as- KING Day 783

In working with children, I realize how much that absorbent ability, as the child, does not have boundaries. Meaning that absorbent ability takes in what is around it, and becomes it. There is no separation. Yet, this is and what would be the very nature of our natural absorbent ability! We learn to define the qualities we absorb over time and define ourselves as that, when that is really a process of clarifying what we are seeing and what we are being, as a expression in a relationship. I say relationship because I am here, on a physical planet, moving in a relationship with all that is here, composing an expression as the whole as the physical as this earth, as creation. 

I can get caught up in my review of the reflection of what I have taken in as a value within the process of defining who and what I am as a physical form on a physical planet. I can forget what iI am and take the resonant ‘ copy’ as what I absorbed as a form, and make that larger than life. Then I become a con-sciouness of separation.  Amazing how our schools are this manifest, showing ourselves to ourselves as how we are allowing informing as separation from the practical reality. And we do this with words, mis-using sound, to create more and accumulating consciousness’s of separation. An instored/in-spired/in- layered/in-storied set body of information. Can we ask ourselves why we can’t remember what we did last year? If we are following a resonant construct of limited - information,  as a set body of information, how can we be present realizing the reality around us, in ways that do not cause conflict with the physical reality? Our actions do not fit into that reality, the one we absorbed that created a picture that then, through allowance, became larger than life!  

This begs the question, as as-KING, as self reflection with regard for what and who we are as physical beings on a physical PLAN-it,  where there is a at-most-fear,  why such a thing as shaking within ourselves exists? Is it possible that the sha- KING is countering a set body of resonant information? One moves against acceptances and allowances, as a resonant construction, when one QUEST- ions with as-KING ? Meaning, when one reviews one’s reality outside of that set body of resonant belief, as limited information, where one no longer is using that natural absorbent ability that can have no boundaries, as the process of understanding this reality, that is a natural action and is how we expand and realize who and what we are here? 

Within me, I can, in this moment, sense a righteousness. Meaning, my manner of wondering why we cannot see this, is in itself colored as being righteous. As always a truth is present, yet when made larger that life, it can lead to righteousness. Which is doing the same as what I speak of, making something larger than the practical. 

I can realize how stagnant I am from my own acceptance and separation from processing what is here, from reading what is here. In so many ways, it really is to get my processing speeds moving, meaning to realize what I am allowing as what I have absorbed without principle, and at the same time, reconnecting to having a real relationship with the physical reality around me. It is to become a master of who and what I am, to ground myself in this reality, a physical reality here.

That righteousness is a form of wanting to fix things, as rebalance things. It is wanting to have things move suddenly, which is an expectation. Then, that expectation is not lived out, and a reassessment takes place, which is a process. Yet, being present in this reality, within the realization of the principle of life, as being as doing no harm, is not yet lived with that natural absorbent ability in every moment, as this is the only real choice. In this, there is realizing in every moment, wth every breath, that there are no problems and only solutions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not recognize moving into righteousness, as the colors, as the hyperbolized value judgements, rushing within me,  as an accepted and allowed practice of and as a false morality, that when and as I move against my own acceptances and allowances, I begin to shake, revealing my acceptances and allowances to myself, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as an idea, as an expectation , instead of slowing down and breathing, cross referencing here, assessing here, investigating here, to listen to here, to as-KING here, to ensure a stable and steady balance, within regarding and respecting all things, as who and what I am here, as life, that is physical in manifestation as creation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and realize, see, and understand every movement within and as me, as a intellectual set body of information, believed to make me superior, as a more, within a survival game, not realizing how I work as life, and rushing to win, to conquer, when I am here, inherently able to absorb the form and movement as expression of what is here as the physical, to become aware of, as myself, to define me, within relationships of all that is here,  and the balance of and as what does no harm, taking that which is good, leading to a living breathing, changing, expression of life in FORMation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move, to self direct as a set body of information, from and as a consciousness of separation instead of  moving from the heart of me, as life. 

When and as I find myself moving into conflict as resistance,/rejection/reaction, I stop and I breath, and I embrace with as-KING  to ground myself here, to assess and investigate, to balance and realize  the practical in the moment, the simple ordinary, the hum --bell expression within realizing a principle of recognizing and respecting living reality as the expression of life, composed of relationships of and as working/breathing/living in harmonious balance, that moves with ease, as there is no rush, there is here, where the value is being life. 

Day 389 Self Forgiveness on the Manner of Consciousness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a machine of infinite affinity to ideas, opinions and beliefs, instead of looking with and as my self as life, breathing here, realizing the physical, equalizing this within this being myself in common sense as  myself as life, absolutely directive within the principle of what is best for all, where there is not fear, only absolute focus on being directive with consideration of all life , where all life is me and i am it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the limitation that objectification into a more than and a less than creates, as a separation from awareness of the physical world as me, where I allow myself to become stagnant within one dimension only, within and as my mind, as consciousness as pictures,   which is to say that I move as limited knowledge and information, which is in and as itself not good or bad, but limited, and thus a separation and thus stagnant, a suppression , which we can see is the system playing out on earth, which in totality is a separation from the physical earth, thus there is not respect for earth , for the physical, as the totality of life, as earth is not considered, and this lack of perception, this lack of depth, this lack of awareness, this separation compounds to the point where the action of the many as the physical body of a collective of men, is not respected, is not seen and realized for the life that it is, as the few that represent the outflow of each of our inner separation from life, as the physical,  simply play out the extreme of our inner accepted and allowed inner separation, thus what exists as the system of men, is the consequence of separation from life, from respect and equal consideration of all life, of all of the physical, this physical world that which is real, that which sustains us, that which sustained heaven, which is why such a statement existed that said that heaven had to be brought to earth, I mean why would such a thing be said?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear describing the extent of separation that is the mind, composed of thoughts created and recited again and again by parents who were themselves in separation, and thus what was said was not all bad it was simply words that taught/constructed a placement on a grid that is the outward manifestation of the inner separation of the human, thus this present economic system on earth as the human, is the representation of our separation, each of us, from life into and as consciousness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that there is no ease until there is equality and oneness with and as the physical, that there is not ease until the separation into a heaven and a hell is brought back into equality and oneness with and as the physical being real, being what sustains us, being what is the value, and thus the value is all of the physical as the physical is a symbiotic world where this physical world functions as an interconnectedness, where there is no monopoly within the natural world as this will not work, because it is trying to force an idea on how earth should be from a starting point of separation into and as consciousness, as limited values, not good or bad, simply blown out of proportion, the effects of which cause a cognitive dissonance, as separation from equality and oneness to and as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the the knowledge and information in and as my mind, that is an echo of the present system manifest on earth, is a lack of common sense of self as life, as same substance that is the composition of all life on earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the consumerism system is composed of limited values that disregard the physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that believing that I have affinities to certain things, as other humans, instead of looking here and realizing the expression of life in all things as the physical is the expression of life, is myself in separation from equality and oneness to the physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I gravitate towards something, as another person, I am in effect following what sounds like my own accepted and allowed values, as moving towards what “ sounds” as I am, what is energetically of same “ drone” of belief, opinion and idea, where the manners of the person move in specific ways, of which I compare to my own accepted and allowed manners, and thus am I following what is of like mannerism, not seeing realizing and understanding that the very movements of myself here as the physical is a collection of beliefs as values I have accepted and allowed, built according to class and race, gender and nationality, all not good or bad, yet built in separation from equality and oneness, acceptance and allowance, of respect and consideration for all of the actual physical world that is me, and example of which, was that when I was in Europe, when I lived there, in the tourist season I constantly had Dutch people walking up to me and speaking Dutch to me, and I would look at them and say that I did not speak Dutch that I was not Dutch, and the Dutch person would react in surprise and say but you look Dutch, which makes sense within my family, because my father came to America from Metz, and my mother came to America from Germany near the Dutch border, thus the past is embedded within the manners I exist as , as what was sensed and imitated from my parents as a child in the first seven years of my life, and thus i am a product of generations of collected beliefs, opinions and ideas that are of separation from equality and oneness to and as the physical, all a separation from being equal and one to and as the actual physical world, a separation from practical common sense of the physical, directly, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a product of a system of separation, which as an accepted and allowed separation from the physical world, a world as a system that functions in one-dimensional living, as the beacon of the mind is a map of limited imprint, which is not good or bad, simply a selection of values then followed as what is real, creating a bubble of separation from what is real , from what sustains us as the physical world, thus consciousness is our separation, our inferiority to and as life, the gift given, to be an expression of life, the gift as the actual physical world, to become equal and one to and as creation of the expression of life as the physical, which is the only way to becoming equal and one in expression as life, here.

I commit myself to when and as I see and realize a dis-ease with  here, within and without, to stop and to breath and to slow myself down, as reaction, as a sense of vertigo, and I bring myself back here, into and as a state of ease with and as breath, and I look at the separation manifest as loss of self esteem, as a voice of blame and spite, as bitterness, as victimhood, as jealousy, as envy, as self pity,  all of which are judgement, an act of comparison, as being myself within limitation, and I direct from here, I follow through within and as the principle of what is best for all, I no longer accept and allowed an end game as idea as knowledge and information only without practical application, I bring all thought, my accepted and allowed map, into and as what is best for all, here, as this is the only choice, to be equal and one to and as the physical here, which will take practice and time, as the separations have become habits of survival, and thus must be deconstructed , seen and realized as separations, and brought back into an expression of life, equal and one.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that  the separations must be forgiven, which will then allow myself to stabilize in and as breath, to stop, slow down, the storm of the mind, and the reactions as emotions and feelings, the collection of beliefs, as a survival suit, the feelings being the good, to hide the separation as the limitation as the “ bad” as a value of one thing being more than another, where the feelings are the intensification of the bad into being considered a positive, which is really a justification for accepting and allowing the judgement of more than and less than, a resistance, a  pushing away into the conformity behavior , where common sense is suppressed, causing dis-ease with and as life, as the present system is life in reverse within a system of limitation, inequality, manifest as what exists on earth with the amount of abuse to the physical world, the behaviors of which are visible in the news, of which consciousness, if allowed, ignores, as consciousness is a tool being used as a mechanism of separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.

I commit myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that since I have followed the map of limited values as consciousness as mind,  if I try to “hold” the perception of space here in and as myself, even down to being able to have the strength to hold tension and then releasing this tension in and as my physical body, it takes an effort, as my ability to hold and sense the physical world has not been developed as all I have done is followed a map, where i become myopic in clinging to one point at a time, as I as an instrument of life, have practiced separation, and limited common sense, thus the development of myself in using common sense will take time, as it took seven years to build enough beliefs, opinions and ideas, as images of my environment of a system of separation into a grid of inequality, that it will take time to deconstruct my own separation as what I learned from generations of such accepted and allowed behaviors unequal to the physical, to life, in totality.

Related articles

• Day 378 Self Forgiveness of the unknown.
• 375 Paranoia of the unKNOWN Self Forgiveness Thought
• Day 383 The Paranoia of the Unknown: The illusion of ONE hand before our Eyes
• Day 372 Heaven was a lesser dimension, the mind is the sound of your separation.
• Day 374 The paranoia of the unKNOWN cont.
• Day 380 Self Commitments, Paranoia of the unknown

Day 318 The Innate sensibility of the human physical body and the image holder as the mind

There is a boy in this small town where I live that is aware of the animal life around him. One day he was at my home and a bat was flying around in my yard. I spoke up about the bat being out in the middle of the day, because it was not something I had seen, and he looked at me and said that it was a baby bat, and was out because it was just playing with itself in flying, in testing its wings. I was surprised that this boy had the awareness to even make such a remark, if the remark was correct or not. This boy was already introuble with the law, was already failing school, and was already taking someone’s credit card and buying lingerie on line for “girl friends” as the consumerist, sex maniac warp of reality embedded itself as the only directive that would become this boy as an adult. So, here was a boy with an awareness that had no value within a consumerist society, an awareness, a “noticing” of the world around him, that was being redirected into a limited view point, a limited obsession, a warped reality where somethings, some aspects of life were turned into huge things to run after, to obsess over, to become possessed with, deny other qualities that noticed values that were parts of this existence, that were expressions within this existence.
I watched a movie last night about family life. The concerns within the family were not in and of themselves something to be denied, but the focus on the interactions as therelationships and the wants, needs and desires of each individual in relation to what our consumerist market directs the human into and as. Emotional values become synonymous as self as entertainment lived as what we are, and each person within this further warping these already limited values believed to be real as all self is. Is this what develops friction in the family removing an ability to communicate. The validation sought within each person within this already warped scenario is simply a desire to have one’s warped obsessions and possession validated, fed, justified. Thus our movies, popular movies, are about relationships between humans in a bubble, an energetic one at that, so unstable because there is no real relationship to here. Our consumerist society promotes this, because what is created that can be sold, not only consumes how we focus ourselves, it also limits awareness, shuts it down. Meanwhile a few then control the very focus/expression of each person on this earth and do this control through fear as what they themselves exist as.. This really is messed up, and once realized so simplistic. When and if humanity woke up, the shock of accepted and allowed ignorance will be astounding. And who am I to speak in such a way, because I was/am the same. Some tiny thing happened that sensed, without an ability to express this ( which probably still needs work), that just stood back and had this “overview” thought that something was very messed up about existence. And really, it does not take much to realize this, we all know it.
What all this means is that mankind is able to sense the environment. It also means that man can be programmed. So, if we know man is capable of sensing the physical world in tandem with being able to be programmed, then we can begin to step back and really look at what we have accepted and allowed. To look at what is being programmed in, and what is happening to the physical world we are able to sense as what we are physically as a “tool” to sense this physical world. And this “tool” also has the capacity to hold pictures/movies that are pictographs of ideologies placed in image memorized, and the image can be a part made huge, a distortion, where limited aspects are what is fixated upon.
The question then is how to balance this, how do we equalize the sensing self, with this understanding - that is being used- that images - as memories are held within- that can compound to the extent they actually start directing us? How do we move from this separation into life alignment as the actual physical world around us? How is it that we function in directly sensing the physical in equal consideration because this is what we are and what is the real support of us? Any action or development of shutting down, creating ignorance as conditioned blindness/non-development beingness/focus, of men that does not place /include the tool of the human physical body as individual “sensor” of the actual physical earth into full “sensing ability” is a crime against life absolutely. The blame is ourselves as we are the ones as what we are -allowing pollution, habitat destruction, ecological destruction, this that is needed to support the physical world.
The answers are here right in front of us, even within our constitutions. We have placed the principle of “ for the common good” within many variations, and coupled with this the illusion of profit, of a more than and a less than, this concept in and as itself an illusion blind to life as the value, there can be no one thing that is a greater value than another. The ideology of profit is illusion placed onto this physical manifestation. Inequality creates the behaviors as what is here, as the physical world, as nature trying to compensate for the imbalance. We are the creators of here, thus we, the human, are the creators of the existent abuse on earth. The bodies, as the humans in power, who benefit within comfortable lives are merely the extreme of this ideology onto creation, and each of us are caught up in the illusion of our own demise because we have removed ourselves from ourselves as a physical tool that is of the same substance as the physical world. This tool is the gift of sensing the form as life in expression that is earth here. This is what is real, this is the “cutting edge” of life. There for, heaven and any “invisible” hand are the illusion, all imaginations that in essence manifest as a lack of communication.. Memories are memories, imagery, not real. No one has seen “god” because there is no god.
Our behaviors show us our ignorance. Blaming an object for the action an object on this earth moves as, will do nothing within realizing why what is here is moving as how here expresses itself, because everything that is here, as how here is in expression, is due to what systemic confines are placed that create how here as earth is within movement. It is like trying to turn the electricity on in a house from a broken switch, or a malfunctioning switch and then blaming that switch and asking the one singular switch to “fix” itself. Can’t be done. Impossible. That switch needs the awareness within the sensibility of the environment, to reform it and connect is to the whole. It is to understand our extreme individuality promoting consumerist profit based ethos limits life insight and we do not see our own habit as this. A misdirected focus into a limited awareness, and all the while, the human, as a physical expression, as a tool can become aware of so much more, to the point where this awareness can be itself and allow the parts of this physical world to be themselves as well. How can one immediately grasp this if illusion is a taught reality? I mean , why are we filing into steepled buildings to beg to a vapid form unseen, in denial of a “part” of existence as the physical? The real question is why does equality not exist, in all common sense? The lack of communication shows us our resistance, our separation our loss of sensibility. Blame shows us our separation, spite shows us our separation. Conditional giving shows us our separations. Equality does not deny order, but it does reveal a present order that is based on division into limitation as a control as more than and less than which is judgement, as forcing into one size fits all within brackets of class, race, culture, that become obsessive within how a woman should be, how a house should look, how resource should move, resource serving only parts of existence.

TIme to stop, time to bring ourselves back into realizing the physical world and aligning ourselves equal and one with the physical, to remove the projections, to realize the mindas image maker, emotions thoughts and feelings as the compound of incessant thought that are ideologies describing a part and not an actual physical sensibility of life, because only physical and self interaction can determine what is real. A thought is just a picture and profit for a few is an ideological picture as mind in separation from life. The illusory third, an imagi-nation dividing life from itself.

Day 170 I could not move my physical body

We can ONLY ever be here.
I took a train to Italy, an overnight train. My husband and I had a sleeping compartment.
We were robbed. We later found out that the train conductors sprayed a gas under the door to put the passengers to sleep, and then go in and take money from pockets and bags. And yes the next day we found all our money gone.
But, I remember someone being there, remember in total desperation trying to move my body. I could not move it. It was like this heavy thing that would not budge. It was like screaming inside of something that would not budge. Very strange at the time. And I was very pregnant.
I suppose many would be bugged out that some stranger had “violated” a pregnant woman looking for money. But I have not thought about this too much, because I am still here, so what fucking difference does this make, it , as an after effect, is just an idea that can be made huge by imagination and some morality. Even if I was violated, I have no real recollection of it, just a sense that there was someone there touching me in some way, and all I was deperately trying to do, was move my body. And I could not.

The effects I reacted to, were that the next day I had no cash to buy food, and I, being pregnant, wanted something to eat really badly, and we could not - for some reason- not use our bank cards in the ATMs, and since it was Sunday, the banks were closed.
Obviously, there are desperadoes in Italy that need money to buy food. And they are in cahoots with the train personnel to get money. The moral in this lesson - with in this present system of inequality- is to have a gas mask and a watch dog assigned when riding overnight trains in Italy, but even then, maybe it is better to go to sleep and risk monetary loss, as being awake might cause more damage. lol Have some cash to placate, but not enough to be a painful loss, and never arrive in Italy on a Sunday. And realize you will be asleep and have no recollection of being violated. lol Make sure you have Equal Money plastered all over your body, even tattooed to send a message.
In all, the real question here is why does such activity exist? Why is there a man, or woman, or group, stealing money? I mean why is this what we, the human, have become? Why is someone spending their fucking life stealing to live? Why is someone spending their life starving? This world, the activity of this world is a living picture of what is accepted and allowed, it is an album of the human’s acceptances and allowances. And it is not a pretty testament of our behavior, the care of our home, this earth. This album is our passport, it is the picture of what we are. Would you let such into your home? If you were the inhabitants of another planet and earth came to your planet would you want us? No. I would say, get your fucking house in order and then come and see me. No one would want a person who behaves in taking from another what is needed to live. I would not want someone like this in my home. What is really sick, is that there are people on earth doing this right in their own homes, locking children in rooms and ignoring them. We, collectively are doing the same thing when we allow children from other parts of the world starve.
It is no different. This earth is our home.
This memory came up within me yesterday. So, here I am with this.
I realize, with all the things spinning around in my mind, that the way the present system exists I have to constantly worry about my future, which places me with thinking about the future, which separates me from HERE. So, that which I use to plan my future, is that which I then allow to consume the very flesh of myself, as I create a detailed plan of what my future will be, and then react when this somehow does not go according to the plan in my head. And meanwhile I am not here.
Obviously, I also do not have the ability to direct my human physical body. Someone can drug me and then I will be unable to move myself. Is it the same when I am awake? Am I actually awake? Is this world, and what we allow, indicating that we are awake? No.
Interesting, I remember one time lying to my parents to avoid a spanking, and I had to watch my sister take the punishment. It was so awful I could not ever ever do this again. NEVER. I have some sibling rivalry sometimes, but it is like i cannot allow it, as it means pushing something down to block it, and this memory always comes up of how awful it is to watch one of my sisters become diminished. It was also hard to watch my twin sister place herself within the constant attentions of men. She did not really have any other choice, they were always there, even as little girls. I will have to do forgiveness on this, and this existential behavior in society, effected more after the death of my husband, as it is as though my children were deemed last in line because they no longer had a father, which made no sense to me. And still does not. but I guess within this system, they are considered less because they have missed the programming of a male. But then again, they were with their father the first seven years of their life, so the supposedly “right” programming is there somewhere.
It makes it all clear as to why I am a destonian. This system makes no sense, that is the bottom line.
It is so bad, how much senselessness is the outcome of this system, that there is something within and as me, that realizes I cannot move my human physical body.
And in the last days, I have felt stiff, like it is difficult to move my human physical body. And why would that be? Fear petrifies, we all know this much. And since I have been planning my future, my body is telling me that I am not here. All I can be is here. Unless I drug myself with ideas of a future that are not myself actually being here.
( I stop, I take a break, and I notice a little fairy tale story going off in my mind, a little “fix’ of validation. how entertaining for me! I write such good little stories in my mind; my own personal radio/entertainment system, right here as my mind - no wonder why some people have the radio going all the time, they need musical accompaniment as dramatic magnifier added to their self pitying litany in and as their minds)
The point of all this ranting and raving is that in order to live, what is here, in this moment is all there is. A system of hoarding and collecting, to survive, as what the present system does with the tool of money being a secondary representation of basic needs, actually separating us from being here. And if we spend our lives not being here, how can we learn to actually be here with our human physical bodies? We can’t. Unless we have so much money, that we are born into from day one, that we do not worry about the future. Very, very few can do this, and many of them must eventually learn the ways of maintaining this structure for the next generation. Thus, even this does not exist with those who happen to have more money than others. In the end we are all doing the same thing, worry about money, which is worrying about survival, which is worrying, and not actually 100% being here, one and equal with our physical selves.
Playing an instrument takes absolute focus, our bodies are an instrument, and our system does not allow us to focus on ourselves as life, ourselves as an instrument of life and it does this by placing con-dictions or fear in the guise of potential loss of our homes through death unless we have enough money to support ourselves. Focusing on this need of money, means that we are not here, developing a focus on playing with this physical world, ourselves, as an instrument of life. This system supports diminishment, suppression and not expression as life.
Yet, we, each of us is the cause of this. We started this individually and created this collectively accepted scenario. So, it is us, each of us, that feared standing up and performing with what we are as life. We accepted the experiences of others to guide us, which is not “bad” per say, but we did not incorporate this as us, really sense this and become responsible for this as us, we took the “idea” and had this be the directive - so to speak. This is a huge difference, as one develops a burden to carry and the other develops an actual applicable self direction, self hONEsty with the very substance that is the basic element of composition. Big, huge difference.
But, if all we have known is the idea ONLY, fathoming self direction will not be immediateley apparent. Plain and simple. Thus self forgiveness is to realize this, to make the ideas, beliefs, opinions, that manifest as emotions, thoughts and feelings, as what has not been resolved and understood within and as self, that keep self running to something, as the need desire and want is to actually incorporate - so to speak- within self as an understanding, manifest in actually being able to self direct without the need for a crutch ( which means the understanding is not fully grasped as an awareness of life) , where the want, need and desire is a signature of unfinished understanding as life. The present system uses this to not allow self realization, as those on the top of the pyramid have also not self realized as life, and they just happen to control the outward manifestation of allowed crutches in abdication of self directed, self honest, self responsibility as what we all are, as life.
I could not move my human physical body because I had not actually become one and equal to myself as life within actually accepting my human physical body as one and equal to me as life, of the same fucking god damn substance, my eye of the needle, my ways and means of expression as what i am as life. And the very system around me, was not helping me in any way what so ever. it is like this one little moment, reveals the totality of existence. And this is all it really takes, and every moment here, is probably working in an absolute purpose of revealing this to each and every one of us, all we have to do is stop and breath and look at ourselves as what we are, as what we have accepted and allowed, and then we will see this, as it is very fucking loud. lol
Another way of realizing this is to simply look at yourself as your human physical body. Any disease is a signature of separation. And there are children who are not being given what is needed to live, even before they have a chance to understand themselves, This is how, what we have allowed is effecting all life, this is the amount of separation that has manifested and compounded here on earth. As within, so without. Man, know thyself. We have been told, what is needed is right here. Plain and simple.
How come you/me to not be HERE? Why are we not HERE? How is our system, the way and means of distributing what supports, not allowing us to actually be one and equal with ourselves and our human physical bodies, where this is actually manifested, where this is what is happening in joy and ease? Everything is here that is necessary to allow this, it is only what we have in and as our minds that is creating what stops this.
Fuck I have a lot of self forgiveness to do. Don’t you too? Is there not anything else to do but to give yourself life as what you are?
When I was on that train, trying to move myself from within, concentrating on moving myself, was all that I really needed to do was breath? But i had not been taught this. I did not know how to be , one and equal with and as my human physical body. Just as within myself, there was an awareness of separation manifest as not being able to move, and without in the environment was an action taking place that consumed the focus of the human, a need for money, that thing made god, that thing determining life, that thing avoiding being called its real name, what the human has made an idol, into and as what determines life, where life is what we are. The value is life. Remember this with and as your human physical body, breath, so we can all learn to play equal and one, with and as, this actual physical world to be and become instruments of life. Support an Equal Money System. Let’s get the show of life in theroad. Time to remove and stop the vehicles of war that we are accepting and allowing on earth. 

The creation of the mind.

Life Review series, to realize separation and the consequences thereof.

The Consciousness of the Fly and much more!

Quantum Mind

The practical solution Equal Money

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

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Day 61 The reoccurring child within

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see an overview of how I have constructed my self to fit into this world, where many of my behaviors are built on reactions to this world as I was growing up within this world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that when I was very little I clung to my father when I was fearful, and thus when I as an adult am fearful I begin to want to have a man to comfort me in my fear, as this is what I did as a very small child.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become the rejected princess, that very same child, who then reacted with indignation and anger at this rejection as another sister came into the world and became the princess, thus did I lose my princess status.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have rejected the wishes of my father when I became older because I was angry that what he wanted was to “show off” to his friends, and thus I refused to do what he asked.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that, like the stories I entertained myself with over and over again, the story of Jane Eyre and the story of Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice, I am perpetually being the rejected princess hoping for salvation within the norms as the roles of a woman within this system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I am torn between that which affected my mother’s generation, where woman were supposed to stand up and become Wonder Woman, and take on the world, thus do I move from one to the other and end up wanting to drive myself as my self forward and the wonder woman, and when I become firghtened and stressed, I am once again the little girl wanting comfort from my father, as he was the one that comforted me as a child.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that with my mother what I did was sit and listen to her worry and self pity, thus do I have this persona within and as me, a persona of worry and self pit. as I , a human, imitate the behaviors of those I am exposed to as a child.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have a pattern of behavior here within all of this, where I go from wanting comfort within feelings of anxiety and fear, and then I move into spite as wanting to be independent, and then when none of this works as I expect, I go into worry and self pity, and this spins around within and as me, this “string” of behaviors, that go no where and are myself existing within an emotional bubble, where all of us have this if we choose to stop and look.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that existing within this drama/behavior/emotional conditioning I am existing within limited resonant emotions and feelings as what I allow myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to immediately forgive this with each breath and bring myself back to what is physically here, as what is physically here is what is real, and had I learned to direct myself here as this realization that what is physically here is what is real, and had I grown up within a system that supports this physical existence, instead of the rape and greed to control and own this physical world that presently exists - that creates so much fear of survival - this whole dramatic imbedded behavior that I have experienced and carried with me, need not exist, and is what stops what is able to be developed as the human, capable of developing an expressive ability one and equal to the ability of the human physical body in full utilitarian capacity.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that the system that exists on this earth does not allow for the development of the human to its full capacity, and that in common sense there is no excuse for this.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how I have become the behaviors of fear that are the reflection of a profit/greed based system that, just as with myself, is incredibly abusive and unacceptable and must be realigned to support life, as this earth is being destroyed and too many humans are starving, animals and humans are experiencing starvation and disease, when there is no excuse for this to exist.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see how I as the persona of what I am is constructed, to not stop and stand back and become aware of the patterns of my behavior, where should I do this, it will become very obvious that I am but a refraction in and as my behavior endlessly repeating itself again and again and again, and thus do I build my bubble around myself and diminish within my own self created stew of emotion and feeling that separates me from what is real, this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this present system of profit actually cultivates this stew of emotion and feeling that becomes the consuming bubble of my own acceptances and allowances, that diminishes me into a shriveled up white haired, sagging skin, aged human dying a death of no actual transcendence of death.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that many of the behaviors of children are simply a lack of ability to focus themselves here within actual reality one and equal to this physical world, where the separations cause reading problems and disease, evident in all the psychological labels created to define the lack of ability in our children to  self direct as human behavior is becoming extreme in outplay of accepted and allowed separations.

I commit myself to realizing the patterns of my behavior, through realizing how I exist as personality, through the words I cry/speak as I interact with this world.

I commit myself to realizing that many of my responses to people I meet as I interact within this physical world are of fear, and are what I hide, as the hiding of myself as life takes constant voice to maintain the walls of what I hide, and thus is what I am as the behavior I exhibit, actually exposing what i fear, making what i am very obvious.

I commit myself to realizing the the behaviors I exist as are the same as what is accepted and allowed by the human, as the very images and projections of advertising and consumerism, that are broadcast on television screen/ media and the story as behavior reoccurring in every family circle on this earth that are what is taught and are what the human becomes that is an imposition and separation into partial existing away from and thus non-including what is real, this physical world.

I commit myself to writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to bring myself self equal and one to my physical human body, and to support an Equal Money System to realize the value of life and to stop the separation into and as limited consuming behaviors.

Equal Money

Life Reviews - Do you see yourself?

Desteni