itself, its own systemic limitation in trying to order and structure  existent limitations within its parts when the parts themselves are what makes the whole, thus the parts as the human within must be cared for and taught self direction as life, at ease with life, as the very substance of what each part is the composition of, thus able to learn and expand in awareness to become self directive as life, here, where then the whole will function as life because the parts of life are equal and one to life. This will end the present expression of scarcity as life, as what we have allowed. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear for the future.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a paranormal imagination of fear of loss, of worry, of gloom and doom, in separation from life, as such imagination is not myself equal and one to and as life in practical common sense of this actual physical world, and where in separation from that scenario of which I imagine in fear and try to control from afar, I physically have no ability to exist in common sense because I am not physically present within the situation, and to realize within this, that yes, some situations require preparation, meaning I cannot just walk into a dance performance, for example, and expect to be able to perform, thus it is to also realize in common sense that I must prepare myself of which if I use my common sense as myself within myself, I can see when I have prepared myself for that which I am responsible and when I have not.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that if I am unprepared, it is for me to perhaps realize how i spent my time, was I more existing in fear, or was I directing myself, walking myself into becoming aware of what i was doing?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand what I am in thought, word and deed with each and every breath I take to realize how I am directing myself in every moment, when I am allowing paranormal activity in and as my mind and when I am being practical as in walking the steps and practice necessary to do what i have taken on as a responsibility within my life, and within this to realize that it is often my own fear and imagination as mind that limits my actions here in the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to express myself within and as my secret mind, to reveal to myself my own judgements that are limited as in accepting limited values in how i look, what i say, etc. and to realize this is a paranormal state of being, which is a state of limited dimension, and this abusive and disrespectful of life, and as such I miss what is here in common sense, and when common sense is not the consequence of my life, I must stop and realize I have not lived as common sense, thus my existence has an outcome of no respect to and towards common sense because I ignored this! Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate my own self responsibility as life, and to become blame or spite, because this is simply more of the same, myself in separation from life,  ignoring common sense of what is here as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think in protection and defense, in worry and fear of loss, instead of being practical with what exists, here and becoming a practice of being equal and one to and as this actual physical existence in common sense in respect of life, for which the reward of that life will respect me back.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the only way for myself to become aware is to pay my respects to life, as this life around me is me, as all is of the same substance in and as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a fear of the unknown, to make this an imagination so huge, I separate myself from myself as life, and limit myself within being able to communicate, as all that exists as my mind within this inferior state is restriction and thus this is what I will become because this is what I have practiced, and thus I cannot blame another for what I have accepted and allowed, as I am life, and thus as life, I direct myself, and since this life as me is of same substance as all that is here, there really is no one that can do this for me, thus it is only myself that can direct myself as life, and within this to realize that since this inner abdication of life has existed to the point where it is manifested without, there are many suffering to such a degree that those of us that have the chance to read articles on the internet, we are the ones who must stand and be the change to heaven on earth through equality and oneness, which means supporting all life absolutely, which means allowing life to be life, which means a systemic form of equal support, as Equal Money,  so that those in extreme lack can begin to stand as themselves, self directive as life, so that each part stand as life and thus creating a whole that is of life absolutely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the unknown, and within this to see, realize and understand that I am the one allowing and accepting the existence of an unknown, and that it is myself as this unknown that creates a paranormal existence of ambiguous understanding and thus respect for the life that I am, the gift given to be and express here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that allowing myself to exist within paranoia, I am accepting and allowing paranormal activity in and as my mind, and thus limiting my awareness of the normal actual, real physical world, where I must realize that the eye of the needle, meaning equality and oneness with and as life, is through common sense of this substantive world as earth, as the physical; as the present limited and separate behaviors and projections of the mind ( and even the projections two feet above the ground of this earth, that  are of lesser dimension and that no longer exist ) are what has been made bigger than life within each human as fear and anxiety in fear of loss scenarios as imagination,  now being maintained by an outward system mirroring this inner state, thus the only solution is to start within each of us to walk self forgiveness within our separations  and to come back down to earth, to walk in practical common sense of life , here, and from here to begin to place into existence policies which support life absolutely, to be and become a directive principle of equality and oneness as what is best for all as our absolute purpose being to respect what we are as life.

Quantum Systemization

Death Research

The Quantum Mechanics Paranormal Events

The Metaphysics of Imagination

Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race

Day 374 The paranoia of the unKNOWN cont.

My fear of the unknown is based on my fear of survival.  In existing as fear of survival I accept a limited view of life, as I ignore physical reality as life, as the substance of life here. Obviously, the trees and the grass and the air are not owned by anyone, they are here and we cannot remember why they are here. Is it our fear of survival that separates us from realizing here, looking at what is actually here and the very form and function of here! We have accepted a system that grabs in self interest instead of gives that which it is, life. We ignore what is right here in front of us, giving to us, this earth, life. It is only man that has created a belief that something can be owned, nature has no sign, no signature that says one man owns what is here. One only own/grabs because of fear, of ignorance, the opposite of nature, which gives. What would such separation bring? create?

So, within this natural giving world as this earth as this physical world, why would there exist such things as a floating head with a rainbow ring around it and this white light stream behind it going off into some distance with a velvet black behind it? Why is this there and why is communication with this absent? Why would a teenager make this up? And what would be the point? And why is the behavior of what is seen so weird, meaning of such reaction and anger? This in itself is an indication that something is really really out of place, because what is the point of this? How in any way does this develop a human into the true potential of a man? In all common sense there is no way, that this event, person, entity, demon, vision, whatever someone wants to call it, is a reasonable thing to exist. It does not matter what label a religion would give to this, there is simply no justification for it. And the latest question I ask is, why the hell is this off this ground, not equal to this physical ground of earth, this earth where there are people who can learn to play musical instruments very well, do many things, become developed human beings? We do not have to research what our children are capable of, we see children on TV who sing beautifully, make scientific discoveries, which means that our children are capable of being trained, given proper education and sustaining nourishment. Why have an entity of lesser dimension exist in a behavior of anger, clinging to this physical world acting out what appears at superficial value to be disruptive, and why fear this? Why do we have the same behaviors now with men and woman on this earth. Has our consumerist pickings brought a voice of the people as life?

So, is that floating angry head a misaligned part and substance of life? And should we realize that this is us, that this is life that has not been corrected and  made equal to life? That we are diminishing the actual physical world on levels we are not even aware of, in our abuse and disrespect of life, so prevalent on this earth, with the gross existential inequality? Have we created a polarity of heaven and earth, where life is not being lived, and the dispersement of this means that we are destroying ourselves on levels we had better realize or all will be lost? Is it time to bring heaven to earth, as what Christ was trying to say, which means cleaning up all our behaviors, within and without. This started with all of us as how we allow ourselves to be in every part of our beingness. Consciousness is the play-out of behaviors of separation from life. Our leaders the extreme of this behavior.  Is consciousness the mirror of accepted limited design, of human hubris forgetting life/earth/reality, with behaviors of poverty/sexual abuse/genocide/disease to match? An absence of awareness, ignorance that is the behavior of gain in self interest, a system of inequality that has allowed money to determine life on a planet that gives life equally. Our demons are simply a byproduct of our separation, and now they are within us, as our accepted and allowed behaviors of greed within allowing and continuing this system of survival.  Unless we stop and realize that life is the value. Life would be a lightness of being, and who here, that might read this can say they are a lightness, as in weight, of being? No one.

Is what we label as supernatural, super natural? Meaning what is suggests, something imposed onto what is natural, what is real? Reactive behaviors, such as floating heads with angry faces, are indications that something is in separation from the natural world, as the natural world gives, is life.  Some illusion of lesser dimension exists, and thus is in separation from what is real, as this actual physical, natural world. Are our judgements of others just as much a separation from life as any “ entity”? Obviously, we are separate from earth, or we would not be destroying earth and believing that some are less than others. This is the super- natural, it is not natural. Nature is not utopia, nature is simply life. Man is so much in separation that a singular exists as being ideology only.

On a practical level, our so called leaders, are pushing everything away and pulling the rug from under our feet. At least they are using both their hands, they have had some more education that the rest of us, they at least know how to use two hands, the rest of us just stand there like zombies sucking our thumbs. And I sucked my thumb for a long time. But, still, our leaders are divided from life. They believe that the masses need to be manipulated. And this is supernatural, it is not nature, as it does not develop democracy, it presents it with a forked tongue, but it has not created democracy, as the voice of the people, is not the voice of life, which is what the true voice of people would be. No piece of paper can justify this crime, and thus all pieces of paper are rendered obsolete. We live in a projection of hope, with a lascivious tongue of greed behind the voice of promise, this is a paranoise of separation and it is time to stop. It is not acceptable.

We have been told not to judge.

I have allowed myself to be overwhelmed with my survival at the expense of life, an inner allowance of not looking at what has been allowed on this earth, that must stop as it is not developing and allowing the true potential of earth, of life, to be in expression here. In not being here, practically working with this physical world, and what is best for this world, this physical reality, I am existing as the paranoia, the paranoise creating a divide of known and unknown, consuming my senses, my flesh, and building a distance from life. Here I then believe that there exists an unknown. and the known is here, right in front of all of us. Look at the picture of the word- unKNOWN. We have allowed a system that does not support life. We have allowed a system of ownership and division in separation from equality with life, with being respectful of life here. Ghosts, and poverty and pollution and isolated estates of cared for earth, sexual abuse, and animal and forest destruction are, in all common sense, a disease, and it is time to stop this separation from a known ease. Our system of division has created the distraction of judgement which is a perpetual fear of loss, blinding us from our directive capacity as life in common sense of this physical world and thus creating the existence of an unknown. We are our own ghosts, this ghost is our separation from life, what we resist is what we deny, what we lose intimacy with and if we remain in this ignorance we create our own unknowns, where the real “ unknown “ is the nothing from which we came, that is really the gift of life. Like being in a process of birth with every breath, how awesome would that be?

In practical reality, this means protesting does nothing, it only allows the bully to realize the disciples of ignorance are right where they need to be, busy with blame and fear of loss instead of practically looking in common sense at the existent structures, standing up and organizing this world into a place where all life is cared for, as being the value, as the means of expression of ourselves as life here. Our system of values are in separation,  limited. Our acceptance of this system cannot work because its values are limited. We have not accepted life. The consequence of this rejection of life, are much of what has been created on this earth, thus we have a lot to clean up, a lot to align back on earth, to align with this actual physical world, as this is what is real. 

That angry man was looking down at me, I was not looking down on him. And I noticed him when I was in a state of quiet, calm. When these white light things would happen, I was calm, which means I was probably not in my head, I was silent. Which, just after my husband had died, I was numb, I mean, I had lost everything, so I was numb, there was nothing there, as mind chatting away, because i was numb, it was all meaningless, all that occupied me as my life with my husband, there in Europe, and I came back to the states to an, by comparison, garish smily, happy American standard personification, and it was LOUD to me, really loud after the more reserved Swiss mode of operation. So, here I am numb, “ bugged out” as some might say, and there in front of me was more of this subtle neon like bubble around people, like a lesser dimension of “ stuff” and all I could think was: what in the fucking name of god is that! What is going on, what is that”  

Do we ever have a lot to get done. All of this is a reflection of out rejection of life. it is what we fear facing because we have accepted a lesser value system, one that has formed a pyramidal system of inequality on this earth,  this that we have built without consumes us physically, because of our accepted and allowed within, which must be be realigned back to and as a common sense and respect for this earth. It is the only way, and the sooner we realize this the better.  Self forgiveness, refocus yourself here, equal and one to the gift of life, this actual physical work.

It is time to stand and develop equality, to bring ourselves back to earth, to life, to what is real. We might want to deny this earth, because it is a mess, but given that we have, or had floating heads in this existence, means that something was seriously out of whack. There is no more (-as as) heaven ( this would be the illusion), as it should be. Life would be symbiotic, communicative, in expression with and as itself, equal and one. 

The solution is to realize the limited dimensions we exist as, where there are many dimensions here, simply divided and segregated into parts surrounded by borders. Which means that not all within each faction is all bad or all good, it means it is divided from accepting all life, from being symbiotic with life as earth, here, in equality. Our monetary system must be changed to one of equality, where all have what allows the human body, this that is like a plant, what it needs to sustain itself, as every plant is needed, all the substance of life is needed to be in communication , for the expression of life to exist, thus this idea that the undeveloped on this earth just need to disappear is the real illusion, it is as what it does, it is a destruction of life. The solution is to bring back to earth, all that has been rejected and to align this equal and one to and as life. What fun really, if we get over this being something overwhelming! 

The solution to doing this, to begin this, is to forgive ourselves of our separation, to stop pushing life away, and live, through self forgiveness for which the desteni I process is available, and to support an Equal Money System to support the life that is here with what life needs to be and become a behavior of giving, absolutely.

The reward of stopping our paranoia, our alternate reality composed of our separation, our rejection of life, this which we have rejected that persists as the unacceptable behaviors of a consequence of unsustained life as what we read about and see on television and locally, even within the ubiquitous drug culture, is to create a heaven on earth, meaning to bring heaven to earth. Is there any greater reward? And are there really any arguments against this? No, there are not. It is an impossibility.

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Day 198 The word of the male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become submissive within existing within a relationship, as a belief, with a male vs. a female, where it is not polite to contradict the male, as what I have been taught is to idolize-make more than- the male, not seeing realizing and understanding that the male is a creation of the substance of life, where what is the value is the life as the substance, thus what is best for life as this physical world as it is all life, is what is best and not what serves this male as an idea as being more than or having a final word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the words from a male are the final word, as it is not that the male speaks these words, as a male can speak what is best for all, it is the word as realizing that all of this physical world is the substance of life, and, as this, it is to be a living word as a word that supports and realizes that all life is one and equal as it is the form of the physical that is the vehicle of the expression of life, as this is the gift; here the only support given is to recognize this physical world as an expression of life and support this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become irritated with having to listen to a male, which is myself separating from myself within hearing what is best for all as I react within resonant past accepted and allowed behaviors of belief and thus allow uncertainty and fear within myself in fear of loss, in fear of aggressive reactive behaviors from the male, as the ego of the male, as mind, as energy, will choose to not die, meaning will resist change, yet if I breath and remain here in common sense, replies that consider what is best for all within this present system of manifest inequality and separation from the value being life as the current profit based system of capitalism that is monopoly where a few of the most aggressive end up owning everything and believing their creation - as their “grab” shows a win and power when in fact it is ignorance of the value of life being that which is the substance of this creation on earth, something that cannot be owned, could this be owned than it would be understood; and understanding means having insight into creating heaven on earth instead of hell on earth, as heaven on earth is realizing the value is life and that creation as this physical world is the expression of this value being life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run away from hearing the same thing said in response to what I have to say, where I feel like I am not being heard, not realizing that what is wanting to be heard is a self validation as an end all be all, as the mind, as ego, exists within a limited ability towards insight when only parts are seen and there is no physical common sense of the multi-dimensions within the totality of existence, which is why so much abusive behavior exists on earth, behavior that is destructive and ignorant of how this physical world functions, as the denial of life is not allowing the form of the physical to express itself as life as the very form it takes.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe a sense of dread that comes up in relation to speaking up towards what a male says, in fear of having to hear the same thing again.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine being bullied and cast away should I not accept the word of the male as “the word” where in this moment I breath and I stand and I listen to what is being said and I speak up in common sense of what is real as the value being life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I allow myself to exist within “dread” i become stagnant and limited, where I perpetuate what is not existing within oneness and equality as the living word as what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a memory of my past to be what is real, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is a “ghost” of the past, as a superstition that I can either accept as real or stand up within and forgive myself to as what was taught, as what was shown, as what was expected as a child with no ability to express and no direction given within developing an awareness of self direction in and as the value being life in common sense with the equality and oneness of what I am as the substance of creation that is this physical world- a gift of life to b-earth oneself as life, to see, realize and understand that I am here, an adult, and no memoryneed define me as what I am, as it exists only as a superstition resonant within and as the environment within which I lived as a child within a system unsupportive of life as the human idolizing an object having forgotten the substance of all that exists as what is the value, which is life, where this condition of the human as collectively created/allowed a system of inequality, allowing a monopoly where the tool to buy idols is money, as the value as life is not realized, as life is subject to beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, of gain and loss, which needs to stop and a system of Equal Money that is supportive of all life, realizing life is the value will stop the superstitions of the mind and the rampant disregard manifesting horrific abuse of life on this planet.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that physically my body constricts when I do not remain within and as breath and speak up in support of life as what is best for all, as though the very NON speaking up in support of life, as the instrument of life, as my human physical body, not being used as life and instead being destroyed through the abuse of following superstition in and as the mind as belief, opinion and idea , to relationships that are inconsiderate of the whole, where I at one time tried to imagine a peaceful place in and as my mind and all that happened was that I got the most awful headaches as it seemed to be so forced, I just stopped one day, as it seemed like a fantasy mind fuck which is exactly what it was, as this should not be something that causes headaches.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that when I fear speaking up I am not in support of myself, which is to say I am not in support of life, where my physical human body actually starts to feel tight and heavy in my lower back, and within this there is a voice that just came up where I say, “ I have no where to go” which is just the reverberation in and as voices in my head as my past, the voice of a ghost of my past as a memory as a product of the current system of limited insight and stagnation as what this current system is as the lack of development of myself as life as a human physical instrument of life, a voice of value judgement representing a separation from life, from equality and oneness in and as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe such a voice, as what I accepted and allowed, in abdication of life, as a character of futility, denying myself of breath and the being of myself as an instrument of life existing here as the living word, this being of myself one and equal with all existent on earth, here.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that no matter what is said around me, within or without, that is not one and equal to what is best for all, is in fact the word of superstition, as a ghost of life, a word of no substance, thus is able to be brought back to myself as life in common sense of life through no longer fearing the voices of the past, as the ghosts of the mind as belief, opinion and idea in relation to a propagated self interest in fear of loss of myself as an object developed to survive having forgotten myself as the substance of life on a world where the physical is support in allowing me to realize that life is the value and thus there need be no fear of loss.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that actually being here, in and as breath, in simplicity with what is physically here is actually a relief, at first seemingly boring, as leaving the energetic addictions in and as the mind appear to resist their death, what in fact happens is the calm and the quiet, and the breath are simple and gentle, where things in the physical can be walked without complaint and actually enjoyed, and finding solutions as understanding how things work in fact is fun, like learning to actually move a violin string and the bow on the string.
I commit myself to realizing that I have existed within constriction for so long that this will take some practice, some deconstructing to reconstruct as myself in self honesty and self responsibility in and as life, here.
I commit myself to breathing, to being aware of my breath in every moment , here.

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