Day 295 Rebellion, Protest is Not Practical Change

Rebellion, Protest.
Any entity, voice or suggestion of rebellion, protest, or petition will not change what is unacceptable as it is not an act of change, it is an act of complaint, blame and spite. Huge crowds of people standing before a government building screaming “woe is me” is not an action that manifests change. It is asking the cause of the abuse to change, and since the cause of the abuse, the limiting laws and actions that bring the frustration and lack are what has been placed into practice, is the very from as government and system created by the people, this is like asking the people who have power -power that was given within a system of inequality, where money determines food and shelter needed to live in dignity - to represent existence and not grab more for themselves, that do not realize what they are as the mind, as consciousness functions, to stop and give up what they believe as the only way they are going to survive. And they do not, had they, this world would be different.
To have created a system where systems take care of each of us, instead of standing within and as our own common sense power as life, is to have abdicated ourselves as life, because we stopped moving as life, stopped looking at life, stop being life. Thus blame and spite for what exists, directed towards a governing body that is acting in self interest is not going to bring about any change. All this will accomplish is a tightening of control, where those in positions of power will hold onto that power without any consideration for anything else but themselves.
I think of facing a school committee here. Our schools are public corporations, created by the people for the people to ensure that what is for the common good comes before profit, which means, since profit is here as inequality monetarily, that it is acknowledged that profit through money is what exists as this system, and yet the governing body as the elected executives that represent the people as the enactment of what is for the common good: this is the school committee, have taken on the responsibility for the people, the people within the community having a responsibility to stand and to share any new technologies with the executives as the school committee that have stood to represent the public corporation as the schools, within practices that are for the common good of the people, to ensure that profit ONLY is not what is practiced.
What is interesting, in my local school committee is that most of the committee is composed of educators within the system and ex-educators. There are very few people in the committee who are not within or have not been within the public school educational system. ( Sound like the swinging doors of Congress and BIG business?)
So, as a citizen, it is my responsibility to present what I have discovered with my local public corporation.
But this is blocked. One reason is that the committee is so overloaded with paper work that they know nothing else, anything outside of the paper work agenda seems too much, as the paper work needs to be completed.
Another issue, is that this system believes itself to be the ONLY source of knowledge, anyone coming in and suggesting something else from without the system, is considered a threat to the “ego” of the system, as in the system not having done what this system represents, and this system does not want to lose its status for fear of losing its profit. All the personnel on the school have come and offered their services as something they are selling, their skills, and it is up to the school committee to realize which skilled people to place with the public corporation, for which they give a salary to, as the school personnel are “profiting” from their services, and thus this is not profit ONLY, yet since money is needed to survive they must receive some profit, or they will not be able to place food on the table and a roof over their heads.
Within this scenario, anything that suggests that their services can be improved is to suggest that they need improvement, and this would mean changing, and this might mean losing their profit/salary, which means losing their ability to place food on the table.
So, collectively this school personnel “group” are going to ensure that they remain with their power, as each is in fear of losing their profit. This fear is so big that common sense is secondary, and thus clouded.
It is always about money, so the reverse is actually what is lived within the order of the law presented. The profit ONLY is reality an the movement within sharing and living, what is for the common good is second. This is life in reverse.
What I find amazing - and this is an emotional blame/spite reaction within and as me. which I have to work on, is that many of the “educated” members of my community complain about how my local schools are ineffective, and yet the school administration blabbers on about how they are doing a good job, that they “believe they are doing a good job”, the best job they can. So, there is a difference of opinion, and when someone stands up and questions this, they are immediately shut down and considered negative.
Reminds me when my husband was about to commit suicide. I called his male friends, thinking that they would be able to say what i was trying to say in a way that would reach my husband. I even called his family and his boss, and all that happened was that I was considered to be paranoid, negative. In the end he killed himself. And I remember seeing, like a “cloud” like a mirage around him, and I did not understand what this was. And he seemed to be “shaking” a lot, ever so slightly. This had stopped, he had calmed down, and yet that last day, the day before he died, he walked in the door and this “shaking thing” was there again - it really is like a subtle oscillation, and I knew everything had been lost, that we were back at square one. I was so upset, I just stopped within myself, and said, that i had to calm down before I could take any action. Little did I understand the severity of this, as the next day he was gone.
So, it is the same with the system, a collective of individuals all existing in fear of survival, in fear of losing that which has been made into an absolute need to exist, which is a piece of paper as money, as what we sell ourselves for, in order to survive. Where when we have a place on the grid, anything that is perceived to be a threat to this, is shut out, ignored, pushed away, and new laws are placed to prevent loss, to suppress loss, to maintain the profit for the individual as the individual is who it is that does this, with prettysounding words of justification, and meanwhile the total structure is not looked at, only the cloud of self interest as survival, this fear, with a justifying voice of supposed goodness, these two the very separation from the common good, the “what is best for all.”
It is not that with some patience, what is here can be understood, it is that the fear is too great, the fear is the monster under the bed, the fear distorts reality to the point where the justification is made real, to hide the fear. Questions can be asked that interrupt this fear, but the tenacious, and these are usually the ones that have the highest salaries, simply become more reactive.
Asking a hierarchy of individuals, those divided into fear and happy face presentation, to change is like asking someone to give up their food and their shelter, especially within a system where money determines life. The ones who have abundant money, that benefit the most, they are going to have to give up power and all their possessions, of which they cannot possibly use at once.
This is why the structure of the system must change, as what exists creates fear, and thus does not work. cannot work, will never work, and asking this form to change itself, when it is composed of many not being able to see anything else, will, obviously not work. The blueprint of fear of loss and the action of self interest are too busy being held onto in desperation, as how fear acts. If you have ever taken a lifesaving course, and had to save someone from drowning,, that person will fight for their life, and is they are stronger than you, you must know how to turn that body around and lock the arms in such a way to suspend them from behind until they calm enough to start floating and thus breathing. I think I was sixteen, and I failed the first time, my instructor was bigger than me, and I did not understand how hard i had to fight. The people who have found a point in the grid of inequality, are not going to just give up their position of security, their life investment.
Rebellion and protest is just going to create more reactive behaviors, and the barricades we stand behind to protest will only be placed further and further away. And I understand that this has happened at the White House in Washington. The barricades are further away, and the army stand guard against its own people. The landscape is the people against the state, that is the picture, that is the reality.
The solution is to stand up and place a new system through a collective vote, as it is the people who have formed this system, and thus it is the people who must stand and change this. In a way, what is here on earth is a systemic public corporation, it is the cooperation of the collective as the human, as the “public”. It will take an “army” of the collective to realize a change, to actually walk, in detail the structure and form needed to end this drama of screaming mobs and protecting self defensive hierarchies who have managed to get the profit.
This reminds me of my local school district again. The superintendent is hired by the school committee ( this body representing the public “common good”) and this superintendent handles the money, which means this administrator can decide that he needs a raise and thus give himself one, which means that he can decide that he is doing a good job, and give himself a raise. THis actually happened here, during a supposed “override” the superintendent said the school needed money for the budget and asked the community to vote in more money for the schools, and then promptly gave himself as raise. And this, in the face of private salaries not growing over the last 15 years. That action of that superintendent, did it consider the community within this lack in other areas of the community, did that superintendent consider the stressed out parents of thechildren in the households of parents whose cost of living was increasing and salaries or profits were not? Does this person who represents the children, consider the children? As what he/she stand for? No they did not, they considered their own survival only, and not what was for the common good of the community.
So, those government administrators are not going to consider anything else but their own survival, and any questioning, is, as I said, just going to create a greater divide, a bigger distance. Which begs the question on another level, what is going to pay for the bodies standing in the “no man’s land zone? Your are, you the protestor, you the blamer, you the rebel. This is not the means to stop the abuse of inequality.
What exists as inequality, was built brick by brick by brick by humans, the generations of humans that have been here on this earth. Thus, it is the collective, in organization, that must stand and realize a systemic change, through networking and structuring and voting in a system that never allows what presently exists to happen again because it does not work. Unless the system takes care of life, absolutely, it is not a functioning system. And the one we have has been going on for so long, and it is not working, it keeps trying to force what it is to work, and naturally this is not working. It will never work.
And, since what is here has been created by generations of men, no one person can say that they did something all by themselves, because they did not. What is here has been built by many, and what has been built is not good or bad, it is simply how what has been built is being used, so, there is much here that is good, and this can be used to begin this journey towards becoming life here on earth, to ensuring that all that is here is cared for with absolute specificity as what is best for what is here.
Waiting for someone else to stand will not work, as self will and must forgive self as life here, I can forgive you, but this will not work, someone else forgiving me for myself will not work, eventually we will all have to realize that the only choice is to forgive one self to life, which means becoming one and equal to and as life. Thus must the illusion in and as this mind system of consciousness, of competition, comparison within a measure of seeking gain, seeking a more than someone else, this action within self as thoughtas the judging that it is, that when compounded becomes emotion and feeling bodies layered within creating dis-ease , which is the physical showing the extent of separation one has become from life in abdication of self as life. All ideas, beliefs and opinions must be looked at for what they are, are they a preference or are they used to compare within being more than something else, are they comforts that are simply habitual that need not really be an experience that define self here?
Obviously, usury does not work as a practice. It is presented as supportive but the outflow of this is really “taking from Peter to pay Paul” it is presenting “giving” but it is really and act of taking, ensuring the ownership of - eventually - everything to that level of competition and desire for more than, which is what greed is, to one person, or a few people. Usury is a system of control, it is not a system that allow self empowerment, self determination, self expression, self honesty with and as life, self responsibility in and as life, this equalizing of self to and as life, being a self realization experience of what life is in fact. I mean if life is what is here that supports everything, would not realizing this be the real ultimate value? The behaviors of earth at present are of conflict and friction, disease, and war, destruction of nature, this all a physical, visibly recognizable outflow of destruction, it is not taking care of this earth, it is not an act of being forgiving as life here.
The waters of this earth should be gentle, soft, clean, life giving, and they are not. They are heavily polluted, stormy, carrying toxins that are suffocating our oceans and our rivers. All of this is through the actions of men in self interested, self ignorant gain. Self ignorance is not being life. Consciousness is the manifestation of ignorance, as this is what separation is, and it exists as a less substantive form than life, in and as energy, and energy consists of poles of positive and negative, spectrums of a singular action in and as separation from what is substantive and this is the sound of life. Thus, self seeking positives, as what is driven as supposedly being positive within the consumerist presentation are limited, blown out of proportion distortions of reality, and this overblown value is in separation from life. This is why it must be understood that everything ( as the warped reality) will be lost should one walk the desteni process, and yet nothing will be lost, it will simply be brought back to life.
The living word is self in equality with life. It is self equal and one with and as life, simply being, ending the chasing of the addictions of energy based behaviors, that will never be satisfied as they are unequal to what is of substance.
The rewards are the end of fear. Is there really any other reason, especially for those of us that live in the west who have some level of stability - that by the way is not real stability- needed other than to remove fear from existence, is not this enough of a realization to stand and participate and build a system that realizes that all life is the value, and that there is no real life until all become self honest, self responsible, self directive, in and as life? Equal Money Capitalism is to make sense of this world, to bring this world back into common sense. The divisions of belief, opinion and idea, and the propagation of needs, wants and desires that are often partial truths coupled with layers of diversions, to avoid facing reality, and to maintain inequality, are the compounds of a just-I-see-loss/justice of loss as a protection and defense system wanting gain in absence of being practical here in common sense of this physical world. The answer, as the reward, is to realize in common sense what functions as what is best for all on this physical planet. The physical world flourishes with clean water, proper nutrients, stable environments. Taking in self interest creates instability when done within ignoring the physical world, and this is the condition of those continents abundant in resource, and indication that this is a system that is not working with life, that is acting in self interest in ignorance of practical consideration of what supports life, within the realization that life is the value.
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Let’s get this done, so that we as life can begin, to realize, see and understand that this world needs to be cleaned up to support the children yet to come, to resuscitate the soils, the waters, the animals and the plants, which is what life on earth is, thus everything that is here is of value, including yourself.

Day 293 Disgust Character Memory: Self Resistance

I have this memory coming up of my husband. He is propped up on the bed with his legs expended out straight. He is slowly rubbing his feet against one another. It was something he did when he sat and read or dealt with paper work on the bed in this way. I remember feeling disgusted by this, and even asking myself why I was having this reaction.
So I look at this as a projection, this “wave” as this emotion of disgust and I bring this back to myself. I slow myself down and I breath. And there it was, this was me, this had absolutely nothing to do with him, this is a piece of the “shell” of myself, within judging, that I have imposed on the reality around me, believing this to be “out there” when it is a movement as energy of my own volition. It is a “volume of separation” , distortion of reality, myself not facing myself. I am the one creating this state of being as “disgust” in the face of a reality that is simply being physical. I mean what the hell is wrong with rubbing one’s feet together? Animals rub against things all the time, even each other, they even lick themselves.
I looked at this “feeling” of disgust and it is how I feel about myself. It is myself disgusted with myself for not being in common sense here, with this physical world,it is myselffearing being common sense, as though being this, is something dirty and unwanted.
In another blog I wrote that asking others to look at something in common sense creates a reaction, as leaving the “text book/blueprint “ of the mind appears threatening, as this means letting go of what is actually causing the seeking, a perpetual state of seeking something, and spewing tons of data, as knowledge and information only, as though this is “the way to go”, which is like a “chicken running around with it’s head cut off”, so to speak, meaning, this is what one is actually doing, running around dead when common sense is not used.
I have to remember a scene with my father a couple of years ago, where I tried not to be the reactive behaviors I had been, and tried to talk with him instead, and what happened is that he looked at me and said , “ I don’t know how to stop what I do” and to see him be this was jarring to me, a woman at this point, as his daughter, to watch. I realized how frightened we all really are, how this has come to be so huge, we cannot see around it, or taking this on and walking through this, walking through this valley of the shadows of fear, is so seemingly “looming” there appears to be no way out. But there is a way out, it is to begin to “clean up the soot” of the fear and clear the waters of self of the separation into and as fear, this covered by and readable as moments of emotions and feelings, and thoughts, such as I have described above, this memory, laced with this emotion of disgust and an image from my past, where obviously I am not in common sense of here and am existing within some fantastic domain that is really about what i have acceptedand allowed in self judgement, knowing full well I have suppressed myself as life.
Why would two feet rubbing together cause a disturbance within me?
Was it the simple “sensing” nature of this? ( I wanted to say sensual but thought this would bring in a sexual element and this has nothing to do with this) Were those two feet rubbing together just simply what I was not allowing within myself as being myself as life, here? Like I am disgusted with this because it reminds me of what i am not using as what I am as life, sensing here, and to realize what i have created within my life in not allowing this? not being in touch with myself here? Has the physical touching the physical become something that generates disgust? Which in essence is saying that common sense is something dirty, and I react, as other react when common sense is applied or suggested as this means facing one’s separations, facing one’s “valley of shadows” that are one’s fears? Just as i looked and realized this disgust had nothing to do with my husband as this was ME, this was about ME, I was creating this, I was projecting this, this was me denying what i was allowing, and this event was the presence of what I resisted within and as my self, and so this persistent feeling of “disgust” as what I reject as the gift of life, is the answer to remove this separation, this shadow, what I am resisting persisting in and as mind, causing moments of emotions and feelings and judgmental thoughts that become a movie projection ontop of this reality. It is like a vortex/tunnel of sending a message outward where I am screaming ( silently) a “need/desire” and feeling physically a sinking feeling/movement and then not wanting to look at it and attaching it to the outer thing/image where if I were to actually stop and breath and listen to my chest it is really a longing to be myself as life, in common sense of myself as life, here. That is just one fucked up state of being, and obviously it is not living. And this is also systemic, because it has a series of movements/generations and thus, though not visibly/readily seeable, it can be “felt” if one simply takes the time and slow down and breathe.
So, I am going to look at this “disgust” as this is not walking in common sense, and it is absent of a directive capacity, and it indicates resistance, and what is resisted persists, as the separation into polarities of good and bad, as placing disgust onto the object and wanting to to “go away’ as though it is not me, is myself believing myself to be superior, as in “ not of this” projection that I believe is out there and not here, because I have been taught to follow such images as reality as mind, and really believe that such is not of myself. Such a thing would create so much inability to communicate on this earth, and this is exactly what is happening all over the world, a lack of communion with what is real, this physical substantive existence and how this physical functions. At present it is like mankind is doing the exact opposite of what is supportive of life. Sending flying shooting guns, as drones to depressed countries is NOT supportive of life, and there is absolutely no reasoning to substantiate this. Shooting things does not clean water, it does not grow food, it does not physically practically rebuild homes and take care of soils and animals, in no way shape or form is this an action of support and it is a waste of resource. It is about money and nothing else, it is money in self interest without consideration of life, it is a state of separation and thus, disease and it needs to be voted out and stopped ASAP. And we are all responsible. So, look at your limited reasoning and your projections and get your head out of the clouds. Flying shooting drones is not life, and yet, is clearly indicates that the technology is here to create world where all needs as life can be met. And I am sure there are inventors out there, that are disgusted with what has been developed to support abuse and destruction, when the intent was to create a world that supported life. Here one only need look to water purification systems that would alleviate the effects of dirty water in purposely left/disallowed undeveloped countries on continents that are abundant in resource.
The con-sequence of con-tradictions are to obvious to deny any longer.
So, if you experience a projection of disgust, know it is you, as what you have accepted and allowed, and it will persist the more you resist, the more you project it outward. And what it is, is you longing for yourself as life, longing for a return of your self as life to a common sense, one and equal, to and as life.

To be continued.

Day 251 Thoughts within Self abdication Care actor

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must give attention to the present structure of society within care for one human being more than another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being a mother is how I must present myself where my attentions are on taking care of a house, and mychildren only, and within this what is happening in the world, as in understanding the structures of this world as the monetary system and how this effects what is presented within the health system, and the education system are not of my concern, not seeing realizing and understanding that the very existent structures within this world will determine the outcomes of my children and my home, thus within and as caring for what is within my immediate environment is determined by the very structures of what man has built.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in all common sense to have a thought that I am a mother only, or a widow only and within this to believe that my concerns within my role abdicate any responsibility within investigation into and as how this world functions as systems, is myself accepting limitations with and as myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in thinking only about my immediate concerns without understanding what man has created and investigating the total ways and means the present system functions, what directive capacity really exists within and as me?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize what my thoughts are attentions to.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I look to my thoughts and try to understand the totality of this system, by investigating how money moves in this world, how investing works, how usury works, where money is spent within the government budget, why there are people who do not have a roof over their head, instead of making judgements based on the cultural beliefs in which I live, within religion and spirituality, within class and nationality, all of this in tandem within how money moves and distributes life supporting resources, how these resources are processed, to see, realize and understand what is in fact here as a movement of what is here, where as I investigate I will begin to see that many of the ways things are organized on this earth are not what is best for all, and that there is no common sense within and as this.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and to see, how my thoughts are all within limited attentions, and should I begin to investigate, I will find it difficult to take in some of the forms of the existent structures, which is something to be curious about in and as itself, because I am life, and thus why would it be that I cannot grasp life, here with ease, especially since children can learn so quickly?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I am wanting to save someone or something, this in itself indicates that life is not being supported on this planet, as when there is ease, things move smoothly and this is not what exists on this earth.
I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding, through standing back and realizing how my thoughts are products of a system that supports inequality, thus myself in separation from understanding what is here as life, where I would be able to understand how separate i have become from life, simply by going and doing some manual task that I have never ever attempted before, like building some steps - for instance- it would mean I would have to slow down and use my common sense, to slowly walk through what needs to be done, but instead I would stop and think “ this is a man’s job” or “ I cannot handle a circular saw” or “ I can’t see and understand the simple zigzag shape of a board cut out to fit steps, when this shape and this saw and this step are simple fucking shapes and if I can’t LOOK and understand this then it is obvious that how I exist and what I allow has become extremely limited, and within this realize this is the mind as consciousness accepting limited beliefs based on social dictates accepted and allowed without common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I meet someone from what is labeled as a “lower level of society” to realize that, just as I might not be able to walk through the steps of building a set of steps, such humans have never walked through within self direction within specific understanding and realization of what it means to take care of self, a state of ease and self direction has never existed for them, which means the present systems are not in fact taking care of life on this earth, as in not developing common sense, and if anything, such present systems are dependent on lack of common sense behaviors as they have been built around them, and even here, the same behaviors of what is essentially an inability to see, in common sense -what is physically here as life and how it functions - supports the outflows of non-seeing and does not look at the cause of lack, the cause of an inability to move self effectively in and as what self is which is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what i have been taught within class and culture is how to avoid such scenarios, where people have lesser ability to direct themselves as life, as their attentions are disturbed through a desperate attempt at survival, where the question needs to be asked, what came first the chicken or the egg?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that playing the savior in a bubble, without realizing the totality of the system as its very structure is what needs to change, is futile and will just create a feel good moment, like a hallmark moment, which is just a feeling and obviously such hallmark moments are sold as cards, and have been going on for a long time, even down to the commercials talking about the “oh so good” efforts of this charity or than charity, where I watch this on a tube and feel good for a moment, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is entertainment, within and as a energetic feeling, and this is all it is, thus it has no real value, as it does nothing to change this world in such a way that such presentations of “ we are so good and doing so much” need not exist.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that my thoughts, as consciousness, are of limited value, as they actually justify suffering, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that suffering in any form is not and cannot be life, as suffering is suffering and not self directing self, with ease, in and as life here, thus is it my responsibility in and as life, to investigate this present system that is a creation of men, to understand what I allow to exist in and as thoughts as consciousness of attention on objectification of compound ideals only, without consideration of what is equal and one as what is here , as the physical, which is the substance of life.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that unless a system exists that allows life to support itself as life, to develop itself as life, what exists is denial of life, and the outflow of this is suffering, which is not life, as suffering is suffering and not life expressing itself as life, here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when I have a difficult time seeing what is here in common sense, as believing I cannot understand the monetary system - for example- where i might believe “ it is too difficult and complicated” I must stop, breath and slow myself down to walk in specificity the structure of the system, to see, realize and understand what this structure consists of and what it allows within its movement, and that there is no excuse as to why this cannot be done, which begs the question as to what the thought of this is in fact, and to realize this is an accepted an allowed limitation as a belief taught should I return to what i learned within and as belief from parents, society, and education, by others limited in thought, word and deed as the behaviors of belief accepted and allowed that are really judgements as avoiding looking at what exists as what is created by men on this earth, where the resources can only create a value that sustains life through the use of many many hands of men, and thus no one man has developed what is here, and to place such development into a figure as one man, is to create an illusion that does not in common sense look at the totality of how this physical world works in fact, as well, where it can be clearly seen that a thought of “ So and so, having been a great man who built America” for example, holds no common sense of this physical existence, as one man only has two hands and cannot build what is presently in America, as one man cannot live that long, thus the presentation of a story about one man having built America means that in common sense this is about the control of money that one man had, and since money has become god, the man with the control of the money is the idol created in having taken the values created with life sustaining resources and gathered this in having placed this value into/onto a piece of paper and then gathered as much of this as possible and distributed this to direct the hands of men in his own aggrandizement and self interest without consideration for life, where life is the value, and not the imaginary and illusive value placed on one object, as one man being some kind of creator, as what is here was created by the hands of all men.
I commit myself to realizing how illusory the stories behind presented idols are in fact and that such stories , as what is taught within family, education, society, withhold common sense of this physical world and how this functions, where the starting point of all of this is one and the same, each and every human being, fearing to be self responsible as life in common sense, where the present system is simply a reflection of self abdicating self as life, consciousness, as thoughts, emotions and feelings simply a un-substantive/energetic product of this separation from self direction within each and every one of us, consciousness, a collection of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, based on false idols, as values limited of the specific real eyesing of how this physical world in fact functions, where stories on “ one man nation builders” is an example of a thought of no common sense within the practical aspects of this actual physical world.

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