Patience is more natural than anger Day 711

Anger is always self anger.

I realize more and more how much anger is really self anger. it is not having enough information. It is reacting as an event, as seeing the problem and reacting, taking the long road into solution. How many times have each of us regretted reacting in anger in past moments? I know I have many.

There have been times in my life where I was calm, and despite a short tempered reaction coming towards me, or myself reacting as a short temper, if I look, I can see that I was/am reacting within fear. Fear is having value judgements, fearing to lose my life, or an idea thereof. I hide in anger, resisting and pushing away what is in other moments more natural and less a cause of friction. These are more often than not, those moments where the emotional fire subsides, moves through its course and settles in moving forward without increasing accusation and a residual ill will.

Thus, anger has this quality, or I might say, dimension to it, that is rejection and resistance, a ‘ not wanting to know’ because resolution would mean facing an already accepted idea of impossibility blending into self pity, one a consequence of the other, building a voice of futility. Yet, that there is movement in limitation, as energy, as this, it means that the strings pulled as this, can change and self realize this movement and learn to recognize this and realize just how limiting such a construction is within. It also means that nothing can touch me as life unless I accept and allow it. It means that patience is more natural than anger. 

Day 686 Revisiting Blame. Realizing the practice of self forgiveness and self correction.

When I go into anger I go into fear. My reflection is then based on limitation, as I am fearing survival more than being present here, equal and one to the math of existence, a physical existence.

I mean, why does television effective? Why is the measure of it so ubiquitous? Why have a measure constantly broadcast, and all the advertising images, incessantly? Why is a form, as a picture, covering the physical environment in which we life? Why is a child born without religion, nationality, class, gender awareness, skin color awareness? The simplicity of this math, is evident all around us. What blinds us, is evident all around us. What separates us from practical movement in our lives, is all around us. The simplicity of this is astounding, the complexity the consequence of the superimposition of a measure/story that is  extremely limited.

Can we not understand that a fiat currency is our labor? Can we not see that the value from the labor is siphoned off and flowing into a central entity that projects the limitations in contradiction of life: an example the supposed ‘ superman’ story? All the while the fiat currency flows the value being life as in doing, that is done with a collective effort as how things are built, from freely given resources into a centralized regime that touts what suppresses the life within. Are we not all this in measure when we ignore the world around is as we are caught in an imaginary elephant-in-the-room that is the valley of shadows as our minds of thoughts?  So, that centralized regime, feeds of the whole, and touts a god, as a superman- the opposite of life. It is laughable when the reality of the indoctrination is the opposite of practical living. And meanwhile, it has been said again and again and again, that the veil is thin. And it has been said again and again and again that one must stop the ‘ spin ‘ of the memory/mind. And it has been said again and again and again, that we are in a cave watching shadows on a wall.  This slight of hand, this legerdemain is right in front of us, and what is real is under that illusion, that valley of smoke and mirrors .  What is real is right under that constant chatter, it is the physical. 

Why are children placed in a box for 13 years? Why is an absorbent beingness placed in a confined place to create an abstract image of information? What is that information? Is that information the real story? Would this not serve to suppress through a lie-by-omission story? Would this be called a limitation?  And if one practices through repetition being up there in the imagination for 13 years, not to mention the television as entertainment and baby sitting for parents that are a product of the same system, place presence into a very limited structure as that measure/information contained in that centralized regime information measure that serves to move that value as the labor of many, being what builds and creates as how things are done on this earth, into the hands of a few to decide what we eat, what we think, what we use, to control the frustrations from suppressing the full potential of what and who we are a physical beings?

Yet, it is done because we accept it, we allow it. We in this acceptance abdicated ourselves as life. When in reality, no one, and no thing can really decide who and what you are. That which follows is that which can assess and investigate and understand and then make choices that consider all things. Remember, if it is only working for a few, then it is not working. We have allowed a quantum construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct us, and the consequence is a frustrated life that is not in full expression. A lack of full expression is a suppression, a stress, because it is only through one’s real expression, as full employment of the inherent capacity of what one is as a physical being, does one find ease. The first step is to admit, that one has abdicated one’s self as life. And then, to begin to decode the limitation, forgive it, and ground one’s self back into considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This is to ensure that such a choice never happens again, because we learn through mis-takes. 

Hence, when I blame in any way, I perpetuate the limitation. Every movement within and as me, and every movement around me, if not related to a respect for life as a starting point, as an action of considering the physical, is an act of separation from life. I will in effect, never fit through the eye of the needle, that object that is used to join things together, to create. 

I am in effect, not slowing down when I move into blame. Blame is protection and self defense, in self interest, as that measure of separation of and as mind consciousness that lacks a focus on reality as the physical. To move as a directive principle in respect of the physical, I can address the limitations, being in expression as who and what I am, within realizing the means of a mind consciousness. The information that is a measure unequal to practical reality, is composed of judgement about things as measures of information. It is judgements about self, about others in relation to self, about information. So much of our in-formation an abstract about reality, as the physical. It is like a spinning thing, this entity of separation as imagination that is the mind that so many have said to stop. If one slows down, one can hear the back chat of this mind. 

Thus, why fear this paranormal entity that has no real connection to life, as the physical? The values touted as it, are short lived, meaning they have no longevity, which is why the media is a constant all around us.

Thus, when and as I move into blame, I must slow down, and realize that I have not listened to the information that is here enough to remain stable and consistent within and as directing in respect of what is real, which is the physical. My reaction is a fear of loss, based on survival. The solution is to realize that I need to hear that ‘ song/story’ again, to understand that math, the measure, the form, and then to assess and investigate, until I can un-tie the knot, the mis-take and ground the form/information back into what is a practical action with a stable relationship done in referencing the physical in all ways, always. In this, my starting point wills the ending point.

Last night I was playing with this, and I revisited a moment where I went into competition. I noticed that my thighs became inflamed . It is like needles of crystals climbing into the flesh, It hurts. I have to slow way down and realize the measure I am accepting and forgive it, transform it into what no longer moves, as being information, as belief, opinion of idea, as polarized value judgments, to realize what gives as I would receive .  I am already what it is that is life. That which follows this in-formation of value judgements that is the means of limitation, is that which can slow down and respect the physical. The physical being what is real.

I must realize my expectations, in self interest, in fear of survival as this is what I have accepted and allowed as a practice. All those ideas and desires, like wanting to have children, or wanting to move up in a career. Like wanting to be in a relationship, when the real relationship is here, as being physical, where there are many expressions, not only the limited touted as a value again and again. This the greed to create a life, within a narrow focus. Where one blames everything around one as not being effective. This act in itself a separation from moving into a solution that leaves no one behind.  This act usurious, rent seeking, believing that one knows. When the only solution is to be here, focused in every breath, in every move, realizing the nature of separation as the quantum measure, and the real significance, as the physical world. Within this can I ground myself here, remembering myself to the physical, where I could use the gift of myself , like that feral child, and sense that rabbit 20 meters away? Can I become the master of myself, which is to equalize to the physical world, as this is life information? If not me then who?

Remember the projections of Humpty Dumpty, are sourced from the physical. The stings of the limited information are visible, I need only slow down and stop competing. After all, what is real about who and what I am is physical. 

I can crystalize the water that is me into a fixed measure, or I can  master the flow of myself, as life, and remain constant and consistent with the physical as this is what is real. In effect, knowing myself as what I have accepted and allowed, and realizing where and when I constrict allowing myself to be defined by value judgements in survival, or I can realize the richness of myself as life, here. Within the nature of the richness of myself as life, is an ability to assess, to investigate, to slow down and hear the grass growing, to see the flicker of value judgements as personalities that can only scream the information accepted and allowed that has been allowed to define into a persona that is a separation from equality and oneness to and as life here, as the physical. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a reaction of blame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as a measure of spite and blame, about information instead of slowing down, assessing and investigating the form of what is here, as a mind consciousness, as values that become like an elephant-in-the-room that is an abstract about reality, and thus, a separation from  a compassion that is a starting point of what is best for all, realizing I am life and life in expression is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move , to direct myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as information that I have accepted and allowed to define me causing a separation from seeing, realizing and understanding the value being life, which is physical and always in all ways, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to consequence within and as blaming the consequence and the fault of consequence instead of slowing down and breathing, grounding myself here, being as a starting point in respect of the physical in form and function, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, so that the ending point is the same as the starting point, this being equality and oneness, as the principle of give as I would receive, to realize in small movements, as how things are built, the expression of life as creation information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand in every moment my acceptances and allowances in self interest, such as value judgements about information, be it personality, or abstracts as words about reality, as information touted and what I have accepted within where I am within a society that is in separation from being equal and one in respect of the physical world being the manifestation of life information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the story placed before me, as the information accepted and allowed, and to resist facing this information, that is often a - metaphysical- elephant-in-the-rrom entity, that has only the power I accept and allow it to have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my greatest strength is my ability to assess and understand as I am by nature that child that can learn to smell like a wolf, so great is the gift of life, able to assess and investigate form and function, which takes practice and time, hence in every moment, I make the decision  to in all ways, always, move from a starting point of what is best for all, as what takes that which is good and does no harm, to move a starting point of equality and oneness into an ending point, and within this to practice until the starting point of equality becomes the ending point here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that blame is  a form of protection and self defense, and therefor a reaction to consequences of a starting point in self interest, where the answer is within the formula, thus, to slow way down, assess and direct within and as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame is being lame, as in not taking the time to assess my own acceptances and allowances, and the information that lacks consideration of all things, thus, within and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess what is here, to see and realize with real eyes, what directs within grounding into a practical action that does no harm and gives what can remain constant and consistent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge what is here, within and as the information I accepted and allowed as the programming of my experience within the society in which I was born as the values believed to be more than other values, to within and as me, slow way down and realize the value being life, and to consider all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, for my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a self pity in relation to believing that no one understands me, as my value system, as a personality, and within this to see, realize and understand this measure of information and to within every moment remaining within breathing to slow down and ground myself here, becoming in thought word and deed that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that limitation is a threat, and to within this, slow way down, assess and ground myself here in the practical, to see, realize and understand a starting point of what is best for all, so that the ending point in every thought word and deed within and as who and what I am stands within the principle of what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become intimidated by information.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself becoming blame, I stop, and I breath, and I asses what I am spiting as information, and I ground myself within my breath, to assess, to understand, to then move into solution as what is best for all, as what considers all things, to realize a starting point within my actions as the words I speak to create an ending point of respect for the real creation as the physical world.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense as blame, I stop and I breath and I assess what information I am accepting and allowing within and without, and I assess and I check my physical body to see , realize and understand the richness of the life that is me, here, as all things are me in another life here.

When and as I find myself reacting, within and as my thighs and my chest area, as a constriction, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down, until I am gentle and calm, at ease, and stable, and I assess what designs are around me, and the practical nature of the physical, to see, realize and understand a compassion that takes that which is good and does no harm and makes clear the practical steps that lead to a solution.

When and as I find myself believing that the information around me, either in separation from reality, or the information of reality as the physical being too difficult to understand, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, and I realize, and I understand the practical as this is to consider all things as the function of the physical, to ground myself here, and move into solution as the simple movements here in the moment, as this is how life is built, from moment to moment, being present here, respecting the richness of life information as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to information, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I transform my within entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions, into what is grounded here, and in respect of the practice of physical living, to become the directive principle in every moment as every starting point to realize an ending point of what is best for all, in thought word and deed.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I catch what I have rejected and resisted, to realize my own generated limitations as beliefs, opinions and ideas, to assess and transform back into respecting the practice of physical living, giving as I would receive, to live in thought word and deed the richness of life, as the physical here.

When and as I find myself moving into anger, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down, and I realize the solution is to consider all things as the physical, to ground myself into the richness of life, as life being the real value, as the practice of respecting the physical.

When and as I find myself wanting to blame, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down and I see, realize and understand the habit of ignoring the emotional storm in fear of survival, as a behavior I have accepted and allowed, and I assess the information until I am stable, calm, steady and able to assess in clarity the measure within and without, to move into solutions that solve problems and ground presence into the richness of creation as the practice of respect for the physical, here.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity as a reaction for my own acceptances and allowances, and the shame of my self interest in protection and self defense in ignorance of the practice of respecting what is real as the physical, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that sadness is more of the same, as self pity, and self aggrandizement,  until I am stable within and as my breath, and I assess, and cross reference in relation to my physical body and the information as the measure of the practical physical world around me, and I take that which is good and does no harm, to become the living word of what is practical in step by step movement, to ensure that my presence is rich in awareness of all things, to live in thought, word and deed, what is best for all here.

Day 676 Becoming aware of emotional/feeling bodies on my physical body. Who am I within Presence?

Lately, I have noticed while interacting with others, that a moment can happen that appears like a swoon, as how I want to describe it. It happened specifically while sitting with another person, where I noticed their body swung in my direction and they laughed. It appeared like a movement coming towards me, one that I could respond to or not.

I also noticed this week, that while I was talking to a group, that within scanning the group, I had a couple of imagination/voices/ideas come up in relation to some of the people in the group.

What corrective statements I have written out within walking the destini i process helped me to ground myself back into what I was doing.

These imagination/voices/projections were not myself being present and focused on the context of what I was doing. These inner projections/voices/idea ‘ entities’ had nothing to do with myself and were not the ground on which I stood in that moment.

I could begin to see this effect on my body, as it was as though that ‘ swoon’ was around me as me, I reminded myself where I was, and who I was and what I was doing in that moment.

I realize I was in the process of balancing out the mind, physical and self, to ground myself in being present. 

I is interesting as what helps me within this, is my musical training. Why? Within playing in a group, one must learn to extend one’s presence to the other sounds as all the instruments in the group. They are a moving measure, intertwined and formed. This helps myself, as what I am doing, remain balanced within the whole. Within this, I am myself, and I am all the other parts too. If I separate from this awareness, I begin to lose my sense of place. I cannot blame anything around me, as it is my self responsibility to remain grounded in the moment. Nothing can distract me unless I accept and allow it. And, since I can sense the parts and the whole, and move within this, checking this and checking that within and without, my capacity has no bounds unless I limited this presence. I determine my focus, my presence.  

This presence, is so fluid, that it can sense when I am not focused, it can sense what I am being, what I am allowing within myself. It can sense what moves through the mind, as the thoughts as the back chats and the imaginations and the projections, just as I did when speaking to a group. None of this comes from without, it comes from within. Yet, as in sitting with another in close proximity, I can notice a change in the person, the parts of which is the details I may not pick up, and yet I can understand that this is the same as myself, a momentary projection directing the experience. Even this need not define who and what I am.

Within this, I, before walking the process of self forgiveness, writing and self correction as the very measure of me as thoughts, words and deeds,  very often complained about the spatial awareness of people around me.  As an adult, I often wondered as to why the adults around me and my friends were losing their spatial awareness. This manifested in my friends and strangers not being able to do the simplest of tasks that required spatial ability. It was one of the questions that was always there. 

In an interview on Eqafe,  emotional and feeling body effects are likened to a train running on tracks on the earth’s surface. When we are near the train moving on tracks, we can feel the vibrations of the train through the earth’s surface.  Those thoughts/imagination/projections as ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are polarized into emotions and feelings as fearing some form can define me, and/or running to some form as an idea can define/promise, are not myself being present here. In effect, they are what separates myself from expressing myself in normal ways here.  It really begins to be like walking through the valley of shadows, and the ‘ shadows ‘ can be sensed just as the reverberations of the train moving along the tracks through the earth.

Such ephemeral shadows, can be a gift. These ephemeral presences that rush and dissipate as they have no real presence, can be grounded back into what is normal, as being present here, within the means to self direct as that which senses this, as that which senses the physical world around me! 

Thus, I can, in every moment, ground myself in what is normal, in the practice of being present here, no longer allowing judgments about a good or a bad to define who and what I am, as the practice of being myself here is expressing consideration for all things within what I would want for myself . This is respecting all things as the physical world, being equal and one with and as it. to direct my actions in ways that do no harm. 

Emotional and Feeling Energy is created by your Mind Conscious System.  Are you running towards empty as memorized mis-takes on reality, as self judgements, or are you here, present, living, breathing, calm?  

Day 387 The Ponzi Scheme of Inequality

So, I am angry, this play-out in my mind wanting revenge, which will do nothing, the solution, to prevent such is to realize that emotions are memories of past events tied to the moment, bad habits of self pity and belief in one thing being less than another, instead of seeing the life that is here moving and being, where it is the expression of life that is the value, and anything that  is not directive within realizing the physical here in common sense, to understand the physical world, to direct this world as the movements that are here into what enables expression that is considerate of all life, of self equal and one here to and as the physical being the way and the means of expression, is the action of preventing lack of awareness, and thus lack of self directive equal and one movement with this gift of life, of expression, as what is best for all, as this is what life would. Thus, those that have a greater exposure to that which is directive, that which allows awareness of this actual physical world, in thought, word and deed, that is not an admonishment as an action of spite and blame, as what is put in as this is what comes out, have an output that is directive, aware, capable, responsible to being equal and one in understanding how the physical world functions. 

The elite, as the corporations and our governments need to understand that this is the only way out, that control is only found in developing self control, self responsibility of each part. Here is an order of the world that allows a world that functions. Actions that move towards reacting to behaviors of lack, and then placing limitations as a belief that this is controlling such behaviors of lack does not understand that the one thing necessary to end ignorance, as this is what this is, is to remove what prevents total development of the human. This means that trying to control an undeveloped human is futile, as this system of inequality leads to greater disparity with life, as the lower levels grow in the life that they are being is of suppression and the inability to order the pent up non-directed life will explode, as the frustration grows, where the numbers are too great to control. Hiding from this will not work, life is too clever, it will find a way, just as water finds its way into every crevice. That water can be pure, or it can be polluted and thus destructive instead of nourishing. The human must be allowed to develop into its full capacity to become like clean pure water, and then this world will function. The inequality, this pyramid scheme, this ponzi scheme, must end, must stop. It does not work, is not working, and cannot work. Corporations can try and  order everything to ensure that profit, but it is based on a law of inequality, and this will not work, as suppression is denial, is limitation, just as the idea that one thing is more than another is a limitation. The only solution is to prevent behaviors of lack to be what is here on earth. All life must be allowed to develop to its full potential, as this would order this world into life, and life would what is best for all. Its so simple.

An act of trying to eliminate competition is to deny self self’s expression of life. I mean to think that eliminating all competition by offering foods that do not sustain life, and having one product on the market that is cheaply made to squeeze one bit of profit out for a few, and only allowing a natural resource - one that we do not even understand, affects the earth symbiotically as the oils under the skin of the soils that sustain us - forced into imitations of nature and claimed through patents to supposedly provide all our needs as the petrol-chemical industry,   an illusion taught,  is all based on a “ mad” desire that there must be a god, that there is a “ thing” that is a more than outside of us. When there is no “ god,” there is the physical- here. A god is a belief in a “ more than” which is simply not wanting to be self responsible which is using one’s common sense of which our physical bodies are the perfect instrument. The expression of life, this is the gift, and within this, each part working in full capacity, self directed, as itself as life, is being life, and this allowing and accepting and being of self as life, nurturing this, being this, allowing this, is the answer. It is to order a system that gives absolutely, that ensures that every human understands this physical world and how it functions absolutely, that every person can speak in clarity, that every person, every animal, every plant is healthy, every inch of this earth is in full function able to direct itself in awareness.  What is owned is an awareness of this actual physical world and how this actual real physical world functions. The one way out is the thing most feared, and that fear is only illusion composed of ideas that are limited and thus when scrutinized found to be ambiguous.

Every prisoner is the fault of all of us, it is the fault of that prisoner, it is the fault of suppressing life. The only solution is to prevent  lack of self responsibility. A monetary system of lack, where some have and others do not, is a system of destruction, it cannot work. 

Especially now, that so much is automated that there is not enough work. This would mean that the human who has been trained to work in factories that no longer exist ( which in itself was a suppression of life) have no where to put themselves within what they have learned to be and to do, and thus to blame these individuals who have no money to go back to school and retrain themselves for jobs that are not available is to deny this nonfunctioning system and all because a few at the top don’t want to give up the illusion that having more and excessive physical comforts is somehow the end of the world, when it is not.  This is absolute denial of common sense and it shows that the elite are as programmed as the factory worker programs that are no longer needed in America - for example.  Within this, if the elite think that they are “ gods” and have ordered this world, clean up your mess, the program changed because the profit margins were not enough, so the programs left behind as the worker are not to be cast aside, I mean, be responsible if you want to play god, or get out of the kitchen!  Creating games of destruction, as war, is not life, it is not a solution as it is destroying all playing fields as this earth. It is useless , wasteful and toxic, and disrespectful of life. I mean admit that a mistake was made, come down off your high horse, and stop suppressing life, because this in essence is what you are doing and it does not work, will not work. Realize that if it is not working for every single thing on this planet, it does not work. Face it, give it up and stop. Admit that a system of inequality does not work, and never will work. The belief in a polarity of more than and less than is a separation from life. There is only life in expression.

The solution to this crumbling Ponzi Scheme of inequality is a Basic Income Guarantee, which is standing and realizing that life is the value, and that our present system is not working. 

https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation

Day 359 The lesser self: thoughts as beliefs.

One of the things i noticed when I realize I projected a lesser self to fit in because i feared being myself was a thought that “ I don” know where to go” and then I allowed this to become huge and thereby making the thought as a belief as a problem another means of not facing here.

Within this, there are tools: a principle of what is best for all, common sense, self forgiveness of the limitations accepted as belief opinion and idea and the correction of this into what would be best for all that is here on earth, to investigate and use what supports all life, as being that which is good.

THis is another thought dimension of what lead to a lesser self that I accepted and allowed because I feared being self honest, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being myself here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i do not know where to go, to have the thought that I do no know where to go within moving myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious within the idea that i do not know where to go here in and as this being myself not using my common sense of what works and what does not work in relation to actually physically moving myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not listen to myself here, to not see, realize and understand through self forgiveness and self corrective application within the principle of what is best for all what i reject within and as allowing myself to become a judgement of one thing being more than another and thus allowing myself to believe that something can be lost and as such rejecting the life that is here, that is the substance of what is here as a gift of life, thus there is nothing here that is less than and so to be feared, what is here that is abusive is a consequence of and from a starting point of judgement as one thing being more than another, thus the abuse on earth, and the abuse I have allowed within limiting myself as life, is a separation from life, an ignorance of life, where I have hidden from myself as the disease of reaction to life within judgement within one thing being more than another separating from a directive principle as myself as life and as such allowing myself to lose an ease with life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what I project as guide is what I reject and seek which consumes me, which is my own accepted and allowed separation that then consumes my attention as I seek this that i have separated within myself believing this to be what i lack, and what i am as how I label myself is the limitation that I stubbornly refuse to let go, or align within and as life here, as I believed a lesser self would enable survival, as hiding from myself meant I did not have to face what I feared which was myself and what I had accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how in taking the low road or the high road I was in fact diminishing myself as life here believing there was such a choice where the only road was that which included all life, which is a principle as that which is best for all, as this includes all life and thus does not diminish life in any way, for which my human physical body is a means to become one and equal within and as walking the only road to life, as life, being one and equal here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that such a task is impossible that I cannot become one and equal with and as life here, as I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be limited, as though being equal and considerate of what is here would mean the loss of myself here, when this is just the opposite of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how the consumerist platform feeds my lesser self, my diminished self, my “ I don’t want to face myself as life here “ self” as this means taking the steps necessary to understand life here in the physical, to learn to direct myself equal and one with and as my physical body and this physical existence, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe what is sold by consumerism as this is a directive within a lesser means of expression, limited within dimension and awareness of physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to chase an idea of a more than believing that there is no hope for mankind as man ignores the natural world in placing profit before life, which is a total disrespect for life, a total disregard for life, a total lack in sensibility of the physical which means a total separation from the very substance in and as what we are, what supports us which means I have not learned to use and be what i am as life as the starting substance that is the very building expression of what i am here, which is to say, if I am not equal and one within being aware of this how can I understand life, understand the physical, thus my lack of understanding is equal to my separation from life here, is equal to the lessening of myself as life as what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there have been times in myself when I changed in an instant from reaction as anger to suddenly realizing that such anger was pointless as it served no purpose, and within this I became calm and much more directive thus emotional reactions based on ideas, on morality, are a delusion as this is believing one thing to be more than another, an idea made into a label, an idol, a false “ god” as what is here, as the physical and how the physical world works is only that which is real, and thus what is here right in front of me as the physical is what can only be dealt with as myself being here, considering what supports here as the physical absolutely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe myself to be a victim, as this is a fear that something can be lost, and if I look I remain, here, and thus the only choice is to direct myself within and as what is best for all here.

Day 297 Character of Disgust Fear Dimension

Character of Disgust Fear Dimension
I was looking at a memory from my past, myself as a child. My parents are talking to me, expecting and answer, a reaction. When that reaction comes, they become calm, as though something was validated within them. In this memory what stands out is that they, my parents became calm. I look at what I had done, and I realize it was the same as them, my parents. I reacted in anger and crying. This was enough, I had become what they were, so I was inferior to them, as I was a child, and thus innocent ( in no sense of separation into and as mind in agreement with them as limited programmed machine), so, this innocent child was as “bad” as them now, and since the child is “closer’ to “here” lacking judgement, the child carries the greater blame, and thus the parents are superior.
So, I had this “thought” within looking back at this memory. And I thought, wow, this is really messed up, really twisted. Unfortunately, this is the logic of the mind, this is the logic of of this system on earth. If something can be taken through the bully of forcing acceptance and allowance that it becomes the fault of the person accepting and allowing, which it is, but also it is to realize that what is presented as the only means of survival creates a “no way out” scenario. The way that money is presently used, which is the way the sustaining resources of this earth are moved, then it is the very system, collectively accepted that is the cause, the individual as anecdotes of the collective, the data, are the source of what is here, dividing this onto one or the other cannot be done, one is the manifestation of the other. The collective is the individual, the individual is the collective, thus the only way to be responsible as life, is to become one and equal, to realize that the very physical structure of life support must be what supports all life, absolutely, and that anything else is a crime, as the abuse of this present system.
If our minds physicals in tandem with out minds take a mirror image construct of what is here, and values of more than and less than heighten and enlighten limited aspects of what is here, thus placing other aspects of what is here in shadows, this is warping reality, distorting this, and our instruments as our physical bodies “reading” here, equal with here, then in conflict and war, which is in essence taking within ignoring a complete picture of here. This is like not using the total structure, and imposing a limited structure, and the utilization of that limited structure, both in development and use, is pulling what is real and supportive of that structure apart. This means the real instrument of life, as this physical world is not understood, and since this is what is here, and what is supporting all of us, it is common sense to work with what is here, in respect, as what is here is the very life that supports us.
Children respond to direction, and they become silent within an adult self validating. They become quiet in the second scenario, and “wait it out” as though they know better than to react, as this would prolong return to playing with their friends.

Some are already playing the game, and often we label them as precocious , but often those precocious ones somehow stop developing when they get into their twenties. I realize this and would talk about this with my father, but it was always within blame, within cultural blame as well, which is still messed up. But, outside of this, is to see a construct, a pattern, and the reason for such to exist in totality is the real question to be asked. It really is that too many limitations have been accepted and made believed as all of life, and so, because it is limited and unequal to and as life, movement stops, cannot go any further. This actually happens to all of us, with the rest such action is more drawn out over time, the illusion, we accept and call a different name, but it is the same.
Within this memory, I realize I react with anger, and then cry, and then I hide in shame. I am ashamed because I gave in because I did not know how to explain myself, as I was a child, and the ending of the action of the adults was a discovery made, a way to use in the future to end what I did not know how to stop, and thus the trap is laid and I accept it, not realizing that i am on my way into and as a limited existence. I have accepted the distortion of reality. In my twenties, the fear will come, and I will be unable to move, which is exactly what happened in college. And it is happening to my one son. He called this semester, and said he had so much fear. I realized I was watching myself.
I realize that in conversing with people, using words becomes one big mess, so much has to be defined, and often there is no patience for this. So often I just walk away, sorting it all out seems impossible. I end up becoming silent and just removing myself in disgust, usually towards the other, and sometimes in sheer frustration because of a lack of willingness to clear things up.
Even when I am willing to give in and discuss, I get angry that the other becomes impatient because they seek a quick fix within this confusion and also do not want to deal with this, or fear something being exposed and called by name, not realizing that nothing is hidden. The reaction to this is anger, which is fear, and it is really saying that the illusion is here, and you (meaning the opposition) is not playing the game - your “bad,” which in and as itself is denial of consequence. Because, it is this that is the cause of dis-ease on earth.
So, I have to allow myself to no longer become “disgust” within working with words, as in having discussions, I cannot allow myself to become confused with the refractions ofemotional polarities, fibonacci spirals/vortex as an alternate reality, a superstition on reality composed of memories wanting self validation to continue, attached to words, and to see that the “stream” of energy can be “de”-fined, meaning “fined” as in found out, as in not fearing that I will be “fined/penalized’ should I call it out, should I find out the name of Rumplestilzskin, after all, Mr. Rumpy will throw a tantrum and fall in his campfire and burn up, and like Gollum, he might start looking like a living being having removed his “ring of energetic blingy fire”, his layer of separation.There really is no other choice here. lol

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a silent disgust within and as speaking, in and as using words, where i believe that the words spoken become one big mess that is unable to be sorted out.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the same as I was in my past as a child, falling into the same reactive behaviors of protection and defense, learned as a response within a moment, as being a child not having the education within word usage to describe what i see, which is in the past, an emotional reaction/fear from the past, and not what i am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my disgust is really my own shame for accepting and allowing limited, secondary constructs that lack substance, and thus are non supportive of myself as life, to be what i have used to avoid facing here, this becoming a habit, and thus a signature of myself moving in separation from looking at the detail of how here, as life expresses itself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand, that the persona of anger within and as me, is myself not looking at what is here, is myself not looking at what I have accepted and allowed, as a self definition, as myself defining my reality, myself not slowing myself down to mirror within and as my words, what is here in detail, where I carry disgust with myself which is being ashamed of what i have accepted and allowed being projected as separate from me, here, thus I allow the burden of my own making to direct me here, my own “ring of fire” layered around me as my thoughts, emotions and feelings, creating this heavy feeling within, worded as a belief that “it is impossible” to cover my own ignorance of how here, as life, a gift, is right in front of my eyes, wanting to be what it is by nature, to flow and express, if only I would slow down, breath and bring myself here, to be patient within the storm of energetic confusion of no real substance manifest as emotion and brin this back to what is best for all, to prevent dis-ease.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that fear is separation from common sense of myself as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that shame is really a chosen unwillingness of self as life to move in common sense of here, which means that moving one and equal here, exists, exits the separation from life.
I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to go into silent hiding from here.
I commit myself to slow myself down and to realize words are to describe what is here, that it is myself as my human physical body that can see, realize and understand here, in and as breath and slowing myself down to no longer follow what is of no real substance as what energetic emotional and feeing reactions as a collection of thoughts that are of judgements of more than and less than based on limited values taught as only what is real, where in all common sense , what is here is what is real, and what supports life.
I commit myself to slowing myself down and to breath, and to realize anger reactions as myself hiding my fear of my own disgust/judgement as my shame of ignoring here, started in childhood within not having the development to explain myself in and as words, or even if I did, a projected belief was held by adults, as the reverse of life, that children are to be seen but not heard.

Day 242 A reaction of irritation

I experienced reactive behavior today towards the presentation of something.
I become frustrated and irritated, not as reactive as I have been in the past within such circumstances, but still, it was there, - an angry irritation.
I realize that my irritation is one and the same as the reaction, emotion made bigger than what is actually here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become irritated, into and as a state of ire, which is myself becoming fear and anger, as reaction within and as myself not being understood, where this emotion has no solution, and all that I can do is walk into understanding the separation from what is real here, as emotions based on judgements of what is more and what is less, specifically within judgements in presentation, not seeing realizing and understanding that stopping and looking to what is here, as the whole of what is here, is not a customary practice as the human has existed within the mind as consciousness, as energy, and thus within and as breath I stop and look at the details of what is here as the physical through this mirage of emotion that appears seemingly impossible, a habit of separation from what is real as the physical, to realize the depths of such behaviors and begin to correct them within and without.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my irritation is myself within becoming an energetic reaction, in self interest, based on an idea, and a moral code, as the habit of consciousness.

When and as I find myself becoming irritated, I stop and I slow myself way down, in and as breath, as I realize within becoming emotional I will have no effect as I become a judge when conversation or words spoken do not meet my expectations as this is a desire to win, reflecting a feeling, as a fear, of loss.

When and as I find myself becoming irritated I stop and I breath, and I forgive my emotions and feelings of self interest, and I investigate what physically exits and practically walk what is best for all, to give as I would like to receive, to support life, here, as this is the value.

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

Free Eqafe Interviews

Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

Day 236 Imagination Dimension/ Victim Character

Imagination Dimension / Victim Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a scenario play out in my mind, as a memory, based on a past event to determine what i am here, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am allowing this past memory as judgement to define myself personally as the personification of being a victim as what I am here, instead of stopping , breathing, and realizing how I was seeing myself as less than and reacting within anger towards another, in self interested protection and defense in fear of loss of status and friendship, as I went into a sequence of behaviors as energy blaming and spiting another, creating friction and conflict for myself and the other, in not seeing how I existed as mind scanning my environment in terms of survival and gain.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe at the time, within one specific memory play out, that I was not allowed access to a group, believing myself to be less than based on face values of physical maturity and monetary display, taking it personally while the friendship supposedly lost was simply my friend maturing physically faster than myself and seeking like developing girls to face a change taking place, where I judged myself as less than within this and thus turning myself into a victim.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created all these thoughts around this as judgement, manipulating myself from a negative less than reaction into apositive more than belief, utilizing the morality of social class that I had been taught within my family, culture, society, instead of looking at what physical changes were taking place.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that were I in my friends shoes , I probably - wether right or wrong- have done the same thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that all judgement as a thought is myself showing myself where I have separated from actually looking at this physical world and understanding how the physical world functions, and within this separating myself into some fuzzy logic as belief, opinion and idea, following cultural and class ideologies or non substantiating and directing movement as what is best for all, equalizing life as being the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anger, as reaction, within protecting myself, in fear of having loss some status, when nothing had been lost in reality, as I continued to exist and found other activities and interactions with others, this being myself here, interacting as life, here, so the idea of loss was indeed an illusion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this past event to play out in my mind, and create a behavior where I scan my environment in anticipation of being measured as less than as I place some values above others and fear being measured as less than, which is, as I have seen, an ignorance of the reactions of others, themselves trying to understand this physical world and simply following limited values that are what is taught as a means of survival within a mind consciousness system of separation into and as energy as values of more than and less than, creating inequality within being one and equal to what is physically real, here.

I commit myself to, when and as I become the same behaviors coming up within and as myself, as being less than and then placating myself through making judgements that lead to myself as a “more than” to stop and to breath and to bring myself back into and as the physical, to understand what is here as the physical, and direct in common sense as to what is best for all, to be responsible for the behaviors within and without that are in separation from equality and oneness with and as life, here.

I commit myself to , when and as I find myself, having a memory flash by, in and as my mind, to stop and to breath, and to ground myself here, in and as breath, and to self forgive, through writing, any and all energetic movement within and as myself, realizing that such movement is a separation into a more than and less than mind consciousness belief, opinion and idea, in fear of survival, as my self existing in separation from what is directive and supportive of life in the realization that all life is equal.

I commit myself to when and as I also relive as this memory, a feeling of quilt that I am allowing myself to judge myself as less than based on my own demise, which in and of itself is not a solution but simply another end game of emotion I accept and allow unless I stop, and breath and realize such behavior is not within the principle of what is best for all, as the value being life.

I commit myself to realizing that each and every time I judge another, based on a morality sustaining survival, I am in separation from common sense of what is best for all, disrespecting myself as life, equal and one with what is here, so I stop and I breath and I direct within equalizing an understanding within communication to and towards what is best for all

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

Free Eqafe Interviews

Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life