Day 291 Fear of speaking Behavioral dimension

Fear of speaking Physical dimension
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to lose my breath, when and as I speak with another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an erratic breath when speaking.
i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I begin to speak, if I have become “breathless” I am in separation from being at ease, with and as myself and am missing breaths, and thus allowing and accepting myself to become a physical behavior of uncertainty and anxiety, “skipping a beat”, no longer remaining calm and gently here, equal and one with what is here, in common sense of here, able to look at the details of what is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become overwhelmed with what is here, as the words I and/or another speaks, where all I can do it slow myself down and listen and speak with ease, to get what I want to say across, as this behavior of “gasping” for air, as in not being at ease with and as breath here, is an indication of being absent in awareness of here, and thus inferior to here in common sense of the physical world, this which is real, as the gift of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the past, projecting this past onto a future, in and as a belief, that I will not be understood.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what I have to say will not be heard, not seeing realizing and understanding that often others with whom I talk, are missing breaths/have shallow breaths, of which I was made aware of years ago, as I knew a woman who taught people to slow down and breath, as this was a method she taught and the premise was that most dis-ease is caused by a lack of proper calm breathing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there have been times where i have spoken with ease and in a gentle calm, and that at these times there was no added stress within communication, thus such a state of calm within and as speaking exists and thus such a “state’ can then be maintained and regulated, in self awareness, which means that each of us can be aware of what we are doing with every breath, here, and that any moment of “excitement” while speaking can be realized simply by paying attention to one’s breath, this being the gift of the physical to regulate ourselves as life, here, where it is not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that determine ease, but the actual physical behaviors of our human physical bodies.

I commit myself to becoming aware of my breath with every step I take, to see, realize and understand what I am accepting and allowing with every step I take and every word I speak, to realize that in paying attention to my human physical body, i can determine where and when I go into anxiety and stress and thus, separate from here, from common sense of what is physically here, as it is here, as this physical world that determines myself as life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when as and I begin to lose my breath, to separate into and as an unsteady breath, I stop and before I speak, I bring myself back into and as a steady breath, even using the “four count breath” before speaking, to become a behavior of ease, equal and one , in common sense of here, before i speak, seeing realizing and understanding that making sense of what is here, without stress and anxiety can only be done with ease in common sense of here.
I commit myself to becoming aware of when and as I read with anxiety and dis-ease, to breath and slow myself down and follow each word, whether spoken or written, by and as my self or another, to manage myself as life, respecting this gift in and as life here in common sense of what is best for all, to give as I would like to receive, as receiving response from others, done in calm, with patience is how I would like to be spoken to.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that sometimes one must speak up to stop another from being a bully with words, as ideas, opinions and beliefs, yet even this can be brought back to speaking within and as a state of ease, equalizing self to a calm even breath, which should be the steps within a sequence as the outcome, within and without, as this is the process of working to and towards equality and oneness, with and as this actual physical world.

Day 85 After the death of my husband

Day 85 After the death of my husband

I was sitting in a cafe and suddenly I saw this elderly couple; my parents were there. I felt this sadness come up, as a drama, of myself no longer having my husband to grow old with, to have the supposed “golden years” of a relationship.

But the whole time I was this, I also did not really feel this. For some reason, here I was being what I know I was supposed to be, but it was somehow not real to me. It was like a crying that was not real. 

So, I am sitting here, watching a part of myself cry about no longer having a life with the same man, and wondering why I was doing this when it was not real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be sad because I will not have a husband, the father of my children to grow old with.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of the matriarch growing old with a husband.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the character of myself as the wife of a man with whom I grow old is lost because my husband is dead and therefor my life has become limited because I will not have the opportunity to exist in the role of the elderly couple living out their golden years.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of the widow, believing that this is somehow less than the couple living into their “golden years.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge being a widow as less than and a long time married couple as more than/superior.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had the emotion of sadness that I will not live the idea of “the golden years.”

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I became sad after my husband died, that I would not have this, I actually had the thought that somehow none of what I was feeling was real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have seen at that moment after the sudden death of my husband, that somehow I could see that the emotions I was feeling as what I believed I was supposed to feel, I in fact did not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have stopped the emotion that was in me at the time as it was based on an idea, as what i had been taught, and not life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was afraid of saying this, even though I was aware of this, because I feared it would be considered as something being wrong with myself, when in fact, it was more an acceptance without judgement, as I was still here and I did not feel different.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have seen while at that same moment, a couple of days after the death of my husband, there was an arab couple in the restaurant where this happened, and the man accompanied the woman to the bathroom, and within my own drama I was watching this and thought, why must this man take this woman to the bathroom, why does this exist that a woman cannot go to the bathroom by herself, and what a burden to constantly follow a woman around for both parties.

I forgive myself for not having allowed myself to see realize and understand that all the characters around me moving as belief , opinion and idea, were not in fact living.

I commit myself to realizing the crying of my own mind in and as the separation from life i allow and accept myself to exist as, that is inconsiderate of all life, of this physical world.

I commit myself to stopping the tears falling through and as my mind.

I commit myself to realizing that tears falling in and as the thoughts as ideas, beliefs and opinions, are not in fact real, and are a separation from life.

I commit myself to stopping the self pity, the comparison, the competitions that are what my thoughts, emotions and feelings reveal, and bringing myself here in oneness and equality to this physical world, maintaining focus as myself within and as breath.

I commit myself to facing what is here,  the veil that is consciousness in and as the thoughts, emotions and feelings in and as the mind, myself a programmed organic robot of memory, my accepted and allowed pictures of separation.

I commit myself to forgive the shame I exist as as I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from myself into the illusion in and as the mind, somehow knowing I have accepted and allowed this as I walk into my past and remember events from my childhood.

Journey to Life Blogs

Life Review

Day 57 Turning away from the physical

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run away from the ego of men,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the ego of men.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I am now an adult and that my fears are based on childhood conditioning that I need no longer burden myself with in and as habit, as a habit I carry, as this is no longer necessary, as I am able to stand and face the being of a human, as life, and to apply the principle of oneness in equality here, within what is best for self is best for life, as what is real is this physical world, and not the alternate reality of a mind consciousness system of programmed roles habitual play in a system that develops “attitudes” believed to enable success within a system of profit that does not support life, does not realize that the value is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that whenever this feeling of physical comfort and desire comes up, I am in fact facing a habit of behavior, a “habit” of female subservience/ role play/personification of seeking emotional placating sympathy allowing a man to act the “knight in shining armor”/ helper/ manly man/ protector/ super hero/ big daddy/ show off/ rooster/ spiritual leader/ god head (lol)/  where I stop my self from being here and taking self responsibility, self honesty and interacting directly here in common sense with this physical world, as though I have some “blip” on some screen, as me, stopping my own physical oneness and equality common sense self here, where this “clinging/seeking/comfort/sympathy “blip” alternate reality has become an addictive need, and a picture show in and as my mind separating me from myself and causing me to develop personas to feed this desire that is in reality a blip on my life, where the blip has become greater than my self as life here, and the burden of this, the “entity” of this is consuming me and causing self disgust and self hatred as I abdicate myself as life,

Within this, I realize that the present system on earth places these constrictions to support a system of inequality, and separation from oneness and equality, uses these “habits” and “frocks” to bind the human to the needs of the “habits/frocks” to the point where the human becomes as the Barbie and Ken doll, the man being a personification of manly man-ness and the woman being the personification of the damself ( I meant to write damsel) in distress, where the man and the woman are not being here, one and equal to their human physical body in common sense of this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have probably missed many things in running to comfort and support because I had learned that one little surprise in my environment, of little frustration, of sudden unexpected change, of interaction that was my self learning to work and understand this physical world, as I developed a response of running for comfort, where later in life this came to be associated with sexual desire, and thus do I connect sexual desire to comfort from men, where men are not really seeking comfort but ejaculation, energy release, and the coupling of this with the fitting of an image onto this physical world, and are probably disgusted with themselves when the woman, the physical actual women, does not meet the alternate reality picture show in and as their minds, where they have become their “frocked” self as children, separate from this physical world, as being in common sense, just as much as I.

I forgive myself for not realizing that this entity/persona/presence bubble/projection is in fact what I was then as what I am now, that I endlessly repeat, as myself in separation from myself in common sense, sensing the world here, standing and facing, being one and equal to, this physical world, where as my self as life I stand and face what is here, I do not allow what is here to  cause the reaction within myself  as allowing  a state where I become overwhelmed/ frightened/ non-seeing/ self justifying of my non-accepting of what is physically here in liu of some idea, belief, opinion/ constricted self., where within this even the tiniest of movement within myself as fear i stop and I breath and I forgive the labels as voices and fears of the mind consciousness system and I bring myself here, I do not allow myself to use the past as experiences to judge what is here, actually physically here, where I hear/see/ realize the mind speaks in loops making a singularity into a endless novel experience in and as energy and thus consumes my self, separates me from this physical world, and like a vampire sucks the life out of my human physical body leading  to death and not myself becoming one and equal to life. 

I commit my self to realizing physically, inwardly whenever i have this “pull” this emotional directive that is a separation from myself within my human physical body, which will also have a quality of fear and a conscious front of desire for that initial reception from the initial shock, moment of non-looking moving towards receiving of a petting sympathy outplay, where this habit must be walked through and removed to bring myself back to this physical world, and within this to realize that any and all emotions of self pity, are only a mind tantrum of not getting a tangental energetic loop that has in fact become the prison of life the separation of life from accepting what is here, physically here.

I commit myself to realizing the patterns of my behavior and to take this bull (shit) by the horns and becoming a self direct physical equal to this unconditionally giving earth, to speak about, write about, make comments about a system that allows life to bloom on this earth, to realize heaven on earth, to allow every child born to become one and equal to this physical world, to work in tandem with this physical world, to support what is the value here on this earth, life.

I commit myself to revealing the absolute atrocity of a profit based system, where there in no argument available in common sense as to why there exists starvation on this earth, where there is no excuse as to why men are killing themselves, as to why people are disfiguring and eating other people, as to why animals are being placed in a caged life of disease - and of that matter why humans are being fed rotten diseased flesh, as to why presidents get funding from pill makers seeking profits and stand on platforms with a devil shit eating grin saying they are bringing universal health care to the populace when their donations are coming from the pill makers, pill makers who create anti depressants that are mostly fluoride, when it is known that Hitler used fluoride to placate the unwanted, within this the goal is to create sustained income for the few and therefor not about health as health is not profitable or enslaveable.

I commit myself to, through writing , self forgiveness, corrective application, removing emotional/feeling polarities of more than and less than past influence as judgment, of the devil and the angel on my shoulder, of a morality play, as an unsubstantial story inconsiderate of this physical earth, of any and all righteousness as turning myself into a salvation voice of demanding immediate understanding of what the human has become to bring myself back to breath and the deconstruction process of my self as a construct of habitual energy, to walk the equalizing of life on this planet to realize the value is life, and thus to bring heaven on earth so that life can begin.

Desteni

The process of the mind

Starvation in a Land of Plenty

Day 53 Rejection and expectation are Image Nation

Day 53 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I have been rejected by friends, by people that I have known throughout my life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel that I have too much to do.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel bitter within the very muscles of my face, the raw red devil of my self behind the mask of a human face, to believe that no one listens to me, to not realize that the present system of profit, accepted and allowed by the human, as it is what is within each of us, as fear defended as ego in fear of loss, that the very being of ourselves as this is so entrenched that each of us can no longer hear, can no longer see that all perceived hurts and losses are the “what is due” allowance of non self direction as life, of clinging to directives from without, of believing something of ourselves can be lost, of expecting something without to take care of us, when it is only ourselves as life that is the care built right in, a perfect instrument of life, rejected, thus all rejection is self rejection, where the solution is to self realize self as life and forgive the accepted and allowed resonances of blame, spite, justification, excuse,  and to clean this up within to begin the walk of cleaning up this system on earth that does not care for, hear, see, sense, what this earth is, as what this earth gives, the gift of life, as this is the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to save the world, without realizing that until all ability to stand through a constriction of dis-ease within my self is steady and constant, where I carry no blame, no shame, no excuse, no justification, no spite to and towards anything of this world as this world is me, the same.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel it is impossible to reach people, as I feel it is impossible to reach myself, all an illusion, as what this means is that I am stagnant within blame, spite, excuse, shame, humiliation, self judgement, and within this I hear only this cry as the mind that has embedded itself into my physical so long was my cry of self pity, that I can no longer hear my self as life to the point where I am separate from myself as a turning from myself the embrace of myself as what I am, dis-allowing this self embrace as life, here, constant, steady, where self embrace is.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame people as system for not hearing myself here, when it is me that is not hearing what is here, it is myself not hearing, as I am moving as ego, as energy wanting to win something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that all the people who turned from me were turning towards what they believed would be of support to them within a system where money determines existence instead of the value as what is here being life, and within this life is not granted expression and development but the following of what is offered within presented lack to create fear where all are indentured to subservience to systems of limited design, drugs that do not cure, to animals in confinement and suffering, to education systems that place children in a chair for hours taking in information without any practical inclusive use of their gift as a human physical body, to sense, to see, to experience physically this world, where the very soils of this earth lose what allows the soil to breath - clean water, microorganisms, decaying plant matter, air, all working in tandem to support life, where the outflow of this is a sound on this earth in constant broadcast which must be heard and faced and realized as needing to change to end the grind of useless inactive life expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  blame others for wanting to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  place blame onto myself and any other, when all there is , is to remain here in breath as myself , to walk the clean up of this earth, which means the clean up of my self of resonances of blame, spite, excuse,  accusation, insecurity, superiority, more than, less than, dreaming, imagining, all a reality separate from what is physically here as the gift as a tool of expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have ever been hurt by another, that I have ever been rejected by another, that I needed to add on a persona presentation to fit into the group separate from common sense of what is practical in this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to defend in the face of opposition instead of standing in common sense whether heard or not heard, where if spite and accusation is response than it is simply that common sense is effective and the mind resists, as it is not the label of gain sought but the constant as common sense as what is best for all that is passed on, until it is done, as what is best for all will not manifest until it is passed on, thus what is best for all is all that is to be voiced, as I as life cannot be life until what is best for all is manifest on this earth, thus does the orchestration of what is best for all begin, the voice in the darkness of that which is best for all as this is here, as this is what the human wants, as the life that is here must itself create, and thus is the voice, yet weak and small, beginning to speak as life, where this voice will only manifest through speaking and living this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize, every time I doubt, that this doubt is the cause of what is on this earth, that this doubt is separation from life, as this doubt will generate fear as it is in opposition to life, just as when I face opposition and doubt, where I fear separation from what is before me, not looking at what is before me and in common sense using the principle of what is best for all, where the conflict is in itself in separation from agreement and action as what is best for all, and it must be known that there are no choices but what is best for all.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see realize and understand that should I look, I will find a hole within my heart, a hole self created and accepted and allowed as I have become stagnant within my self in abdication of life, where this hole lies the whole of life, when this hole is the path to the whole, the being of myself as one and equal to life, this embrace of giving, this heart I am lead to believe is fixed/cured with chemicals within a system of profit that needs followers to allow leaders as profiteers who themselves are not life, as they are as tied to me as I am to them as I accept and allow a system ignorant of the giving abundance of earth, the physical,  a cure that has not in fact been found as the form allowed and accepted on earth is tantamount as the present destruction of earth reveals, as disease can only be cured by self thus must laws be passed to force the opposite as though words are abused/used to guard falsity when such structures need not exist as the earth is here giving freely without signature, as signature is a creation of man in separation, having lost a sense of the whole, and thus attempting to fill in the lost hole of self with structures that have no substance and must be printed endlessly to survive.

I commit myself to breath, to breathing to pushing through resistances.

I commit myself to slowing down my breath and giving response only within a steady calm breath.

I commit myself to  realizing that all anger is based on a belief as an expectation of a persona based on accepted societal values and structures that are inadequate in allowing self direction and thus self discovery of this physical world and the expression of self as life, within this the letting go of the anger as persona management is a habitual justification accepted and allowed as what is real, yet absent in awareness of this earth and self as a directive as life.

I commit myself to remaining within breath in the face of expectations that are themselves in separation from life,

I commit myself to breathing through anxiety, as anxiety is based on expectation within habitual personnel developed in separation from life as a starting point.

I commit myself to walking as self as life, as realizing this physical world as what is real and one and equal to myself here, where there need be no anger as the physical is the embrace of life.

I commit myself to speak up about the atrocity of the abuse of earth existent as the present money system of profit where money accumulation is valued more than life, and within this, denies the equality and oneness of men - and all subject to men’s imposition - to this physical world of substance, that which in fact is the expression of life, here.

I commit myself to realize expectation is a mind dream, and thus a separation from what is physically here.

I commit myself to realize that, as a child, many expectations were driven into myself, leading to a separation from the physical world and a search to fulfil and complement imposed expectations

 instead of developing self direction, equality, expression in and as the physical world.

Life Review

Energy and money

Day 41 Spite as defense of mind imagery/label

Day 41 Spite as defense of mind imagery/label

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that when I face people I am defensive  and that this defense is spite, that this very action is my self in fear of loss, where I have become so singular as mind I am no longer aware of the fact that this defensive action that is of spite if my self fearing the loss of a fixed idea i have of how I appear to this world, as mind, that is an imposed structure as conditions needed to survive within a hierarchy where money determines who lives and who dies.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to look at what actually I exist as, as I interact within this world, from the time I get out of bed in the morning to the time I go to sleep at  night, where I realize that my spite is often prevalent when I am not receiving a feel good response from another person within my world, where if I take the time to stop and to look as I realize my self being spiteful towards another, I am actually existing in competition as energy as I am not receiving an expected response to support a feel good experience of my self, a self validation of what I believe my self to be that I believe has worked to support me as a person of accomplishment giving my self meaning in relation to the world around me, as I have been taught to believe that the amount of knowledge and information I can recall, and the amount of material possessions I acquire determines my value, where any situation that does not validate this belief I have of my self is perceived as a threat to this constant re-validation I require to sustain this image I have of my self as this image is of energy and thus not real, and thus will dissipate if not perpetually acknowledged, where I am so involved within this image I have developed of my self since the day I was born through family, friends, education, media, religion, culture,  that I have lost sight of my self as life, that which is constant and needs no validation as the being of my self as life simply is, where what I seek as I desire to have relationships is this self as life, this constant that is my self as life, not realizing, seeing and understanding that it is the labels I exist as, as what I have been taught, to ensure my survival, that supports my existence within a system of survival , that is my self in separation from my self, as I have limited my self into parts, like a broken Humpty Dumpty, where it is only my self that can take all the labels as separations -as stagnation of my self into singular imagery, that can put my self back together with my self as that which is constant, as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that spite is a “push back” action, where I resist what does not support the positive image I have of my self, where I feel I am not accepted and within this realize that I am actually not really looking and listening to what is here, where should I listen to what is here I would understand that what I am spiting is actually my self  because what I am rejecting as I defensively spite is my self in another life and the same fear of rejection that I exist as within the being of my self as spite. Within this, if I took the time to communicate effectively, I would come to understand the same fears as I am motivated as, as this is the cause of my own defensive action that is of spite in fear of loss of what I have accepted my self to be as label in separation of my self as life.

I commit my self to breathing and taking the step to realize how much I exist as spite, where I have buried this spite under the ideas as positive thoughts of my self that I have developed that are of labels of what i believe my self to be.

I commit my self to breathing, to maintain a constant awareness of my self within a steady breath no matter what, and within this to watch the action of my self as mind, body and soul.

I commit my self to stopping my self from remaining in fear, as what spite and defensive action is, and to begin to look at what is physically here, where I will begin to realize that what I exist as within is no different than what others exist as within where a lack of communication is what separates equal understanding between two or more people.

I commit my self to breathing, developing a steady consistent breath within my self to become aware of how spiteful I am towards others as I begin to look beyond the ideas I have of my self.

I commit my self to breathing and within realizing how much defensive and spiteful action I exist as, as I practice remaining in breath, to begin to interact with spite, within and without with patience, where I realize that I have actually spent little time in my life actually listening to others and my self, as my behaviors are one and the same, and thus accepted, within a system of division and conquest to serve a system where money comes before life, where money determines life and how money is presently moved around on this earth, supports the stressful separation of my self as life, where I sense that something is not “whole” yet I am so caught up in the game of survival that I am missing what is right here, my self as life - that which I seek that does not require something separate from me to exist other than the needs of my human physical body, such as water, food and shelter, which is given freely by this earth, yet not by man, where earth, this physical world is why I am here and not the other way around.

7 year process to stopping the mind/nothingness

Facing your fears FB

Day 39 Family past and silence

Day 39 Family past and silence

My great Aunt, after I had spent a week with her, one day blurted out that I was a Riotte. The Riottes were a family line from Costa Rica, half Mayan and half German, well they came from Germany and went to Central America. Their lineage  may have been Portuguese jewish -  tribe of rabbinical jews - as what my father found in research, I say this because when my aunt said I was a Riotte she also stated why she said this. She said I had the deep quiet of these people, the Riottes. I looked at her in surprise, most people didn’t notice. This was a family trait.

It is a place I go, and I have been there lately. I remember going there when my husband snapped at me just before he died. He had never done this. I went dumb. Silence. Quiet.

Lately, I haven’t wanted to read words, speak words, look at words, see words. I have been here before, words seem tedious, linear, slow, limited. They do not say anything, they don’t express, they are too “flat.”

One time my parents were arguing, and they asked what I thought. I just looked at them and said, you are both saying the same thing. They continued to argue. I was studying music at college at that time, perhaps this has something to do with this, all I did was play music, I had to listen all the time, so I listened to their words and they were the same song, and trying to take the thing apart and explain what was “same” about it seemed an over whelming task. 

So, the words are beginning to seem to be saying the same thing again and again and again, and as knowledge and information, they hold no substance. Perhaps here is the problem.

Talking ‘at” people does not work, just playing notes does not work. Becoming the “sound” moves the sound. This in a way is trust, letting it all go and trusting becoming not an “at” but a “with.”  Being an “at” is wanting something, being a “with” involves much more physical presence. Does this involve first becoming silent? As there is no other place to go?

A resistance to words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to resist words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I am ineffective in using words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that words are limited.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that words are useless.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that perhaps I am avoiding words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to separate my self from words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I do not know how to use words and that I always admired people who could use words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe I cannot know how to use words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become overwhelmed by words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that using words is difficult.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to connect fear to words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that words move too slowly.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to separate my self from words.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to think of words as being a limitation.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to judge words as separate from me, to the point where I go dumb.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that words are pointless.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that becoming silent has something to do with my genes, which means I am not taking responsibility for my self.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to within this not realize that knowledge and information without application is useless and that it is not the words in and as themselves, but my application with words that is the resistance.

I commit my self to keep going, reading and speaking words, even at this point where I am resisting words.

I commit my self to pushing through this resistance to words.

I commit my self to pushing my self to read another blog tonight after I write this post, to face words.

I commit my self to pushing through this resistance to words and realize that what I resist persists.

I commit my self to become more aware of the words I use, and to use words within the principle of oneness in equality.

I commit my self to realize that within debates with others and understanding of words used has to be established or communication becomes assumptions ill defined leading to two people talking at one another without an effort put into understanding goes no where.

I commit my self to realizing that sometimes the habitual no longer works and that what ensues is a process of deconstruction, and that this necessitates a silence as the existent patterns no longer serve a purpose and here, all one can do is jump.

The 7 Year Journey to Nothingness

Desteni I Porcess 

Day 38 Flexibility/Movement

Day 38 Flexibility/Movement

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am a label, that a label, as what I am, defines me here as the expression I hold as my self continuously where I then spend my time validating in my relations within and as this world and the people with whom I interact not considering that life is expression and moves, where the ability of my self to move and express is dependent on this physical world and, where the care of this physical world involves awareness of this physical world and how this world functions,

within this I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to project ideas as what I am onto this physical world not realizing that in so doing I am ignoring this physical world as I have separated into an idea, focused on an idea instead of what is actually physically here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the stagnation of my human physical body, that which is the aging of my human physical body indicates where I have separated my self from this physical world and accepted my self as an idea of what i am in relation to what i have been taught as what i have accepted and allowed my self to become to fit into a system of being a woman and focusing on creating my self in the likeness and image of what a woman is in relations to the image of a woman superimposed on this world through advertising and media, through family and education, through religion and culture within and as the role of women down through the ages, where woman were seen as a fecund object of creation, and then a goddess, and then a virgin and then a whore and then a mistress and then a wife, a daughter, a sister, as mother, a teenager, a  lover, a witch, a angel, a business woman, a nun, holy, evil, even up to an object simply used for sex no matter the age of the woman.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow my self as a woman to realize that in allowing this to be the label as what I am I limit the expression of my self as life within a human physical body able to use many more senses than those in the service of sex and attending to a man.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to follow ideas, beliefs, and opinions instead of directing my self in common sense here in and as my human physical body in awareness of what is here as the physical world, being flexible with what exists here instead of rigidly following ideas of what I am determined by the roles within the family where the other family members have also followed roles as what and who they are according to a system propogating images and ideas of what the human is within a system that does not support life as being a value and instead supports limitations as expression as label in an effort to feed a system of money where the being of my self can be controlled to support the movement of money, which is the movement of unconditionally given earth resource to serve in the self interest of the existence of role play as expression of some humans being more than others when in fact all humans are the same, as all humans are life, one and equal as life, where some have access to self development and others do not, as a system of how money is used creates lack for some so that others can exist within an accepted and allowed game of inferiority and superiority.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see, realize and understand that as a human I am one and equal to all humans and that it is only my development that creates an illusion of more than and less than, where development is just as the word implies, that development is the order of walking through the steps necessary to expand awareness of self as a human physical body into understanding how this physical world works, thus within a system of lack all that is happening is that some do not have the means and the physical support necessary to walk through the order of steps necessary for development of themselves as humans beings that are in a human physical body able to exist on this planet in common sense.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in existing as pictures in and as my mind I am following an idea, an image and not actually using my human physical body here, equal and one to this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that in not developing the sense capacity of my human physical body and instead following images in and as my mind, I am not using the sense capacity of my human physical body and thus as my physical is not used it becomes stagnant and inflexible.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that my human physical body is capable of being developed to use its common sense, through following ordinary daily tasks and if I am in and as my mind following pictures I am so focused on these pictures that I no longer am able to sense with and as my human physical body and thus is my body not only rigid in following singular images directed from within but also lacking development as to become aware of my human physical body requires my full attention here and not in and as my mind as an image.

i forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that if I slow down and breath I can become aware of how much I am actually aware of my human physical body and how in breathing while completing simple daily tasks I can sense in every movement my own common sense of this physical world, where irritation, and impatience and rushing indicates how separate I actually am from this physical world and how I am not sharing my self as life one and equal to what is here that is of the same substance as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that I cannot function unless I have water, food and shelter and thus that people living in poverty, homelessness and physically limited circumstances have no ability to develop themselves and thus to become aware of this world and how this world functions, where within a system of inequality, where some have more than others, such lack of development can allow some to have more than others where such a belief is accepted as that is the way things are, which is disregarding the fact that the human physical body, which is one and equal as all human physical bodies, that is a form that can be developed to be aware in common sense is simply not being allowed to be developed, which is a crime against life, spite towards life,as life is the value.

I commit my self to exposing the fact that what I am/be is determined on what I have experienced within my environment, and as this environment in which I live is this planet earth that gives its resource unconditionally, there is no excuse for any human physical body on this planet to not have equal access to what the human physical body needs to develop itself, since it is known that development is walking through an order of steps necessary to become aware of this physical world, and that this does not exist on this earth means that the development of life is stagnant and the system imposed on this earth, that which has been created by man is in fact inflexible and thus not in sinc with life as what this earth is and gives unconditionally.

I commit my self to stating again and again and again that it is known that the human physical body is able to be developed in common sense and that the only thing stopping this is ideas, beliefs and opinions held by the mind as the life of the mind is believed to be greater than the life of this physical world, when IN fact it is this physical world that support the mind, thus the physical world is what is real and the mind is only a system of illusion and separation from life.

I commit my self to exposing how the present use of money that represents the resources of this earth renders the human physical body inflexible as it creates personalities as label of what the human is in oder to have the human fit into roles to support profit and inequality instead of using the resource of this earth to support the human physical body to become equal and one with this physical world through walking the ordinariness of becoming aware of self as life in using the physical world to allow the development of common sense in and as life here.

Day 33 Ordinariness

Day 33 Ordinariness

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe I have to much to do.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I cannot get things done in time.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to focus on a list of things I need to get done instead of being physically practically here taking things one step at a time as this is all I can do as what I physically am here as a human being with two arms and two legs, where physically there is only so much I can do as this, where realizing this will allow me to stop worrying and planning and instead simply walk through what I can physically do in one moment and breath and be here and enjoy what I am doing here in this moment.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I have completed many projects, thus to do this I simply take what needs to be done one step at a time and have fun with what i am doing, not worrying about making mistakes, simply breathing and using my common sense here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize from a memory, where i became anxious as I was directing a group of men, where the men stopped working, and I could not get them to continue, and they ignored me, so I went to do the work my self without compliant, and what followed was that one by one the men came and started working and in no time the job was done.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am waisting time and breath existing as the mind in feeling like I have too much to do.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have an attitude of life being difficult because on top of all of this two huge willow trees fell in my yard and now on top of everything else, I have to rent a chain saw and take care of these two trees, when actually going out and spending a day in the yard taking care of these fallen trees can be fun.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to  feel that I have to rush, where rushing will end up causing more problems because I will not have been present in common sense in and as the moment and instead be moving my self as “wanting to finish.”

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have the same approach when talking with my mother and father, in wanting results when I am talking with someone who dismisses things they do not know and want to talk about what they know within certain relationships, where they believe there is no connection between politics and finance, for instance, and realize that understanding may not come in one conversation, where simple points can be brought out and left to be continued at a later time.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize I tend to do the same thing I am doing in facing a list of tasks that need to be done with wanting to rush and becoming anxious in finishing said tasks as my behavior, as when I am talking with people, instead of just being ordinary, meaning not having any expectations, not wanting an outcome, expecting and n outcome as this “ironically” dismisses my self from my self as breath and common sense here, where in practical fact , I cannot be here and taking the step by step physical reality of getting a task done, just as when I interact with the words people speak where the words reveal the beliefs, opinions and ideas, that can only be walked through in common sense one step at a time, where if I rush in desire or expectation I miss points, just as I will miss an obvious practical thing to be done in completing a task, where when I miss something I have to go back and start again and this ends up lengthening the duration of completing a task.

I forgive my self for not realizing/seeing /understanding that the word ordinariness gives me the answer, as in doing things in order, which implies that a task can only be walked in order, just as the words in a conversation are a brick wall of understanding and thus the words within a conversation are in an order and that order can be seen, where the task is to take the words/bricks and order them in such a way that what they guide, as create, as “live” when walked in common sense will become living words as what is best for all is the simplicity of an order that is aware of the whole, in consideration of the whole, which is how a task is approached in joy and fun, as simply being one and equal to here.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that I cannot know the next moment until I am here in this moment, thus do I need the ordinary to bring me here, as all as one as equal.

I commit my self to allowing my self to become ordinary.

I commit my self to realizing in every breath, in every moment that there is, as this physical reality only the ordinary.

I commit my self to breathing here in complete ordinariness.

I commit my self to living ordinariness, where the ‘extra-ordinary” accumulates to become what is best for all as what is best for self is what is best for all, as this is what being ordinary practically walked manifests as.

The 7 year journey to nothingness

Self Trust

The Cross

Day 31 Embrace

Day 31 Embrace self

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to desire to be held

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to desire to have someone hold me, just hold me and accept me for what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that it is I that must hold my self and accept my self for what I am

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I need someone outside of my self to hold me and accept me for what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not hold me as my self accepting my self for what I am for what I have accepted and allowed and that it is only me who must hold me and accept me for what I am as life, as an expression in and as life, as this is my self allowing and accepting my self to embrace my self as life here, as I am life here.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to embrace me as life here, all that I have defined my self as and thus to forgive this as this is what I am and not what I am as what I am is equal and one to all that is here on this earth as this is me and this is not me as I am life here of substance able to express as all that is here in and as breath here where I am all and I am nothing, I am not fixed as some label, I am not a separation from life I am life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the only way to embrace my self is with another, to have a picture of being with another in order to be embraced, where I am in every moment embraced by life here as I am life, I am in the embrace of and as life here as I am this, thus in embracing my self I am embraced and embracing my self, where I become one and equal as my self as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am separate from life, when I am life, and it is only a limited mind of reflection of what i believe I am not that is what I have allowed my self to be that is the separation, that is my self in feriority of my self as life, where I wait for validation, where I wait for a sign, where I wait for the embrace of life as being something separate from me, when this embrace as life is right here as I am this, I am life here, this embrace here has always been here, I have not looked, I have not seen, I have not heard, I have not felt my self as life here, embraced my self as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have abdicated my self for some limited idea of what I am.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have abdicated the very life all around me, as the birds, as the grass, as the trees and the expression of life in people, in nature, in substance as I sought an embrace of limited design where I believed I needed a feeling and emotion, a fix, and energetic wisp of  a surge to be what made me feel alive , where this never satisfied, this never brought any sense of self being embraced, where I believed there was something wrong with my self in my application of communicating when In fact it was the act of looking for embrace without and attaching a feeling and emotion to this embrace that was what separated my self from finding/being/sensing an embrace of my self as life, where nothing outside of my self can validate my self as life as the way to embrace life is to embrace my self as life, so that the substance of myself as life can then embrace life as my self embracing my self as life, as though my self as life is the way and the means to connect to life that is here as all are life as what is here is life, one and equal.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize I have become so separated from my self as life that I will have to walk through all that I sought as self validation and bring my self back to self honesty as self as life in order - deconstructing the disordering of my self into and as dishONEsty as my self as life, where I forgive my self for not accepting and allowing my self as life to embrace my self as life here, where in common sense no teacher/parent/god would have this any other way, as the gift of life is what one is as life, given unconditionally to be and become an expression in and as life here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see/realize/understand that I am life, it is OK to EMBRACE my self as life, there is no shame, no guilt, no harm, no dishonor in accepting and allowing my self to EMBRACE my self as life as I AM LIFE or I would not BE HERE.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the EMBRACE of my self as life is conditional.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear embracing my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to embracing my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to wait, to feel that there is something out there somewhere in some fuzzy logic belief that I am supposed to wait to embrace myself as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that embracing my self as life is contingent on entering some heavenly domain where a supposed “god” will give me the OK to allow my self to embrace my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must hear the words, “ embrace yourself as life, my child.”

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that the embrace of my self as life involves energetic love.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self  feel that embracing my self as life would be a selfish act, where ironically this would be SELF ISH as in self expressing the “ish-ness” of self as life!

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to be ashamed that I have not accepted and allowed the very gift of life given, my self as my self is life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to mys elf to miss the elf, the elf as life as “self” as my elf as life.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I cannot give what I am not, if I am not embracing my self as life I cannot give myself as life and thus can I receive no embrace from and as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that rejection is of my own doing as I have not embraced my self as life here.

I commit my self to embracing my self as life here.

I commit my self to breathing, and with every in-breath to sense my self here as life, to sense life as all as one as equal, to within this realize that what i am with each in-breath is my self, where I face all that I have allowed as self in joy, in the realization that this is me, this is life, this is sound, this is of the depth of the expression of and as life, here.

I commit my self to enjoy this self as life, and to make my in breath equal and one to my out breath, where the breath of this equal and one breath is what all have on this earth, to walk what will allow all the embrace themselves as life, with all that is required.

I commit my self to accepting and allowing my self to breath, to embrace my self as life in and as breath here.

I commit my self  to realizing that self embrace is the embrace of life.

I realize that until I embrace my self as life unconditionally I am not as this earth, that which gives unconditionally.

7 Year Journey to Life Blogs

Self Perfection Products

Destonians

Day 29: Family is home.

My family is here, mother’s day, mother and sister came, sons are home. All in one day. My self, I become so aware of trying to communicate and remain here with ease and I find my self  trying to bridge a gap away from creating more patterns of separation, to not react but to direct, through not reacting. Meanwhile, this sense of being depressed comes, where as heaviness comes that is my self not expressing my self, as though this is not allowed. So, it is just trying to not become this, to use common sense to be here with what is real and to realize that this is all I can do, is be here and not allow any emotions and feelings and thoughts of judgement that are past on perceptions of inferiority and superiority to be real, to not measure and compare, as this is only the mind in separation from my self as being an expression of life, to realizing that all that is here is my self in another life, and thus one and equal to me here. So I breath. Even though I may not know where to go in common sense, hanging onto a more than or less than belief is simply not an option. It is more of, “ not going there into judgement,”  as though this “tiger” must be tamed and realized.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that there is a personality of my self that is all that there is, and that this is what is real.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to take the conversation, the small talk about how and why things are, what they are, and how they move, from family members as something to combat, or feel inferior to, or take as a threat, or react to, or judge as a waste of time.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to want effects as reactions and responses from family members.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel I am in a state of simply not allowing any emotional reactions to come up as this is my self as my mind and thus my self existing in my past, based on memories that are self judgements of more than and less than, inferiority and superiority.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to at times speak to validate my self,  which is my self validating a personality as an idea based on my past.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that at the moment it is enough to simply not be a reaction,to not take things personally and to stand up from this habit of taking things personally.

I commit my self to not taking things personally.

I commit my self to breathing through any reactions and to stand here without allowing my self to react to what is said by others within my world at the moment.

I commit my self to remaining here in breath, to being gentle with my self and facing what I allow my self to exist as emotionally and to realize this is based on ideas of more than and less than, and thus not what is real, not what is directive as what is best for all, to clean up what has existed as relationships separate from the principle of what is best for all, here.

I commit my self to remaining calm and directed with my self, to bring everything back to self, and directing my self from the principle of oneness in equality, to what is best for all, as I remain and move in and as breath while my sons are here for the next few days.

I commit my self to not becoming sad about what has been accepted and allowed within the role of my self as a mother within a system of profit, of all the beliefs and ideas that has been the movement of my self within a role geared towards the support of survival, competition and thus comparison leading to fragmented personality development and not an awareness of what has been allowed on this earth and thus a lack of awareness of my self as life, and the self that is what is my sons as themselves as life, where this sadness is not a solution and must be forgiven as the only choice is to realize what has been accepted and allowed, to forgive, and to correct within the principle of what is best for all is best for self.

I commit my self to not allowing my self to seek a positive experience where i am validated within the choices I make, and to use such desires to reveal my own separations of believing something is lost, or can be lost, and to direct my self not as mind, but through breathing and remaining here, where just as I continue to breath life into and as my human physical body, so will I breath life into what is here, through remaining within breath before speaking, as the only response is as what is best for all.

Day 26 My Fear is my Want

My fear is a want. The policemen becoming one with the action of the bum as the policemen are one and equal to the bum, as the police men joined with like being of themselves, as they are no different than the bum, as they have separated themselves from life just as the bum has, one through denial of system, the other through acceptance of system, where neither actually stand within as the system and transpose this system to what is best for all, to themselves becoming self honest and in being self honest becoming one and equal to life, life being what is best for all, that which allows self autonomy as life, where what is discovered is that what is best for self is best for life. Thus a system that disallows autonomy disallowed the discovery of life/self to realize the ability of self to direct self as self as this would be the direction of what is best for all.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear my self, to fear discovering my self, as this would mean looking at how I have allowed a system of separation, a system that dis-allows self autonomy, self discovery, self honesty, to no longer have control, where this entire system of disallowing self autonomy is so embedded as perceived and “only” method of support, as nothing else has been presented, is all that is seen, where the fear of loss of means of support as money, that changing this system is feared, as there would be no way to place food on the table, where everyone is waiting for someone else to stand up, and thus no change will come because it will take everyone to stand up, where this is the catch twenty-two, the symbol representing the separation of self into mind where self is a “2” where all the beings in separation as no longer being a one, are bound within a system they believe supports them, when in fact it is a system that develops separation and it this realization that must occur , realized and removed as in simply standing up and politically stopping this system through voting, where there is no need to radically change one’s life, but to simply stand up and support an equal money system to relax the catch as what has been accepted and allowed and from here be able to begin the development of man, of this world, to self realize the ability of each and everyone of us to understand this world, and the physical, becoming self hONEest, and thus automatically/autonomously self directing as life as all as one as equal here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize, thus to knot reality as this being of self is as an unawareness of reality, into an illusion of blame, of self pity, of self hate as what I have allowed my self to be, is a lack of understanding self as life, and thus in  the instability of my self in separation of self hONEsty I have no solid common ground, common sense to support me as life, as all that is here is life, and I exist in an illusion of the mind, that is placing conditioned separations as what is real as what is promoted by the current existent system as what is, where all sense of my self as life is never developed so what is left is a life of no substance and no support, on dependency to non directive, non self automating development, this non awareness that self has the capacity to learn and understand this physical world, where this is known, and thus to stop the discovery of self as life, plastered all over this world are directions that in essence are direction of self separation.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not take the time to stop and to breath, and to realize this, where is I took the time to stop and to breath, and to understand the monetary system on this earth I would in a short period of time realize how unsupportive this system is for any kind of self awareness development in equal capacity for all life in this earth.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that I cannot make political statements without understanding how money moves in this world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that as I seek money, as what I obsess over and wish for and want, as this is how I survive within this world, to say I do not understand the monetary system yet can make statements about political groups, indicates that I cannot understand politics unless I realize that everyone on this earth is dependent on money to survive and thus the very movement of politics is also about money, as all of this world is obsessed with money because money is how humanity receives sustenance as food and shelter and water, the middle man of existence taking a cut.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, hear, and realize that without money I cannot survive in this world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to understand that within a profit based system the illusion of lack must be created to de-man(d) life into fear of survival, and then within this fear as what man becomes, where man is blinded, a supply of life sustenance can be given, where this sustenance is grabbed and in this frenzy not even looked at for what is is, where what is given can be again divided to partially sustain a person, limiting self development, where the state of limited development can become all that is known and all that is lived, as self will know of nothing else, only have momentary sense of something being missing, yet what returns , as this has been made huge, is the desire to have money to survive.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I cannot understand how a debt based system in fact works, where debt is economic enslavement to a system where money  represents resource, as resource that is of this earth, an earth that gives unconditionally, and thus cannot be owned, yet I can be deceived into believing that this can be owned, as a monetary value is placed in this earth, and thus my earth, my possessions become a commodity for survival  as monetary value only, instead of the substance of life that it is where I in allowing this and following this become this instead of realizing my self as the substance of life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not understand that all debt is in the hands of the people, while the value and ownership of the resource as the money is resource transposed into a “sign,”   is then able to be  allowed to move or withdrawn within this society, to create conflict and lack and a mass of people blaming one another for this lack as the stories in the media, the media being supported by those who hold the real value ( which is simply a transposed value), promote relative cause and effect scenarios instead of absolute value causes and effects as seeing the whole of the present system on this earth and how this system by it very nature, creates the existent nature of mankind on earth, a “nature” that is man in separation and suspended-non-self-development  that is man in diminishment lost in relative awareness and not absolute awareness that all that is here on this earth is composed of the substance of life that which supports and is the equality of all of us.

Thus, I commit my self to speaking up again and again and again until my last breath the nature of this system that has become the nature of mankind on this earth in separation from self as life, as what is best for self is what is best for all.

I commit my self to revealing the limited nature of man as mind ,where many cannot even see of a painting is done from a photograph or from the actual physical world, where this subtle difference is tangible and can reveal the non ability of mankind to be able to sense this physical world  and the depth of insight available to each and every one of us, as what we are as life is able and capable to understand this physical world and become aware of ourselves as life, where what is best for self is best for all as this is life.

I commit my self to transposition my self away from only existing as mind.

I commit my self to realizing that my wants reveal my separations from my own self hONEsty as life.

I commit my self to not fearing my fear, as my fear is my separation and thus the very door to my self discovery , where i can bring my self back to self and stop my self existing in the bling of the energetic existence of myself separate from what is real, this physical world and my ability to common sense the life that is this physical world.

I commit my self to realizing that I have made my separations from life bigger than what is this physical world.

I commit my self to breath and realizing my fears are my separations, where my love is my addiction to habituated ideas of what is more than and less than, when what is more than and less than is what was taught as this was believed to be what one needed to survive and that my fears are what I believe I cannot in essence sense when such a statement cannot be real, as all that is here is life,one and equal as the substance of life, thus to say I cannot sense, as I am life, is a clear indication that something makes no sense, where even in the words “makes no sense” one can see the answer, that this present system makes/created/develops NO SENSE ability, removes/diminishes sense, eliminates the capacity of self as life, as life is what all is, to be itself which is life, thus how cannot  essence not sense itself as it is as all that is?

Equal Money System - Vote!

Structural Resonance Alignment