Showing posts with label friction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friction. Show all posts

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Interference Theory Day 758

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

This is a quote I found that I realize describes a mind consciousness system. It describes that we can hold a resonant story of information. It describes that we can carry past movements, or pictures within and as us, that can then become an interference with being focused and present in the practical. It does slow down learning, as learning. Children in their first seven years learn more rabidly. This begins to slow down by the third grade.  IN all of this, what is described by destine is mapped out in our behaviors in and as other areas. we simply do not realize the depth of this and what this means overall. As a mind consciousness, as a individual ‘ heaven’ we lose sight of what is real, how we work and the consequences of not realizing how we work.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an older adult in my world. They recited some knowledge and information about various people in the world. Meaning, recited information about one race being more intelligent than another, by some measurable standards based on an ability to process information. After all, one can accumulate a somewhat correct structure within as knowledge and information about something and be creative within that, yet is the consequences of that formation harm anything in the physical world then it is not complete, yet within separation as social circles, absent of consequences, they will not see the consequences of their actions, that many appear to be solutions. Sometimes solutions are cool as a segue, yet such options must be available for all, as a benefit, if they are only for a few, at the expense of others, then it is a good that is not being given to everyone. This is unacceptable.

Within this, this idea that one race is more than another, what is forgotten is that that group that may have a greater ability to assess more information and appear to be more productive, what is not brought forward and recognized is how such a division has happened. I went to this talk a man gave about having been interested in a really old excavation in Turkey. The foundational remnants of the buildings were of an old race of people who evidently, according to the documentation found, had a non war-like society. They had a more equitable society. This man was looking for examples of this in the world, in his search for such a way of living.  I ask myself, within what is understood in education, that opportunity breeds capacity, that if a race allows this in the people. within a more equitable society, would that race over time, be in general a more capable people? Just as there is  a war on for the mind, done with information flow, creating a resonant memory as a interference of real presence and focus on reality, would there be a competition to eliminate whole races if another race wanted to dominate the world, that being an understanding that the human form, the physical form, just as animals can also learn when given opportunity, can accumulate as a collective an ability to remain in what is natural and live in greater equality to reality and therefor be more productive, allowing all opportunity for the general good understanding the whole is as good as the parts? And, that the more developed this is the greater the capacity of the group, this group of men, that have allowed this become a threat to other groups that have as a collective allowed the collective belief system as a collective ego want to destroy that more equitable structured people, because that is a threat to their personal storied belief system?  And yet, this means that each and all men can form a ore perfect union even within our differences, because differing environments create different actions as the world is at present in climate. It is amazing how the media can create a busy-ness within a narrow focus between two things that cannot be divided as they are quantumly both needed in development. Remember, one cannot learn to play the violin by mastering the parts individually in isolation, it is a progressive building in awareness of all the parts working together that fine tunes each individual part. 

In understanding this , to suggest that one is more than another as a fixed idea is the same as one does individually within comparison of another person. The collective in-structions of a group, simply reveal the math of their ideas, and how when that does not fit into reality via actions that are causing harm, means that what has been allowed to inform them , as direct them, is an interference with what and who they are as human beings. Within this, we can begin to realize that the media is not imparting information that is best for all, that lends an opportunity for each to self realize in ways, and by extension develop clear resonances that inform the next generation towards being effective in their movements and actions that have respect for the practical and physical world. The war on information, is in itself, an expression of separation from practical reality. It is a storm in a televised ‘ tea cup’ that is in itself a distraction as an interference from reality, from the life around us. 

We need only look at the increase in cognitive dissonance in our children, given names under a general heading as “ attention deficit dis-orders.” Cognitive dissonance is a state of being in a lie, it means one is lying, it is confusion, it is the acceptance of limited story, causing a non-fit into the practical. It is a transfer bias of a limited story as confusion is caused through a mis-information of what is real. This becomes a separation from reality, and interrupts learning and builds a me-more-y that is a false positive.  I mean, in reality, by comparison, we no longer have apprenticeships, where a person can go and live something. 

I understand that the Russians evidently projected the resonance of a frog onto some kind of fish eggs, or some other egg. The outcome was evidently that the eggs became frogs. Within this, I remember years ago reading about how a plant that is a relative of a native plant when planted in the area of a its relatives that are more indigenous, that plant will revert back to the native plant. I planted some Japanese lettuce that was very bitter, and that came back the next year without me having to plant seeds. This lettuce that tasted somewhat like dandelions, eventually became just like dandelions. Of course, someone could say the local dandelions took over, but I am not so sure, the leaves are somewhat different, as dandelions can have different leave shapes; some are more round and some have more spikes shaped leaves. The point being, that what resonates influences us, and that what is more of a balance, will eventually become what is in the environment. To not allow this, one must continually push contrary information. Thus, this is information that is counter to what is balanced and normal and able to be held consistently without causing a state of interference, visible in one’s ability, or lack of ability, to process information.  In effect, the existence of an interference within processing information with ease, as the reality and what is within one as a mind construct of mis-information as not the real story, is a transfer memory of information that both slows down learning/absorbing information and  memory performance. 

One need only look at taking tests in school, and all the anxiety within that, and the stress, to realize that one was caught in memorizing a construct of information that hindered processing and caused a memory of friction and personal conflict. It is all here, simple and practical, and hidden in plain sight. We, each are allowing this, and we must realize this, forgive ourselves, and bring our heavens of and as mis-information, to allow us to balance out equal and one to the real, living physical reality called life as this planet earth. 


Thank you for reading. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Day 563 Facing the Shadow World of Limitation.



I realize that in talking with others, where i have to change the measure of their words that I become full of friction. I fear standing up against their belief constructions. Even though I begin to do this, I still find myself being anxious about it, trying to manipulate what they are saying to  keep it polite and thereby missing revealing my own personal experiences in ways that show my own process. It is like I am used to talking in competition, where i say what I did and how it worked. I don’t reveal my own misgivings in my own process, my own limitations of belief that I had to get past.

For example, in the situation above, I could say that my child was having a problem with understanding something, one time, and I had to get out of my own head, my own worries, my own interests and occupations, and also move through an idea that maybe I would not be able to help my son with his school work which I did not want my son to know. So, I was afraid and annoyed and yet I did it. What I found was in stopping within my own self interests, I distanced myself from my own worries and sometimes found solutions, and the school work I had to help with was not so scary, and sometimes I even encountered a perspective from my children that revealed insights I would not have discovered. So, in the end it was cool.

In so many ways, our limitations as our beliefs, opinions and ideas, are a shadow world, composed of feelings and emotions; they are not real. My fear, was a shadow based on an idea of loss, one that had no common sense directive. So, in a sense, my fear of facing measures of limitation as the words of others, is a fear of dispersing a shadow. Shadows can appear to be tumultuous storm clouds but in  a special effect only, what is behind them is a practical world, the measure of which is right there in front of us, we need only look to see, realize and understand that what we think is ominous is of our own ma-king.




Sunday, February 9, 2014

Day 507 The ghost in the machine is the ghost on the machine


What is a ghost as a thought but an abstract picture as an idea of our world, this physical concrete world. We can meditate but when we open our eyes, this form as this physical earth remains. 

As mind consciousness systems, we are a machine of ghosts as abstract thoughts that are about our experience here on this physical earth.  We as this, have allowed the abstract picture as mind to become more real than formation of substance into actual form as the physical world.  And as this, we have separated from the very fabric of physical manifestation.  And this world is very mechanistic, as this is how creation works. The magic is in the doing. 

THe mind can show us how much we have allowed ghosts in the machine to determine perception. Have you ever thought about something, been nervous about it, gone and lived the expected experience, and the nervousness BEFORE conceived did not come up in the actual concrete/physical experience? And then you wondered WHY you had any fear to begin with? The “ how” of this preconceived fear was the IDEA about the experience to come - and it was based on a thought that was an abstract interpretation of reality.

The converse of this, is to go into an expected event, feel prepared based on one’s abstract - collection of thoughts as ideas, and have the experience be totally “ other” than expected. As this event happens one becomes very nervous, because what is happening as “ doing” is other than the ghost in the machine as thoughts as ideas as accumulations of knowledge and information, expected. Here, where one may have walked to an event with confidence, suddenly things seem chaotic, putting one off balance. And here, the ghost in the machine as a construct of beliefs, as thoughts, as pieces of perspective,  as pictures of the “ how” of here are not equal to what actually happens. Which means one is not equal to here. Which means one is not equal in understanding how the mind in fact functions. Which means one is equal to the ghost in the machine, a limitation, instead of actual practical concrete, reality.

 So, in many instances, one goes back to the drawing board of one’s abstract and ventures forth again. This, a practice of building understanding of the physical world.  But the problem here, is the race to build an abstract of sense, which is not motivated by realizing that the only choice is to become equal to the physical , with every breath. 

Because our government is obviously NOT a form, at present, that is taking care of this world, it is a “ ghost ON the machine” of the physical that is not EQUAL to practical physical reality. Our government is a manifestation of the ghost IN the machine in each human. It simply manifests the limitations within each of us, in our inequality to the mechanism of life, as the physical.

We can try and pass laws that allow proportion to the whole, as this allowing a voice and determination within the economy of the ecology, but if the individual perspectives as the human are not realizing self as having an abstract/picture as mind as a collection of thoughts as being a ghost in the machine and not physical reality, then the outcome is more distortion that is attempted to be equalized without addressing the starting point as the individual parts of the collective.  
                                  Quantum Mind  Eqafe.com

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Day 234 Consequence Dimension : Despair Character

Consequence Dimension : Despair Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into and as seeing only the morality placed before me, without any reference to the actual physical world, where I become caught up in a right and a wrong within the confines of the dictates of family, not seeing realizing and understanding the totality of existence as the physical, life, being the value, where not only as a child, did i not reference life, as the physical, as that which is equal in all existent, I allowed and accepted a singular reference point and thus became caught in the friction and conflict within and as the polarities presented, there by essentially not being able to bridge the gap, as the division, as judgement of more than and less than, this act in and as itself as separation from what is constant and real, the substance of life existent as this earth, given freely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the impetus to exist what to move myself within what was given as how this world exists, is not a right or a wrong, but an indication that myself as life is able to move and be responsive in and as life, thus, I am able to change myself here, to move in consideration of all life in this planet, as what is best for all, and within this, the best cure is prevention of accepting polarities of more than and less than in separation from what is best for all, where considering an idea, such as children are to be seen and not heard, is an idea accepting the structure of a hierarchy, ignorant of what is same as a primary point of movement, equality and oneness as life as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the simplicity of breathing and bringing myself back to the physical in common sense of what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as i go into despair, I am actually looking for answers within reasoning asmind separate from the starting point of realizing the actual physical world, where ideas and opinions presented are limited consequences in separation from the starting point of the actual physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stand up for total consequence, bringing myself back to the actual physical world and directing myself one and equal in and as breath, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot know something, at least as far as how this present system functions, and to look and realize that how it is functioning is unacceptable, and that the words, “That is the way it is”, are a fear of self responsibility until the devastation such ignorance allows forces the human to stand and realize the consequence of the be-hav-ior of ignorance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that despair is really believing oneself, as myself, to be stuck in a trap, seeing no way out, which means I have accepted and allowed an ignorance of this actual physical world and the substance of life as being what is same in all, as being the value.

When and as I feel myself becoming a character of despair, I stop and I breath, listening to the “stream” of my own constriction, until I hear/here what separations I am accepting and allowing as fear, as despair, as anxiety, as anger, as judgement, and I stop, I address what is physically here and direct myself within a solution within what is best for all, which is what is best for myself as life.

I commit myself to realizing that going into despair is not a prevention, that the only prevention is the cure as myself as life, being self responsible within what is best for all with and as the physical, as it is the physical which is real and not ideas of more than and less than, as being seen and unheard, or that one race is more than another, or that an animalis less than life- manifest as the abuse given to animals, or that a vaccine is a cure - which it is not as it does not address the development of the virus and only seeks to supposedly remove the existence of it as a secondary step - ignoring the total consequence as to why such a virus manifests, or the consequence of poverty and starvation being that what is actually physically here has become second to money, money that in and as itself is dependent on trees ( or other plants) to exist, thus what is real is the actual physical, as the accepted divisions of men into more than and less than, allowing money -dependent on the physical- to assume superiority over life, thereby ignoring life and thus abusing life within allowing life to be seen yet unheard, the consequences of which, in not being here, are actually seen all over this earth, within disease - as a virus, within child sex trafficking, within the deaths of trees that have been around for generations, within the development of man into a machine pushing papers, within the slavery in China so some child who has no knowledge of itself as life can speak on some cell phone or play with a piece of plastic, none of which could be considered life but actually life in decay, in separation, in limitation, in fragments, instead of expression within the full potential of what children are in fact capable of, I mean they learn to walk and speak, what would they beyond this within support and development, and as a collective of men what would this create on earth were this given to all men, all children?

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that the choice, as the only choice, is to realize that separation from the physical world, is fear, is friction and conflict, creating wants , needs and desires, is actually what has manifested on earth, a society of wants , needs and desires, to placate a starting point of separation from what is real, the actual physical world, as this world is then being used to placate fear, as want, need and desire, instead of actually each and every one who is able to stand up and use common sense, within investigation of how this system actually is functioning as a separation from life.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that my own fears, are based on a fear of loss, with myself having separated from myself as life, and thus has earth been created as the consequential outflow of a development of a mind consciousness system to place man into a system where values of more than and less are lived as this is what man has created, the consequence of inequality being abuse and destruction as what is presently happening on this earth, where this can end, within mankind standing up and realizing equality and oneness as life, here, to within this support all life, as the value being life.



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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Day 197 Friction/conflict is only limited choice

I become angry within interacting with society, where what is most frustrating is not being able to talk, or believing myself to not be heard, which sometimes turns out to not be true as people have come and said what I have said makes sense. Sometimes i am impatient and want an immediate response. I am an American and am conditioned to want to be served NOW and to want convenience. I forget that a huge tree does not grow over night, or in an instant. So, when I become frustrated within a memory, as I feel I have lost because I did not get immediate results, I must stop and breath and investigate what it means to produce something with long lasting effects, with the strength to be consistent as a directive principle, where I do not allow myself to become emotional and, as this, judgmental, allowing myself to go into a polarity of a belief in choices, where I then believe I could have done something differently, which is self judgement and self blame. Within this, all there is to do is investigate what was done and to realize what is here as what has been accepted and allowed and that allowing myself to become overwhelmed with ideas and memories, as self judgements, is not a solution. Here, it is to become equal and one with the judgements and realize they are the separations and the fears, and as blame, within or without, this blame must become one and equal and walked back into equality and oneness as what is best for all, because it really is fear, as it is the belief of a choice to deny- also, the pushing of a limited selection of insight, thus the cause of a conflict and friction within and as myself. The moment I allow myself to become overwhelmed by this, I stop and I breath, and I realize all I can do is investigate within understanding what is here, and equalizing myself with what is here and becoming absolutely directive within what is best for all. This will take time. Terra-forming myself one and equal to this physical world, so that fear is no longer what directs, as the physical is understood and one and equal to myself here.
We see this same action happening within the world, where the precautionary principle is circumnagivated through not allowing studies that tell another side and the use of the words “no significant difference,” meaning that there is a difference, within industry and products. It is like what is said, in known ignorance, “I don’t know of this,” or “ We have no documentation of this”. The paper world is a place to hide, through placing limited information onto the paper and presenting only this. Because something is not on that piece of paper within that administration, then it does not exist, even in the face of physical evidence, which ends up being labeled as “anecdotal” which does not make any sense because research data is a collection of anecdotes! Anecdotes are physical evidence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become overwhelmed with choice, where I go from one polarity to another believing that there is a choice, which is myself not wanting to walk through the superficial face values presented, where should I investigate such face values further I meet with having to stand up and point out what is not being looked at, which is only really a shock to that face value and nothing else.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have a choice, where I reject what is here and create friction within and as myself in avoiding what is here instead of accepting and investigating what is here as one and equal to myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the simplicity of facing what is here needs only common sense of what is here and any reactions are simply a choice as not wanting to face what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the facade of the bully is simply a fear that needs to be walked through, one and equal to myself here.
When and as I feel myself becoming overwhelmed I see, realize and understand that this is myself believing there is a choice, where any acceptance of this and response as this is myself not being honest with myself and instead looking for what will be the solution within relationships as to what is right and wrong in terms of survival within this present system as the being of having a choice means that I am in my mind and not here.

I commit myself to breathing, to slow myself down when I face friction and conflict within knowledge and information, where I, as what has been taught, see only the choices presented, instead of always checking/investigating and realizing that uncertainty is myself unaware of the whole, of what is best for all, and thus no decision can be made within the conflict as it is myself lost within a choice, as the only choice is what is best for all, and as I have no practice within and as this, I must stop and breath and bring myself back to what is physically here.
I commit myself to breathing, to realize that within breath, the uncertainty, as the conflict as the belief in choice, is what must be deconstructed and investigated, then corrected within the principle, as an absolute directive, of what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that I am life, and within this, the memories of the mind as the morality within relationships that serve the interest of survival within a system of inequality, present limited choices only within programmed personalities lacking a developed ( denied) common sense, and thus it is this limitation that is the prison and the cause of friction where the physical senses a lack of common sense as equality with this physical world.
I commit myself to no longer answer as the protection and defense of a personality as a program as what I have been taught, even when threatened with the personification of reaction as “ that is not polite” as what has been said to me within and without, to see, realize and understand that this is myself wanting the comfort of a energetic feeling, this feeling an answer as the mind, and not an answer in common sense of this physical world.
I commit myself to realize that the only peace/piece there is that is real, is oneness and equality with this physical world, where what is directly here as this physical world is what can be walked with and as, as this is what is real, here.



Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 171 Facing a belief of myself as being unworthy

I had the same conversation, again, with a member of my community, that I have had with others within my community, teachers, librarians etc. It amazes me that this one statement I make disturbs so much, in an effort to remind these “leaders” within my world of what is actually here, that cannot be denied.
So many times I have people say to me that they cannot support for profit entities.
Here, remind them that this system of a profit based system, so if there is no profit, there is no support. I also state that the state law says this clearly, that governing bodies are to ensure that what is for the common good is present and not profit ONLY.
The reactions vary. Some stand and blink, as though this is difficult conceptually. Some get irritated, and then seek escape as no answer can be found. Some go into some kind of weird happy face thing, that denies through changing the subject. Some become totally afraid and visibly look like they are about to fall over, they are shaking so hard. In all these reactions there is a definite friction; the eyes start darting around, or become really glossy and stare.
For me, this is starting an inability to conceptualize, to move from a singular idea into an awareness of what actually exists. It is as though this concept of common good in conjunction with what exists as profit, is really hard to fathom, and it is the person realizing they cannot voice this accepted statement anymore, as it is actually ignorant. I am disrupting a limited dictate as idea that actually makes no sense.
So this issue came up again. This time the person was visibly unsettled. Eyes darting around. And then within myself I noticed myself, swimming around, like I was not looking in between looking. I was afraid of the upset but i managed to stop myself from becoming so upset and remaining here. Then I realized the person with whom I spoke was the same thing as I was. She was avoiding moving from the singular belief accepted, and fearing stepping from this accepted statement, and I was worried that I was going to be rejected, because of this limited belief and my own desire to succeed. But I stopped, not because of any directive, but more because I did not want to go there, it was not a choice. It was like seeing an emotional storm begin and just saying no.
We really are warping reality here. Things just get so unclear within this. Wow.
How much do I do this, actually “blank out” from here, and this being because I cannot see the actual structures of what is here, and blank into some fear, some limited idea?
So, I went home, and I realize that this whole scenario is looking conceptually at what is here in common sense, being aware of what is here as this system AND moving within it without desire, want and need as fear clouding self direction. Moving from a singular, habituated idea, as a piece of information that does not see the totality of what exists ( and is even stated within a charter) into realizing that it is singular, is too much for some people, and for others disconcerting.
I realize that this is what is being done to our children. They are taught by teachers and parents who are walking pieces as ideas, opinions and beliefs that are habituated and mislead in that they are not aware of, or revealing , of the totality of what is actually here. So many things taught are limited and based on un-clarified accepted assumptions and thus limiting, creating a walking recitation of statements that are a piece of understanding that has no connection to what is real.
I am an adult, but a child facing something like this, they have no chance. And, more than likely, most adults will probably feel intimidated if a child actually pointed something out that made what the adult said look limited!
Something happened after this. In the last day, when I speak with people I am too aware of the moment of “blankness” as not being hereness. And I notice how much others are appearing to do the same “blankness” thing. Okay.
I have gone back to the beginning; I am here. I am here. I am here, I can’t go there, this is really really fucked up what we are doing. And we are doing this, teaching this to children.

There is clarity and molasses.
The moment I fell was wanting to be worthy, wanting this other person to think me worthy, which means I fear being unworthy. This became big for a moment. And I am procrastinating within getting something done because I fear this.
But I remember having so many people come up and praise me for a performance, and realizing that this praise, though pleasing, really is not so valid, in that it was in myself doing the thing that was what was enjoyable and once the moment of doing it was done, that was it.
I have also had happy faces of praise come to me, only to find later that this was like a competitive glee  in the person, later going and trashing me behind my back. I am wary around too much praise, for me it brings out a red light, I do not trust this, as I have learned it is a face of spite and self satisfaction in the presenter, it is competition.
The sneaky snake of cunning maneuver is how I saw this. To face this will require patience and not allowing myself to fall into a character of believing myself to be unworthy.
If I stopped and caught myself leaving breath and what was actually physically happening, watching a piece try to grasp the whole; conceive of parts in common sense, then this can be done, as this is life being here directing, then there is no need to procrastinate. And this procrastination feels like I am moving like molasses, which is what an inner boohooing actually is. lol Like, “ Will someone please come and hold my hand so I don’t have to do this alone.”
Even, though, in common sense, it will take more than one standing in common sense, because the boohooers will be all that is sounded. The non boohooers will have to get as big as or bigger than those boohooing. lol
From here, I will walk this character of “unworthiness.”








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Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 92 The I am trapped character



Day 93 The I am trapped character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the I feel trapped, with no way out character.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is no way out and that I am trapped.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on an idea that I am trapped, that I can no longer see the solution that is right here in front of me, which is, and can be, only one step, and thus this feeling that I am trapped is my self, as well, wanting expectations to all be automatically filled and completed.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within a system of survival and competition, debt is used to keep an individual trapped into fearing change, as change might mean a loss of money and income with which to sustain oneself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that without change there is no self development.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this character of belief that I am trapped, is accepting and allowing conditions and limitations in fearing loss of what is believed to be good and bad in and as how I live and where I live.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that my mind runs through possible scenarios of change, and eliminated changes that do not fit the picture of what is easy, what is known, what is acceptable according to a family belief system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that, like in the movie “ the Cube” there are many characters that are trapped within this cube and yet only one gets out, the supposed “idiot.”
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the trap is my belief , opinion and idea in and as my mind based on the morality of my past.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am only trapped if I accept and allow perpetual ideas as control of outcome, where I am so busy eliminating what is not known and thus comfortable that I resist seeing anything that is outside of my own conditioning.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my trap is self created.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that patterns of my conditioning is what I am holding onto and thus creating a trap in and as the movement of myself here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my trap is essentially a fear of change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that a way out of this trap is impossible.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this trap I believe I am within is myself not wanting to let go of the past.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this trap I believe I am within is my self fearing making changes for which I will be judged as less than.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that in taking the steps necessary to change, to walk out of this accepted and allowed and believed “trap” I will lose friends and will eventually be told. “I told you so.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the future, the unknown, which is not unknown, it is the illusion that things will be different outside of the trap of my own beliefs.
I forgive myself for allowing the voice of the character that says, “ I can't go on” to be the directive of myself, instead of realizing that the only choice is the voice of principle, as what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the voice of spite, denigrating an object or another outside of myself as the cause of my trap, which can only be what traps if I accept and allow it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to blame, to justify my own trap, and my own belief – in separation from what is real as this physical world – where I allow an opinion to be the ammunition to remain within my trap, to defend not having to change and let go of comfortable behaviors.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to petrify into and as accusation as an excuse to not look beyond my own limitations, my own trap, my own accepted and allowed care actor  of personal beliefs, opinions and ideas, an illusion to step beyond to become equal to what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the confines of my trap are what I know, and thus leaving my trap may cause the end of my own survival and lead to a failure, where it is the trap, as accepted beliefs, ideas and opinions that have lead to myself  being caught within a trap, and thus in believing myself to be in a trap, and yet not wanting to let go of what brought me into this trap, is what I fear losing, and in all common sense I am actually clinging to the bars of my own created cage, fearing to lose that which is the trap.


I commit myself to no longer see the walls of my own trap.
I commit myself to realizing that my trap is my self carrying the burden of my past as memorabilia to attempt to carry with me.

I commit myself to realizing that my trap is my social conditioning, my cultural conditioning, and my personality conditioning based on accepted and allowed beliefs of what I am from childhood in relation to values that are not the value of life.
I commit myself to realizing that this physical world as life is the value, and not a picture and idea of how things should be according to family, class, society, personal beliefs, opinions and ideas.
I commit myself to realize that the fears within and as myself have no value as life, and within this that the fears of others have no value as life as they are the walls of the trap which I believe will send me falling, yet when I look at where I will fall to, there is nothing there, just an idea of fuzzy logic and no clarity.
I commit myself to realizing that the voice in and as my mind, the voice that says, 'you can't do that' is the very wall creating the trap.
i commit myself to realizing that the veil of friction and con-flict are the illusion of loss and not what is physically real here.
I commit myself to communicating within friction and conflict as the fear that is the veil of illusion, a shower of seeming vertigo, where as I breath I realize that my feet have never left the ground as I am here, as I am life, as I am oneness in equality one and equal as the physical , here.



Saturday, June 16, 2012

Day 63 walking the ordinary



I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that all blame and spite are a defense to hide fear of loss.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that my thoughts are a manifestation of my fear of loss leading to emotions and feelings as reflections of how I have separated from self honesty, where self honesty is myself one and equal to life as what is best for all, and thus emotions and feelings and thoughts are the story of my separation from myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the back chat of my mind is a composition of the chapters of my own accepted and allowed separations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the illusion of my emotions , thoughts and feelings, believing them to be real, when these emotions, thoughts and feelings only reflect where I am not equal and one to breath, where I am not existing in self honesty as self honesty being what is best for all, and this best for self, within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I need not fear being what is best for all, that I need not fear the voice of spite within or without, as the voice of spite and blame only indicate  the absence of self honest common sense, where all that there is is to look and to listen in common sense with practical looking and listening equal and one with breath here, as nothing can be lost, but that the endless back chat of thoughts and the rises and falls of emotions and feelings would make it appear to be so, yet this is the illusion and thus the separation from myself here, physically here, one and equal to all that is here, as what is here is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that righteousness is the demand of the thoughts and emotions and feelings to be validated, as this is the illusion in and as separation from what is best for all within myself, where the illusive as mind cannot perceive the whole as it moves in singularities, and thus will only create conflict and friction as it meets another, as one singularity believing itself to be all that is meets another singularity believing itself to be all that is, not realizing itself as a separation in and as a singularity, will create friction and conflict, which is what presently exists as the abuse on this earth as self interest and greed, promoted by a few in control of their own self interest and greed as singularities unaware of the whole, and thus unaware of themselves as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remember breath in every moment , to remember that it takes many ordinary small steps to become  the extraordinary and the extraordinary is a collection of the ordinary, and within this I must remind myself of the ordinary, where I can slow down and enjoy the ordinary and realize that the bling of consumerism is the carrot that makes the extraordinary appear to be able to be bought and not walked, and even suggests what the extraordinary appears to exist as instant gratification, thus I allow myself to separate myself from actually becoming extraordinary, as I can only become extraordinary if I walk and exist as the ordinary, the small baby steps that accumulate into self honesty.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that worry is not the walk of the ordinary.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that blame is not the walk of the ordinary, where I remain in breath one and equal to here speaking in common sense of the whole no matter what spite and blame arises in defense, as defense, as spite and blame are label and accusation only and not being here in practical common sense of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to listen to the conscious mind as thought and realize it is the negative cloaked as the positive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize emotions and feelings as self pity, where a longing exists as a belief that something has been lost, yet the self as life is not in fact accepting and allowing the walk of the ordinary, taking the breath time to walk in common sense here as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I am in spite and blame I am no longer existing in the physical, directing myself through the ordinary steps of clarity as what is best for all, and instead am stuck in wanting to win having lost sight of here in and as the ordinary common sense of considering what is best for all instead of reacting in fear, where fear reveals self interest as it is the separation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the ordinary is self embrace as humility where nothing is expected as gain, as there is only clarity in the moment as what is best for all, and this needs no spite or blame or reaction, only direction within breath and self honesty as what is best for all, the principle of oneness and equality, where all spite and blame is myself as spite and blame is separation from here, this moment of an ordinary step, small, quiet and forgiving as life, as what is best for all.


I commit myself to realize that this ordinary step in this moment is all I can be, here, one and equal to breath.

I commit myself to realizing that this one step at a time appears ordinary, this breath here, and do not allow myself to become spiteful and full of blame, as when I become this I am no longer here, but imagining the loss of some grand illusion.

I commit myself to breathing and walking the ordinary.

I commit myself to slowing myself down to recognize the humble ordinary directive of breath, where breath is like the cleanser of spite and blame in bringing myself back into the humbleness of self embrace as self honesty as life as what is best for all, in common sense of spite and blame being  a desire to win in the confusion of the singularity of the mind, as what has been cultivated by a system of energetic gain in separation of the self directive principle of oneness in equality as what is best for self is best for all.