Day 291 Fear of speaking Behavioral dimension

Fear of speaking Physical dimension
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to lose my breath, when and as I speak with another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an erratic breath when speaking.
i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I begin to speak, if I have become “breathless” I am in separation from being at ease, with and as myself and am missing breaths, and thus allowing and accepting myself to become a physical behavior of uncertainty and anxiety, “skipping a beat”, no longer remaining calm and gently here, equal and one with what is here, in common sense of here, able to look at the details of what is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become overwhelmed with what is here, as the words I and/or another speaks, where all I can do it slow myself down and listen and speak with ease, to get what I want to say across, as this behavior of “gasping” for air, as in not being at ease with and as breath here, is an indication of being absent in awareness of here, and thus inferior to here in common sense of the physical world, this which is real, as the gift of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the past, projecting this past onto a future, in and as a belief, that I will not be understood.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what I have to say will not be heard, not seeing realizing and understanding that often others with whom I talk, are missing breaths/have shallow breaths, of which I was made aware of years ago, as I knew a woman who taught people to slow down and breath, as this was a method she taught and the premise was that most dis-ease is caused by a lack of proper calm breathing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there have been times where i have spoken with ease and in a gentle calm, and that at these times there was no added stress within communication, thus such a state of calm within and as speaking exists and thus such a “state’ can then be maintained and regulated, in self awareness, which means that each of us can be aware of what we are doing with every breath, here, and that any moment of “excitement” while speaking can be realized simply by paying attention to one’s breath, this being the gift of the physical to regulate ourselves as life, here, where it is not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that determine ease, but the actual physical behaviors of our human physical bodies.

I commit myself to becoming aware of my breath with every step I take, to see, realize and understand what I am accepting and allowing with every step I take and every word I speak, to realize that in paying attention to my human physical body, i can determine where and when I go into anxiety and stress and thus, separate from here, from common sense of what is physically here, as it is here, as this physical world that determines myself as life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when as and I begin to lose my breath, to separate into and as an unsteady breath, I stop and before I speak, I bring myself back into and as a steady breath, even using the “four count breath” before speaking, to become a behavior of ease, equal and one , in common sense of here, before i speak, seeing realizing and understanding that making sense of what is here, without stress and anxiety can only be done with ease in common sense of here.
I commit myself to becoming aware of when and as I read with anxiety and dis-ease, to breath and slow myself down and follow each word, whether spoken or written, by and as my self or another, to manage myself as life, respecting this gift in and as life here in common sense of what is best for all, to give as I would like to receive, as receiving response from others, done in calm, with patience is how I would like to be spoken to.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that sometimes one must speak up to stop another from being a bully with words, as ideas, opinions and beliefs, yet even this can be brought back to speaking within and as a state of ease, equalizing self to a calm even breath, which should be the steps within a sequence as the outcome, within and without, as this is the process of working to and towards equality and oneness, with and as this actual physical world.

Day 190 A System of Fuzzy Logic

What happens when I allow myself to serve the needs of another as a learned behavior, where I allow myself to become a relationship to another as ensuring their supposed comfort, as in allowing my own common sense to become secondary, or associate myself relative to that other person, meaning I am worth less, as the state of the other is the value instead of the value being here, one and equal to all that is here as life?
What barriers to I build in relation to this? What common sense do I withhold within myself in awareness of what is real here, to serve this? Is it just that common sense does not fit into expectations within an accepted morality? Is it that common sense denies platforms of validating experiences? And would I not be placing myself into a need to validate myself, where I feel that this is improper and then silently bask in sorrow as I have gone into a polarity of more than and less than within social constructs of behavior?
In many ways this focus on the state of the other is a desire for control within survival, as this is all that was perceived by myself to work with as how to exist within this survival based system of inequality, and also to use knowledge and information to “even the scales” as in taking a stand of lack and believing myself to be more in holding the sorrow to elevate the other, which is admitting to and accepting existential fear and instead of facing the fear trying to placate this fear, like running away from the fear, like resisting common sense.
So, it is like fearing being common sense. Is common sense what is taught to us? No. Common sense would mean learning about what is actually here. This is fear of being self as life, here. it is fear of communicating common sense. And this must stop with myself , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I accept and allow myself to fear common sense in and as life , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to serve the personification of another in fear of judgement and isolation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the reactions of another to the point where I have even lied to not face the reactions of another for fear of punishment should I be self honest, which ends up being more detrimental to myself and others within my environment and thus is not worth it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared performing in common sense where I actually remember holding myself back because I believed that should I really go for it, it would be too much and too exposing and thus I had a voice in and as my mind tell me - one time when I performed- that I should not do this as I would be attacked - which I have written about before - and i see, realize and understand that this ended up creating a performance of constriction and self insecurity, as in not using common sense there was no real substance with which to express.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense as though something will be lost, when the opposite is what is real as there is no choice but to exist within common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this feeling of sorrow to pour down my back physically within myself as thought that something may be lost should i exist within common sense, a fuzzy logic masking a fear of loss as an idea, belief, or opinion.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become like a paper dress up doll, where I copy and paste the behaviors in and as the role of the woman, taking on the sorrow, through accepting a less than stand of myself in and as admitting to existential sorrow through believing I need to support the other within the other remaining within and as a state of ease, thus existing as a polarity of more than and less than, creating a lack of common sense of what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in not standing fast within and as common sense, I create the very insecurity felt within and as myself here, and the insecurity within another, the very thing wanting to be avoided, being what manifests.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a separation from common sense, is what role play, as female and male, creates, thus that which is run to is that which creates the insecurity, as though the belief in the role as support is actually what creates the problem of separation and lack of communication.

I commit myself to breathing, to realizing what is the trigger into and as this association in focus to the emotions and feelings of another, which is going into control, and going into a believed self preservation instead of remaining here in common sense in and as life.
I commit myself to not see, realize and understand that self honesty can only exist within and as common sense of what is actually physically here, thus when and as I feel myself going into a sorrow, as a less than, as a sense of duty to ensure a perceived state of ease in another, I am in separation from common sense, and am allowing and accepting a belief that another must be made to remain happy, which admits to a state of “unhappy” as the potential, where this actually creates a relationship in separation from common sense, here and is not supportive of what is actually here.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that the only real support and the only real communication available is with what is actually physically here, as the alternative in and as wanting to control the state of another is in separation from here, and a practice that continues a non-substantive energetic based existence.
I commit myself to remaining within and as common sense of what is here, breathing, and no longer allowing myself to fear the judgements of others, as I am sure they will come in and as reaction to common sense,.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing, and understanding the common sense of oneness in equality through stopping and breathing when and as I notice a judgement from within or from without, directly or indirectly, as such is a fear of loss, illusory as nothing can be lost as life, where a judgement is a fear of loss, and or protection for a few, both an ignorance of the totality of what is here.
I commit myself to remaining here in common sense and to no longer fear the verbal backlash of the mind, as it is only the voice of experience based on a past within what was learned and passed down within a system of fuzzy logic and separation from life.

Day 186 A desire to comfort.

Day 186
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that I will not be able to make another comfortable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i can make another comfortable within themselves as who they are.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that I can be is comfortable with and as myself, and this is only possible if I am one and equal with and as the physical, with what is actually here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my desire for creating/sustaining/ maintaining comfort for another is to ensure that no emotional dramas come to pass, so that I am not faced with facing an emotional drama, so my desire to control is myselffearing facing what is here and standing up, which is based on a memory from my childhood, where as a child I had not the tools and understanding necessary, as I was not taught this, and even if I had, chances are my size would not have been enough to stand up against an emotional adult, which is what happened many times, even within attempting to face and question what was being said, as the act of questioning upset the program in and as not being in agreement, where a program seeks a “like match’ in and as an agreement.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this fuzzy idea that I am supposed to ensure the ease of another, as thought this is my responsibility, where I cannot determine the ease, inwardly emotionally of another, as this is their responsibility and believing I am responsible for this is actually taking away the life of another and not allowing them to be themselves as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I am not self honest and seek to please another I end upabdicating myself as life, even in becoming the agreeable female, as this creates a design of dependency to an idea that is in separation from life here as it considers an idea and not what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that becoming a savior, watching to save another from discomfort is actually a controlmechanism as a protection defense mechanism from a starting point of fear of attack and fear of being judged as less than, and within this a desire to be considered special.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all of this actually separated myself from common sense of what is actually physically here and only serves some limited ideas of what is good and what is bad, where the being of myself within and as these limited ideas “holds no water”, as in holds no water as life, as what determines us as life is what is actually physically here, as in death nothing of here is taken with us, so evident in that material things are no longer in the belonging of the person having died.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is the being of myself here, interacting in and as the physical that is what is real, and thus within this, it is an absolute crime to deny any child what is needed to sustain life on this planet, it is a crime to deny the physical needs of animals and to abuse them by placing them in environments that do not consider the form and function of the animal as what the animal is in fact, it is a crime to deny the soils water, and all in the name of some idea that profits must be generated in and as money, where the real profit is life so abundant in this actual forgiving earth.

When and as I have a thought that I must brace myself to be ready to provide comfort for another, and I focus on the emotional needs of another, I stop and I breath, and I realize that I am here.
When and as I find myself preparing myself physically through constricting into and as a readiness to ensure the comfort of another I stop and I breath and I realize that I am not responsible for the other emotionally, that my response is to what is physically here in common sense and that should a situation happen where there is discomfort and disease emotionally in another I am in fear of being able to defend myself, where what is needed is to be here in common sense of what is here and to look at what fears are present and to walk through them in common sense in the context of my world where humans that are already in relative comfort exist on this planet, where I realize that there are many who do not even have a chance at survival, as the present structure of this world is not in support of life, the solution to which is an equal money system where life is the value and thus life is what is supported with the freely given resources as earth as what the earth is as an expression of life.
When and as I find myself focusing only on the presence of another, where thoughts of fear such as what this person will think of me, or what others will think of me, or if this person somehow has an idea of outcome that is not met, it will be because I was present, as so many times men blame the woman, or the object present without taking the time to consider what is present in common sense, as the fears behind the blame are based on a fear of loss within a survival based system of inequality.
When and as I imagine that I will end up being blamed for something going wrong within a scenario with another person I stop and I breath and I realize that I am not an unlucky charm or a luck charm, as this is a superstition and has nothing to do with what is actually physically here as life.
When and as I imagine that I might possibly be the cause of disease I stop and I breath, and I stand here in and as breath, with and as what is actually practically physically here and realize that there is no such thing as being accident prone, as an accident is simply a lack of understanding and awareness of what is physically actually here.

More self forgiveness coming on this behavior of preparation in working with another.

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Day 175 The interest of self into fear

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I serve an emotion or feeling within and/or without I am serving/responding, as what has been taught as what I am in gender, race, society, region, nationality - all of which are built from idea, opinions and beliefs of what is more than and less than in value collectivelyaccepted as definitions made huge and idolized not seeing realizing and understanding that this very movement of myself was to and towards survival within a system of survival, done for so long, for eons of time, that I can no longer see through these selected values that I service through becoming the voice of again and again and again and within this voice these limited values, these selected values to maintain my salvation within this system of survival that is inequality within myself in relation to my roles, and without, believing I am saving another through directing them to take on my values, my way of surviving, where if I stand back and breath, and slow myself down, I will realize I have been existing in separation from what is actually physically here, I have done this for so long that I have no concept of HERE, thus am I unworthy of life through my own doing as I have ignored here, ignored the total value as the value being life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I am with a man, specifically, and he reprimands me for not having been with him when he met another person who ended up complaining, saying he wished I had been there to “save” him and within this I have a tinge of guilt and a voice saying I am not responsible for this, I am blaming myself for not having supported another in what I believe I am supposed to do for another as in filling a role play as what has been learned that is in ignorance of what is here, as emotions and feelings have become justifiable and servicable within obligation, this whole scenario an ignorance of what is actually physically here, and an ignorance of looking at the very structures of support through resource use and distribution that we have allowed to believe should be bought, that we must buy our life when life is what we are and thus this is what is the gift and what is the value, and within this, if the human is running around constantly serving limited values and beliefs to maintain a collection of values - within all thedivisions existent within the human society - such as gender, class, race, ethnicity, nationality, etc. etc. -we are in effect serving a collectively held, selectively chosen labels within built up ideals of what will allow us to survive, where these beliefs, ideals and values have become traditions, meaning what was traded as self as life into and as limited signatures within wanting to survive, where what I have expressed, or traded as the substance of myself as life within expression, has allowed myself to gain within a system of inequality, to see realize and understand that to maintain all of this, I am in essence being a bully when ever any choice is made that is not what is best for all, whenever a choice is made that does not support all life, that does not realize that life is the value.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I continue within emotions and feelings and thoughts I am living a separation from equality and oneness to what is actually here, thus I am in separation from here, and becoming upset in any way is actually myself in separation from here, equal and one with here, any complaint, any whine, any placating of a whine, any service to a whine of self pity, of woe, is me as a separation from here, as a whine/complaint is service to emotions, thoughts or feelings in and as mind as character as persona within or without, in-fear-i-or/hear/ear give to surv-i-al as the human is the only perceived “all” within a limited ability to realize all life as being equal, which is the consequence of believing the human superior to what is here on earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that after the death of my husband, and probably before -having been a foreigner in another culture, I had so many people voicing ideas and opinions and beliefs as to what i should or should not do, ideas and beliefs about what had happened, ideas and beliefs about what I needed, who I should be with, how I should exist etc. etc etc. that one day I just had to stop, as I was becoming angry with this constant telling to me of what i should or should not do/be/chose/live as when none of it actually was physically helping me support myself as my children in any way what so ever, that even within society as a single mom, I was held socially at some distance, only allowed venues where I would not be perceived as some kind of threat by both females and males, to the point where I could see that judgements held more value than what was actually here, that so much of this world is one big cry of self validation within desperately held ideas, opinion and beliefs as to what was here, when the whole time, what was here was ignored, that this was blatantly evident within the health industry if one would take the time to investigate and there are many standing up and voicing this, professional healthpractitioners, yet no one wants to realize that we all must stand up investigate and make the change together,because that pension and that health insurance are not going to be what will deliver the best practice, as a state of health is not a profitable state within a profit based system. Health does not make money.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go off on a tangent, yet this tangent is the image and likeness - as the subject I used- of all that exists on this earth down to the very detail of what the human is being as emotion and feelings and thoughts, as these emotions , feelings and thoughts, are the divisions of self into and as selectively, thus limited and inconsiderate, held values ( that in themselves are not good or bad) as a “dress code” as a human more-all code in separation from total consideration of life, as total consideration of life supports all life and makes the profit life, and not a separation into a relative/representative value being life, as what money is and has been allowed to become as the determiner of life, thus does the human actually represent the separation from life, so easy to see as what the state of this earth reveals in the loss of soils, animals, drinkable water, where the human must stop and realize the consequence of a limited value system, this limited value an act of division into and as controlable states of being as self definitions that take this taught interest of self and bind this to an outer divided interest in service to limited values, thus is the existence of self, as emotions, thoughts and feelings, the currency of expression for survival, just as money is the currency of allowing what allows expression as an outer structure here, thus what is within is without, one and the same manifestation, a separation from what is real, from what is the absolute value, which is life.
Thus, within this,
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to separate into and as energy, as an emotion/feeling/thought of myself as a whine, complaint, in and as a belief that I am less than another, as this is existing within a value secondary to realizing the value is life.
I commit myself to breathing, to remaining here, equal and one to what is here, to no longer allowing and accepting myself to physically constrict as thought I am a blow torch sucking in being here, into and as an energetic motion, as an emotion/feeling through a thought of myself believing that I will lose something, when what is lost is a relationship in separation from being the living word as being equal and one to all that is here as life.
I commit myself to realizing the structures in and as what I am allowing myself to exist as, in looking at the very thought, emotion and feeling I am allowing that indicates the values I determine and thus become to ensure my own survival, not asking the question as to why I am spending all of myself surviving, why I am acting in the interest of survival and not expressing myself as life, which is to say , why am I worrying, complaining, fretting, and thus fearing and thus hiding and blaming and judging and and and instead of living as an expression of life here.
I commit myself to inwardly realizing that I exist as fear and that it is this fear that creates a feeling of worth and/or unworth as I attempt to survive within a system that uses this fear, as all humans are fear, as the few who have control of that which controls as a starting point of belief in loss that is from an initial separation from equality and oneness as what is absolute as the substance of life, where each must realize the separations individually accepted and forgive this beingness and within this stand collectively and create/organize/clean up the same outward structure that is a profit determined through money- as separation, no longer aligned with the absolute value in all that is here on this earth as being the substance that is equal and one in all that is here.
I commit myself through breath to realize how I have relied on relationships as support of myself , not seeing realizing and understanding that yes within this system that is a separation, relationships are what sustains me, yet this is an ignorance of what is actually sustaining, and this has gone on for so long I realize nothing else, and no longer see physical reality which must stop, as I must stand, breath, self forgive myself and correct my starting point back to and into what is absolute within all that is here, as this is the value, which is life, which does not deny actually physical “relations/communications” with what is within my world, it simply means that what is here is life, and that this is the value.
I commit myself to breathing, to bringing myself here, every time I fear losing a “made huge as value” relationship to realize the value is life, to realize the only answer is in recognition of what is absolute, one and equal in all that exists on this earth, which is the very substance of life here and to see, realize and understand that emotions , thoughts and feelings are a time warp from being here.
I commit myself to realize that when I become the character of fear of non compliance into and as fearing loss and/or punishment I stop and I breath, and I forgive myself this separation through breathing, bringing myself here within and as the principle of oneness and equality, and I do not allow the thoughts as judgements as learned deliniated values of a more all code that is a relationship built as what i support myself with in recognition of the human only and a system of money determining life that is/has been built/allowed/supported as money, to be all that I see, forgiving myself as these learned thoughts back to myself, and within this taking the ensuing emotions and feelings as the polarities of my thoughts back to be directed within what is best for all in support of what is absolute, as the value of life, no longer becoming the action of loss of myself as life, as I become the action of fear of loss within allowing emotions , thoughts and feelings to he what i am here, as what i have been taught that is a belief in a relationship as the definition of myself.

I commit myself to asking myself why I cannot read beyond a set of consequences existent within this world, why I become uneasy within going beyond learned structures of sequences, to realize that what I voice is often a limited set of patterns and that this is knowledge and information, and not what enables me to see what is actually physically here, or even really understand what is actually physically here as life.
I commit myself to no longer allow the personification of worth or un-worth as this is a separation from being directed as what is best for all, but an emotional storm of a belief in more than and less than which in essence is what a personification is, manifest as outplays as characters in fear of loss as guilt and shame, and gain and praise all in an awareness that self has separated self from self as life, that self is no longer in common sense of what is absolute, one and equal , in all existent on earth, which is that the value is life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that life is not in expression here on earth, that what exists is death and destruction, that for life to begin all must stand as self as life, in common sense, that this system of money determining life- and this no longer supporting life, must stop and be realigned to support the value that is what life is, and that within this each and every thing of this earth will become an expression of life and know thyself as life, here, the potential for which cannot be realized until all that is here is equal and one, within self as realizing the value is life.
I commit myself to realizing that the consequences of my allowed separation manifest physically in my human physical body, as I am not taking care with my human physical body in utilizing it as an instrument of life, as I am using this human physical body as a battery to support energetic reactions as emotions, thoughts and feelings, that are the polarities of my accepted separation into believing a secondary relationship has more value than that which is the sustenance of myself as the value, which is the substance of life equal and one in all existent on earth.

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Day 153 Listening and solving involves no reaction

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this memory that comes up, where I lose the “good graces” of my mother.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear creating anger in a parent
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the wrath of a dominating figure, as this was lived in childhood, without the parental figures even aware of what they were in fact doing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the domineering force of someone bigger than myself , as this memory is from my childhood, where I was small and had no choice but to accept the aggression as the mind as the parents, in separation from life, from self as life, and thus I was powerless to speak up and stand up within myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I become confusion, within myself , I am in fact allowing an unequal focus into a general perception absent details only, where it is almost like not being able to breath, as though I am not looking at the details and the general overview and thus my breath is no longer one and equal to what is actually physically here, because i am not taking this in, I am not allowing myself to become one and equal to what is actually here, thus i miss a breath, i am not one and equal as breath, as the very substance of what is here, and thus am in ignorance, separate from common sense. Here I am causing uncertainty within myself as though meeting the demands of the domineering force is separating common sense as what I am where there is a jump- so to speak-as a bypass that negates common sense details.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing the :”good graces” of a parent in fear that I would be attacked, or my life made difficult.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I acted this way in facing a woman the other day, where my fear was going against what she wanted, even within common sense, as the issue had to deal with money, and within such issues, things are not revealed as what they are, and the illusion is accepted and thus believed to be proper behavior in terms of business.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide from facing the lies I have within and as myself
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define fear within speaking up, within speaking and describing what is here, when all speaking is is describing what is here
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define fear within speaking up.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to speaking up and to standing up within connecting fear to speaking up and standing up in separation from myself here in common sense, where I fear giving details that contradict and expose in common sense, where the voice of the domineering voice often gets louder as these details upset self interest as what is wanting to be presented. Here I stop and I breath, and i walk the details as being in common sense of what is here, despite a rising voice, as often such details will upset a consciousness of self interested persona as what supports a survival belief system developed in unequal awareness of life as the value, as money has become of greater focus than life, and thus is the human a persona reflective of money being greater than life, and this is the force of separation from life, dominating earth, causing abuse and suffering to life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing women for fear of losing their good favor, their favor.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing the favor of another person, not seeing realizing and understanding that remaining in favor with someone means giving up myself into and as their favor in separation from myself, where there is not favor to lose and the only “favor” is to be life, here, one and equal here
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what others will think of me within and as my choices of change
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear of loss to favor
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define loss within favor
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from favor and from loss through defining loss within favor in separation from myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect loss of friendship to standing up as life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear no longer supporting the emotional needs of another as I feel responsible for the emotional needs of another, as though I must change the emotional state of another, which is a starting point of wanting to change another, but it is the expression of life in separation of life, that must realize details supportive of a common sense of the value being life, as the composition of what is here is one and equal to me as life and must realize life as the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can be bullied
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being bullied, where even when I speak I will be bullied, and thus i must just face this, as I have done this, I have build up ideas in and as my mind and then believed them to be real, where what was faced was the bully as the mind, separate from this physical reality, to listen to what is here, without reaction and to stand and bring what is here, within the principle of oneness and equality, back to self as life as the solution to create equality as life, where the value as life becomes the purpose as what life is in fact as an expression as life.

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