DAY 855 Working on opening the chest of potential as movement within living words.

Here again today I am aware of this “ thickness” in my chest area. This week, in moments of calm, I noticed how distracting thinking is and does? How the movement of the body is more able to respond within realizing solutions - especially within uncovering and connecting within more universal truths, or early acknowledged problems. One is more vulnerable in such a state and sees beyond politically projected belief systems. 

I realize in some respects that finding a point of vulnerability is in itself a greater willingness to face and resolve problems. I can see where going into or forming things in such a way that another is in a more vulnerable state of something I greatly feared - as though such a thing is a taboo. Yet, it is where one is softer, more pliable and therefore more able to LOOK. Allowing vulnerability is opening up changeability- that state of focus the very means of change. I find myself wanting to “ hold” this yet that is the same that leads to a loss of that of which I am speaking. 

It also almost feels like waking up to allow real feeling, and that such that appears to be a place to not go to, is the very same means to open up and remember joy, to re-member PLAY. This also feels unbelievable, or something suppressed. It reminds me of realizing that fear is an illusion. Like there was something there all along that was really a nothing - leaving a sort of neutral shock in its place. It is to  say that chaos blinded simplicity.  Is this a self catching a running train of protections that once realized have no substance? Is this why this appears to be something of such slight difference? In contrast it reveals projections that imbalance the body being the thin-king that they exist within and as? 

There is also a sense that I remember having while walking down a Zurich street back in 1998-1999 of and as “ everything is going to be okay.”  It is to say that discovery is gentle and is absent of an excitatory bling. It is to say a power-vortex has no real power. Somehow, the difference is not YET as clear as it might be but this may be the contrast of having lived in separation.  It is like coming home is great because it has no fanfare. One is simply in grace and that is the real power. Letting go and letting be without apprehension. 

I also sense that I am in a space where a conditioned bounce back wants to happen. There is this constant drive into tension within my chest area. I have been here before. It must be named more clearly, the directions moved as, expressed as able to face the unknown and as the same time have no worry in doing so, or laughing at falling down, much like a child learning to walk. Habits are programming, and programming was practiced and built/accepted/allowed. It is running on automatic - much like our present administrative and government systems. Perhaps those working on change do not realize the extent to which programming is blind to itself. Asking that to stand up and self realize, especially when money determines life is like talking to a huge resonant wall. One must stand equal to it. And one must stand with authority, which has a manner that is sound and stable. It can be heard through the storm - which means it must be said more than three times and consistently, like the 21 day rule for changing a habit.  lol, were school units usually of a duration of three weeks? The system uses the known to program limited and compartmentalized thin-king.  It creates a state of selective reasoning. It becomes a “ state of being.” We do have many talking about the deep state, or statism. How about becoming earthism? which is heartism? They are the same letters. Divide and conquer is done through an ever-so-slight pulling of information threads. It is why the “ veil” is considered to be thin. lol

And this is what it feels like in the body, in my chest, like there are threads pulling my shoulders forward slightly causing a form of a concave chest area. There’s also some pressure around my head, like a cap - lol a caption. Like I said the difference is slight and composed of symbols.  As some have said, we will know them by their symbols. I remember while being in a classroom and this one student staring into space was looking at a screen of subtle neon-like lights. I shut down and walked away. I had no idea how to deal with this at that time- the point here was that it was a bunch of symbols and figures moving around on a projected screen. I mean, what does it mean to sense real movement? Or to model real movement? That question came up so I wrote it out! 

What does it mean to walk with authority, the kind that opens doors without a need for recognition? This makes me want to cry, as a sense of having lost a joy. Like, if I walk in joy, I will be shut down, as it is not allowed.  The sense of wanting to cry being more a loss of this than  and an apology for having given up in some way, or an apology to myself …., and my husband. Deep down it is more that I must forgive myself- that it is okay, that everything is going to be alright. I can walk in joy, I can stop the bounce back into protection or rather “ not upsetting the status quo of separation.” It means to let be and to let go and to recognize running from and running to as being separate from a natural capacity to be present and process what is here. it is okay to be grounded, it is okay to be in recognition of potential and that which is separate from potential.  It is okay to NOT participate in the illusion of bling. It is okay to upset webs without causing harm. Reactions are okay, like the famous “ forgive them for they know not what they do,” or “ care but not that much.” It is okay to LOOK. It is okay to stand using natural senses, as this is necessary to sense the outlines of separate divisions that are of limitation. It is okay to be present and sense this living space.

It is like standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down again and again and again, and feeling so tired within doing this. Also, a bit like there is no other place to go but to stand up and fall down as long as it takes. That in itself becomes a belief, limiting focus of the greater whole. This is creating this warm falling sensation in my chest, a warmth of and as it is okay, embrace this and stop seeing ONLY this habit of and as a belief in standing up and falling down, again and again. It is NOT overwhelming to realize this and sense beyond it. In contrast, there is a constant that has a nurturing quality to it, and that is greater than the excitatory sense of having won something. It is like a deep nurturing characteristic of the feminine is absent, that same movement that can simply say sit and the dog will sit.   There is “ here.”  Nothing can define this unless by allowance, here is constant. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel tired in relation to expressing myself in relation to what exists around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that things are impossible, which in itself is a distraction within and as focusing here, in the practical in the physical reality that is life in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being is a series of standing up and falling down ONLY.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live this movement that is in reality a form of self pity, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that living in joy, within and as processing the information around me, as that which is limited and of separation from life and that which is here in plain sight as the practical living reality that is physical is not allowed - lol, “ allowed” sound like “ hollowed.” 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that death is actually possible, as things are forms and functions, expressions and movements, and though yes, this physical form that  is me, changes, what is real as life, remains, as that is potential of and as creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself onto thinking only.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to participate within and as what is a false power vortex, as a state of separation from the living reality into and as a limited set body of symbols/ideologies/resonant constructs/imaginations/fantasies/addictions/beliefs etc.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel here, to remember here, to respect all things as the physical reality, as this earth, and all that composes this physical living reality called earth

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the depth to which resources of the earth are mis-used to feed an ideological resonant storm of selective reasoning, serving a few, without regard for life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the extent to which the present system and the technology manifesting that system are a reflection of what humans have accepted and allowed within and as them, here, where the present economic system abuses freely given resources to feed a very limited storied construction lacking recognition of consequences and as such allows an outflow of great instability, causing the friction of polarization manifest as a projection separate from practical living physical reality, here that is lacking in substance and of which consumes the flesh.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up with specificity about how a Mind Consciousness System is a mind in division of and as resonant constructions layered into the conscious, subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind, quantum physical mind and the physical mind and the beingness programming, which makes sense because what we allow to express us would layer, as we suppress that which is out of sync with this living physical reality, causing blindness as suppression of real sentience, of real seeing here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop suppressing real seeing, within and as recognizing my own behaviors of and as a scattered selective reasoning of limited values, that create energy instead of real livings s being focused and in respect of all things here. 

When and as I find myself becoming tense, becoming tension, of which I slow down and cross reference, with every breath, to read what is here, as the words, to stabilize the words, and model recognition of life, within and as behaviors of grounding myself here, manifest as defining the space, and realizing what balances and lends a self direction of discovery of what has been suppressed through scattered selective reasoning that is heaviness causing and polarizing gaslighting the space here, all an illusion and what may be directed into recognition to then discover a natural ability to be present and to lead to birthing life into the physical, here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense, within and a s my body and my breathing I stop and I slow down, and I assess my own patterns of selective reasoning as value judgements causing a selective reasoning and focus, and I stop as I embrace my own acceptances and allowances and practice redirecting my focus as I call out by name my own characters, and then to assess what is around me, to bring forward actions that balance out inflammatory behavior running on empty, to ground and stabilize in a moment to then calm the immediate space to them realize potential which often is small, as our potential lacks specificity and structure to express itself and be of giving in an expression of and absolute purpose, to stand one and equal to creation here, to build a life on earth that lives the nature of life of and as absolute purpose which by nature, as I see it in this moment, of and as eternal nurturing where a moment of falling down is fun because it means one is closer to understanding how to move as life here. 

When and as I find myself moving into a persona, one that is deep, from that past, of and as “ I am so tired of standing up and falling down,” I stop and I breath, and I realize this belief as a persona, and I stop and I feel my feet on the ground and I look at how I am handling myself here, and how I am focusing my body, from habit, and I breath and I assess and move towards balance, within and as what lends self discovery and that which opens dwors/as movements as words, that bring awareness of all things here as best I can as though all things are me in another life. 

Day 854 A power vortex. I am physically leaning forward ever so slightly. A fear of upsetting the illusive status quo.

I notice a point of victimhood where a very subtle energy appears like a very gently accumulating fog. It is as the word suggests moments of small actions that are of fear, obligation and quilt. Fear is really a lack of of understanding.

Sometimes one has to speak against an emotional pattern coming forward, even if it is not politically correct.  The other day I was speaking with some people and was distracted within worrying about how to say something. That in itself means that I am worried about pushing the “ wrong “ buttons, despite the fact that emotional value judgements are a state of confusion as they are a state of separation and an absence of investigation, or not having enough information.  Or, one could say, not enough focus on the practical reality as this physical existence that at the moment is entrenched in personalities. If one is busy projecting a personality, as a time line of value judgements as justifications for the choices of self interest one makes, then within that there will be shame and guilt and some spite in relation to the difference between being real and projecting a personality.

This was something like what I found myself within, fearing to upset some hyper inflated status quo narrative - which in itself as what I allowed -  blocked what I have experienced so many times, an opportunity for a moment of insight. One has to let things go in order to change order! Seems contradictory but it is not! 

On the world stage this often happens. That there is something called the silent majority means that many sense something is not where to go and yet are stagnant in taking a direction. This is something that is used by the present system. I mean, poverty is by design. Schools are a dumbing down structure, one that can sound good to someone already at a loss of effective critical and creative thinking skills. That we have the monetary system we have, and that we pollute so much of this earth for an “ economy” is already a disorder that is a lack of respect for all things, for taking the good and ensuring no harm, as that movement of consideration and respect for life is that which recognizes fundamental human rights. Fundamental human rights are a lot like taking care of a house plant. When certain things are not met, that house plant dies. It is in a physical state of expression. Having a “ heaven” and an “earth” is already a division which causes a separation. Remember, justification is complicated. Creation is complex, with that complexion being something that shines and is fecund with a creative spirit. Complex things are sustainable because they are in a state of homeostasis, they are not in conflict with one another, they are whorling together realizing that the differences are as important as the similarities. Something the system will do is accentuate the differences at the expense of the similarities, thereby causing conflict to then grab resources. What we have is resource war, and your programming is a part of that war. 

Then there is the physical aspect of this self suppression within and as me, as what I accept and allow. I notice this week within this point of having pressure within my chest, that I lean forward ever so slightly. I have caught this in the last couple of days as I have worked on naming this self generated construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are wants, needs and desires. All based on my environment. All based on traditions from existential early environments that accumulated into traditions that became habits that are rituals to hold onto a past that is not what is here in the moment. And, these traditional rituals that are from past ecologies are a means of compartmentalizing one’s focus at the expense of respecting the physical landscape and working  directly with it. 

This ever so slight accumulating “ fog” is in this moment more of a fear - as I see it. The leading forward part has a sense of being in a burden, like I am attempting to answer too many threads at the same time without upsetting the “ spider” sitting on them. lol, that analogy just popped up! I have to ask myself what that spider really wants. That spider wants what we all want; to live a life! At the moment, so much of existence is in survival mode because of a mis-use of resources. In effect, we consume physical things to sustain our bodies. We are not in sync with creation, we are moving against it, as am I if I use knowledge and information, as ideas, beliefs and opinions to determine my actions instead of being present. And, in a way, all resistance is a form of self hate because we know that difference, we understand that something is out of balance and that harm is not a real solution. 

It is like there is a vacuum from my heart into my head.I selectively take in things in at the expense of looking here. That vacuous movement causes an ever so slight leaning forward. And, this is why things are written out, because as one writes things out one names the game, it simply comes up. Within me I am like FUCK! Changing the direction of this is to deconstruct it and then refocus or rebuild the words within and as me creating this personified whorled world of words. 

In a way this vacuum living in each human moves around the earth sucking up the resources without regeneration and respect, allowing it  to be filtered into an economic system that believes itself too big to fail, while in plain sight the weather patterns are changing because the earth is attempting to find some balance. It is ,just as within myself NOT a sustainable model. What exists as our current government reflects what is accepted and allowed by a collective of individuals, it is a power VORTEX! We are allowing our “ selves” as life to be swept up into a resonant and unsustainable false “ power vortex.” Interesting how what I sense today within me, as my heart/chest area mirrors the overall movement of the present system. And it would cause an ever-so-slight lean/liening forward disrupting a FOCUS on a consideration of all things, respecting all things to ensure NO HARM. As within, so without, as above, so below. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cling to knowledge and information as a means of propping myself up here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to focus here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am a victim of personalities as limited beliefs, ideas and opinions that are here, superimposed on this earth as a consequence of a belief that what is within as experience is larger than what is without and all around as who and what we are here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand how much I am “ falling down”within and as myself to live a lie that is a state of separation from consideration of all things here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up and looking at what is here, and to instead move into protection and self defense within and as hesitating when meeting a politically correct dialogue as suggested though repetition via a huge advertising system run by what could be called vacuum of self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being hurt, or fear being in pain, when hurt is in this context simply myself in a way…. believing that I am being pushed away or rejected when in effect it is a rejection based on the expense of a refusal to respect all things and take that which does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself within this to not see realize and understand that the way I wrote that in itself though a recognition at the some time a lack of presence within a movement, this within this I commit myself to read this movement over all, within and as a physical context to begin to sense the difference within and as being present rather than in reaction to limitation that is in a way, overall, a form creation that in itself is an attempt to answer to where we as humanity are at in the moment here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize there is one choice within and as opening up my heart and being present here, to live in thought, word and deed that which realizes differences and similarities at the same time as this is a living definition of life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be grateful for this body, that is actually showing me to myself here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the extent to which the body is a tool where it is a means to maintain a homeostasis within and as a focus as the balance within and as all parts of this body composed of so many states of being here to live and be life it is astounding the lack of respect we give to our bodies which is reflected in the present system that exists through participation by a collective and as such the fault of no single one but of the greater whole of humanity.

When and as I find myself leaning forward ever so slightly I stop and I breath and I walk into a clear recognition of this as what I have accepted and allowed within and as me in this life here.

When and as I find myself considering being politically correct, within a limited narrative, within a suppression and lack of respect for self as life, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that hurt within and as what it is that is suppressing the natural expression of the physical as the life in each and everyone that is here in plain sight, as the real potential of life that cannot be destroyed as it is always here. 

When and as I find myself as my body, as my chest area becoming heavy I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I sense the subtle movements that accumulate into a fog within and as moving into thinking as knowledge and information, and I assess and forgive and realize within and as lending discovery within and as what is desired by all, as allowing the potential of each and every unique living form to self realize what is best for all, which is here in plain sight as this earth and all things that compose this earth here.

When and as I find myself leaning forward every so slightly, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I let go and let be to comprehend what is here in the moment as myself and as my acceptances and allowances to realize an accepted order, or focus as my physical body, and to begin to realize movements that align into self discovery and self realization within and as what is the only choice, which is to stand equal and one to what is best for all, visible as this physical existence here.

When and as I find myself moving into resistances as shutting myself down to hide behind a shield of knowledge and information, I stop and I breath, and I allow insight into what is presence without a fear of loss, or a fear of reprimand, and I stand as I have faced reactions within and as justifications with calm and with patience and as such, am able to realize moving parts in a moment, just as I have realized this subtle movement of and as leaning slightly forward, to mirror an awareness of that which can withstand the test of time, and as such becomes a beacon of stability, a voice of constancy to bring forward that which is best for all, this movement  in itself requiring no recognition because the joy is in being focused and present, in respect of all things, which is a state that is the absence of restriction within the physical body which in itself is visible and has always been, it is simply repressed.

Day 853 An overuse of the imagination, a sense of loss and giving myself permission to be simple

I have noticed lately some back chat and imaginations increasing within myself. It is a movement where I suddenly find myself IN-volved in an inner imaginative playout of .. mostly working with what I perceive within myself as “ injustice” like situations. I have recognized this more rapidly and simply stopped. I can remember when I first started this process how difficult it appeared to be to stop such “ worm-hole” like DISTRACTIONS from focusing all of me, as the life that is me here, to living here, in this moment, equal to a consideration of all things, this place where I can realize that there are no problems and ONLY solutions. 

I stand back and look at the overall emotional tenure of what is existing within me as a resonant construction. I notice lately two things, and these have to do with consequential changes in my life. One is that my children are basically a much smaller part of my life, and hence a sense of being alone. Another, is some friction within expectations in relation to what I bring forward into this reality. Within this I realize that what I share is basically a very very simple thing that can have a huge impact in a person’s life. The conflict is the difference between an over-use of my imagination and the contrast of realizing the simplicity of something and relating that to its impact in allowing another to process and recognize what they are realizing and living within them selves and the greater reality around them as this physical existence. It is to say that I continue to polarize values and that itself is a distraction from realizing the simple being a means to correct that very thing I find myself once again being caught within. Another way to say this is a sense that being simple is somehow not allowed. I have to give myself permission to realize an old adage that “ if someone cannot explain something to a child, then one does not really know that of which they speak! 

It is in allowing the simple that I find I am more able to play and be patient and direct with greater effect. This, overall, a contradiction to beliefs that something must involve pain to grow, or that realizing solutions involves fighting for something, when in effect it is the opposite. I mean, the statement that realizes if someone cannot explain something to a third grader, for example, means that they really do not know that of which they speak, is an equation that reveals that real solutions are actually simple. If we contrast that to our present hyper-emotional and polarized doom and gloom generating media, we might just realize the difference and find our way back to our own innocence! 

It is as though being emotional is “ not having enough information,” and that being emotional is being in a polarized alternate imaginary inner resonant storm that is a storm in a tea-cup that has been “

 normalized” when within well known adages, the opposite of what is promulgated as normal is that which is abnormal! This would be difficult to process conceptually is one is running in an inner energetic storm of good and bad, right and wrong, less than and more than. Remember, we humans are happy when we are doing and unhappy when we are not. Doing, involves being focused on the practical. That means realizing each simple step by step movement that actually gets things done. That moves with a greater ease as the nature of real doing involves a focus that lacks distraction and tension. 

Everything is a math, even a system of distraction. Overall, nothing can define who and what we are but by acceptance and allowance. That is a huge gift in itself. 

Thus, back to myself, I realize that I am feeling, and as such distracted from being present, that I am suddenly more alone. And two, that this over-blown  imagination and state of value judgement which is a fear, is limiting a sense of realizing the simple in another area of my life. And, within that, that I give myself permission to realize the simple, which by extension opens up a realization that I am able to have fun within what I do because in effect, it is something that can be explained to a child. And, within that, I have explained this to many children and they tend to get it right away! 

The difference is like using a sextant on a ship. When one practices a correct and careful word recognition ability, one’s sextant use will more than likely bring them into a port of their choice, whereas an incorrect inner GPS building will lead their course way off of the port their choice! 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as me, as my beingness, as a belief that I am alone.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am suddenly alone as my children have become independent of me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself, as my beingness, to see realize and understand that I am the life that is here as this earth, a life that is a creation that is physical in form and function revealing itself as creation manifest, evident in a system that is constructed and allowed by all of mankind, within and as the development of religions that distract from being in consideration of all things, and of behaviors such as my own, of living in a resonant storm of charged beliefs of a more than and a less than, this in itself a distraction from being focused and in consideration of all things, as being in regard of all things here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as life, situations grow and change, morph and move into different forms of interaction and communication, and as such, within and as my own life, at the moment, I am moving into a situation where I have time and space to consider what I like, what perspectives and insights as the life of me, can be and share and develop which is a gift in and of itself here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am always, in all ways, all one here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to believe that things must be complicated when in fact, solutions are by nature usually the next simple step, and that the accumulation of simple steps leads to being able to process more complex forms, which is a simple and really cool ways and means to and towards self improvement and development.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be and come to an overuse of my imagination, within and as allowing “ righteous” and justice seeking payouts within and as my imagination, which are really a reflection of an inner fear, where in this moment i see a relationship within this to and towards a fear of being left out, and a fear of ineffective communication where I have these inner imaginative play-outs spinning in a desire to blame and spite resistances I imagine will automatically exist within and as my immediate environment, when in effect, I have walked and faced many such resistances, and brought common sense into the picture thus my own fears and reactions as such fears within myself are simply an absence of living in thought, word and deed that which is simple and most often fun and playful in relation to understanding how this physical state of being actually works.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my inner focus as a distraction of and as fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be distracted within and as worrying and imagining worst case scenarios in separation from myself as life, as my beingness, being focused here, realizing the simple and having fun and being playful within and as that, to realize in thought, word and deed that which is in consideration of all things to regard with awe, the magnificence of creation that is life as this physical expression of form and function that us earth here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as an idea of what is right and an expectation of what is right being accepted, when in effect, this is a focus of distraction instead of remaining here, breathing, slowing down and playing with focus, as the physical body in its expression here, when this is visible and can be felt, where what is really huge is the physical creation of life that is here in all ways always, as this is in plain sight here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself as my beingness to see, realize and understand that I am life and that as this life, I determine the physical state of this life within and as the very fabric of my physical body, in and as the very focus of me here, where tensions and frictions within and as my body, reveal my acceptances and allowances, played out within my over-used imagination, that is something I as the life that is me, can direct, and as such I give myself permission to life being present and focused here, to realize the simple and to have fun as inherent in being focused and present is real discovery and the living of solutions that are what is best for all, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to focus myself within a narrow field of charged value judgements and as such to live within a survival suit as a belief instead of remaining focused and in respect of this living breathing creation that is physical, and here in plain sight.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist and suppress seeing the mind, a mind as an overuse of the imagination, that has not real constancy and sustainability, and therefor has a nature of being intense and insistent and then suddenly ending, where in my state of resisting and running from this and being in my own gloom and doom fear mode, not seeing realizing and understanding the patterns within and as the nature of this, to the extent I can able to stand equal to such states-of-separation realizing that nothing can define me,  but what I accept and allow, and as such am able to realize patterns and process form and function and movement, to define and realize the space and then to play and reform and ground in ways that allow self discovery as within this, there need be no self validation as the real value is realizingin thought, word and deed,  that which beings insight into who and what we really are as creation that is expressed in physical form, to realize the only choice is to exist within and as heaven on earth here, where all life is considered and respected as being the real value here. 

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding how my physical body, to a greater extent, is gifting me as life the means to understand this reality as that being who and what I am here, as I am life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become engrossed in a resonant bubble of information, and instead of being focused here, realizing that nothing can define who and what i am, and yet as that I am able to stand equal and one with what is here for a moment without fear to process what consider and REFLECT consideration of all things as the who and what I am here, as I am life which is physical and in plain sight - the opposite of an overuse of the imagination that causes a separation from a practice of cross referencing all things as life, as the physical as this earth, here.

I commit myself to allowing and accepting myself, as my beingness, to focus here, to realize nothing can define me but who and what i am as life, which is physical, and here in plain sight, that what is constant and consistent is eternal, and grounded and sound.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that just as my imagination is changeable, and protean-like, so is the ability of myself as the heart of me, able to define terms for a moment and consider all things, regard all things and process a lack of information, with care and reflection in ways that build in a process of sharing what has a more eternal quality and is of equal consideration of all things here.

I commit myself to Slowing down and breathing, and realizing the small movements into an overuse of the imagination and myself existing within and as an idea of fear of loss and fear of standing equal and one to the simple to realize that the simple can be brought forward in thought, word and deed in every moment here, as life is always in all ways in plain sight here, as this earth in form and function.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and standing as that which grounds one’s focus into and as the innate ability of the life that is in each and everyone, to come forward and live in joy of the awe of creation that is always, in all ways in plain  sight here. 

Day 852 Spells and Deception. What are career politicians?

I have experienced these “ information” shifts while speaking and connecting with others. I realize I continue to have fears around this. I notice it when I realize I am in a different point than I was previously and yet I can’t remember the shift. This is most likely because, like the dog, it is a deeply habituated movement. One that I suppressed over time. I realize it is, at the end of the day, a conceptual movement. I am in separation from what is here as the physical, that which is practical. 

I actually feel that it is something like … “ one is not supposed to do that.” “ It is not polite” to acknowledge and expose one’s own personal deception.” DE- ception: the action of deceiving someone - “ from to take.”  A lie-by-omission is a form of “ from to take.”  Meaning, to take something from someone, to take awareness away from - a form of artifice. To take presence from someone, to catch them in a spell, or maintain limitation. A spell that should one see the boundaries of, the spell would have no power. Is it possible that one could be considered “ difficult” if one remains out side of the bubble of the spell ? Like remaining outside of a cathedral ages ago because one realized it was a box of information, like an iPhone, of control, or count rolling, or a thing of measure of limited story, as sequences of events, excited with bright colors and music? I mean what is the difference? There is no difference. One is simply moving at a different pace and sequence!  

The word “ conception “ would mean “with- take.”  The “ con” being an intensifying word, meaning to “ take” in, as to become one with. The prefix “ con” intensifying the root of the word as “ caption.”  Suffixes and prefixes can morph words to intensify their meaning.  So many of our words are related to personalities and likes and dislikes which are all relative to one’s resonant emotional/feeling body, or past experience being projected into the future, that being based on unresolved imbalances one could say are heavily charged with value judgements. That behavioral box that is really no different than a dog being taught to greet the owner with great excitement - that excitement that at times is not wanted, and the dog becomes the problem when the problem was how the human programmed the dog. And the realization that punishment is never an answer because punishment is not solving the problem. It would appear that living in a resonant bubble of likes and dislikes would project the problems outside of itself and onto the surrounding objects. What a waste of potential. 

lol, It is almost as though I wrote out a rant here, about the deception of personal spell casting. Those generated fields of energy around a body. That which becomes visible if one watched a horse whisperer, or a dog whisperer. Some may react as though such a skill is a “ god given talent’ when it is not. It is more common sense in action. Projecting that skill/presence as a “ thing” outside of one’s self, will indicate the degree of separation from real  sound and stable conceptual ability in a person.

Given that normalized deception has been generated for eons, speaking up to such deception will generate reactions! Yet, that is opportunity. Avoiding such is more the same that caused this problem. It is like what Christ said, “ forgive them for they know not what they do.”  That “ forgiveness” does not mean an end game of acceptance only, meaning to realize the limiting and narrow conceptual projections of belief and opinions, but to then follow through and problem solve. Meaning to begin to move outside of that resonant storm to become one’s authority as life, here. It means to disperse the illusions. It means to demystify all of this.

So, I was in this situation where I suddenly recognized that I had been somewhere else, and was in a different space. I cannot remember the switch. I do remember suddenly pulling back. It was so quick. It is like this tiny fragment as a movement. 

This in itself is tied to what it really means to define a word. Meaning, to define words in such a way that the word has an eternal quality to it. It has a steadiness that is myself standing as a “ spell” that is not a “spell” in the sense of deception. It means to stand in such a way, that like a dog whisperer, to with all of me, lend a reflection of a state that allows self-discovery,  or insight into what is real, as the physical creation. If we lived here, on this earth, within the principle of what is best for all, meaning to take the good and do no harm, to give as we would receive, which means to ensure the fundamental basic needs of a human “ plant” we would build a world where our real potential as creators would come forward. We would recognize our own bubbles of illusion and stand here, with creation, which is physical - that one thing we are so impulsed to demonize. This that we as a collective have created and built into a system, which we can deconstruct and reconstruct to build a world that is best for all. 

Day 851 The patterns of misinformation are visible. What is an emotional fire wall?

In moments in interacting with others and having cross referenced my own motivations, I find that I continue to fear addressing an emotional fire-wall, despite the fact that I have moved through such many times before. It means pulling on strings of belief, it means allowing such beliefs to define me for moment and begin to sort them out in realtime, as though I am a living process in physical space of what is here. A huge fear in facing this, that is the past. In bringing things forward and defining them, one can then relate them to the greater whole. That tends to minimize hypnotic polarized beliefs. After all, we have “ owners” of resources whose means are to thwart attention. We see it every day as the media which comes to reflect our own states of being. What is being scattered and distraught, anxious and uncertain but a loss of self as life? That life that when calm is very good at recognizing patterns. How does one shut that down but with a constant and continuous banter of hyper polarized and thus scattered descriptions about parts of things? Singular, reductionist small points on a bell curve without teaching one to see the continuum? Like someone said the other day, why are our children not taught about a mortgage? Most probably because a child would realize that a loan with interest  in itself denies that in taking out a loan and building a house to have a point from which to create and live, to give value and care for reality, why would one have to pay back more when the more is the stability and creation? This which is the real value? I mean, would we have the consumerist society we have if we ended usury and valued creation? A tree brings massive value to life, and yet it does not pay to live, it simply gives. In fact it gives with every cell of its body. 

Being scattered and hyperbolized into value judgements of right and wrong, more than and less than, good and evil, remains as a fear of something being able to define me, despite having an experience where I realized that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow. This was a dialogue within me before Is started this process. It was spread out, and though I was aware of it, moving beyond some line within this was something I had to live. And, within this, asking questions such as “why does everyone appear to be losing a spatial sense?” That was something I was aware of before I took this initial “ awareness” forward. ON the periphery of our emotional fire-walls that consume our attention and flesh, are moments of insight because that part of us that recognizes patterns is there, even if we are living in bubbles of belief composed of worm holes that look like a techno colored rainbow. Children probably can see this, before they lose a clarity and reconcile with the game because the adults are lost within this hypnotic hyper-realized scattered and anxious distraction in a resonant time loop. Meanwhile the tree keeps on giving and pays no taxes. 

Why does it appear that so many are losing a spatial sense?

Being caught in an emotional firewall would cause such an outcome.

That is pretty simple.

What would it mean to step outside of that loss of spatial sense into really standing here as a living word? 

What would that look like within me? The system programming by those racing to own resources would bring forward Star Wars, that “ force” that in my over-used imagination, would relate to a state of being clear and present, being like a tree, constant, stable and giving, without paying to live. 

Sometimes within being around another person a sudden shift happens. That is in itself telling. I mean, did we have any thoughts of who was wearing a mask or not wearing a mask 6 months ago? How much of that is occupying your attention these days? How much of the narrative is focusing your attention onto some “thing” today? Is this causing more mis-takes in one’s daily life with this additional dis-traction that was non-existent 6 months prior? Compare the two. Is this occupation as a belief of wearing masks entertaining you? Giving you something to make you feel like you “care”? Is it a something to fill a void? 

What would be here if the mask scenario never happened? Shift back to that. Do many other unresolved things suddenly come up that you have a resistance to addressing? Where are you? 

When we become emotional does it cause new consequences that must be addressed leading to a desire to run away and give up? From what? How many times do we realize we are being emotional and stop, having learned that an emotional reaction will lead to greater consequences?

What are the subtle things that occupy one’s attention in any given moment? What resonant ghosts are voicing themselves in your moments of life? How aware of the trees are you? 

Would having the processing ability to read such in self and others, and at the same time retain an awareness on this living practical reality cause one to live that statement related to Christ where he was understood to have said, “ forgive them for they know not what they do’? I mean, it is understood that things as emotions can be triggered, admitting to something existing within the self that can be raised into an expression. That something is not what is here, it is a residual belief from the past, as we live in a practical physical reality. Building a house involves assembling the parts, piece by piece. So it is with what we allow and accepting within. This, and that we have allowed a system where we pay to be life. The trees and the animals all around us do not pay to be who and what they are. That is a human construction and why poverty is ultimately something by design. Poverty is not a condition of life, it is a condition of a system imposed on an abundant earth evident in that trees simply do not pay to live. The thing about a paper ( digitized word ) castle world is that the information can be changed with the click of a button. This was told “ given as a warning” in George Orwell’s 1984. A book written by a man who had his hand on the pulse of “ innovation”tied to that same “ paper castle.” This is the innate pattern recognition of the human at work. Christ’s words were the same thing. The Mayan’s prophecies are the same thing. Yet, if we are over-using our imaginations, and in a space where time-lines of hyper-polarized information is metaphysically imposed via metal boxes and classrooms where the the info is written by these “ victors,” what will come to resonate within our salt and water bodies? Will what is the expression of a tree resonate as the principle directing that tree-that-does-not-pay-to-live but creates-to-live or will what resonates the scattered nature of what anxiety is, what uncertainty is, what hate is, what blame and spite are, what  an inability to speak in ways that empower common sense as that pattern recognition nature not being caught in a reductionist thin-king of belief where one tiny movement is believed to be what defines the whole? 

Remember, everything is a system. I have to ask myself if these “shut-ins” are really about suppressing a natural ability to recognize patterns and realize that the compartmentalized thin-king is simply one point on a graph hyper-realized to sell/cell a half truth that in itself upsets the body because at its core, that pattern recognition ability knows that somehow the whole story is absent. This causes a natural agitation, manifest as more aggressive behavior because we are happy when we are being ordinary and practical and  building that house and we are unhappy and anxious when we are moving as half truths just to pay to live. A tree is being itself in form and function. It is giving with every micro movement of its being, it is a part of the fabric of this physical life. It pays no taxes, it does not declare its income.  It synergistically and symbiotically is with every fiber of its being giving. At the end of the day it is all a conceptual time warp. We are allowing a slow motion of limited information, as half truths, to build in a resonant storm that causes stagnant movement and destruction of the very fabric of life being shown to us every day by a simple tree.  If we slow down enough, we can read the math, see the mirages of mis-information that so many have warned us against. Prophecy is not really a “ magical” state of being. It is simply a state of realizing false starting points. The innate capacity of life in the human has the power to see beyond a resonant storm and realize that we can be like a tree, and that this state of being is natural. It is who and what we really are.

Day 850 What concepts am I allowing to define me as time-lines in space?

I have this sense that things are not working and it is a fear, when why things are in separation from real potential are a math. What is a time line but a state of separation? 

It appears to me more and more, and this has happened before, that in moving from one point into another, in and as looking at what separates me from reality, as a programming from myself and generations of men, that the subtle poles of belief ride in on another level of understanding. It means that while I recognize more and more certain patterns of behavior and the extent of separation from being equal and one to life, the more I recognize the voices of dissent within me. I created this, I absorbed this, I became this, this determined my life.  It is resonant within me. Seeing this, I mean, really looking at energy verses being more creative as in being more gentle, more calm, more present has a quality of recognizing patterns! Being lost in an energetic past-experienced-based-on-fear-generating-a belief - and with the resonant thoughts as the ideas behind that FOCUS - has a quality to it, a pressure, an inflammation like “ thing” in the body. In “ fine-tuning “ what is here, as a personality consciousness sinking into a quantum mind consciousness resonant within, that self allowed and self generated limited and stagnating thin-king distorts reality and shuts down opportunity to make the choice to really live. What I have allowed myself to BELIEVE remains with me, despite seeing with greater clarity the superstitious nature of a resonant shadow of belief. I mean, if one believes in the shadow, can one convince that person that that is a lie? One has to take that apart. Even dogs and horses need sometime to process new information. It is why our schools are timed and sequenced in such away that a child has little to no time to actually process what has been expressed in that isolated environment.  If we practice confusion we master that, just as musician will master an instrument if a movement is practiced again and again! Remember it works both ways. Just stop for a moment - are you still here? Why has a master of a skill set shared with me that one does not need to practice that much if one focuses correctly? LOOK at how fast one learns to ride a bike! Why is biology appearing to be so difficult to understand? Why is it so spread out and something we learn in high school?  We study, through exposure, romantic fairy tales about one kind of relationship before we are allowed to LOOK at this physical life!  It is one big time warp!  Why is so much dedicated to suppressing the human?  We must be magnificent creatures if so much is dedicated to  suppressing us! Yet, we allow it! 

Thus I slow down and describe the difference. This uncovers more perspective. The moment I move into energy I am no longer problem solving, I am no longer looking at practical application. I am no longer processing the math of personification and the extremely stagnant movement of that accepted and allowed state-of-being. One can hear it in how people speak. They repeat things, more general statements about things. The compounded personification of limited values that by nature of being limited are of polarized value judgements,  this compounded, as practiced movements within: they are weighted. That weight can be sensed. The innocence of a child does not YET have likes and dislikes - they simply explore everything!  Try speeding up Youtube videos, acclimate to that, and listen to the difference! One might then DISCOVER the extent to which we humans are conceptually moving like slugs, and the amount of “ filler” words and ideas we move as that take up our FOCUS and distract us from the real “ measure” the real “ accounting we are living and expressing as polarized value judgements in which we are constantly locked into a very narrow focus!  Would that not make learning something new appear to be more difficult? It is like one is moving against a counter ( counting/account ) force! And that force is a projection, an illusion, a superstition made larger than life! Astounding.  It is visible even though it has become normalized ! 

These resonant time-lines of stagnant beliefs are weakening the physical fabric of existence. It is visible. It is visible in how one “ feels” that doing something is too hard, when the doing of something is a series of practical steps!  You are stagnant in a moving train, and someone is yelling at you from those indistinguishable trees out on the landscape and that voice of  life is so far away in one’s resonant storm it cannot be heard.  It is more stable than that train.  When someone says, “I am doing my best” I immediately think of an administrative mind set - too afraid to upset the existing status quo. And this, because even the slightest awareness of the difference, will make a HUGE difference. Why do administrators tend to self aggrandize ? They believe that doing the paper work is more important when they are maintaining the more non-creative actual work!  The term “ doing my best” is in itself already a distraction from FOCUS. I see the difference as standing in the storm without reaction, and seeing the cracks, the realness in the periphery, and manipulating the space in such a way that that suppressed, as glazed over awareness, as a moment to stand equal to and with in an intention of that, with a focus on that, which is great potential, to make wider that “ crack” to allow a person to discover that “ space.” It does have an effect. The person, to some degree then stands like a deer in headlights, processing the difference, for a moment.  I suppose it has to be done in such a way that what was seen cannot be unseen! 

Would being in that space for a moment, begin to end the petty end-game of comparison and stop the focus on a perception of a threat of what are basically micro-aggressions in relation to the potential that exists in the way we so rapidly learn to ride a bike? When we learn that way, we tend to never forget. 

Day 849 Seeing through the emotional projections

I am overusing the imagination! I find myself caught in inner dialogues .. lol die-logues. Like my “ god” of duality being logged or scripted within me, to then define me and resonate outwards where I will constantly validate that construction and lose a focus on reality. I move into a resonant vortex and then call myself a creator, only to realize it is a false god. Can one see where if a group did this some might faint as they move from their daily lives into that group generating one singular construction of belief? 

I interacted with a person close to me and suddenly found myself absorbing their focus. It is like a thing, a real thing in the space, a movement, a mirage.  I caught myself. It is a process towards limiting overthinking within myself. I also see that in some respects I may have suppressed some things. No matter, it is all a part of the process for me.

I remember I was in a classroom and had taught a lesson, had interacted in practice with the students and was at the point where I had the students practice on their own. As I walked around the room, one student looked up into space and “stared” what appeared to be a hole in the space. That is when I saw it, a huge screen in front of his eyes. He was an interesting student because he could do the math given by the system without any  previous instruction. He had the program for this within him. Later I found out he was adopted, because I remember thinking after meeting his parents that something did not make sense. How did I have that thought of something not making sense in relation to this student? What was I reading that I was not aware of in detail in terms of processing what happened, and yet had the reaction when meeting his parents that they did not have that within them that that student had within him? And again the question as to why I do not have this ability under my own awareness to the extent I could stand within that in any moment? I suppose my own ability was a program in itself with movements of visibility to cause more confusion within me. That which is real must be used even in fragmentation. 

I have realized that in those moments when such things happen I am usually calm and quiet within myself. This is what happened yesterday. It was such a sudden moment, and yet I slightly remember that movement of slowing down to listen. I am very close to this person, on a deep level I find it hard to become angry with them in any way. It is like we both know on a fundamental level that such is not real and not a place to go or to hold onto. I am, once again, left with a deep sense of shame. And a sadness in some respects.

And yet, the main thing I wanted to speak about was that I could see the resistances and reactions appearing, even in a much smaller movement. That protection and defense shield. It is almost as though there was a pulling back away from having listened. Which is interesting because I was in Singapore one time. I had been told many many times that it was very dangerous to take two blond headed children to that country. The whole time I was there is was so tense about my children. I kept a rigid eye on them all the time. It was a relief to return to the shop house and have quiet. One day I had left the house and gone to an area where there were banks, to deposit money. That day, for the rest of the day, in the periphery of my thin-king I felt that I had something hanging on me. I could not shake it. At the end of that day, that part of me that gets so sick of things stood on a side walk, as I neared the place I lived, and I stopped and said “no more!”. It was like I followed that string of uneasiness within me. I met a wall and heard a surprise on the other end of it. Suddenly, that presence , that “ person” that had followed us most of the day was gone. The whole sense of heaviness was gone. In one moment. I suppose such instances accumulated throughout my life leading to a moment where I asked the internet for some answers because I was really really sick of what is going on. 

Yet, it is interesting, because in that moment with the person in Singapore, it was like sensing that person was suddenly blocked off. And that is what is interesting about yesterday, because that fine line where I found myself standing with that person, there was a subtle shift. I sensed that this person could no longer look me in the eye, their head turned and looked elsewhere. I don’t really have anyone to  help me with this so I have to figure it out for myself. 

Anyway, I became aware of my own resistances which is most likely why I noticed the difference between the two expressions. It requires an increase in processing movements in living time. And it requires slowing down and quieting the mind. I also have this sense that I entered into some private space. Do we have shields that come up when we notice movements in the periphery of our presence? And, is this more an opening of the heart? What I find is that it is so important to work on one’s words, to improve one’s ability to process the language, because it allows one to focus on more than what is happening within one. One develops a sense of ease in processing the words, and by extension, can process more than what one is accepting and allowing within one’s self. It is just like a computer. One’s desk top cannot be cluttered with reactions as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as desires, wants and needs, one must see that and sense the greater space around one. It is simple, yet the chaos of the present system is meant to suppress this natural ability. We will not really be happy until we resolve this. And it is very practical, that is the great irony. And it reveals the absurdity of being a fractionalized resonant shadow of beliefs that have that quality of energy, meaning they rise and fall in relatively limited order because what is not real cannot stand with any constancy. And yet we are so used to standing in that, that anything else appears to be a no-thing because it lacks the addictive excitement of the spinning picture show within.